How to deal with dog boredom, anger and more….

ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES CAESAR A DULL DOG

Meet CAESAR...

In pic : ANGRY AT BEING TIED UP BECAUSE THE ELECTRICIAN REFUSED TO COME IN

My Gorgeous Lab…

In pic: HAPPY AFTER CHASING THE ELECTRICIAN OUT OF THE HOUSE WHILST MAKING HIM CRY LIKE A GIRL

Sadly, there was one problem we had to deal with…

In pic : SAD AS BOTH HIS ADOPTED PARENTS (yes he adopted my sister and I) WERE LEAVING TO WORK

He just got sadder and sadder…

In pic : BORED OUT OF HIS DOG-WITS

How to have a happy pooch:

stay at home.. Don’t work – tempting.. But not feasible

get him a girlfriend – 2 dogs + empty home=messy house = 2 angry sisters

get him a brother from another mother– 2 male dogs + empty home = tornado-hit house = 2 weeping sisters

Take him to work – very tempting.. Might get fired though Leave him in the garden unsupervised – guaranteed star-wars-like

destruction Leave him at the neighbours’ – might have to pay for mental and

property damage Send him to obedience school – been there .. Done that.. Didn’t

work! Rent him out during the day – might breed confusion as to who his

real parents are Put him up for adoption –NOT AN OPTION.. I repeat…NOT AN

OPTION Leave him with the fishy-looking guards at the apartment next

door – there might be a chance of him making it to the Most Wanted list

Leave him with the cutie next door – he might move to the moon Change jobs for something more flexible– could be an option Tie him up and leave a doggie treat an inch away from him –

entertained not tormented! Pay my maid extra to take care of him – she might pay us double

that to take the job back

That is when we made this list…items in blue could be tried in varying levels…

How to have a happy pooch: (cont..d) Leave him with my best friend – has humping issues with her leg Leave him with my sister’s best friend – dog-hair allergy. Period. Leave him with my dad – we might be put up for adoption… on e-bay!!! Leave him at the pound during the day – yeah… right… Leave him at the circus during the day – risk of him treating our home like a

circus Buy him a circus so he can be entertained - Double ‘yeah… right…’ Train him to entertain himself – might win a Nobel prize for this.. hmmm Leave him with the ELECTRICIAN – tempting… but morally wrong Tie him up and leave him with his pedigree – refer to the objective of this

list Try working from home as much as possible – could be an option Leave him at home with all the doggie toys and unlimited supply of

pedigree - messy house + fat dog = bankruptcy!! send him to rehab after leaving him at home all-day – might pay for further

mental damage of other dogs and rehab owner leave him with the neighbourhood dog-walker – might be sold on the dog

black-market Train him to entertain himself – still thinking about this… hmmm Send him on a world tour – Mayan prediction might come true Pay a producer to star him in his next movie – read ‘maid’ suggestion Teach him to read – <Silence> Teach him to knit - <more silence>

How to have a happy pooch: (cont..d) Leave him at the beach– Salt pee water anyone?? Leave him with the local volleyball team – might get confused with the ‘fetch’

concept Leave him alone with my sister for a week– How much would I fetch on e-bay??? Leave him with my cook– I might have to be fed through a pipe for the rest of my

life Leave him at the mall during the day – risk of running them into a food scarcity Buy him a mall so he can be entertained – Triple ‘yeah… right…’ Train him to hunt – Wait a minute…. Leave him with my boss– Might be declared dead… Tie him up and leave him with his toys– there might not be any toys left Try coming home early – could be an option Leave him at home with all the neighbourhood dogs – Funny!!... NOT! Leave him at the mayor’s office – Might be accused of being in the pay of the

mayor’s opponent leave him with the neighbourhood chemist– might come home to a hippie-talking

dog Train him to roll-over the whole day – who says my dog is dumb?? Send him on a world tour with his girlfriend– Mayan prediction might come true

twice over Pay a dog trainer to train him all day – might leave his profession Teach him to write– <Silence> Teach him to howl- might cause a deafness epidemic Make your fat friend do her daily dance routine in front of your dog – might have

to send my poor baby to the dog psychiatrist

How to have a happy pooch: (cont..d) Leave him with the patients at my sister’s clinic– Umm.. Not sure that is

allowed Leave him at the dog parlour – they charge by the hour Leave him with my lawyer– we might be declared a liability to the nation in a

court of law Leave him in Dubai – might be sued for pee adulterated petrol Leave him with the Taliban– might increase the number of suicide bombers Leave him – not in this lifetime! Train him to entertain himself –hmmm… Leave him at the temple– prayer might get a new meaning Teach him to beg – plan might get backfired… we might be the victims Try working from home everyday– might be couriered my pink-slip Leave him at home with all the doggie toys and unlimited supply of pedigree -

not funny! send him as part of the ‘therapy through pets’ program – wait.. Isn’t this

morally wrong? leave him with the neighbourhood vigilante group– might lead them to the

wrong person Train him to entertain himself – Whom am I kidding?? Teach him to catch Fish – He might eat them too Train him to be a navy seal– Might help raid the kitchen Teach him to read – <Still … Silence> Enroll him in a creativity course – Might be the accidental genius everyone is

looking for.. Just kidding!!

How to have a happy pooch: (cont..d) Leave work.. Enroll in a college which is pet-friendly– Umm.. Not sure if

there is such a college Enroll him in a crazy dog group – can’t risk more craziness Leave him with my aunts– we might be disowned… again Leave him with a dog photographer – he might call it quits Leave him with the army– this might end all discreet, covert ops Train him to clean the house – do I really NOT know Caesar?? Leave him with a cat– Another species might go extinct Leave him with a bird– The bird would rather be caged! Try emotionally blackmailing my boss into giving me work-from-home-

everyday– might be sent home for good Leave him at home with a stranger- might come back to an empty house send him as part of the ‘therapy for pets’ program – who the hell told my

dog needs therapy?? Send him to a hula hoop class – the teacher might build a hula hoop

fortress around her Tie a bone to his tail to keep him busy all day– sooooo tempting Send him to a weight loss program – He might come home and eat us up Leave him at a tennis court - Might be successful in making tennis a lost

sport Enroll him in a cooking class – Might eat up the cook if told not to eat

everyone’s food

How to have a happy pooch: (cont..d) Teach him to woof-gossip over the phone– Expensive call rates these days Make him watch animal planet – Might bark his head off if he saw one of

his family on TV (read: wolves) Leave him with the street dogs – traumatic for those poor dogs Hypnotize him and make him believe that he is happy - might be put into

jail for animal testing Leave him with the guard at the nearby ATM – cemented in the Most

Wanted list forever Let him free in the nearby park – Causalities Make him watch Jersey Shore – therapy anyone?? Make him watch bad movies – still howling… Send him to dance classes – do I really need my dog to be more

energetic?? Have an automatic stereo system which has motion sensors which will

produce a barking sound every time my dog passes it – mental note: no need for more barking

Load teddy bears everywhere in the house – more cleaning.. Besides .. expensive??

Treasure hunt – might eat everything in sight out of the frustration Leave him with a baby – might slip with all the pee Make him watch obedience videos while I’m at work – might pounce on me

by surprise to kill me Teach him to code - <Silence>

THE END