[Andrew J. DuBrin] Your Own Worst Enemy How to Ov(BookFi.org)

title:Your Own Worst Enemy : Howto Overcome Career Self-sabot-age

author: DuBrin, Andrew J.

publisher: AMACOM Booksisbn10 | asin: 0814478611print isbn13: 9780814478615

ebook isbn13: 9780814424438language: English

subject Career development, Success inbusiness.

publication date: 1993lcc: HF5381.D814 1993eb

ddc: 650.1

subject: Career development, Success inbusiness.

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Your Own Worst EnemyHow to Overcome Career Self-Sabotage

Andrew J. DuBrin

Page iv

This book is available at a specialdiscount when ordered in bulk quantities.For information, contact Special Sales Department,AMACOM, a division of American Management Association,1601 Broadway, New York, NY 10019.

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritativeinformation in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold withthe understanding that the publisher is not engaged in renderinglegal, accounting, or other professional service. If legal advice orother expert assistance is required, the services of a competentprofessional person should be sought.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

DuBrin, Andrew J.Your own worst enemy: how to overcome career self-sabotage/ Andrew J. DuBrin.p. cm.Includes bibliographical references and index.ISBN 0-8144-5033-4 (hardcover)ISBN 0-8144-7861-1 (pbk.)1. Career development. 2. Success in business. I. Title.HF5381.D814 1992650.1dc20 91-30484

CIP

© 1992 Andrew J. DuBrin.All rights reserved.Printed in the United States of America.

This publication may not be reproduced,stored in a retrieval system,or transmitted in whole or in part,in any form or by any means, electronic,mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise,without the prior written permission of AMACOM,a division of American Management Association,1601 Broadway, New York, NY 10019.

First AMACOM paperback edition 1993.

Printing number

10 9 8 7

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OnceagaintoCarol Bowman,the Total Woman

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Contents

Acknowledgments ix

Introduction xi

1Gauging Your Hidden Barriers to Success

1

2Self-Sabotaging Life Scripts

13

3Inner Forces Creating Self-Sabotage

34

4Clear-Cut Forms of Self-Sabotage

57

5Subtle Forms of Self-Sabotage

77

6Self-Sabotage at the Top

100

7Political Blunders

123

8Sex Roles and Self-Sabotage

144

9Career-Choking Addictions

165

10Bizarre and Scandalous Actions

185

11How Organizations Commit Career Homicide

202

12A Master Plan for Removing Hidden Barriers

217

References 231

Index 237

Page ix

Acknowledgments

My primary thanks on this project go to the hun-dreds of people who have shared their storiesabout career self-sabotage with me or my re-searchers. Many of their case histories are foundin this book. Abundant thanks are due my editorat AMACOM, Andrea Pedolsky, for seeing themerit in this project when it was still in the pre-liminary proposal stage. Ms. Pedolsky offeredmany valuable suggestions that have helpedshape the content, structure, and writing style ofthis book.

Carol Bowman, the woman in my life, receivesmy gratitude for her interest in my work and forher contribution to my peace of mind and happi-ness. Thanks also to my immediate family mem-bers and to the other people close to me: MelanieDuBrin, Douglas DuBrin, Drew DuBrin, MollyClifford, Rosemary DuBrin, Tom Bowman, andKristine Bowman.

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Introduction

Do you have a pattern of doing things like

Losing your wallet or keys the morning of a bigevent in your life, thus occupying yourself withyour loss rather than concentrating on (and en-joying) the occasion? As a result your perform-ance is substandard.

Investing extraordinary amounts of mental andphysical energy in a new job, then slowly realiz-ing that this job really isn't best for you? As aresult you start looking for a new positionwithout having established a good record of ac-complishment.

Criticizing powerful people in your organizationin such a way that they become embarrassed, an-noyed, and vengeful? As a result, a powerful per-son vetoes your next nomination for a promo-tion.

Conducting your personal life so chaotically thatpreoccupation with your problems drains energyfrom your career?

You might be doing one or more of these thingsbecause you are caught up in career self-sabot-age. A person practicing self-sabotage frequentlyfails at tasks that he or she has the ability to per-form. Or the person does not reach attainablegoals. Strangely enough, the self-saboteur cre-ates the very conditions that lead to the setback.To create additional hardship, the self-sabotagingperson often fails to take advantage of alternat-ives that are clearly available (such as refusingdebt counseling in the midst of financial chaos).

Self-sabotage thus involves doing things againstyour best

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interests, even though you probably could dootherwise. Several aphorisms"shooting yourselfin the foot" and "being your own worst en-emy"get to the heart of the problem. Sometimesthe self-saboteur appears to be driven by an un-conscious mental process akin to the death wishsuggested by psychoanalysts. In many other in-stances of self-sabotage, the victims are con-scious of their path toward self-defeat. Yet theystand by helplessly watching the carnage. Theterms self-defeating behavior, self-destruction,and self-handicapping all refer to this same hid-den barrier to career success.

The purpose of this book is to help serious-minded career people overcome their hidden bar-riers to success. Barriers refers to tendencies to-ward self-defeating, self-destructive, and self-handicapping actions. You will find many notesof optimism here despite the pessimistic subjectmatter of the book. I hope to help you overcomeyour blocked potential by explaining the natureof self-sabotage, analyzing the self-defeating ac-tions of others, and presenting a plan for con-quering these hidden barriers.

Perhaps you are a close friend or relative of a ca-reer self-saboteur. If so, I think you will gain in-sight into what is happening and therefore learnhow to help the person headed toward career de-struction.

Identifying and controlling your hidden barriersto career success is a liberating experience. Ifyou stop working against your own best in-terests, you will achieve more success and happi-ness. For example, if you stop getting into argu-ments with people who are trying to help, youwill be much freer to enjoy being productive.Even an MBA from the Kellogg School ofNorthwestern University or the Harvard Busi-ness School cannot realize the potential of his orher knowledge and status if ensnared by a hiddenbarrier to success. If you are your own worst en-emy, you have to rehabilitate yourself before youcan accomplish your stated goals.

I am concerned primarily with the person whohas embarked upon a promising career but is en-gaging in behavior that can lead to failure, me-diocrity, or unfilled potential. My attention isless focused on the person who has self-destruc-ted right off the career launching pad, or the per-son who makes one out-of-character mistake.Being convicted of driving while intoxicatedonce in

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your career, or dozing off at one planning meet-ing, is not necessarily career self-sabotage. Muchmore significant is a pattern of creating yourown roadblocks to success.

Self-sabotage, self-defeat, self-destruction, orself-handicapping can surface at any careerstage. Many students flunk out of college simplybecause they choose not to hand in written as-signments even in courses in which they are do-ing well. A thirty-six-year-old regional salesmanager at a computer company sacrificed herchances for promotion to vice-president by in-sulting her boss during a staff meeting. At ap-proximately age 52, Senator Gary Hart tossedaway his chances for the Democratic presidentialnomination by involving himself in an indiscreetextramarital affair.

This book is an offshoot of many years of work-ing with, speaking to, and writing about careerprofessionals. My analysis is that many of uscreate conditions for derailment by erecting ourown barriers to career success. Understandingmore about self-defeating behavior, includingtaking a candid look at your own tendencies inthis direction, could provide the breakthrough inyour career.

You will find valuable information both in theprescriptions given in this book and in the de-scriptions of the mistakes, misdeeds, and misfor-tunes of many well-meaning people. The adviceyou receive may help you to overcome presenttendencies toward self-defeating behavior andprevent future occurrences. For example, youmay read a story about somebody who mysteri-ously ruins many big days in his life and recog-nize similarities between that person and your-self. After recognizing that you too have such aproblem, you may be motivated to accept the ad-vice given for overcoming such a problem.

Chapters 1 through 3 deal with measuring yourcurrent tendencies toward career self-sabotageand understanding its major causes. Chapters 4through 10 describe many different forms of thehidden barriers to career success. Sometimes,however, only a thin line exists between a causeof self-defeating behavior and the behavior itself.For example, having a "loser script" may causecareer self-sabotage. Yet acting as a loser is aform of career self-sabotage. Chapter 11 explainshow organizations sometimes do things that pushpeople toward career self-

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sabotage. The final chapter presents a masterplan for overcoming hidden barriers to success,thus liberating you to become happier and moresuccessful. The other chapters also contain use-ful advice.

This book has a rhythm and format that youshould anticipate. First I introduce a key ideaabout self-sabotage and then present an illustrat-ive case history or example. Next, I usually offeran analysis of how people find ways out of sucha problem. At various points in the book I askquestions of you to help you think through how aproblem might be overcome. Most chapters con-tain checklists of suggestions to get you startedovercoming self-defeating behavior.

The vast majority of case histories presented inthis book are originals, supplemented by a fewexamples of public figures. The original casesare disguised to protect the identities of peoplewho have made mistakes that could be embar-rassing if publicly exposed.

Page 1

1Gauging Your Hidden Barriers to Success

The work force is strewn with people who neverachieve their career goals and never fulfill theirpotential. Instead of being relatively happy withtheir careers, they mutter to themselves and con-fidants, ''Why does something terrible happen tome so often, just when things are going right?"Self-sabotaging people never realize their poten-tial because problems continually arise, whichthey bring upon themselves. They always find away to trip themselves up, fall on their ownswords, shoot themselves in the foot, or bringabout self-imposed misery.

Some of these self-saboteurs may be peoplewhose consumption of alcohol and other drugsblocks them from achieving important goals orare otherwise engaged in a wide variety of self-defeating behaviors. Among them are procrastin-ators, negative self-talkers, people with an irres-istible impulse to insult key people, power ab-users, sexual harassers, and those who fear suc-cess. Even if you have yet to commit a flagrantact of self-sabotage, you could still be harboringinner tendencies in that direction. Understandingself-defeating behavior may help you prevent itfrom surfacing.

Let's begin our exploration of self-sabotageandof what can be done to deal with the problem-with Tim.

Tim received his bachelor's degree in business ad-ministration twenty years ago, and today worksthe night shift as a custodial supervisor for an of-fice maintenance company. He earns much lessthan he did at the peak of his career. Tim is alsomuch more disgruntled than in the past.

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After graduating from college, Tim spent threeyears in a management training program at Gen-eral Electric. Unsure as to which business func-tion interested him the most, Tim welcomed theopportunity to be rotated through various depart-ments in his division of GE. After six months ofemployment, Tim received his first performancereview. Although he was rated as meeting expect-ations, Tim's supervisor noted that he had "a tend-ency to not follow through on important assign-ments. For example, he was one week late in as-sembling figures for a competitive report on dish-washers. Another time, he called in sick the day itwas his turn to accompany me on a report to topmanagement."

Tim continued to receive mediocre performanceevaluations for two years. His supervisor advisedhim that GE was not displeased enough with hisperformance to put him on probation. Neverthe-less, it was apparent that he did not have the po-tential for management responsibilities. Ratherthan face an indefinite time in an entry-level posi-tion, Tim searched for another job. Severalmonths later, he found a position as an assistantbuyer for a medium-size manufacturer of con-sumer appliances. Tim's supervisor assured himthat he had made the right career decision. "Afresh start might be just what you need to pullyourself together," he said.

It appeared that Tim's boss was right. Tim's careerblossomed at the new company. Within one yearhe was promoted from assistant to junior buyer.His purchasing responsibilities were small, butwhat Tim did he did well. Tim relished the ideathat he was now being treated as a somebody.Suppliers telephoned him regularly, and compli-mented his choice of clothing and sense of humor.When Tim was late getting specifications readyfor a supplier, the supplier would never complain.It was the vendor's role to please Tim.

Tim felt he now had his career under control. Hewas adored by his suppliers (as long as he placedorders with them), and they helped him performvarious job duties such as preparing reports forhis company. Within three years, Tim was pro-moted from junior buyer to buyer, based on hisreceiving satisfactory performance appraisals. Hisemployer continued to prosper, and Tim contin-ued to avoid any bouts of dreadful job perform-ance. At the beginning of his eighth year with thecompany, Tim was promoted to senior buyer, as areward for his length of service and satisfactoryperformance.

As a senior buyer, Tim was responsible for nego-tiating multimillion-dollar contracts. During theday, and while he drifted off to sleep at night,thoughts of power and control would often racethrough Tim's mind. A smile would emerge, asTim would think to himself, "Finally, I'm homefree. I'm getting the treatment I deserve."

Tim soon thought of more ways to expand hispower and control.

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Gradually, he placed more demands on suppliers.It began innocently at lunch. Tim would stronglysuggest, when a supplier came in for a luncheonmeeting initiated by his employer, that the suppli-er pick up the tab. When Tim visited a supplier,he insisted that the supplier pay for the lunch.Most of the suppliers would have preferred thatTim occasionally pay for lunch, but they did notcomplain out of fear of losing a customer.

When the year-end holiday season approached,Tim made subtle comments about the season ofgiving and generosity toward your friends. Onefall, Tim noted that a major supplier of his com-pany was located in Cincinnati, the site of the up-coming World Series. Tim telephoned the suppli-er and explained that he would warmly welcomea pair of tickets to two Series games, along withtransportation and lodging. When the supplier'ssales representative equivocated, Tim insisted thathonoring his wish was simply a cost of doingbusiness.

The sales representative discussed the issue withhis manager. She, in turn, called Tim's boss. Thesales manager and Tim's boss set up a time whenthe sales representative would telephone Tim. Asting operation was established by having the se-curity officer from Tim's company tape the con-versation. At the completion of the call, the secur-ity officer walked into Tim's office and escortedhim off the premises. After the company soughtadvice from legal counsel, Tim was terminated.

For a year Tim sought another position in pur-chasing, before accepting the fact that his tar-nished reputation as a buyer blocked reemploy-ment in his own field. His job-hunting strategythen shifted to accepting whatever employmenthe could find that would come close to meetinghis expenses. A family friend who managed anoffice-cleaning service decided to give Tim afresh start as a custodial supervisor. "However,"said Tim's new boss, "screw up once and you'rehistory."

Maybe the shock of being fired will help Tim de-velop the insights he needs to prevent furtherself-sabotage. As his career developed, his self-defeating behavior had already pushed him downa notch on the occupational ladder. Tim mightnot have tumbled if he had developed insights in-to his early-career tendency to defeat his ownpurposes. The reports he submitted late at Gener-al Electric were telltale signals of self-sabotage,at least to an outside observer. If Tim had had in-sight into the possible implications of not com-pleting his work on time, he might have beenalert to other signs of handicapping himself. Thepattern of greed he developed as a buyer werefull-blown manifestations of self-defeating ca-reer behavior.

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Part of Tim's problem was that he remained tooinsular and secretive. Also, he didn't get caughtfor a long time. If he had discussed what consti-tutes ethical and appropriate behavior with otherbuyers, he might have become sensitized to howfar gluttony can be pushed. Instead, he deve-loped a private code of buyer ethics.

One might argue that if Tim were rational, logic-al, and intelligent, he would have known how farto push his luck. The compelling counterargu-ment is that the normal rules of logic and ration-ality do not apply to self-sabotage, self-defeat,and self-destruction. Emotions and other innerforces can compel us to do things that any de-tached outside observer with wisdom would tellus were dangerous to our career health.

Examining Your Tendencies Toward Self-Sabot-age

Self-sabotage exists in degrees. At one extremelie people who are so self-destructive that theyhave very limited careers and wrecked personallives. People with full-blown self-defeating per-sonalities are chronically dissatisfied, and workdiligently to undermine their own achievements.Pure self-defeating people, for example, oftenmoan and groan about how bad life is and howfew good breaks they receive. At the same time,they engage in many self-defeating acts, such aspublicly criticizing the boss or losing importantreports.

In the mid-range of self-sabotaging behavior arepeople who engage in such activities only peri-odically. From time to time they mess things upfor themselves, for instance, by waging a cam-paign to shoot down a senior executive's project.At the other extreme are people with almost nonegligible tendencies toward defeating their owninterests.

The questionnaire is based on the signs andsymptoms of self-sabotage. It will give you tent-ative insight into the degree to which you may besabotaging yourself 1 and alert you to a range ofsubtle and not-so-subtle self-defeating behaviors.A given statement on the questionnaire couldserve as a signal for you to get some aspect ofyour behavior under control.

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The Self-Sabotage Questionnaire

Directions: Indicate how accurately each of the statements below describes or character-izes you, using the following five-point scale: (0) very inaccurately, (1) inaccurately, (2)midway between inaccurately and accurately, (3) accurately, (4) very accurately. Answerevery question. You might consider discussing some of the questions with a family mem-ber, close friend, or work associate. Another person's feedback may prove helpful inproviding accurate answers to some of the questions.

Score

1. Other people have said that I am my own worst enemy. _____

2. I generally avoid situations in which it appears I will have a good time. _____

3. If I don't do a perfect job, I often feel worthless. _____

4. I am my own harshest critic. _____

5. Most of my time is devoted to other people's goals or problems rather than to myown.

_____

6. When engaged in a sport or other competitive activity, I find a way to blow asubstantial lead right near the end.

_____

7. Past setbacks have blocked me from moving on to new challenges. _____

8. When I make a mistake, I can usually identify another person to blame for mymistake.

_____

9. I expect to fail on my most challenging work assignments. _____

10. I spend time with people who belittle me and my thoughts or ideas. _____

11. My tendency to procrastinate is sometimes severe. _____

12. I waste a lot of time. _____

13. When I really want something, I will act impulsively to get it. _____

14. I often feel irritable and moody. _____

15. I often wish I were someone else. _____

16. I have trouble focusing on what is really important to me. _____

17. I have trouble taking criticism, even from friends. _____

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The Self-Sabotage Questionnaire


Score

18. My fear of seeming stupid often prevents me from asking questions or offer-ing my opinion.

_____

19. I trigger other people into getting angry with me, and then I feel hurt, defeat,or humiliated.

_____

20. I often find myself saying, "I don't feel up to it." _____

21. I tend to expect the worst in most situations. _____

22. I am self-sacrificing even when nobody asks me to make a sacrifice. _____

23. Many times I have rejected people who treat me well. _____

24. When I have an important project to complete, I usually get sidetracked, andthen miss the deadline.

_____

25. It is difficult for me to acknowledge that I am having a good time. _____

26. After having enjoyed myself, it is typical of me to feel sad suddenly. _____

27. I usually feel guilty after having had a good time. _____

28. When others offer help, I usually reject it even if I need their help. ______

29. I typically allow barely enough travel time to get to an appointment, then getangry at myself for having to rush.

_____

30. I hold on to my friends even when they often insult me. _____

31. I choose work assignments that lead to disappointments even when better op-tions are clearly available.

_____

32. I frequently misplace things such as my keys, then get very angry at myself. _____

33. I am concerned that if I take on much more responsibility people will expecttoo much from me.

_____

34. I avoid situations, such as competitive sports, where people can find out howgood or bad I really am.

_____

35. People describe me as the "office clown." _____

36. My expectations in life are far higher than those of most people. _____

37. I crave frequent recognition and attention. _____

38. I have an insatiable demand for money and power. _____

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The Self-Sabatage Questionnaire


Score

39. When negotiating with others, I hate to grant any concessions. _____

40. For me to be content I need a big thrill. _____

41. When something terrible happens, such as the serious illness of a loved one, Ibecome immobilized.

_____

42. I seek revenge for even the smallest hurts. _____

43. I feel doomed to fail. _____

44. I have a blinding ego. _____

45. When I receive a compliment or other form of recognition, I usually feel I don'tdeserve it.

_____

46. Many times I have tried to make friends with people whom I knew in advancewould reject me.

_____

47. To be honest, I choose to suffer. _____

48. I regularly enter into conflict with people who try to help me. _____

49. I try to get away with as much as I can on the job. _____

50. I'm a loser. _____

Total Score _____

Scoring and Interpretation. Add your answers to all the questions to obtain your totalscore. Your total score provides a rough index of your tendency to be self-sabotaging orself-defeating. The higher your score, the more probable it is that you create conditions tobring about your own setbacks, disappointments, and failures. The lower your score, theless likely it is that you are a self-saboteur. The interpretations offered are not based onanswers to specific questions but on the general level of a person's score. Such is the casewith most personality questionnaires. More precise guidelines for interpreting your scoreare as follows:

050: You appear to have very few tendencies toward self-sabotage. If this interpreta-tion is supported by your own positive feelings toward your life and yourself, you are ingood shape with respect to self-defeating behavior tendencies. However, stay alert to po-tential self-sabotaging tendencies that could develop at later stages in your career.

51100: You may have some mild tendencies toward self-sabotage. It could be that youdo things occasionally that defeat your own purposes. A person in this category, for ex-ample, might write an angry memo to an executive expressing disagreement with a de-cision made

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by the executive that adversely affects his or her operation. It would make sense to re-view the actions you have taken during the past six months to decide if any of them havebeen self-sabotaging. Invite a confidant to lunch, or for an after-work drink, to obtain hisor her opinion as to your tendencies toward self-defeating behavior.

101150: You show signs of engaging in self-sabotage. You probably have thoughts,and carry out actions, that could be blocking you from achieving important work and per-sonal goals. People whose scores place in this category characteristically engage in negat-ive self-talk that lowers their self-confidence and makes them appear weak and indecisiveto others. Statements of this kind include "I can't do it," "I'm not the brightest person,""My education isn't the best," or "I'm no good with numbers."

People in this range frequently experience another problem. They sometimes sabotagetheir chances of succeeding on a project just to prove that their negative self-assessmentis correct. A credit supervisor said she would be turned down for promotion to creditmanager because top management thought she was unreliable. When invited out to dinnerwith the company controller to discuss the promotion, she declined the invitation, statingthat she had to work late in the office. She was not offered the promotion, thus provingherself right. Her self-sabotaging behavior, of course, was to turn down the dinner invita-tion. The woman proved to herself and the company that she was unreliable.

If you scored in this range, you will most likely benefit from a careful study of thesuggestions offered in this book. Also ask for feedback on your self-defeating tendenciesfrom one or two confidants.

151200: You most likely have a strong tendency toward self-sabotage. (Sometimes itis possible to obtain a high score on a test like this because you are going through an un-usually stressful period in your life.) It is important for you to study this book carefully,and to look for useful hints for removing your hidden barriers to success. Equally import-ant, you might discuss your tendencies toward undermining your own achievements witha mental health professional.

If you are as self-defeating as your questionnaire score suggests, you have to workhard to avoid thoughts and actions that will do permanent damage to your career. On thepositive side, your candor in answering these questions could mean that you are lookingfor help and want to become less self-defeating.

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Reversing Self-Sabotaging Tendencies BeforeThey Become Self-Destructive

Throughout this book, and especially in Chapter12, I describe methods for overcoming careerself-sabotage. Among these tactics are: Stopblaming others for your problems; stop denyingthe existence of problems; make positivechanges in your life; and visualize self-enhan-cing behavior. The process is not complicated,but it involves the most difficult task of careermanagement. Instead of doing something relat-ively straightforward such as setting improve-ment goals, you are required to critically exam-ine your own behavior. As you examine your ac-tions and thoughts, search for early-warning sig-nals of behavior that, if made public, could putyour career in a tailspin. Many people either con-sciously or subconsciously block from theirawareness their self-defeating behavior. Conse-quently, you may need to enlist a confidant tohelp you scan your behavior for hints of self-sab-otage. Ask a former boss, for example, "While Iwas working for you, did I ever do anything that

looked as if I were trying to hurt my own ca-reer?"

Again, self-insight into self-sabotage is not easyto come by. Many people spend over a year inpsychotherapy before accepting the fact that theyhave been erecting barriers to their career suc-cess. You have to assume the mental set that youhave a problem and that you are going to dowhatever is necessary to deal with that problem.Raul, an advertising agency manager, is the ex-ceptional person who did something constructiveabout his self-defeating behavior. You too canuse his willingness to change a negative behaviorpattern as a model. He was insightful enough tocall a halt to his self-defeating behavior beforehe inflicted himself with a serious career wound.

Raul began his career as an assistant copywriterin an advertising agency. He chose advertising be-cause he believed he had a creative contributionto make. Raul's career choice proved to be smart.He advanced rapidly, becoming an account exec-utive by his mid-twenties. He handled increas-ingly larger accounts, and became an agency su-pervisor by age 30, with several account execut-ives reporting to him. As Raul sized up the situ-ation, he saw he was on a clear track to being in-vited into partnership in his firm.

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If a partnership was not forthcoming in his ownfirm, Raul was confident that his track recordwould enable him to buy into partnership in an-other firm.

Impeccably dressed, with a confident smile andpolished interpersonal skills, Raul appeared to bea gentleman and a winner. He had a problem,nevertheless, that was moving him, step by step,toward self-sabotage. Raul describes whathappened:

It took me a long time to admit it, but I was oneof those subtle sexual harassers. I never did any-thing as crude as making vulgar comments to awoman who worked for our agency or for a cli-ent. Nor did I ever attempt to coerce a subordinateinto having sex with me, or hang photos of nudewomen in my office.

There were a couple of things I did do that couldhave gotten me into a lot of trouble. I've alwayshad an irresistible impulse to brush up againstwomen. I would make it look like an accident or asimple act of standing close as I worked with awoman on advertising copy or layouts. If she re-coiled, I would move away immediately, respect-ing her rights. But if she stood still, I would leavemy arm placed against her a little longer. What Iwas doing was certainly less brazen than whatgoes on in the subway thousands of times everyrush hour.

No woman ever criticized me for standing tooclose, so I continued with my friendly brushings.So long as I was unobtrusive, I didn't think I washarming anybody. Until I met the advertisingmanager of one of our small accounts. She wasone of the most beautiful women I had ever seen,and I began to fantasize.

On the few occasions I dealt with Laura, I felt un-easy and self-conscious. Face it, I had a school-boy crush on her. Once or twice in our early plan-ning sessions, Laura made passing mention of herhusband. Feelings of jealousy flooded throughme. I wondered if Laura would have wanted me ifI had met her before she became involved withthe man she married.

I knew I was taking a risk, but I thought I had tomake one stab at having an affair with Laura. Oneafternoon I telephoned her at her office. Laura'sassistant said she knew Laura was in the buildingand that she would page her. This wasn't the scen-ario I imagined. It would have been better to talkto Laura when she was working alone in her of-fice. Sounding preoccupied and distant, Laurasaid, 'What can I do for you? I thought we hadthings under control yesterday.'

Awkwardly, I explained to Laura that this wasn't abusiness call. I wanted to know if she would beinterested in having dinner with me any eveningthis week. 'I don't think so' was her curt response.

I knew then that my fantasy about Laura couldnever come true.

Page 11

Naively, I thought it would be business as usualwith her company. To my shock, I received a let-ter two days later from Laura's firm explainingthat our agency would not be invited to bid onany future contracts. Furthermore, an associate inLaura's office would now be our contact with theaccount.

I brushed off the incident to my boss as one ofthose unfortunate whimsical changes of mind en-demic in our business. I wondered if my boss hadmore details about Laura's reasons for thechanges. I worried that if he did I might be askedto resign. As it worked out, my boss wasn't happy,but we were so busy with other accounts that helet the matter slide.

The bad judgment I used in inviting Laura to din-ner was an important last straw for me. It broughtme to the idea that the office is no place to act outmy sexual fantasies. What poor judgment Ishowed in making a move on a married womanwho was also my client! The incident also helpedbring into focus what was wrong with brushingup against women in the office. I was harassingand intimidating them and possibly creating a badreputation for myself. I had found a self-indulgentway of jeopardizing my own career. The advert-ising world has enough people trying to do you inwithout you helping them along.

I knew I couldn't make amends for years of har-assing women, but at least I tried one apology.Several days later, one of the office assistantscame in to help me review some figures. I casu-ally mentioned that I wanted to apologize for in-vading her territorial space the other day. I toldher I realized that I was so absorbed in my workthat I momentarily forgot about common cour-tesy. She smiled and graciously said that shewasn't aware of any problem.''

Raul achieved sudden insight into his tendenciestoward self-sabotage before too much damagehad been done. Raul's firm did lose one accountunder his supervision, and most likely Laura willnot recommend Raul's firm to people in her net-work. If Raul has a deep-rooted problem, he willagain find ways to sabotage his career. My ana-lysis is that Raul is healthy enough to control hisactions as a consequence of his narrow escape.He did become aware of his long-standing prob-lem and felt some remorse.

Because warding off career self-sabotage beginswith a candid self-assessment, I recommend thatyou scan the self-sabotage scale again and pon-der carefully which behaviors and thoughtsmight be trouble spots for you. Corrective actionmight be required if even one of the statementson the Self-Sabotage Questionnaire pinpoints aproblem area. One such statement appears

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as item number 1: "Other people have said that Iam my own worst enemy." The spontaneousjudgments of others, if often repeated, usuallyprovide reliable feedback. It would be worth ex-ploring what people mean when they say you areyour own worst enemy. Investigate and see ifyou need to make some immediate changes.

Another key question is number 8: "When Imake a mistake, I can usually identify anotherperson to blame for my mistake." People who re-fuse to accept some responsibility for their mis-takes fall into disfavor with others. They are of-ten bypassed for promotion because they are per-ceived as being somewhat paranoid.

Knowing how and why so many people put nailsin their own coffins can be helpful in overcom-ing your own hidden barriers to career success.This is the reason why the particular case histor-ies you will be reading in the chapters aheadwere chosen. Understanding the reasons whyothers have tripped up can help prevent you fromfalling down in the same way.

Assume, for example, that you read a case abouta professional person whose career advancementwas damaged by behaving immaturely (bytelling inappropriate, gross jokes at meetings, forexample). You might be triggered into keeping alid on your own tendencies toward immaturityduring working hours. A key theme of this bookis that with proper insight and motivation peoplecan learn to overcome and prevent self-defeatingbehavior.

In addition to explaining why people have en-gaged in self-defeating behavior, there are manyexamples of how people have overcome theirproblems. Understanding how others overcomeself-sabotage can give you positive models fordoing the same thing.

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2Self-Sabotaging Life Scripts

Early in life our parents and other influentialforces, including our peers and the popular cul-ture, program our brains to act out certain lifeplans. These life plans are known as scripts. Ourscript determines what we do in many key situ-ations in life. People fortunate enough to havewinner scripts consistently emerge victorious.When a tough assignment needs doing, they getthe job done. They salvage major accounts aboutto leave for a competitor; they introduce a suc-cessful product during a recession; they figureout how to run software that befuddles every-body else in the office; and they score a goal atthe buzzer.

Unfortunately, others have scripts that programthem toward damaging their careers and fallingshort of their potential. Paradoxically, much ofthis damage occurs just when things seem to begoing well. Understanding these negative scriptsis very important because the scripts are often amajor contributor to self-sabotage. If you aresabotaging your career, it could be because ofyour script. Reading this chapter will help youunderstand how a self-sabotaging script can bechanged.

Thousands of different scripts exist, all vari-ations on positive and negative, winner and loser,themes. Here I describe eight self-sabotagingscripts found frequently in the workplace. Allthese scripts are reversible. Even if you do notbelieve that people are really programmed to-ward self-sabotage, you will recognize thesescripts as behavior patterns that do more harmthan good.

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LOSER SCRIPTS

Make-Believe

1. Choking2. The Short Attention Span3. The Commitment Breaker4. The Solo Performer5. The Jealous Person6. The Irresistible Impulse

Running Away From Problems

7. Friendship at All Costs8. Biting the Hand That Feeds You

The Loser

The Loser is the master self-sabotaging script. Allother self-defeating scripts are but variations andtributaries. Surprisingly, people with loser scriptsare found at all occupational levels. If they havelimited talent, energy, and formal education, theyremain at the bottom rung of the occupational lad-der. If they are more talented, energetic, and bettereducated, they may even rise to professional andmanagerial positions. But somehow, they screw upat their potential moment of greatness.

As explained by Dudley Bennett, a specialist in thestudy of scripts, there are two kinds of loser scripts.1 In the first kind, losers indulge themselves inmake-believe. They may dwell on the past, cling toold ways of doing things, feel sorry for themselves,and lament, "If I only had. . . ." Losers of this typespend their lives looking to be rescued or wishingfor a magical solution to their problems. Many lot-tery players are acting out this type of loser script.

If we are in the category of the first type of loser,we may imagine a doomsday future and live withdread expectations. We worry about the negativeconsequences of everything, such as

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earthquakes, stock market crashes, recessions,and business failures. (Losers are often accuratepredictors of negative events, but are poor pre-dictors of good times.) We are so involved inimaginings of the past or future that we miss outon the realities of the present.

The second type of loser script centers around re-ceiving applause and winning the approval of themajority or of key people. This type strives hardto achieve in order to overcome feelings of inad-equacy. As Bennett says, "Congratulations fromthe powerful, rich, high in status, or elite are par-ticularly gratifying because parental figures havealways been the source of good things. Those de-licious big strokes come from big folks." 2

Both these loser scripts foster career self-sabot-age, although the negative effect of the second isless obvious. Both scripts are substitutes for cre-ating a real sense of self-worth. People who arecontent with themselves are able to accept thepresent. They are also able to feel positive aboutthemselves without constant adulation from oth-ers.

Make-Believe

Choking

Acting out the loser script takes many forms. Agood starting point in understanding loser scriptsis to look at "choking." In athletics, as well as inthe workplace, some people perform below theirproven ability when the pressure is high. Part ofthe problem is that they become very tense andself-conscious when they know that big stakesare involved. Such was the situation with Teena,a professional photographer.

Teena had a mediocre childhood, with not muchwarmth and support from her parents. She recallsvividly having come home from school one dayto announce triumphantly that she had beenchosen as the yearbook photographer. Her fatherwas too preoccupied watching television to domore than simply acknowledge her accomplish-ment. Teena then looked to her mother for a re-ceptive audience. Teena's mother said that beingappointed photographer was nice, but asked whyshe didn't try to become the yearbook editor.

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Teena enjoyed her work as a yearbook photo-grapher but had several uncomfortable experien-ces in shooting her assignments. Once she spentthe afternoon shooting pictures of several clubsonly to discover later that she had not loaded filminto her 35mm camera. With much embarrass-ment, she contacted the clubs and explained thatbecause of her forgetfulness she would have to re-take the photos. Another time she ruined some ac-tion shots of a football game while developingthem in the darkroom. As a substitute for the ac-tion shots, the yearbook had to use some unin-spired shots of the stadium.

After graduating from high school, Teena studiedcommercial photography at a vocational institute.She then found employment as an associate in aphoto store, but continued to look for a positionas a photographer. Two years later, Teena foundpart-time work as an assistant photographer. Busi-ness at her employer's studio expanded rapidly,and Teena was offered a full-time position. Atfirst, her employer was reluctant to offer Teenathe job because she had knocked over the lightstwice when they were on assignment. Teena as-sured her boss that such performances would notbe repeated because tripping over the lights washighly unusual for her.

Teena performed satisfactorily for the next coupleof years, including shooting many senior-yearportraits. With her boss's confidence in her abilit-ies restored, Teena was assigned a wedding toshoot. She was the main photographer, assisted bya part-time trainee. Teena tossed nervously in bedthe night before the day of the wedding, but afterreviewing her list of everything that needed to betaken to the wedding, she became confident thateverything was properly planned and returned tobed to sleep peacefully.

Teena worked through the wedding shoot withmuch more confidence than she would have pre-dicted. As she and her assistant were packing toreturn to the studio, Teena shrieked in disbelief, "Idid it again. I screwed up. The whole assignmentis ruined." "Why is it ruined?" asked the assistant."I set the meter at the wrong film speed. We'llhave nothing but junk. Forget it, I was nevermeant to be a photographer.''

As it worked out, the photos were not completelyruined. With careful developing most of the neg-atives were salvaged, but the photos had a dull,flat look. The customers were unhappy, and theowner gave them a substantial discount off theagreed-upon price. Teena was so discouragedthat she asked her boss never again to give her anindependent assignment. She choked on her bestopportunity to prove to herself and others thatshe was a competent photographer. Her only er-ror was not adjusting

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the knob on her light meter to match the newhigh-speed film she was using. A ten-second ad-justment would have saved the shoot. Teena hadreviewed everything but this one tiny detail.

Teena might be able to bounce back from thisone-time incident and gradually regain the con-fidence of her boss. But until she learns to over-come chokingher way of acting out the loserscriptshe will lose again and again. She needs tobegin by emotionally understanding that shedoes choke, and then to practice not choking asoften as possible. Teena must visualize peak per-formances in her mind beforehand, and then al-low herself to convert them into reality. She isadvised to imagine herself on an important shoot,taking care of every important detail and doing amasterful job.

If your tendency is to choke when a peak per-formance is required, you too could be strugglingwith a loser script. Review your past experiencesunder pressure so as to decide whether you do infact have a tendency to choke. If this is the case,begin to imagine yourself not choking during acommand performance.

The Short Attention Span

A clever way of remaining a loser is never tostick with a project or job long enough to be awinner. Having a short attention span is also agood cop-out. The person who doesn't stickaround long enough to truly test his or her capab-ilities can think silently, "I know I could do it(whatever the it is) if I just didn't get bored soeasily." Rob is an exemplar of this self-sabot-aging script.

Fifty-two-year-old Rob has held a succession ofjobs in the insurance field over the past thirtyyears. In each new position, Rob goes through acycle in which he starts out working extremelyhard, rises to the top, slacks off, then is either ter-minated or voluntarily seeks a new position.

Twenty-one years ago, Rob joined a large inde-pendent insurance agency and established himselfas the leading producer. He was promoted to salesmanager, and then became executive vice-presid-ent. Initially Rob devoted a great deal of time tohis role as executive vice-president. Then hebegan working three-day weeks from Junethrough October, taking Mondays and Fridays offas vacation days. On the days he was in the of-fice, Rob took care of many personal errands.With so much time diverted from work, Rob

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was unable to meet most of his objectives. AfterRob coasted for two years, the owners of theagency forced him to resign.

Rob then found employment with another largeindependent agency. After two years of whirlwindperformance, Rob was appointed as vice-presid-ent of the multi-state branch operations of thefirm. He worked extremely hard for twelvemonths and produced excellent results. After en-countering some problems, such as a high numberof claims, Rob began to slack off. He began tak-ing long weekends, running personal errands, andshortening his work days. Rather than firing Rob,the agency offered him a position as an insurancesales representative.

Rob began his sales position with a burst of activ-ity, but his sales soon fell below quota. He wasterminated for unacceptable performance, and isnow planning to borrow money to purchase hisown agency. He pleads with his potential credit-ors. "This time things will be different. It will bemy own show. I'll stick with it." 3

Rob contends that this time things will be differ-ent. In contrast to the past, he will sustain a highlevel of energy and commitment in his next posi-tion. But things won't be different unless Robanalyzes whether he is acting out a loser or awinner script. Until people confront this basic is-sue, they have a minimal chance of shucking aloser script. If Rob thinks he has inherited a loserscript, he can decide not to live by it any longer.A script can be changed by deciding consciouslyto make the change.

Perhaps you too can benefit from examiningyour script. So far, does it more closely resemblea winner or a loser script? If you are playing outa loser script, make a commitment to yourself tochange scripts.

The Commitment Breaker

A friend of mine told me he was heartbroken andperplexed. He had finally found the woman ofhis dreams. Within four months they became en-gaged, and within six months unengaged. Shebroke off the engagement, and returned the ring.The woman told him not to take it personally be-cause she had broken four previous wedding en-gagements. My friend learned about The Com-mitment Breaker script the hard way. The samescript can lead to career self-sabotage.

The executive job hopper exemplifies the com-mitment brea-

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ker. Often these people rationalize breaking writ-ten contracts or unwritten agreements by con-tending that they are executives-of-fortune. Theyare professional managers, available to thehighest bidder, to whomever offers the biggestmoney and the greatest job challenge. A reputa-tion for high-level success is necessary to be-coming an executive job hopper. People withmuch less talent and visibility who make a rapidseries of job changes are simply perceived as oc-cupationally unstable. Usually they are forced totake jobs at much lower levels than they desire.

A paradox about The Commitment Breakerscript is that it can be disguised as a winnerscript for many years. A case in point could beRick Pitino, the popular, articulate, and person-able basketball coach of the Kentucky Wildcatssince the 19901991 season. At age 32, Pitino hadalready been a successful coach at five schools.Among his accomplishments were reversing los-ing records of both a college team and a profes-sional team. Pitino decided to leave as coach ofthe New York Knicks to coach at the Universityof Kentucky. He had three years remaining onhis contract with the Knicks, who complied withhis request to break the contract. One reason thatsuch contracts can be broken is that a disgruntledcoach is unlikely to perform at his best.

Pitino rightfully considered the Kentucky jobone of the biggest plums in college athletics. Al-though Kentucky traditionally has had one of thecountry's outstanding basketball teams, the pro-gram faltered after it was penalized for many vi-olations by the National Collegiate Athletic As-sociation. Pitino has made an excellent start atKentucky, and we wish him the very best. Butshould he leave Kentucky early, we suspectPitino's broken commitment script will sabotagehis career. If Pitino can reverse this script, hestands a good chance of becoming a legendarybasketball coach.

Are you a commitment breaker? You could be ifyou answer affirmatively to most of these ques-tions:

1. Have you been engaged to three or morepeople?

2. Have you voluntarily left three or more jobs ina five-year time span?

3. Do you have a drawer full of major projectsyou planned to undertake but never got around todoing?

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4. Have you canceled more than three life insur-ance policies?

5. Have you attended more than three schools inthe pursuit of one degree?

If your pattern is one of breaking commitments,start the long comeback process. Stick with yourpresent commitments until they reach a logicalconclusion. An example would be leaving yourjob only after you have made a major contribu-tion and after your successor has been identified.

The Solo Performer

Poor team play, described in Chapter 5, can bringabout career self-sabotage. It can also be part ofThe Solo Performer script that represents adeeper-rooted reason for self-defeat. Solo per-formers are so programmed to work independ-ently that they fail in team efforts. A seasonedentrepreneur describes a self-sabotaging soloperformer:

Dave is a twenty-five-year veteran sales repres-entative in the furniture industry. He is an affable,well-educated, and responsible person with aquick mind and excellent sales skills. I first methim fifteen years ago when we shared adjacentbooths at a small regional furniture show. We keptin touch over the following couple of years.

Approximately two years later, I was working asa sales manager when I received a call from Daveinquiring about any sales openings we mighthave. When we met he told me of his disillusion-ment with promises made him in his current posi-tion that never materialized. At the time we hadno positions available. A few weeks later, though,I contacted Dave regarding a position on the WestCoast. He expressed strong interest despite the re-location involved. The human resources peoplechecked out his background to their satisfaction.Shortly thereafter, Dave joined the company as asales rep in the Pacific Northwest.

Dave was welcomed by the dealers in the area,several of whom contacted me about the good jobhe was doing. Previously this territory was doingvery poorly. In Dave's hands it began to pick uphandsomely. The regional manager was delightedwith the sales results. He was also pleased aboutnot having to travel to the Pacific Northwest ter-ritory himself. Although the territory continued toshow positive sales results, the manager becameconcerned about Dave's poor attention to planningand paperwork. Dave's chronic complaining aboutthe demands being placed on him by the companyalso concerned the manager. Because his overallperformance

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was still good, we decided to stay in closer touchwith Dave and give him some support and en-couragement in the areas of concern.

Upon contacting Dave myself, I mentioned theneed for providing more management informationfrom the field. Dave's response was negative, al-most hostile. He used my phone call as an open-ing to complain bitterly about his manager andmyself. He had no specific suggestions other thanstating that he did not have time for such "non-sense." The regional manager and I passed it offas a guy having a bad day.

Because he was becoming more belligerent, weinvited Dave to meet with a human resources spe-cialist. Several conversations were held withDave regarding the real source of his problems.We suggested that the company would pay forprofessional counseling, but Dave quickly rejec-ted the offer. Through these conversations andfeedback from others, we discovered a pattern ofDave doing a fine job of selling, but only wantingto work on his own terms. We discovered that hehad probably been terminated by all four of hisprevious employers. In each case it had to do notwith his selling but with his difficulty in workingwith management.

We then gave Dave an opportunity to work moreon his own terms. Still he became increasinglydifficult to deal with, and we eventually had tofire him. Dave soon found another sales positionwithin the furniture industry as a regional man-ager. He reported to an old friend of his who wasa division manager in a large corporation. Withinthree years, Dave was once again terminated forhis unwillingness to work smoothly with manage-ment.

While Dave is currently employed in a sales posi-tion, people who know him well expect a similarscenario to be replayed. People who know Davebelieve the only explanation for his self-destruct-ive behavior is his tendency to blame all his prob-lems in life on his job. Despite his ability to bequite charming, he has never been able to sustaina relationship with a woman. Neither can he holdon to sales management responsibility.

Because he has outstanding sales ability, he is in-variably successful in the short term. Yet he can'thold on to a personal relationship or work wellwith other people in the company. His extremeself-confidence as a sales representative causeshim to assume that his other problems are thefault of circumstances beyond his control. Evenwhen confronted by these inconsistencies, heblames outside forces, such as managementwrongdoing. Those who know Dave doubt that hewill ever change his pattern, but they are alsoconfident that his exceptional sales skills willkeep him employed, although unhappy. 4

The explanation just offered for Dave's problemsis valid as far as it goes. He does blame outsidecircumstances for his

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troubles. But at a deeper level, Dave is playingout The Solo Performer script. He rebels whenhe has to get closely involved with managementand submit to their demands, such as for market-ing information from the field. Dave also has dif-ficulty with the team aspect of a relationshipwith a woman. He prefers to control the relation-ship by making the major decisions and circum-venting the give-and-take characteristic of mod-ern couples.

According to author John Wareham, a line ofself-inquiry that might help Dave overcome hislosing script is to ask himself, "What happens topeople like me?" 5 If honest, he might visualizean embittered and burned-out sales rep facing thesame old battles with management year afteryear. Equally disturbing might be the visualiza-tion of never having a long-term relationshipwith a woman. Such disturbing scenarios mighthelp Dave change his script.

To check out the possible self-sabotaging ele-ment in your script, ask yourself, "What happensto a person like me?" If you envision a drearyscenario, it is time to begin working on a morewinning script.

The Jealous Person

Everyone experiences envy and jealousy at somepoint in their lives. Both emotions involve beingresentful of another's success and advantages.Jealousy, however, involves a stronger emotion,thus creating more potential for self-defeatingbehavior. An occasional bout of jealousy is nat-ural, particularly when a rival receives a big pro-motion. The Jealous Person script involves alifelong pattern of becoming so jealous that itcreates career and personal setbacks. Steve, amiddle manager in a gas and electric company,lived out the Jealous Person script to his disad-vantage.

When Steve was 25, one of his closest friends be-came involved with a woman Steve had datedseveral times previously. Steve was infatuatedwith the woman, but she had no interest in sus-taining a relationship with him. When the womanin question moved in with Steve's friend, Stevewent through an emotional upheaval. Confusedand hurt, he refused to play golf with his friendany longer, and barely acknowledged his presencewhen they met.

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To help overcome his feelings of jealousy, Stevecourted and won the affection of the first womanwho expressed any interest in him. One year laterthey were married. Shortly after the marriagebegan, Steve realized that he neither loved norparticularly liked his wife. The couple have re-mained married, while Steve continues to be jeal-ous of men who have girlfriends or wives theycare for deeply.

Steve's progress at the utility company has beenmodest despite his desire to advance and to havemore status than his peers. One of his formermanagers offers this explanation for Steve's mod-est progress: "The poor guy goes bananas whenanybody gets something he thought he deserved.One time he wasn't chosen for a task force tostudy the program for subsidizing the utility billsof the disadvantaged. He kept pestering me tofind out why he wasn't chosen, and what could bedone about the situation. Steve also went over myhead to talk to my boss. The incident backfiredbecause top management took a very dim view ofhis maneuvering.

Steve had the same kind of problem when he wasbypassed for promotion. His face would wince inpain when somebody with equal or less experien-ce received a promotion. One time he threatenedto quit if the company didn't appreciate his contri-bution. I told Steve to do what he thought best be-cause we were well staffed with managers. Ithought his childish attitude detracted from his ef-fectiveness as a manager."

Wareham suggests one approach to dismantlinghis Jealous Person script that Steve might takewould be to realistically assess his "comfortlevel." 6 What is there about his background thatdictates that to be happy he must have a flamingromance, be appointed to key task forces, orhave a better-than-average middle manager posi-tion? Early-life influences shape people's percep-tions of what they need to be comfortable.Maybe self-analysis will help Steve realize thathis parents and relatives settled for much less inlife than he requires. Although many people ex-pect to achieve at a higher level than their par-ents, many baby boomers are willing to settle forless.

If Steve doesn't reassess his comfort level (or ac-celerate his accomplishment level), his jealousywill continue to be self-defeating. What aboutyou? Is your comfort level so high that it propelsyou into becoming jealous of too many people?If your answer is yes, challenge your comfortlevel and bring it down a notch.

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The Irresistible Impulse

Falling prey to an irresistible impulse just once,such as playing the lottery with petty-cash funds,can sabotage one's career. Living out a life scriptof submitting to such impulses dramatically in-creases the chances for self-sabotage. Evelyn,whose career reached an early plateau, thinks shehas finally overcome her Irresistible Impulsescript. She presents a few of the revealing de-tails:

Ever since childhood I was wild. I was the pro-verbial tomboy. Growing up in the city, I ran witha crazy crowd. I was the biggest risk taker ofthem all. We would climb up fire escapes and wa-ter towers. We would hitch rides on the backs oftrucks. The group dared me to smoke a joint inthe high school assembly hall and I did it. Idressed up in rags and panhandled on the sub-ways. Anything for kicks.

Dropping out of high school didn't exactly helpmy career. One year of working in a garment fact-ory in Brooklyn convinced me to make somethingof my life. I studied for and got a GED (GeneralEquivalency Diploma) on the first shot. Then Ienrolled in a computer science course at a com-munity college. All the time I was still operating asewing machine for a living.

My craziness almost got me thrown out of com-munity college. I had an assignment to write a pa-per on how food affects your health. I went to thelibrary to do my research. It was overwhelming.The guides the librarian showed me listed hun-dreds of books and articles on my topic. The as-signment was giving me a headache. Then Ifound a Reader's Digest article that was perfect.Since the Digest is written in plain English, I de-cided to copy the article word for word. I threw ina few spelling mistakes so it didn't look like pla-giarism. Little did I know my instructor readevery article she could find on my topic. Besidesthat she kept back copies of Reader's Digest inher apartment.

My article sounded familiar. So my instructorsearched and found it in one of her old Digests.She nailed me with an F. she told me to meet herat her office after class. I gave her a story aboutmy struggle in life. She decided to let me off thehook, if I would do another paper. This time I didan honest job.

After getting my associate's degree I found a jobworking with computers in an engineering depart-ment. I spent most of my time grinding out somenumbers. About 90 percent of my day was spentin my cubicle, at my computer. A friend of minetold me about a computerized blackjack game.

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He said it was quite entertaining, and could beplayed on the job. It was strictly against the rulesto play computer games at my company. But Ihad to do something to break up my routine alittle.

Jerry, my boss, walked by my cubicle one after-noon, and overheard me say "hit me." I explainedthat I was trying out the blackjack software just torelieve the boredom. Jerry at least listened to me.But he had to give me a verbal warning for play-ing a computer game. He told me the warningwould not go on my records, nor would it affectmy chances for advancement. But if I werecaught again, it would go on my permanent em-ployee record.

I thought that if I could play the game a fewminutes a day and keep my mouth shut, Iwouldn't be caught again. Two weeks later, at fourin the afternoon, when my work was slow, I dealtmyself a few hands. Jerry walked over to my cu-bicle. Zap. He made a written record of the viola-tion, and told me that If I were caught again Iwould be fired.

I can't get anywhere in my company now. If Iquit, I would probably get a lousy reference. I'mstill in my cubicle, and I don't know what I'll donext. Life is very dull right now."

Evelyn deserves credit for accepting the fact thatbeing impulsive has gotten her into trouble bothin the past and present. A danger signal,however, is that Evelyn is now frustrated. Whilefrustrated, people often return to true form andact out another scene from their script. If Evelyncan resist the irresistible impulse, and patientlyrebuild her reputation, she may be able to incor-porate a winner script into her life.

You may be suffering from the irresistible im-pulse problem if you do such things as

Grab pastry or beverages from a serving tableoutside the room of a conference to which youhave not been invited.

Borrow equipment for personal use from the of-fice.

Poke into files when you have no need to invest-igate.

Gain access to computerized information bybreaking down the code.

Snoop into a friend's wallet while she is in anoth-er room.

Running Away from Problems

Running Away From Problems is one of themost damaging loser scripts because success re-quires confronting problems. Almost

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everybody faces some career adversity. Success-ful people are usually able to overcome these set-backs and move forward to tackle new chal-lenges.

