AIR_October'2011

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Issue fIve | october 2011

vivienne

westwood

What drives the

undisputed queen of

fashion in her

seventies?

steve martinon why being labelled the former funniest man in the world is laughable

better by designtake a look inside the planet’s most style-conscious hotels

to dine forWhere the best chefs in the business travel to eat food they adore

nacho figuerasthe most famous face in polo saddles up to discuss his burning ambitions

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VISIT YOUR NEAREST SHOWROOM AND TEST DRIVE A JAGUAR TODAY.

BAHRAIN. CAIRO . AMMAN . RIYADH . JEDDAH . KHOBAR . KUWAIT . BEIRUT . CASABLANCA . MUSCAT . DOHA . DAMASCUS . TUNISIA . DUBAI . ABU DHABI .AL AIN . SHARJAH . AJMAN . RAS AL KHAIMAH

CAN YOU TAME THE FASTEST JAGUAR EVER DESIGNED?

With a top speed of 300kph, and 0-100 in 4.4 seconds, the new XKR-S will keepyou firmly in the fast lane. The XKR-S, stay ahead in a fast moving world.

EXPERIENCE THE 2012 XKR-S AT:

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VISIT YOUR NEAREST SHOWROOM AND TEST DRIVE A JAGUAR TODAY.

BAHRAIN. CAIRO . AMMAN . RIYADH . JEDDAH . KHOBAR . KUWAIT . BEIRUT . CASABLANCA . MUSCAT . DOHA . DAMASCUS . TUNISIA . DUBAI . ABU DHABI .AL AIN . SHARJAH . AJMAN . RAS AL KHAIMAH

CAN YOU TAME THE FASTEST JAGUAR EVER DESIGNED?

With a top speed of 300kph, and 0-100 in 4.4 seconds, the new XKR-S will keepyou firmly in the fast lane. The XKR-S, stay ahead in a fast moving world.

EXPERIENCE THE 2012 XKR-S AT:

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WWW.U LY S S E - NA R D I N . COM

e ecutiveSelf-winding. Patented time zone quick setting.

Black ceramic bezel and 18 ct rose gold case.

Water-resistant to 100 m. Rubber band.

ULYSSE NARDIN BOUTIQUE, MALL OF THE EMIRATES +971 4 3950577 BINHENDI JEWELLERY, THE DUBAI MALL +971 4 4341421ALSO AVAILABLE IN DUBAI DUTY FREE, DUBAI INTERNATIONAL AIRPORTSOON TO OPEN: ULYSSE NARDIN BOUTIQUE, ZABEEL SARAY

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TwenTy eighT / fashion’s firsT lady

C o n t e n t s / F e at u r e s

Deborah Ross explores the weird and wonderful mind of fashion icon Vivienne Westwood.

The comedy legend laughs in the face of critics as his enduring talent gears up for another big screen showcase.

ThirTy seven / in vogue? What next for Dubai Fashion Week as the disparaged event unveils its new creative director?

forT y / sTeve marTin

forT y six / polo’s posTer boy On the eve of the new polo season, AIR rides out with the sport’s most famous face.

AIR Contents_ Oct.indd 5 9/27/2011 5:36:02 PM

There is a magical place below one of the most majestic peaks of the Dolomites mountains, where one can experience the best of every season. This is the Cristallo Hotel Spa & Golf, the only 5 star luxury hotel in the Dolomites. Here you will discover suites of unforgettable charm, the most exclusive and luxurious comfort, and the delicate touch of Transvital wellness. And after an intense day of skiing or a gratifying day of shopping, you can relax and let yourself be pampered by the impeccable Cristallo service offered in the various hotel restaurants and in the prestigious Club House of the Cortina Golf Club. Always in surroundings of unrivalled natural beauty. This is what a Cristallo Hotel holiday is about. There is nothing better. Naturally, it is in Cortina.

CRISTALLO HOTEL SPA & GOLF

THERE IS NO HIGHER PLACE.

