1

All Rights Reserved.

Copyright © James Scott and theguymagnet.com

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any formor by any means, electrical or mechanical, including photocopyingand recording, or by any information storage or retrieval system

without permission in writing from the author.

Disclaimer:

This book is written for informational purposes only. The author hasmade every effort to make sure the information is complete and

accurate. All attempts have been made to verify information at thetime of this publication and the authors do not assume any

responsibility for errors, omissions, or other interpretations of thesubject matter. The publisher and author shall have neither liabilitynor responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any loss ordamage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by this

book.

2

A Gentle Warning

Now before we break into this, I’ve got to issue a mild warning. The things I’m going to share with you in this guide are not to be taken lightly – these are serious psychological tactics that will completely rewire the influence that you have on your man’s thoughts and actions.

Knowing just how powerful what I’m going to share with you is,I cannot advise that you go forward without anything less than the highest degree of responsibility.

Who this guide is(not) for

There are many different kinds of women that this guide can help, but the following types of women are not included:

-Women looking to take advantage of men for their own benefit or amusement, at his expense

-Women with a stalking habit

-Women who have an incurable love of mind games

-Women who are interested in trapping a man

-Women who are looking to trick a man into staying in a relationship

-Women who are out for revenge

If you or any other woman is primarily driven to follow this guide due to any combination of the above motivations, then this guide is not the answer.

3

What I’ve provided here is a way to apply simple psychological insight to the effect of constructively and harmlessly enhancing your relationship – it is not a weapon, a revenge plan, a stalking tactic or a deceptive trick. There will be no celebration of underhanded methods for amusing oneself at a man’s expense here.

The enlightened woman knows that all relationships, no matter how cohesive, are a constant exercise in checks and balances. In every commitment between a man and woman, there exists a constant power differential. The management of the power differential determines just about every aspect of the relationship’s power and longevity.

This guide was created for women who want to know to most effectively maintain the balance of power in the relationship comfortably tipped in their favor. If you’re interested in ensuringthat you don’t get taken advantage of, then there are some great things in store for you in the following pages.

You’ll be pleased to know that these methods are proven pathways to positive results – emphasis on positive. This is about the mitigation of negative energy, and an introduction to generating constant positivity. I do not encourage going forwardwith any negative intentions, especially any that may entertain the prospect of being manipulative.

These tactics are meant to reinforce the qualities within you that create a wholesome feeling of self-worth, but they were not created with the intention of making you feel better than anyone. The kind of self-esteem that can lift you up without tearing others down is true self-esteem – anything else is reallynothing more than insecurity.

What I’m offering here is an opportunity to employ one the bestrelationship strategies in the world for subtle, everyday use. This isn’t just about getting everything that you want, this is anexercise in learning how to get what it is that you deserve –

4

and not only that, but how to get what you deserve in the most effective way that you can.

Now if you feel like your frame of mind is in line with what I’ve established as appropriate for the use of this guide, then it’s time to get to the good stuff.

The Ego to be your Hero

It would be extraordinarily hard to name anything that men protect more fiercely than the ego driving them every day. Evenif he doesn’t say anything about it, you can bet that he secretly possesses a will to be your hero.

We all know about the phenomenon with men and their phobia of asking for directions – this is actually directly related to what motivates many of them to be good boyfriends, fathers, husbands, sons, team players and leaders.

In a man’s world, there is an immense degree of importance placed upon being able to subsist without any outside help. For a lot of men, the ability to take care of themselves without being aided is actually a complete gauge of what it means to bea man – this is why so many are so desperately driven to become strong.

Because they see independence and strength as interchangeable words, having to ask for directions slightly jeopardizes their sense of being. Even if it becomes counterproductive, being able to complete the tasks independently is almost more important to them than completing the tasks at all.

Ironically, the man’s feverish drive to be strong and self-driven can actually be one of the main things contributing to how easily he can be influenced.

The man pursues feelings and accomplishments that feed his

5

ego, and makes a conscious attempt to avoid conversations or actions that belittle his ego. He will actively resist being told what to do what you desire, but if your desire takes the form of something that actually isn’t an order, then it’s an entirely different story altogether.