People whose lives are directed by the RunningAway script typically run away from big andsmall problems both on and off the job. Haveyou noticed, for example, how some people stuffin a closet an electronic gadget they cannot read-ily learn to operate? The problem solvers stickwith the gadget until they learn how to operate it,or get help. Often they take the same approach tojob problems. A middle-aged man named Seanexemplifies the pattern of Running Away FromProblems.

Sean currently teaches part-time at a businessschool. His work history includes stints as anelectronics technician in the Navy, as a police of-ficer, a retail store manager, a quality assurancemanager, and a computer project manager.

In all these jobs, Sean was either fired or quit be-cause he failed to handle a difficult situation.When problems arose between himself and hissupervisor at the retail store concerning handlingcustomer complaints, Sean quit. When the com-puter project he was managing was behind sched-ule and over budget, Sean did not show up forwork for three days. As a result, he was termin-ated. In both situations Sean blamed circum-stances beyond his control as being responsiblefor his behavior. He blamed the store manager forbeing impossible to work with. He blamed thevendor of the software and hardware for trying toundermine his authority.

Right now Sean is facing a tough problem atwork. The department head at the business schoolhired him because of his diverse business back-ground, knowing that he did not have a collegedegree. When the director of the school learnedabout this deficiency, she informed Sean that allteachers must be college graduates. Her com-promise was to allow Sean to continue teachingas long as he was pursuing his degree.

Sean looked into the degree program at EmpireState College, which gives course credit for workexperience and offers individual rather thanclassroom instruction. Sean anticipated alreadyhaving the equivalent of an associate's degree be-cause of his work experience and miscellaneouscourse work. The admissions counselor, however,ruled that Sean's credentials fell far short of twoyears of college credit.

Because Sean works only part-time, his financesare limited. However, there are ways he could fin-ance his schooling. He could obtain another part-time job, or he could borrow money from hisaging parents. Sean refuses to accept these meansor any other alternative, and has given up on

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continuing his education. As a result, he will notbe offered any more teaching assignments at hisschool. 7

Sean's checkered work history is typical of theproblem fleer. His occupational drift downwardhas already begun. His next stop is probably fur-ther down the occupational ladder. Middleaged,unemployed, and without formal credentials forthe type of work he prefers, Sean faces a bleakfuture. If he could somehow accept the reality ofhis script, it would not be too late for him tochange. However, confronting his script is yetanother problem he flees. Ask a confidant wheth-er in his or her opinion you tend to flee fromproblems. If the answer is affirmative, make aprodigious effort to face your next problemhead-on.

Friendship at All Costs

On the surface, wanting friends badly mightseem like a winner script. Many people enjoyworking with those who are constantly smiling,give great discounts, buy the coffee, and givegifts to co-workers and support staff. What'swrong with wanting to be liked, loved, and ad-ored? Plenty, under some circumstances. TheFriendship at All Costs script can interfere withgood business judgment, thus creating adversityfor the person wanting to be liked. The partywho is the object of the affection usually bene-fits. Mary, an interior decorator, is a person whofollows the Friendship at All Costs script.

Mary grew up as an only child, abused by hermother and ignored by her father. She had fewplaymates in her neighborhood, so she eagerlysought friendship. Desperate for companionship,she tried to win it by giving gifts and compli-ments to people she knew. During her many yearsas a full-time homemaker Mary devoted time topleasing neighbors through such means as bakingcakes and cookies for them and by volunteeringto run some of their errands. She also workedvery hard to meet the demands placed on her byher children.

Mary began her interior decorating business whenthe youngest of her children reached 18. She wasencouraged to become an interior decorator byher family. With her husband's financial backing,she was able to launch ''Interiors by Mary." Al-though Mary did not have formal training in in-terior design (she had majored in elementary edu-cation), her natural talent was

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impressive. Her work was featured in an article inthe Sunday morning edition of the local newspa-per. A photo essay showed before and after pic-tures of rooms she had decorated. Mary quicklyacquired a healthy number of leads, and Interiorsby Mary had a promising future.

The promise of a good business future never ma-terialized. The personal relationships Mary deve-loped with clients and prospective clients in-terfered with her willingness to charge them forher services. In a typical situation, Mary wouldvisit a potential client's home for a consultation.After surveying the house, Mary would give theclient prospect her specific ideas for redecorating.If Mary had been more general in her recom-mendations, she might have been hired. Instead,the prospective client used Mary's ideas to do herown redecorating.

Mary's poor business judgment finally resulted inthe loss of moral support from her family. Ahomeowner named Eve hired Mary to redecorateher penthouse, and granted her almost free rein.Mary would buy something on the spot, with herown money, if she thought it was appropriate forEve's apartment. Mary assumed Eve would laterreimburse her. However, because they had deve-loped a close friendship, Mary was reluctant tobill Eve for the purchase. Consequently, manyout-of-pocket items for Eve's home were paid forby Mary.

Mary did not even bother sending Eve a bill forthe household items she purchased. In Mary'smind, she was doing a favor for a friend morethan performing services for a client. This feelingexisted even though Mary and Eve knew eachother only through the client/decorator relation-ship. Mary's husband and children were angeredby her buying gifts for a client. They thoughtMary was being exploited, and they were an-noyed that her attempts to befriend Eve weremore important to her than the survival of thebusiness.

Mary's relationship with Eve exemplified how shehandled several other clients. After stumblingaround for six more months, Mary was forced toclose the business for lack of funds. 8

How could Mary have been helped? Mary willnever be able to run a business efficiently or be amanager unless she overcomes her strong needto be liked by others. Mary can't change the re-jecting way she was treated by her parents, or herfriendship-starved childhood. All that is in thepast. Perhaps by joining a support group Marycould increase her self-esteem and self-accept-ance. By so doing she might find that she nolonger required friendship at all costs. InsteadMary might be able to

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develop mutually beneficial business relation-ships that were cordial but not personal.

How important are friendships to you? Do yourepeatedly sacrifice good business judgment inorder to maintain a friendship with another per-son?

Biting the Hand That Feeds You

Striking back at the source of your financial oremotional support is not unusual. Many peoplerebel against an employer, a parent, or a spouse.Being dependent on another person naturallygives rise to this type of conflict. What is moreunusual are people who continually bite the handthat feeds them. Most such people lack insightinto how they are sabotaging their careers. Onesuch person who overcame this problem wasTammy. She is a talented and charming personwho defies occupational pigeonholing.

Tammy began her career as a product demonstrat-or in a department store. First it was small kitchenappliances, then cosmetics, then toys. Tammy'scharm, wit, and good looks not only attracted cus-tomers to her demonstration table but brought inlarge numbers. After one year of good service, thestore manager offered Tammy a $1.25-an-hoursalary increase, and told her that she had a greatfuture in retailing. Nevertheless, he suggested thatTammy be more prompt in arriving for work.

Tammy became infuriated. She told the managerthat a $1.25 increase was much below what shewas worth, and that criticizing her lack ofpromptness was insulting. Tammy also said thatproduct demonstrations were beneath her dignity.She never showed up for work again, except toreceive the one week's salary owed her.

Tammy decided to give modeling a try. The firstagency she contacted agreed to represent her. Theagency immediately found Tammy assignmentsas a clothing model at trade shows and depart-ment stores. Her charm and poise made Tammypopular with the trade show officials and storesthat hired her. The agency was able to keepTammy booked frequently. After eighteen monthsof steady bookings, Tammy demanded a biggerpercentage from the agency. She told the agencyhead that she was being exploited by the large cuttaken by the agency on bookings. Tammy also de-manded to know why she wasn't getting anyphoto modeling assignments. The manager ex-plained that although Tammy was very attractive,her face wasn't thin enough, and she was too shortfor most fashion photo assignments.

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Tammy had three more confrontations with themanager over the same issue. One day shestormed into the office and said to him: "You'vebeen deliberately cutting me off from bookingsthis past two weeks. I've had it. Don't ever call meagain. I'm through with this agency."

Tammy then tried a succession of jobs: door-to-door cosmetics sales representative, restauranthostess, office receptionist, and reservations as-sistant at a hotel. Each time the pattern was thesame: Tammy was hired on the basis of her charmand exceptional verbal skills, and performed up toexpectations. She would then find some reason tofight with her boss, and quit. Finally, the patternchanged. Tammy explains what happened.

Here I was a thirty-three-year-old bundle of tal-ent, having really gone nowhere. My latest jobwas in the service department of a Cadillac deal-er. I processed the invoices after service was com-pleted, and explained the bills to customers. Thejob required a lot of tact because sometimes thebills were much higher than the customers expec-ted. Shortly after I took that job, I married Jeff, aman in his late forties. He worked as a heavyequipment driver for a construction company.After I was working at the dealer about eightmonths, Jeff had a heart attack. The doctors saidhe wouldn't be able to return to work for at least ayear.

About two months after Jeff's heart attack, I al-most got into another one of my arguments. Myboss said that I handled customers well but I wasglossing over explanations of charges. He saidthat some people were complaining to regionalheadquarters about being overcharged. My bosssaid that meant customers did not fully under-stand what they were being charged for.

I was ready to start my counterattack. All of asudden I bit my tongue and listened. I was relyingtoo much on charm, and not explaining facts care-fully enough to customers. What triggered me in-to listening instead of spitting fire was that Jeffneeded my income. He was drawing disabilitypay but it wasn't even enough to cover his ex-penses. Picking fights with my employer andwalking out in a huff made no sense anymore. Nolonger could I be the self-centered little queen.Destroying my career was bad enough when Iwas on my own. Doing it when somebody needsyou is insanity."

Changing Your Script

Tammy changed her script when being neededtriggered her into realizing that self-sabotage nolonger made sense. For most others with self-sabotaging scripts, change may take more work.In order

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to change a self-sabotaging script two key stepsare required. You first have to examine yourscript, and then exercise conscious control tomake the change. Professional counseling, sup-port groups, and encouragement from friendsand family are all helpful. But the responsibilityfor changing a loser script remains with the per-son who has been losing.

Examining Your Script

A short dose of self-analysis often yields fast in-sights into the nature of one's scripts. To achievethese insights, ask yourself the following tenquestions used by John Wareham as part of hismethod for overcoming losing scripts:

1. What does your family tree tell you? Your par-ents gave you most of your scripts, and their par-ents gave them theirs. By studying your familytree, you can quickly spot your key personalitycharacteristics, and the outline of your destiny.For example, did your father show great promisebut always get into trouble at work just when itwas time to be promoted?

2. What is your comfort level? The income andstatus levels attained by your family are likely torepresent the socioeconomic level you strive toattain and maintain. You may be running on atreadmill to attain something you don't want. Inretaliation, you may be trying to trip yourself upto get off that treadmill.

3. Are you a "winner" or a "loser"? Which typeof script did you inherit from your parents? Ifyou think you inherited a loser script, make thedecision not to live by it any longer.

4. How do you feel on your birthday? The an-swer to this question can provide insight intohidden feelings that shaped your early life, andcontinue to shape it today. Are you the youngestchild who was always compared unfavorably toyour oldest sibling? Did your parents have somany high expectations for your success that youhate competing? Are you trying to fail to geteven with your parents?

5. How did the world look to you as a child? Thegood and the bad things that have happened to usin childhood often influence our adult behavior.If you ran away from problems as a child, it is

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understandable that you do the same today.Wareham admonishes: "Identifying childhood'sdemons is the only way to exorcise them."

6. What were the recurring roles you carried outin early life? Were you the helper, the rescuer,the tough person, the clown, the loser? If you arestill carrying out one of these roles and it is unac-ceptable to you, it is time to change.

7. What did you have to do to get your parents'attention? Did you have to make them laugh,cry, get angry? Did you have to be sick or in-jured to be noticed? Did you have to conform tobe liked? Which one of these things are you stilldoing today? Is it working?

8. How have cultural influences shaped yourscript? In your subculture was "beating the sys-tem" and "screwing others" the path to accept-ance? Is that what you are still doing today?

9. What happens to people like you? What doesyour intuition tell you your fate will be unlessyou change your approach to life? Do people likeyou wind up leading a fulfilling and rewardinglife? Or do they peak early, and live out the bal-ance of their careers in a purgatory of mediocrejobs? If your intuition indicates that your careerscript is negative, it is time for remedial action.

10. What will be an appropriate biographicalsketch of you when your life is completed? Willan objective observer say that you were a niceperson who never made waves, and was nevernoticed? Will you be described as a callous, un-forgiving person who provided no comfort toanybody else? Or will you be described as sometype of winner? If you don't like your biograph-ical sketch, you will have to change your script. 9

Exercising Conscious Control

Scripts are formed by a series of decisions madeearly in life. To change a script, it is therefore ne-cessary to make redecisions. If you change yourthinking, your feelings, or your behavior, you arein essence changing your script decisions. This isno easy task, but after you have examined yourscript much of the important work is alreadydone.

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To exercise conscious control over your script,you have to exert the rational, problem-solvingpart of your brain. Feelings and intuition are notcast aside, but they become secondary players tothe mature and responsible (or adult) part of yourbrain. Evelyn, the technician who played com-puter blackjack on company time, can learn tocensor her own behavior. She might say silently,"I've had enough close brushes with permanentlyruining my career. The next time I have the im-pulse to play a little trick on someone with au-thority over me, I'll grab hold of myself. I'llmake a trip to the copying machine just to cooldown. Or I'll call a friend and explain that I'vejust narrowly escaped committing self-sabotage.Then I'll congratulate myself. I'll put a capital Win my daily planner. It will signify that today I'veplayed out a winner script."

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3Inner Forces Creating Self-Sabotage

"Why me? Why do I always ruin a good thingfor myself? Why can't I get what I want?" Theperson who made these cries of anguish speaksfor all self-saboteurs in the work force. A majorhurdle in preventing or overcoming career self-sabotage is to become aware of the inner forcespropelling you toward creating your own careersetbacks. As you read the cases here, carefullyexamine self-defeating behavior as it relates toyour career. In this chapter, I describe twelve ofthe most common inner traps that goad people toself-sabotage.

Self-Defeating Personality

The simplest explanation for career self-sabotageis that some people suffer from a personality thatfosters defeat. According to psychologists Tho-mas A. Widiger and Allen J. Frances, peoplewith a self-defeating personality pattern havethree distinguishing characteristics: (1) They re-peatedly fail at tasks they have the ability to per-form; (2) they repeatedly place themselves in ab-usive and destructive situations to which they re-spond helplessly; (3) they typically refuse to takeadvantage of escape routes, even when these arereadily available. 1

People with self-defeating personalities often failas managers because they wittingly or unwit-tingly find a way to lower productivity and mor-ale. By so doing they bring about the self-

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The Twelve Most Common Inner Traps

1. Self-defeating personality. Some people have a personality predisposed to self-sabot-age.

2. Narcissism. An exaggerated sense of your importance can get you into trouble.

3. Emotional immaturity. Seeking attention in an immature way can hurt your career.

4. Self-defeating beliefs. Expecting to fail brings about failure.

5. Unrealistic expectations. Expecting too much brings about failure.

6. Compensation for feelings of inadequacy. Feeling bad about yourself can propel youinto doing things that harm your career.

7. Revenge. Seeking revenge can backfire.

8. Attention seeking. Wanting to be noticed at all costs can be self-defeating.

9. Thrill seeking. Craving constant excitement and thrills may defeat your own purposes.

10. Imposter complex. Believing that you are a hoax can be stressful.

11. Paranoia. Being suspicious of so many people diverts your energy from more creat-ive tasks.

12. Mid-life crisis. Being discontent with your accomplishments can lead to counterpro-ductive patterns of behavior.

imposed misery that feeds their disorder. Observe carefully the self-defeating elements inthis scenario:

After many years as a sales representative, Jim Avery was promoted to a management position in asmall branch office of a multinational corporation. The promotion was largely the result of the act-ive lobbying of a senior manager in the corporation who had become a father figure to Jim. As asales representative, Jim was moderately successful, largely because of his frantic activity in push-ing a good product. His work always came before his health and his home life. Jim had been di-vorced twice and suffered from heart disease. Although he had a hearty, backslapping type of ap-proach, some of his customers disliked his pushiness and impatience. For instance, he would callcustomers needlessly two or three times between regular sales

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visits, largely because of an unfounded worry thathe might lose a customer in the interim.

The new opportunity was Jim's first position withmanagerial responsibility, and he brought to itwhat appeared to be enthusiasm and energy butwhat was really high anxiety. Things wentsmoothly enough for him at first, except forchronic turnover problems among his small sec-retarial staff. When questioned about this, Jimwould claim that he could not keep experiencedsupport personnel in his area at the salary levelthat he was allowed to pay. His employees wouldbegin their new jobs with apparent competenceand enthusiasm, but he claimed that they soon be-came resentful at having to do so much work forso little money. He fired one after another of themfor abusing their sick time, becoming lax in theirduties, developing poor work attitudes, and beinginsubordinate.

After three years of badgering the home office,Jim finally received a larger budget for his secret-arial staff. Unfortunately, the first secretary hiredat the new salary level followed the same down-hill pattern as the others. She finally quit beforebeing fired, blowing the whistle on her boss onthe way out.

It seems that Jim was driving his secretaries todistraction with his insecurity, which showed upas anxiety and dependency. Given the wider arrayof responsibilities in his new position, he had lostthe ability to focus on the business at hand, toplan for the office, and to organize himself andhis work. His staff had to manage his calendar, re-minding him of appointments and making ex-cuses for him when he missed them. They wouldspend frantic days at the end of each month tak-ing care of reports that he had failed to keep cur-rent.

Jim was also emotionally dependent on his staff.At first they responded soothingly and reassur-ingly to his constant anxiety-laden chatter; theirprotective and nurturing behavior, however, even-tually gave way to resentment and hostility. Theyseemed to be running the office, yet their salarieswere pitiful.

Jim's insecurity and dependency caused onlyminor problems when he was a sales representat-ive. When he became a manager, however, thesetraits became more pronounced. To make mattersworse, he no longer had the on-site support of hismentor. The organization overlooked the staffingturmoil because production, though erratic, wasslowly increasing at the branch office. In addition,Jim's mentor protected him at staff meetings.

After Jim's third year in his new position, produc-tion began to fall at the branch office. Still no onelooked too closely at Jim because his mentor con-tinued to protect him. Finally, after a mass resig-nation of his secretarial staff that brought the of-fice to a standstill, Jim's behavior was investig-ated.

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As a result, he was brought back to the home of-fice and given a minor administrative position.

The extent of the damage became clear only whenthe replacement manager tried to repair it. JimAvery had offended so many people in the busi-ness community that it took two years before theoffice returned to the level it had been before Jimtook over. 2

So far, Jim's self-defeating actions have resultedin a squandered opportunity and a demotion, nota complete career collapse. Similarly, many otherself-defeating personalities stay employed, al-though they don't work up to their full potential.Jim Avery showed some of the more subtle signsof a person with a self-defeating personality dis-order. His neglect of his health and personal lifemay not have been mandated by his position. In-stead, he chose to take an unbalanced approachto work and personal responsibilities. Many salesrepresentatives are able to integrate the demandsof work and family life.

An excessive firing of employees is a riskycourse of action for any manager. It is all themore risky when the people are fired for whim-sical reasons. Jim fired workers for failing tomeet ambiguous expectations. A more sensibleoption for him would have been to first clarifywork objectives with his employees. Jim's in-tense emotional dependency on his mentor andstaff is another tipoff to his personality problem,as is his falling behind on reports (though manypeople procrastinate who have only mild tenden-cies toward self-sabotage).

How could Jim have been helped? In fairness tohim, the organization must share some of theblame. Jim's personality was ill-suited to mana-gerial work, and he lacked the appropriate exper-ience. A higher-ranking manager in his chain ofcommand should have assessed Jim's needs fordevelopment as a manager. He was left to sink orswim, and the organization did not intervenesoon enough while he was sinking.

If Jim had had insight into the nature of self-de-feating behavior, he might have recognized thathis dependency was a trouble spot. Some of thisinsight can be achieved through what you are be-ing asked to do herecarefully examine self-de-feating behavior as it relates to your career. Jimwas overly dependent on alcohol, his mentor,and his staff. He needed the protection and nur-turing

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of his employees. Yet following the script of aself-defeating personality, he treated his staff soharshly that it resulted in his losing their support.

Narcissism

People who engage in excessive self-admirationare usually headed toward career self-sabotage.Typically the narcissist wants adoration and lovefrom others. People become narcissists, accord-ing to Freudian theory, because they did not re-ceive enough love and nurturing early in life.They therefore crave affection. The narcissisticworker becomes self-centered in the pursuit ofthese unmet infantile needs. As a manager, a nar-cissist will typically be overagreeable. Whenconfronted by the anger or disapproval of a sub-ordinate, a ''yes-manager" will submit to most re-quests in order to be liked and adored.

As explained by researcher Seth Allcorn, we allwant to be liked and admired by others. Yes-managers crave this so much, however, that toavoid alienating others they submit rather thanstand firm. 3 Saying yes when the answer shouldbe no is an expression of narcissism because themanager submits to the demands of others in or-der to be adored.

A yes-manager may be seen by some as good,caring, and responsive to their needs. Others, es-pecially superiors, may perceive the same man-ager as unable to make tough decisions and toowilling to sacrifice organizational objectives toavoid being rejected.

Shirley, a manager of inventory control, sym-pathized with her team members when they com-plained of all the regulations that had to be fol-lowed in order to implement a just-in-time in-ventory system. "You know how those bureau-crats are in the front office," she said in responseto complaints from below.

When Shirley's boss asked why the new invent-ory control system was taking so long to imple-ment, Shirley answered, "It's those free spiritsworking for me. They resist rules and regulationswith a passion. But not to worry, they are slowlycoming around." Shirley was deliberately two-faced in her attempt to be admired and appreci-ated by her subordinates and superiors,

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alike. Her waffling was prompted by an inner de-sire to avoid either group's withdrawing its loveand affection.

If you are waffling or overly agreeable, it couldbe a sign that you have fallen into the narcissismtrap. Learn to recognize that few people can holda responsible job and not be disliked bysomeone. Practice taking a stand on an importantwork issue. Observe the consequences. Mostlikely they will not be as severe as you imagined.

The need to feel loved is closely associated witha need to feel important and powerful. A narciss-ist may conduct work in a manner that attractsundeserved attention, and may even resort to de-valuing others as a way of looking better. In thisway the yes-manager soon becomes an organiza-tional problem. Basing a decision on how well itpleases another person rather than on the meritsof the case is also a problem.

Although narcissism stems from early childhood,its impact can be controlled with self-discipline.If you are candid enough to admit that you cravelove, affection, and adoration on the job, do notexpect total satisfaction of these needs. Instead,try to satisfy them in a few limited situations.Find one or two coworkers, customers, or suppli-ers who are looking to provide such emotionalsupport and warmth to a work associate.

Confine your obvious attempts at winning ad-miration to those one or two people. In addition,find constructive ways of obtaining the adulationof others by, for example, winning a productivityaward. Another way is to do the best possible jobfor anybody who uses your work output. Provid-ing extraordinary service to a customer, client, orperson from another department can result inyour receiving a measure of adoration.

Emotional Immaturity

Fun and humor on the job have been elevated toa higher status than ever before. Many compan-ies hire humor consultants to advise them onhow to effectively use humor and fun to increaseproductivity and morale, and to reduce conflictand stress. Effective use of humor in the work-place is therefore an asset, enhancing a person'shuman relations skills. Office clowns, however,

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use humor more to obtain the attention theycrave than to improve organizational effective-ness. They crave this attention because of theiremotional immaturity. Some people do laughwith the office clown, but carrying out this roleis a form of career sabotage. Few office clownswork their way into the executive suite.

Early in life Mark was an underachiever and un-happy. He fared poorly in his studies and in ath-letics, and was unable to penetrate any clique ofinterest to him. Mark's solution to his lonelinesswas to become the class clown. It was Mark whoresponded with quips to questions posed by theteacher. It was also Mark who tested the limits towhich he could use profanity and vulgar expres-sions before being disciplined by the teacher.

Mark completed a two-year college program, im-proved his grades over those he had attained inhigh school, and then attended a four-year col-lege. He majored in accounting, primarily be-cause he could not think of anything else that in-terested him. While in college, and while holdingdown part-time and temporary work, Mark con-tinued to gain attention through clowning. Atgraduation ceremonies, he wore fishing boots thatdrew a laugh from the audience as he walkedacross the stage.

Mark's relationships with women were limited be-cause he rarely progressed beyond three weeks ofdating any one person. After several weeks ofknowing Mark, most women tired of his pranksand quips. He sent one woman he was dating intohysterics when he showed up at her door with anylon stocking tightly drawn over his face, and ahunting knife in his right hand.

As graduation approached, Mark conducted a jobsearch. He behaved in a manner sober enough tolocate a position as a budget analyst with a fur-niture manufacturer, a position he held for fiveyears. Withon one month of his first full-time pro-fessional position, Mark established himself asthe office clown. He was the one who wouldjump out of a supply closet, insert a nude center-fold into an annual report in the office lobby, andwear a rubber mask of Richard Nixon to the of-fice.

A vacancy occurred for an assistant manager pos-ition in Mark's department. Despite Mark's repu-tation as a joker, his manager thought Mark's ex-perience and technical skills justified at least in-terviewing him for the position. When asked,"Why do you want this position?" Mark quipped,"It beats working." End of interview. End of Markbeing considered for advanced responsibility.

Mark's emotional immaturity has already sabot-aged his career and personal life. If he wants toprevent further damage,

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Mark needs to pursue two courses of action. Atthe surface level, he must learn to present him-self in a more professional way. He can still usehumor, but in a more mature and refined manner.

At a deeper level, Mark must question why heneeds to be a clown. He must ask himself thebrutal question, "What else can I do for attentionat this stage in my life aside from acting like afool?" Mark might strive for the attention and re-spect of his coworkers by presenting a dazzlinganalysis of costs on a project. He could also usehis creativity to make a witty and clever com-ment, rather than saying something outrageousand tasteless.

If you are attempting to obtain attention and re-cognition in an immature manner, shift gears andlook for a more constructive way to satisfy thoseneeds. Instead of joking about a problem facingyour company, propose a creative solution.

Self-Defeating Beliefs

A 1987 article that appeared in The Wall StreetJournal claims that a widespread cause of self-sabotage is having erroneous beliefs that createthe conditions of failure. These self-defeating be-liefs are more specific than self-fulfilling proph-ecies, which deal generally with our expectationsas to whether we or others will succeed or fail.Job hunting is one area in which self-defeatingbeliefs contribute directly to sabotage. 4

Some people sabotage their job campaigns be-fore even starting. They think to themselves: "Ilack the right experience," "I'm not sharpenough," ''I'm too old," "I'm too young," "I don'thave charisma," "I didn't graduate from an eliteschool," and so forth. If you attempt a job searchwith one of these self-defeating beliefs, you willeliminate yourself from half your potential inter-views and will be perceived negatively in thebalance.

The antidote is to challenge your beliefs. What isyour evidence for believing that your qualifica-tions are inferior? Search for reasons why a pro-spective employer would want you, even withyour supposed limitations. Even if some of yourbeliefs are valid, such as that you lack the rightexperience for a particular job, you can still qual-ify for the job. Emphasize fundamental attributessuch as problem-solving ability, interpersonalskills,

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and varied experience that would be a plus foryou in any position.

Negative thoughts about one's capacity to learnnew skills can also be self-defeating, and theycan block new opportunities. An office assistantsaid that she was upset because she would neverbe able to become an executive assistant in hercompany. Asked how she had arrived at that con-clusion, she said, "I could never learn to do anelectronic spreadsheet." Asked further if she hadever tried to learn how to do a spreadsheet, shesaid, "No, because I know I would fail." Finally,she was urged to take home a Lotus 1-2-3 manu-al for the weekend, and take her time learning afew basic commands.

The office assistant returned to the officeMonday morning in a triumphant mood, havingmade considerable progress in learning Lotus.The reality of her ability to learn somethingabout spreadsheets on her own helped dispel hernegative beliefs. A year later she was promotedto an executive assistant.

A strange twist to self-defeating beliefs is thatpositive beliefsnot just negative onescan alsocontribute to career sabotage. Incorrect percep-tions of one's skills as being superior can lead tosubstandard performance. If enough of thesepoor performances accumulate, career sabotageis in the offing. Managers with inflated self-as-sessments of their knowledge may fail to requestassistance. Similarly, their failure to properly useneeded assistance on a given problem can resultin even larger problems. 5

A prominent example is the decision-making er-rors made by NASA officials leading up to theexplosion of the space shuttle Challenger and thedeaths of seven crew members. The expertise forthe proper decision was available but ignored.(In addition to inflated estimates of their know-ledge, NASA managers felt pressured to get alaunch accomplished on time.) Several engineerson the project strongly recommended against alaunch attempt in abnormally cold weather, espe-cially because they had reason for believing theO-rings would not function properly in thoseconditions.

The three examples of self-defeating beliefs justgiven point to one of the most important prin-ciples for preventing career self-sabotage.Sharpen the accuracy of your perceptions by ob-taining valid feedback at checkpoints of yourown choosing. Ask an

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experienced human resources professional, "AmI as poorly qualified for my contemplated jobsearch as I think I am?" Review your thinking ona project with a knowledgeable person in yourfield, and ask, "Is my logic as tight as I think itis? What facts should I pursue that have notalready entered into my decision making?"

Unrealistic Expectations

Many people's goals, aspirations, and expecta-tions are so high that they predispose themselvesto unhappiness and defeat. Suppose a womanwho enters the work force as a personnel assist-ant establishes the goal of becoming the vice-president of human resources for a major busi-ness corporation. She is so set on becoming avice-president that she defines failure as notreaching that goal by the time she is 40. Becauseher chances of achieving her goal are perhapsone in a thousand, this woman will most likelyexperience defeat of her own choosing. If her as-pirations were less grandiose, such as becomingthe human resources manager of a medium-sizecompany, her chances for "winning" would besubstantially higher.

There is a subtle difference between having un-realistic expectations and having goals thatstretch our capabilities. It is good to stretch one'scapabilities, but it is hurtful to be crushed if thevery-difficult-to-attain is not forthcoming. Mapout a realistic approach to reaching your idealgoals, but be prepared to achieve less.

Aspirations for a high income can directly pre-cipitate self-destructive behavior. A case in pointis Gordie.

At a young age, Gordie wanted to be self-em-ployed and wealthy. He chose self-employment asthe road to riches because he preferred not to con-tinue his formal education beyond high school.Gordie had become proficient at repairing and re-finishing automobiles, and decided to turn hisavocation into a vocation.

Lacking the capital to start his own business,Gordie sold his friend Rick on the idea of theirbecoming partners in an automotive collisionshop. The two of them opened G&R Collision,specializing in the painting and

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restoration of automobiles. Using all the moneythey could scrape up, Gordie and Rick leased aspace and bought enough equipment to get thebusiness into operation.

Gordie and Rick lost money the first two yearsand had to borrow to keep the business going.Gordie believed that his hopes and dreams ofmaking good money had vanished. In contrast,Rick was confident that the business would suc-ceed. Based on the high quality of their work, re-peat business and referrals were starting to mater-ialize. During the third year, the business brokeeven.

Gordie meanwhile became frustrated with work-ing so hard at a business that provided him only amodest income. A chance discussion with aflashy customer got Gordie started in purchasingdrugs from the customer and reselling them toother customers. The revenues from drug salesquickly outpaced the revenues from painting andrestorations. Gordie was not making the kind ofmoney he had hoped for when he opened the col-lision shop. He sold his half of the business sothat he could deal drugs full time, using the con-tacts he made at the shop as a customer base.

Gordie's days of high earnings did not last long.He was convicted of drug dealing, and is nowserving ten years in prison. Ironically, Rick keptthe business and it is now highly profitable. Thedrug trafficking actually helped business by giv-ing the collision shop something of a mystique. 6

Gordie's behavior went beyond career self-sabot-age to self-destruction. He may well find sometype of work in the body shop upon release fromprison, but his earnings will probably nevercome close to satisfying his original aspirations.The tragedy is that Gordie's impatience promp-ted him to discard his most likely chance for sus-tained career successoperating a business inwhich he had a comparative advantage.

If Gordie had secured valid information abouthow long it takes most proprietorships to gener-ate a large cash flow, he might have lowered hisaspirations for immediate financial success. In-stead, he allowed his unrealistic aspirations toprompt him to choose a path of career self-de-struction.

Compensation for Feelings of Inadequacy

People who feel inadequate sometimes seekways of making themselves feel adequate thatprove to be self-defeating. A feeling

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of inadequacy might therefore be considered yetanother self-defeating belief. However, it iswidespread enough to warrant special mention.Feelings of inadequacy lead people to think theycannot compete equally with others because theyare handicapped.

Feelings of inadequacy may sometimes drivepeople to play office politics in an obsequiousmanner that is self-defeating in the long run.Such is the case with Fred.

A middle manager in a large corporation, Fred isworried that he is not a big enough contributor tobe considered valuable. He thinks he could besqueezed out in the next company retrenchment.Fred's reasoning is not totally unfounded. He isfar from being considered a fast tracker. Instead,his superiors and co-workers rate him as an aver-age performer. He makes few major mistakes, buthe does not come forth with major contributionseither.

Fred has a lifelong pattern of worrying aboutwhether he is performing well. As a youngster,while playing Little League baseball, he wouldoften glance at the coach for a sign of approvalthat he had made the right play. In college, Fredfrequently asked his professors if he might submita preliminary draft of a paper to determine if hehad understood the assignment correctly.

Fred's job insecurities are best revealed throughhis use of body language in contacts with his bossand higher-ranking managers. During a staffmeeting, Fred nods approval and smiles wheneverhis boss speaks. To Fred, the boss is always right.A co-worker commented that Fred nods morevigorously and smiles wider in proportion to theimportance and power of the person speaking. Incontrast, he usually remains expressionless whena peer or lower-ranking employee speaks.

Fred's immediate boss, soon annoyed with his in-sincere smiles and nods, asked Fred why he nod-ded with approval at almost everything a managersaid. Fred's smile turned to a worrisome expres-sion. He explained: "I don't think I give approvalto everything. But it certainly is a good policy toagree with management. If your own subordinatesdon't agree with you, who will? I'm here to backyou up, not tear you down. And one way I canprove that is by showing my appreciation for yourwords of wisdom. When you or your managersays something that I think is unsound, you'll hearfrom me. Do you understand my reasoning?"

In truth, Fred never would express disagreementwith a boss. He is too insecure to be anything buta yes-person. Fred's form

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of office politics has become almost a reflex ac-tion. When he spots a person of higher rank, hisbrain sends a message to his body to express ap-proval. Until Fred becomes a more confidentperson, he will probably continue to practice hisnaive form of office politics.

In the long run, his attempts at ingratiation willbe self-defeating. His unwillingness to approveco-workers' ideas is in sharp contrast to his ap-proval of the words of those above him. Becauseof this Janus-like tactic, Fred is on the way tolosing the confidence of his co-workersa fatalmistake in any team effort. Somehow Fred has toassess his strengths, appreciate them, and stopbehaving so inadequately. A good starting pointfor someone suffering from feelings of inad-equacy is to prepare a list of personal assets. Thisbasic tactic often has surprising results. It getspeople to begin thinking positively about them-selves.

Revenge

"Don't get mad, get even" is the advice forpeople who are wronged. The problem with thisadvice is that getting even is a form of revenge,driven by anger. Because revenge usually has thesame emotional intensity as envy and jealousy, itcan be self-defeating. Witness the actions ofCaryn:

Caryn was the senior secretary to the regionalvice-president of an insurance company, a posi-tion she had for six years. In Caryn's contactswith other regional offices she discovered that hercounterparts had been promoted to administrativeassistants. Caryn wanted to be an administrativeassistant because the position would give hermore status, salary, and vacation time. She ap-proached Dana, her boss, and requested a promo-tion to administrative assistant.

Dana liked the idea, and asked Caryn to draft ajob description that would increase her level ofresponsibilities, including work on special assign-ments. Dana reviewed the description with Caryn,contacted central personnel, and secured the re-classification. Despite the reclassification, Caryncould not understand why Dana was placing moredemands on her time and requesting that she ac-complish more things independently. Dana in turncould not understand why Caryn was blocking hisrequests because it was she who had asked for thepromotion.

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Caryn would openly complain, "What good is itto be an administrative assistant, and get more va-cation time? Every time I turn around, Dana hassome new project for me. I never get to take thevacation time I have." Caryn soon began bad-mouthing Dana. She would answer his calls andsay such things as, "I don't know where Dana is.He never tells me anything anymore."

Caryn's disgruntlement continued, and shestopped providing Dana with the information shewas supposed to. Twice when Dana asked her toset up a meeting at a designated time, she neglec-ted to inform the people who were supposed to at-tend. When Dana returned after waiting futilelyfor the others, Caryn denied telling Dana that shehad set up the meeting.

On one occasion Caryn scheduled several peopleto meet with Dana, but did not tell him about ituntil the last minute, when a group suddenly ap-peared at his office. Caryn insisted to Dana, "Itold you this meeting was scheduled. Don't youlisten to me anymore?" Her rhetorical questionwas asked in front of the guests who had arrivedfor the meeting.

Caryn insisted that all information sent to Danahad to be reviewed by her first. Even itemsstamped CONFIDENTIAL were plucked fromDana's inbox and reviewed. Caryn would thenopenly pass judgment on the contents. Once shetold a manager reporting to Dana that a promotionfor one of her people would most certainly be ap-proved by Dana. Yet Dana had not yet read the re-quest.

One day the company president called Dana, andCaryn took the opportunity to describe Dana's in-ability to run his operation. Upon speaking toDana, the president said, "Muzzle her or fire her. Idon't care which." Later that day, Dana confron-ted Caryn: "Ever since your promotion, you per-formance and attitude have deteriorated. Worseyet, your loyalty to me and the organization hasvanished. You wanted a promotion to administrat-ive assistant. You wanted all the advantages thatwent along with the position.

Two things you didn't take into account. First, inorder to attain that level, we expected a highercaliber of work. Not only did you not give us that,your performance deteriorated. Second, your con-stant harping about my work amounts to insubor-dination. I am recommending that you be de-moted to an entry-level position in the word-pro-cessing center. After one year of good perform-ance, you may reapply for the position of seniorsecretary.

Caryn's attempt to harm the company and herboss for their treatment of her was obviouslyself-defeating. Blinded by thoughts of revengefor the greater demands being placed on her,Caryn became derelict in her responsibilities.Caryn should have

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approached Dana openly (they had worked to-gether for six years) and explained the sources ofher discontent. If necessary, she could quietlyhave reverted to the less demanding position shehad held previously and worked hard to receivean above-average salary increase.

As with so many people caught up in a strongemotion, Caryn did not listen to her co-workers.Upon hearing of her discontent, they suggestedthat she discuss the issue with her boss. Her re-sponse was laced with self-sabotage: "He wantedme promoted. It's up to him to make it work." 7

If you are caught in a situation in which your jobexpectations are profoundly frustrated, take con-structive rather than self-defeating action. Con-front the problem with the source of your frustra-tion instead of seeking revenge through insubor-dination. Recognize also that you may have totake major responsibility for resolving the prob-lem even though your boss shares some of theblame. In the case just reviewed, for instance,Dana was also at fault for virtually ignoringCaryn's actions until she voiced a complaint tothe president. Dana's insensitivity would havebeen self-defeating if the president had takenCaryn's complaints seriously.

Attention Seeking

Frank is addicted to attention. He needs a gooddeal of it to ward off negative feelings such asloneliness, depression, and anxiety. As with manyother attention addicts, the ways in which heseeks attention may lead to career self-sabotage.Since childhood, he has consciously and uncon-sciously developed methods for gaining attention.When he receives enough attention, he feels re-laxed and confident for a while, but as soon as thehigh wears off he craves more attention.

Frank would prefer to receive positive attention,but for him even negative attention is better thanbeing ignored. He really doesn't care what peopleare thinking and saying about him so long as theyare thinking and saying something. Frank canprovoke three types of attention at work, and eachtype presents its own set of problems.

Frank requires positive attention. He needs to feelthat people think he is competent, if not outstand-ing. In order to elicit positive attention from hispeers, Frank brags about his accomplishmentseven it means stretching the

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truth. He dramatizes his contributions to success-ful projects and downplays the contributions ofhis co-workers. He typically speaks loudly so thatothers are forced to hear him. And he hopes theywill conclude that he is intelligent and witty.Frank likes to be one up on people. Whensomeone makes a humorous comment, he at-tempts to add an even funnier twist. Whensomeone contributes an innovative idea, Frank at-tempts to surpass the other person's creativity.

When positive attention is not available, he willseek supportive attention. He presents himself toco-workers as someone who is suffering andneeds immediate attention. He may talk aboutfamily problems, health problems, or concernsabout job burnout.

At other times Frank must settle for negative at-tention. He prompts negative attention by suchmeans as arriving late to meetings, interruptingthe conversations of others by talking loudly onthe phone, or making intrusive comments such as,"Why isn't anybody smiling? Are we going out ofbusiness?" Other tactics for eliciting negative at-tention include disagreeing with a plan of actionwhen consensus is almost at hand, failing to un-derstand a point that everyone else grasps, andinitiating conflict when everyone else is commu-nicating peacefully.

Frank needs to understand that his intense needfor attention is creating an effect the very oppos-ite of the one he desires. Frank's fantasy is that,when he leaves a room, people will make com-ments such as, "What a great guy Frank is." Infact they are more likely to say, "I detest thatguy," and "Why doesn't somebody do somethingabout that character?" 8

Frank must understand that people who havehigh self-esteem can function well without con-tinual assurance from others that they are won-derful. People who are not self-saboteurs learn todepend on themselves for some of the attentionthey need. Although every successful personwants some attention from others, the healthierones know they are competent and are thereforenot so dependent on others for positive feedback.

I can imagine readers thinking, "Yes, Frankneeds to understand what he is doing wrong, justas a gambling addict needs to understand thatwaging bets is ruining his or her life." The recov-ery process presented here works like this. As-sume that you are an attention seeker of Frank'smagnitude. You read this and think to yourself,"Frank's problem could possibly fit me." You so-licit feedback from a knowledgeable person,such as a trusted co-worker or a former boss. Thefeedback you receive is that you

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are indeed an attention seeker. You attempt tomonitor your behavior using your own resources.If the problem is not solved, you seek profes-sional counseling.

The problem with seeking attention in inappro-priate ways can usually be overcome through acombination of feedback and self-monitoring ofbehavior. Many forms of self-sabotage can behandled similarly.

Thrill Seeking

Certain high-profile people, in business as wellas in other endeavors, are high-risk takers andadventurers. They seek excitement and stimula-tion whenever they can find or create it. The ex-citement of making deals is often more importantthan the money involved. Donald Trump is butone of many professional deal makers whoclaims to be driven more by the thrill of thechase than by the money his deals generate.When his deals fail, he is understandably emo-tionally deflated.

Excessive thrill seeking can sabotage one's ca-reer, because the craving for thrills may overtakegood business judgment. Trump is the best publi-cized example of a deal maker whose obsessivepursuit of excitement created cash-flow prob-lems for his financial empire. Self-defeatingthrill seeking also takes place at more modestlevels.

Bill developed a reputation as a computer hacker.At college he was constantly playing around withthe system software and would experiment withcomputers during most of his spare time. Betweenhis junior and senior year, Bill obtained an intern-ship at a major government contracting firm. Hisinternship was to last six months.

During the first several months of his internshipBill performed so well that his supervisor decidedto grant him password privileges. Bill was expli-citly told, however, that the company was a gov-ernment contractor, and that he was to stay clearof anything that was not directly in his domain ofwork.

As part of a security check, management becameaware that security had been compromised on ahighly sensitive project. Tracing back through thesystem log files (which had been altered to con-ceal who had been manipulating the file system),the company determined that Bill was the sourceof the security leak. When confronted by manage-ment, Bill initially

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denied any involvement with the security breach.When shown the convincing evidence againsthim, Bill admitted to the violation.

Bill was immediately dismissed from the com-pany. In lieu of pressing charges against him, thecompany coordinated its disciplinary efforts withBill's school. Because Bill was an intern, and nota permanent employee, his school handled thediscipline. The decision was made to suspend Billfrom school for eighteen months. His reputationis now severely tarnished, and Bill wonderswhether he will be able to find employment incomputer science in the future. 9

Bill's tampering with the government computerfiles was driven by the thrills he receives fromhacking. No monetary gain was possible becausethe files were not tied in with bank accounts orother funds. The antidote for Bill and other hack-ers, financial deal makers, and miscellaneouscorporate thrill seekers is to question whetherchasing thrills is more important than gettinghonest work accomplished. If the answer is no,thrill seeking on the job can be supplemented bypursuing thrills off the job. With ample outsidethrills, there is less need for thrill seeking on thejob.

Off-the-job thrills should be chosen carefully toavoid physical self-destruction. Hang gliding,auto racing, and ski jumping may not qualify assatisfactory sublimations. Safer sports, safe sex,and legal gambling (with outer limits set) arehighly recommended for thrill seekers. The anti-dote suggested here is not universally applicable.Some corporate thrill seekers are already pursu-ing high-intensity thrills off the job, includingpersonal relationships and community work. Allthey can hope for is to learn how to monitor theirthrill seeking to minimize the chances of self-sabotage.

Unfortunately the remedial action just prescribedmay not help all thrill seekers. Some people seekthrills to fight off depression. Only by revving upthe pace of their lives can they feel happy. Inthese cases they may need counseling and/or an-tidepressant medication to lead a happy lifewithout constant thrills.

Imposter Complex

''I really don't deserve all the accolades I'm re-ceiving. I'm not nearly as competent as mostpeople believe. If my incompetence

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is ever discovered, it will all be over for me."Such is the thinking of large numbers of compet-ent people in diverse fields who suffer from animposter complex. These people, according toPauline Clance in The Imposter Phenomenon,secretly believe that they have been overestim-ated, and that at any moment the truth aboutthem will be revealed. The imposter complex canbe regarded as another type of self-defeating be-lief. An estimated 70 percent of all successful in-dividuals suffer from this complex. 10

The vast majority of people with an impostercomplex are consistently high achievers on thejob, and therefore are not sabotaging their ca-reers. For a small minority of these people,however, fears about being an imposter triggerpsychosomatic disorders and emotional trauma.Personal relationships are the first to suffer, fol-lowed by some decline in work performance.

In a few instances, the imposter complex canlead to self-defeating job behavior. The personwith a strongly developed imposter complexmight feel so guilty about being a "fraud" that heor she will engage in self-sabotage as a means ofself-punishment. An executive might make irra-tional decisions as a way of proving that he doesnot deserve the position.

People often overcome the imposter complexthrough psychotherapy, self-help groups, and un-derstanding friends. Therapist Janice Castro alsosuggests to her patients with an imposter com-plex that they remember a cogent observation byW. Somerset Maugham: "Only a mediocre per-son is always at his (or her) best."11

If you experience the imposter complex it is timefor personal thought control. Work hard to over-come the self-defeating idea that you are notworthy of your successes. Answering these ques-tions will help you put your thinking in perspect-ive:

Who does deserve success?

Are other successful people any more deservingthan I?

Don't most successful people get a few goodbreaks along the way?

Since I didn't award myself the symbols of suc-cess, such as high income, nice title, and soforth, why shouldn't I let others judge whether ornot I deserve my success?

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Nobody else achieved my successes for me, soshouldn't I take most of the credit for them?

Paranoia

Being paranoid often fosters career self-sabot-age. The energy invested in checking outpeople's motives and wondering if co-workersare trying to do you in detracts from a creative,positive approach to the job. Furthermore, aparanoid manager is usually a poor leader be-cause group members realize they are not trus-ted.

Paranoia aptly illustrates how self-fulfillingprophecies can contribute to career self-sabotage.Paranoid individuals think co-workers are out todestroy them. Based on this erroneous belief,they act defensively and secretly around col-leagues. Because of their strange behavior, co-workers do shun contact with them and fail tocooperate. Not surprisingly, the paranoid per-son's performance evaluation suffers. He or sheis judged to be a poor team worker. Thus theparanoid person's suspicions are confirmed.

To prevent career self-sabotage, paranoid peopleneed frequent reality checks on their perceptions.Such checks are difficult to obtain because para-noid thinking prevents these people from trustingmost associates enough to confide in them.However, if the paranoia is not too deeply en-trenched, such reality checks are possible.

Paul, a management consultant, felt that the twoother members of his unit distrusted and dislikedhim. Worried about his ability to perform underthese circumstances, Paul discussed the issue withhis boss.

The boss said he would gently inquire into howthe other consultants in the unit felt about Paul.The feedback obtained by the boss was quitehelpful to Paul. The boss said, "My sense is thatthe other people in the group want to get to knowyou better. They think you have a lot of talent, butthey wish you were not so withdrawn from them."Paul took the initiative to communicate moreopenly with the other consultants and in this wayovercame his suspiciousness.

If you think others are treating you unfairly, orare out to trip you up, run a reality check. Talk-ing over your concerns with

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your boss, a human resources professional, or anoutside consultant could help place things inproper perspective.

Mid-Life Crisis

Although in recent years most people have beenmore concerned about career survival than aboutmid-life crisis, it can still be a real problem. Thecrisis occurs when there is a gap between whatyou hoped would happen to your life and whathas actually occurred. People who experience amid-life crisis have a feeling of discontent andunhappiness about their jobs and careers. Theyfeel trapped, and believe that they lack a signific-ant challenge.

People who aren't content with their achieve-ments in their careers or personal lives at mid-life can become sullen, unpredictable, and self-sabotaging. A former colleague describes the be-havior of David, a product manager, in responseto his mid-life crisis:

People who knew David gradually realized thathe was in trouble. It all seemed to begin with hisbeing passed over for a director position. He al-ways talked the company game and acted as if hewere the candidate in line for marketing vice-president. David went on a two-week vacationafter the announcement that somebody else wasgetting the job he wanted. To everyone's surprise,he returned a changed man.

First of all, his clothing was completely changed.He had dressed in a conversative, businesslikemanner before. Now he dressed flamboyantly,with an Italian flair. It looked as if he had boughta hairpiece. David was beginning to drink heavily,but he was not drunk outright at work. He savedhis heavy drinking for after hours and parties.

David became a dreadful waster of both his ownand other people's time. He was forever urgingsomeone to "escape this madness for a fewminutes and have a cup of coffee." A few peoplein the department would close their doors whenDavid approached. They did this because he inter-preted an open door as an invitation to enter thatoffice and stay for twenty minutes, chatting aboutnothing directly related to work.

David finally left the company when he inheritedsome money. He bought a small fishing tacklestore in Maine, which did poorly. His wife andchildren made the trip with him to Maine, butsoon returned home.

David allowed his dissatisfactions with his careerand personal life to drag him down. He was toosullen to realize that

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being discouraged with life is not a reason to en-gage in behavior that only intensifies the prob-lem. Many other people successfully reboundfrom a mid-life crisis. Often they accomplish itby bringing about constructive changes in theirlives. A new work assignment, a new hobby, anew joint interest with one's partner, a carefulscrutiny of the good things one has accom-plishedall these can help prevent mid-life con-cerns from being self-defeating.

If you think you might be experiencing a mid-ca-reer crisis, choose from among these action stepsto prevent your problem from becoming self-de-feating:

1. Take the problem seriously. Until you admitthat your lethargy, apathy, and indifference con-stitute a problem calling for action, the processof recovery will be blocked. Be honest withyourself.

2. Practice relaxation techniques. The mid-lifecrisis involves substantial stress, making it im-portant to use a stress-reduction technique on aregular basis. Among the most effective relaxa-tion techniques are moderate exercise, amplerest, and meditation.

3. Switch assignments. Quick, partial relief fromthe mid-career crisis can be obtained fromswitching work assignments. Even being as-signed to a temporary task force or project canboost your morale.

4. Develop realistic expectations. A basic causeof the mid-life crisis is expecting too much fromyour career. As opportunities for rapid promotioncontinue to shrink, more people will have tosettle for less dramatic career growth. Learn toderive happiness from growth within your job.

5. Improve your personal life. An improvementin your personal life won't cure a mid-life crisis,but it could make the problem more bearable.Improvement could come from revitalizing yourrelationship with your partner, finding a partnerif you don't have one, or making new, interestingfriends.

6. Try new activities. The more well-roundedyour life is, the more protected you are againstthe mid-life crisis. New

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activities might include hobbies, sports, servingyour community, or patronizing different restaur-ants.

7. Find a new career or a new job. For manysufferers of the mid-career crisis, the only realsolution is drastic, such as placing yourself in anew job or career. Of course, the new job or ca-reer has to contain more excitement than thepresent one.

