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Anger, Guilt & The Family
CaregiverDecember 2018
Guest Presenter: Maureen Grant, RSW
Host & Moderator: Family Caregivers of British Columbia
Who We Are
www.familycaregiversbc.ca
• Family Caregivers of BC
(FCBC) is a non-profit charity
dedicated 100% to the
wellbeing of family caregivers.
• 29 years, first of it’s kind in
Canada.
• Serving BC since 2010, past 5
years as part of the Ministry of
Health’s Patients as Partners
Initiative.
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What We Do: What You Can Do:
www.familycaregiversbc.ca
CAREGIVER SUPPORT
EDUCATION
COLLABORATION & ENGAGEMENT
Information, referral & navigation
1-1 Caregiver Coaching
Support Groups
Online Resource Centre
Toll Free Line: 1-877-520-3267
Call 1-877-520-3267 for an assessment
Visit https://www.familycaregiversbc.ca/find-resources/ for
listing
Visit https://www.familycaregiversbc.ca/find-resources/ for
resources
Online Resource Centre
Webinars & Workshops
Events & Presentations
Caregiver Connection Newsletter & eNews –@ https://www.familycaregiversbc.ca/caregiver-connection/
Register @
https://www.familycaregiversbc.ca/events/webinars/
Events Calendar @ https://www.familycaregiversbc.ca/events/
Health System Improvement
Participate in Research
Contact us to engage as a voice for family caregivers
in the health care systemhttps://www.familycaregiversbc.ca/research-family-
caregivers-2/
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Webinar Norms
www.familycaregiversbc.ca
• Confidentiality is essential.
• Each person has the right to take part in
the discussion or not.
• Every group member is welcome to
provide feedback.
• Equal sharing time for all members.
• Be aware that experiences expressed are
unique and may not reflect your own.
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Tonight’s Presenter
www.familycaregiversbc.ca
• Maureen Grant is a social worker who has
worked extensively with Seniors and
Caregivers throughout her 40 year career
as a Case Manager and Medical Social
Worker.
• Her work has included management and
front line positions in Home and Community
Care, Acute Care (including Mental Health),
Specialized Geriatric Services, Brain Injury
Programs, Complex Care and
Rehabilitation.
• She has a private practice providing
support to families experiencing challenges
with caregiving and aging and provides
relevant information and education to
groups and individuals through webinars,
workshops, and private consultations.
Maureen Grant,
RSW
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Learning Objectives
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 6
• Understand guilt and anger are
normal emotions for caregivers.
• Identify possible triggers.
• Review some coping strategies.
• Cut yourself some slack!
The Emotional Rollercoaster
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 7
In A Word…
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 8
Am I Angry because I Feel Guilty or Guilty
Because I Feel Angry?
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 9
Take Guilt as a Given
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 10
A Few of the Reasons We Feel Angry
and Guilty
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 11
• Lack of control
• Desire for things to be the way they were
• Frustration
• Exhaustion
• Injustice
• Stress, Depression, Sadness
• Lack of Support
• Competing Demands
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 12
Some Reasons We Feel Guilty
• Anger and Guilt are normal emotions that can
become overwhelming when we let them take
over.
• We experience a see-saw of feelings every
day.
– Toxic Parents
– Bizarre Behaviours
– Unending Demands
– Repetition
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 13
What Drives Your Feelings of Guilt and
Anger?
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 14
ANGER
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 15
Anger is a Normal Reaction to Stress
• Anger is the strong emotion you
feel when you think that someone
has behaved in an unfair, cruel, or
unacceptable way.
• It can also be
caused by feelings
that life isn’t fair
and you have been
given more than
you can handle.
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 16
Ten Timely Tips to Cope With Our
Feelings
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 17
Tolerate Ambivalence
You Can’t Control What You Can’t Control
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 18
Think Like A Toddler
• Are your basic needs being
met?
• What does your loved one need?
• All behavior has meaning
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 19
Pay Attention to your Body’s
Messages
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 20
Get Something to Eat
Nourish Your Body
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 21
Redirect your Anger
Punch A Pillow Pull Weeds
Exercise
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 22
Take Time Off During the Day
Pay attention to your own health and
needs
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 23
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 24
Moving On
Some Ideas…
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 25
Forgive Yourself
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 26
Take A Break
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 27
Maintain Balance
There are always highs and lows in a day
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 28
Focus on the Reasons
• Savor the good days
• Treasure the memories
• Remember the funny moments
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 29
We All Need Help at Times
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 30
Mareez Reyes
“
“
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 31
Restore your soul
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 32
Community Support “It Takes A Village”
• Family
• Friends
• Public and Private
Services
Family Caregivers of BC
Review
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 33
• Understand what causes guilt and
anger in caregiving.
• Understand what might be
triggering these emotions for you.
• Identify some coping strategies.
• Reminder to be gentle with
yourself.
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 34
Questions, Comments, Ideas, Thoughts?
Don’t Care Alone
Thank you!
CALL US
Caregiver Support Line: toll free 1-877-520-3267
Browse our Websitewww.familycaregiversbc.ca–Caregiver Support Groups–Upcoming & Recorded
Webinars–Articles and Resources–Newsletter
www.familycaregiversbc.ca 35www.familycaregiversbc.ca