The key here is to give the man an incentive that is conducive to fortifying his ego, while still being able to practically have him cooperate with you. The satiation of the ego is like opium for the man, and so while you are happy with the satisfaction ofyour goal, he will be happy simply with his refreshing feeling of accomplishment.

The man’s drive to stay in control of things is one of the reasons why so many of them are immensely apprehensive of getting into a relationship in the very first place.

The feeling of having to place some of their peace of mind at the mercy of another person invites them to a certain vulnerability concerning things they cannot directly control. It ishighly unlikely that they will directly discuss how much this scares them at times, but you’re probably familiar with a man at least expressing distaste for it.

As I said before, the balance of power permeates just about everything concerning the relationship, and so fittingly, the mancan unconsciously sense this before the relationship even begins. His nightmare is being romantically and legally bound toa person who actively denies him the right to being able to control how he runs his life.

When you go up against a man’s will to protect his sense of control, you’ve got to the play the game with inverted controls. While a lot of women will feel that the answer is to push, you’vegot to get comfortable with the idea of pullingback – it may sound odd, but this can actually being a profound way of moving forward even faster.

6

The ego may be strong, but it’s own impetus can be used against the person that it belongs to – your goal here is not to use anything against your man, but you can definitely employ an inoffensive method that allows you to put his ego on your side.

One of the first steps in this process is to see to it that you let your own ego die – this relates to the prospect of pulling back in order to move forward. You must not allow any disagreementto escalate into an active battle of wills.

If you are able to let go of your ego, you will be able to employ one of the most powerful methods that I’m going to share with you: tickling his ego.

Don’t let the fact that you’re tickling his ego make you feel like you’re conceding defeat –in reality, what you’re actually doing extremely conducive to getting closer to your aims.

Essentially, what you’re going to be doing is shrouding what youwant him to do with an illusory sensation of control. He’ll be thinking that he’s doing something that he came to deciding all on his own, but in reality, it will have actually been you that led him there.

In order to use his illusion of control to your advantage, you’re going to have to do what you can to make him feel like he’s calling the final shot – this is why it’s so important to put your own ego away before you try this. A lot of women fail at the using the man’s ego to their advantage due to the fact that they’re simply too proud to try doing it.

If you let yourself be too proud to stroke a man’s ego a bit, then you’ll really be doing the same thing that men are when they’re too proud to ask for directions – holding yourself back from potentially expedited success for nothing more than the sense of pride.

7

Pride is just something we construct in our mind with the illusion of having power over our universes, butresults are very much real. Pride isn’t destructive all on it’s own, and if you channel in it this fashion, you can actually use it to contribute towards the enrichment of your man’s state of being altogether.

Let’s just take a look at a quick example that can really put this in clearer perspective:

When you were a child, did you ever occasionally feel like doingthe dishes without being told? Did you ever have a parent or guardian tell you to do the dishes when you were just seconds away from doing it all on your own? If this happened to you, do you remember just how much less you wanted to do the dishes after you were told?

When men grow up, they still have that complex that makes them loathe the idea of doing anything that implies the belittlement of their sense of autonomy – even if it was something that they may have actually done completely of theirown accord anyway.

What you’re essentially doing here is allowing your man to washthe proverbial dishes, and getting him to do it faster without telling him to and having him completely reject the idea altogether.

A grown man’s power to reject doing something he feels takes away his independence is far greater than a child annoyed at being told to do chores, and so it is even more important to be strategic in this area.

Once he thinks that he’s doing something completely because he wants to, and nothing else, he’ll be ready to do it without hesitation.

Imagine if instead of hearing their parent tell them to do the dishes right before they were about to begin the task, a child

8

simply heard their parent compliment them. Maybe their parentcould say something about their recent accomplishment at school or at practice, and after that, mention the dishes sitting in the sink. What do you think would happen?

For one, the child’s sense of self-esteem is immediately going torises. Their feeling of closeness to their parent is going to be enriched with the unprompted compliment.

Since they were planning to do the dishes in the first place, the parent’s compliment being juxtaposed to a neutral comment about the dishes will encourage them to get those dishes done even faster. While doing the dishes, they might be anticipating their parent complimenting them again for being so proactive and responsible.

This is exactly what I’m suggesting you do when it comes to tickling your man’s ego. Instead of trying to fight him when youwant him to do something, you need to keep your mind open tothe possibility that he may have very well been thinking of doing it all along – you never know, men can definitely surprise you!