8. Maintain a growing edge. Maintaining alifelong positive attitude toward self-develop-ment and self-improvement can help prevent amid-life crisis as well as other forms of careerself-sabotage. If you prevent yourself from goingstale, you keep a fresh perspective that will helpyou to avoid becoming sullen, bitter, and coun-terproductive.

In summary, be aware of inner forces propellingyou toward creating your own career setbacks.Among the traps described were being a self-de-feating personality, narcissism, holding self-de-feating beliefs, seeking revenge, thrill seeking,and paranoia. Avoiding or overcoming any ofthese traps requires careful self-analysis and fol-lowing some of the suggestions offered here.

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4Clear-Cut Forms of Self-Sabotage

"Why is George doing this to himself?" thoughtGeorge's boss. "Why is he late with this propos-al? A potential big customer is practically beg-ging us to become its supplier. Is George tryingto put us out of business? Is he trying to makemy life miserable? Or is George trying to gethimself fired?"

The third alternative considered by George's bossis probably the correct one. By being late with aproposal, George is doing severe damage to hisreputation as a professional sales consultant. Ge-orge may not be aware of his motives. Manypeople have to be shaken into recognizing thatthey are actively contributing to their career de-mise.

There are a number of actions, attitudes, and be-liefs that are readily detectable as forms of self-sabotage. Confronting yourself, co-workers,friends, or family members with these behaviorscould plant a seed for constructive change. Theseself-initiated, self-defeating actions, attitudes,and beliefs can often be reversed.

Procrastination

Procrastination is the leading form of self-sabot-age. Many people procrastinate so much at thestart of their careers that they never developmuch of a career to destroy. The worst offendersflunk out of college because of exams neverstudied for and papers never written or com-pleted only after the deadlines have passed.

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People with less crippling forms of procrastina-tion, such as George, do launch their careers. Butlater on they procrastinate so much that they loseout on big opportunities or incur the wrath oftheir bosses.

Almost everybody procrastinates some of thetime. Therefore, all procrastination is not self-de-feating. My concern here is with people whodelay action for no good reason and conse-quently put themselves at a serious competitivedisadvantage.

Why People Procrastinate

People delay doing important things, such as get-ting their documentation ready for a performancereview, because they want to screw up. Whetherthey realize it or not, they are trying to self-de-struct. Procrastination is career suicide in slowmotion. Procrastinating on one assignment willnot do you in, because people will tolerate such acommon foible. Yet a series of deadlines missedor projects never completed will ultimately ruinyour career.

Fear of being criticized or evaluated negativelyby others can also lead to procrastination. If youdelay submitting your input to the budget, youdelay having somebody criticize the accuracy ofyour work. If a researcher keeps polishing a re-search study instead of submitting it to a journal,the researcher can delay facing the rejection no-tice that is the routine response to about 80 per-cent of submissions in most fields.

Paradoxically, people also procrastinate becausethey fear success. Underlying their fear of suc-cess is that it will be accompanied by some dis-astrous effect, such as isolation or abandonment.An accountant who attended a workshop on timemanagement confessed to the group that shereally wanted to avoid being as successful as herfather. He became a chief financial officer of alarge corporation. As a top executive, he lostcontact with many of his friends. Few peopleoffered him emotional support any longer, prob-ably thinking he did not need their help.

Others fear success because of the added re-sponsibility that success may bring. Thesepeople talk about their grand ambitions, but inreality find substantial responsibility to be over-whelming. A quick way to avoid success is toprocrastinate.

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Alan, a human resources manager, was recruitedby an executive search consultant for considera-tion as a vice president of human resources. Alanclaimed that this was the great opportunity of hiscareer. After a series of extensive interviews, theclient made Alan the first choice for the position.Alan kept postponing accepting the offer until theclient finally offered the position to the second-choice candidate. Although Alan grumbled thatthe client was too impetuous, he was actually re-lieved to know that he would not be taking on somuch additional responsibility.

A straightforward reason for procrastinating is toavoid uncomfortable, overwhelming, or tedioustasks. A person who itemizes deductions mightdelay preparing his or her tax return for all thesereasons. Although wanting to avoid uncomfort-able, overwhelming, or tedious tasks may seemnormal, putting off such tasks can still take aheavy career toll. A tax consultant wound up inconsiderable legal trouble because she never gotaround to filing her own federal and state tax re-turns for three consecutive years. She boasted,"It will only take me two days to file my taxeswhen I've run out of extensions."

Finally, people often procrastinate as a way ofrebelling against being controlled. Procrastina-tion used in this way is a means of defying un-wanted authority. 1 Rather than submit to author-ity, the person thinks, "Nobody is going to tellme when I should get a presentation completed.I'll do it when I'm good and ready."

Overcoming Procrastination

Overcoming procrastination begins the momentyou recognize that your work goals are not beingachieved. Feedback from your boss often takescare of this point. The second thing to do inovercoming self-sabotaging procrastination is toraise your level of awareness of the problem.When you are not accomplishing enough to meetyour work goals, ask yourself if the problemcould be that you are procrastinating over somecrucial tasks. Be brutally honest with yourself. Ifyou are undecided as to whether you are procras-tinating, solicit the opinion of somebody elsewho is familiar with your work.

Many people have reduced the extent of theirprocrastination

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by calculating its cost. For example, what if youlose out on a promotion to another division be-cause you do not have your résumé updated intime? The cost of your procrastination would in-clude not only the difference in salary betweenyour present job and the promotion you wanted(at least consciously) but also the loss of poten-tial job satisfaction.

Another antidote to procrastination is to forceyourself to attack the uncomfortable, over-whelming, or tedious task. Forcing yourself isuseful in proving that the task is not as bad asyou initially perceived it to be. 2 Assume thatyou have accepted a new position but have notyet resigned from your present one because theact of resigning makes you uncomfortable. Set aspecific time to call your boss to schedule an ap-pointment. Force yourself further to show up forthe resignation meeting. After you break the icewith the statement, "I have something importantto tell you," the task will be much easier.

A standard way of reducing procrastination is todivide a project that seems overwhelming intosmall segments that are easier to cope with. Ifyour job calls for inspecting twenty locationswithin thirty days, begin by making dates to in-spect the two closest to home. Planning the jobbefore executing it also helps ease the pain. Inthis situation you would plan an itinerary beforestarting the inspections.

The thought of meeting a distant deadline isanxiety-provoking for many procrastinators, NeilFiore explains, because they envision having todo the whole job at once.3 If this is part of yourproblem, think in terms of starting rather than offinishing tasks. As with cutting a task down intomanageable chunks, the project facing you willappear less formidable. Starting becomes mucheasier when you begin with a first step such astaking out a new manila folder.

Deception and Lying

Kim worked as a dealer representative for a majoranimal feed supplier. Her job was to encouragedealers and wholesalers to purchase animal feedfrom her company. Kim traveled extensively inorder to cover her two-state territory. After threeyears of good performance, Kim was under con-sidera-

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tion for promotion to district manager, a positionin which she would supervise five sales represent-atives and receive an override on their sales.

An impatient and aggressive driver, Kim receivedthree speeding tickets in one year. She pleadedguilty but asked for leniency because her liveli-hood was dependent on driving. Fearful of losingher job, Kim chose not to tell her boss that her li-cense had been suspended. She continued fillingout her sales and other required weekly reports, asif she were physically covering her territory.Kim's deception went unnoticed during the entiremonth of her suspension.

Kim received her promotion and became the newmanager of the Southern Tier region. A new em-ployee was assigned to her old position. He foundout from one of the dealers that Kim had not vis-ited him during April and casually mentioned thisto Kim's boss during a visit to the regional office.Enraged at the deception, Kim's boss fired her.Kim was unable to find new employment in theclose-knit industry of animal feed. After severalfrustrating months of job hunting, she finallyfound employment as a sales associate in a shop-ping mall. 4

What could Kim have done to prevent her act ofself-sabotage? Part of the problem was thatKim's reasoning under pressure was as impulsiveas her driving. She failed to carefully lay out thealternative solutions to her problem and then tochoose the most constructive one.

Kim might have telephoned her boss and openlyexplained that she would be unable to make in-person visits to her dealers for one month be-cause of her suspension. However, she wouldcover all her accounts by phone during the thirty-day period. Another alternative would have beento hire a retired or unemployed person to chauf-feur her for the month. The latter alternativeneed not even have been reported to manage-ment. Instead of patiently taking a rational ap-proach to decision making, Kim impulsivelychose the self-sabotaging course.

Few people tell the absolute truth in all worksituations. Most people interpret facts in such away as to protect their self-esteem and makethemselves look good. Assume that your pro-ductivity has increased one percent, and yourboss asks how the productivity-improvementproject is going. It is an acceptable interpretationof the facts to say, ''Productivity has improved."An "acceptable" lie has these characteristics:

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You don't take full credit for somebody else'swork or ideas.

How you present the facts is a matter of subject-ive interpretation.

You wouldn't be embarrassed if your interpreta-tion of the event were made public.

Neither any individual nor the organization isharmed by your interpretation of the truth.

Your statement does not violate company policy,professional codes of ethics, or the law. (For ex-ample, you cannot deny the existence of carcino-gens in the workplace when you know they arepresent.)

Stealing and Pilfering

"Thou shalt not steal" works its way into mostcompany policy manuals. But unlike many otherpolicy violations, this one subjects the personcaught stealing or pilfering to immediate dis-charge. Stealing is thus a popular choice amongthose determined on career sabotage. Michelle isa case in point.

Within six months of graduating from highschool, Michelle became a certified cosmetolo-gist. She obtained her first job as a shampoo tech-nician, then took employment as a cosmetic sales-person in a department store.

Michelle's charm and tact, combined with herlove of cosmetics, enabled her to be promoted tocosmetics manager within one year. Michelle'sboss was impressed with her outstanding job per-formance and her desire to learn more about cos-metics. She therefore gave Michelle the opportun-ity to attend a three-week Revlon training pro-gram in New York City.

Two weeks after Michelle learned that she wasgoing to the Revlon training program, she beganto steal. It began with small thefts such as salespromotion items intended for customers. Next,Michelle began to pocket actual merchandise.With the help of another store associate, Michellemoved on to larger and more expensive items, in-cluding jewelry from a nearby department.

As a result of inventory audits, and careful obser-vation, the store's management suspected that thetwo women were stealing merchandise. One nightas Michelle headed toward the door, a securityguard asked her if she had taken anything.Michelle insisted she had not. The guard asked

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to search her belongings. Dumbfounded, Michellehanded her handbag to the guard. He found afully tagged, gold herringbone bracelet inside thebag. The store manager was called to the scene,and Michelle was fired immediately. The manageralso threatened to call the police and have her ar-rested. However, he decided to let Michelle gowith the understanding that she would be perman-ently barred from working at any store within thechain.

The after-effects for Michelle were severe. Shewas without a job, and lost the respect of familyand friends. Ultimately, Michelle became a part-time custodial worker earning slightly above theminimum wage. 5

In speaking to a vocational rehabilitation coun-selor, Michelle developed insight into why shehad stolen. She had become frightened by theprospects of the new demands being placed onher. She felt the pressure when she was promotedto a departmental manager. Being chosen forRevlon training meant that the company was tar-geting her for even more responsibility in the fu-ture.

Michelle feared assuming more responsibility.As a result, she made the inappropriate and self-sabotaging decision to steal to ensure that shewould not be asked to handle more responsibil-ity. By walking out of the store with tagged mer-chandise, Michelle greatly increased her chancesof being caught and fired. If only Michelle hadtalked about her concerns with a friend, superior,or counselor when she first became ambivalentabout the additional responsibility, she mighthave reduced some of her anxiety and becomemotivated to find a more sensible method ofdealing with the new demands.

How can Michelle's unfortunate situation helpyou? If you are tempted to do something as self-sabotaging and dangerous as stealing, talk it overwith a trusted confidant. Or write a letter to your-self about your temptation. Most likely, you willfind a more constructive way of handling yourambivalence toward taking on new responsibilit-ies.

Projecting an Unprofessional Image

Virtually everyone intent on being successful isaware of the importance of projecting a profes-sional image by means of dress-

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ing and grooming themselves appropriately.Fewer people are aware of the importance of themore subtle ways of projecting a professionalimage. Projecting an unprofessional image inthese more subtle ways can be as self-sabotagingas wearing a striped jacket and plaid pants simul-taneously. Let's look at two behavior patternsthat project an unprofessional image.

Being Frivolous about Serious Situations

Humor in the workplace is highly valued. Yet itis self-defeating to consistently make frivolouscomments about situations of grave concern totop management.

Constantine, a quality control supervisor, wasconcerned about the many defects his departmentfound in the small motors made by his company.He developed a few routines about how the com-pany paid only lip service to quality. For example,he did an impression of the manufacturing super-intendent making a speech about quality while amotor he was demonstrating caught fire.

Constantine's frivolity finally led to self-sabotage.When he had an audience in his work area, Con-stantine would often answer the phone, "Hello,Constantine's Junk Yard. How many scrap motorswould you like?" One time Constantine answeredthe phone with his junk-yard greeting when thevice-president of manufacturing called. Withintwo weeks Constantine was demoted to qualitycontrol engineer. He found out too late that thevice-president found nothing humorous aboutproduct being converted to scrap.

Constantine should have been on the alert a lotearlier for signs that his frivolity was not beingwell received. He might have asked a co-worker,"Do you think people are taking my kidding theright way? Or am I going over the edge?" Makethe same reality check on your own use of humorin the office.

Excessive Youth Talk

Language gradually changes over time. Phrasesand expressions that may have created a negativeimpression in the past become acceptable to alater generation. For example, "You guys in mar-keting" to refer to marketing personnel of bothsexes is now

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at least on the borderline of respectability. Buttoo much talk characteristic of teenagerscalledyouth talkcan be self-defeating because it dimin-ishes the image of professionalism. Expressionsto be avoided include: "He goes," "She goes"("goes" meaning "says"), "he says,'' "she says"(both meaning "said"), "I'm like" (meaning "Iwas thinking"), and "you know" (vocalizedpause).

Youth talk is particularly self-defeating withinorganizations whose cultures favor a refined,professional image for higher-level positions.But even where language codes are less restrict-ive, such as for entry-level positions or jobs out-side of customer contact, youth talk can have anegative impact. A case in point is Susan.

A food service supervisor in a bank, Susan hadmajored in food administration in college and wasintent on climbing the ladder in her field. Heryouth talk helped Susan establish rapport withentry-level workers in the company cafeteria.When her boss quit, she recommended Susan asher replacement. However, the cafeteria managerturned down Susan's promotion. His justificationwas that Susan's manner of speaking was an em-barrassment to the bank, and as food service man-ager she would be speaking directly to many bankofficials and key customers.

Susan's speech patterns are so ingrained that shemay need speech therapy to learn how to speakin a professional manner. She should take theloss of the promotion as a signal to brush up herprofessional image before she sinks herselfagain.

Just in case youth talk could be self-defeating foryou, tape your voice. Then play back the resultsand listen carefully for excessive youth talk.Have a friend, spouse, or domestic partner listenalong with you. Make whatever modifications inyour speech patterns that appear to be necessary.

Anger and Cynicism

A quick path to self-sabotage is to feel and showanger toward co-workers, superiors, subordin-ates, or customers. One probable outcome is thatthe other person will retaliate. Your co-worker

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will not give you the cooperation you need to getyour job done. Your boss will reciprocate with asmall or no pay increase, a bad assignment, or ablocked promotion. Subordinates may drag theirheels when you need something done and bad-mouth you to your boss. And your customerswill take their business elsewhere.

Cynicism and anger are related because cynicsare angry. They believe other people are motiv-ated by selfishness and self-interest, and distrustmost things management does for workers. Cyn-ics put down holiday parties as a "cheap way formanagement to squeeze more productivity out ofpeople." And they look upon profit-sharing pro-grams as "a clever way of keeping out a laborunion." Cynics are usually perceptive and intelli-gent, but their anger makes others feel uncom-fortable, and fails to inspire. Many people cantolerate a cynic as a co-worker, but they don'twant one for a boss. Cynicism thus becomesself-defeating for purposes of career advance-ment.

Anger can be kept under control if you keep thefollowing guidelines in mind:

1. Anger hampers concentration and diminishesperformance on demanding tasks. While focus-ing on what angers you, you give only cursoryattention to the most important task at hand. Al-though anger may get your adrenalin pumping,your efforts lose focus and precision. This is whyit is important to calm down before doing creat-ive work. Less mentally demanding tasks can of-ten be handled well when you are angry. Use theenergy derived from your anger to clean out yourfiles or conduct a routine inventory.

2. Expressing anger over an event to a third-party who did not make you angry helps preventa self-defeating display of rage to the wrong per-sonsuch as your boss. You might say to a closefriend, "I'm angry that I was passed over for pro-motion. I wanted the job and I think I deserve it."Your friend's reaction may help you to calmdown.

3. When angry with another person, first expressthose feelings to yourself and then share the lessdestructive feelings with the person in question.The old saw of counting to ten when angry hasmerit.

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Or write down all your angry feelings and thensort out the useful ideas in your list. Suppose theCEO has imposed a hiring restriction that willleave your department understaffed. Compose aletter to yourself explaining how angry you are atthe CEO. Then make an appointment with amember of top management to express your le-gitimate concerns and rational feelings about thehiring freeze.

4. Do not carry grudges. Long-term grudgesgenerate negative stress and can divert product-ive energy. In addition to recognizing that youare carrying a grudge, choose from among thesesuggestions that appeared in the October 1985 is-sue of USA Weekend:

Confront the person you have a grudge against ina way that minimizes the consequences. Be ob-jective and tactful rather than explosive.

Look at the situation from the other person's per-spective. A valid reason may exist for his or herbehavior (such as the CEO imposing a hiringfreeze).

Weigh the seriousness of the offense that gaverise to your grudge. It may not be that serious.

Consider your options. List even the farfetchedones to help you vent your anger.

Work on accepting the situation. Let go of theanger, and move on to the more positive eventsin life. 6

Absenteeism and Lateness

The leading cause of employees being discip-linedabsenteeism and latenessis simultaneously amajor form of career self-sabotage. Some toler-ant managers are more concerned with the pro-ductivity of workers while they are on thepremises than with how much of the time theyare actually there. Career counselor Tom Jacksononce commented: "The last person to leave thebuilding at night is the custodian. That gives youa good idea of the importance of being physic-ally present." Despite the liberal attitude towardabsenteeism and lateness held by some, the vast

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majority of managers look askance at employeeswith poor attendance and lateness records.

Maintaining good attendance and punctuality ismore important than ever today because world-wide competition has force many private organ-izations into a permanent belt-tightening mode.Governmental organizations are also under con-stant pressure to control costs. The person who ishabitually absent or late is therefore at risk oftermination. Of particular concern here is themanagerial or professional worker who finds in-genious ways to avoid being on companypremises. Such was the situation with Jacques.

Jacques was the director of research and develop-ment (R&D) for a French manufacturer of peri-pheral equipment for computers. Among theFrench company's products were printers andcables for interconnecting computers. Jacques de-scribed his management style as "providing intel-lectual inspiration rather than hands-on leader-ship." In practice, this meant that his two keymanagers and their staff were pretty much ontheir own except when Jacques conferred withthem on major decisions. Jacques prided himselfon his ability to create a permissive atmospherethat fostered creativity.

Jacques's leadership style afforded him consider-able personal freedom. He capitalized on oppor-tunities to attend professional conferences inFrance and other countries. His assistant spentmuch of her time making travel arrangements forJacques's information-gathering journeys. Promp-ted by the controller, the president one day ques-tioned Jacques about the amount of time andmoney he was investing in travel. Jacques offeredthis defense:

One of my primary roles here is to act as a sensor.I have to scan the external environment to seewhat might be useful for us. I can then relatethose new ideas to our technology. If I don't inter-act with the outside world, our R&D perspectivewill be too narrow. We might also fall prey to theN.I.H. factor. If something is 'not invented here,'we will reject it. I see myself as helping us guardagainst a too insular viewpoint.

Jacques was comfortable with his assessment thathis trips to conferences were legitimate. Never-theless, he decided to cut back on some of his ex-pensive travel because it was being challenged bythe controller and the president. As an alternative,Jacques sought other ways of finding intellectualstimulation away from the company laboratory.He arranged long lunches with computer scienceprofessionals from universities and competitivecompanies. He attended computer industry tradeshows in Paris, and visited former colleagues attheir new places of work.

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One day a new laser printer was introduced by acompetitor. Managers and professionals atJacques's company huddled together to speculateon how this new product might adversely affecttheir business. The company atmosphere was socharged with a negative type of excitement thatthe president called for a 2 P.M. meeting of topmanagement that same day. The president and allthe other members of the management team, ex-cept Jacques, were present. Marcel, the productand development engineering manager who re-ported to Jacques, attended in his place. Askedwhy he was attending instead of Jacques, Marcelexplained that Jacques was at Oxford Universityfor the day conferring with a computer scienceprofessor.

Marcel stood in so admirably for Jacques that thepresident regarded Marcel as a potential replace-ment for Jacques. Several months later, Marcelwas promoted to the R&D directorship andJacques was placed on special assignment, report-ing to the president. The president explained thathe was being replaced because the company needan R&D director with a greater on-site presence.Jacques's new position was so vacuous that itlooked as if the president was inviting him to quit.Jacques now faced the prospect of having tosearch for a new position as a director of R&D.Not only was there a dearth of such positionsavailable, but Jacques would now have to explainwhy he had been placed on special assignment.

Jacques' setback fell short of full-scale self-sab-otage. The many contacts he had made duringhis "environmental scanning" trips facilitated hisfinding a new position with only a one-step de-motion. He became the new product develop-ment manager for one division of a conglomeratewith operations throughout Europe and the Un-ited States. Jacques feels lucky to still have a ma-nagerial position, and now carefully rations hisabsences from the office.

Jacques could have avoided his career setback bymore carefully scanning his internal environ-ment. By studying the culture of his companymore thoroughly he would have noticed thatmanaging from a distance was not its style. Thehands-on style he eschewed was valued by thepresident. Jacques did not take a careful look atthe choices he had to make. On the one hand,Jacques wanted the high income and perksoffered by an R&D director's position. On theother, he wanted the freedom to participate in ex-ternal professional activities whenever he liked.It was unrealistic to think that he could hold ontothe R&D position and still have all the profes-sional freedom he craved.

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Aside from its reminder about absenteeism,Jacques's case illustrates that the failure to con-front tough choices can be self-defeating. For-tunately for Jacques, he was set back rather thansabotaged. In order to satisfy a major goal, suchas achieving an executive position, you mayhave to sacrifice some personal freedom.

Clinging to Self-Righteous Values

Successful executives are supposed to cling tena-ciously to a set of values that guide them andtheir organizations toward the ethical choice intempting situations. Few would argue that ethicsare not important. But inflexibly holding on toyour values can be self-defeating if you findyourself convinced that you are right and every-body else is wrong.

An illuminating pattern of self-sabotage drivenby self-righteousness is illustrated by Henry'ssituation.

Henry held a series of junior high and high schoolteaching jobs within the state system over atwenty-five-year career. Several schools partedcompany with Henry by not renewing his con-tract. Although he finally received tenure, he wasdismissed from one position following a four-yearlegal struggle. Henry was found to be unfit toteach because of his continual conflicts with stu-dents and their parents.

Henry insisted that the goals set for students,from the standpoint of both academics and discip-line, were too low. The administration insistedthat Henry "cool it," but Henry clung tenaciouslyto his values. He accused the administration ofhypocrisy and his colleagues of pandering to stu-dents and their parents in order to hold on to theirjobs. Henry spent all of his inheritance and sav-ings on legal fees in an attempt to hold on to hisjobto no avail.

Financially and emotionally drained, Henryworked for several years selling used cars, substi-tute teaching, and waiting tables. Tired andashamed of being underemployed, Henry returnedto the classroom as a junior high school languageteacher in another town. Toward the end of theacademic year, he wrote a letter to an old friendreviewing his new job experience. In his words:

My teaching experience in the local school sys-tem has not been fruitful at all. I lack the patienceand temperament to cope with junior high

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school. So overwhelmed am I in an avalanche ofbureaucracy that I will not renew my contract forthe coming school year.

My frayed nerves could never endure anotherone-year stint of water torture. It is virtually im-possible to maintain any semblance of academicor disciplinary standards. I refuse to compromisemy values for the sake of preserving a job I reallydon't need or want. I don't mean to sound cavalier.Driving a twelve-year old car doesn't bother me.Nor do I mind wearing clothes that are not fash-ionable. What I do mind is sacrificing my values.

Henry's self-righteousness had put him at oddswith administrators, colleagues, students, andtheir parents. On the verge of being permanentlyblacklisted from ever getting back into theclassroom, Henry was urged by the recipient ofhis letter to go through one of the most importantexercises for overcoming self-defeating behavior.He typed out, to the best of his recollection, allthe major altercations he had with administratorsin his various teaching jobs. Instructed to look fora common thread to these upsetting experiences,Henry himself found that his standards were toohigh, perhaps unrealistic, for today's world.

Henry entered the classroom once again, this timeat a parochial high school in another small town.Attempting to control his self-righteousness, hefashioned a comeback. Henry wrote a more op-timistic note on a holiday card to the same friend:

Small-town life agrees with me. I left the publicschool system for Notre Dame, the only Catholichigh school remaining between the two major cit-ies located in this area. Never again will I set footin a junior high school. Although I suffered a sub-stantial pay cut, I am infinitely happier teachingolder students. Going to work each day is a"high" for me. This is indeed the most pleasantsituation that I have ever experienced as a teacher.

Undoubtedly this is Henry's most pleasant exper-ience as a teacher. Because his behavior is nolonger so self-sabotaging, he can now breatheeasier. Being more tolerant of others' values hasgranted Henry the relief of not encountering sucha hostile work environment.

Should you find that over a period of time youhave entered into frequent clashes of opinionswith others, follow the constructive actionsHenry finally took. Prepare a written account ofyour run-ins, and look for a common thread. Per-haps you too have experienced a clash of values.Maybe you could modify your positions in orderto prevent further career self-sabotage.

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Insensitivity to People

The most consistent observation about careersuccess is that interpersonal skills are vital. Man-agers and professionals who bully and intimidateothers, who are hostile, mean, and rude, or in-sensitive in other ways are usually headed to-ward a career setback.

Evidence collected by an institute for the studyof leadership demonstrates the negative conse-quences of insensitivity, specifically how it canblock the careers of up-and-coming managers. Ina study of top executives, psychologists MorganMcCall and Michael Lombardo compared "de-railed" executives with those who had pro-gressed to senior management positions. Theleading category of fatal flaws was insensitivityto others, characterized by an abrasive, intimidat-ing, bullying style. 7 When feedback accumu-lated that the aspirant to senior managementtreated people extremely poorly, he or she wasremoved from the promotable list.

Exceptions do exist, of course. Not all insensit-ive and disliked people suffer severe career set-backs. The late Charles Revson of Revlon was alegendary tyrant. Then it sometimes takes a longtime before people can get their revenge on abully. John Sununu, chief of staff under GeorgeBush, is noted for his imperiousness and intoler-ance. Introduced at the National Press Club asthe "White House Chafe of Staff," he respondedthat he planned to continue his calculated insultsand temper tantrums toward Congress. Later,when Sununu was under attack for having usedgovernment aircraft and money for personaltrips, several White House associates were quickto volunteer damaging evidence.

Despite the exceptions, insensitivity to people isself-sabotaging when one is dependent upon oth-ers to accomplish work. Barry's case shows why.

Barry, a senior vice-president of a large commer-cial printing concern, was only one step awayfrom becoming president of the company. His al-most obsessional knowledge of the printing in-dustry, his financial acumen, and his aggressive-ness had enabled Barry to become an officer inthe company.

Barry's preferred style of leadership was to deleg-ate fact finding and then to have the team memberbring a complete report back to him. If the

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president or another member of top managementquestioned any aspect of the report, Barry wouldblame the person who had prepared the report.After meeting with top management, he wouldcastigate that team member. At his angriest, Barrywould even threaten to ruin the career of the per-son whose report had been questioned.

When a report was well received by the CEO orother members of top management, Barry wouldshare credit with the group member on a 90:10basis. Barry naturally voted himself 90 percent ofthe credit. The people who reported to Barry re-sented receiving so little credit for their efforts,but so much of the blame. One day Laura, a fin-ancial analyst, mentioned tactfully that she wouldlike to receive more credit for her contribution totop management briefings. Barry accused her ofbeing a "recognition hound" and a "wretchedteam player."

As a result of his generosity in assigning blame,and his stinginess in assigning credit, Barry en-gendered the resentment of many people belowhim. Barry's unpopularity peaked when hebrought Laura to a top management meeting toplacate her desire for more recognition. At themeeting, Barry introduced Laura, and said he hadbrought her along so that she could receive fullcredit for crunching a few numbers for the report.Although humiliated, Laura stayed for the meet-ing to help interpret some of the figures she hadassembled.

Laura decided to seek appropriate revenge. Sheshared her experience with a few other account-ants and financial analysts. Together they com-posed a letter to the board of directors explainingwhy they thought Barry was too unpolished to be-come president of their company. The letterprompted the board to conduct a thorough reviewof Barry's qualifications for the presidency. Sixmonths later, the current president resigned, and anew president was appointed from the outside.

Barry attributed his being bypassed to officepolitics. He assumed that people were trying toblock him from becoming president because theyfavored the outside candidate. What Barry failedto accept was that his abrasiveness and creditstealing had converted the professionals on hisstaff into adversaries. Barry's insult to Laura wasthe last straw. It motivated his own staff tomount a campaign against his becoming presid-ent.

Barry's chances of becoming president couldhave been salvaged. Why did a senior executivebeing groomed for the presidency not attend aseminar on leadership styles and learn about howhe came across to others? Why didn't he ask forfeedback from other members of the manage-ment team on how well he

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was performing as a leader? With appropriatefeedback and a commitment to make necessaryadjustments, Barry could have achieved his goal.

Barry's real problem then was that he had noawareness of the idea of career self-sabotage. Hetherefore did not monitor his own behavior orask for feedback from others.

Even when things are going well for you, it ishelpful to ask yourself every few months:

Is there anything I'm doing that is workingagainst my best interests?

Are people recoiling from me in any way?

Am I continually fighting the same old battles?

If your answers are affirmative to these or simil-ar questions, investigate further and takewhatever action is needed. Do precisely thethings Barry failed to do.

Crossing Swords with Powerful People

In Barry's case, the senior vice-president's staffdid cross swords with a powerful person, butthey did so collectively and via a quiet, behind-the-back maneuver. Ordinarily, it is self-sabot-aging to step on Superman's cape directly. Be-fore attempting an angry confrontation with apowerful person, it is crucial to have formed analliance with an even more powerful person. Be-fore having a sharp disagreement with your bossover a major issue, first obtain the sympathy ofyour boss's boss for your position. Jim violatedthis principle and accordingly suffered the conse-quences.

Jim was a district manager for a large insurancecompany, a position he had held for many years.A new regional vice-president was appointed oneyear. The next year, Jim's district office experien-ced some difficulties. The insurance market hadsoftened, and a new state insurance law requiringa sixty-day notice of a 10 percent or greaterpremium increase was instituted. The change inthe law caused the underwriting department tofall behind in quoting new business.

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In April, the new vice-president wrote a criticalappraisal of Jim. He described the district as be-ing out of control and the underwriting depart-ment as being poorly managed. According to thevice-president's analysis, the district was writingonly one out of five policies that it quoted. Hetold the district manager to improve this ratio bycarefully evaluating the type of policies they wereselling and those they were not.

Jim wrote the vice-president a lengthy rebuttal tothe negative appraisal of his district. He said thathe had been in charge of the district office for al-most thirty years and that his methods of controlwere best suited to the situation. Jim pointed outthat external market conditions had caused theunderwriting problem and that he could not con-trol them. Jim also said that the district underwrit-ing manager (who reported to Jim) was incompet-ent and should be replaced immediately.

The vice-president was angered by Jim's letter. Hetold him that the situation called for action plans,not excuses. The vice-president also said that theunderwriting manager was the best in the busi-ness, and that Jim should work closely with him.Jim became further enraged by the vice-presid-ent's stern response to his rebuttal. He called thevice-president's boss in the home office to com-plain about how he was being treated. At thesame time, he wrote a lengthy, critical memo tohis underwriting manager. In the memo he issuedsixteen orders and threatened to have the under-writing manager fired if all were not carried out.When the underwriting manager showed thememo to the regional vice-president, the VP initi-ated actions to pressure Jim into early retirement.8

Jim's behavior was self-defeating because he didnot want early retirement. His pension was ap-proximately 60 percent of what he would havereceived had he worked for the company untilage 65. After several months of searching, Jimfinally had to settle for a part-time position asclaims examiner.

Jim's conflict with the regional vice-presidentneed not have been self-sabotaging. Beforecrossing swords, Jim should have stopped toanalyze the power discrepancy between himselfand the vice-president. This harsh, anger-ventil-ating memo was a poor way of resolving conflictbetween himself and a person with much moreformal authority.

Jim might have initiated a meeting with the vice-president to encourage him to look at some addi-tional factors in evaluating the status of the dis-trict office. Jim could have brought facts to themeeting to document his side of the story. If thegentle

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confrontation did not work, Jim might havegingerly approached the president of the com-pany to see if an appeal of the evaluation waspossible.

Instead, Jim chose a self-sabotaging alternative.By crossing swords with a more powerful personand venting his anger, Jim wounded his own egoand his career. Jim hurt himself, but his mistakesmight benefit you. Beware of sending a fire-spit-ting memo to a person of higher rank. It could beself-sabotaging. A good alternative is to write thememo but not send it. Then discuss your prob-lem with the key person involved, tactfully anddiplomatically.

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5Subtle Forms of Self-Sabotage

Some of the most adroit self-saboteurs bring fail-ure upon themselves with subtlety and finesse.The process is similar to how day turns intonight, and blond hair turns white. Many of theirself-sabotaging actions and attitudes seem posit-ive at first, but gradually they assume a down-ward drift. The person moves one step at a timefrom high performance through mediocrity tosubstandard performance. Career sabotage fol-lows after a long bout of substandard perform-ance.

Awareness of these subtle forms of self-sabotageis a starting point in preventing them from mov-ing your career in a downward spiral. You canalso use this information to reverse a pattern ofself-sabotage already in motion, or to help a sub-ordinate, friend, or spouse.

Power Obsession

An affinity for power is part of the emotionalmakeup of top executives and deal makers.Without a strong power need, a person is un-likely to invest all the physical and mental en-ergy necessary for success. Nevertheless, an ob-session with power is often (certainly not al-ways) self-defeating because the power chaserfocuses too much on acquiring power. While thechase is on, two important factors are often neg-lected: the quality of work being performed toacquire power, and building relationships withpeople.

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Another problem with a power obsession is thatsuch behavior alienates many people. If you be-gin to falter, they will do what they can to facilit-ate your descent. An example is when DonaldTrump's financial empire began to erode. Largenumbers of people smirked, ''It couldn't happento a more deserving person."

An obsession with power has led many execut-ives into unsound business deals. An executivewho fits into this pattern is William H. Bricker.According to a 1987 article in Business Week,Bricker resigned as CEO of Diamond Shamrockto allay concerns that he had become a big partof the problem at his company. Under his direc-tion a once profitable chemical company evolvedinto a debt-ridden conglomerate with huge, con-sistent losses.

Bill Bricker had moved rapidly up the corporateranks to become chief executive at DiamondShamrock at age 44. His first big assignment wasto manage the chemical business. He later servedas an apprentice to the president, Raymond F.Evans. Bricker was well-liked by Evans who ad-mired his canny instincts and his sense of teamplay. Moving up one rung on the ladder made abig difference. Evans explained that "Brickerchanged 180 degrees when he became CEO. Hejust became a different guy. I guess his ego gothim."

Bricker became obsessed with the idea of build-ing a big-league energy company. By the timeBricker resigned, Diamond had the trappings ofhigh status. The power symbols included a12,000 acre-ranch on the Texas prairie, a$1-million box at Dallas Cowboy home games,and a fleet of airplanes for Bricker and other dir-ectors. Pheasant hunts were part of customer en-tertainment at the Texas ranch. Diamond regu-larly flew in a professional shoot manager fromIreland to organize the hunts. Under Bricker'sdirection, Diamond took unusual risks for itssize. Exploration in a dry hole in Alaska'sBeaufort Sea cost approximately $800 million.An analyst said, "Bricker was betting the ranchand lost it." 1

Bricker's quest for power brought his companyto the brink of financial ruin, and set back his ca-reer substantially. Events could have worked outmore positively for Bricker had he listened to thewarning signals around him. Bricker reasoned atone point that the outlook for energy prices in-dicated that Diamond should

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plunge into the production of oil, gas, and coal.His company directors opposed acquiring a coal-producing company, but Bricker persisted.Evans, the former president, said, "I had the feel-ing that he wasn't going to listen to anyone."Many company executives concluded that it wasfutile to oppose Bricker and the glitzy new cul-ture he was creating at Diamond. 2

Bricker moved stubbornly forward in his quest tobe CEO of a powerful company, surrounded byexcess and ostentation. He apparently neverstopped to ask, "Is the criticism I'm receivingfrom the board valid? Am I going over the edgein trying to act like a soap opera stereotype of anenergy baron?"

If you have reached a position in which powerabuse is a temptation, audit your own possibletendencies toward greed, gluttony, and avarice.Ask yourself:

How much would a reasonable person in my po-sition flaunt his or her power?

Would the board of directors approve of theperks I have allotted myself?

Is the compensation I demand appropriate to myaccomplishments, or is it a question of satisfyingmy ego?

Would my use of power make a sordid case his-tory in a text about business ethics?

Is the way I am using my power bound to makeothers angry and resentful?

If your answers to these questions are mostly af-firmative, people are probably already plotting todepose you. Soften your approach and use yourpower in a less self-serving way. Make a less os-tentatious show of power, and display some hu-mility.

Negative Self-Talk

Putting yourself down by making negative self-statements has the cumulative effect of settinglow goals for yourself. A negative statement hereand there is not sabotaging. Eventually, however,low expectations become self-fulfilling. Askedabout negative self-talk in his line of work, po-lice lieutenant Larry Weber said:

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"I see it all the time. We have officers who keepsaying they will never pass the promotion exam.They put themselves down so badly it comes true.By the time they take the test, they are convincedthey are going to fail. When it comes time to takethe civil service test, they can't think straight. Itworks out that they have talked themselves intofailing."

To avoid self-sabotage, the police officers whomake these negative self-statements must learnto talk positively to themselves. Many people inother lines of work face the same problem. Theantidote to self-sabotage through negative self-talk is to engage in positive self-talk. Accordingto the system developed by Jay T. Knippen andThad B. Green, the first step in using positiveself-talk is to objectively state the problem that iscasting doubt on one's self-worth. 3 The keyword here is objectively. Terry, who is fearful ofa report-writing assignment, might say, "I'vebeen asked to write a report for the company, andI'm not a good writer."

The next step is to objectively interpret what theproblem does not mean. Terry might say, "Notbeing a skilled writer doesn't mean that I can'tfigure out a way to write a good report, or thatI'm an ineffective employee."

Next, objectively state what the situation doesmean. In doing this, avoid put-down labels suchas "incompetent," "stupid," "dumb," "jerk,'' or"airhead." All these terms are forms of negativeself-talk. Terry should state what it does mean: "Ihave a problem with one small aspect of this job-preparing professional-level reports. This meansI need to improve my report-writing skills."

The fourth step is to objectively account for thecause of the problem. Terry would say, "I'mreally worried about writing a good report be-cause I have very little experience in writingalong these lines."

The fifth step is to identify some positive waysof preventing the situation from arising again.Terry might say, "I'll refer to a book on businesscommunications and review the chapter on re-port writing," or "I'll enroll in a course or semin-ar on business report writing."

The final step is to use positive self-talk. Terryimagines his

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boss saying, "This report is really good. I'mproud of my decision to select you to preparethis important report."

Positive self-talk helps overcome self-defeatingtendencies in several ways. It builds self-confid-ence and self-esteem because it programs themind with positive messages. 4 Making frequentpositive messages or affirmations about the selfcreates a more confident person.

Positive self-talk is also useful in overcomingself-imposed limitations. Such limitations arethose we create for ourselves, usually on thebasis of very little objective evidence. One ex-ample is a person not applying for a desirableposition because he or she declares, "The com-pany is probably looking for somebody withmore experience (or for somebody younger, ormore technical, or from a large company)." Thecandidate thus disqualifies himself or herself,even though none of these restrictions have beenmentioned by the prospective employer.

Fear of Success

Fear of success, as mentioned earlier, can lead toprocrastination. The same fear can lead to otherforms of self-sabotage, including snatching de-feat from the jaws of victory. One such successfearer was found at a university.

A student who was evaluated as doing poorly inher Ph.D. program got the top grade on the quali-fying exams. She then proceeded to lose all cop-ies of her dissertation. A thief snatched the eleg-ant briefcase in which she had put them from herunlocked car. The student was shocked that any-one could have been so cruel as to stealsomething of such great importance to her and ofsuch negligible value to anyone else. She simplydid not see that by her carelessness she had virtu-ally invited the theft of the briefcase, which fromthe thief's point of view happened to be stuffedwith useless paper.5

The fear of repeating past successes is a moresubtle form of the fear of success. People whoearn big bonuses and commissions after an out-standing year are sometimes trapped by this curi-ous form of self-sabotage. They find ways ofdestroying their chances of being as successfulas they were in the past. In this

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way they avoid worry about having to give topperformances continually. A financial plannerexperienced this problem.

Karl had gradually built up his business over afive-year period, earning $225,000 in 1986. Tocelebrate, he took a vacation at the end of theyear, then never seemed to return mentally fromthis vacation. After achieving his goal, hedoubted he could repeat his outstanding perform-ance. Karl prospected less and made fewer newcontacts and calls. Through September of 1987 heearned approximately $130,000. After the stockmarket crash in October, his commissions de-clined precipitously. His final earnings for 1987were $139,000.

Clients called to express worry and concern abouttheir investments. Karl reassured his clients. Hetold them he had advocated conservative invest-ments, thus protecting them against severe lossesso long as they could ride out the market. Karlrarely made any buy or sell recommendations tohis clients, thus restricting his commissions. Hebecame increasingly passive as an investment ad-viser. He restricted his telephone calls to severalwealthy clients who were cordial but not activelyinvesting. He also stopped following up on refer-rals.

Even simple inquiries by clients about their ac-counts seemed too stressful for Karl to handle. Hespent hours reading investment newsletters andThe Wall Street Journal, but took no action. Busi-ness had gradually picked up for other financialplanners in his office, but Karl's commissionscontinued to decline. His income fell to $70,000in 1988.

As his income continued to decline, Karl beganbouncing checks, switching banks and setting upnew accounts, and was late in paying many of hisbills. Soon he began borrowing money from hiswealthiest clients. Karl was on the verge of beingfired when his company collapsed. He thusavoided the stigma of being fired. Karl found newemployment in a salaried position in the trust de-partment of a bank. Bit by bit he made good onpast due bills. He now pursues a more modestlife-style and often says to friends, "I wish the fin-ancial planning business hadn't gone so bad. Imiss the chance to earn a really big income." 6

How can the doctoral candidate who lost her dis-sertation and Karl, who lost his nerve, be helped?Much depends on how deep their problem lies.Fear of success sometimes stems from a neuroticbehavior pattern, driven by an unconscious needto reject success. If so, the person who runs fromsuccess may need many sessions with a psycho-therapist to overcome the problem. An importantpart of such therapy is to confront the patientwith

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repeated instances of his or her fear of success.In Karl's case he would have to explore intens-ively what he didn't like about earning such ahigh income.

Not everybody requires psychotherapy to over-come fear of success. The majority of such in-stances are motivated by concerns about theheavy demands placed by others, or by a desirenot to hurt other people's feelings or to ruffletheir feathers. If a person is an outstanding suc-cess, some friends and family members may be-come envious or feel slighted. To avoid dealingwith such awkward situations, a person mayback off from being really successful.

Emotional support from family and friends canhelp a person overcome a fear of success that isnot driven by unconscious desires and disturbingchildhood experiences. Significant others canhelp a person overcome fear of success by offer-ing reassurance that the person will still be loveddespite his or her outstanding accomplishment.Losing close friends is a real possibility afteroutdistancing them in worldly achievement. Re-assurance and cooperation are thus very helpful.Karl's wife might have told him repeatedly, "Youhad a great year in 1986, Karl, but don't worryabout it. I'm not expecting miracles again. Savoryour good times."

Many people fail to receive the emotional sup-port they need from family and friends becausethey do not know how to ask for it. If you needemotional support, but are not adept at request-ing it, do the following:

1. Be specific about what you want. Tellingsomeone that you are in trouble and have no ideawhat to do next hands them a complex problem.A practical way of being specific in asking forhelp is to point to exactly the type of help youneed. You might say to a friend, "I think I'mafraid of success, and I want to run my thoughtspast you."

2. Be as positive and self-confident as possible.Instead of saying "I feel overwhelmed and out ofcontrol," say "I'm faced with an important prob-lem to solve. I want to get your input on whetherI'm thinking sensibly."

3. Translate your request for help into an evenexchange of ideas. A

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suitable expression is: "I would like to exchangesome ideas with you on a problem I'm facing."Even if you really want some specific advice onsolving your problem, presenting your request ina way that emphasizes an even exchange makesboth parties feel more comfortable.

4. Flatter the person from whom you wish to re-ceive support. Indicate that you respect the otherperson's advice because you respect his or herthinking, accomplishments, and judgment.

5. Follow up any form of help with an expressionof appreciation. If the person is a friend ratherthan a spouse or domestic partner, write a note ofappreciation. 7

Poor Team Play

Team play is so valued that people who resist be-ing good team players risk sabotaging their ca-reers. To be accused of being a poor team playeris to be seen as a misfit, particularly in a bureau-cracy. If you own the company, conspicuous dis-plays of team play are much less necessary. Theteam player emphasizes "we" instead of "I" andfreely engages in group decision making. He orshe also looks to exchange favors in such waysas taking care of problems when a co-worker isunavailable. The solo artist does little of any ofthis. To avoid self-sabotage, it is important to en-gage in team play even at an early stage in one'scareer. Conrad's experience illustrates why.

After graduating from college as an accountingmajor, Conrad fulfilled his ROTC obligation oftwo years of active duty as a military officer. Hehad a lot of respect for the army and the caliber ofthe officers with whom he worked. Yet Conradfelt he was not well suited for a career in the mil-itary. In his words, "I'm too independent. I like tomake decisions on my own. I need more flexibil-ity and space than the army can provide. I wouldbe better off in business or industry."

Conrad's next career move was to obtain a posi-tion with a CPA firm in Boston as a staff account-ant. While in the army Conrad prepared for hisCPA exam. Within 18 months of working as a ci-vilian, he passed all five parts of the exam. Con-rad believed that his career opportunities were un-limited. His credentials were excellent, and histwo years as an army lieutenant gave him moreleadership experience than his competitors had.

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Conrad went about his work diligently, rarelyhaving lunch or afterhours drinks with the otheraccountants. He reasoned that he was moreserious-minded than his co-workers. Conrad wasintent on becoming the highest producer in hisunit. He succeeded, attaining the highest numberof billable hours among the junior accountants inhis office.

When a supervising accountant position was cre-ated in Conrad's area, he was not chosen. Instead,the partners promoted a woman a little older thanConrad whose productivity was about average.Conrad was both perturbed and perplexed. Whywould the partners not choose him for supervisorwhen he was the highest producer in the officeand an experienced leader to boot? At Conrad'srequest, the managing partner of the office ex-plained why: Conrad was indeed a competent andproductive accountant, but he was too much of aloner. He acted as if he were in business for him-self instead of working as a member of the firm.

Conrad learned early in his career that not beinga good team player was blocking his ambition toadvance toward management. If he wanted tostop sabotaging his career, he could adopt one ofthe two options available. He could stay with thefirm, make more of an attempt to become a teamplayer, and hope that he could reshape his image.Or he could seek employment in another CPAfirm, begin afresh, and demonstrate the spirit ofteam work from the start. Because Conrad hadsolicited the feedback he needed, he could alterthe personal style that was preventing him fromachieving an important goal.

Because team play is so valued today, I recom-mend that you solicit feedback as to whether youare a good team player. If the feedback is negat-ive, revamp your style and begin to cooperatemore with others. Above all, start using the word"we" rather than "I."

Excuse Making

Deft excuse makers shift the blame for a negat-ive event from themselves to an outside cause.They thus get off the hook temporarily. How of-ten do you blame a computer malfunction foryour failure to get results to your boss on time?

Repeated excuse making becomes self-sabot-aging because the excuse maker is actually dis-claiming responsibility for failure.

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He is saying essentially, for example, "I'm nogood with details. As you know, some people arebetter with concepts than details. It is thereforenot my fault that some of the figures were wrongfor our presentation to our biggest customer onMonday morning." Failing becomes easy when itis beyond one's control. Raymond Higgins andC. R. Snyder, two researchers on self-defeatingexcuses, describe a telling case:

Bob faced a dilemma. His oft-stated ambition wasto be a social worker. In fact, he had been onebriefly but had lost his job because he was unableto overcome his obsessive fears about things thatmight happen to him when he went to work. Overthe course of several months he was absent twiceas often as he was present. He ultimately agreedto "resign" his position. Now he needed only tocomplete a correspondence course to regain hiscertification.

As he thought about this situation, Bob realizedthat, if he were to become recertified, he mightactually get a professional position. The prospectfrightened himhe felt that he couldn't stand it if hewere to try and fail again. As things turned out,Bob just couldn't find the time to work on his cor-respondence course. He had too many commit-ments and was making more all the time. Besides,every time he tried to read the course text, he fellasleep. Of all the available courses, why had hechosen this one? Something else would have beenmuch better. 8

Bob's case illustrates how self-defeating excusemaking operates. His excuses did not get himthrough some hard times and enable him toachieve something worthwhile. Instead, they in-creased his chances of failure. Bob excused hishigh absenteeism from work by informing hissupervisor and co-workers that he was sufferingfrom chronic heart disease. (In fact, he did havea heart murmur.) His medical excuse concealedthe real reason for his truancy (his obsessivefears) and helped him avoid being labeled asemotionally disturbed. Nevertheless, Bob's ex-cuse making was self-defeating at another level.It reinforced his chronic pattern of avoiding deal-ing with the fears that were limiting his life andhis freedom.

Bob's temporarily successful excuse making wasalso self-defeating because it eroded his self-es-teem. The deceit inherent in the excuse wastransparent to him. He eventually suffered fromcondemnatory self-statements and a growingsense of hopelessness about ever regaining con-trol of his life.9

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Excuse makers need to be pummeled psychologically by a few authorityfigures before they can learn to help themselves. One of the best illustra-tions of how to help an excuse maker happened to me at LaGuardia Air-port. Stressed-out from the crowd, the noise, and the flight delay atLaGuardia, I could not locate my tickets. Feeling dependent and helpless, Isaid to the ticket agent at the check-in counter: "I've lost my tickets. Whatshould I do now?" "Find them," he replied sternly. Rummaging throughmy attaché case, I did find them. The look on the man's face and the toneof his voice gave me no alternative.

Excuse makers have to be treated in the stern way adopted by the ticketagent by those who influence their lives. Suppose someone uses this ex-cuse: "I won't be able to get the figures you need until next week becausenobody is available to fix my computer." The manager in this case shouldreply, "I need the figures. It's your job to figure out how to get them to me.If you can't do it, take a one-week suspension without pay. In the meantime, we'll find somebody else to do the job." After one or two such con-structive confrontations, the excuse maker will realize that excuses offerfew long-range benefits.

Assume that no authority figure has confronted you about your excusemaking. This could mean that you are not a self-sabotaging excuse maker.Nevertheless, it is to your advantage to conduct a self-audit to see if youhave any tendencies toward an overreliance on excuse making. Answerthe following:

__ Do you attribute most of your mistakes to having had a bad day?

__ Is it usually somebody else's fault when you fail to complete a projector fail to complete it on time?

__ Do you attribute most of your problems to bad luck?

__ Do you feel you would receive much better performance appraisals ifyour employer didn't have such unrealistic standards?

__ Do you think you would be much more successful today if you hadentered a different field?

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Positive answers to the questions in the boxcould mean that you are placing too much blameon the outside world for your shortcomings. Be-gin to think of yourself as the most importantagent in whether or not you succeed. Only thencan you overcome the self-sabotaging habit ofexcuse making.

Refusal to Negotiate

An intractable negotiating style is another formof self-sabotage. Tough-minded negotiation hassome short-range benefits, such as a few bigwins at the bargaining table. Yet in the long termthe person who refuses to negotiate collectsmany enemies and few friends. Should a thirdparty be required to settle a negotiating stale-mate, that person will have little sympathy forthe party who refuses to budge. Divorce lawyerssometimes demand preposterous settlements fortheir clients, and refuse to grant any concessions.Because of the lawyers' refusal to negotiate amutually satisfactory settlement, such cases go totrial. In response to these attorneys' intractability,the judge is likely to order a minimum settlementfor their clients.

Howard Raiffa, in The Art and Science of Nego-tiation, refers to the no-concessions negotiatingstyle as macho-chicken. 10 Macho applies to thenegotiator who acts very tough and masculine;chicken refers to the game in which two drivershead their cars directly toward each other. Unlessone of the drivers gets out of the way (chickensout), a head-on crash is inevitable. The analogyis valid because both the driver and the negotiat-or are headed down a path of self-sabotage. Theperson who refuses to negotiate on the job oftenbehaves similarly at home.

Marv, the vice-president of purchasing at a foodprocessing company, prides himself on his tough-ness. He describes himself as "a guy who grantsnobody any favors. Every dollar anyone gets fromme is earned. I almost never grant concessions.Anyone who doesn't like it can do business else-where." As a parent he maintains the same firmattitudes. "I tell my children that if they want todrive the car, they earn the gas and insurancemoney. No exceptions. I never let the kids out fordates, athletics, or school events unless they haveall their chores done. I'm the parent, I make thedecisions. When they run their own households,they can make the rules."

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Several times farmers have pleaded with Marv tocompromise on the difference between the pricethey asked for their crops and the price heoffered. One time, an orange grower explained toMarv that he would actually be losing $1.00 abushel at the price Marv offered. Marv replied, "Ifyou don't like my price, find another buyer or letyour crop rot. Get back to us when you havereached your decision. You know our number."

The orange grower did sell at Marv's price thatyear. But the next season, the grower found otherpurchasers for his entire crop. Short of enough or-anges to meet the demand for juice, Marv contac-ted the grower and asked when he would be readyto make shipment. The grower replied that hewould not sell to Marv's company at any price,that the company could purchase oranges fromCalifornia or South America. Marv knew that hewould be held responsible for the extraordinaryprice his company would have to pay for orangesthis season. Because competitors did not have topay so much for oranges, Marv's company wouldhave to absorb the cost. Orange juice profits werereduced to zero that year, and so was Marv'ssalary increase.

Marv also experienced some upheaval in hishome life. His son left home to live with a groupof friends while still in high school. He contendedthat since he was treated with no warmth or un-derstanding at home, he preferred to live outsidethe family. Marv's daughter dropped out of col-lege, stating that she would return to college atsome point when she could afford to pay all herown expenses. She resented her father's implica-tion that he was granting her an enormous favorby making small contributions to her college ex-penses. Following these defections by the chil-dren, Marv's relationship with his wife becamestrained. She blamed some of the children's con-fusion on Marv's authoritarian attitudes as a par-ent.

At first Marv found plausible rationalizations forthe negative consequences of his unyielding ne-gotiating style. The orange grower who refusedto sell to them was just being spiteful, and hischildren were just being normally rebellious.Nevertheless, Marv was rational enough to seethe underlying thread in these two setbacks. Un-less he found a way to grant more concessions topeople, yet still save face, he would further sab-otage his work and personal life.

Marv knew the human resources director at hiscompany well enough to ask her what he mightbe doing wrong in dealing with people. She ad-vised Marv to attend a negotiating workshop andto read extensively on the topic. Marv has a wayto go, but

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he has become more flexible. He is beginning tounderstand emotionally that both sides can winat negotiation.

If you, like Marv, have developed an inflexiblenegotiating style, it is time to practice the art ofconcession making. A refusal to negotiate isdoubly self-sabotaging in a business climate likethe current one, in which cooperative relation-ships between people are emphasized.

Failure to Empathize

Closely related to a refusal to negotiate is a fail-ure to empathize with people. When a personcannot understand another's viewpoint, conces-sions are not likely to be granted to that person.Failure to empathize can be self-defeating be-cause the individual or groups whose viewpointis not understood may rebel. For example, an ex-ecutive who cannot understand why a group ofworkers is dissatisfied about advancement op-portunities may soon face discriminationcharges. Failure to empathize can also be self-de-feating when the issues are technical.

Fay was placed in charge of a brand-new softwarequality assurance (SQA) group. Six years of tech-nical and managerial work in SQA together withmany seminars and conferences on the topic res-ulted in Fay's becoming a zealot. Fay wrote apresentation on how to start an SQA program.She gave the presentation many times, both with-in and outside the company. Fay was promoted tomanager of the quality assurance department,which included both hardware and software. Yetsoftware quality assurance remained her true alle-giance.

Fay was given the chance to become an adviseron software engineering to the general managerof a division. She jumped at the opportunity tohave an influence on policy over the entire divi-sion. Despite her new position, Fay has continuedto act as if she were still heading up SQA. Shespeaks regularly to software engineering groupswithin the division, trying to convince them tochange their development methods. Her wordsappear to have no effect.

Fay turns her audiences off the minute she stepsinto the room. She wears buttons and carries atote bag with SQA slogans. Fay refers to herselfas an SQA engineer. She pushes hard for moretest and SQA involvement in the software devel-opment process. Because Fay will not put asideher old

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role as an SQA engineer, development engineersdo not take her seriously. They see Fay as anotherquality assurance person trying to tell them whatto do, not as a spokesperson for their generalmanager. 11

Unless Fay learns to empathize with her audien-ce, and hears her message the way they hear it,she will continue to behave in a way that defeatsher purpose. She wants to inspire people, but sheframes her messages in a way that leaves themsuspicious and skeptical. Until she learns that herfailure to empathize is her biggest obstacle, Faywill never be successful as a division consultantfor the total software engineering process.

Empathy is not easy to learn, but Fay has to takesome constructive action if she is to adequatelyfill her professional role. A feasible approachwould be the type of training now being used tohelp people become more sensitive to cultural di-versity in the workplace. People from majorityand minority groups are brought together insmall groups to thrash out differences in attitudesand perceptions. In the awareness group pro-posed here, hardware and software professionalscould talk about the type of person they want toserve as a general adviser. In the process, Faywould undoubtedly be taken to task for the in-sensitivity of her SQA buttons and tote bag.

If the feedback you have been receiving is thatyou are short on empathy, and long on seeingthings your own way, take heed. Hold a groupsession with people who are dependent on youroutput. Initiate a discussion on how well yourgroup is able to understand its requirements.

Drifting into Obsolescence

Another gradual and subtle way of committingcareer self-sabotage is to become obsoletethrough lack of appropriate knowledge or skills.Obsolescence is often thought of in terms oftechnical knowledge and skill. However, a per-son can also become obsolete for lacking know-ledge and skills about administrative matters orpeople. An example is the manager who neveracquires the appropriate skills and sensitivitiesfor dealing comfortably with a culturally diversework force. Gradually that person becomes

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obsolete as he or she is perceived as practicingjob discrimination. Persisting in a leadershipstyle that is inappropriate to the circumstances isanother path to obsolescence and self-sabotage.

When President Frank Marant gained control ofGreat Southern Foods from his uncle five yearsago, one of his primary goals was to impose asystem of financial controls over the $800-millionprocessed foods conglomerate. The thirty-eight-year-old Marant was able to accomplish this ini-tial objective. His controls were of some value insalvaging the company when it lost $36 millionfour years ago. Paradoxically, Marant's tight con-trols led to his recent downfall.

Insiders say controls were an obsession withMarant. He centralized management to the pointof frustrating leading executives in the company.His insistence on checking and rechecking causedmany delays in decision making. Operations werevirtually strangled in paperwork and electronicmessages. An example is that Great Southern'smost recent annual report claimed that the com-pany would spend $8 million this year to opentwenty-five more processing operations. Yet sixmonths into the fiscal year, little work has beendone on the projects. Because of Marant's insist-ence on such a thorough analysis of each project,decisions have been postponed.

Such delayed decision making can be particularlyharmful in the fast-moving field of processedfoods. The constant parade of new products inthis field makes quick reaction a necessity. A hu-man resources director said: ''Marant's situation isa perfect example of how a bungling presidentcan mess up a company and bring about his owndemise." The same director was among the fifteenpeople participating in a palace revolt whenMarant was stripped of his authority.

A downward turning point for Marant came whentwo inside directors, Joe Palaggi and DeanWilson, became upset about the company's leth-argy in the fall. During the same time span, anumber of key managers in Great Southern hadcomplained to Palaggi and Wilson that Marant'sleadership style had been demoralizing. When itseemed that Marant was about to fire two keygeneral managers, Palaggi and Wilson blew thewhistle. They went to an outside director to ex-plain how the company was heading toward arapid decline. Palaggi and Wilson spearheaded adrive to build a dossier on Marant's shortcomingsas a company president.

The end for Marant came when Palaggi, Wilson,and three outside directors met in Atlanta. A spe-cial board meeting was called. Three dozen oper-ating executives threatened to quit unless Marantwas deposed from his chief executive position.The board moved swiftly, stripping Marant of histitles as president and chief operating executive.He was reassigned as vice-president of specialprojects at a 50 percent cut in pay.

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Marant said that the whole affair was a conspir-acy to remove him because he wanted to run asophisticated, finely tuned business. A confidantof Marant said that what Marant's antagonistsreally objected to was his plan to bring in twonew marketing executives from the outside. Acountercharge made by one of the inside directorsactive in Marant's dethroning was, "Frank justwasn't willing to accept the fact that you can't runa business by reading computer printouts andsending memos. If you don't get out and visit thetroops, they'll eventually get rid of you."

Marant contributed to his own demise by blindlyemploying a leadership style that may appearmodern and effective on the surface but that isbecoming obsolete. Marant focused so much oncomputerized controls that he neglected the hu-man touch of "management by wanderingaround" or "hands-on leadership." BecauseMarant's basic personality probably lends itselfto managing from a distance, he chose a leader-ship style that was a natural fit. Yet had he stud-ied current information about leadership style hemight have realized that some adjustments werenecessary. By ignoring the human relations as-pect of leadershipand therefore becoming an ob-solete executiveMarant created the conditions forbeing deposed. Marant appears also to have ig-nored early-warning signals, such as commentsfrom key personnel, that his obsession with con-trols was dysfunctional.

Have you checked out your leadership stylelately? Does it fit your current organizational cli-mate? Ask co-workers, superiors, and team lead-ers for their opinion. Make adaptations if you areout of sync with the needs of your company.

Being Controlled by Primitive Thinking Patterns

As far back as the era of Greek mythology, it hasbeen postulated that inside everyone's brain liesome primitive, angry, wild impulses seeking ex-pression. Psychologist Albert J. Bernstein labelsthese impulses the Dinosaur Brain. 12 Insideeach human brain lurks the brain of a dinosaur. Itis irrational, emotional, and easily enraged. Onemoment people are normal, rational people; thenext they are little better than reptiles. People getinto trouble when they use their primitive think-ing patterns instead of the

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rational parts of their brain. Allowing these prim-itive thinking patterns (lizard logic) to take overfrequently can be self-sabatoging. Letting loosethe Dinosaur Brain even once can sometimesseverely damage one's career.

Bill, a successful pharmaceutical sales represent-ative, was a prime candidate for promotion to di-vision sales manager. He had already had hissecond interview for an opening in West Virginia.As division manager, Bill would never have tomake another sales call except to observe a juniorsales representative. After nine years of selling,Bill had had enough of spending so much timedriving to physicians' offices. He was also frus-trated because the physicians granted him so littleof their time, and he rarely received a warm wel-come. Bill often felt he was wasting his time.

Bill was confident that he would be promoted tothe division manager position within the nextthirty days. Now was his one chance to act out along-standing fantasy. He wanted physicians tocome to him, instead of the reverse. Bill leasedtemporary office space and a secretary. Hecovered most of these expenses with his ownmoney, and hoped to hide some of the costs in anexpense report. Bill then telephoned each physi-cian in his territory, inviting them all to his officeto hear his presentation on an individual basis. Ifonly a handful of physicians accepted the invita-tion, Bill thought it would be well worth his time,effort, and money.

To Bill's chagrin, not one single physician con-sidered his invitation. To Bill's shock, his divisionmanager found out what he had done and, withthe support of top management, had Bill fired im-mediately. 13

What Bill did was to give free rein to his primit-ive thinking pattern. Welled up inside of Bill wasan uncontrollable urge to have physicians cometo him for product demonstrations. Many sales-people have the same fantasy. When a product orservice is in high demand, it can happen thatpeople knock on your door. If Bill's companyhad offered a clinically proven cure for AIDSthat retailed for $5.00 per dose, physicians mighthave rushed to his office. Poor Bill was allowinglizard logic to prevail. He should have disclosedhis fantasy plan to a confidant before implement-ing itespecially the idea of funding it in part withcompany money.

Your primitive thinking pattern can be controlled(and one form of self-sabotage avoided) by fol-lowing Bernstein and Rozen's suggestions:

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Stop and think. In dealing with another person,or acting alone, think before you act [Bill didn't].

Listen to your heart, literally. If your heart rate isup, you are probably too emotional to thinkclearly. Calm down before acting or deciding.

Hold your immediate response. Especially in anargument, your first response may be dominatedby lizard logic.

Ask yourself, "What do I want to happen?" Baseyour actions on your goal, particularly on whatyou want to achieve in the long term. Bill wantedphysicians to come to his door, but he didn'twant to sacrifice his promotion to division man-ager. He should have coordinated his efforts withhis boss.

If the other person is yelling, do not act until heor she stops. Say something like, "Can you runthat by me slowly?"

Remember that explaining your point of viewwill not help. Defending yourself and explainingreflect primitive thinking because they are partof fighting back. First identify the problem caus-ing the altercation between you and another per-son, then offer your explanation.

Let the other person know that you have heard.Restate what you have heard with a phrase suchas "You're upset because we didn't deliver theequipment when you needed it."

Ask, "What would you like me to do?" Volunteer-ing to assist another person forces him or her toact rationally toward you, and will prompt you todo something constructive.

State what you want. It is better to rationally ex-plain what you want than to attack the other per-son. For example, "I need you to lower yourprice $3.00 per unit" is better than "You're over-charging me."

Negotiate. Failure to negotiate can be self-sabot-aging.

Get verbal encouragement for what you bothhave agreed to do. Say something like, "You willrate me above average on my performance if Ican increase my productivity by 25 percent dur-ing the next two quarters."

Let the other person have the last word. Theprimitive thinking in us wants the parting shot,but this can undo all the good

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that's been accomplished in problem solvingwith the other person. 14

Imposing a Crippling Workload on Oneself

Carrying a heavy workload is impressive tohigher-ups. It demonstrates ambition and a com-mitment to the organization. But carried too far,it becomes self-defeating. A bone-crunchingworkload may create so much stress that ourjudgment, concentration, and accuracy suffer.Furthermore, we may lose perspective and workin a mechanical, noncreative fashion. As a result,quality suffers.

As we attempt to do more and more analytical orpaperwork, we typically neglect building rela-tionships with people. Grinding away at one'sdesk or at the controls of a computer is true pro-ductivity to the workaholic, whereas dealingwith others is time away from real work. Losingcontact with people is self-defeating, of course,for managers and professionals.

The quality problem is critical. If you produceshoddy work, it will not be forgiven just becauseyour workload is excessive. People will remem-ber the shoddy work, not the fact that it shouldbe attributed to overwork.

Kerri, a computer programmer, was already undersevere stress from working seventy-five hours aweek. Part of her heavy workload could be attrib-uted to her willingness to help more people thanher job description required. Kerri was also thepresident of the local computer science society.One day she was assigned the task of modifyingsoftware so that it would run the laser printers justpurchased by the firm. One hundred copies of themodified software were distributed throughoutthe company. Within days, Kerri was floodedwith phone calls from users who insisted theprinter wouldn't work properly with the modifiedsoftware. Letters and reports throughout the com-pany were delayed while Kerri attempted to findthe error. She rectified the problem within a day,and sent corrected disks to everyone. The prob-lem was fixed, but Kerri's reputation was dam-aged. She was identified as the programmer whocreated chaos, and was passed over for promo-tion.

A self-imposed crippling workload occurs whenwe voluntarily grab on to more work than we canhandle. When the heavy

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load is imposed by the organization, you havesome responsibility for informing your bossabout the situation. For example, you could say:"I'm working sixty hours per week at top speed. Istill can't get everything done. You expect qual-ity work from me, and I want to give it. How canI get help from somebody in our firm who has alittle slack time?"

A secondary technique for preventing a punitiveworkload from becoming self-sabotaging is todeal with the stress that is causing the problemsin concentration, judgment, and quality. If youcannot reduce the workload that is causing thestress, choose a sensible method of stress man-agement. Find one that is time-efficient, such asjogging around your neighborhood or visualizinga peaceful scene, to avoid loading your schedulefurther. Every bookstore and library has avail-able books, videocassettes, and audiocassettesdealing with stress management. In addition,most community centers conduct stress-manage-ment programs.

Revenge Through Poor Performance

In response to criticism and punishment, or eventhe threat of punishment, some people becomepassive-aggressive. They do not perform as ex-pected (passive) in order to take revenge (ag-gressive). Occasional heel-dragging is under-standable, but when prolonged or intense it isself-sabotaging. A woman in line for a companypresidency allowed her desire for revenge to dis-qualify her completely:

Ever since Preferred Investments was establishedtwenty-five years ago, Bill Axelrod and JaneWalton had been president and executive vice-president respectively. Bill's pending retirement ina year made it necessary to name a successorsoon. To strengthen the organization, Bill hiredBrittany Farmer, a young and intelligent financialanalyst, as a staff assistant.

Jane immediately perceived Brittany as a threat toher chances of becoming president. The smoothworking relationship between Bill and Jane thathad existed in the past quickly changed. WhenJane, Bill, and Brittany were in the same officetogether, tension was apparent. Jane became pro-gressively more intimidated. Instead of confront-ing Bill with her concerns, she chose to rebel bydiminishing her work output. She began comingto work an hour later than starting time, tookextra-long lunch

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breaks, and left work early. At times she wouldleave work for a quick trip to a nearby bar, thenreturn semi-intoxicated.

Bill spoke to Jane several times about her unac-ceptable job behavior, and told her that if shedidn't return to normal she would be fired. Duringthe time of Jane's deteriorating performance, Brit-tany was working extra-long hours and dedicatingherself to the company. Jane's performanceslipped further, and Bill finally asked her toresign. Brittany was awarded the presidency. 15

Bill and Brittany were hardly innocent lambs inthis episode. Rumors circulated that they wantedto force Jane into resigning. Nevertheless, Jane'slosing time from work and drinking on the jobwere self-defeating. She self-sabotaged by notconfronting Bill about her chances of becomingpresident and by not dealing properly with herdisturbed emotions. If discussing the situationwith Brittany did not help Jane regain her equi-librium, she should have sought professionalcounseling. Jane's family can also be faulted fornot intervening in some way, as, for instance, bygiving her the support she needed when she wasfloundering.

Staying in a Downward Spiral

As the process of career self-sabotage begins, thesaboteur often digs himself or herself into adeeper and deeper hole. For example, a personaccused of being a poor team player may becomesuspicious of others and thereby create condi-tions that are even less conducive to cooperatingwith the group. The story of Phil, a commandingofficer of a naval reserve unit, illustrates how thepotential downward spiral in career self-sabotageworks.

Lieutenant Commander Phil's naval career startedout with great promise. He graduated from col-lege in the Naval Reserve Officer's Training Pro-gram, then entered active duty as an ensign.While on active duty, Phil earned an MBA degreewith tuition paid by the navy. Phil performed wellon his assignments and received promotions on orbefore schedule.

Three years ago, Phil was given the desirable as-signment of head of base intelligence at Norfolk,Virginia. His fitness reports were outstanding forthe first two years of the assignment. Then duringone inspection, several criticisms were made ofhis operation. They included an allegation that

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security was not as tightly controlled as possible.Shocked by the charges, Phil was disrespectful tohis superior. He sarcastically commented that thisofficer was not qualified to evaluate securitymeasures. The disrespect led to a very poor of-ficer fitness report.

Phil was passed over for promotion the next timehe was eligible. Phil became embittered, and thenavy assigned him to command a reserve centerin Detroit. Realizing that he was now in a lessprestigious assignment, Phil became more sullen.Several officers below him in the command pur-posely leaked the news to higher command thatPhil had become negligent in some of his re-sponsibilities. Phil was again passed over for pro-motion, and because of this lost his commission.Having left the military before serving his fulltwenty years has made it difficult for Phil to findcivilian employment at a suitable level. 16

Lieutenant Commander Phil is in a downwardspiral that began with a negative evaluation ofthe security procedures under his command. It isunfortunate, but forgivable, that Phil behaved ir-rationally once (by showing disrespect for a su-perior officer). The poor fitness report he re-ceived started Phil on his downward spiral. In-stead of sabotaging himself, Phil could have re-covered the ground lost by saying to a superior:"My fitness reports haven't been as good as Iwould like. I would welcome any suggestionsyou have that might help me to regain my repu-tation."

Phil could then have responded positively to oneof his superior's constructive suggestions. Whena person is spiraling toward self-defeat, even onepositive experience can initiate a countercycle. Ifyou should be unfortunate enough to be caughtin a downward spiral, reach out for help. Get onesales order, one compliment, one warm smile ofcongratulations to help you get back on a successtrack.

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6Self-Sabotage at the Top

Some people wait until they become senior-levelmanagers before they begin to sabotage their ca-reers. It's not that these executives are con-sciously trying to self-destruct. The problem isthat the nature of an executive's job exerts manysubtle pressures leading to self-sabotage. By be-ing an executive, some formerly rational andhappy people are tempted into self-defeating be-havior. One example is the temptation to carryoff enormous personal profits. Many of the WallStreet deal makers who have been convicted ofillegal transactions were not so gluttonous earlierin their careers. But placed in an executive posi-tion, and immune from the scrutiny of others,they became greedy on a grand scale.

In this chapter, I examine several aspects of ex-ecutive self-sabotage, including the built-in haz-ards at the top and the most common forms ofself-sabotage. I also explain how you can avoidexecutive self-sabotage and continue to enjoy thehappy and productive career that enabled you tobecome a top executive in the first place.

Psychological Hazards of Being at the Top

It is always puzzling why some managers derailwhen they attain executive status. Why dopeople who are intelligent, interpersonally skill-ful, and well adjusted suddenly "lose it" whenthey become chief executive officers? A plaus-ible reason is that certain psychological forcescome into play. Some of these forces are withinthe executive, and others are within the subordin-ates. Whatever their source, they can create amultitude of problems. 1

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One problem is that occupying a top leadershipposition can be isolating. Instead of havingpeers, the top executive is separated from others.As a result, the executive's normal dependencyneeds for contact, support, and reassurance arefrustrated. The executive becomes overwhelmedand uncertain. In response to these confused feel-ings, some executives become hostile towardtheir key people.

A second problem is that, consciously or uncon-sciously, employees expect their leaders to be in-fallible and gifted with magical powers. A newpresident was brought into an organizationtroubled by a declining customer base and erod-ing morale. Employees throughout the organiza-tion waited for him to make substantial improve-ments. But instead of taking any dramatic action,the president continued to spend time introdu-cing himself to people and studying the organiz-ation's problems.

Hoping for an immediate solution to their prob-lems, the employees became increasinglyanxious and angry. They began to mock the ex-ecutive behind his back and to show signs offrustration when dealing with him face to face.As a consequence, the executive became unsureof himself and more tentative in his actions.

A third psychological force is that the executivemay have guilt feelings about his or her successand fear that it will not last. The combined forceof the guilt and the fear leads these executives tounconsciously cause themselves to fail. The ex-ecutive may do such seemingly irrational thingsas provoking disputes with major customers orfiring well-liked old-timers.

The three forces just described can combine toadversely affect a leader, as illustrated in the fol-lowing case history:

As a result of the unexpected death of his prede-cessor, Ted Howell was appointed president of theLatrix Corporation. The company manufacturesand sells electronic equipment. Howell had beenfound with the help of a headhunter who hadhighly recommended him. He had previously helda senior staff position in a company in the sameline of business. Howell's knowledge of the in-dustry had been a key factor in convincing Lat-rix's board to take him on.

Soon after his arrival, Latrix's board memberssaw signs that Howell was having difficulties indealing with the pressures of the job. A number of

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rash decisions made in his first week at the office were the first indication oftrouble. But in spite of these mistakes, everything initially turned out better thanexpected. First, one of the company's main competitors went out of business,which freed up an important segment of the market. Second, one of Howell'semployees came up with an excellent marketing idea that he quickly adoptedand that proved very successful. Some executives were disturbed because theircolleague never received credit for it. Nevertheless, these two factors helped getLatrix back into the black.

Unfortunately, this success apparently went to Howell's head. After the turn-around, he embarked on a dramatic expansion program, ignoring cautionary re-marks made by his employees, consultants, and bankers. He took other steps, in-cluding the relocation of the company's headquarters to what Howell thoughtwere more suitable surroundings. Howell also spearheaded the acquisition of anexpensive company plane.

These two actions put a heavy strain on the company's finances. Those execut-ives who expressed disagreement or concern about the new moves were fired.Consultants who suggested that Howell change course suffered the same fate. Inthe end, only sycophants who were willing to go along with his grandioseschemes and accept his aggressive outbursts were left.

As expected, the unrealistic plans and high expenditures put the company intothe red. However, Howell was unwilling to admit his role in the debacle. Whenquestioned at directors' meetings, he would become defensive and deny any re-sponsibility for the losses. Instead, he would blame them on faculty moves madeby his predecessor or on vindictive action taken by executives no longer in hisemploy. In his opinion, an upturn was just around the corner. To an increasingnumber of board members, however, Howell's behavior was becoming unaccept-able. Eventually, having become impatient with the continuing losses and withHowell's imperious, paranoid behavior, they managed to remove him. 2

The situation of Ted Howell and others like him is not hopeless. Execut-ives should be aware of the psychological forces that are potential troublespots. To prevent stress reactions and irrational behavior from surfacing,executive leaders should engage in a regular process of critical self-evalu-ation. Leaders might attempt to answer these questions:

__ How accessible am I?

__ How do I react to bad news or criticism from group members?

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__ Am I able to discuss any problems or ideas with colleagues?

__ Do I think of my employees in terms of those who are ''with" me versusthose who are "against" me?

__ How realistic is my vision of the company's future? Is there a large dis-crepancy between my perspective and that of others?

__ Am I willing to accept responsibility if things go wrong, or do I blameothers?

__ Am I quick to take offense and to feel unfairly treated? Do I have agreat need to blow my own horn?

__ Do I feel anxious and guilty when I am successful?

__ Do I have difficulty believing that my success results from my own ac-complishments rather than from sheer luck?

Stopping to answer these questions serves as a reality check. It is an im-portant process because the potential for losing touch with reality is espe-cially acute in executives.

Executives can take preventive action in another way. Encouraging frankfeedback from outsiders, such as board members and consultants, can helpcounteract the psychological forces that have a sabotaging impact. Peoplefrom outside the organization often have an objective viewpoint, and maybe willing to criticize an executive. Kets de Vries urges selecting a strong,independent board that is really willing to enforce its auditing role. An ob-jective board might have told Howell that he was behaving irrationally.And Howell might have been able to prevent self-sabotage if had askedthe board, early on, for feedback on his performance and behavior. Thecompany, too, might have fared much better.

Abuse of Power

Power can be an intoxicant. Sooner or later, many executives are temptedto see how far they can stretch the power and prerogatives stemming fromtheir positions. The most common form of power abuse is coercing em-ployees into doing things that go way

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beyond their job descriptions. This would in-clude demanding that employees spend companytime running personal errands for them.

Demanding sexual favors from employees is an-other way of coercing people into going beyondtheir job descriptions. Current thinking on sexualharassment looks upon this practice as an abuseof power. Although the law is on the subordin-ate's side, he or she often feels pressured intosubmitting to the sexual advances of an organiz-ationally more powerful superior. Executivepower abuse can also take the form of misappro-priating company resources, such as using com-pany cars and planes for personal use.

Abusing power is self-sabotaging because theexecutive is rarely an absolute monarch. Theboard of directors, an outside agency, or the em-ployees themselves will find a suitable way ofgetting even. Such was the fate of a high schoolprincipal, as described by a guidance counselorwho worked at the school:

Quentin, our principal, became the center of astormy controversy. At first, he was well likedand respected by everybody. Quentin would talkto students in the hallway. He would listen to theconcerns of faculty, staff, and students. His pop-ularity was so high that he was the leading can-didate for becoming the next superintendent ofthe school district. All the members of the schoolboard were in favor of Quentin assuming that po-sition.

Quentin's popularity soon took a nose dive,however. Some serious allegations arose that ledto an internal investigation by the school. He hadbeen spotted late at night siphoning gasoline outof the school bus fuel tanks into his own car. Theinvestigators concluded that Quentin had been do-ing this for about two years. He was also found tobe using the school postage machine to mailmany of his personal letters. Another charge wasthat Quentin had occasionally borrowed theschool district's four-wheel drive truck to tow hisboat to the lake on weekends. The caper was soeasy to spot. The school's name was on bothdoors of the truck.

The controversy over Quentin's behavior becameeven more heated when he and the school nursedeveloped a relationship. They frequently came toschool and left together. The affair with the nurseled to a separation from his wife. Quentin and thenurse announced their engagement after Quentinand his wife's divorce came through.

As a result of all these actions, Quentin's contractwas not renewed. Rather than put up with thecontinuing gossip, Quentin's new wife resigned.

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The two of them then left town. When last heardof, Quentin was planning to work in a family-owned whiskey store. His wife was looking fornew employment as a school nurse. 3

Quentin may have a difficult time recapturingthe status and admiration he enjoyed as a highschool principal. His present marriage may besatisfying, but he probably suffers from havingleft his children behind. Quentin stretched hisformal powers beyond their limits. He didn't ownthe gasoline he stole, the truck he misappropri-ated, or the school postage meter he used. Hisposition as principal didn't exempt him from thetaboos about flaunting his romance with theschool nurse while still married.

How might Quentin have averted the chaos thatovertook his career? What he failed to do was toquestion his actions. As he siphoned gas underthe moonlight, he might have said, "Is what I amdoing at this present moment making anysense?"

As he towed his boat with the school truck or ranhis personal mail through the school postage ma-chine, he should have asked, "Why am I flaunt-ing my power?" As he arrived at work in themorning with the nurse, he (and the nurse)should have asked, "What am I trying to prove?This is a conservative town, which has a veryconservative school board. Do I want both of usto be fired for being inappropriate role models?"

Anytime your actions veer too far from thenorms of your employer, occupation, or commu-nity, ask yourself some of the questions Quentinshould have asked. The most universally applic-able of them is, "Is what I am doing at thispresent moment making any sense?" Finding an-swers to questions such as these takes consider-able self-understanding. Asking them repeatedly,in addition to checking out your perceptions withanother person, will help hone your insights.

Insensitivity to the Human Relationship Factor

Many an executive has made a mistake in hand-ling people while trying to be productivity-minded and highly analytical. Ignoring the hu-man factor is often a by-product of becoming ob-sessed with controls and financial analysis. (Re-member Frank Marant,

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the food conglomerate executive who spent somuch time with computerized controls that heneglected his management team?) Ignoring theimportance of human relationships can be self-sabotaging because most management systemsfail without effective teamwork.

A related problem occurs when an executivetakes literally all traditional notions about man-agement. The result could be so mechanistic thatyou could lose the support of the people you aretrying to manage. Phyllis, a newly appointedstore executive at one branch of a chain of home-improvement centers, fell into this trap. Shortlyafter arriving on the scene, she decided to reor-ganize the branch. In the process, she broke upthe old cliques of people who had worked to-gether as teammates on various projects. Here iswhat happened, as described by one of the teamleaders:

Phyllis thought she was a productivity expert. Sheconcluded that we were goof-offs. Her reasoningwas that the members of each team had becomebuddies as well as work associates. Phyllis hopedthat by forming new teams, productivity wouldincrease. The opposite proved to be true. Wemissed the loose and easy work practices that wehad had in the past. Being out on assignment withmy team was more like fixing up my own housethan being paid an hourly wage to fix up some-body else's place. Now the old feeling of ca-maraderie was gone.

I tried to explain to Phyllis that the reorganizationwas a mistake. But she wouldn't listen. Insteadshe kept stressing the importance of increasingproductivity and the fact that she wasn't in thehappiness business. With four new teams created,many problems arose. Cooperation declined.People became huffy about which responsibilitywas theirs versus which responsibility was some-body else's. All of a sudden people became veryrigid about taking a full lunch break and leaving ajob early enough to wash up.

Phyllis pleaded with us to improve productivity,and threatened us with firings if the situationdidn't improve. Profits were sinking and she waslooking bad in top management's eyes. The moreshe urged us to get our work done faster, the morewe dragged our heels. Nobody was willing to res-cue Phyllis because she had ignored our requeststo maintain systems that had worked for severalyears.

Phyllis finally recognized that breaking up the oldteams and forming new ones was unworkable. Soshe reorganized us back into our original teams.Something had been lost in the process. The timewe spent complet-

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ing a job showed a spurt of improvement. Yet wenever reached the level of productivity we had at-tained before Phyllis arrived. She finally resigned.I think top management helped her reach that de-cision.

Glossing over the importance of human relation-ships in teamwork proved to be self-sabotagingfor Phyllis. She was not aware that giving teammembers a say in choosing teammates is likelyto improve productivity. Even is Phyllis was notaware of that tidbit of human relations know-ledge, she could have avoided a serious careersetback. Phyllis should have solicited input fromexperienced workers before plowing ahead withher reorganization. If asked, the team leaderswould undoubtedly have explained why theirsystem of self-selected teams was working.

Part of Phyllis's problem was that she had be-come too smug and self-contained. She began tobelieve that she did not need help from others inmaking decisions. Are you falling into the sametrap? When was the last time you asked some-body for advice before plunging ahead with amajor decision? The best decision makers areconfident, but not so smug as to avoid the inputof others.

Delegation Problems

Virtually all executives have heard or studiedabout the importance of properly delegating au-thority and tasks. Nevertheless, many of themcontinue to have problems in under- or over-delegation. Because delegation is the lifeblood ofcollective effort, ineffective delegation can beself-sabotaging.

Underdelegation

Most of us have worked for a manager who at-tempted to do most of the significant work him-self or herself. Such managers work longer hoursthan anybody else in the office, make all the im-portant decisions, and constantly check on thework of group members. They make it difficultfor their subordinates to grow and develop. As aresult, their more talented people often leave.Another problem with underdelegation is that theexecutive

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doesn't capitalize on the suggestions for im-provement coming from team members.

Kelly Gillen, an entrepreneurial executive, exper-ienced many of these problems. Kelly's is a groupof three deep-discount drugstores that she foun-ded. Each store sells brand merchandise at an av-erage of 45 percent below list price. Althoughcalled drugstores, these outlets sell hundreds ofitems in addition to pharmaceuticals, includingstationery, watches, laundry materials, gardensupplies, and beauty aids. By comparison withsome discount stores, Kelly's sells only high-qual-ity merchandise. Kelly explains why and how shestarted her own business:

I had a wonderful career with a big chain. Theyhired me as a store manager trainee right after Icompleted my degree in business. At age 21, Isaw no limits to my potential as a retailing exec-utive. My career dreams were coming true. At age35, I was promoted to a merchandising vice pres-ident. One year later I faced a career setback. Mycompany was bought by a larger chain and theydecided to cut most of our home-office staff. Iwas given six-months' severance pay.

I couldn't find the job I wanted in my town. Ididn't want to relocate either because of my hus-band and two children. Then it hit me that ourcity lacked a quality deep-discounter. So I foun-ded Kelly's with some of my own cash, a home-equity loan, and money borrowed from a com-mercial bank. Getting started, I did everythingthat needed doing in the store, often working sev-enty hours per week. I merchandised. I unjammedcash registers. I hired employees. I even helpedunload a truck when two of our warehouse em-ployees were out sick. The business was an im-mediate success, and I was able to expand to twomore locations.

Despite the fact that demand for our retailingconcept is still strong, I've run into some seriousinternal problems. My managers are rebelling.Griff, my most senior manager, told me I keephim on too short a leash. He told me it drives himup the wall when I straigthen out merchandise inhis store. The last straw for him was when I toldone of his supervisors to go home and change intoa freshly ironed blouse. Griff quit in anger.

Bridget, my most recent hire, has already told meshe can't breathe. She says that although I'm a re-tailing wiz, I shouldn't be telling her how to doeverything. The way I look at it, I founded thebusiness, so I should be making the big decisions.

Milt, my third manager, is an older man whoseexperience adds credibility to his opinion. He toldme Kelly's could be expanding regionally by nowif I weren't such a one-person band. Milt says thatmy striving for perfection is killing potentialgrowth. He claims that because I have to approveeverything, there are too many delays.

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I think I can still realize my dreams of takingKelly's national. That's if I can change my ways.With my reputation, I may have some trouble hir-ing some new managers.

So far, Kelly Gillen has only given herself aminor wound in the foot. Fortunately, she hadenough managerial skill to listen to the criticalfeedback from her team members. It won't beeasy, but Kelly now has enough insight to beginto let go. If she can comfortably grant decision-making authority to her team members, herdreams of expanding her empire may come true.

Overdelegation

Overgenerous delegation can be self-sabotagingin two ways. One problem is that the overdeleg-ator can appear underoccupied, overly detached,and downright lazy to others. Executives whohave delegated most of their work to others arelikely to be perceived as superfluous. This putstheir jobs at risk. Not to engage in at least someimportant work is therefore politically self-de-feating for an executive.

Overdelegation can also lead to self-sabotage be-cause it results in a loss of control. The executivewho delegates too much, and establishes nocheckpoints, may lose touch with the organiza-tion's problems. People down the organizationalline are hesitant to tell top management aboutserious operating problems. The chief executivewho does not actively solicit such informationmay not know about major problems until disas-ter has already struck.

Nolan Bushnell, the creative spark behind Atariand other businesses, has had substantial prob-lems with overdelegation. At Atari, he and othermembers of top management were unaware of amassive inventory buildup of computers on deal-ers' shelves. By the time they were informed ofthe problem, it had brought Atari to the brink ofbankruptcy. He had similar problems at PizzaTime, another of his business ventures. When hefinally paid attention to these problems it wastoo late. Bushnell analyzes what happened (asquoted in When Smart People Fail):

We were emaciated managerially. In a food fran-chise business, managers can move [to other com-panies] quickly, due

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to the competition. I simply had not realized howfragile my management was. Often, when I wentto make collections, I would find a nineteen-year-old kid in charge of the store. It was really termin-al, and I just hadn't paid attention." 4

Bushnell thus contributed to the sabotage of hisbusiness, and to himself because he was a prin-cipal. Other entrepreneurs who derive theirthrills from starting rather than operating a busi-ness face a similar potential for self-sabotage.They can prevent such self-defeating overdelega-tion by studying the subject of managementmore seriously. A constructive attitude execut-ives can take toward a management developmentprogram is: "Okay, this material might be inter-esting, but how does it relate to me personally?How can it make me a better manager?"

To help find the balance between underdelega-tion and over-delegation, keep these suggestionsfor effective delegation in mind. By so doing youwill avoid one more potential form of self-sabot-age.

1. Assign duties to the right people. Withoutcompetent team members, delegation can back-fire.

2. Grant people sufficient authority to accom-plish the delegated tasks. You will be perceivedas an underdelegator if your team members lackthe clout to accomplish their mission.

3. Retain some important tasks for yourself.Managers need to retain some high-output andsensitive tasks to perform by themselves. In gen-eral, any task that involves the survival of yourunit should be handled by you.

4. Recognize that managers cannot delegate fi-nal accountability. You are not off the hook justbecause you delegated something.

5. Provide the necessary support to those receiv-ing the delegated task. If you do not help teammembers get the job done, the delegation mayfail.

6. Be willing to let others make mistakes. If youdon't give team members the freedom to fail, youwill be perceived as an underdelegator. Besides,spending so much time helping people avoidmistakes defeats the purpose of delegation.

7. Trust others. Delegation will be severelyhampered or will

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not take place at all if you do not trust the peoplereporting to you. Frequent checking destroys del-egation.

8. Step back from details. The biggest problemof the underdelegator is getting too involved intechnical skills.

9. Recognize that the manager is a coach, not aplayer. Your role is not to do all the tasks but tohelp others accomplish theirs.

Failure to Groom a Successor

A major reason executives do not train suc-cessors is that they are insecure. They fear thatthey will be declared redundant if a replacementis readily available. In the current era ofslimmed-down organizations, there is some meritto their logic. A higher authority might terminatean executive when a competent successor iswaiting to fill the position. On balance, however,it is self-sabotaging not to train a replacement. Itmakes the executive appear weak and unprofes-sional. Not training a successor is also self-de-feating because it may block the executive frombeing chosen for an even bigger assignment. Acase in point is Geraldo, who was blocked frombecoming a vice-president of a national trade as-sociation. Geraldo's explanation for the impassewas this:

My boss cannot promote me unless I can find agood associate director who can replace me. It'stoo bad, but the associate director I have now willnever be ready to take my place. She just doesn'tknow how to handle major responsibility.

The associate director has a different perceptionof why she is not considered ready for promotionto director: "On several occasions the directoragreed that I should complete an important as-signment. But within twenty-four hours Geraldoturns around and says he would rather do it him-self. He won't give me the chance to get the ex-perience I need to be prepared to become the dir-ector.

Geraldo likes to set unrealistic goals for me. Thismakes it very hard for me to meet deadlines. Re-cently he gave me a fund-raising goal that was 20percent higher than the previous year despite adownward trend in gift giving in our area. When Icame in below target, Geraldo just couldn't under-stand what went wrong. He tells me I can't handlebig jobs, but he hands me impossible tasks.

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I'm not alone in my viewpoint. During Geraldo'sreign, there have been three other associate direct-ors who have been either pushed out of the organ-ization or demoted. Geraldo likes to get involvedin day-to-day details instead of spending most ofhis time out in the community. A director shouldspend most of his or her time networking outsidethe organization. He also expects unrealistic turn-around times. When things can't be done in thetime frame he wants, he puts you down as beingunable to handle big responsibility.

Geraldo has just reorganized the department. Hisnew structure will make it even more difficult forhim to be replaced by an associate director. I amgoing to be demoted to a team leader position,and Geraldo is promoting a secretary to becomehis assistant. Since the assistant is not a profes-sional position, she would be out of the questionas a potential director. 5

Geraldo's surface problem is that he has failed togroom a successor. Underlying this problem arepoor delegation practices. He takes back interest-ing work and he sets unrealistic goals. Geraldo'sproblems could be deep-rooted. He claims towant to be promoted to a vice-president, but hisshoddy management practices and his recent de-partmental reorganization are revealing. Theysuggest that he may be trying to undermine hisown promotion. Geraldo should sort out his feel-ings about career acceleration. If he is convincedthat he really does want to become a vice-presid-ent, he can establish a sensible plan for groominga successor.

Vacillation over Major Decisions

Some people who have been reasonably decisiveas middle managers become indecisive once theyreach a senior position. A major problem is thatthe consequences of an executive's decisions aregreater. If the executive makes a wrong decision,he or she will be perceived as ineffective. Afterall, decision making is the true measure of an ex-ecutive. If an unpopular decision is made, the ex-ecutive will incur resentment.

As a result of these fears, vacillating executiveschoose one of two courses of action. One is todelegate decision-making responsibilities to keysubordinates, or, in some cases, to a

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superior. (This is difficult for a chief executive officer to do.) Another course is to take no action atall in the hope that the problem calling for a decision will resolve itself. For example, an executivemight delay firing a subordinate in the hope that he or she will quit or take early retirement.

Howard, a chief hospital administrator, exemplifies the executive who avoids making decisions forboth reasons. He fears being seen as wrong and therefore as ineffective. And he also wants to avoidresentment.

Nicknamed The Human Cipher by his subordinates, Howard is nevertheless admired by some for his cautious-ness, restraint, and ability to look at problems from a balanced point of view. One day Howard received a letterfrom a patient complaining about inadequate hospital facilities. Three pages in length, the letter includedcharges that the water carafes were unclean and that the bed sheets were abrasive. Of greater significance, theirate patient implied that she was thinking of filing a malpractice suit in relation to her foot operation. Howardreplied:

Dear Ms. Fitzhugh:

Your letter to this hospital has been referred to my department. It has been read by me personally. I will invest-igate and report back to you at a later date.

Another incident provides further understanding of Howard's reluctance to commit himself to a course of action.A new company in the community acted as a service bureau to hospitals and other organizations by taking com-plete charge of client billings. When the company representative was referred to Howard, his response was: ''Adecision of this nature can only be reached after a prolonged group study of the problem."

Howard sees himself as an effective manager. "I believe strongly in delegating responsibility," he says. "Thereare few decisions that the top executive must make. In a well-trained unit every person is capable of making de-cisions that affect his or her own welfare. I try to lead, not push. [At this point Howard takes a piece of stringout of his pocket and places it on top of the desk. He demonstrates that pushing the string won't move it.However, when it is pulled, or led, it moves quickly.] An effective manager has a clean desk. He or she shouldbe thinking, not doing."

Managers like Howard who avoid making important decisions are usually destined to failure. Ultim-ately, they will be deposed. They have been indecisive in order to protect their self

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esteem. But being indecisive eventually hurtstheir self-esteem as they fail. To avoid self-sabot-aging indecisiveness, the executives in questionmust find other ways of satisfying their needs forself-esteem and for being liked. The methodsthey choose must be ones that do not interferewith their decision making. For example, an ex-ecutive can inspire the admiration of others bydoing good in the community. Eric Flamholtzand Yvonne Randle, two management consult-ants and authors of The Inner Game of Manage-ment, offer these three suggestions for overcom-ing executive indecisiveness on the job:

1. Vacillating executives who are informationseekers need to learn to become risk takers. Theymust develop the courage to make decisionswithout complete information. One helpful ap-proach is to set a time limit for gathering all in-formation relevant to a decision. When the timelimit is reached, the executive must make a de-cision with or without complete information.Waiting too long to make a decision can be disas-trous. A tenet of crisis management, for example,is to act quickly when a crisis (such as a poisonedbatch of product) is at hand. Further delay maycause irreversible negative consequences such asconsumer sentiment building up against the com-pany.

2. Vacillators who are buck passers need to learnto accept the decision-making responsibilities ofmanagers. They must confront the reality thatalong with the privileges of being an executivecomes the responsibility of making key decisions.

3. Vacillators who agonize over decisions facingthem must learn to act on their beliefs about thebest course of action. They must become awarethat procrastinating about major decisions onlyresults in a loss of respect from superiors, subor-dinates, and co-workers. A helpful approach is topractice making a decision within a reasonabletime frame, and then making an effort not toworry about it. After a while vacillators will ex-perience the feeling that making decisions is morecomfortable than agonizing about them. 6

The Godfather or Godmother

The Godfather or Godmother executive is styledafter the underworld character who requires sub-mission to his power in return

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for patronage and generosity. 7 To be liked by a"Godparent," you must continually defer to hisor her superior judgment and wisdom. The sanc-tions for not submitting to the Godparent includebeing transferred or demoted, receiving bad as-signments, or even being fired for trumped-upreasons.

Godparents have a compelling need to controlgroup members. Sometimes the purpose ofpulling people's strings is self-protection. Aslong as people are controlled, they cannot rebel.Another purpose of controlling group membersis to humiliate them in order to decrease one'sown feelings of inadequacy.

The Godparent approach to executive leadershipis often self-sabotaging. The strong need for con-trol characteristic of Godparents prompts them toinsist that members of the organization acknow-ledge their superiority. To maintain this attitude,they implement two strategies. The first involveshiring weak people or keeping on the payrollpeople who are loyal but not necessarily compet-ent. These people remain under the Godfather'sor Godmother's control because they respect theexecutive's ability and look to him or her for dir-ection.

The second strategy involves hiring competentpeople whom the Godparent wants to dominateand control. By virtue of having strong peopleunder his or her tight control, the Godparent pro-jects an aura of strength.

Godparenting executives are detrimental to theorganization in the long run. One problem is thehighly political environment they foster. Promo-tions and raises are based on loyalty and sub-missiveness, not competence. A great deal ofpolitical infighting takes place, as subordinatescompete with each other to please the Godparent.The organization built by a Godparent may be-come a personal, private playground. Profits of-ten become a secondary consideration.

The president of a company, who could affordwhatever he wished, liked to be "entertained" byvendors seeking his favor. In return for lavish en-tertainments, he would purchase materials for hiscompany. However, his purchases bore no rela-tion to the company's needs. It was estimated thatthe company's inventory of raw materials wouldlast for twelve and one-half years at the currentrate of consumption. Nevertheless, the Godparentwas still buying more.8

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Another detriment to the organization is that theGodparent fails to identify and train a replace-ment. Godparents jealously guard their powerand attempt to block others from gaining the ex-perience needed to become a successor. Simil-arly, these executives block team members fromdeveloping an overall, strategic view of the or-ganization. They accomplish this by not bringingthe team together to discuss the overall strategyof the company.

Overcoming Godparent Executive Behavior

Behaving like a Godfather or Godmother is aslow and indirect form of career self-sabotage.The people the Godparent attempts to controlmay rebel and find ways of undermining his orher authority. For example, a whistle-blowermight complain to the board of directors that theGodparent deliberately hires weak people. Un-less the Godparent is the owner of the businesscomplaints will be lodged concerning excessesindulged in.

To overcome being a Godparent, your first chal-lenge is to recognize that as an executive, youcan be powerful without totally dominating oth-ers. Your self-esteem does not have to depend onbeing the strongest and most controlling person.Instead, you should attempt to receive satisfac-tion from helping others develop.

Another challenge is to increase self-acceptance.A problem that Godparent executives have isthat they feel positive about themselves onlywhen they are in control of others. Similarly,they feel competitive toward their subordinates.Taking an inventory of your other accomplish-ments in life, such as having acquired businessacumen or raised a nice family, can help you tobegin building self-acceptance. A positive conse-quence of the inventory of accomplishments ap-proach is that you can then feel positive aboutyour accomplishments without comparing your-self to others.

Playing Jekyll and Hyde

Jekyll and Hyde managers have split personalit-ies. When they deal with superiors, customers, orclients, they are pleasant,

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engaging peoplemuch like Dr. Jekyll. Yet whendealing with subordinates, they become tyrannic-almuch like Mr. Hyde. Employees who deviatefrom Mr. or Ms. Hyde's expectations are publiclyreprimanded (but not in front of Jekyll andHyde's boss). The basic strategy of such man-agers is never to allow their superiors or peers tosee their Hyde side. Consequently, their superi-ors (including board members) tend not to be-lieve a subordinate who complains that his man-ager is being tyrannical. 9 As complaints persist,however, self-sabotage begins.

Jekyll and Hyde executives and bosses actuallyhave a need to be liked by their subordinates.However, they believe this need is inconsistentwith their need to control and their need for self-esteem as an executive. They firmly believe thatan executive's main responsibility is to controlthe actions of team members so as to achieve or-ganizational objectives. Jekyll and Hyde execut-ives believe that they will enhance their self-es-teem if they do control people and get them toperform well.

The difficulty in handling people arises becauseJekyll and Hyde executives believe that beingfriendly with subordinates is inconsistent withexercising control over them. By contrast, theybelieve that being friendly with superiors is partof the executive role. This two-faced manage-ment style usually creates career self-sabotage.The Jekyll and Hyde manager's poor reputationwith subordinates ultimately arouses the suspi-cion of top management, and a formal or inform-al investigation ensues. If the results of the in-vestigation confirm the suspicions, the Jekyll andHyde executive is replaced. Such was the casewith Roger, the vice-president of claims in amedical insurance company.

Roger began his career as a management traineein the San Francisco office of a nonprofit medicalinsurance company. He quickly impressed his su-periors with his above-average productivity. Al-though abrupt with people, Roger was promotedto claims supervisor in three years. His superiorsattributed his abruptness to his strong desire toachieve high levels of productivity and to satisfyclients. Roger bragged about the short turnaroundtime on claims achieved by his unit.

Roger continued to impress his superiors with hisdedication and high performance. The turnoverrate in his unit was above average, but not highenough to sound a warning to upper management.During an exit interview

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a claims processor who had worked for Rogercomplained about his abrasiveness toward em-ployees. When Roger was confronted with this in-formation by the director of human resources, heconvinced her that these were the comments of adisgruntled, low performer. The human resourcesdirector was reasonably satisfied and decided notto share the incident with upper management.