Understanding that he just might be closer to where you want him to be than you think, you should be aiming to give a gentleand tactful nudge in right direction. All that you’re doing to be doing here is enriching his sense of self, and juxtaposing that compliment with something that has to do with what you want to get done.

Why do you think it is that so many people place so much importance on a political leader’s spouse? It’s all about the pillow talk. The man may have all kinds of advisors and councilsto influence him during the day, but no one will be as close to him for as much of an extended period of time as the woman he’s in bed with at night.

When they’re together in their most private moments, the first

9

lady has a profound power to affect the way that he acts in a way that no other person really can.

If she has any nefarious ideas about how the direction of the country’s leadership could fit her interests, she could very well use the power of suggestion to affect how her husband, the leader, chooses to do things – isn’t that a scary and yet amazing thing?

You, of course, aren’t looking to undercut your man like a sinister first lady. All that you’re looking to do here is actively raise your man’s enthusiasm, esteem, and speed in completing a task under the impression that it will feed his sense of self worth to a greater extent – the only catch is that he won’t knowthat you’ve orchestrated it.

Deep down, the man who is committed to you for legitimate feelings is constantly aiming to be your hero – don’t forget that.Even if he sees different means to the same ends that you perceive, at the end of the day, he does factor in what your impression of him is.

Show that you’re already at the position of favoring him as a worthy man, and he’ll be move closer to the position of doing something that you want him to – if you’re strategic about how closely together you place the compliment and the notion of thetask in his head, he will always do what you want.

In order to make this entire process just a bit easier to understand and execute, I’ve broken the whole thing down into easily-followed steps.

The process, broken down

Step One – Grant him the illusion of power

10

You have to make him feel like he’s got the control in the equation. It may feel a little bit annoying at first, but when you see how effective it is, you’ll be all the more closer to understanding just how worthwhile it all really is.

In order to give him the illusion of power that’s going to edge the game further in your favor, you’ve first got to see to it that you give high-quality compliments. A high-quality compliment is, above all things, a believable compliment. Even if your man doesn’t have razor-sharp intuition, just about everybody can sense when they’re being patronized.

If your man feels like your compliments aren’t genuine, then he’ll get the sense he’s being patronized – when this happens, you assuredly won’t get the desired effect of stroking his ego. Ifanything, giving a false compliment will likely hurt your man’s ego more than it actually helps it. Few things will turn him off more than patronization.

Step Two –Say something positive about his actions

The best way to come up with a quality compliment is to make sure that you don’t look like you’re fishing for the compliment –in order to do this, you’re best off making sure that you compliment him on something that is objective and easily observable.

The actions that a man takes are incredibly good opportunities for high-quality compliments, if they’re legitimately good actions. Saying something positive about something that he hasdone won’t force you to come up with something out of the bluethat sounds like it was put together out of a lack of better ideas.

11

In order to ensure that you’re giving a compliment that’s actually substantial, you need to see to it that you’re paying attention to everything that your man does. You don’t have to relentlessly stalk your man, but it may not hurt to make an effort at taking note of what he does around the house.

Complimenting your man on his actions will not only empower your ability to make cooperation-fostering compliments better, but it will also reassure him with the fact that someone appreciates the things that he does in a way that he may not believe everyone else appreciates.

Step Three – Suggest your desire with a positive expectation

Step three is the most important part of this entire process, andit hinges upon your ability to fuse your powers of patience and forwardness. After you’ve illustrated that you appreciate something he does, the next step is to see to it that he draws a mental bridge between the good feelings drawn from your compliment and what you want to happen.

It isn’t that you’re going to just outright tell him that you expect him to do something that you want – that would just defeat the entire process. What you’re going to do here is makesure that he understands exactly what kind of person you expect him to be, which will be a highly positive image.

Here’s the thing – you’re not going to explicitly tell him that youexpect him to be a certain kind of person, either. What you’re actually going to be doing here is making it so that he gets the idea of what kind of person you think he can be in your mind. You’re communicating it to him effectively, but at the same time, you are not ordering him.

12

This is where the power of the high-quality compliment of his actions plays in. Since you’ve made a point of complimenting him on something that he’s done, the positive expectation that you suggest to him will be more likely to fall in-line with things that he is actually likely to perform as a person.