After three more years of satisfactory perform-ance, Roger was promoted to director of claims.The vice-president of claims, noting that Rogerhad a few rough edges in handling people, hadsome reservations about promoting him, but be-cause of a freeze on hiring imposed at the time,promoted Roger nonetheless.

Roger now supervised a large staff and attendedadministrative meetings held by the CEO. Withone more promotion, Roger would become avice-president and a member of the ExecutiveCommittee. His popularity with the supervisors,however, continued to erode. Deborah, one of hissupervisors, provides a firsthand description:

Most of us knew Roger from before he was pro-moted to director. He was always a little heavy-handed with people. He used to rant and rave if aclaim was disputed, or if somebody's productivityfell too much below quota. When Roger was pro-moted to director, he became much worse. Powermust have gone to his head. Half the time in staffmeetings was devoted to his reviewing any littlemistake that had been made since the last meet-ing.

Roger would get the angriest when he thought asupervisor was not pushing employees hardenough. He didn't seem to understand that a med-ical insurance company was not the place for aslave driver. He once chewed out a supervisor infront of everybody else. He accused her of read-ing The National Enquirer on company time. Thewoman was really just taking a late lunch.

What irritates me and the other supervisors themost about Roger is that he is two-faced. Whenhe deals with the vice-presidents or important vis-itors, he becomes Prince Charming. So tactful, sopolite. It makes us gag. Roger reminds me of ahead waiter I worked for when I was a teenager.He would rant and rave when he walked into thekitchen. As soon as he went through the swingingdoors into the dining room, his snarl changed intoa smile. He was a tyrant toward the help but acharmer toward the guests.

Roger's career advancement with the companywas soon blocked. A job satisfaction survey re-vealed low morale among his staff and many neg-ative comments about his handling of people. Thehuman resources director was then asked to makea thorough review of Roger's people-handlingskills. The investigation turned up so many negat-ives that Roger was reassigned to a position as asenior systems analyst. His pride was hurt,

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but his pay was not cut. Roger is now attemptingto improve his interpersonal skills, and hopessomeday to return to a management position.

If you're a Jekyll and Hyde executive, how doyou learn to emphasize Dr. Jekyll and deemphas-ize Mr. Hyde when dealing with group mem-bers? First, you must understand that you don'thave to exercise ultimate control over subordin-ates in order to be successful. Organizationalgoals can be achieved by giving group membersthe freedom to make decisions, and by not abus-ing them for making mistakes. The Jekyll andHyde executive also has to learn that the need tobe liked can be satisfied through subordinates.Many effective leaders are adored and respectedby their group members.

The first action step is to practice showing theDr. Jekyll side of your personality to subordin-ates. Try treating them as if they were your su-periors, and then gauge their reactions. Some Je-kyll and Hyde executives fear that being cordialto subordinates will be perceived as a sign ofweakness. 10

As with the prevention of any other type of self-sabotaging behavior, the Jekyll and Hyde execut-ive must be on the alert to external signals ofproblems. For example, when the claims pro-cessor resigned, Roger might have inquiredabout the results of the exit interview. Periodicconsultation with human resources professionalscan bring to light problems in one's handling ofpeople.

Greed, Gluttony, and Avarice

During the 1980s an alarming number of financi-ers sabotaged their careers by using illegal andquasi-illegal means to amass great fortunes. Themoney they amassed was often far more thanthey could ever plan on spending. MichaelMilken, for example, earned over $550 millionin one year. The financiers in question displayedboundless avarice, apparently driven by greedand gluttony for its own sake. It was said thatIvan Boesky wanted to be the biggest arbitrageuron Wall Street. The excesses of Boesky andMilken and their subsequent fines and imprison-ment are well known. Less well known is that,on a smaller scale, many of

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us are capable of allowing the same sort of greedto sabotage our careers. Don Calhoun was onesuch individual.

The County District Attorney's Office conductedan investigation into Calhoun's alleged extortionof more than $1 million in his capacity as theformer director of construction for a supermarketchain. The district attorney reported that companyofficials had asked his office to look into accusa-tions against Don, who had left his job severalmonths before the investigation opened. He hadworked for the supermarket chain for more thantwenty years.

Don said to friends and former co-workers, "Iresigned because of lies and allegations based onmisinformation given to the company. We arecontesting the allegations. This is all my lawyerwants me to say."

The investigation focuses on allegations that Donreceived more than $1 million dollars in kick-backs from contractors. The grocery chain thathad employed Don filed a civil lawsuit againsthim. It accused Don of accepting money over anextended period of time from Ferguson Enter-prises. This construction company has been gen-eral contractor for many of the chain's projects,including a 100,000-square-foot superstore underconstruction and a child-care center.

A building inspector who knew Don said that hehad not noticed anything unusual in his dealingswith him, Ferguson Enterprises, or the superstoreunder construction. The director of assessmentsand building control who worked with Don saidthat the job was progressing marvelously. He alsosaid that the quality of the work was excellent,and that Don was a real professional who kept aproject moving when it bogged down.

Whatever the outcome of the district attorney'sinvestigation, Don's career has been sabotaged.If convicted, there is very little chance that Donwill ever regain a comparable position. If acquit-ted, there will still be a cloud of suspicion overhim. Don will have considerable difficulty find-ing a high-level position in his field. He couldconceivably become a business owner in aconstruction-related field, but it would be ex-tremely difficult for him to obtain financing.

Assuming that he was guilty of receiving kick-backs, what could Don have done differently?The pat solution is to be moralistic, to say thatDon should have internalized a stronger ethicalcode. More practically, he should have run arisk-versus-reward analysis of any potential un-ethical actions, especially

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when the temptation to accept kickbacks firstarose. He might have reasoned:

If I accept an occasional dinner invitation or tick-ets to a sporting events from contractors, it wouldbe relatively risk-free. Token gifts from vendorsare within the acceptable range of companypolicy.

If I accept much more, I can lose my job, myreputation, and the emotional support of myfriends. My self-respect would take quite a blowtoo. Suppose I get close to $1 million in cashfrom contractors. That would be a lot of money,but it could cost me my way of life. In terms ofrisk versus rewards, I'll stick with a few baublesfrom vendors. I can do honest work to getwhatever else I want.

Failing to Size Up the Climate

All forms of executive self-sabotage containsome element of failing to size up the climate inone's work environment. To be out of touch withthe political realities surrounding you is to risksending your career into a tailspin. Look forstraws in the wind suggesting that what you aredoing, or not doing, is pushing you toward a set-back.

One executive sabotaged his career because ofhis sexist thinking, as reflected in his speech. Hedidn't realize he was offending team members athis staff meetings by using such sexist phrasesas: "Every manager and his wife is invited to ournext management meeting," "I thought our per-sonnel guy would be attending this meeting,"and "The girls in my office work just as hard asthe managers." This executive was not sensitiveenough to hear the groans and observe thewinces when he made such exclusionary state-ments. When asked about his suitability for thetop job, several managers on his staff said, ''Histhinking is a little too provincial for the moderngeneration."

You may not always be able to discern your self-sabotaging behavior on your own. However, cer-tain signals from the environment should suggestto you that it is time either to adjust something inyour repertoire or to leave before your career isirretrievably lost. Here are a few such signals tolook out for:

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You stop receiving intraoffice mail or electronicmessages other than routine correspondence.

You are rarely asked your opinion on importantorganizational issues.

Your major customer has dropped its standingorder, and now places orders less frequently.

Your immediate superior becomes noncommu-nicative and evasive.

You are not brought into discussions about apending corporate takeover although your levelof responsibility warrants your inclusion.

Your performance evaluations have worsenedand are characterized by much nitpicking byyour boss.

If any of these or similar signals occur, investig-ate and attempt to uncover the real problem. If areal problem exists, and it relates to somethingunder your control, take appropriate action. Stopthe process of career self-sabotage.

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7Political Blunders

Everyone need not be a consummate office politician to get ahead or survive. But com-mitting political blunders can put a serious dent in your career. It is self-sabotaging to dosuch things as step on the toes of powerful people or show indifference to the company'sproducts or services. To avoid committing political blunders, you first have to developsensitivity toward what constitutes such mistakes. Eleven recurring political blunders,and how they can be avoided, are presented in this chapter. Just in case you have recentlycommitted a blunder, or may do so in the future, there is also a patch-up maneuver de-scribed.

Before reading ahead, take the "Blunder Quiz" to help sensitize you to whatever tenden-cies you may have toward blundering.

THE BLUNDER QUIZ

Indicate whether you agree or disagree with the following statements:

1. It's fine to criticize a company executive in a meeting so long as the criticism is val-id.

2. Dressing for success is a sham. You should wear to work whatever clothing you findthe most comfortable.

3. I am willing to insult any co-worker if the insult is deserved.

4. I see no problem in using competitors' products or services, and letting my superiorsknow about it.

5. If someone higher up than you in the company offends you, let that person knowabout it.

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6. Never bother with company-sponsored social events, such as holiday parties, unlessyou are really interested.

7. If I disagreed with something major my employer did, I would voice my opinion in aletter to the editor of the local newspaper.

8. I'm very open about passing along confidential information.

9. I openly criticize most new ventures my company or department is contemplating.

10. I always avoid office politics of any kind.

Interpretation. The greater the number of statements you agree with, the more prone youare to making political blunders that can damage your career. You need to raise yourawareness level about blunders on the job. Study this chapter carefully.

Bypassing Your Boss

Going over your boss's head to resolve a problem between the two of you can be a majorpolitical blunder. The more bureaucratic an organization is, the more hazardous the by-pass. If done with extreme tact, you might be able to pull it off. But if you fail, your ca-reer can be damaged and your recourse limited. Your name can readily enter into your in-dustry's network in an unfavorable way.

An important exception to the bypass taboo is when you are faced with an emergencysituation. This would include working for a boss who is extremely incompetent or in viol-ation of company policy or the law. Under these circumstances, a problem-solving ses-sion with your boss's boss might be appropriate.

Though the general principle is that bypassing your boss is a political blunder, it may be-come necessary when you get no satisfaction from speaking directly to your boss aboutan important problem. Asking your boss's permission to speak to a higher-up is anotherworkable alternative. A sneak play is usually self-defeating.

Gerri, a customer service trainer in a bank, wanted to attend a three-day training seminar to enrichherself professionally. She took her request to her

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boss, Diana, who replied, "That would ordinarilybe a reasonable request. But these aren't ordinarydays. We are trying to conserve on costs. And be-sides, we need you here in the bank. If you wantto learn more about your field, read somemagazines or books. Bring up your request againnext year."

Gerri was miffed that her boss rejected her de-mand. She waited for a spontaneous meeting withGrant, the human resources director, to plead hercase. The next day she had a legitimate reason formeeting with Grant to speak about some upcom-ing training programs. Gerri then asked Grant ifshe might speak to him about a personal issue.She explained that Diana wouldn't approve her re-quest to attend a professional seminar. Gerri alsoasked if Grant would be willing to reverse thatdecision.

Grant simply reported the conversation back toher boss. Diana in turn called Gerri into her officeand delivered a straightforward message: "Granttells me you disagree with my decision to turndown your travel request. In the future if youhave a problem with a decision I make, thrash itout with me. Don't be a wimp and complain toGrant."

Gerri's sneak play thus backfired. She did not getto attend the conference, and her relationshipwith Diana deteriorated. Her next performanceappraisal was worse than she expected. Gerri'spolitical blunder has hurt her career, at least tem-porarily. A good relationship with your boss andan above-average performance appraisal are al-ways important. Gerri should have stopped tothink of the political consequences of bypassingher boss before complaining to Grant. Attend-ance at one company-sponsored seminar was notworth the cost of alienating Diana and sabot-aging her future.

Should you be contemplating a bypass of yourboss, assess the gravity of your reasons for doingso before taking action. Ask yourself:

Is the gain I hope to achieve by the bypass worthincurring the wrath of my boss?

Is my attempt at a bypass most likely to result inmy boss's boss siding with my boss and leavingme without an ally?

Is this issue so important that it is worth sacrifi-cing my reputation as a loyal employee?

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Criticizing Your Boss in Front of Others

The oldest saw in human relations is to "praise inpublic and criticize in private." Yet in the passionof the moment, we may still surrender to an ir-resistible impulse to criticize the boss withinearshot of others. The boss who is criticized maynot retaliate immediately and directly, but we cananticipate revenge later. Meetings are the mostfrequent settings for criticizing the boss in frontof others. Slipups can also occur at parties andpicnics, as Mary discovered.

Mary, an office manager, attended the annualfamily picnic given by her company. Jack, thepresident, strongly endorsed the picnic because hethought it contributed to company harmony. Thecompany was still small enough for practically allemployees to know each other. To show his en-thusiasm for the event, Jack voted himself therole of hamburger and hotdog cook. After thehamburgers and hot dogs were consumed, Jackwould play volley ball or just socialize with theemployees.

Mary, who rarely drinks alcoholic beverages,drank about four glasses of beer from the keg.She sat down at a picnic table crowded with com-pany personnel, including the president. Jackasked the rhetorical question, "How's everybodyenjoying themselves today?" Mary responded,"I'm okay, but there is something I've been want-ing to ask you, Jack." Others at the table lookedquizzically at Mary.

Mary continued, "Why is an intelligent man likeyou so concerned about taking care of the home-less? You told us in our last companywide meet-ing that we were going to start doing somethingto help them."

Jack remarked, "That's right, Mary. This companyis going to do something for the homeless. Forexample, we'll distribute to the homeless the foodwe don't eat today. I've also committed the com-pany to hiring three homeless people this year."

"That's what I thought you said, Jack. But youreally mean you are going to give jobs and foodto bums. That's a disgrace. People choose to bebums. I hope you don't deny a decent citizen a jobjust to hire a bum."

Those at the picnic table became so silent that onecould hear the whir of mosquitoes. Jack ended thesilence by suggesting, "Why don't we all go backto enjoying ourselves?"

Two weeks later, the administrative services de-partment was reorganized. Mary was demoted tothe post of word-processing

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supervisor. When she asked Jack why, he ex-plained: "To be a manager in our company, youhave to have a social conscience. When your at-titudes change, you'll be eligible for promotion."

Mary is stuck for now. She held her managerialposition by virtue of her knowledge of companysystems and procedures. Her limited formal edu-cation would make it difficult for her to find em-ployment as an office manager elsewhere. It iseasy to blame Mary's setback on having had onetoo many beers. But the "one drink too many"general-purpose excuse doesn't get to the coreproblem. Mary did not stop to assess the import-ance of the president's social conscience. Chal-lenging these values was politically insensitive,and doing it publicly was self-sabotaging. Beforeattending the picnic, Mary should have vowed toherself, "As a manager, I must avoid doing any-thing in front of other employees that will em-barrass anybody."

Should you feel impelled to criticize your boss infront of others, bite your tongue. As a sensiblealternative, collect your critical commentary andthen present it to your boss, diplomatically andconstructively, in a private session.

Challenging the Boss's Judgment

Challenging the boss's judgment, whetherprivately or publicly, can be analyzed as a separ-ate category of political blunder. Constructivelycriticizing a boss's opinions, or his or her facts, ismuch less politically risky. Well-adjusted bosseswelcome tactful criticism, especially if you canhelp them avoid a damaging mistake. Challen-ging their judgment, however, implies that youquestion the quality of their thinkinga muchmore serious charge.

Ken, a systems administrator, took advantage ofan open-door policy to challenge his boss'sthinking.

Ken works for a small engineering company in itssoftware research and development department.He was hired as a systems administrator, but ex-presses interest in becoming the manager of thesoftware development group. From the standpointof experience, talent, and education, Ken qualifiesfor promotion.

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Historically, the company has been against rapidchange. New ideas are slowly accepted, espe-cially in regard to software development. Despitethis facet of the corporate culture, Ken has beenpushing for a new hardware configuration for thecompany. He has also told others that the depart-ment has low productivity, and that he canprovide the right software to improve the situ-ation. He regards the software written before hisarrival as inferior. Ken is eager to take part in re-designing the company software.

Another key aspect of the company culture is thatthe president makes all the important decisions.For this reason, few employees confront the pres-ident, or even hint at disagreement. Ken believesthat other people are needlessly fearful of thepresident, and that he would probably welcomesome innovative thinking. Acting on this hunch,Ken began to challenge the standing proceduresand policies formulated by the president. Severaltimes he has entered the president's office to askwhy the company continues to rely on such out-dated software. He has also demanded to knowwhy more change isn't initiated by the peoplemost familiar with company operations.

Because of his open-door policy, the president haslistened to Ken. But Ken observes: "The guy doeslisten. But I don't think I'm getting my messageacross. I'll have to step up the tempo of presentingmy ideas for improvement."

During Ken's most recent performance evalu-ation, he asked about the company's timetable forpromoting him. Ken's supervisor replied: "Holdon. The president has told me to keep carefulwatch on your performance. He questions wheth-er you have the right stuff even to be with us verylong." At that point, Ken began to questionwhether the company was deserving of his tal-ents. He thought, nevertheless, that he might givethe president one more chance to accept his ideas.1

As a systems administrator, Ken should be aforce for constructive change in the company'scomputer systems. His approach to initiatingchange, however, is self-defeating. Ken has com-mitted the political blunder of insulting the BigBoss's judgment. Ken did not stop to size up thataspect of the corporate culture that says allmeaningful change is initiated from the top.

Ken might have been able to create change byvolunteering to head up a task force to investig-ate the need for improved software. If the presid-ent had supported the task force, he might havesupported its conclusions. Ken was also beingpolitically naive when he took the open-doorpolicy so literally. Ken's straightforward, hard-hitting approach to creating change was self-sab-otaging.

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Being able to create constructive change is a keyrequirement for effective leadership. If you wantto be an agent for change, however, find a way tobring about change without insulting thosepeople in the organization who want to preservewhat already exists. Get them involved in yourplans for change, but don't insult them.

Overt Displays of Disloyalty

Being disloyal to your organization or boss is abasic political blunder. Disloyalty takes manyforms. Making it known that you are looking fora position elsewhere is the best-known form ofdisloyalty. Criticizing your company in publicsettings, praising the high quality of competitors'products, and writing angry letters to the editorabout your company are others. You may not getfired, but overt signs of disloyalty may place youin permanent disfavor. When the budget cuttersswing their ax, the disloyal often get the firstwhack. Seemingly trivial situations are often tip-offs as to the depth of a person's loyalty.

Marla had a promising career as an assistant tothe vice-president of a company that manufac-tured and sold office equipment. The product lineincluded electronic pencil sharpeners, desk fix-tures, filing systems, and metal desks. The cor-porate culture emphasized paternalism. Employ-ees were treated well, and management mademany efforts to direct employees toward a healthylife-style. Among the programs contributing tothis goal were a generous dental insurance plan, awellness program that included a smoker's clinic,and discounts for "wholesome family entertain-ment" such as ice shows and circuses.

As a mark of appreciation for the company's hard-working employees, the president decided to be-gin a holiday turkey giveaway. On the Friday pre-ceding Christmas, every company employee waseligible to receive a medium-size turkey to betaken home for cooking and consumption. Thepresident thought such a gesture would foster theholiday spirit. He also hoped it would promotemorale and improve communications. The seniorexecutives would be responsible for handing outthe turkeys, thereby interacting with all employ-ees. Marla was assigned the task of organizingTurkey Day, to a large extent because of her repu-tation as an excellent organizer.

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Tony, her boss, explained the assignment toMarla, and then told her that the president thoughtshe would be the ideal candidate to organize theactivity. Marla broke into laughter. As she contin-ued to laugh, she said, "Great idea. My mission isto set up a company mission. The only employeeswho'll show up are those who can't afford theirown turkeys. I'll go ahead and organize the affair,so long as you don't put 'Turkey Day Coordinator'on my résumé."

Despite her cynicism, Marla did a marvelous joborganizing Turkey Day. While Marla was busilyengaged in the paperwork of estimating howmany turkeys were left for employees, the presid-ent said to Tony: "Thanks so much for lending usMarla for this event. She did a superb job." Tonyoffhandedly replied, "We're lucky Marla took theassignment. She thinks the whole idea is a joke."The president murmured, "How unfortunate. I hadso much faith in Marla's dedication to the com-pany."

Several months later when Marla's name wasoffered for promotion to director of purchasing,the president vetoed her nomination. He ex-plained that despite Marla's high level of capabil-ity, she had not yet developed sufficient loyalty tothe company to be promoted to such a key posi-tion.

Marla was not disloyal, but she made the mistakeof poking fun at the PPP (president's pet project).Although a Turkey Day may appear trivial to acompany outsider, such an event can be a sacredtradition to the executive who originated theidea. Marla was perceived as disloyal for pokingfun at Turkey Day even though she performedsuperbly. She may have been judged unfairly, butsuch is the nature of politics within organiza-tions.

Marla could have prevented her minor act of ca-reer self-sabotage by having the political sensit-ivity to realize that there are no secrets in organ-izations. Even if Tony was her advocate, therewas always the chance that he would leak in-formation about her extreme reaction to theplanned holiday event. Marla didn't stop to thinkabout the consequences of her actions, and it costher a promotion.

Marla hurt herself, but her experience can helpyou. Before you make your next refreshinglycandid comment, ask yourself: "Whose ox am Igoring with this statement?" If the ox is a prizedone, rework your comment until you can couch itin a constructive and complimentary way. In-stead of saying, "The new cost-cutting plan is thepits. It will wreck customer service," try this:"I'm 100 percent behind the corporate effort tofurther reduce costs. How-

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ever, thinning down customer service could havesome dysfunctional consequences.''

Being a Naysayer

Some people are paid to critically review theplans, budgets, and ideas of others. The review-ers render critical judgments, and then often re-quest that others temper their plans and curtailtheir spending. Financial analysts, for example,are often placed in the position of having to voteagainst a proposed new product or acquisition.Even if it is within your role to say no to thedreams of others, it is best to avoid being re-garded as an inveterate naysayer. If your roledoes not actually call for making critical judg-ments on the plans of others, being a naysayercan be even more damaging.

Perpetual naysayers generate negative vibes thatmake others uncomfortable. To be perceived insuch a light is therefore a political blunder. It canblock you from moving into a position that callsfor a positive, charismatic person. Such was thecase with Tracy, a merchandising manager at adepartment store with six locations.

Tracy began her career in retailing by happen-stance, as a participant in a work-study programat Northeastern University. She was sortingthrough job opportunities in the placement office,hoping to find a work-study assignment for herjunior year, when she noticed that a number of re-tailers offered work-study opportunities. She pur-sued matters further, and received a satisfactoryjob offer from a retailer with six locations. Tracyperformed well enough in her temporary positionto be offered permanent placement after complet-ing college.

Tracy's job stability in an environment of highemployee turnover helped her to advance rapidlywith her employer. Tracy prided herself in herability to control costs and not take unnecessaryrisks. As a merchandising manager, she urgedbuyers not to bring faddish merchandise into thestore. She didn't want the store to get caught withmerchandise that would have to be liquidated at aloss. As she explained:

In retailing you have to be extra careful of costs.A wrong decision on one line of goods can wipeout profits from five profitable lines. The down-side risk in retailing is very big. The chances ofany one line of

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merchandise becoming a big hit is very small.That's why I like to take small risks.

Another key principle of retailing I follow is towatch your head count. I would rather be under-staffed than overstaffed. Some store managershire more floor people than they need to make upfor turnover and absenteeism. I can't accept thatpolicy. It eats up profits too quickly.

Tracy's boss, Kim, has a different perception ofher conservative business approach:

Tracy has many good qualities as a merchand-ising manager. She sure is cost-conscious. But shecarries it much too far. Since our stores are geo-graphically dispersed, we allow local buying de-cisions. A few of our stores are more upscale thanothers. Tracy has been the merchandising man-ager in three different locations for us. During hertenure at each one, we never experienced a surgein profits. She never guesses right on hot mer-chandise. But on the other hand, our profits neverdipped at those stores.

The biggest problem we've had with Tracy is thatshe is so negative. She shoots down the buyers'most creative ideas. She spends more time withthe returns department than she does with advert-ising and sales promotion. Tracy is Ms. WorstCase Scenario. She talks more about bankruptciesin the retailing business than about new success-ful stores.

Tracy is also too negative with store personnel.She spends more time telling them what not to dothan what to do. It's her style to be negative.Tracy can also be very negative with company ex-ecutives. She was the lone dissenting voice whenwe talked about tentative plans to expand into anew suburban mall. Again, she focused more onwhat could go wrong than on what could go right.

Despite her problems, Tracy is a good retailer. Ihope she stays with us permanently. But we de-cided not to offer her a position as general man-ager of one of our stores because of her negativ-ism. Her turning thumbs down on the mall expan-sion really ruined her reputation as a positivethinker. I can't see her as a good leader.

Kim's analysis is on target. Being negative, pess-imistic, and dour are ill-suited to leadership.Tracy's negativism has helped her do a crediblejob of controlling costs and minimizing risks.Nevertheless, negativism as a general approachto business problems can be a major politicalblunder. Tracy's negativism is self-sabotaging tothe extent that she wants to move further up theretailing ladder. Her negativism is also self-de-feating if she wants to become a more effectiveleader as a merchandising manager.

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Tracy can help herself by studying books andarticles about effective leadership and then com-paring her traits and characteristics with what isconsidered ideal. For instance, she might readthat effective leaders are warm, expressive, andpositive. Tracy can then ask herself, "How warm,expressive, and positive am I?" If Tracy is con-cerned about her negativism, she might undergoprofessional counseling to better understand theroots of her problem. The mere fact of question-ing one's pessimism and negativism often startsthe gradual process of change.

Reflect on your own behavior. Has the percent-age of your negative comments climbed toohigh? If so, follow the suggestions offered toTracy.

Being a Pest

Common wisdom suggests that diligently press-ing for one's demands is the path to success. Thismay be true up to a point, but when assertivenessis used too often it becomes annoying to manypeople. The overpersistent person comes to beperceived as a pest, and this constitutes a seriouspolitical blunder.

Stuart Schmidt and David Kipnis, two industrialpsychologists, conducted studies suggesting thatrefusing to take no for an answer (being a pest)can be costly both personally and professionally.People who were persistently assertive werelabeled as "shotguns." It was found that suchpeople received lower salaries and poorer per-formance evaluations than people who weremore diplomatic and ingratiating. Shotguns alsoexperienced high levels of job tension and per-sonal stress. 2 A logical interpretation of thesefindings is that managers find ways to retaliateagainst pests.

Another form of being a pest is to complain con-stantly about work-related matters. Chronic com-plainers like to target such topics as the crowdedparking lot, the poor quality of cafeteria food, thetemperature in the office, the slowness of com-pany mail, and the insufficiency of floating holi-days. Large numbers of these complaints areself-sabotaging. The complainer is soon per-ceived as an ingrate or misfitsurefire labels forcareer retardation or plateauing.

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Whether you are a pest about big issues, small is-sues, or a combination of the two, it can be self-defeating. It was for Brian, although he wasn'teven aware what was holding back his career.

Brian was an administrator in the parking viola-tions bureau of the city government. He enjoyedthe relative security of his job and he took delightin knowing that his bureau paid for itself with thelarge number of citations it issued. Brian thoughtthe city should get what it deserved from parkingviolators. Similarly, he thought he should getwhat he deserved from the city.

For Brian, getting what he deserved meantsqueezing every possible dollar from his employ-er. When he was asked to attend a meeting in thenext county, Brian filed an expense report claim-ing mileage allowance. He cited the appropriatecity regulation to support his claim. Once whenBrian was given a performance evaluation of 3.5,he demanded written documentation as to why hewas not rated 4.0. The 4.0 rating would allow Bri-an to participate in a merit increase on top of hisautomatic cost-of-living adjustment. When his su-pervisor did not comply with the request for writ-ten documentation, Brian filed a grievance.

Brian's boss recalls the incident that finally com-pelled him to recommend in writing that Brian beexcluded from consideration for promotion to su-pervisor:

I was getting ticked off at Brian pushing for themaximum in so many situations. Then one day hepushed me over the edge. Once a year employeesget a computerized printout of their benefits. Bri-an requested a meeting with me to discuss a dis-crepancy in his benefits report.

Brian's statement said that he had accumulated 17unused vacation days, and would be paid for themupon retirement, up to a maximum of 100 days.He was upset because he figured he was owed 20unused vacation days. His argument was point-less, even if he was right about the three missingdays. I knew he would easily accumulate the 100maximum days long before retirement. The threeextra days owed him were therefore superfluous.

I told Brian to provide as much proof of his argu-ment as he wished. It was his right. But as far as Iwas concerned, Brian would never become a su-pervisor in the Parking Violations Bureau.

Brian's problem is that he failed to examine theimplications of his pushing for small gains.Angling to receive merit pay admittedly hadsome short-range benefits for Brian. But his ab-rasive method of demanding written documenta-tion from his

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superior was politically unwise. The few extradollars in mileage and the few extra days of ac-crued vacation pay were gains not worth pursu-ing. They branded Brian as being small-minded.

Brian committed a career self-sabotaging blun-der that could have been avoided by carefully ex-amining his own behavior. A general antidote forself-sabotage is to periodically review how youare handling people and situations. Ask yourself:

"Am I proud of how I handled that?"

"What kind of message did my actions com-municate to others?"

"Is what I contemplate doing cost-effective interms of my career advancement?"

Declining an Offer from Top Management

If you are already overworked, it is understand-able that you turn down requests with a polite nowhen asked to take on another project. The well-accepted principle of time managementlearn tosay nosays you are right. A countervailing argu-ment is that turning down top management, espe-cially more than once, is a political blunder. Youthus have to balance sensibly managing yourtime against the blunder of refusing a requestfrom management. Here is an example of thisscenario in action:

Rich, the vice-president of marketing in a mediacompany, was also in charge of corporate acquisi-tions. The company was in a cash-rich positionwhile many smaller media companies were strug-gling. One of the many projects Rich had goingwas doing a feasibility study on acquiring a cableTV station in a distant city. He needed somebodyto visit the company and to prepare a thoroughfinancial analysis of its worth. The project couldeasily occupy six weeks of one's time.

Rich approached Bev, the accounting manager,with a request to take on this feasibility study. Heexplained that he knew Bev was already saddledwith a heavy work load. Rich also emphasizedthat this acquisition was a very important one,and the company needed a first-rate analysis. Bevreplied that she would like to take a rain check.She explained that in order to do a top profession-al job she would need to spend more time on theproject than she could possibly find.

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Rich shrugged his shoulder, saying that he wouldfind somebody else to do the study. He gave theassignment to Patricia, the supervisor of financialanalysis, who reported to Bev. Patricia wedgedthe job in along with her regular responsibilities.She was able to accomplish it by delegating manyof her regular responsibilities to two accountantsin her department. The cable company was ac-quired, and three months later Patricia wasoffered a position as its controller. Bev was con-fused and upset about what had happened. Shewished she had the opportunity to become thecontroller of a subsidiary.

Bev committed a political blunder that may havecost her a desirable promotion. Her first impulsewas to turn down the marketing vice-president'soffer to conduct the acquisition study. She sub-mitted to this impulse instead of searching for analternative solution, satisfactory both to Rich andherself. She might have explained that she had acrushing workload, but could take on the study ifher burden were lightened. Following this logic,she could have requested authorization to hireone or two temporary accountants. They couldhave taken over some of the work of Bev's sub-ordinates. In turn, the subordinates could havetaken over some of Bev's work.

Instead of suggesting the delegation alternative(or any other feasible one), Bev impulsivelymade a blunder that kept her out of the runningfor a quick promotion. It can also be assumedthat Rich is not enamored of Bev's inflexibility.It never helps your career to have a key execut-ive downgrade his opinion of you.

The lesson here is that if you face a burdensomework load, and top management asks you to doeven more, do not flatly refuse. Instead, negoti-ate a workable compromise that will enable youto take on the new assignment while divestingyourself of some of your present duties.

Being an Ethical Zealot

The many business scandals of recent years havebrought renewed attention to the importance ofbusiness ethics. Many business schools haveeven hired members of the clergy to teachcourses in the philosophy of ethics. Althoughethics is in, it can still be a political blunder tobeat the drum too loudly for scrupu-

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lously honest behavior. This is especially true ina corporate culture where ethical behavior ispreached more than it is practiced. The misfor-tunes of Dave exemplify this problem.

Dave, a retailing manager, was an extremely hardworker. He believed in exerting himself in orderto reach personal and organizational objectives.Starting out in the women's apparel department,Dave moved up the ladder quickly. His store asso-ciates enjoyed working for him even though Davehad extremely high standards.

Dave had strong religious beliefs that he carriedalong into his professional career. He was ex-tremely fair, treated everyone with respect, andwas known for his integrity. Dave made sure thatcustomers got what they paid for, and his employ-ees received what they were promised. Dave'shard work seemed to pay off. He was promoted toregional manager of women's apparel.

About a year later, a truck delivering a shipmentof furs to the store was involved in an accident.The impact of the collison forced open the truckdoor, scattering the furs in the snow and slush.Dave had all the furs dry-cleaned. He planned tosell them at a substantial discount and to fully in-form customers of what had happened. The ship-per agreed to pay the difference between the saleprice and the intended retail price because it ac-cepted responsibility for the damage.

When Dave's boss heard what had happened, hecalled him into his office. The boss had seen thefurs on their return from the cleaners, and hethought they looked brand-new. He wanted Daveto sell the coats at their original price becausecustomers would not be able to tell the difference.

Dave thought through what the boss wanted himto do, and decided that it was against his moralprinciples. Dave went to the boss and told himthat he would be selling the coats at the sale price.His boss told Dave that either he would sell thecoats at the intended retail price, or he could turnin his resignation that afternoon. Dave returned tohis boss that afternoon with a signed resignation.His boss accepted it without another word.

Dave began to look for a new job the next day. Hethought his track record would enable him to finda comparable position quite easily. As the monthspassed by, Dave had few interviews and no joboffers. After a year without an offer in the wo-men's apparel field, he finally found a position asthe manager of an office supply store. Dave tooka substantial drop in pay and growth potential, buthe was happy again to be leading a productivelife.

Two years later, while at a business lunch, Daveuncovered the reason for his inability to find an-other job in women's apparel. His boss had

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enough connections to black-list Dave in the wo-men's apparel field in his city. 3

The easy solution for Dave would have meantnot being so ethical. Submitting to the innervoice of his ethical code, instead of the demandsof his boss, was assuredly a political blunder. Itwound up sabotaging Dave's career in his naturalfield. He was forced to enter another phase of re-tailing, at much lower pay and with much lesschance for growth. But sometimes a person hasto make a career sacrifice in order to behave eth-ically. How would you have behaved in Dave'ssituation? Much depends on whether you placeethical obligations above the welfare of your ca-reer. Perhaps in such a situation being ethical ismore important than avoiding self-defeating be-havior. In the long run, you will feel better aboutyourself.

Whistle-blowers face the same dilemma as Dave.A whistle-blower discovers that management isdoing something unethical or illegal. The personthen informs the government or the media. Le-gislation prevents the whistle-blower from actu-ally being fired for making the company's mis-deeds public. However, the whistle-blower islikely to suffer career retardation or to spend therest of his or her business life in limbo.

Balking at Revising One's Work

Hierarchical authority is less emphasized todaythan it was previously. Nevertheless, most man-agers still like to exercise the right of asking sub-ordinates to revise written and numerical reports.Often the revisions requested are quite valid.Managers can act as outsider observers and thusserve as effective critics. They may also have agood perspective on the information require-ments of higher management (the people whowill ultimately read the report). At other times,the revisions requested may not be so valid.Some managers feel negligent if they don't re-quest at least some revision of a subordinate's re-port.

Whether or not a request for rework is valid, it isusually a political blunder to balk at making revi-sions. The person who resists rework is likely tobe regarded as stubborn, uncooperative, or,worse, poorly motivated.

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Bob was the manager of financial planning andanalysis at a large company in the chemicals in-dustry. He had a thorough understanding of boththe technical operations and the cost accountingof the business units for which he was respons-ible. After seven years in this area, Bob had deve-loped heuristics (numerical rules of thumb) thatenabled him to make quick assessments in a con-tinually changing environment.

Bob's team was well respected for the accuracyand thoroughness of its analysis. Because of thetechnical skills of himself and his group, Bob hada keen understanding of the amount of work thatwas created by after-the-fact analysis of hisgroups' reports. Executives would often come upwith thoughts for additional analysis after theyhad read the reports prepared by Bob's team.

Bob and a few of his team members would meetregularly with outsiders who used their output.During these meetings Bob would respond an-grily when an outsider identified yet another wayof presenting the data for analysis. Bob wouldcomplain that top management was already re-quiring too much data, and that they were suffer-ing from "analysis paralysis." He would urgethem to make a decision based on the data alreadypresented. On many occasions Bob would ask themanagers who used his information to justifytheir requests for revising the reports generated.

The members of upper management who attendedthe meetings with Bob and his group soon per-ceived him as uncooperative and arbitrary. Thesuggestion was also made that Bob was being dis-ruptive to the mission. Despite his grumbling,Bob and his team were quick to respond with theadditional information requested. Managementthus was not concerned about the output of Bob'sgroup but rather about the negative attitude Bobdisplayed when asked to do additional analysis.

Over the years, this negative perception hauntedBob as he tried to move into another position infinancial management. Blocked by his negativeimage, Bob gave up his career in financial plan-ning and moved into an accounting position inmanufacturing. 4

Bob's recalcitrance negated much of the finework he and his group were providing the organ-ization. He thus contributed directly to his owncareer setback. The other team members did notincur damaged reputations because it was Bobalone who was perceived as argumentative. Th-ings could have worked out much differently forBob, and he could be happier today. During theexcitement of the meetings he allowed his self-centeredness to rule his rational side. Instead ofrebelling at reanalysis (which he usually per-formed anyway), he might calmly have dis-cussed his

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concerns about analyzing data beyond the pointof diminishing returns.

Bob might also have taken a broader and moreconstructive viewpoint. He and his group weregetting paid to do the rework. Furthermore, theadditional analysis ensured that his group wouldbe kept occupied performing tasks valued by theorganization. Many staff groups suffer from theopposite problem. They don't have enough re-quests from top management. Consequently, theydream up ideas for useful projects that they thenhave to sell to management. Instead of takingthis broad point of view, Bob kept his hacklesraised and burrowed down the path of careerself-sabotage.

If you face a situation in which you are asked todo tiresome rework, keep Bob's undoing in mind.So long as your meter is running, why be so res-istant to rework? The issue might be worth a fewconstructive suggestions about not allowingwork to reach the point of diminishing returns.However, career self-sabotage is a heavy price topay for resisting rework.

Resisting the Dress Code

Rigid conformity is no longer a virtue in mostsuccessful organizations. Nevertheless, deviatingtoo far from an important custom such as a dresscode is a political blunder. The dress code is ob-viously not the same for every organization.Proper standards of dress can be gleaned fromobserving both fast trackers and members of topmanagement. To flout these standards can beself-sabotaging.

Carla, a patent attorney, worked for a prestigiousToronto law firm. She chose to wear short-sleeved blouses to work during June, July, andAugust. Her supervising attorney advised her re-peatedly that short-sleeved blouses and shirtswere not suitable attire for lawyers in their firm.Carla brushed aside these comments as an in-fringement on her personal freedom.

The supervisor retaliated by placing a memo inCarla's file stating that she was not a good candid-ate for partnership in the firm because she did notfully respect its values. Four year later, Carla hadstill not been invited into partnership. Dis-gruntled, she resigned to join a very small lawfirm that

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wanted to have one patent attorney on its staff.Carla sorely missed working with other patent at-torneys.

Carla's problems could be easily dismissed. Ifshe hadn't been so stubborn about something asinconsequential as wearing long-sleeved blousesin June, July, and August, she would be a partnertoday. But beneath that problem could lie a deep-er reason for her career self-sabotage. Carlamight be using the form of self-sabotage calledself-handicapping or excuse making. By not ad-hering to the dress code, she is giving herself agood excuse in case she fails to be invited intopartnership. She can blame her failure on wear-ing short-sleeved blouses. In this case, the self-handicapping was too severe. It was guaranteedto do the job.

To prevent many forms of career self-sabotage inaddition to violating dress codes, it is necessaryto ask: ''What handicaps am I imposing on my-self that give me an out in case I fail?" Commonself-imposed handicaps include not completing adegree, staying obese, refusing to learn how touse a computer, and using vulgarities in the of-fice.

Burning Your Bridges

A potent political blunder is to create ill willamong former employers or people who havehelped you in the past. The best-known form ofbridge burning occurs when a person departsfrom an organization. A person who leaves in-voluntarily is especially apt to express anger to-ward those responsible for the dismissal. Ventingyour anger may give a temporary boost to yourmental health, but it can be detrimental in thelong run.

Mark, the vice-president of marketing at a build-ing materials company, had a basic disagreementwith the company president about his job. Markthought he should concentrate his efforts on thefuture of the company's marketing. He spent con-siderable time attempting to assess what kind ofbuilding materials would be needed to meet thechanging demographics. He was also keenly in-terested in how the trend toward energy-efficienthomes would affect the business. The president,in contrast, wanted Mark to spend more timedealing with current problems.

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The dispute between the two men ended when thepresident asked Mark to resign. Upset by this in-cident, Mark wrote a letter to the board of direct-ors accusing the president of being a "short-rangethinker, preoccupied with matters that should betaken care of by first-level supervisors." The pres-ident retaliated by inserting a memo in Mark'spersonnel file. The memo described Mark as adreamer who also showed poor judgment in hand-ling differences of opinion.

The employment references the president gaveMark were so lukewarm that it prevented Markfrom obtaining the specific kind of marketing po-sition he really wanted. Ten months later, Mark fi-nally found a position as a marketing director at asmall company. He still regrets having written theangry letter to the board of directors.

Mark sabotaged his career because he allowedhis right brain (the emotional side) to take overhis left brain (the logical side). In the midst ofhis rage, he should have implemented the stand-ard antidote to the urge to write a nasty note:Write the letter, but don't seal or mail it for forty-eight hours. When two days have passed, readyour letter and decide if it's really a good idea tosend it. Ninety-five percent of the time your de-cision will be no, and you will have warded offan acute self-inflicted wound.

How to Patch Up a Blunder

Patching up blunders is an important skill. Toavoid self-sabotage, it is expedient to patch upthe immediate damage as quickly as possible.The suggestions offered here apply to politicalblunders and blunders in general (such as mis-quoting a price to customers). The two are re-lated: Not patching up an ordinary blunder canbe considered a political blunder.

1. Break the bad news to your boss before any-one else does. If the blunder has taken place infront of your boss, this step is already taken careof. Suppose, however, you have insulted yourboss's boss in a meeting. Word will quickly getback to your boss, so take the initiative by tellingyour boss directly. If you are willing to accept re-sponsibility for your mistakes, your boss andothers will be more forgiving.

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2. Avoid defensiveness. Demonstrate that you aremore interested in recovering from the blunderthan in trying to share the blame for whathappened. Focus on solutions to the problemrather than on faultfinding. Suppose you havebeen far too critical of your boss in a recent staffmeeting. Explain that your attempts to be con-structively critical backfired, and that you willchoose your words more carefully in the future.

3. Stay poised. Admit that you made a mistakeand apologize, but don't act or feel inferior. Mis-takes are inevitable in a competitive work envir-onment. Avoid looking sad and distraught. In-stead, maintain eye contact with people whenyou describe your blunder.

4. Have some answers ready. If fixing your blun-der will involve your boss, make suggestions asto how he or she can help. Suppose you disap-pointed a higher-up by not having some thingsready for an important meeting. The executive inquestion wants to know what's wrong with yourdepartment. Give your boss some facts to workwith that will help explain the delay. Encourageyour boss to hold you responsible for the prob-lem. Disarming the boss in this way will usuallymake him or her want to help you. Instead of fo-cusing all the blame on you, your boss is morelikely to present your blunder to higher manage-ment as a team effort. 5 Isn't that better than sab-otaging your reputation?

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8Sex Roles and Self-Sabotage

At times the things people do and the choicesthey make, as determined by what they think isappropriate for their sex, can damage their ca-reers. Expressed in another way, the way youthink you should behave on the job as a man oras a woman can sometimes interfere with yoursuccess. Let's begin with extremes. If a male ex-ecutive thinks a man in power should be patron-izing toward women, he may sabotage his career.He may fail to gain the cooperation of the wo-men colleagues and the staff he needs to achievehis objectives. If a female executive thinks sheshould defer to men and be dependent on them,she may not be commanding enough to achieveher objectives.

Although most men and women are not lockedinto sex roles that doom them to career self-sab-otage, it is true that stereotyped beliefs abouthow one should behave as a man or a woman cancreate severe career problems. Being either tootraditional or too nontraditional with respect tosex roles and sexual preferences can be self-sab-otaging.

Women Who Lower the Ceiling on Their Suc-cess

Robin Dee Post, a psychotherapist who special-izes in helping career women, has made a reveal-ing observation about her clients. Despite manyremarkable accomplishments, successful careerwomen often struggle with conflicts that under-mine their

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effectiveness. These conflicts only add to theirburden of coping with such demanding careersas being a small-business owner, accountant, at-torney, lawyer, or physician. 1 Conflicts sur-rounding their sex role have not prevented thesewomen from being successful, but they canlower the ceiling of further success. Six "ghastlytraps" plague many successful career women,and all of them can be self-defeating:

1. Being self-critical and perfectionistic. Manyhigh-achieving women are self-critical and per-fectionistic. (So are many men, but the problemis even more common among successful wo-men.) They set unreasonably high standards forthemselves, and are overly conscientious. In ex-treme cases, they feel guilty if they violate theirself-imposed high standards. Despite what theyhave achieved, many successful women feel in-adequate and dissatisfied with themselves.

Perfectionism can lower productivity. Seated ather desk, for example, a packaging design engin-eer perfectionistically revamps the same packagefor an infant auto seat a dozen times. She couldhave completed five package designs in the timeit takes her to produce one. Furthermore, thepackage design for an infant seat may not be acritical selling point. At this pace, she will mostlikely stay on a career plateau.

2. Failure to prioritize and overcommitment.High-achieving women frequently find it diffi-cult to establish their own personal goals. Orthey may give them low priority. They feel com-pelled to first meet responsibilities to superiors,subordinates, customers, and family members.All these responsibilities must be met beforethey feel entitled to attend to a self-developmentprogram.

Because these women are talented and conscien-tious, they are asked to participate in a variety ofprojects and community activities. They havedifficulty saying no when a worthwhile project isinvolved. When asked to serve on a prestigioustask force, one woman worried that she mightnever again be asked to do something so import-ant. She therefore agreed to participate althoughshe did not have the time.

Many high-achieving women are overextended,and feel overcommitted. As a consequence, theylead pressured lives, and

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have difficulty finding time for creative activity,reflection, and relaxation. A bank vice-presidentsaid, "Lots of people are on a treadmill, but mysituation is different. I have three treadmills go-ing at the same time. My career, my family, andmy community obligations. I'm a candidate forcardiac arrest."

The bank vice-president may not see it, but herdilemma is self-imposed. She may need her ca-reer and her family, but why can't she drasticallycurtail her community activities? Her over-com-mitment is perhaps driven by a desire to proveherself to the world. If she invested some time inreflecting on her own behavior, she might nolonger be a candidate for cardiac arrest.

3. Procrastination and the avoidance of conflict-laden tasks. Many of the successful women ob-served by Post put off activities that are anxiety-provoking for them. One woman kept putting offwriting up a family evaluation in an acrimoniouscustody battle. The longer successful womenavoid these unpleasant tasks, the more objection-able and insurmountable the tasks become. Pro-crastination usually produces self-blame and un-comfortable pressure as deadlines approach. Itinterferes with creative problem solving and pro-ductivity because the unfinished tasks detractfrom concentration.

Although the procrastination engaged in by suchwomen may be driven by personal conflictsabout success, it can still be overcome. Asidefrom using the procrastination antidotes de-scribed in Chapter 4, these career women canconfront their own behavior by asking them-selves:

What is blocking me?

Is there a deep-rooted reason why I'm drag-ging my heels on this project?

Why can't I break loose and get things done?

I'm capable of getting this project done. Whycan't I use my capabilities?

4. Excessive modesty. Women often hesitate toacknowledge their own expertise and competen-ce. A financial planner who is recognized as alocal authority on investment strategy cringed atthe prospect of giving a talk on investments. Shedoubts that she

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has anything worthwhile to present. Some wo-men with successful careers have trouble accept-ing recognition. They feel unworthy of receivingaccolades for their legitimate accomplishments,and rarely toot their own horns.

Undue modesty can be self-sabotaging becauseself-promotion is an important ingredient of sus-tained success. Rachel, the vice-president of in-formation systems at a savings and loan associ-ation, suffered from a modesty problem. She fi-nally began to overcome the problem while at-tending a career development program. As thevarious high-level managers in the group presen-ted their résumés, the thought struck Rachel thather credentials were well above average. As herself-regard increased, she became an even moreforceful member of top management. The mes-sage here is that using objective data to compareyour accomplishments with those of others canhelp you overcome undue modesty.

5. Reluctance to resolve problems through con-frontation. A sales manager felt frustrated be-cause one of her sales representatives was notputting enough energy into customer relations.The manager was hesitant to confront the em-ployee for fear of hurting her feelings. Becausethe manager did not confront the sales represent-ative, she continued to feel angry and guilty.

Perhaps the sales manager thought it was incon-sistent with her nurturing role to be confronta-tional. A manager who fails to confront when ne-cessary will not reach her full potential as a man-ager. Overcoming the dislike for confrontation isnot easy, but a useful starting point is to confronta person about small things, such as an improp-erly completed expense report. If this confronta-tion over a small issue goes well, the managercan move on to confrontations that involve pro-gressively more controversial issues.

The sales manager also has to ask herself what isso bad about confrontation. So what if the errantsales rep becomes upset? Being upset is part oflife in a competitive business environment. Themanager should also think through her role as amanager. Confronting group members aboutproblems is an important aspect of the manageri-al role.

6. Putting others' needs first. Many successfulwomen feel

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selfish when they put their own needs ahead ofthe needs of other people, even in the pursuit oftheir careers. Some middle managers spend con-siderable time helping their subordinates withwork problems and listening to their personalproblems. From the standpoint of the organiza-tion, this is desirable. An important role of man-agers is to develop others.

The problem is that the middle manager who de-votes too much time to subordinates will missout on activities that more readily lead to promo-tion. Among them are preparing suggestions forproductivity and quality improvement, and net-working with people who can help your career.A ninety-minute lunch with a powerful executivewill do more for your career than the sameamount of time spent listening to employees'problems.

I am not suggesting that callousness and Ma-chiavellianism replace human kindness in theworkplace. However, the woman who does notwant to subordinate her career needs to those ofothers must strike a balance. Investing even acouple of hours a month in forming allianceswith the right people can pay enormous careerdividends.

Do you recognize yourself here? If so, there aresteps you can take to overcome the traps just de-scribed. Something can be done about the sexrole stereotypes that compel successful womento sabotage their chances for achieving evengreater success. 2 Four approaches are recom-mended, all centering around the idea that theculture breeds self-defeating thinking amongsome successful women.

General Approaches for Women OvercomingSelf-Imposed Limits

1. Challenge your negative self-beliefs. Womenwho set limits on the levels of success they canachieve need to challenge their unrealistic andnegative beliefs about themselves. Being criticalof assertive or self-protective actions is particu-larly damaging. A manager might believe, forexample, that her anger at a careless subordinateis proof of her nasty disposition. The managerhas to challenge herself in words such as, "Get-ting angry at the right

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person is a sign of goodness. How will a goof-offever learn without my being confrontational?"

Another successful woman might feel guilty be-cause her overcrowded schedule makes it diffi-cult for her to accept any additional outside dir-ectorships. She must challenge her thinking insuch terms as, "True, I am a company presidentwho happens to be a woman. It doesn't mean thatI have to submit to every demand that accompan-ies my success."

2. Recognize the constraints placed on you bysex role socialization. Early-life experiencescondition some women to accept certain beliefsthat can inhibit high levels of success. Typical ofthese self-sabotaging ideas are that

Successful women are often unattractive tomen and therefore may not find a long-termrelationship with a man. It is unwomanly toengage in such aggressive behavior as ex-pressing anger, exercising power, and boast-ing.

It is bad to be selfish.

Other people's feelings and interests shouldbe put ahead of one's own.

It is important to assume responsibility forthe well-being of other people.

Laying out these stereotyped beliefs and tabooshelps identify their capacity for pushing a wo-man toward career self-sabotage. After exposingthese ideas to sunlight, they can be challenged.The next step is for the successful woman toconsciously modify her behavior, as needed.

3. Assert yourself. As an extension of the pointjust made, women must develop assertiveness inareas where they previously felt constrained.One area for change would be to clearly commu-nicate feelings, including anger and disappoint-ment. Limits must also be set on the unaccept-able actions of others. Suppose, for example, thata customer assumes a woman is an assistantandnot the vice-presidentbecause of her sex. Thevice-president, who in the past would have letthe incident slide, might now appropriately assertherself by saying matter-of factly: "I'm the vice-president with whom you have an appointment.

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How can I help you?" (Notice that the womanmakes her point, and probably feels better,without having belittled the sexist thinker.)

4. Achieve self-acceptance as a woman who iscompetent and successful. Many successful wo-men have a difficult time convincing themselvesthat they deserve their success. Remember theimposter complex described earlier? Achievingself-acceptance can be a long struggle, but it isworth the effort. The highest-placed woman inmanufacturing in her company told a group at amanagement conference: "I want many of you tofollow my lead. I deserve my success. I'veworked hard, and I know my stuff. I enjoy themeasure of success I've achieved. I also acceptthe fact that I have limitations. But they don'tbother me. I have what it takes to run my unit ofthe organization."

Men Who Lower the Ceiling on Their CareerSuccess

Women who lower the ceiling on their careersuccess, in the context described here, are re-sponding to cultural programming. They are sab-otaging their chances for even greater successbecause they have not yet been able to shake theexternal limitations placed upon them. Thesewomen impose limits on their success becausethey accept certain stereotypes. In contrast, somemen lower the ceiling on their career success be-cause they reject a pervasive stereotype about themale role.

The rejected stereotype is that managerial andprofessional men are more interested in worldlysuccess than they are in family or personal rela-tionships. From the standpoint of leading a bal-anced and rewarding life, these men may be bet-ter off than their traditionally minded counter-parts. The latter are willing to sacrifice familyand personal relationships for an extra rung ortwo on the organizational ladder.

Two groups of managerial and professional menreject the male sex role with respect to careergrowth: those involved in a new passion, anddaddy-trackers. Members of the first group maydo so unwittingly. Members of the second groupare making

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a conscious choice to reject certain stereotypesabout the male role. Career men with new-foundpassions and daddy-trackers may have laudablemotives and may be leading well-balanced lives.Nevertheless, they are usually setting limits onfurther career growth.

New-Found Passion

Some corporate ladder climbers suddenly be-come passionate about something other thantheir work. The sudden diversion is most likelyto occur as part of a mid-life crisis. The passionis often a new romance, but could also be a parti-cipant sport or a social cause. Whatever the newcommitment, the man invests so much energy inhis new passion that his work begins to slide. In-stead of arranging his personal life around work,the man begins to squeeze in work around hispersonal life. The result can be an intensely en-joyable personal life but sheer sabotage to his ca-reer.

Adrian, the distribution manager for a chemicalmanufacturer, supervised a staff of ten people in-volved in purchasing, warehousing, shipping, andcustomer service. His tour of duty in distributionwas designed to add breadth to his experience asa marketing manager. If Adrian performed well inthis assignment, he would be a leading contenderfor a vice-president of marketing position in thefuture.

Adrian had been divorced for three years. His twoteenage children lived with their mother just threemiles from his town house. Adrian began to re-build his social life while separated from his wife,but had not been involved in a serious relation-ship. Returning to his Detroit home base from abusiness trip, Adrian had a two-hour layover atO'Hare airport in Chicago because of a flightdelay.

After one-hour of shuffling through some busi-ness mail and reading The Wall Street Journal,Adrian decided to rest. As he closed his attachécase, he looked across the aisle. Seated acrossfrom him was a friendly-looking woman, aboutage 30, who appeared to be traveling alone. Adri-an waved hello, and to his surprise, she reciproc-ated.

Such was the beginning of a torrid commuter ro-mance between Adrian Markham and HeatherGladstone. Heather, a software training consult-ant, was on a business trip to Detroit, but lived ina suburb of Chicago. At least 400 miles andplenty of travel time separated them.

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Adrian and Heather fell passionately in love, butwith Heather remaining a little more committedto her work than Adrian was to his. During theweek he would daydream about Heather. Adrianbegan to leave the office early on Fridays in orderto get to Chicago. At first Adrian would fly, butas the costs mounted, he turned to driving. If theroad conditions were favorable, Adrian wouldleave the office by 11 A.M. on Friday, and be atHeather's home by 8 P.M. Heather did make sometrips to visit Adrian, but Adrian volunteered to domost of the traveling.

Adrian became preoccupied with scheming howto spend more time with Heather. He decided tobegin taking vacation days on Fridays andMondays and planned more and more businesstrips to the Chicago area. Although many of Adri-an's times away from the office were legitimatevacation days, he gave the appearance of beingnegligent. On many Mondays when Adrian wasphysically present, he was visibly fatigued. Othertimes, he was so preoccupied with planning histrips and thinking about Heather that his concen-tration suffered. After leaving Adrian's office,staff members would often gesture toward his as-sistant with a quizzical look and a shoulder shrug.

Adrian's boss did try to intervene. He asked Adri-an several times if he were experiencing a person-al problem the company could help him with.Adrian assured his boss that he had never felt bet-ter and that he was going through some very pos-itive changes in his life. Finally, his boss toldAdrian that he had to show greater mental in-volvement in his work and be a more reliablephysical presence. If he did not make thesechanges, he was told, he would have to accept theconsequences.

Adrian discussed the problem with Heather. Shesuggested that he spend less time visiting her inChicago. Heather also recommended that a littleless time together would be helpful to their rela-tionship. If they could retain their closeness des-pite less time together, it would be a sign that thetwo of them should live together or marry.

Instead of feeling reassured, Adrian panicked. Heinterpreted Heather's suggestion as a sign that shewanted to cool down their relationship. Adriannow telephoned Heather even more frequently,and insisted that he use up more of his vacationtime so they could be together.

Thirty days later, Adrian was demoted to distribu-tion analyst in the company. He was also told thatif his performance was not satisfactory in thisnew position, and if he did not spend more timein the office, he would be terminated. Adrian nowfelt that his career and personal life were in atailspin. Within several months, however, Adriandid solidify his relationship with Heather. Thetwo became engaged, and planned to live togetherwithin one year. Adrian hopes that Heather canmove to Detroit because he wants to remain nearhis children. Adrian is now performing satisfact-orily

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as a distribution analyst, but hopes again to be-come a manager at either his current or anothercompany.

Adrian's story has a reasonably happy outcome.He is only one promotion away from regaining amanagerial position, although he has sabotagedhis hopes of becoming a vice-president of mar-keting at his present company. If his relationshipwith Heather endures, one might argue that Adri-an has made an excellent trade-off. A great ro-mance is certainly worth a career sacrifice. Theoutcome might have been even happier for Adri-an had he explored ways of salvaging his mana-gerial position and his candidacy for a vice-pres-idency while carrying on his new romance.

Adrian ignored gentle hints from his assistantthat his superiors and subordinates were ques-tioning his behavior. He even failed to act on theverbal warnings of his boss. Adrian might havedone much less damage to his career if he hadconfronted himself in this way:

Heather is my passion, my preoccupation, and mygreat romance. For now, she is the driving forcein my life. After the surge of excitement is over, Iwill still love Heather. But I will probably alsoneed my career.

My career was a passion of mine for many years.It has subsided now, but I will need it again. Nouse throwing it overboard. Heather will still loveme if we can just work things out so that wespend ample time together without my beingderelict in my job responsibilities.

Adrian might also have followed Heather's ap-proach to juggling romance and career. She wasmore hesitant than Adrian to set aside her workfor the sake of the romance. Finally, other peoplehave pursued commuter relationships withoutsabotaging their careers. Adrian might havesought out such people and investigated howthey balanced work and personal life. If you areinvolved in a commuter relationship, follow theadvice offered to Adrian.

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The Daddy Track

Some men place themselves on a Daddy Trackwithout much encouragement from their employ-ers, or even much urging from the mother oftheir child or children. They have voluntarily re-duced their work load in order to devote moretime to parenting. Some men restrict themselvesto forty-hour weeks, others to four-day weeks,and some take extended parental leaves. Moreaccurately, these men are committing career sac-rifice, rather than career sabotage. In order to bemore active fathers, they are willingly sacrificingsome career momentum.

For some Daddy Trackers, the career slippage isslight. Many men regularly take their childrenoff to the child-care center and visit them atlunch. Although early morning and lunchtimecan be classified as personal time, not beingavailable at such hours can still hamper one's ca-reer. Many employers call meetings at 7:30A.M., and many important business contacts aredeveloped at breakfast or luncheon meetings.Chris is a man who is willing to accept moderatecareer slippage in order to be a more active fath-er.

It's a typical weekday morning in Half Moon Bay,California. At 8:15 Chris is getting ready to leavefor work. Two-year old Willie clutches a new toyfootball as he climbs into his child seat in thefamily car. Buffer, Chris's wife, also gets into thecar. Chris gets behind the wheel. The family startson a half-hour drive to the biotechnology com-pany where the couple work as researchers.

The ride proves to be eventful. Chris and Buffercruise behind a truck loaded with redwood logsand answer Willie's questions about trees andlumber and houses. They see a van on fire andquiet Willie's fears. Coming over a hill, theywatch jets take off from San Francisco Interna-tional Airport. Driving into the industrial parkthat houses the company's million-dollar day-carecenter, they pass a train depot. An obliging engin-eer toots a whistle and Willie beams.

The joy turns into trauma when Willie is re-minded that he must leave his football in the car.No outside toys are allowed in the day-care cen-ter. The tantrum is still ringing in Chris's ears ashe settles into his labor work around 9 A.M.

And so begins one more of the eight-hour daysthat for working father Chris constitute a career.At 34, after nine years at the laboratory, Chris has

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new priorities. As with his lab partners in the car-diovascular department, he used to work longweekends searching for miracle drugs. Now, onSaturdays and Sundays, he's home with Willie,hard at play. While his colleagues stay late onweekdays, attempting to unlock chemical secrets,Chris is picking up his son from the day-care cen-ter and dealing with the mysteries of childhood.

''I can't have my child in day care for a 12-hourday," says Chris. "He won't be my child. Whenyou're all done, someone else will have raisedhim." As part of his commitment to being an act-ive parent, Chris took off three months duringWillie's first year to get to know him better. Theleave also gave Buffer the opportunity to return towork.

So Chris works from 9 A.M. to 5:45 P.M. andresigns himself to treading water in his job, evenas Buffer climbs past him on the corporate ladderat the company. "I'll sacrifice the career," he says.Then he corrects himself. "Not exactly sacrifice,but I'll kind of put it on hold." 3

Chris has knowingly accepted a career plateau inorder to be an active parent. If he is truly happywith his decision, he has not committed evenmild career self-sabotage. However, his passionfor spending time with his son could conceivablybe clouding his judgment. It would probably bepossible for Chris to sacrifice just six hours perweek of parenting and still advance in his career.Maybe it will be to Willie's advantage in the longrun for his dad not to make too big a career sacri-fice. Suppose Willie's mother doesn't rise as highas she wants to in her career. Which parent thenwill be able to send Willie to the college andgraduate school of his choice? Who will be ableto purchase Willie the car he may want as a highschool junior or senior?

Maybe Buffer could take over if Chris workedone or two twelve-hour days per week and oneSaturday per month. This would still enableChris to accomplish his parenting goals. At thesame time, he would be preparing for the contin-gency that ten years from now he may wish thathe had not shortchanged his career.

Machismo and Self-Sabotage

An exaggerated sense of one's masculinity canbe self-defeating because it leads to sexist think-ing. Sexual discrimination and

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sexual harassment are also sometimes a by-product. The machomale may damage his careerby thinking of women employees as being suitedonly for support positions. He may make fre-quent use of such terms as "dear," "honey," and"be a nice girl" when conversing with womenemployees and customers. Even more troubling,he may create a harassing work environment bytelling sexually oriented jokes or taking libertiesdegrading to women.

A man's belief, arising from machismo, that wo-men are best relegated to support positions, candamage his career because it often means that hecannot accept working for a woman. Nick exper-ienced this problem to the point where it sabot-aged both his career and his marriage.

Nick was a well-respected manager at IBM withtwenty-six years of experience. Co-workers sawhim as a dedicated and responsible worker whohad continued to develop his managerial skills.Nick was known as a traditional thinker, someonewho was satisfied both with his family life andwith his career.

Nick had three grown children, two of whomwere out on their own. His youngest daughter wasin college. He frequently talked about theirachievements with his co-workers.

Nick enjoyed working for his boss, Joe, withwhom he had an excellent working relationship.He was disappointed that Joe was being trans-ferred to another department, but accepted thefact that IBM encourages managers to acquirebroad experience. Nick's disappointment turned tooutrage when he was informed that his new bosswas going to be a woman younger than himself.Nick didn't know how he could take orders from awoman. He wondered how he could tell his wifeand friends that he was now working for a "girl."Driven by a sense of humiliation, Nick resignedwithout having first conducted a job search.

Nick's sudden resignation stunned people at theoffice, and created turmoil at home. He and hiswife, Nancy, had been living in the same town forthe better part of their married life. Nancy had de-veloped close ties with friends and neighbors, andwas emotionally attached to their house. DespiteNancy's attachment to the community, Nickwanted to make a fresh start and leave town. Healso had little choice because managerial job op-portunities in their area were very limited.

Although Nancy valued her relationship withNick, she decided not to move because of his irra-tional act of resigning from IBM. She tried toconvince Nick to plead for his old job back, buthe refused. They continued to fight over the issueof leaving town, but Nick was intractable. As the

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couple continued to fight, their relationship de-teriorated. They agreed to separate, and Nick fi-nally relocated to the south, hoping to find newemployment and a better life. 4

It won't be easy for Nick to regain the stature andrelatively high income he enjoyed at IBM. Hemay also soon regret having precipitated thebreakup of a good marriage. Nick's resignationin response to having a female boss was but asymptom of his underlying problem. Nick'smacho conception of the world created his senseof humiliation when he heard about his newboss. He didn't even stop to give the relationshipwith her a try. Nick could very likely haveavoided his problems if he had at any pointstopped to compare his old-world thinking withthe real world as it is today.

Nick's employer, IBM, is one of the most ad-vanced companies in the training and develop-ment programs it offers its employees. Nickcould have taken advantage of an awareness de-velopment program tailored to his needs. Suchprograms help people to confront their attitudesand develop empathy and toleration for people ofdifferent demographic characteristics. Shouldyou have difficulty overcoming traditional think-ing about power relationships at work, diversityawareness training could prove helpful to you.

Ultrafemininity and Self-Sabotage

Just as a man's attempt to be overmasculine canhurt his career, a woman's attempt to be overfem-inine can hurt her career. Many people have ob-served, for example, that women who are veryglamorous, sexily dressed, and overly feminine(as defined by cultural stereotypes) limit theirpromotability. Women who rate very high onphysical attractiveness are readily welcomed intosecretarial, clerical, support, and sales positions.However, a woman who is perceived as tooglamorous and physically attractive is less likelyto be nominated for a high-level managerial pos-ition. In recognition of this problem, wardrobeconsultants typically advise managerial and pro-fessional women to avoid wearing large earrings,dangling jewelry, and spiked heels. In

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addition, they are advised to wear their hair atshoulder length or above.

In what way does being very feminine, charm-ing, and glamorous sabotage a woman's chancesof climbing the managerial ladder? My investig-ation into this matter has revealed severalthemes. The male executive who promoted theglamorous woman may be accused of being un-duly influenced by her appearance. To avoidhaving this judgment questioned, the male exec-utive will thus shy away from promoting an ul-trafeminine woman, other factors being equal. Ifno other well-qualified candidate is under con-sideration, a glamour image will not handicapthe woman.

Male executives who promote unusually glamor-ous women to high-level positions may be con-cerned that they will be accused of being ro-mantically involved with them. One executiveexpressed his concern that he would find it dis-tracting to work closely with a beautiful womanexecutive. He said he would have a difficult timecontrolling his feelings of physical attraction to-ward her. Asked whether the same problemwould extend to working with women below himin rank, he replied: "To some extent, I do havethat problem with any beautiful woman in the of-fice. Yet it's a bigger problem if you workclosely with a woman day in, day out, and go onbusiness trips with her. To keep any possible ro-mantic feelings from distracting me, I hire wo-men who dress and groom professionally. It hasnot been a problem in our company. This is anoffice, not a posh retail store. Almost all our wo-men employees dress in a professional manner."He went on: "I'm just saying that I wouldn't hire

an assistant who was so glamorous that I thoughtof her as a sexy woman. On the job I prefer tothink of a woman as just another member of theteam, not as a prospective sexual partner."

Finally, ultrafemininity handicaps a woman's ac-cess to higher-level positions in a way that in-volves circular reasoning. Wardrobe consultants,human resource professionals, and businessschools tell women to deemphasize glamour inorder to appear more professional (and promot-able). Such information is widely disseminatedand accepted as true. People in power thereforebuy into the idea that an overglamorous image isnot very professional for women. (The same isless true for men.) Dressing and grooming in anoverglamorous manner, including wearing

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enticing perfume, is therefore a negative factorwhen a woman is considered for a middle- ortop-management position.

Margot, an office supervisor in an insurance com-pany, regularly received satisfactory (or better)performance evaluations. Her unit of the com-pany was in charge of the paperwork involved inreinsurance (sharing part of the company's insur-ance risk with other insurance companies). A va-cancy was soon to be created at the next level ofmanagement because of a retirement.

Margot did not know if she would automaticallybe considered as a candidate for the manager ofreinsurance. She therefore took the initiativetelling her boss that she would like to be con-sidered for the vacancy. Her manager said that shewould pass this information on to the next levelof management.

Two months later, Margot read on her electronicmail that another supervisor had been promotedto the post of manager of reinsurance. Margot wasdisappointed, but not shocked. The woman whodid receive the promotion also appeared to bequalified. As the weeks passed, Margot's curiositygrew as to why she had not been chosen. She alsowondered why she was not given an explanation.

When Margot asked her boss why she had not re-ceived the promotion, her boss told her that shewould arrange an interview for Margot with thevice-president in charge of the selection commit-tee. The vice-president told Margot candidly, "Iguess this is something somebody should havetold you a long time ago. You have a reputationfor having an unprofessional image. You act oneway toward men, and another way toward wo-men.

"I recall a meeting we had to discuss staffing inyour department," he explained. "You acted in aflirtatious, almost seductive, manner when plead-ing your case to a man at that meeting. You act ina much more professional manner toward women.The point also came up in the selection meetingthat your appearance needs toning down. Afterall, this is an insurance company. No other wo-man supervisor dresses the way you do."

Margot was initially enraged with the feedbackshe received. Her first thought was that she wasbeing denied a promotion just because she at-tempted to be charming and took pride in her ap-pearance. She also wondered if she might be avictim of sex discrimination. Margot dismissedthat idea quickly because the person chosen forthe position was a woman.

Margot's third thought was more constructive,and one that could in time reverse the sabotageshe had already imposed on her career. Shewould make a conscious effort, while in the of-fice,

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to relate to men and women in the same way.She would also conform more closely to the in-formal company dress code. Margot could stillfind ways to express her uniqueness in dress andappearance without creating a distraction.

Assume you are a woman who frequently sexu-alizes male and female relationships on the job.To prevent career self-sabotage, follow Margot'slead in relating to men in the same manner asyou relate to women.

Ultrafeminism and Self-Sabotage

As the women's liberation movement becamebetter understood, it was referred to by many asthe sex role liberation movement. One of thepurposes of the movement was to allow people,both men and women, the freedom to act outsideof rigid sex roles. The sex role liberation move-ment soon came to be seen as part of a larger hu-man rights movement. Its purpose is to freeeverybody from discrimination and from beinglocked into roles that are determined by sex,race, ethnicity, physical status, and so forth.

Despite the general acceptance of the sex roleliberation movement, and the importance of hu-man rights, being perceived as an unyielding andrigid feminist can be self-sabotaging. A womanwho quickly attacks anyone who does or saysanything that could even hint at sexism becomesan uncomfortable work companion. She putsmen and women on the defensive when they aresimply engaging in the normal social amenitiesor using only mildly sexist language. Here is achecklist of ultrafeminist responses or behaviorpatterns that could be self-sabotaging becausethey alienate others. (An ultrafeminist malecould be equally guilty of some of these.) Beloweach ultrafeminist response is a recommended al-ternative that makes the same point but in a lesshostile manner.

Ultrafeminist Response: When a man opens adoor for her, she says: "Thank you, I am per-fectly capable of opening doors for myself."

Better: "Thank you, but I actually enjoy openingdoors. It tones my arm muscles."

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Ultrafeminist Response: When a man says to her,"You look lovely today," she responds: "Loveli-ness has nothing to do with business. I don'twant our relationship to be sexualized."

Better: "Thanks for the compliment. Now, aboutthat budget we are going to discuss today. . . ."

Ultrafeminist Response: When a woman says toher, "I like your idea, I'll discuss it further withthe girls in the office," she responds: "Sincewhen has our company violated the child laborlaws? To my knowledge, we only employ wo-men."

Better: "Girls? Oh, I get it. You're referring to thewomen in your department. You had me con-fused for a moment."

Ultrafeminist Response: When a man says,"What would be the woman's point of viewabout this safety feature?" she responds: "Thereis no such thing as a 'woman's point of view.' Ican only speculate upon a person's point of viewbased upon his or her life situation."

Better: "In my opinion, safety is a unisex issue."

Ultrafeminist Response: When a co-worker po-litely asks a woman out for dinner a third timedespite two refusals, she responds: "Are youaware that badgering me to go out with you is aform of sexual harassment?"

Better: "Thanks anyway, but again I cannot ac-cept your invitation. I keep my social and worklives entirely separate."

Ultrafeminist Response: When a male co-workerasks a woman if she would be willing to bakecookies for an office party, she responds: "Areyou asking me just because I'm a woman? Whynot ask one of the men in the office? They areequally capable of baking cookies."

Better: "Sorry, you've asked the wrong person. Idon't enjoy baking cookies. What else needs do-ing? I wouldn't mind rear-ranging the desks forthe party."

The initial statements just presented are certainlywithin the rights of a feminist thinker to make.Because of their strident tone, however, they arelikely to make others defensive. Of greater signi-ficance for a person's career, they can erode awoman's base of support and head her towardself-defeat.

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The ultrafeminist does not have to sacrifice herideals in order to prevent career self-sabotage.Instead, she can capitalize on the sexist state-ments of others by using them to educate ratherthan to alienate. The reply to the "girls in the of-fice" statement presented above is a good ex-ample of a response that informs rather than ant-agonizes.

Flaunting a Homosexual Life-Style in a Tradi-tional Setting

The climate for gay men and lesbians in theworkplace is changing for the better. Gays andlesbians have traditionally received better treat-ment in some fields than others, but peopleknown to be gay are now more easily accepted ina greater variety of fields. Part of this acceptancecan be attributed to the human rights movement.Another part is due to the growing recognitionthat approximately 10 percent of the populationis gay.

Of even greater potential significance, a growingbody of legislation provides equal rights to gaysand lesbians. For example, New York State hasan executive order that prohibits discriminationagainst state employees based on sexual orienta-tion. Yet despite this increasing climate of ac-ceptance, it can be career-sabotaging for an indi-vidual to flaunt a homosexual life-style in mostwork settings. The more traditional the setting,the bigger the problem. A nurse describes whathappened to a physician she knew:

I met Dr. Chelsea when he was a first-year resid-ent at a local hospital. He had arrived from theSouth with his new bride. She found employmentas a medical secretary in the department of hisresidency. The couple settled in for four gruelingyears.

After completing his residency, Dr. Chelsea, hiswife, and infant daughter returned to the South toestablish a practice close to home. Chelsea wasnot happy, however, because the type of medicinehe practiced there was not as specialized or chal-lenging as what he had worked on during his res-idency. As his discontent mounted, Chelsea wasoffered the opportunity to enter a successfulgroup practice in the city of his residency. Al-though Dr. Chelsea and his wife were reluctant toleave the South, they both saw the move backnorth as a good professional opportunity.

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The Chelseas enjoyed all the trappings of a suc-cessful suburban familya fine home and furnish-ings, expensive clothing, luxurious vacations, andthe like. Soon after their return, the couple had aninfant son. Life was truly pleasant for theChelseas. However, their idyllic existence cameto an end when Dr. Chelsea, after many years ofdoubt and self-recrimination, acknowledged thathe had now chosen homosexuality over bisexual-ity. Mrs. Chelsea filed for divorce and returnedwith the children to her family's home in theSouth.

Dr. Chelsea changed from a conservative mannerof dress and behavior to one of flamboyance. Hebegan wearing an earring on one ear and adoptedsome of the stereotypical mannerisms of an ef-feminate male. Chelsea became indiscreet withhis relationships, often inviting his numerous lov-ers to meet him at the office during workinghours. On occasion he would greet them with abuss on the cheek and a hug. He was sometimesseen around town walking down the street hold-ing hands with a male companion.

After much discussion, the partners decided thatChelsea's behavior was tarnishing their staid, pro-fessional image. Consequently, they askedChelsea to resign from his position. Dr. Chelsea isnow in a solo practice that he finds to be verytime-consuming. The practice is also not very luc-rative because his heavy expenses are not sharedwith others, and his patient load is moderate. 5

The medical partners who asked Dr. Chelsea toresign might be condemned as narrow-mindedbigots. They used the oldest excuse in the worldfor job discrimination: "It's not our attitudes. Butwhat will our patients [customers/clients/stock-holders/fans] think?" Another point of view isthat Chelsea's flamboyant display of a nontradi-tional life-style created too much controversy,and the partners just did not want to deal with it.They may also have had some legitimate con-cerns about the impact of Chelsea's flamboyanceon their practice.

At last report, Chelsea is not happy, nor is he asfinancially well off as he was. He has thus com-mitted career self-sabotage. Turning from bi-sexuality to homosexuality is not the cause ofChelsea's self-sabotage. He has every right topursue the sexual orientation that best suits him.Flaunting his life-style, despite working in a con-servative medical practice, was his undoing.

Wearing an earring to work is no longer very un-usual. Many heterosexual males have adoptedthis practice, originally initiated

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by gays. Meeting his lovers in the office andhugging them in front of patients, however, wasself-sabotaging. If Dr. Chelsea really wanted toremain part of the group practice, he might havechallenged his own behavior. The same shouldbe done by every rational person engaged in self-sabotage. Chelsea might have asked himself:"Why am I doing this to my career? Why am Idoing this to myself?"

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9Career-Choking Addictions

Addiction to a counterproductive habit is a lead-ing cause of career self-sabotage. Careers arewrecked every day by compulsions to do thingsthat either harm one's physical and mental healthor drain productive energy away from the job.Even if the addictive behavior itself does notseverely damage one's career, its side effects can.For example, compulsive spenders can confinetheir shopping binges to nonworking hours. Yetthe debts they accumulate, the creditors hound-ing them, and the inevitable family strife com-bine to interfere with work concentration. Enga-ging in addictive behavior, and dealing with itsby-products, becomes a job in itself.

An unhappy fact about career-choking addictionsis that nearly everyone can fall prey to one. Thecapacity to be addicted lurks inside us all. Everyfield of endeavor contains case histories of suc-cessful people whose addictive behavior didsevere damage to or even ruined their careers.Here I describe the addictions that are mostlikely to create problems for career-mindedpeople: addiction to failure itself, to alcohol,drugs, food, gambling, spending, and sex.

The traditional view of addictions is that they arestrangulating diseases that create lifelong prob-lems. Looked at in this way, the prospects ofovercoming an addiction are quite slim. A moreoptimistic viewpoint is to regard an addiction asmaladaptive behavior that is under a person'sconscious control. Looking upon addictions thisway suggests that you can overcome an addic-tion.

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With most addictions, people have enoughchoice in the matter at least to prevent their habitfrom destroying their careers and personal lives.

Addiction to Failure

Some otherwise successful people become ad-dicted to choking under heavy pressure. Justwhen peak performance is required, they per-form at a level way below their usual level ofachievement. Unlike most addictions, the failureaddiction has no benefit that is visible on the sur-face. A person addicted to chocolates at least de-rives temporary satisfaction from eating them.The negative consequences (such as weight gain,temporary depression, or complexion problems)set in later. A failure addiction, however, doeshave a hidden gain. The person with such an ad-diction may have an unstated need for self-pun-ishment, a need to wallow in misery.

Ted Stolberg, a specialist in turning aroundtroubled companies, claims he can usually detecta company owner who is a failure addict: ''He'sthe guy who orders two martinis, chain smokes,is 30 pounds overweight, talks real fast, and istwitchy. At his office, he yells at his secretaryand surrounds himself with weak people who hecan easily manipulate." 1 An important implica-tion of this description is that people often sufferfrom multiple addictions. The man just describedis addicted to failure, alcohol, and tobacco.

A distinguishing feature of the failure addictionis that it usually does not manifest itself until thestakes are high. Under these circumstances theperson is being truly tested. Similarly, many ath-letes turn in superb, calm performances whenthey do not face a threatening opponent. Alan, alabor relations negotiator who suffered a mildaddiction to failure but then recovered, describeshow the problem affected him.

Ever since I can remember my career goal was tobecome a top-flight labor negotiator. In pursuit ofmy goals I obtained both a master's degree inlabor relations and a law degree. I became a laborrelations attorney for a steel

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producer. But this didn't mean in any way that Iwas anti-union. If the opportunity had been right,I would have readily worked for a labor union.

My career began by my helping to prepare labor-management agreements. It was interesting buttedious work. It also helped prepare me to get dir-ectly involved in negotiations. My negotiating ex-perience began with my working on relativelysmall provisions of the agreement. I negotiatedsuch things as disability insurance, wash-up timefor employees, and how much the companywould contribute to the cost of safety shoes.

The issues I negotiated were resolved fairly well.We came to agreement on big points and smallpoints without too much haggling. My companywas satisfied, and so was the union. When it cametime for me to lead the negotiation team over abig issue, it was a different story. I began to getthe shakes. The night before negotiations overpay, I suffered from gastrointestinal discomfort.So much so that I thought I would have to call insick the next day.

My jitters were well justified. I bungled mattersthe next day by irritating the union with an in-sensitive remark about them being hogs. The uni-on negotiators became so irritated that they pro-longed negotiations a few extra weeks. I estimatethat we settled for a dollar more per hour than wewould have if I hadn't goofed.

I was angry with myself because I had a historyof choking in the past. I was known to have ex-cellent presentation skills in college. Yet on twooccasions I stumbled miserably when I had togive a presentation that was a big chunk of my fi-nal grade. I've had the same problem in golf. Ishoot my best when I play by myself. But whenit's a competitive foursome, I miss far too manyeasy putts.

My company was not upset enough with my ne-gotiating skill to bench me. The little successes Ihad achieved helped preserve my reputation. Mywork proceeded well for the next couple of years.Much of my success was linked to the fact that Iwas not faced with major issues to negotiate.Then came my big chance. Management andlabor were negotiating some major differencesover medical insurance for union workers. Theunion threatened to strike if they couldn't get whatthey wanted. It was my job, assisted by others onour team, to get them to settle without a strike.

I had formulated some great tactics before thesession. I would be conciliatory, and complimentthe union for wanting to settle this important issueto the benefit of both sides. Unfortunately mystrategy didn't work. The union reps accused meof trying to manipulate them with "mind games."Negotiations went downhill from that point for-ward. Finally, the company had its first strike inten years. The strike only lasted five days, and wemade a reasonable settlement. So my reputationwas tarnished, but not ruined.

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At that point I decided I had to do somethingabout my choking. If I wanted to be a good nego-tiator under fire, I had to stop screwing up at thebig moment.

Alan did do something about his problem. Hesought the advice of a psychologist who special-ized in behavior modification. The psychologistexplained Alan's problem in terms of his havingextreme anxiety about performing well. Alan'sperformance anxiety was creating his chokingtoday as it had in the past. He was anxiousprimarily when the stakes were high because thiswas when poor performance would be the mostvisible, and when he had the most to lose.

Alan's remedial program was to study a video-tape on positive imagery intended to reducestress and anxiety under pressure. He learned tovisualize himself in a tough negotiating session,acting in a confident and self-assured manner. Hethought of himself executing his strategy su-perbly, instead of fumbling his lines. The visual-ization technique worked for Alan. He now re-ports much more confidence and success inhandling tough negotiating sessions. Anotherway of explaining Alan's use of visualization isthat he mentally rehearses a good performancebefore entering a situation he anticipates will beanxiety-provoking.

You too can benefit from visualization if you fre-quently choke under pressure. Before enteringinto the situation in which you are concernedabout choking, first force yourself to relax. Per-haps an hour before the command performance,exhale and inhale a few times. Then create amental image of yourself giving a peak perform-ance. Imagine yourself stating your point incrisp, impressive language. At the end of themeeting (or other important situation), the keypeople there are congratulating you for a job welldone. Smile and savor your victorious moment.

Alcohol Abuse

Alcoholism is a major form of self-sabotage,self-defeat, and self-destruction among workersat all levels. In support of this fact, the treatmentof alcoholics constitutes more than a billion dol-lar-

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a-year industry in North America. 2 Every readerknows at least one person who has suffered aserious career setback because of his or her alco-hol abuse. A curious aspect of alcoholism amongexecutives is that they often hold on to their pos-itions for a long time before suffering a seriouscareer setback. Ramsey is one such person.

Ramsey was the dean of social sciences at a stateuniversity, a position he held for seven years. Be-fore that he was an associate dean at another insti-tution. Above all, Ramsey is likable and noncon-troversial. Youthful in appearance and affable,Ramsey was described by his supporters as"strong in human relations skills" and "sensitiveto people." When Ramsey was not directly or in-directly under the effects of alcohol, he was an ef-fective administrator.

A glimpse of Ramsey's operating style helps ex-plain how he functioned as an academic dean, al-though an alcohol abuser. Ramsey surroundedhimself with capable assistants and delegated sub-stantial responsibility to them. Faculty, staff, andstudents, for instance, recognized that Ramsey'sadministrative assistant provided the answers tomost minor problems.

When a faculty member wanted quick approval ofa minor travel expenditure, the unofficial wordwas "Ask Marge. She'll get it approved." When astudent required a class section change because ofa personality conflict with a professor, Marge didmost of the detailed administrative work such ascourse scheduling and budgeting. Committeeswere assigned to study all special problems thatarose, such as whether to inaugurate an interna-tional studies major.

Ramsey would review reports and make actionrecommendations during the morning hours. Ashe told an assistant professor, "I'll discuss yourcommittee report on academic standards with youin the morning. I think better on an empty stom-ach."

Ramsey drank heavily at lunch about three days aweek. Marge protected him from visitors on thosedays by scheduling meetings only between 10:00and 12:00 in the morning. Emergency meetingswere scheduled between 3:00 and 5:00 P.M. onthe days he drank heavily at lunch. Ramsey ra-tionalized that "People can discuss their workconcerns best over a drink." As a result, he wouldinvite faculty and staff members to join him at anearby cocktail lounge around 5:00 in the after-noon. For Ramsey a drink meant an alcoholicbeverage, whereas many of those who joined himordered sparkling water, tonic, or fruit juice.

Conventions and professional meetings allowedRamsey to feed his alcohol addiciton for days at atime. One of Ramsey's former faculty membersdescribes his social behavior at a convention:

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Ramsey is a great person to attend a meetingwith. He has no intention of listening to presenta-tions and bringing ideas back to the school. All hewants to do is glad-hand and drink. Few people Ihave met could keep up with Ramsey's drinking.During the three days of meetings, Ramsey kepton encouraging me to have a few drinks to loosenup a little.

His recurring expression at the meeting was thatsince we work so hard, we should relax when wehave the chance. Despite his heavy drinking,Ramsey was back in his office Monday morning.He would chat with people and tell them what agreat professional experience the meetings were.

Word of Ramsey's excessive delegation andlengthy lunch breaks eventually got back to thecentral administrative staff of the university.Ramsey was confronted about the consequencesof his drinking problem, and asked to step downas dean of social studies. He admitted sadly thathe had a disease that needed to be cured. Given afour-month leave of absence to seek help for hisdrinking problem, Ramsey enrolled in an alcoholabuse clinic.

During his leave Ramsey decided that it would betoo embarrassing for him to return to the college,especially in a capacity other than dean. With hisdrinking under better control, Ramsey conducteda job search. He found a position as an admis-sions counselor at a small liberal arts college. Al-though his pay and status were both substantiallyreduced, Ramsey looked forward to the new chal-lenge. He hoped that his alcoholism was perman-ently under control.

What Ramsey should have done to prevent hisdrinking from sabotaging his career depends onyour viewpoint of the nature of alcoholism.Ramsey followed the traditional, "disease mod-el" of alcoholism. He waited until he en-countered a severe problem, and only then did hego to a clinic to cure his disease. According to aHarvard Medical School psychiatrist:

The central premise of the disease concept of al-cohol is that the alcoholic cannot control his orher drinkingone drink usually leads in time totwenty. Alcoholism is a chronic, long-term dis-ease over which one has no control and which hasan inevitable downhill course. There is no cureexcept to stop drinkingcompletely and forgood. . . . An alcoholic can no more control his orher drinking than a diabetic can control the mal-functioning of the pancreas. 3

The more optimistic viewpoint contends that al-coholism is a counterproductive habit that can bebroken. The disease interpre-

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tation of alcoholism leads many alcohol abusersto believe that because they are diseased someexternal force is required to cure them. By con-trast, if alcoholism is regarded as a bad habit, themajority of alcohol abusers can learn modera-tion.

Many experts, in fact, believe that alcoholics canand do moderate their drinking. They considerthe likelihood of relapse greater if the recoveringalcohol abuser thinks that craving and loss ofcontrol are inevitable. Equally harmful is the be-lief that a single drink of an alcoholic beverageleads to uncontrollable drinking. At scientificconferences on alcoholism treatment, a return tosocial drinking is considered to be a realisticgoal. 4

If Ramsey had believed that his heavy drinkingcould be reduced to a comfortable level of socialdrinking, he might have curtailed his drinkingmuch sooner. Ramsey's drinking pattern was sig-nificant. If he could confine his drinking to threeafternoons per week, he could also have learnedto reduce it even more drastically. An alcoholicrarely drinks in a church, on a subway, or whilean airplane is on the runway. The reason is thatthey choose not to drink in those situations ratherthan face the outrage and ostracism of others.According to the counterproductive habit view-point, most alcohol abusers can learn to confinetheir drinking to limited situations and limitedamounts.

Measuring Your Tendency toward Developing aDangerous Dependency

The first step in overcoming alcohol abuse, orany other substance abuse, is to determine if youhave a problem. Why don't you take the self-audit "Do I Have a Substance Abuse Problem?"5The results could tell you whether you are devel-oping a dangerous dependency. Respond to eachquestion with "always," "sometimes," or "never."

We are all occasionally vulnerable to pressuresthat can create some of these symptoms. Break-ups of relationships, problems with relationships,family illness, or career changes can often leadto depression, lethargy, frequent illness, or sub-standard job performance. However, if you re-sponded "sometimes" or "always" to four ormore of the above questions, it is time forchanges in your behavior. Get your self-defeat-ing behavior under control bit

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DO I HAVE A SUBSTANCE ABUSE PROBLEM?

1. Do I show excessive absenteeism on Monday, Friday, and days before and after holi-days?

2. Do I have unexcused and frequent absences?

3. Have I been tardy lately?

4. Have I been leaving work early?

5. Do I have altercations with co-workers?

6. Have I blacked out or fainted recently?

7. Have I had strong cravings for alcohol or other drugs?

8. Do I make demands on my doctor for refills of prescriptions before they are due?

9. Have I been disoriented and forgetful lately?

10. Have I suffered from memory lapses lately?

11. Do I have unexplainable status of apathy or elation?

12. Am I lethargic?

13. Have I been getting into accidents?

14. Have others told me that my appearance is deteriorating?

15. Has my job performance been slipping?

by bit, such as first eliminating all alcoholic beverages during normal working hours.Then move on to cutting your after-hours drinking to two or three drinks daily, a relat-ively safe level. If you cannot overcome your problem by yourself, get professional help.

Alcohol and drug abuse lead to predictable behaviors and feelings. Among them are ab-senteeism, especially on Mondays and Fridays; frequent accidents, ranging from minor tomajor; lateness; unreliability. Physical signs such as blackouts and chronic fatigue oremotional signals such as mood swings or irritability are common. Relationships with co-workers deteriorate because abusers are edgy or have to cover up.

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Drug Abuse

Drug abuse among high-achieving managerialand professional workers is not uncommon. Ap-proximately 5 percent of these people abusedrugs to the point of impaired job performance.Drug abuse appears to be particularly prevalentamong people in high-pressure jobs. The averagework week for managers and professionals isnow fifty-three hours, up from forty-four hourstwenty years ago. Heavy work loads of thisnature cause job stress for many people, creatingthe conditions in which drug abuse flourishes.The person most likely to abuse drugs whenfaced with heavy pressures is someone with alow frustration tolerance and a need for immedi-ate gratification.

Drug abuse leads to career self-sabotage for thesame reasons that alcohol abuse does: It leads tomental and physical health problems, includingimpaired concentration and judgment. What isnot widely recognized is that the abuse of legal(prescription) drugs can be as harmful as the ab-use of illegal ones. According to MichaelCavanagh, legal drug abuse is more apt to go un-detected because these abusers are typicallymiddle-aged or older workers with conventionalvalues and behavior. They don't fit the stereotypeof the adventuresome young drug abuser. 6

Nancy has been employed by the same companyfor the past five years. She is generally a friendly,high-performing worker. She recently wentthrough a difficult divorce and is now a singleparent with two children. During the last sixmonths she has displayed stress symptoms atwork. Nancy talks louder and faster than usual.Her poor concentration leads her to make carelessmistakes. She interrupts people frequentlywithout seeming to be aware of her rudeness.

The primary factor that brought Nancy to the at-tention of her supervisor was her attitude change.She went from being a person who was easy toget along with to one who regularly criticized theperformance and behavior of her co-workers. Ontop of this, she recently got into a shouting matchwith her supervisor and threatened to quit.

The supervisor liked Nancy but found herchanged behavior so intolerable that she referredNancy to a counselor in the employee assistanceprogram. Nancy resented the referral but followedthrough to satisfy her supervisor. She told thecounselor, "Look, I will talk to you a couple of

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times, but you should really be seeing my co-workers and supervisor. They have more prob-lems than I do."

The more the counselor tried to help Nancy seethat her behavior was self-defeating, the more up-set she became. Because Nancy's behaviorchanged around the time of her divorce, the coun-selor concluded that the pressures of the divorcehad caused her problems. 7

What the counselor did not know was that Nancyhad been depressed during her divorce and that aphysician had prescribed a stimulant (antide-pressant drug) for her. Nancy had taken the pre-scribed dosage and found very little relief fromsymptoms of depression. At Nancy's request, herphysician increased the dosage. Nancy also wentto another doctor to obtain more antidepressantmedication. She therefore became an unwittinglegal drug abuser, and its side effects led to beha-vior problems on the job.

Nancy's employee assistance counselor mighthave done a more thorough analysis of thefactors surrounding her problems. He shouldhave coordinated his efforts with those of thephysician caring for Nancy. At a minimum, heshould have taken a more thorough history.Nancy, and others like her, cannot be faulted fortaking prescription drugs. She can be faulted,however, for deceptively getting another physi-cian to prescribe similar medication for her. Be-ing deceptive is part of Nancy's problem.

The key factor in preventing this type of careerself-sabotage is to keep in the forefront of yourmind that heavy drug usage is self-defeating.You should also remember that heavy job pres-sures or personal problems often create the stressthat prompts people into going beyond recre-ational drug use. If you experience heavy jobpressures, the sensible and productive antidote isto enroll in a program of stress management.

Eating Disorders

Compulsive overeating can readily become an-other type of career-choking addiction. Oneproblem is that an overweight person cannot pro-ject the healthy, trim image many organizationsprefer for their key people. This can result in los-ing an important

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promotion or assignment. A second problem as-sociated with extreme overeating is the physicalrepercussions: lethargy and the reduced energyand mental quickness required to achieve peakperformance.

Compulsive undereating can also sabotage yourcareer. A person who looks anorexic (extraordin-arily thin) projects a sick, unhealthy look. Suchan appearance is perhaps even worse for your ca-reer than being obese. Someone who is morethan 20 percent below the normal weight rangefor people in their age-height-build-sex categorymay go through some profound changes in per-sonality and behavior. Unfortunately, thesechanges are all of a negative kind.

Anorexics or near-anorexics typically become ir-ritable and unsocial. They become increasinglyunable to concentrate on anything but food.Compulsive undereaters are forever pestering co-workers about the amount of calories, cholester-ol, and fat in food. They brag about such thingsas not having eaten a candy bar, used salt, oreaten a Polish sausage in a year.

Other severe symptoms of excessive undereatersinclude apathy, loss of pride in personal appear-ance, and feelings of inadequacy. The predomin-ant mood of the food-deprived person is gloomand depression.

Putting it all together, the overuse or underuse offood can potentially do as much damage to yourcareer as alcohol or drug abuse. Many obesepeople believe that they are victims of job dis-crimination. Kurt, a 250-pound computer servicetechnician (who is 5¢ 10¢¢ tall), explains why hethinks he was the victim of job discrimination:

"I'm so angry, I plan to take my case to the statehuman rights commission. I've done a top jobmaking repairs at customer sites. And I've beendoing it for six years. By now I should be a super-visor, or at least promoted to a senior servicetechnician. I even think my raises have beenlousy.

"When I joined the company I weighed about 200pounds. That was 100 pounds lower than my topweight. The company never told me there wereany weight restrictions for the job. After twoyears with the company, I experienced some per-sonal problems. I got into debt and my wife leftme. So I started to eat more than I should. My jobalso creates a lot of pressure to eat more than Ishould. As I travel from customer site to site, it'seasy to stop off for a donut or a hamburger andfrench fries.

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''My supervisor began mentioning that I was get-ting a little heavy. He told me that I wasn't pro-jecting the right image to customers. I told himthat our customers didn't care about images. Allthey wanted was to have their equipment up andrunning. My boss would start giving me littledigs, like calling me "the donut king." My co-workers started doing the same thing. Whatbothered me was that these barbs were takingaway from my professionalism. I was singled outfor being some type of character. It prevented mefrom being seen as the dedicated worker I trulyam.

"When I asked about being promoted to supervi-sor when a vacancy occurred, my boss startedhemming and hawing. He told me that my imagewasn't too great, that the company was worriedabout my health. When I tried to pin him downabout my image, my boss said that a couple ofcustomers had told him they were surprised to seesuch a heavy technician."

Kurt has a right to be angry. He probably is thevictim of job discrimination. He could sue thecompany for job discrimination. But all the time,energy, and money spent in that direction wouldbe much better invested in dealing with the realproblem sabotaging his career. Until Kurt over-comes his food abuse, he will continue to haveimage problems on the job.

A crash diet-and-exercise program will give Kurtonly a temporary change in body weight. Ap-proximately 80 percent of the people who lose asubstantial amount of weight gain it back withinone year. What Kurt and others with eating dis-orders must do is to make lifelong changes intheir eating and exercise habits.

The results of numerous studies and the adviceof countless experts point to the same inescap-able conclusion: Overweight people can main-tain a lower body weight only by eating healthierfoods and by burning more calories. Avoidingovereating is also important, but not as importantas eating the right food. People who are biologic-ally predisposed toward heaviness have to workextra hard at losing weight. Just eating normallyleads them to be heavy.

Every literate person knows that a healthier dietand less food intake, accompanied by more exer-cise, is necessary for sustained weight reduction.The reason some overweight people do not usethis information is that they have severe emo-tional conflicts about body weight. Others cannotcontrol their weight for the same reason that theyfail to control other forms of self-

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defeating behavior: They are not sufficientlycommitted to achieving their goals to developthe productive habits that would replace thecounterproductive ones.

Developing constructive eating and exercisehabits is often facilitated by getting the right typeof professional help. The right type of help forsome is a health practitioner specializing in fooddisorders. For others it might be a weight-lossclinic.

Compulsive Gambling

Gambling has become easier and more wide-spread with the computerization of betting par-lors, the increase in government-run lotteries,and the building of ever more gambling resorts.The temptation to play feeds the potential careerself-sabotage of the estimated 23 percent of thepopulation who are compulsive gamblers. Ac-cording to an article in Psychology Today, nearlyall these people seek the sense of power and con-trol that "the action" affords. The action and the"high" it affords become even more importantthan the potential winnings. The addiction togambling is strengthened by the fact that manygamblers are striving to fill the void created bychildhood feelings of rejection and isolation. 8To the person who felt rejected and isolated as achild, something is always missing in life. Manyof these people turn to gambling as the "missingsomething" to fill that void.

Compulsive gamblers pass through a predictablethree-stage development of the problem. First isthe winning phase, which pulls the person in bythe thrill of the action. Second is the losing stagein which the gambler tries to compensate forlosses by betting more and more. Gamblers arechasing the Big Score, which will wipe out pre-vious losses. Third is the desperation stage, whenthe gambler becomes irrational and commits im-prudent acts to obtain betting money.9

On the job, the compulsive gambler is usually ir-ritable, nervous, and easily distracted. He or shegambles on company time, perhaps even organ-izing a sports betting pool. Severe financial prob-lems also surface that require work time to man-age. All these forces combine to produce shoddyjob performance.

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Gordon, now a member of Gamblers Anonym-ous, explains how gambling affected his career:

"I'm not currently gambling, even though I don'tthink I'm fully cured. My current job title is sys-tems analyst. It suits me fine. It gives me a chanceto be creative, to concentrate on something thatmakes a definite contribution to the company.

"An important feature of this job is that it doesn'tgive me too much freedom to place bets duringthe day. I share a small work area with anothersystems analyst. It would be very embarrassingfor me to pick up our phone and place a bet.

"Being an analyst, I work under tight deadlines toaccomplish a project, and it really helps. Before, Iwas a manager of a management information sys-tems group. It gave me too much freedom tomake phone calls or visit gambling parlors duringthe day. I had a good team of people working forme who really didn't need much regular help fromme.

"Being a gambling addict was worse than havingtwo mistresses in addition to a wife and two chil-dren. Of course, there were the money problems.When I was winning, finances were no problem.But when I was losing, I became frantic. It waspretty hard to concentrate on a management prob-lem like a budget review when I was on the brinkof bankruptcy.

"I remember attending a management meetingwhen I had a thousand dollars on a race that wasbeing run at the very same moment. Somebodynudged me and asked me if I was still with thegroup. I told them I had a toothache and hadtrouble concentrating.

"The home problems that stemmed from mygambling created more of an interference with mywork than the actual betting did. My wife wouldbe on the phone with me at ten in the morning,pleading with me to stop gambling or to seekhelp. Once I hit our four-year old when he inter-rupted me. At the moment I was figuring outwhere I could raise some quick cash to get into apoker game coming up that weekend. Realizingwhat I was doing to my family made it difficultfor me to concentrate on my work for a week.

"When I heard about some of the nicknames co-workers had given me, I knew my days werenumbered. I was in the restoom one day when Ioverhead two programmers talking about me.They referred to me as 'Gambling Gordie' and'Gordie the Greek.' By the time I joined GamblersAnonymous, my employer had asked me toresign."

Losing his job jolted Gordon into understandingthe gravity of his compulsive gambling. He thenjoined Gamblers Anony-

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mous, which functions as a support group to helpcompulsive gamblers cope with their addiction.Like other people engaged in career self-sabot-age, Gordon did not stop early enough to reflecton the consequences of his counterproductive ac-tions.

Gamblers are often searching for thrills and ex-citement to help them overcome depression andboredom. Gordon might have found a more con-structive arena for thrill seeking. Perhaps devel-oping new computer games or security codes forcomputers could have satisfied his craving forexcitement and thrills. In the process he wouldhave been less bored and depressed. A big prob-lem, however, is that a constant supply of thrillsis needed to do the job.

Another approach to overcoming gambling is toseek professional help. One technique of psycho-therapy adapted for gamblers is referred to asimaginal desensitization. Gamblers are given abrief, individual five-minute relaxation trainingperiod. They are then shown how to imaginethemselves being stimulated to gamble, ap-proaching a gambling situation, but not actuallygambling, and then leaving the scene. Becausethe patients learn to relax, some of the tensionassociated with not gambling is diminished. 10Gamblers can sometimes use this visualizationtechnique on their own, without outside help. Ifgambling is getting out of control for you, giveimaginal desensitization a try.

Compulsive Spending

Compulsive spending is recognized as anotheraddiction that is as serious as compulsivegambling. Compulsive spenders can do as muchdamage to their careers as other addicts. The fin-ancial stress they face diminishes their judgmentand concentration. As the compulsive spendergoes more heavily into debt, family problemsmount and he or she becomes distracted fromwork.