When your compliment is delivered in this fashion, it will illustrate not only that you have a positive expectation of him, but that you also do give an iota of a damn about his potential and power to be a self-sufficient man – this will feed the part ofhim that is likely the reason why he gets out of bed in the morning.

When he understands that you appreciate him for all that he is capable of, he’ll be far more motivated to do things that he maynot even know fall perfectly in line with both what he aspires to be and what you want him to do.

Let’s just take a look at a quick example to illustrate how you should go about this:

“Tom, I really appreciate the fact that you are a man of your word and always deliver on your promises. Dependability is one quality I really love in a guy. I knowyou are someone who will go out of his way to deliver onhis promise and will never disappoint anyone.”

With this single compliment, you’ve delivered a lot of very positive things, very effectively – I’m now going to break down what each of those things actually are.

1. His ego has been indirectly stimulated

Of all things, it is exceedingly important that we take note of

13

the qualitative difference between what is the direct stimulationof the ego and what is indirect stimulation of the ego – in the context of this situation, the latter is definitely better than the former.

Because you’re indirectly stimulating his ego, you’re not running the risk of making it seem like you’re trying to manipulate it him by sweet-talking him – not only is that notwhat you’re looking to do here, but it’s probably the worst-case scenario.

Complimenting him on being a man of his word, in the example above, communicates that the woman giving the compliment is the kind of person who sees honesty as a legitimate value – thiswill mitigate that chance that he’ll think the compliment isn’t genuine.

2. He’ll feel like a hero

When you give your man a compliment like this, you don’t just make him feel good – you make him feel exclusive too. When a man feels exclusive, he gets the sense that you see the time you spend with him a valuable time.

Few things kill relationships faster than either partner getting the sense that the things they do and the time they spend with their partner aren’t being appreciated, and this will decisively move things in the opposite direction for you and your partner.

Before you even decide that you want your man to do something for you, you have to have come to the decision at some point that the things he is capable of are valuable in someway, shape, form or fashion. If you didn’t think that your man’s capabilities had any kind of inherent value, then you never would have reached out to him!

14

The message that you appreciate him for what he is capable of performing as a person will be one of the most honest messages that you can deliver to him in the world. Ordering him to do something, on the contrary, just corrupts the truth. A demand shows that the things he can do are important to you, but not in the right way at all.

3. The positive expectation summons ambition

In a way, you might even be able to say that this is like a way that you can actually create positive pressure. It’s normally not a very good thing to load your man up with too many expectations, but in the example above, saying that you know he’ll never disappoint you is a harmless expression of how you interpret his character.

When he knows that you don’t expect him to be an undependable jerk, then it will put any possible insecurities he has about your care for him to bed. He’ll feel that he’s got a legitimate status to live up to when it comes to delivering on hispromises, but he won’t feel like you’ve slammed him with the job against his will.

When you show that you see him as the kind of person that isn’t likely to fall through on something he puts his mind to, he’ll be imbued with all of the kinds of psychological triggers that a lot of women seek to encourage when they tell their menwhat to do.

When you deliver your expectation in this way, he’s going to follow through in a way that makes him want to live up to something that he’ll feel he was always meant to be, in some way, shape, or form. Since you’re complimenting him on something that he’s done, there won’t be any denying that he’s capable of living up to the expectation.

15

The issue with a lot of the expectations that many women set for their men is that those expectations, by default, are just wildly impractical to begin with. You wouldn’t believe just how insane some of the expectations that the women who have emailed me have held their men to, under the impression that those expectations were completely mundane.

Indirectly communicating to him that you expect him to embody the qualities indicated by his actions will show him thatyou have natural expectations and not irrationally demanding ones.

Essentially, he’ll be thinking:

“She thinks so highly of me! I’d better do my best not to screw this up if I can help it!”

This combination of positive empowerment, fortified self-esteem, self-advocacy and urgency will produce the kind of momentum within him that an employer dreams of getting fromtheir employees. Without even uttering a single command, you will have urged him into a state that optimizes the likelihood of him following through.

The next time that he promises you that he does something, you can bet that he’ll be thinking of the times that you’ve given him legitimate compliments on his capabilities. He’ll be unable to consider the prospect of doing something for you without, consciously or unconsciously, associating those thoughts with your high opinion of him.