People put themselves into heavy debt for manyreasons. A major factor driving indebtednessalso causes addictions. The person is depressedand hopes that buying things will bring happi-ness. Some people are insecure and hope thatpurchasing gifts for others will gain them accept-ance and friendship. Sometimes when a coupleseparates, one spouse will binge on credit

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spending as a form of revenge against the otherspouse. Credit is sometimes overused becausepeople believe that presents to themselves willmake up for hurts experienced, such as the endof a relationship. Some people are low in self-es-teem and think that the accumulation of posses-sions will make them feel better about them-selves. Finally, poor impulse control leads somepeople to make unplanned purchases.

A complicating factor in compulsive spending isthat the spender's partner often encourages theaddiction. As a result, the careers of both part-ners may be damaged by the counterproductivespending habit.

Todd, a successful car salesman, was married toLisa, a records supervisor with the state police.Todd and Lisa purchased their first home whenthey were both in their twenties. After making thepurchase, cash flow became a problem. So Toddand Lisa began using a credit card for minor pur-chases. As credit-card application forms arrivedin their mailbox, the couple took advantage of theborrowing opportunity.

Todd and Lisa decided that the house needed ma-jor repairs, and they began making them with bor-rowed money. Soon they were borrowing themaximum on all their credit cards. Trouble startedwhen they were making minimum monthly pay-ments on their charges. Around that time Toddshifted jobs because his income had plunged as aresult of a lull in automobile sales. He was forcedto take a temporary cut in pay while he trained asa security systems sales representative.

Todd and Lisa continued to struggle with creditcard and mortgage payments on the house and anew car. Todd no longer had access to a dealercar, so he purchased a used truck with a $3,500advance from a credit card. The couple continuedto make minimum payments on their loans. So-metimes they would make a payment with moneyborrowed from another card.

The couple soon recognized that they were in ser-ious trouble. As creditors hounded them, Todd be-came more frantic to earn sales commissions.Sales prospects called the office complainingabout Todd's high-pressure tactics. Several cus-tomers who had signed contracts quickly canceledthem, claiming that Todd had not been truthfulabout the terms of the deal. The company putTodd on probation. Lisa became so worried abouttheir deteriorating finances that she mismanagedsome important record systems.

As their financial turmoil increased, Lisa dis-covered that she was pregnant. Rather than dowhat they could to get out of debt to prepare for

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the new baby's expenses, Todd and Lisa boughtelaborate baby furnishings and remodeled a roomon credit.

Troubles continued to mount. A loan collectionagency threatened to repossess their car, and thetelephone company disconnected their service.Todd was too preoccupied to used a planned,well-reasoned approach to sales. After failing tomake his quota for three consecutive months, hewas dismissed. He found new employment as amanagement trainee in a fastfood restaurant. Lisawas threatened with demotion, and took a mater-nity leave of absence.

With Lisa not working, and the considerable ex-penses of raising an infant daughter, the couplestruggled financially. They recognized the finan-cial hole they had dug for themselves, and nowrefuse to borrow except for financial emergencies.They are fighting bankruptcy and continue to bepursued by creditors. With debts totaling $26,500,Todd and Lisa have entered budget counseling.Even with Lisa returning to work shortly, thecouple has calculated that it will take them elevenyears to become debt-free. Meanwhile, they aretrying to regain their peace of mind, one minim-um payment at a time. 11

Todd and Lisa have taken a constructive step to-ward ovecoming their spending addiction by go-ing through budget counseling. Full-fledgedcounseling of this type helps people deal with theunderlying problem, such as depression or a hun-ger for affection, that breeds compulsive spend-ing. To prevent a recurrence of unwieldy debt,the spending addict is also given suggestions formanaging credit wisely. Most others can also be-nefit from such suggestions:

1. Prepare a monthly budget to determine howmuch debt (if any) you can afford to assume.

2. As a general rule, limit your total borrowing to1520 percent of your monthly take-home pay,not including a house mortgage payment.

3. Instead of carrying many credit cards, stick toone major credit card, and your favorite depart-ment store's charge card.

4. Before accepting any new extension of credit,review your budget to see if you can handle iteasily.

5. If you have substantial equity accumulated inyour home, consider a home equity loan for fin-ancing a major pur-

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chase such as an automobile or educational ex-penses. The interest on a home equity loan isfully tax deductible.

6. Make monthly payments on your debts thatare large enough to reduce the principal on yourcredit cards and other loans. Otherwise you maybe paying almost all interest and making littleprogress toward paying off the loan.

7. Even as you are paying off debts, set asidesome savings each month. Attempt to increaseyour savings by at least $25 per month.

8. If you are unable to pay your bills, talk to yourcreditors immediately. Explain your situation andlet them know that you intend to meet your debtobligations. Agree to a payment schedule youcan meet. Never ignore bills.

9. Choose bankruptcy only as a last desperateoption. A bankruptcy filing will remain on yourcredit record for seven to ten years after filing.Future employers may be leery of hiring a personwho was such a poor money manager. Of greatersignificance, bankruptcy may deal a substantialblow to your self-esteem.

The last point is very significant. Low self-es-teem perpetuates addictions and just about anyother behavior or attitudes that contribute to ca-reer self-sabotage.

Compulsive Sex

Some people are obsessed with sex to the pointthat it sabotages their career. Preoccupation withsex is more of an obsession or compulsion than atrue addiction. Unlike an addiction, a layoff fromsexual activity does not create physical symp-toms of withdrawal. Nevertheless, a sexual ob-session can lead a person to risk any kind of con-sequence in pursuit of sexual satisfaction.

An obsession with sex has several potential dam-aging consequences to one's career. As with ad-dictions and other compulsions, it can diverttime and energy away from work. An insuranceunderwriter was referred to the company medicaldepartment because of her excessive drowsiness.She explained

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to the company nurse that she was addicted to X-rated films. Because she had three young chil-dren, she had to wait until they were asleep be-fore watching her adult videos. She often did notget to sleep until 3:00 A.M., despite having toget up at 7 o'clock.

A compulsive need for sex is a potentially great-er problem. It can lead to an embarrassing expos-ure, sure to be unwelcome to a conservative em-ployer. After public exposure for unusual or il-legal sexual practices, the person's job may be injeopardy. When such escapades are frequent, theprobability of exposure increases proportion-ately.

Paul, the sales promotion manager at a pharma-ceutical company, was a happily divorced man inhis mid-forties. His two children were in college,he lived alone, and he had a long-term relation-ship with Norma, a woman he cared for deeply.They would spend much of their weekends to-gether, and frequently got together during theweek. The two of them shared an exciting andmutually satisfying sex life.

Paul's expression of his sexuality extended bey-ond his relationship with Norma. He frequentedbars featuring nude dancers, and subscribed tofive different magazines that specialized in photo-graphs of nude women. On occasion Paul hirednude dancers to entertain him at home. When outof town on business trips, Paul would often hireprostitutes through escort services.

On several occasions at trade shows, Paul's com-mitment to the company was questioned becausehe excused himself from dinner meetings. He ex-plained that he was physically not up to a late din-ner. Paul missed one of these dinner meetings notknowing that his boss was an unexpected visitor.What Paul had in mind was to search for a barwith nude dancers.

That night he did find a bar that featured a beauti-ful woman taking a shower in a transparentshower stall set up on stage. The dancer's eroti-cism and sensuality aroused in Paul a disturbingsexual tension. As he walked away from the bartoward his hotel, he was approached by a youngwoman who said "How about a date?" "Sorry,"responded Paul half-heartedly, "but a man canonly get into trouble exchanging money for sex.It's illegal."

"Just this once, honey," said the attractivestranger. "Okay," responded Paul, "how much?"The woman said she would charge $100 for anhour, and Paul said, "It's a deal." In response, thewoman flashed a police badge, and said, "You'reunder arrest for solicitation. Come with me to thepolice station. You have the right to remain. . . .''

Paul was detained overnight in the city jail. Hepleaded guilty in the morning and paid a $200fine. But his punishment didn't end there. He

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missed the morning meeting, and one of the othermanagers at the meeting found Paul's name in thenewspaper. It was included in a listing of mencaught in a sweep.

Paul was asked to resign because the presidentwanted only "people of high moral fiber" on themanagement team. In addition to losing his job,Paul almost lost his relationship with Norma. Shefinally forgave him after he promised that hewould never repeat such a crazy stunt. After sixmonths of trying to find a suitable job, Paul as-sumed that background checks conducted by em-ployers had revealed his arrest. It would thereforebe exceedingly difficult for him to be hired as acompany employee. Paul finally resolved mattersby purchasing the rights to open a submarine-sandwich franchise.

Paul might seek treatment for his compulsive in-terest in sex. He needs to contain his obsessivesexual interest at least to the degree that it nolonger interferes with his career. As a self-em-ployed business operator he will have to be onguard not to divert too much of his attentionaway from the store.

Paul was zapped badly for attempting to hire theservices of a prostitute. It might therefore be na-ively assumed that he will not be a repeat offend-er. Perhaps not. A word to the wise may be suffi-cient, but a word to the obsessed is less effective.Many men arrested for soliciting prostitutes arerepeat offenderseven those whose family,friends, and employers know of their previousarrests. Paul will need to exert considerable self-control to prevent any further career self-sabot-age.

Few readers of this book face career self-sabot-age because of daring sexual activity. But keepin mind that we all have inner urges that couldget us into trouble if not channeled into a safeoutlet.

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10Bizarre and Scandalous Actions

Many self-sabotaging actions erode a person'scareer; step by step, little by little, people digthemselves into a deeper and deeper career hole.Other people bludgeon their careers into ashambles with one sudden bizarre or scandalousact. An example would be the executive who ap-pears drunk at an important command perform-ance. Still others engage in a series of bizarreand scandalous actions over a period of timeuntilcaught. Embezzlers, for example, typically con-tinue to siphon off company funds until dis-covered and indicted.

Bizarre and scandalous behavior on the job iswell worth examining. Almost anyone is capableof wrecking in a single blow, or a short series ofblows, a career that has taken years to build. Theexperience has happened to bank presidents whohave raided depositor funds as well as to politi-cians who have paid to have sex with teenagers.Awareness of the mistakes of others is an import-ant preventive strategy.

Violent Temper Tantrums

An occasional mild temper tantrum may evenboost your career. It shows that you are humanand that you conduct your work with intensityand involvement. At the extremes, however, oneviolent temper tantrum in a business setting cansend your career into a tailspin. Temper tantrumsin business are taboo. Such

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outbursts are an extreme deviation from the cul-tural norm of gentility and politeness amongmanagers and professionals. Professional tennisplayers can rant, rave, scream, and throw theirrackets during a tournament. As a punishmentthey may be fined and banned from a future tour-nament or two. But a few tantrums will not ruintheir careers because the contemporary normsgoverning the sport do not strongly oppose suchbehavior. In business, the situation is different.

January is performance appraisal time in the re-search laboratory of an East Coast energy com-pany. Even when ample money is available in thebudget for raises, it is a tense and difficult timefor laboratory managers. When money for raisesis limited, and promotional opportunities arescarce, managers experience additional stress. Inrecent years, budgets for most departments anddivisions have been cut.

Double-digit raises have been replaced by single-digit ones, averaging 45 percent. Promotional op-portunities, even for superior performers, havealso decreased. The salary and promotional con-straints have heightened competition and resent-ment among many of the scientific personnel.General dissatisfaction and low motivation havebeen widespread among support workers.

Bruce has been a solid-fuel research technician atthe company for eighteen years. He has receivedgenerous raises, and a few promotions, in yearspast. For example, he received a 10 percent in-crease during six of those years, and was pro-moted to senior research technician five yearsago. But because Bruce had performed the samejob in his group for most of his career he had drif-ted into a pattern of not working very hard orshowing much innovation.

Bruce had not received an above-average raisesince his promotion to senior research technician.He believed that he was deserving of a substantialincrease this time around. Weeks before his per-formance appraisal, Bruce began complaining tohis co-workers that he was overdue for a sizableincrease.

Laboratory employees believed that supervisorsknew before meeting with them what generallevel evaluation they would give. However, theyalso believed that some room for negotiation exis-ted. Bruce went to the scheduled meeting with hissupervisor with the hope of convincing her of hisoutstanding performance. If convinced, she wouldthen be obliged to give him a high evaluation.

When he walked into his boss's office, Bruce wasready to spring into debate if he did not hearwords of praise. When she uttered the words,"Your performance has been somewhat disap-pointing this last period,"

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Bruce lost emotional control. He shouted a few angry words about beingunderappreciated. Feeling overwhelmed by anger, he overturned chairs,then grabbed a personal computer and threw it against the wall. Bruceshouted "Go to Hell" as he stormed out the door. His blast of fury lastedabout fifteen seconds.

Bruce's violence had immediate consequences. He was given a one-yearsuspension from work. He was instructed to attend company-paid counsel-ing during his absence as a precondition for his returning to work. Brucesought legal advice as to the prospects of having his suspension removed.Bruce's lawyer advised him that he had been suspended for just cause. 1

In fifteen seconds of fury, Bruce sabotaged his modest career. If hechooses to return to the company, he must find interim employment.Should he return, he may never be forgiven for his burst of fury.Bruce's outburst was an unfortunate consequence of pent-up anger thathad been accumulating for a long time. He made a few indirect at-tempts at discussing his feelings with co-workers, but he would havebeen better off discussing his feelings with a company counselor or hisboss. Letting out angry feelings a little bit at a time often helps preventa sudden, uncontrollable outburst.

If Bruce had attempted to calm down just before meeting with hisboss, he might not have felt so wiresprung when he entered the per-formance appraisal meeting. But, as it was, he had talked himself intoa frenzy.

What Bruce should do now is engage in a little old-fashioned fencemending, and write a note on personal stationery, offering his deepestapologies for his tantrum. He might ask to help pay for the smashedcomputer monitor. Most important, Bruce should promise to continuewith counseling to learn how he can develop better emotional control.

How do you know if you have a problem with emotional control, andshould therefore learn how to calm down in key situations? If three ormore of the following statements apply to you, you may be subject tooutrages on the job:

__ I often swear and curse at team members or support workers.

__ I start grinding my teeth when somebody disagrees with me.

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__ I often get into shouting matches with strangers in such situationsas waiting in line for refreshments.

__ I often blast my horn at people ahead of me who do not proceed im-mediately when the traffic light changes to green.

__ I have struck my children or other family members on more thanone occasion.

Expropriation of Company Resources

Greed, gluttony, and avarice have been described in Chapter 6 as a po-tential form of executive self-sabotage. The same unethical behavior isalso a bizarre and scandalous way of defeating one's own purposes.Expropriation takes many forms, from the trivial to the consequential.Trivial expropriation occurs every day as employees reproduce menusand league schedules on company photocopying machines. When ex-propriation proceeds on a grand scale, it becomes a form of bizarre andscandalous behavior. Troy, a vice-president of marketing, expropriatedcompany resources on a grand scale to enhance his life-style.

Troy began employment with his company twenty years ago as a sales train-ee. He worked his way up the ranks to brand manager in ten years. Fiveyears later, he was promoted to vice-president of marketing. One of his spe-cial assignments was to design and implement sales promotions to enticewholesalers and end-consumers into purchasing more of the company'sproducts.

Troy's creativity and energy helped him design winning sales promotions.His salary and bonuses increased handsomely. As Troy began to achievehigh earnings, he tasted personal luxuries. The more he tasted, the more hewanted. To boost his share of luxuries, Troy developed what he thought wasan airtight scam involving wholesaler incentives.

In order to reach his sales targets, Troy had to offer incentives to whole-salers to buy his products. Troy started modestly, offering season tickets tothe local university's football games. Then came offerings of fax machinesand cellular telephones. Each succeeding year he offered larger and largerincentives. In the end he offered large-screen televisions, trips to the Carib-bean, and 200 hours of limousine service. The company went along withthese expensive incentives because they were achieving results.

Troy dutifully awarded the incentives to the wholesalers who met their

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quotas. In addition, he set aside a number of in-centive packages for himself. Troy got away withhis scam because he stayed within budget for in-centives. Also, the company lacked internal con-trol procedures designed to prevent this type ofaction. Troy's superiors were so delighted with hissales successes that they did not even suspect thatsome of the wholesaler incentives were being ex-propriated.

A year and a half passed by, and Troy and hisfamily were still enjoying the unauthorized in-centives. He saw no reason why his scam wouldnot last indefinitely. One day another companyvice-president and Troy played golf. Over a drinkat the clubhouse, Troy casually mentioned that heand his wife would be going on an "incentivecruise" next month to Saint Martin. The othervice-president said, "What do you mean? Ithought the incentive cruises were for customers,not for company personnel."

Troy attempted to cover by saying, "My mistake.I just got a little confused. I mean that my wifeand I are taking the same exotic trip that our win-ning wholesalers take."

"Oh, I see," said the other vice-president. But hedidn't see. Instead, he requested that an internalauditor investigate the incentive program withspecial attention paid to how the incentives weredistributed. Within two weeks Troy was accusedof fraud and asked to resign. While demandingTroy's resignation, the president told him that hehad just blown a great career opportunity: "Threedays before I learned of these allegations, I hadrecommended to the board that you be promotedto senior vice-president." 2

Troy was ordinarily a rational, intelligent person.His personal assets included drive, ambition, cre-ativity, and good interpersonal skills. He was do-ing fine without committing fraud. He sabotagedhis career for a few luxury vacations, a large-screen TV, and limousine rides. On the basis ofhis superior job performance, he could soon haveafforded to puchase all these things with his ownmoney. If he had wanted extra money so badly,he might have used his creativity and businessexperience to find an honest way of earning it.

Troy got high on his own hormones. The excite-ment of big earnings stirred up his emotions. Hisjudgment became distorted, and any dishonesttendencies lurking in the back of his mind sur-faced. As with virtually all self-saboteurs, Troyneeded to shake himself into reality. He mighthave said to himself: "Things are going greatnow. But hold on, many other mature peoplehave blown things when they were going well. Ismy little scam really worth the risk? What's thedownside risk of expropriating

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incentives that are intended for our wholesalers?Biting the hand that feeds me is not really sens-ible."

Troy will know better next time, but next timemay be a long time coming. His relationshipswith his wife and children are now severelystrained, although his wife certainly encouragedhis errant behavior. His job search will be pain-ful, since there is little hope that he can regainhis former stature in the short run. If Troy doesrebound, he will at least have learned to confronthis own thinking should he entertain any furtherself-sabotaging thoughts.

Many of us face the temptation from time to timeto put our hands in the cookie jar. At the point ofhighest temptation, it becomes necessary to askoneself, "Is the potential gain worth sabotagingmy career?

Drunkenness During a Command Performance

"How can anybody be crazy enough to dosomething like that?" is the reaction often heardwhen somebody shows up for work intoxicated.Such behavior is even more perplexing when thedrunk person occupies a key position and showsincredibly poor timing. One wonders if the per-son who is drunk at a command performance issecretly hoping for a way out of holding a re-sponsible position.

At age 49, Arthur was the CEO of a public rela-tions firm in Leeds, England. Along with an at-tractive salary and bonus, Arthur had a generousexpense account. He drove a Jaguar sedan andhad a sumptuous home in York. Arthur's familywas happy, and felt financially secure until his ca-reer downfall. Much of Arthur's success in attract-ing clients to his firm could be traced to contactshe had made as a major in the Royal Scots Dra-goons.

The holding company that owned Arthur's firmemphasized earnings competition among itsmember companies. After a year as CEO, Arthurbegan to experience considerable stress as a resultof the rivalries among the several companies inhis business group. In an attempt to cope with hisproblems, he began to drink earlier and earlier inthe day. It appeared to other managers in the com-pany that on several occasions Arthur was intox-icated at client meetings, but because drinkingwith clients was so prevalent not much was saidabout Arthur's behavior.

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As time passed, Arthur was noticeably intoxic-ated at several other client meetings. One day thechairman of the board spoke with Arthur and toldhim he would not tolerate his being inebriated atbusiness meetings with clients. Several monthslater, Arthur's parent company arranged an elab-orate American tour for the company's four majorinternational clients. Representatives from theBritish and American affiliates of the group of ad-vertising companies would meet in New YorkCity to conduct business and to be entertained.Based on Arthur's many personal contacts, andhis keen ability to drum up new business, Arthurand three of his staff members were sent to NewYork.

One of the scheduled events was an eveningchartered boat tour of Manhattan Island. Formaldress was required, the cuisine was international,and the champagne flowed. Arthur consumedglass after glass of champagne. As he veeredfrom right to left and back again, Arthur made in-sulting comments about the brashness of Americ-an executives and the stuffiness of the British. Ar-thur ultimately lapsed into unconsciousness andhad to be carried off the boat at the end of the tourby two of his staff members.

Arthur's vulgar display was reported back toheadquarters long before his return flight landedin Leeds. He was fired immediately, and his repu-tation severely tarnished throughout the public re-lations community in England. After a year Ar-thur was still unemployed, and his savings andother assets were depleted. At that point he founda small public relations firm willing to hire himfor a six-month probation period as an accountdirector. The owners of the firm reasoned that Ar-thur could still get some mileage out of his oldcontacts. 3

Arthur and others like him could prevent suchself-inflicted career damage. He was giving sig-nals that he found the competitive nature of hisbusiness to be overly stressful. For example, hebegan drinking earlier and earlier in the day. Ar-thur needed to decrease the job pressures, not totrash his good reputation. He might have thoughtthrough his actions and come up with a sensibleplan for reducing the source of his distresswithout being self-sabotaging. Career counselingmight have been helpful in this regard. A sens-ible alternative would have been for Arthur tobecome an account representative in his ownfirm. In a professional organization, such as apublic relations firm, it is no disgrace to switchfrom administrative to technical work.

If you feel overwhelmed by job responsibilities,consider lessening your responsibilities beforeyou resort to such counter-productive behaviorsas drinking too much at company functions.

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Hyperactivity in the Office

A fast-paced, energetic, and assertive approachto job responsibilities is an asset to your career. Itis certainly far more impressive than lethargy.But when quickness and energy turn to hyper-activity and mania, your mental stability may becalled into question. Career self-sabotage is oftenthe result. A co-worker describes the hyperactiv-ity of a woman in her office:

Dorothy has been with the company for twentyyears, and has achieved a high level of profes-sional respectability. However, lately, I've begunto worry about her. Dorothy used to come in eachmorning with a wide grin and a cheery hello.Nowadays she comes in tired and haggard. Anycomments she has to make border on being cynic-al.

The way Dorothy has been handling her worklately has aroused my concern. Others in the of-fice are concerned too. Dorothy used to accept as-signments with enthusiasm. Now every time theboss hands her something to do, she lets out asigh. Dorothy seems to have this great sense ofurgency about her. She attacks every job as if sheis hurrying to meet some important deadline. Itdoesn't matter how trivial the job may be. Some-times it appears as if Dorothy has lost control inthe quest to complete her work. Her job isn't en-joyable to her anymore. All she cares about is get-ting it done. She never seems to stick to one job ata time. Dorothy is like a hummingbird going fromflower to flower. Only she goes from job to job atthe same hectic pace.

Dorothy's hurry-up attitude extends beyond thework day. I get a ride home from her sometimes.You should see her on the road. She is alwaysspeeding to beat yellow lights. She honks herhorn constantly and changes from lane to lane toget ahead of the rest of the traffic. It's scary.

My husband and I are outdoor lovers, just likeDorothy and her husband, Ralph. So we often gettogether on weekends for biking trips or picnics.Yet we haven't done it in a long time. Most of thetime Dorothy is at work on weekends. If she is athome, she is too wound up to relax. Ralph saysthat Dorothy is so obsessed with her work latelythat she feels time spent at home is a waste. He isworried about Dorothy, and so am I.

I have heard that there will soon be an openingfor a top-level position in our department. Jack,one of the most senior people, is going to retire.Dorothy has the experience needed for the job.She is well-qualified to take the job since sheknows our client requirements so well. However,I'm sure that Dave, our boss, is worried.

Even though Dorothy is the heir apparent toJack's job, her image in

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the department has been damaged by her hurry-up-itis. Dave must be concerned that Dorothy isout of control in her present job. She doesn't ap-pear as if she would be able to handle the addedresponsibilities and pressures of the new job. It'ssuch a shame. Dorothy doesn't know it, but she isbuilding a large roadblock in her career path byher rushing through everything. 4

Dorothy can be prevented from committing fur-ther career self-sabotage. One approach wouldbe for her worried co-workers to express theirconcern to Dorothy, individually or at a small-group luncheon. The feedback would be usefulto Dorothy in helping her to decide whether toseek professional help. A physician would prob-ably prescribe sedatives for her. Dorothy mightthen be able to calm down enough to figure outwhat panicky feelings were propelling her intohyperactivity.

But Dorothy shouldn't have to wait for others toconfront her about her bizarre behavior beforetaking corrective action. Despite her cloudedthinking, she should still be perceptive enough togauge people's reactions to her. Just looking atthe expressions on the faces of co-workersshould give Dorothy a clue that she is worryingthem. She could then ask herself questions aboutwhat she is doing that is puzzling others, or shecould solicit feedback from them. BecauseDorothy has not yet done anything scandalousnor made major mistakes in handling assign-ments, her reputation is salvageable if she actssoon.

If you are working at a dizzying, manic-styleclip, pause a moment from your frenzy. Askyourself if you are being truly productive, orsimply defeating your own best interests.

Maintaining a Swashbuckling, Reckless Life-Style

Employers today are much more tolerant of theafter-hours behavior of managers and profession-als than they were in the past. In earlier decades,a manager who rode a motorcycle to work orlived in a loft would have been seen as fittingpoorly with the company culture. Today, theseaspects of one's personal life-style are less likelyto attract unfavorable attention. Such personal

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choices may even go unnoticed. Yet there areouter limits to the life-style that will be toleratedby upper management. A swashbuckling, reck-less personal life can lead the higher-ups to ques-tion one's judgment.

Eduardo was an excellent student at PennsylvaniaState University. He majored in business adminis-tration and was the president of a student gov-ernance organization. With a wealthy familybacking him, Eduardo drove a Corvette and tooklavish vacations during school breaks. Aftergraduating from Penn State, Eduardo went on toreceive a master's degree in international manage-ment at the Thunderbird School at the Universityof Arizona. He was heavily recruited by severalmajor business corporations.

Eduardo accepted an attractive offer from a mul-tinational company based in the United States thatproduced manufacturing control systems. Hisgoal was some day to become the vice-prersidentof international marketing. As part of his manage-ment training program, Eduardo was given as-signments in general accounting, auditing, credit,and sales. He was immediately placed on thecompany's fast track, reserved for new managerialrecruits of exceptional promise.

After a three-year stint in company headquarters,Eduardo was promoted to be the marketing man-ager of the company's branch in Mexico City.During this assignment, Eduardo remained singleand pursued the life-style of an affluent bachelor.After six months in Mexico City, reports began totrickle back to headquarters that Eduardo washaving problems.

Eduardo's job performance was erratic, particu-larly with respect to getting field reports com-pleted on time. He was also getting into disputeswith local management about sales strategies.Eduardo's position was that the Mexico Citybranch relied too much on existing customers toincrease business. He believed that new custom-ers must be pursued more aggressively.

Eduardo entertained prospective customers lav-ishly, including taking them to bullfights. He es-pecially enjoyed the bullfights because he was intraining to become an amateur matador. Localmanagement was also concerned that Eduardowas using his expense account to entertain toomany women who could not influence sales.

Around 1:00 A.M. on a Tuesday, Eduardo drove acompany car into a tree on the way back from anightclub. He escaped with facial cuts and aseverely sprained wrist, but his companion waskilled. Police reports suggested that Eduardo wasdriving beyond a safe speed and, though notdrunk, that he had been drinking heavily.Headquarters responded by recalling Eduardo tothe United States and reassigning him to a market

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research analyst position. Eduardo feels remorseabout the accident, his family is angry at him, andhe wonders how he will regain his career thrust. 5

Eduardo did not deliberately get involved in afatal automobile accident, thus sabotaging his ca-reer. But neither did he attempt to curb the thrillseeking that propelled him into recklessness,such as learning to fight bulls and lavishly enter-taining people who were only quasi-legitimatebusiness prospects. His confrontations with hissuperiors about their business judgment werealso part of his recklessness. Eduardo's approachled his superiors to condemn his brashness ratherthan praise his innovative thinking.

Eduardo could have prevented his career setbackby sizing up his situation in Mexico City andasking himself: ''Which personal characteristicsof mine can possibly cause me to blow this greatopportunity?" A question of this nature wouldmost likely have helped him to recognize the po-tential pitfalls of his bravado and recklessness.However low your predisposition toward careerself-sabotage may be, it always helps to askyourself what could possibly go wrong. Laying apotential problem out in clear view is the firststep in preventing self-sabotage.

The Indiscreetly Conducted Office Romance

The office has now surpassed introductions byfriends and singles bars as the most popular wayof finding a date or mate. A contributing factor isthat men and women now often work with eachother on an equal level. Although finding ro-mantic partners on the job is common, indiscre-tion and brazenness can still be self-sabotaging.

Robbie was in his late forties, and married withtwo children. He had enjoyed a successful careerin the trucking industry, and had been steadilypromoted by his long-term employer. Robbie wasthen recruited as an executive vice-president of amedium-size trucking concern. The president ofthe company was a former truck driver who hadbuilt the business over twenty years into a com-pany with gross sales of $10 million annually. Heknew the trucking business quite well but was apoor administrator. Robbie's

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mission was to establish better administrativecontrols, revitalize the sales and marketing organ-ization, and improve rapport with the drivers.

After a year with his new employer, Robbie hadreorganized business operations and recruitedthree talented new managers. He had accessednew markets by acquiring additional InterstateCommerce Commission (ICC) operating author-ity. The drivers respected Robbie as a doer and aperson on whom they could rely. Robbie's accom-plishments exceeded expectations, and he becamerecognized as someone who provided more lead-ership to the company than did the president.

Robbie had for many years been "bi-curious."From time to time he would watch adult moviesof men engaged in sex with other men or attendgay bars. His preference was for masculine-ap-pearing men, which made the trucking environ-ment particularly pleasing. He began to extenddinner and hot-tub invitations to young male em-ployees.

Rumors quickly spread of Robbie's dating offers.A manager who was leaving the company to takeanother position then told the president that heand Robbie had had sexual relations at his apart-ment. He also claimed that the two had engagedin sex several times in a company truck at lunch-time. Shocked, the president repeated the tale tohis assistant. Word of the affair then became pub-lic knowledge. Robbie quickly lost the respect ofcompany employees, and his leadership suffered.To prevent a crisis in leadership, the president re-quested that Robbie resign immediately. 6

Admittedly, Robbie's office romance is morebizarre than most. Few people would be so indis-creet as to conduct a romance with a same-sexperson on company premises. Furthermore, Rob-bie took great risks in requesting dates of menwhose sexual orientation he did not know. Thosewho would conduct more traditional office ro-mances can also profit from the followingguidelines:

1. Act very professional with each other. Avoidwalking around holding hands or kissing, touch-ing each other, sending billets-doux through theoffice mail, or making frequent telephone calls toeach other.

2. Maintain a high level of productivity so thatothers cannot fault your romance for loweringyour productivity.

3. Don't arrive or leave with your lover, and don'tdiscuss your glorious weekend trysts with co-workers.

4. Don't sit next to each other at staff meetings orplay footsie under the table.

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5. Be especially discreet if you are on a businesstrip together. If there are other company mem-bers present, take separate rooms, perhaps evenon different floors or in different hotels.

6. Have lunch together only occasionally. Lunchwith other co-workers more frequently than youdo with each other.

7. Consider keeping your relationship secret un-less it's a committed relationship. It's usually notworth being the subject of office gossip for ashort-term relationship.

8. Remember that a great relationship is worthmore than one mediocre job. If the two of youare from the same department, one of you shouldconsider requesting a transfer to another depart-ment or location.

9. Remember that a mediocre relationship isworth less than one great job. Don't proceed bey-ond the first date if you are convinced that the re-lationship will not last more than three weeks.Why do something that could be self-sabotagingfor a brief surge of excitement, followed by asense of embarrassment and defeat? 7

Blatant Sexual Harassment

Sexual harassment takes many forms in theworkplace. According to an article in PersonnelAdministrator, the three most blatant are sexualassault, sexual propositions involving threats ofadverse job-related consequences, and sexualpropositions involving a promise of positive con-sequences.8 All three of these can inflict emo-tional wounds on the harassed and destroy thecareer of the harasser. Despite these overwhelm-ing reasons for not committing blatant sexualharassment, almost every company has someemployees who harass others. Even more repre-hensible than those who harass their co-workersare those professionals who sexually harass thepeople they are supposed to be helping, such aspatients, clients, or students.

Steve is a dentist with a general practice in adowntown office. At age 45 he divorced his wifeof eighteen years. A contributing factor to his di-vorce

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was Steve's desire to lead a sexually diverse life.He imagined that by being single, healthy, and re-latively prosperous, he would attract large num-bers of young women. Steve was surprised that hemet relatively few young women interested inspending time with him socially. Most of the wo-men who were willing to date Steve were approx-imately the age of his former wife.

Frustrated and disappointed, Steve fantasizedmore and more about having sexual contact withyoung women. One day he decided to give freerein to his sexual fantasy of having physical con-tact with some of his younger patients. At first hehugged briefly two different patients. Because hemet with no resistance other than a lack of re-sponsiveness to his hug, Steve decided to pro-gress further. In a period of ten days he kissed andfondled three of his women patients. One left hisoffice indignantly, while the other two told him tostop immediately.

Steve realized that he had behaved offensively, sohe decided to stop making advances toward hispatients. He also hoped that the women would letthe incidents drop. Steve was mistaken. Withinone week he heard from a lawyer hired by one ofthe patients he had molested. Two days later hewas informed by the county dental associationthat one of the other women he had harassed hadfiled a complaint.

The story of the sexual harassment charges leakedto the press. Steve received a formal censure fromthe county dental association, and reached a reas-onable financial settlement with the patient whoattempted to sue him. The third woman Steve har-assed has not filed a complaint. But Steve's dentalpractice has declined so precipitously that he isnow thinking of abandoning his practice.

Steve's acts of sexual harassment have been self-sabotaging even if they have not completely des-troyed his career. If Steve never again makes asexual advance toward any of his patients, hemay be able to regain his reputation and rebuildhis practice. However, he will have to drasticallyreduce his living costs until his practice is re-built. Steve let his sexual fantasies cloud his pro-fessional judgment to the point where he disreg-arded the rights of his patients.

Sexual fantasies are fineso long as they remainfantasies. But Steve and the rest of us have tokeep in mind that allowing a sexual fantasy totake over our rational thinking, or to act it out re-gardless of how inappropriate the circumstances,can ruin our reputations and careers.

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Physical Violence

Remember the research technician who becameso enraged over his performance appraisal thathe wrecked company property? His temper tan-trum badly damaged his career. An even surerroute to career self-sabotage is for an employeeto do physical violence to another employee.Company policies and labor agreements betweenthe company and the union usually list physicalviolence as grounds for immediate discharge orsuspension. Nevertheless, a physical outburst bya production worker against a co-worker is muchmore likely to be glossed over than one by amanager or professional.

Trudy, a company cafeteria manager, faced heavyjob and family pressures. As a single parent oftwo preschoolers, she had to get her youngsters tothe child-care center before going to work. Trudycould not afford the medical-care option that al-lows parents to take sick children to the child-carecenter. When one or both of Trudy's children weresick, she therefore had to scramble to find abackup person to take care of them.

Trudy's major on-the-job pressure came fromhaving to get meals prepared in a short period oftime. The challenge was heightened because shehad to rely on part-time workers who had a highrate of absenteeism and tardiness. Despite Trudy'smany pleas for more full-time help, the companychose to economize on cafeteria staffing.

In January a group of 100 stockholders wereslated to visit the company, all of whom wouldeat in the cafeteria. Trudy's boss agreed to author-ize the hiring of six temporary workers for twodays to help handle the overload. Trudy knew thatproviding good service for everybody would bedifficult, but she would do her best. Two days be-fore the visitors were due, Trudy could feel heradrenalin pumping. A snowstorm hit the area theday before stockholders' day. Trudy worked herway through traffic to the day-care center, and ar-rived at work barely on time. Three of the sixtemporary workers called in to say that theycouldn't get through to work.

Trudy made special arrangements to stay late thatnight to get as much work done for the next dayas possible. The storm subsided that evening, andthe roads were in good shape by the morning. Allfood had to be ready by 10:45 A.M. to accom-modate the visitors and company employees whowould first arrive for lunch at 11:00. As Trudywalked through the kitchen, one of the cafeteriaemployees put a ladle into the clam chowder. Hesipped from the ladle, then suddenly spit it backinto the pot, exclaiming, "How could you servethisto anybody?"

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Trudy doesn't have a clear remembrance of whathappened next. One of the cafeteria workers saidthat she grabbed the employee by his shirt collarand began punching his face. After about fivepunches Trudy stepped back in horror. The clamchowder had been contaminated, the taster had abloody nose, and Trudy was fired the next day.The taster was given a two-day suspension for vi-olating the health code.

Many readers will empathize with Trudy. Somewould want to hold the sampler's head in theclam chowder for five minutes. Nevertheless,Trudy committed a bizarre act that cannot becondoned. Being under such heavy pressure thatday, she should have used an on-the-spot relaxa-tion technique. Exhaling and inhaling a fewtimes before inspecting the kitchen might haveworked.

The consequences of Trudy's self-sabotage lastedonly a few days. The company president heardabout the incident, and found it amusing. He ex-plained to Trudy's manager that he would not re-verse her decision, and he could not condone vi-olence. But he added that Trudy's outburst mightbe classified as "justifiable homicide." "Besidesthat," he commented, "the company clam chow-der is excellent." Trudy's manager reconsidered,and Trudy was called back to work without aloss in pay.

The lesson from Trudy's experience is that at un-predictable times you may suddenly be called onto exert control over your emotions in order toprevent hurting your career. Try practicing emo-tional control by purposely placing yourself insituations where you have the urge to chokesomebody. Try out a few verbal responses thatmay safely give vent to your anger, such as say-ing: "What you are doing bugs me. Please stop."A suggested practice setting is a crowded movietheater where people seated near you might betalking or noisily crumpling candy wrappers. Orhow about standing in line at a supermarketwhile a coupon collector in front of you takes tenminutes to get her coupons credited?

Snooping

Unauthorized rummaging through company re-cords is a surefire path to self-defeat. Rarely isthe information obtained from snooping worththe risk of being caught. If you are looking fortrade secrets, then you are committing a criminalact. If you just

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want to discover what the company has put inwriting about you, there is an alternative. Free-dom of information laws allow you to demand tosee your personnel file. Demands of this naturemay be a political blunder, but they are less dam-aging than being caught snooping.

Trevor, an ambitious junior in a management con-sulting firm, wanted to know what the companythought of his chances for someday being invitedinto partnership. He asked his boss's opinion onthis topic over lunch one day. The boss said that itwas much too soon for the partners to make sucha determination.

Trevor wasn't convinced. His conversations withother consultants in the firm suggested that thepartners kept a management inventory chart. Thechart described the partners' collective opinionabout the promotability of each member of theprofessional staff. Trevor decided to make an in-vestigation of his own. Although the office wasn'tofficially open on Saturdays, many of the juniorsused that time to prepare client reports and takecare of paperwork. One Saturday morning, Trevorwas the only person in the office. He wanderedinto the office of Foster Reinholz, the senior part-ner.

Trevor attempted to wiggle open Reinholz's topdesk drawer, where he had heard the managementinventory chart was kept. As Trevor knelt downin front of the massive oak desk, in walked FosterReinholz. Trevor felt the blood rush to his face,and his lips began to twitch. The senior partnersaid in accusatory tones, "What can I help youwith?"

"Nothing, nothing," fumbled Trevor, "I'm justlooking for a yellow legal pad. The supply cabin-et seems to be locked."

"I doubt you will find a legal pad in my desk. I'mnot in charge of office supplies around here," saidFoster.

The senior partner apprised others in the firm ofTrevor's strange behavior. The incident was notdiscussed with Trevor, but his name was deletedfrom the list of people with potential for partner-ship. Foster said he did not wish to investigate theincident, but he would never approve for partner-ship any person he did not trust.

Intelligent and ambitious, Trevor did not stop tothink of the implications of his actions. Snoopingis no more welcomed by business associates thanit is by spouses or roommates. Before sneakinginto the senior partner's office, he neglected toask himself a key question in preventing careerself-sabotage: "If what I am contemplating be-comes public knowledge, what will be its down-side risk to my career?" Ask yourself the samequestion whenever you are contemplating a riskyact.

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11How Organizations Commit Career Hom-icide

It is too simplistic to place all the blame for self-sabotage on the victims. Sometimes it is the faultof the organization. As psychologist Don Colehas concluded from his research: "Professionalsuicide is often not 'suicide' at all, but rather akind of organizational 'murder' in which thebrightest and most committed employees getkilled off in a professional sense by the very or-ganizations that are badly in need of the talentsthey offer." 1

The incidence of career homicide was first form-ally observed in a major aerospace company.After a period of from three to five years withthe company, some of the brightest, most talen-ted, and hardest-working managers and profes-sionals would either begin to deteriorate or with-draw from the organization. Some would

Quit their positions for other jobs that were farbeneath their capabilities.

Become disruptive and do things for which theymust have known they would be fired.

Quit working hard and little by little retire on thejob.

Fail to keep up with the technology and gradu-ally allow themselves to become outmoded.

Develop psychosomatic problems such as back-aches, headaches, ulcers, and dizziness.

Let themselves deteriorate to a point where theyappeared

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ripe for serious self-injury through excessiveweight gain or the pressure of an exorbitant workschedule. 2

In this chapter I describe seven of the most im-portant homicidal tendencies of organizations,and how this needless destruction of careers canbe prevented. But let's not forget that althoughthe company can be a major contributor to careersabotage, we all have some responsibility forstaving off our own victimization.

Leaving People Too Much on Their Own

Critics generally contend that most organizationsexercise too much control over their members.People are not given enough freedom to pursueobjectives they believe are worthwhile. This cri-ticism may be valid, but there is a major problemlurking at the other extreme. Some organizationsgrant managers and professionals so much free-dom that these people run the risk of working toachieve objectives that are of little concern to topmanagement. If goals and objectives are notclearly articulated, people waste resources on in-consequential projects.

Shana, the director of safety and health at anoffice-equipment manufacturer, became quite in-terested professionally in "sick buildings." Theterm relates to the observation that workers insome office buildings have an alarming numberof colds, skin problems, and viral infections. Al-legedly, these health problems are created by tox-ins in the air produced by heated office machinesand various chemicals such as photocopying ma-chine toner.

Shana assumed that top management was genu-inely interested in seeing to it that none of thecompany's buildings was "sick." After all, thecompany policy manual included a statementabout the company's providing a safe and healthywork environment for all employees. Besidesthat, the company had hired her and given her astaff of two professionals and one assistant. Shanamentioned to her boss, Megan, the vice-presidentof human resources, that she would be investigat-ing the problem of sick buildings. Megan saidthat the project sounded interesting and thatShana should do what she thought best.

Shana and one of her staff members, Tony, gearedup to study the problem of sick buildings withintheir company. They attended conferences;

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they networked with others across the country in-terested in the same problem; and they hired anoutside consultant to help them. After one yearthey had completed their task, and prepared asixty-page technical report.

Megan was somewhat supportive of Shana'sstudy, which did indicate a high level of toxicityin the air of one building. This could mean thatthere was some potential for an above-averagerate of employee illness. Curing the problemmight cost several hundred thousand dollars.Shana and Tony were excited about their findingsbecause they believed that they were on an im-portant mission. Megan then attempted to arrangea three-way meeting among herself, Shana, andthe president of the company.

When the vice-president of human resources ex-plained the nature of the meeting she was request-ing, the president said, "You take care of this,Megan. I'm not interested. It sounds like a bunchof quackery. Anything else we need to talk abouttoday?" When Shana heard of the president's re-action she became first enraged and then des-pondent. She remained in a motivational funklong enough to receive two consecutive below-average performance appraisals over the nextyear. Shana's career had lost its momentum.

The organization was certainly at fault for lettingShana work so long on a project that the presid-ent did not value. However, a staff person canavoid Shana's predicament by investigating man-agement's interest in a project before plungingahead.

Emphasizing Negative Rather Than PositiveFeedback

The most frequent complaint of employees isthat management always lets them know whenthey do something wrong but not when they dosomething right. This complaint shows up incompany attitude surveys, when outside consult-ants talk to insiders, and at social gatherings.One could argue that this state of affairs is desir-able, because it reflects the philosophy of man-agement by exception: The manager gets in-volved only when a problem occurs.

The flaw in management by exception is that itoverlooks the fact that people need to be rewar-ded for the things they do right in order to sus-tain their efforts. In extremes, receiving virtually

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all negative feedback makes people feel unappre-ciated and alienated. The person whose gooddeeds go unnoticed, and whose mistakes aredramatized, can sometimes be triggered into ca-reer self-sabotage. Kip, a credit manager for anequipment-leasing company, explains the cir-cumstances leading to his downfall:

The results of my work are very visible. If weguess wrong about a customer's credit-worthiness,the company knows about it in spades. Manage-ment hears very quickly when customers don'tpay on time, or don't pay us at all. We then haveto go through the hassle of taking back the equip-ment. In the meantime, we've tied up the equip-ment and it has generated very little, or no, reven-ue.

The default rate on the credit I have approved hasbeen very favorable. We make the occasionalmistake, but we are running less than 2 percentdefaults. I'm proud of what I and my assistanthave accomplished. Yet management hardlymakes mention of our contribution to the com-pany. At performance appraisal time, I usually geta handshake and a smile. I also get an occasional,'Keep up the good work.' But other than that,nobody ever mentions when I've done a good job.

Last year the company decided it wanted me tocut the default rate by 25 percent. I said it was atough goal, but I would try. As it worked out, Icut the rate by 29 percent. I was very proud. Des-pite cutting back the rate, we had one very visibledefault. We leased a new robot for makingquality-control inspections. Unfortunately, ourfirst lessee proved to be a deadbeat.

The vice-president of finance called me into hisoffice. He started chewing me out for running asloppy credit check. For me, it was the last straw.I couldn't control myself. I started ranting aboutnot being appreciated, and yelling that nobody re-cognized the contribution of the credit depart-ment. I told the vice-president he could take a fly-ing leap. Like a jerk, I ran out of the building.

Later on, I came back and resigned in a sensibleway. But it was too late. I had made a fool of my-self in the equipment-leasing industry. I wasbranded a hothead. I'm now working for 30 per-cent less pay as the manager of an employee cred-it union in a hospital.

You can avoid Kip's unhappy experience by re-cognizing that it is not unusual for a manager tooffer very little positive feedback, yet always toemphasize the negative kind. Anticipating theproblem will help you avoid being crushinglydisappointed when it occurs. You are thereforeless likely to become enraged with negativefeedback.

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Confusion over the Rules of the Game

By ''rules of the game" I mean an understandingof what needs to be done to get ahead or to beotherwise rewarded by management. There is of-ten a big discrepancy between what top manage-ment says is important for advancement andwhat actually counts. The folklore of the com-pany may state that "dedicated, committed em-ployees are those chosen for promotion." Inpractice, so long as a person performs ad-equately, currying favor with the people in poweris a much swifter route to a good job than hardwork and talent.

Another example is that in a sales organization,top management may state that good customerservice is the number-one priority and that pro-motions and salary increases will be based onthat accordingly. In reality, sales volumewith aspecial emphasis on new customersis the truepath to promotion and high earnings. The personwho emphasizes customer service, and down-plays sales volume and cultivating new business,is thus defeating his or her own purposes.

Below is a list of confusions over the rules of thegame that were present in an aerospace company.The same confusion and conflict occurs in manyorganizations. Employees who take the com-pany's implied promises too literally may be mis-guided and wind up in a self-defeating adversari-al relationship with management.

Promise: If you do good work, you will be re-warded.

Reality: The only way to get rewarded is bythreatening to quit.

Promise: If you develop a product, you will beplaced in charge of your own division or works.

Reality: When a product is successful enough, itis given to manufacturing. You are then sentback to develop another product.

Promise: We want people who will seize re-sponsibility.

Reality: The result of seizing responsibility is (a)you get more work to do, (b) people see you as athreat and get mad at you, and (c) you get lesscooperation from the organization.

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Promise: We want employees to push us (man-agement) for the things they feel need to bedone.

Reality: Management talks to you less and lesswhen you are assertive.

Promise: Results count.

Reality: Results are not as important as how yourboss or your boss's boss feels about you.

Promise: I want to know what you think regard-less of how unflattering it may be.

Reality: If you express what you think, and it isnot flattering, you end up being punished.

Promise: We are a rapidly expanding company,where there is considerable opportunity for youto get ahead.

Reality: We are in an industry that is static or de-clining, and there are in fact few opportunitieshere. 3

By acting as if these promises were reality, youmay stumble into self-defeating blunders. Forexample, it would certainly be self-defeating tomake unflattering comments to your boss if he orshe bristles at being criticized.

To avoid the problem of not knowing the rules,take the initiative to understand the true organiz-ational norms. Speak to people from differentparts of the organization about what aspects ofperformance really count. Observe carefullywhich people in the organization are favored,and what rules they tend to follow. Be on thealert continually for what activities really do getrewarded.

The Pursuit of Conflicting Goals

A major source of job stress is the pursuit ofconflicting goals, such as happens when two ofyour supervisors give you conflicting orders.With too many goals, you'll feel trappedbecauseyou are bound to get somebody angry whatevergoal you attain. When you get the wrong personangry, the result can be self-defeating. Sherri, amajor account manager in an insurance com-pany, explains the problems she encountered:

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The purpose of my job is to take care of severalmajor accounts. I am supposed to solve theirproblems, and look for openings to save themmoney on premiums. I'm also supposed to expandtheir coverage wherever possible. Another keypart of my mission is to make sure the accountdoes not slip away to another carrier. In the insur-ance business, you have to stay alert to the com-petition. They forever snipe at you, promising tooffer better service at lower cost.

I know my accounts very well. Some of them justwant to deal with the facts of insurance. It'sstrictly business. Others like the relationship partof dealing with an insurance company. They ex-pect me to make small talk with them, and takethem out to lunch and dinner. I sell these clientsinsurance, and I help cure their loneliness.

For whatever reason, some of my customerswould rather spend an occasional dinner with meinstead of being with family and friends. It's okaywith me. I'll do what needs to be done to hold onto an account.

I started to get into trouble with the companyafter a new austerity program was announced.Some guy with an MBA convinced managementthat the company's sales-retention costs were toohigh. This boils down to meaning that people likemyself were spending too much money entertain-ing our accounts. I wish it weren't true. I wouldlike to spend much less of my time and the com-pany's money entertaining my clients. The fact is,however, that several of my accounts will jump tothe competition if they are not entertained royally.

Shortly after the austerity program was an-nounced, the company imposed some very fancypremium targets. This meant that I had to gener-ate some more business, big time. If I cut back onentertainment expenses, I knew I would lose busi-ness. It had already proved to be true in one com-pany. I told the insurance manager at one of myaccounts that I would be doing less business en-tertaining. Thirty days later, he turned over a bigchunk of our business to a competitor.

Generating more business also meant that I wouldincur heavy entertainment expenses. It usually re-quires a lot of entertaining to start a new account.So there I was running up heavy entertainmentexpenses to hold on to old accounts and get newones. I was moving toward reaching the new salestargets. At the same time I was going over budgeton entertainment.

My boss told me that top management wanted meto keep up the sales but lower my sales expenses.That's like telling a firefighter to put out morefires but save on water. As a result of all this, Iwas getting into squabbles with two layers ofmanagement. They were pleased with my premi-um volume, but they were getting on my back formy cost of sales.

My boss would tell me to be more innovative insaving money on

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entertainment. My response was to make com-ments about entertaining accounts at Burger King.They didn't see the humor. I explained that my en-tertainment was cost-effective, so what I was do-ing made sense. We kept up this ridiculous dia-logue.

Finally, two of my biggest accounts were as-signed to another major account manager. I wasgiven a couple of lesser accounts in their place.My boss and his boss were much cooler to methan in the past. I had hurt my reputation with thecompany. Because of an ailing insurance industryat the time, I decided it was no time to look foranother employer.

Maybe I was a little too stubborn, but the com-pany put me in an unfair squeeze. I have a lesslucrative position, and I really didn't do anythingwrong. I don't know how I'm going to work myway out of my dilemma.

To minimize the chances of being sabotaged byconflicting goals, Sherri should have confrontedmanagement tactfully about the squeeze shefaced. She could have asked management to as-sign priorities as between generating new busi-ness and controlling entertainment expenses.