Even when he isn’t doing something that’s directly related to following through on a promise to you, he’ll likely be exposed tothings over the course of his day that remind him of what he said that he was going to do for you.

16

When he gets to thinking about what kind of person that you perceive him as, it will permeate just about every moment he goes through that demands he exercise some initiative and commitment to the task at hand. While there may be a little bit of pressure, it will also function as a form of positive reinforcement.

There’s a big difference between a form of positive encouragement, and an irrational expectation of someone. When an expectation is plainly irrational, it will affect the person that it’s put upon in the kind of fashion that’s very similar to how an unprompted command affects a person – it will spur them to instinctual resistance.

If you can successfully pull off this kind of encouragement, thenthe compliments you give will be like permanent marks that serve to benefit you and your partner for a very long time – they will stick out strongly amongst all of the other little innocuous little conversations and happenings that he experiences over the course of his week.

You won’t have to constantly give your man all of these compliments in order to see them work for you in the way that I’m describing here. If you give too many of them, then what may happen is that those compliments actually work against you – even if they’re high-quality and genuine, you can definitely overdo it.

Make the times that you genuinely compliment him more meaningful by trying not to lay it on too thick – this is the reason why I’ve made a point of making sure that the subjects of your compliments be things that he actually has done or saidin the past, which spares you the trouble of having to make things up or compensate for quality with quantity.

Making sure that you consciously keep a limit on how often you compliment him will ensure that the times that you do compliment him make a much more powerful impression. He

17

won’t be so used to you complimenting him that he’s less affected by the times that you actually choose to do it.

You really shouldn’t even be surprised in the slightest if he starts to do things that completely catch you off-guard in a good way, even when you already expect him to follow through on what he promises to do.

We’ve already gone over how so many men will completely move mountains to preserve the strength of their egos, so it’s only natural that this technique works as well as it does.

Here’s the first scenario that we can cover in order to get a grip on just how easily you can achieve what you’re after by taking the tactful steps to empower your man’s ego in a positive way:

Scenario #1 – Let’s say you want him to be honest about everything. Say the following to him –

“Tom, I am glad that you aren’t like most other guys and you are always honest about everything. Such guys are very rare to find nowadays. I know you are someone who will never lie about anything.”

When you make the point to emphasize that you’re glad he isn’tlike every other guy, you’re reinforcing what we talked about earlier in terms of seeing to it that he feels like a legitimate hero.

Making a point to talk about how other men don’t live up to something, and how much it bothers, illustrates that you’re withhim because of the fact that he doesn’t embody those qualities.Without the presence of the compliment itself, you’re already giving an affectionate stroke to his ego.

Whenever he feels like he has something serious that he could

18

potentially tell you, he’ll have to associate it with the moment when you expressed how much that you said you value the fact that he tells the truth.

The reason that white lies happen as much as they do is because of the liar’s assumption that there’s just not a great deal of gravity in the situation as long as you don’t ever actuallyfind out about the lie they told.

By indirectly telling him that you expect him to be honest with you, with a compliment, you will be ensuring that there’s no way he’ll feel like he can justify keeping the truth from you by assuming that the dishonesty itself doesn’t matter – he’ll be forced to associate the concept of dishonesty with a violation of your belief in him.

Scenario #2 – Let’s say you want him to take you seriously after the first few dates. Say the following –

“Tom, you are probably the only guy I know who doesn’t play mind games with a woman just to get into her pants. You are one of those rare guys who are genuine. Iknow you aren’t someone who will use a woman just for his personal pleasure.”

This second scenario illustrates a perfect assertion of your respect and worldliness. Not only does it positively deliver a message of your expectation of him to be honest, but it can also be an effective counter to men who believe that you don’t know how pickup artists operate.

Expressing your appreciation for the fact that he isn’t just usingyou for no other reason than sexual pleasure serves as an indication that you’re not the type of woman who’s completely complacent about a relationship with no deeper meaning.

Whenever he’s thinking about how to define you as a person, he’ll have to take the time to acknowledge the fact that you’re not the type who can just be played like a joke. Men may not explicitly say it all of the time, but as much as they might ogle women who look extremely promiscuous, they’ll also value

19

them a lot less as well.

Even if they don’t personally know the women who are putting everything up on display, they will get the impression that thesewomen are incredibly easy for whatever men they’re actually interested in – this will make them see the prospect of sex with these women as a highly accessible thing, which destroys any sense of exclusivity.

When you show that you aren’t going to be scooped up and tossed aside without being any the wiser, you show that you’re the kind of woman that can actually understand the subtext andread between the lines. When he gets the sense that you aren’tjust going to settle for whatever you tell him at face value, he’s going to be more careful.

A man who understands the fact that you aren’t a fan of mind games won’t be as loose-lipped about the things that will communicate his level of respect for you. Men will always treat you in a way that reflects what they think they can get away with when it comes to you, and saying something like this will establish a strong barrier.

Scenario #3 – When you want him to give you the specialtreatment, say the following –

“Tom, you are one of those rare guys who knows how to treat a woman right. You make me feel wonderful on a whole new level. I can hardly describe it. I am really gladto have someone like you.”

Just like the expectation communicated by the second scenario,the third scenario illustrates that you’re the kind of woman who actually values how much a man respects her. You immediately sever the head of any idea he might have that you don’t care how you’re talked to, and you let him know his efforts are appreciated.

Not only will doing something like this make it so that he’s not going to be prone to thinking you don’t appreciate him, but it will also reinforce the likelihood that he’s going to make more

20

conscious efforts to please you in the future.

Any time that he’s presented with an opportunity to do something nice for you, he’s going to be likely to remember when you made him feel great inside for showing how much you appreciate the way that he knows how to treat a woman correctly.

When you have successfully planted this seed into his mind thatreinforces how much you appreciate the way that he treats you,it will blossom into something that spreads out over his consciousness every time that it’s relevant – this will mean that once you’re done it successfully once, you might have secured special treatment for a lifetime.

Scenario #4 – When you want to intensify his attraction towards you –

“Tom, you are the first guy I have ever met who legitimately knows exactly what a womanwants. I love itwhen a guy not only keeps my needs in mind but also respects my personal space – it really impresses me.”

Once again, what we have here is a technique that reinforces the feeling in your man’s mind that you see him as a genuinely one-of-a-kind person to be in a relationship with. You’re puttinghim into the position that’s not easily filled by anyone else, which will really give him a motivating sense of responsibility tofulfill the role.

When you show him that you like the fact that you still have your personal space when you’re around him, you will be communicating the fact that you are appreciative of time that you don’t spend to together – this will do more than just one thing.

When you show him that you appreciate personal space, he won’t see you as being as readily available, even though the two of you already committed to one another. A lot of relationships fizzle out due to the fact that one partner is far tooneedy, but this compliment both cleverly and strongly illustrates

21

the opposite in terms of who you are.

When he knows that you both value him and the time that the two of you spend apart, then he will feel a combination of motivations that stem from two distinct sources – the motivation to live up to the role of a uniquely impressive romantic partner, and the motivation to take advantage of the times that he’s actually able to be around you.

When he gets the feeling that you’re appreciative of personal space, he might have to start thinking about the prospect of you seeking out alone time if he rubs you the wrong way. He will know not to be too overbearing when it comes to seeking out closeness with you, and when he does get the chance to have it, he’ll try harder to make it worthwhile.

Scenario #5 – When you want him to do something special for you – Try the following –

“I am so excited for Valentines Day! I already know you will have something amazing planned for us. I know howmuch you love to give surprises.”

Now this is definitely a much more effective, considerate, and affectionate way to tell your man that you want him to get in gear for a special day! Instead of making it out to be like a job, which will suck the life out of his motivation, he will be given anhonest expression of how much you value his ability to plan things.

It may seem like it’s only related to romantic surprises, but when you do something like this, you’re actually stroking the part of the man’s ego that is directly related to his sense of control. By saying that you are excited for what he has planned,you’re showing him that you are placing full trust in his ability to control how a day in the future will be.

When he gets the sense that you truly appreciate his ability to control the outcome a future event, he will at once be swathed

22

in the kind of motivation that stems from a piece of him that acts independently of commands from other people.

He will be telling himself that he’s got to make sure that he makes the day special, for you, to illustrate both his affection and his personal power.