Putting the Lid on Innovative Thinking

Many victims of career homicide have an entre-preneurial spirit, characterized by an urge to in-novate. They want to launch new ventures forthe organization and improve on what alreadyexists. Entrepreneurial thinkers have a strongneed to accomplish things for the sake of accom-plishment. They are primarily concerned withend results and have less concern for the meansby which these results are achieved. 4

In contrast to the typical bureaucratic-style man-ager, the entrepreneurial personality is willing tomake waves and does not fear taking politicallyunwise actions. Entrepreneurial personalitiesmay not be political blunderers, yet they are notoverly concerned as to how their opinions will bereceived by people in power. Instead, they be-come single-mindedly committed to an object-ive, and in their drive to reach their objectivethey often alienate their superiors.

Innovative people do not want to be told how todo their job, particularly when they are con-vinced that they have developed a

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better way. They believe that it is their respons-ibility to get the job done, and they do not wel-come direction on when, where, or how to do it.Part of their bravado comes from a feeling ofprofessional security. Entrepreneurial thinkerstypically believe that they can readily find newemployment or start their own business.

Standard operating procedures are often castaside as innovators seek better and quicker waysto reach objectives. This creates problems for arigidly bureaucratic organization that prefers toaccomplish things in a standardized way. (Mostorganizations think of themselves as innovative,and none would accept being called rigidly bur-eaucratic.)

Traditional managers, who respect routine andstandard operating procedures, often find waysof putting the lid on highly innovative thinkers.The entrepreneurial type is labeled a "blue skythinker" or accused of being "insensitive to priceconsiderations" or "unwilling to accept whatcan't be changed." He or she is denied promotionand choice assignments.

When this clash does occur between the entre-preneurial thinker and the bureaucrat, the formermay suffer a career setback. From one perspect-ive, the entrepreneurial thinker is self-sabot-aging. Putting less emphasis on innovationwould probably be better for his or her organiza-tional survival. Or the episode can be regarded ascareer homicide. It takes place because the or-ganization has not developed the managementskills and attitudes necessary to accommodatethis kind of worker.

In some instances, innovative thinkers who aredriven out of large bureaucracies go on to foundsuccessful new businesses. Most entrepreneurs inthe computer field, for example, were at one timefired from a larger corporation that rejected theirinnovations. At other times, the organization canwreck the career of an entrepreneurially-mindedworker. Gary explains what happened to him.

I worked for ten years in the product developmentend of the plastics industry. Among the manyhousehold and industrial products we manufac-tured were plastic trash bags. Our company had areasonable share of the market, and was lookingto expand. An area of uncertainty was thatplastic-bag manufacturing became a political hor-net's nest. Many environmental-

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ists were opposed to plastic bags; yet our industryhad collected solid data showing that plastic bagswere better for the environment than paper.

The uncertainty in the industry made our manage-ment more cautious than ever. It was an unfortu-nate situation for me because I had some bigplans. Our group had developed a way to makestronger bags at a lower price. But it meant con-siderable investment in new technology. The star-tup costs would therefore be enormous. Yet myanalysis suggested that within a few years thenew bags would be a booming success.

I was told to cool it because top management wasnot going to invest in new technology when thewhole plastic bag industry could explode at anyminute. I wouldn't cool it. I kept on makingpresentations, sending memos, and grabbingpeople in the halls to get them to listen to me.

The company got its retribution by demoting meto a lab supervisor. My revenge was to quit andbuild a new company based on my idea. I pouredall my savings into an attempt to start a plasticbag business based on new technology. Monthswent by as I tried to borrow money and find in-vestors. I encountered as many deaf ears on theoutside as on the inside.

After five months I gave up the idea of revolu-tionizing the plastic trash bag business. A fewmonths later I found employment as a product de-velopment engineer in a small company. What'sreally eating my heart out is that I had a break-through idea. In recent months, a new companyhas been formed by somebody else to producevirtually the same bag I had in mind.

Gary's problem is difficult to resolve. One ap-proach taken by corporate employees whoseideas for new products are rejected is to formtheir own companies. Another approach is to putthe first great idea aside and develop anotheridea the company would be willing to sponsor.Attempt to discover the type of innovations thecompany is able to support and promote.

Crisis-Oriented Management

Everyone has heard of the manager who proudlyproclaims, "I do not get heart attacks, I givethem." Although a cliché, such a pronouncementcan be true. Researchers Larry Pace and StanleySmits have shown that crisis-oriented managerscreate overwhelming stress for some team mem-bers. They are often substance abusers them-selves, addicted to drugs and alcohol or to theirown Type A behavior. 5 People with Type A be-havior are impatient, demanding, aggressive, andhostile.

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Crisis-oriented managers use crises to motivatethemselves and others. They relish sudden busi-ness downturns or budget cutbacks because suchconditions legitimize pushing people into afrenzy. One executive who specializes in turningaround troubled companies recommends thatduring a crisis members of the management teambe supplied with cots in their offices. In this way,they can minimize the need to take time fromwork to sleep at home.

Managers who thrive on the crisis mode commitcareer homicide by creating so much stress thattheir subordinates engage in self-defeating beha-vior. Stressed-out team members with a predis-position toward counterproductive behavior maybe triggered into substance abuse and otherforms of escapism, such as absenteeism, late-ness, daydreaming, and denying that problemsexist. In the turmoil, someone like Doris maysuffer a severe career setback.

Doris worked in the state education department asa program supervisor. Her particular assignmentwas to coordinate activities to ensure that licensedhealth-care professionals enrolled in a three-hourseminar on detecting child abuse. New legislationhad made this seminar a precondition for profes-sionals renewing their licenses and registrationswith the state. Doris believed strongly in the mis-sion of the program, and enthusiastically pursuedher objective.

Mitchell, the agency head to whom Doris repor-ted, worked at a frantic pace, and expected hiskey people to do likewise. At his regular staffmeetings Mitch would forever focus on thepending budget cuts. His favorite saying was,"The taxpayers are demanding more and more,but the legislators are giving us less and less." Al-though Mitch often cried "wolf", heavy budgetcuts did in fact take place in the midst of Doris'schild-abuse awareness program.

Doris lost one professional staff member and oneassistant from her program. Already overworked,she pleaded with Mitch to get an extension on herdeadline for completing the first phase of the pro-ject. Mitch berated Doris for her callous disregardof the taxpayers' needs. He told her to be a trueprofessional and work as many hours as requiredto complete the program on time. Doris explainedthat she was already working sixty hours a week.Mitch replied that he did not want to hear ex-cuses. He also told Doris to prepare for the nextround of budget cuts.

Doris soon lapsed into physical and emotional ex-haustion. She began

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overeating and overdrinking, and developedsevere dermatitis. A physician working for thestate recommended that Doris be given a thirty-day medical leave of absence. Mitch approved theleave, at the same time writing a memo for Dor-is's personnel file stating that she could not toler-ate much work pressure.

Assume that you feel trapped working under acrisis-oriented manager, and believe that the situ-ation is adversely affecting your health. Requesta transfer and explain to others the real reasonswhy you would prefer to work for a differentmanager. Specify that working continually in acrisis mode is bad for your productivity andhealth.

Recruiting Mostly Outsiders for Key Positions

In many instances, recruiting outsiders for keypositions makes good organizational sense.Needed experience and talent can be brought in-to the company when it is not available intern-ally. The outsider may introduce an objectiveviewpoint and a broader perspective that insiderslack. Also, the outsider may be able to take cour-ageous leadership actions because he or she hasno internal political ties.

Despite the potential advantages of bringing inoutsiders for key positions, if overdone it cancontribute to career homicide. Competent, hard-working company employees become discour-aged and demoralized if they perceive them-selves as ineligible for choice promotions. As anextreme response, a disaffected employee mayeven leave the organization precipitously to takea lesser job in a lesser organization. If the organ-ization promoted more company employees intokey positions, fewer people would damage theircareers by making impulsive job changes.

Barry was a regional marketing manager for a na-tional chain of nursing homes. He concentratedhis efforts on creating a market for the nursinghomes through such means as speaking to sourcesof referral, advertising, and obtaining publicity.Barry believed strongly that the nursing homes herepresented were making an important contribu-tion to society. They were well designed and wellstaffed, offered excellent elder-care programs, andwere competitively priced.

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In Barry's assessment, he was not being paid wellenough for a marketing manager with so much re-sponsibility. He explained to the corporate staffthat he wanted to advance. Barry was reassuredthat he would be in line for future promotions. Asthe future unfolded, however, Barry's promotionwas not forthcoming. He was passed over forthree promotions that went to outsiders.

Each time a new person was brought in from theoutside, Barry wanted to know why he had notbeen given the nod. He was told each time thathis performance was fine, but that the outsiderchosen had special expertise or experience neededby the company. Barry countered with the argu-ment that the nationally based nursing care in-dustry was so new that his experience was almostas lengthy as any outsider's. Barry was told by thepresident that he should be more patient and thatorganizational needs were more important thanindividual ambitions.

Barry could no longer tolerate being passed overin favor of outsiders. He hastily looked for a newposition and within a month found a marketingmanager's position with a fledgling chain ofchild-care centers. But because the company wasseverely undercapitalized and could not meet itspayroll while waiting for an adequate revenuestream, Barry was laid off after six months. Henow felt that his career was in a tailspin. Unableto find another position directly in his field of ex-perience, Barry accepted a position as a market-ing manager for a public utility.

Barry now earns substantially less than he wasearning at the nursing home chain, and his pro-spects for promotion look slim. The utility is astable organization with very few changes inmanagement.

To avoid the trap of working for a company thatfills key positions primarily from the outside, in-vestigate a company carefully before joining it.Speak to both current and former employees. Ifyou are currently working for a company that of-fers few promotions from within, discuss yourconcerns with top management. Maybe your dis-cussion will prompt management to look at in-ternal people more carefully before recruiting ex-ternally.

Preventing Career Homicide

Organizations can prevent career homicide byavoiding the practices that contribute to the prob-lem. The seven negative practices described hereare major contributors to career homicide. Careerhomicide can therefore be substantially reducedif management

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Does not leave people too much on their own,without goals or guidance.

Emphasizes positive rather than negative feed-back.

Clarifies the rules of the game.

Minimizes conflicting goals.

Encourages innovative thinking.

Avoids crisis-oriented management.

Allows ample opportunities for promotion fromwithin.

In addition to addressing the specific contribut-ors to career homicide, organizations can alsotake the following steps to increase the effectiveutilization of their people:

Step 1. Establish specific organizational goals.Being specific reduces the ambiguous characterof organizational goals and helps prevent peoplefrom pursuing inappropriate goals. If peopleknow what organizational goals they should bepursuing, they can better mesh their personalgoals with those of the company. Working to-ward specific goals is also a potential stress redu-cer. Accomplishing something tangible alwaysmakes people feel refreshed and less tense.

Step 2. Initiate performance evaluations at regu-lar intervals. A well-constructed evaluation sys-tem increases the chances that people will be re-warded for achieving good results rather than formerely impressing others.

Step 3. Initiate training and development pro-grams that teach managers how to be construct-ively candid with people. If these skills are deve-loped by managers, fewer people will be de-ceived and disappointed. As a result, they areless likely to impulsively damage their careers orto burn their bridges completely. Constructivecandor also helps people to overcome self-de-feating behavior. If they know what they are do-ing wrong, they may be able to take remedial ac-tion.

Step 4. Provide opportunities for decompressionand the periodic release of stress created byfrustration and other problems. Managementprograms on stress reduction and attendance atprofessional conferences help achieve these

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purposes. Talking to people from other organiza-tions at conferences and trade fairs is often emo-tionally soothing. It helps establish the fact thatpeople working for other employers also facesignificant job challenges.

Step 5. Reduce the anxiety in the system. Anxietycan be an effective motivator, but too much of itleads to worrisome attitudes that become self-de-feating. Anxiety can be reduced by clarifyinggoals and being honest about upcoming changessuch as budget cuts and layoffs.

Step 6. Help people at every job level preventobsolescence by telling them what they need toknow and offering them training. Some peoplesabotage their careers by becoming technicallyand professionally obsolete. If they were awareof their knowledge and skill deficiencies and ofhow to improve them, they could prevent careerself-sabotage. 6 A sales representative puts it thisway: ''I was headed toward self-destruction justbecause I never thought to catch up with the newway of doing things. I was hanging on to a used-car salesman approach in an environment thatdemanded more professionalism. My managersaw what was happening, and urged me tochange. He showed me the way and helped mesalvage my career."

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12A Master Plan for Removing Hidden Bar-riers

Many suggestions have been offered so far forovercoming the hidden barriers to your success.Pick and choose among them to fit your particu-lar circumstances and personal style. But keep inmind that overcoming self-defeating behavior re-quires hard work and patience. A few sporadicmoments of determined action will not eliminatecareer self-sabotage.

In addition to the suggestions you may alreadyhave begun to implement, or contemplate imple-menting, study the master plan in this chapter. Itis an overall strategy, based on sensible prin-ciples of human behavior, to help people over-come career self-sabotage. The master plan hasnine widely applicable components. Not all ofthem will be relevant to your circumstances.Only you can know what will work best for you,so choose accordingly:

1. Examine your script and make the necessarychanges.

2. Stop blaming others for your problems.

3. Solicit feedback on the actions you take.

4. Stop denying the existence of problems.

5. Make positive changes in your life.

6. Modify or leave relationships that divert youfrom your career goals.

7. Get appropriate help from your organization.

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8. Visualize self-enhancing behavior.

9. Make happiness your goal.

Examine Your Script and Make the NecessaryChanges

Much importance has been attached to the influ-ence of early-life programming in determiningwhether a person is predisposed to self-defeat.Note carefully the word predisposed. A personmay be predisposed to snatch defeat from thejaws of victory, but that doesn't mean the predis-position makes defeat inevitable. It does meanthat that person will have to work harder to over-come a tendency toward self-sabotage.

A script is much like a set point with respect tobody weight. A woman whose natural bodyweight (her set point) is 145 pounds will experi-ence difficulty getting down to 125 pounds andstaying at that weight. Her body will fight her insuch ways as slowing down her metabolismwhen she begins to decrease her food intake.Despite having set points of 145 pounds, manywomen who weigh in that neighborhood do nev-ertheless maintain a diet and exercise regimenthat keeps them at a much lower weight. It maybe a lifelong struggle, but it can be done.

The set point analogy applied to self-defeatingscripts means that you can identify them andmodify them. After asking yourself a series ofpenetrating questions, you can exercise con-scious control over changing the script. An ef-fective way of identifying your script, in additionto answering the ten questions posed at the endof Chapter 2, is to look for patterns in your set-backs.

Did you show up late for several key appoint-ments with upper management or important cus-tomers? Did you blow up at people who have theauthority to make administrative decisions aboutyour future? Did you get so tense during yourlast few command performances that you wereunable to function effectively? Marcel, a vendingmachine sales representative, successfully en-gaged in script analysis by identifying his patternof mistakes. He explains:

Three times in my career I have screwed up badlyon an important sales opportunity. One time Ibrought a demonstration machine to a large office

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building. Two helpers from the company camealong with me. We installed the vending machinein time for a demonstration to the building man-ager. When she inserted money to see if the ma-chine could really vend decent pizza, the machinejammed. Nothing happened. I smiled and saidthat we may have jammed the machine in transit.I opened the machine, but I couldn't detect theproblem.

It dawned on me that I had failed to run a final in-spection at the factory. If I had discovered a prob-lem there, a technician could have bailed me out.The building manager bade me good-bye, andwasn't interested in setting another date for me toreturn. The embarrassment was even more painfulthan the lost sale.

The second time I screwed up, I was at a vendingmachine trade show, in Niagara Falls, New York,demonstrating our product. I hadn't thought of theobvious fact that many of the potential customerswould be from nearby Ontario, Canada. I lost afew prospective customers because the machinewas not set for Canadian currency. The size oftheir coins is not identical with those of the Un-ited States. If I had planned ahead, we wouldhave had two demonstration machines, one foreach currency. Or better yet, one machine thattook both U.S. and Canadian currency.

My third blooper was to bring a potential big cus-tomer into our factory to demonstrate a fresh-fruitvending machine. The purchasing manager rep-resented a major hospital. He inserted two quar-ters in the machine, then let out a howl andjumped back two feet at the same time. The poorguy had received an electric shock.

Here's what happened: Because of a roof leak,rain water had dripped onto the machine all dur-ing the night. Enough water got into the controlsto create a short circuit that directed electricalcurrent to the outside of the machine. When thepurchasing manager touched the machine, electri-city ran through his body. He wasn't hurt, but Ilost a potentially large account.

My analysis revealed a pattern to the trouble Ibrought on myself. I messed up by not double-checking everything. In the excitement of a pro-spective big sale, I wasn't composed enough to beextra-thorough. I now keep a checklist of poten-tial mistakes with me at every sale. My career isgoing fine, and I haven't made another agonizingblooper.

Stop Blaming Others for Your Problems

Blaming others for our problems contributes toself-defeating behavior and career self-sabotage.Projecting blame onto others is self-defeating be-cause doing so relieves you of most of the re-sponsibility for your setback and failure. Con-sider this example:

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If someone blames the office backstabbers fornot receiving a promotion, he or she won't haveto worry about becoming a stronger candidatefor future promotions. Not to improve one's suit-ability for promotion is self-sabotaging. If youaccept most of the blame for not being promoted,you are more likely to make the changes neces-sary to qualify in the future.

An underlying theme in several components ofthe master plan is that we all need to engage inthoughts and actions that increase our personalcontrol. This is precisely the reason that blamingothers for our problems is self-sabotaging. Byturning over control of your fate to forces outsideyourselfto superiors, subordinates, co-workers,parents, children, teachers, and governmentpolicy makersyou are holding them responsiblefor your problems.

Suppose, you argue, that others are responsiblefor some of your problems. What about the rav-ages caused by a paranoid boss, a career-chokingspouse, or a recession in your industry? Admit-tedly, these are all formidable factors that inter-fere with career momentum. Yet it is your re-sponsibility to exert some control over theseforces the best you can. Try to change bosses,take the initiative in working things out withyour spouse, or do an outstanding job of servi-cing the customers the recession has not takenaway.

Solicit Feedback on the Actions You Take

Throughout this book I have emphasized the im-portance of obtaining feedback on your actionsand words so that you can monitor whether youare sabotaging yourself. A starting point is tolisten carefully to any direct or indirect com-ments from your superiors, subordinates, and co-workers about how you are coming across tothem.

Bill, a technical writer, heard three people in oneweek make comments about his appearance. Itstarted innocently with, "Here, let me fix yourcollar." Next, an office assistant said, "Bill, areyou coming down with something?" The thirdcomment was, "You look pretty tired today. Haveyou been working extra-hard?" Bill processed thisfeedback carefully. He

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used it as a signal that his steady late-night drink-ing episodes were adversely affecting his image.He then cut back his drinking enough to revert tohis normal healthy appearance.

An assertive and thick-skinned person might tryanother technique: Approach a sampling ofpeople both on and off the job with this line ofquestioning: "I'm trying to develop myself per-sonally. Can you think of anything I do or saythat creates a bad impression in any way? Do notbe afraid of offending me. Only people whoknow me can provide me with this kind of in-formation."

Take notes to show how serious you are aboutthe feedback. When someone provides any feed-back at all, say, "Please continue, this is veryuseful." Try not to react defensively when youhear something negative. You asked for it, andthe person is truly doing you a favor.

Stop Denying the Existence of Problems

Many people sabotage their careers because theydeny the existence of a problem and therefore donot take appropriate action. Denial takes place asa defensive maneuver against a painful reality.Much denial takes place in the context of mer-gers, acquisitions, and hostile takeovers. Somepeople do not start looking for jobs until it is toolate. Robert Bell, who has extensively studiedthe problem of takeovers, suggests:

Talk to any consultant who has advised on thestaffing issues in takeovers and any manager whohas lived through a takeover, and one term willinevitably come up: denial. This is the belief thatthe next person will get fired, not you. This oc-curs despite the overwhelming evidence that yourcompany, division, unit or you are on the scrapheap. So you stay until it is too late. 1

Another self-sabotaging form of denial is to ig-nore the importance of upgrading one's creden-tials despite overwhelming evidence that it is ne-cessary. Some people never quite complete a

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degree program that has become an informalqualification for promotion. Consequently theysabotage their chances of receiving a promotionfor which they are otherwise qualified. For theself-employed, treating the importance of fullcredentials with denial can result in a seriousbusiness decline.

Katrina was a massage therapist with a largeenough clientele to earn a good living. She hadstudied massage in both Europe and the UnitedStates. In the third year of her practice, her statepassed a law making it mandatory for massagetherapists to obtain a license. The paperwork anddocumentation involved in getting a license,however, are enormous. In addition, an examina-tion is usually required. Katrina scoffed at theidea that the licensing law would have any teeth.She denied that there would be any negative con-sequences for her practice from not having a li-cense.

Several years later, Katrina made an attempt toplace her annual ad in the classified telephone dir-ectory. The telephone company explained that ifshe wanted to be listed as a "licensed massagetherapist" or "licensed masseuse," she would haveto produce her license number. Because Katrinacould not advertise as a licensed practitioner, shehad to list herself among the health spas.

Many of her clients soon began to inquire if Kat-rina were a "real masseuse" or a self-taught one.She also began to receive more calls from menwho had interpreted her listing as being a "mas-sage parlor." Katrina did not lose all of her clien-tele, but her practice declined to the point that itwas no longer profitable. She now faced the di-lemma of working for a health spa as a "body rubexpert" or attempting to become licensed. Kat-rina's period of denial was at last over, and shebegan to take constructive action toward dealingwith her insufficient credentials.

Make Positive Changes in Your Life

There is something almost mystical about mak-ing positive changes in your life as a way ofovercoming self-sabotage. Although the changesyou make may not have anything directly to dowith self-defeating behavior, they do help you toachieve greater control over your life. For ex-ample, if you have always relied on others toprepare your income tax returns, and you now doit yourself, you have mastered one more part ofyour environment. You thus feel more in controlof your world than you were in the past.

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Sometimes the simplest changes can start a chainreaction of self-control. Some people who havenever before pumped their own gas are delightedwhen they master this simple routine that per-haps 85 percent of other drivers can do. Prepar-ing one's own income tax or pumping one's owngas alone will not conquer career self-sabotage.But suppose that you add to the list learning aforeign language, learning a new dance, develop-ing two new friends, becoming a big brother orbig sister to a disadvantaged child, giving anovercoat to a homeless person, and starting a re-cycling campaign in your house. You will feel alot more in control of your life than you did be-fore you acquired these new skills or did thesegood deeds.

Feeling in control of one's lifeand therefore be-ing more in controlis precisely the discipline theself-sabotaging person needs. People are some-times propelled into counterproductive routinesbecause they feel that they are being draggedalong by external forces. Their experience ismuch like that of a compact car being pushed tothe side of the road by the draft from a ten-wheeled truck passing on the left.

The person who consumes three drinks at lunchmight say: "I don't know why I did it. I couldn'tresist the temptation. Other people were payingfor the drinks." If you are in control, you can de-cline the two drinks you don't really needand thatare sure to lead to an impression-damagingwooziness back at the office. The securitiesbroker in control of her life can therefore avoidengaging in self-sabotaging stock manipulations.She can resist the one-time temptation offered bya gluttonous colleague.

Modify or Leave Relationships That Divert Youfrom Your Career Goals

People sometimes blame their career setbacks ona spouse or a domestic partner who doesn't un-derstand the importance of their work. A typicalcase is Ned, a field auditor who explained that hewas doing a mediocre job because his wife com-plained so much about his traveling. He thereforecut back on his travel to please her. His boss,however, was displeased with his low productiv-ity.

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In the boss's eyes, an effective field auditor be-longed in the field. Ned's wife, however, thoughtthat being home more frequently to do his shareof parenting and housekeeping was more import-ant than being well-received by the company.

People who blame their spouses or partners forencouraging them to engage in self-defeating ca-reer actions are partially correct. A partner whodoesn't share your career goals and dreams is aliability. To overcome this problem, and escapehandicapping, your career, you definitely have towork things out with this "significant other."

Pam, a product manager, often worked much laterat night than her husband, Corey, found accept-able. He claimed that when they married she hadnever mentioned that she would be spending somuch time at the office. Pam could feel the ten-sion whenever she prepared to leave for work,and she could sense a coolness in Corey's voicewhen she called home to say she would be late.Pam suggested that the two of them togethershould visit a relationship counselor.

The counseling sessions revealed that Corey feltinsecure about Pam's devotion to business. He ad-mitted to being concerned that her career was be-coming more important to her than their relation-ship. Pam reassured Corey that her marriage andher career were both very important, and thatCorey did not have to be jealous of her career.She also worked out a plan whereby she wouldrely more on her home computer in order to cutdown on overtime spent at work. Pam now feltthat she had more of the energy she needed tomove forward in her career, without sacrificingher relationship with Corey.

Pam was able to modify her relationship withCorey. At other times a relationship may be in-compatible with one's career because the partnerdoes not share the same goals and values and re-fuses to change. Goal incompatibility of thiskind can lead to career self-sabotaging behavi-ors. These include preoccupation with maritalproblems and withdrawing from heavy involve-ment in one's career because it leads to conflictat home. In such extreme cases, the person mustchoose between this partner and an unfetteredcareer. Trying to arrive at a workable comprom-ise before a heavy commitment or marriage takesplace is obviously the preferred solution.

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Get Appropriate Help from Your Organization

So far, I have not seen a box on any organizationchart labeled Department of Self-Sabotage.Nevertheless, it is worth considering seeking as-sistance from within your organization when youare damaging your own career. The very fact thatyou are seeking help suggests that the process ofovercoming self-sabotaging behavior has begun.Three sources of help are ordinarily available inlarge organizations: feedback and advice from asuperior; an employee assistance program; andhuman resource professionals. The smallest oforganizations can offer you only the first sourceof help, while medium-size organizations canusually offer you the first two.

Solicit Feedback and Advice from a Superior

Asking for feedback is a basic tactic for over-coming career self-sabotage. Aside from the val-id information feedback may provide, it usuallyleads also to advice and suggestions. A support-ive boss is likely to ask how he or she can helpwhen a subordinate comes for advice.

Alex, a financial analyst, was troubled by the factthat when making a presentation to managementhe became so nervous that he would incorrectlystate facts. Consequently, he was worried aboutbeing regarded as a mediocre financial analyst.The analyst asked his boss, who was experiencedat presentations, if he had noticed this problem.The boss said that he had noticed a few instancesin which Alex had flubbed his facts, but not to anunusual extent.

Alex then asked his boss what he could do aboutthe problem. The boss volunteered to set asidetime to listen to Alex conduct a dress rehearsal ofhis next two presentations. Alex took the boss upon the offer, and it did help him overcome hispresentation anxiety.

The rehearsals themselves benefited Alex, butthe support and encouragement shown by hisboss were equally valuable. Donald Cole's re-search has shown that emotionally supportivemanagers are effective antidotes to career hom-icide. 2

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Make Use of Employee Assistance Programs

A major purpose of an EAP is to help employeesovercome personal problems that interfere withtheir productivity. In the most typical arrange-ment, the employee assistance program coordin-ator refers the troubled employee to a treatmentfacility outside the organization. The same facil-ity is used by employees from many companies.Some larger organizations have their own treat-ment facility located on or off companypremises. The program is confidential, some-times to the extent that the company does noteven know which employees have referred them-selves for help.

Many of the problems dealt with by EAPs in-volve self-defeating behavior, including sub-stance abuse, cigarette addiction, compulsivegambling, financial problems, and the physicalabuse of family members. A company employeeis also eligible to spend one or two sessions withan EAP counselor to talk about self-sabotagingproblems in general. If the counselor thinks mul-tiple treatment sessions are required, an appro-priate referral would be made.

Seeking help from an EAP rather than going to amental health practitioner on one's own has animportant advantage. Employee assistance coun-selors work regularly with people whose person-al problems are negatively affecting job perform-ance. Also, the company usually pays the entirefee.

Confer with a Human Resources Professional

Another organizational resource that may help indealing with self-sabotaging tendencies is a hu-man resources professional who specializes incareer problems. Among these professionals arecounseling psychologists, industrial psycholo-gists, and career development specialists.

Lorie, a budget analyst, requested an appointmentwith a career development specialist to discusscareer planning. During the second session it be-came apparent that ''career planning" was a eu-phemism for "interpersonal problem." As Lorieexplained it, she often entered into disputes withpeople she was supposed to be helping, especiallymanagers from outside

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her department. Her role was to help people fromother departments prepare their budgets. Shebickered with operating people so often that sev-eral times they requested to work with anotherbudget analyst.

In discussing her problems with the career coun-selor, it became apparent to Lorie that the root ofher self-defeating behavior was a strong need tochallenge authority. At the same time, she had astrong need not to be challenged herself. She alsocame to realize that budget preparation always in-volved negotiation. Therefore, when she did notagree entirely with the figures presented to her, itwas not a signal to challenge their authority. Sim-ilarly, when people did not immediately agreewith her analysis, it did not mean that they wereattempting to challenge her authority.

The insights Lorie gained in the several sessionswith the career counselor helped her greatly toimprove her ability to engage in give-and-takeover budgets without assuming an attack posture.

Visualize Self-Enhancing Behavior

Visualization is a primary method for achievingmany different types of self-improvement. It istherefore an essential component of a masterplan for removing hidden barriers to success. Toapply visualization, program yourself to over-come self-sabotaging actions and thoughts. Ima-gine yourself engaging in self-enhancing, win-ning actions and thoughts. Picture yourselfachieving peak performance when good resultscount the most.

A starting point in learning to use visualizationfor overcoming career self-sabotage is to identifythe next job situation you will be facing that issimilar to ones you have flubbed in the past. Youthen imagine yourself mentally and physicallyprojected into that situation. Imagine what theroom looks like, who will be there, and the con-fident expression you will have on your face.Visualization is rather like watching a video ofyourself doing something right. An example:

Matt, an actuary in a life insurance company, hasan upcoming meeting with top management todiscuss his analysis of how insurance rates shouldbe changed to factor in the impact of AIDS onmortality rates. Based on past experience, Mattknows that he becomes flustered and acquiescentin high-level meetings about controversial topics(such as rate increases). Matt also knows that tobehave in this way is self-defeating.

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As he prepares for the meeting, he visualizes him-self calmly listening to challenges to his analysis.In response, he does not back off from his posi-tion, but smiles and presents his findings in moredetail. Matt visualizes the people who challengedhim changing their attitudes as he knowledgeablyexplains his case. By the end of the meeting Mattis warmly thanked for his recommendations onmaking rate changes to meet the incidence ofAIDS in the population. The president congratu-lates him on how well he stood up to the chal-lenges to his forecasts.

Make Happiness Your Goal

An inevitable consequence of career self-sabot-age is that it makes people unhappy. The self-de-feating person is typically a chronic complainer,moaning and groaning about bad breaks and badluck. "Why does something like this always hap-pen to me?" asks the self-saboteur. The answer isthat the self-saboteur has actively contributed tohis or her own problems.

Making happiness a goal can help overcome ca-reer self-sabotage because it helps you to be-come predisposed to feeling good. You develop aroutine of squeezing positive experiences out ofpotentially negative situations. You becomementally ready to create conditions that contrib-ute to happiness. At the same time, you learn toautomatically ward off many sources of self-de-feat and unhappiness. For example, if you arepredisposed to happiness, you will most likelynot misplace your car keys on the way to a cru-cial meeting. You will plan in hundreds of littleand big ways to avoid mistakes that can ruin aday, a year, or a career.

Planning for happiness is possible because theevidence suggests that it is somewhat underpeople's control. Unhappiness, by contrast,seems to be more predetermined by heredity. 3Nevertheless, if you have a predisposition to-ward unhappiness, achieving a substantialamount of happiness can outweigh your unhappi-ness. For example, even if being melancholyruns in your family, you may be able to feelhappy 75 percent of the time.

The keys to happiness4 presented next will helpyou to create the positive frame of mind thatcombats self-sabotage. They also serve as a con-venient checklist for leading a better life in gen-eral.

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1. Give high priority to the pursuit of happiness.Discover what makes you happy and create thetime to pursue those activities. Spending timedoing what you enjoy, on and off the job, con-tributes directly to your happiness.

2. Experience love and friendship. A happy per-son is successful in personal relationships, andexchanges caring and concern with loved ones.Happy people are able to love and be loved, andthey also reach out to co-workers.

3. Develop a sense of self-esteem. Self-love mustprecede loving others. High-esteem enables youto love and be loved. Self-esteem can sometimesbe increased by reflecting on all the good thingsyou have accomplished so far in your career.

4. Work hard at what you enjoy. Love may bethe most important contributor to happiness.Staying involved in work you enjoy is second.Find a job that fits your interests to help preventengaging in self-sabotaging behavior.

5. Seek accomplishments and the ability to enjoythem. A fundamental secret of happiness is ac-complishing things and savoring what you haveaccomplished. A major contributor to unhappi-ness is comparing one's successes, or lack ofthem, to those of other people. To be happy, youmust be happy with what you achieve.

6. Develop an attitude of openness and trust.Trusting other people leads to happiness, but dis-trusting others leads to unhappiness. Happypeople have open, warm, and friendly attitudes.

7. Appreciate the joys of day-to-day living. Livein the present without worrying unduly about thefuture or dwelling on past mistakes. Guardagainst becoming so preoccupied with planningyour life that you neglect to enjoy the happinessof the moment. The essence of being a happyperson is to savor what you have right now.

8. Learn to cope with anxiety, stress, grief, anddisappointment. To be happy you must learn howto face problems without being overburdened bythem or running away from them. After copingwith problems you will be better able to appreci-ate the joys of day-to-day life.

9. Energize yourself through physical fitness.Whether it is the

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endorphins released by exercise or just the re-laxed muscles, physical fitness fosters happiness.

10. Strive for a balanced emotional response topositive and negative experiences. Emotional in-tensity can be costly. People who reach thehighest highs also tend to reach the lowest lows.

11. Develop a philosophy or system of belief.Another key contributor to happiness is to be-lieve in something besides yourself. Happypeople have some system of beliefwhether it be areligion, a philosophy, or sciencethat comfortsthem and gives them a reason for living.

12. Have fun. A happy life is characterized byfun, zest, joy, and delight. When you create timefor fun, you add immensely to your personalhappiness. However, if you devote too muchtime to play, you will lose out on the fun of ac-complishing work. And that could be self-sabot-aging.

If your master plan for removing the hidden bar-riers to your success is properly executed, youwill have achieved a major milestone in your ca-reer. The only impediments to achieving successand happiness will lie outside yourself, and self-defeating behavior will no longer be your enemy.

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References

Chapter 1

1. The statements in the Self-Sabotage Question-naire are based on the behaviors and symptomsof people who engage in self-sabotage. Thesources for many of these behaviors and symp-toms are (a) the Appendix to the Diagnostic andStatistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 3rd ed.(New York: American Psychiatric Association,1987) and (b) "How to Avoid Sabotaging YourOwn Career," Personal Report for the Executive,October 15, 1989, p. 4.

Chapter 2

1. Dudley Bennett, TA and the Manager (NewYork: AMACOM 1976), p. 160.

2. Ibid.

3. Case researched by Katherine Werther.

4. Case researched by Bob Wilcox.

5. John Wareham, Wareham's Way: Escaping theJudas Trap (New York: Atheneum, 1983), p.107.

6. Ibid., p. 106.

7. Case researched by Sheri Stanton-Follett.

8. Case researched by John Simmons.

9. Wareham, Wareham's Way, pp. 103-115. Thequestions are reproduced or paraphrased, but theexamples and explanations are original.

Chapter 3

1. Thomas A. Widiger and Allen J. Frances,"Controversies Concerning the Self-DefeatingPersonality Disorder," in Rebecca C. Curtis (ed.),Self-Defeating Behaviors (New York: PlenumPress, 1989), p. 304.

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2. Adapted from Kenneth M. Golden, "Dealingwith The Problem Manager," Personnel, August1989, pp. 56-57.

3. Seth Allcorn, "The Narcissistic Manager," Su-pervisory Management, December 1989, pp.29-32.

4. Howard Figler, "Help for the Obnoxious,Meek, and Ugly," Managing Your Career (pub-lished by The Wall Street Journal), Fall 1987, p.39.

5. Morgan P. Slusher and Craig A. Anderson,"Belief Perseverance and Self-Defeating Behavi-or," in Curtis (ed.), Self-Defeating Behaviors, pp.12-13.

6. Case researched by Stephen D. O'Malley.

7. Case researched by Allen H. Bauxbaum.

8. Case adapted from Michael E. Cavanagh,"Personalities at Work," Personnel Journal,March 1985, p. 56.

9. Case researched by Dean S. Blodgett.

10. Pauline Rose Clance, The ImposterPhenomenon (Atlanta: Peachtree Publishers,Ltd., 1985); Joan C. Harvey, If I'm So Successful,Why Do I Feel Like Such a Fake? (New York:St. Martin's Press, 1985).

11. Janice Castro, "Fearing the Mask May Slip,"Time, August 12, 1985, p. 60.

Chapter 4

1. Theodore Kurtz, "Ten Reasons Why PeopleProcrastinate," Supervisory Management, April1990, pp. 1-2.

2. "Don't Procrastinate," Practical Supervision,January 1989, p. 3.

3. Neil Fiore, "How to Get Procrastinators Up toSpeed," Working Woman, March 1989, p. 32.

4. Case researched by Terry Hill.

5. Case researched by Diana Baker.

6. Karen S. Peterson, "Holding Grudges CanHold You Back," USA Weekend, October 18-20,1985, p. 29.

7. Morgan W. McCall, Jr., and Michael M. Lom-bardo, "What Makes a Top Executive?" Psycho-logy Today, February 1983, p. 28.

8. Case researched by Scott C. Gill.

Chapter 5

1. "The Downfall of a CEO," Business Week,February 16, 1987, pp. 77-79.

2. Ibid., p. 78.

3. Jay T. Knippen and Thad B. Green, "BuildingSelf-Confidence," Supervisory Management,August 1989, pp. 22-27.

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4. Wolf J. Rinke, "Maximizing ManagementPotential by Building Self-Esteem," Manage-ment Solutions, March 1988, p. 6.

5. Donnah Canavan, "Fear of Success," in Re-becca C. Curtis (ed.), Self-Defeating Behaviors(New York: Plenum Press, 1989), p. 166.

6. Case researched by Patricia L. Schofield.

7. Based on Carole Hyatt and Linda Gottlieb,When Smart People Fail: Rebuilding Yourselffor Success (New York: Penguin Books, 1988),pp. 185-87.

8. Adapted from Raymond L. Higgins and C. R.Snyder, "Excuses Gone Awry: An Analysis ofSelf-Defeating Excuses," in Curtis (ed.), Self-De-feating Behaviors, pp. 99-100.

9. Ibid., p. 101.

10. Howard Raiffa, The Art and Science of Nego-tiation (Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard UniversityPress, 1983).

11. Case researched by Kathleen Peart.

12. Albert J. Bernstein and Sydney Craft Rozen,Dinosaur Brains: Dealing with All Those Impos-sible People at Work (New York: John Wiley,1989).

13. Case researched by John K. James.

14. Bernstein and Rozen, Dinosaur Brains, pp.89-94.

15. Case researched by Marla C. Cwynar.

16. Case researched by Robert Moore.

Chapter 6

1. Manfred F. R. Kets de Vries, "Leaders WhoSelf-Destruct: The Causes and Cures," Organiz-ational Dynamics, Spring 1989, pp. 6-9.

2. Ibid., pp. 10-11.

3. Case researched by Jeffrey H. Clark.

4. Quotation from Carole Hyatt and Linda Got-tlieb, When Smart People Fail: Rebuilding Your-self for Success (New York: Penguin Books,1988), p. 125.

5. Case researched by Sheryl D. Towne.

6. Eric G. Flamholtz and Yvonne Randle, The In-ner Game of Management: How to Make theTransition to a Managerial Role (New York:AMACOM, 1987), pp. 117-18.

7. Ibid., pp. 131-32. This and the next two sec-tions borrow heavily from Flamholtz andRandle, The Inner Game.

8. Ibid., pp. 56-70.

9. Ibid., p. 67.

10. Ibid., p. 102.

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Chapter 7

1. Case researched by Wilma E. Wandersleben.

2. Stuart M. Schmidt and David Kipnis, "ThePerils of Persistence," Psychology Today,November 1987, pp. 32-34.

3. Case researched by Jean M. Scholl.

4. Case researched by Donald C. Buffum, Jr.

5. "Snap Back from a Blunder," ExecutiveStrategies, February 6, 1990, p. 1.

Chapter 8

1. This section of the chapter follows quiteclosely Post's "Self-Sabotage Among SuccessfulWomen," Psychotherapy in Private Practice 6,no. 3 (1988): 192-94.

2. Ibid., 199-204.

3. Facts as reported in, and paraphrased from,Jim Schater, "Daddy Dearest," Los AngelesTimes syndicated story, October 28, 1989.

4. Case researched by Christine B. Long.

5. Case researched by Roberta Fulton.

Chapter 9

1. Reported by Lori Ioannou, "Kick the FailureHabit," Success, April 1990, p. 46.

2. Michael E. Cavanagh, "Myths SurroundingAlcoholism," Personnel Journal, February 1990,p. 112.

3. Quoted by Jeffrey Lynn Speller, Executive inCrisis (New York: John Wiley, 1989), p. 4.

4. Cavanagh, "Myths Surrounding Alcoholism,"p. 118.

5. Based on information in Andrew J. DuBrinand R. Duane Ireland, Management and Organ-ization (Cincinnati: South-Western PublishingCo., 1989), p. 430.

6. Michael E. Cavanagh, "The Dilemma of LegalDrug Abuse," Personnel Journal, March 1990,p. 124.

7. Based on the facts from two cases presented inCavanagh, "Dilemma of Legal Drug Abuse."

8. Constance Holden, "Against All Odds," Psy-chology Today, December 1985, p. 33.

9. Analysis by Henry Lesieur, cited in "The 'PeteRose Syndrome': Managing a Compulsive Gam-bler," Personal Report for the Executive,September 15, 1989, p. 2.

10. Alexander P. Blaszczynski, "A Winning Bet:Treatment for Compulsive Gambling," Psycho-logy Today, December 1985, p. 42.

11. Case researched by Renée Rhodey.

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Chapter 10

1. Case researched by Coleen M. Dugan.

2. Case researched by Geoffrey Reynolds.

3. Case researched by Kimberly A. Conti.

4. Case researched by Anne Gravenstede.

5. Case researched by Thomas G. Strauss.

6. Case researched by Daniel M. O'Connell.

7. Many of these guidelines are from GloriaWelles, "Love in the Office," USA Weekend,April 24-26, 1987, p. 10.

8. David E. Terpstra, "Who Gets Sexually Har-rassed?" Personnel Administrator, March 1989,p. 85.

Chapter 11

1. Don Cole, Professional Suicide or Organiza-tional Murder? 2d ed. (Cleveland, OH: The Or-ganization Development Institute, 1989), p. xi.

2. Ibid.

3. Adapted from Cole, p. 76.

4. Adapted from Don Cole, "ProfessionalSuicide or Organizational Murder?" Unpublishedarticle, 1989.

5. Larry A. Pace and Stanley J. Smits, "WhenManagers Are Substance Abusers," PersonnelJournal, July 1989, p. 70.

6. Based on Cole, Professional Suicide, pp.140-47.

Chapter 12

1. Robert Bell, Surviving the 10 Ordeals of theTakeover (New York: AMACOM, 1988), p. 123.

2. Donald W. Cole, Professional Suicide or Or-ganizational Murder?, 2d ed. (Cleveland, OH:The Organization Development Institute, 1989),p. 142.

3. Diane Swanbrow, "The Paradox of Happi-ness," Psychology Today, July/August 1989, p.38.

4. This material is based on Maury M. Breecher,"C'mon Smile!" Los Angeles Times, October 3,1982; and Swanbrow, "The Paradox of Happi-ness."

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Index

A

absenteeism and lateness, 67-70

abuse of power, 103-105

addictions, 165-184

alcohol abuse, 168-172

Allcorn, Seth, 38

anger and cynicism, 65-77

attention seeking, 48-50

B

Bennett, Dudley, 14, 15

bizarre and scandalous actions:

blatant sexual harassment, 197-198

drunkenness during command performance,190-191

expropriation of resources, 188-190

hyperactivity in the office, 192-193

indiscreet office romance, 195-197

physical violence, 199-200

reckless lifestyle, 193-195

snooping in the office, 200-201

violent temper tantrums, 185-188

blaming others for own problems, 219-220

Boesky, Ivan, 119

Bricker, William H., 78

bridge burning, 141-142

bypassing boss, 124-125

C

career-choking addictions:

alcohol abuse, 168-172

compulsive gambling, 177-179

compulsive sex, 182-184

compulsive spending, 179-182

crisis-oriented management, 211-213

drug abuse, 173-174

eating disorders, 174-177

failure addiction, 166-168

career homicide by organizations:


innovative thinking suppression, 209-211

leaving people on their own, 203-204

negative feedback, 204-205

prevention of, 214-216

pursuit of conflicting goals, 207-209

recruitment of outsiders, 213-214

unspoken rules, 206-207

Challenger explosion, 42

challenging boss's judgment, 127-129

choking under pressure, 15-17

Cole, Don, 202

commitment breaking, 18-20

compensation defense, 44-46

compulsive gambling, 177-179

compulsive sex, 182-184

compulsive spending, 179-182

conflicting goals, 207-209

confrontation avoidance, 147

credentials problem, 221-222


criticizing boss publicly, 126-127

D

Daddy Track, 154-155

deception and lying, 60-62

delegation problems, 107-111

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delegation suggestions, 110-111

denial, overcoming, 221-222

disloyalty display, 129-131

dress code resistance, 140-141

drinking problem quiz, 171-172

drug abuse, 173-174

drunkenness on the job, 190-191

E

eating disorders, 174-177

emotional immaturity, 39-41

emotional support, 83-84

employee assistance programs, 226

ethical zealot, 136-138

excuse making, 85-88

executive self-sabotage:

abuses of power, 103-105

delegation problems, 107-111

failure to groom a successor, 111-112

failure to size up climate, 121-122

Godparent executive style, 114-116

greed, gluttony, and avarice, 119-121

guilt feelings about success, 101

insensitivity to people, 105-107

Jekyll and Hyde personality, 116-119

over- and underutilization, 107-111

vacillation over major decisions, 112-114

expropriation of resources, 188-190

F

failure addiction, 166-168

fate analysis, 31-32

fear of success, 81-84

feedback

attention seeking and, 48-50

bizarre behavior and, 192-193

changing script and, 220-221

environment sensing and, 143

executive self-sabotage and, 103

on management style, 72-74

negative, 204-205

and organizational help, 225

for paranoid people, 53-54

procrastination and, 59-60

self-defeating beliefs and, 73-74

speech patterns and, 64-65

team play and, 84-85

friendship craving, 27-29

G

goals and happiness, 225-230

Godparent executive style, 114-116

greed, gluttony, and avarice, 119-121

grooming a successor, 111-112

guilt feelings about success, 101

H

happiness as goal, 228-230

Hart, Gary, xiii

hidden barriers

homosexual lifestyle flaunting, 162-164

human resources professional role, 226-227

measurement of, 1-12

overcoming own, 9-12

see also self-sabotage

hyperactivity, 192-193

I

image and self-sabotage, 63-65

imposter complex, 51-53

innovative thinking suppression, 209-211

insensitivity to people, 72-74, 105-107

isolation of leaders, 101

J

jealousy script, 22-23

Jekyll and Hyde personality, 116-119

L

loser script, 14-15

M

machismo and self-sabotage, 155-157

master plan and removing barriers:

employee assistance program, 226

feedback solicitation, 220-221

happiness as a goal, 228-230

having fun, 230

help from the organization, 225

human resources professional consultation,226-227

overcoming denial, 221-222

positive changes in life, 222-223

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script examination and changing, 218-219

self-enhancing behavior, 227-228

stop blaming others, 219-220

visualization technique, 227-228

Maugham, W. Somerset, 52

mid-life crisis, 54-56

Milken, Michael, 119

modesty, excessive, 146-147

N

narcissism, 38-39

naysaying, 131-133

negative self-beliefs, 148-149

negative self-talk, 79-81

negotiation refusal, 88-90

O

obsolescence of knowledge or skills, 91-93

office romance, indiscreet, 195-197

overcommitment, 145-146

overdelegation and self-sabotage, 109-110

P

paranoia, 53-54

physical violence, 199-200

political blunders:

balking at revising work, 138-140

being a pest, 133-135

blunder patching, 142-143

bridge burning, 141-142

bypassing boss, 124-125

challenging boss's judgment, 127-129

criticizing boss publicly, 126-127

declining top management offer, 135-136

disloyalty displays, 129-131

dress code resistance, 140-141

ethical zealot, 136-138

naysaying, 131-133

whistleblowing, 138

positive self-talk, 80-81

power obsession, 77-79

primitive thinking patterns, 93-96

prioritizing failure, 145-146

procrastination

career women and, 146

overcoming problem, 59-60

reasons for, 58-59

psychological hazards of executives, 100-103

R

reckless lifestyle, 193-195

revenge, 46-48

through poor performance, 97-98

rework, refusal to, 138-140

running away from problems, 25-27

S

sacrificing own needs, 147-148

script changing, 30-33

analyzing fate in, 32

biographical sketch and, 32

comfort level and, 54

early life roles and, 32

family tree and, 31

parents and, 32

self-questions for, 31-32

scripts and self-sabotage:

biting hand that feeds you, 29-30

changing of, 30-33

commitment breaker, 18-20

friendship at all costs, 27-29

irresistible impulse, 24-25

jealous person, 22-23

loser, 14-30

running away from problems, 25-27

short attention span, 17-18

solo performer, 20-22

winner vs. loser, 31

self-acceptance for women, 150

self-criticism, 145

self-defeating behavior

beliefs and, 41-43

insight into, 37-38

personality type, 34-38

self-sabotage and, 4

self-destructive behavior

drug trafficking and, 43-44

vs. self-sabotage, 4

self-enhancing behavior, 227-228

self-esteem and self-sabotage, 182

Page 240

self-imposed limitations, 81

self-righteous values, 70-71

self-sabotage

bizarre and scandalous actions as, 185-201

career-choking addictions and, 165-184

career homicide and, 202-216

causes of, 34-56, 77-99

executive, 100-122

life scripts and, 13-33

master plan for overcoming, 217-230

meaning of, xi-xii

measuring own tendencies, 4-8

political blunders and, 123-143

sex roles and, 144-164

subtle forms, 77-99

symptoms, of, xi

test for, 5-8

self-sabotage causes (traps):

attention seeking, 35, 48-50

compensation tactic, 35

emotional immaturity, 35, 39-41

feelings of inadequacy, 35, 44-46

imposter complex, 35, 51-53

mid-life crisis, 35, 54-56

narcissism, 35, 38-39

overcommitment, 145-146

paranoia, 35, 53-54

revenge, 35, 46-48

self-defeating beliefs, 41-43

self-defeating personality, 34-38

thrill seeking, 35, 50-51

unrealistic expectations, 35, 43-44

self-sabotage forms and types:

absenteeism and lateness, 67-70

anger and cynicism, 65-67

crossing swords with powerful people, 74-76

deception and lying, 60-62

downward spiral, 98-99

drifting into obsolescence, 91-93

emotional support getting, 83-84

excessive youth talk, 64-65

excuse making, 85-88

failure to empathize, 90-91

fear of success, 81-84

insensitivity to people, 72-74

negative self-talk, 79-81

positive self-talk cure, 80-81

power obsession, 77-79

primitive thinking patterns, 93-96

procrastination, 57-60

refusal to negotiate, 88-90

revenge through poor performance, 97-98

self-imposed crippling workload, 96-97

self-imposed limitations, 81

self-righteous values, 70-71

stealing and pilfering, 62-63

team play problem, 84-85

unprofessional image, 63-64

sex-role constraints, 149

sex-roles and self-sabotage, 144-164

asserting own demands, 149-150

challenging negative self-beliefs, 148-149

confrontation avoidance, 147

Daddy Track, 154-155

excessive modesty, 146-147

failure to prioritize, 145-146

female success ceilings, 144-150

flaunting homosexual lifestyle, 162-164

male success ceilings, 150-155

new-found passion, 151-153

procrastination, 146

putting other's needs first, 147-148

self-acceptance, 150

self-criticalness and perfectionism, 145

sex-role constraints, 149

traps for career women, 145-148

ultrafemininity, 157-160

ultrafeminism, 160-162

sexual harassment, 197-198

snooping in office, 200-201

solo performer, 20-22

stealing and pilfering, 62-63

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