Scenario #6 – When you want to ensure that he doesn’t cheat on you or dates other women while he is with you – Try the following –

“Tom, I was just talking to an old friend of mine who justrealized that her boyfriend was cheating on her. I am so happy to have you in my life, because I know you will never do anything like that to me. I really appreciate the fact that you are a man of strict principles.”

Now this illustrates just how effective the power of ego-strokingcompliments can be when it comes to taking out insurance for your relationship’s sanctity. When you say something like this, you are placing a powerful stamp on his brain that will activate any time that he starts thinking about what it means to be loyalto you.

When a lot of women start thinking of what they can do to make their men more loyal, or whether or not their men are loyal, they get scared. A lot of these women have actually nevertaken the initiative to deeply think about their man’s loyalty in the first place, and entertaining the possibility of them not being loyal will trigger anxiety.

When they’re feeling anxious, these women might possibly put themselves on a slippery slope towards interrogating their men,accusing their men of things that didn’t actually happen.

When their men start to feel like they’re being put on trial, theywill start to feel like they’re being accused of not being able to properly controlthemselves – this is a grievous insult. If the man never had any tendency towards disloyalty before, then having his loyalty questioned or commanded will put him on thetrack towards losing it.

23

By prefixing your desire for his loyalty with a compliment like this, however, you don’t run the risk of questioning his ability tobe in control of his own actions. When you make sure that he knows how much you appreciate him, and that fact that respecthis ability to be loyal, he’ll see that you value him for his power to exercise control of himself.

It’s great that we can find people to commit to, but we’re only human – every now an then, loyalty does get tested.

Being able to remain monogamous, even if it’s only related to not doing somethingdisloyal, demands a great deal of energy that some people aren’t fully aware of. By showing you appreciate the energy he puts into not violating his role as a significant other, you’re stroking his ego by giving him the sense that he’s accomplished something that not very many men are capable of.

People feel bad for cheating for more than just the sense of making their partner upset – when it happens, they are often overcome with the feeling that they’ve failed.

We know how much men value the ability to solve problems on their own, so when they feel like they lost a battle against their own self-control, it can make them feel like they’re inherently weak. Telling him that you appreciate his ability to stay loyal to him is, indirectly, an open act of praise of his strength and independence.

All-Inclusive, Appreciative, and Awesome

There are thousands of situations in which this technique can beused to make your man feel more appreciated. By now, I’m sure you have a strong understanding of just why this technique’s success is an easy thing to imagine.

In truth, this technique is like a strategic way to exemplify some of the most important values for the survival of any relationship that two people have together:

24

· Appreciation for one another

· The respect of one another’s personal space

· Attention to detail when it comes to each other’s everyday actions

· Honesty and transparency

· Fidelity

· Discretion

· Emphases of genuine affection to keep the love for one anotherrefreshed

Relationships have a heartbeat and a state of health, just like a living organism – by employing this technique, you’re basically vaccinating the relationship to protect it against the chance thatit could either stagnate or fall apart at the appearance of the first thing that threatens its natural defenses.

Not only is this technique both honest and result-producing, it’s also very easy to have a lot of legitimate fun with. It can be seriously enjoyable to see how nothing more than a few well-placed words can send him off on a personal mission to fulfill your expectations.

In the meanwhile, he’s going to be getting an unexpected adrenaline rush from a combination of the pressure to please you and your open celebration of his strength. He’ll be invigorated if he was experiencing any kind of doubt about himself, and he’ll feel more secure about the state of his life if he was already feeling great.

So you see, this is far from just being some manipulative little mind game to get what you want – this is a mutually beneficial skill that every couple would actually benefit from using more often. If every man and woman knew to underline their desires with compliments and exhibitions of appreciation, there would

25

be far less fights.

Not only is this a great way to make him feel more committed to you, but he’s going to want to become more committed to you – the best part is that you’re going to be able to do this without aggressively seeking out his attention and coming off as needy.

As long as you make sure that you follow the steps I’ve outlinedhere patiently and properly, you have my guarantee that you will be getting what you want in the end. In addition to getting what you want, you’re going to get treated a lot better too.

With you feeling legitimately happy and him feeling like a king (with the power balance tipped in your favor the entire time), you’ll have the kind of relationship that is truly meant to survivein the long-term.

26