Via Rinaldo Menardi 42 - 32043 Cortina d’Ampezzo (BL) Tel. +39.0436.881111 - Fax +39.0436.870110 - [email protected]

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C o n t e n t s / r e g u l a r s

Managing Director

Victoria Thatcher

Editorial Director

John Thatcher

Advertisement Director

Chris Capstick

[email protected]

Group Editor

Laura Binder

[email protected]

Group Deputy Editor

Jade Bremner

[email protected]

Designers

Adam Sneade

Sarah Boland

Production Manager

Haneef Abdul

Group Advertisement Manager

Cat Steele

[email protected]

Advertisement Manager

Sukaina Hussein

[email protected]

Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission from HOT Media Publishing is strictly prohibited. All prices mentioned are correct at time of press but may change. HOT Media Publishing does not accept liability for omissions or errors in AIR.

Tel: 00971 4 364 2876Fax: 00971 4 369 7494

T wenT y f o ur / criTique

fourTeen / radar

f ifT y / moToring

sevenTy six / whaT i know now

fif T y f o u r / gasTronomy

sixT y o n e / golf

sixT y Two / Travel

What’s on, what’s new, and what to spend your dollars on during the month ahead...

In the market for a speedy new drive? BMW’s 1 Series M will be delighted to oblige...

We’ve waded through the column inches of cultural critique to present its essential offerings.

Ever wondered where the globe’s gastro greats dine out while on holiday? AIR dishes up the inside scoop.

The first in a regular series of tips on how to conquer awkward lies starts with the art of swinging downhill.

Get with the in-crowd at the world’s best beach clubs or seek respite aside Lake Maggiore.

Piaget’s CEO Philippe Léopold-Metzger shares his life lessons.

AIR Contents_ Oct.indd 7 9/27/2011 5:36:09 PM

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g a m a av i at i o n

Contact details:[email protected]

October 2011

Welcome onboard

Dave EdwardsManaging DirectorGama Aviation

I’m delighted to welcome you to the October edition of AIR. I hope you’ll enjoy learning more about our global business aviation group and the services we provide as you browse through the pages.

Gama is one of the world’s largest business jet operators – we have nearly 80 business jets operating all around the globe. Established in the United Kingdom in 1983, we’ve grown to have bases throughout the Middle East, Europe and North & South America, as well as operating licences issued by the UAE, UK, US and Bermu-dan Authorities.

In addition to providing aircraft management and charter services, the group also provides aircraft maintenance, avionics design and instal-lation, aviation software, aircraft cleaning and leasing services to a wide range of clients.

Gama’s expansion in the Middle East contin-ues to progress well, our regional fleet has grown significantly over the past twelve months with the arrival of a number of aircraft including the Bombardier Global XRS and the Airbus A318, along with the continued development of our regional footprint and services.

Business aviation remains one of the best tools available to corporations and individuals who want to make time for themselves and it’s been pleasing to see a resurgence in charter flights in 2011 – the world is travelling for business again and developing much needed revenue for the global economy.

Thank you for choosing Gama - welcome on board.

AIR Welcome Gama Aviation_ Oct.indd 9 9/27/2011 7:02:40 PM

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g a m a av i at i o n n e w s

Gama Aviation Limited

Business Aviation Centre

Farnborough Airport

Farnborough

Hampshire

GU14 6XA

United Kingdom

Tel: +44 1252 553000

Email: [email protected]

Gama Aviation FZC

Building 6EB

Office 550

PO Box 54912

Dubai Airport Freezone

Dubai

United Arab Emirates

Tel: +971 4 609 1688


Gama Aviation, Inc.

Airport Business Center

611 Access Road

Stratford

CT 06615

United States

Tel: +1 800 468 1110


www.gamagroup.com

Business Aircraft Management, Charter,

Maintenance, Design and Installation,

FBO Services, Valeting and Aviation Software.

500,000 Hours

200,000 Flights

28 Years

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Gama Aviation has signed an exclusive partnership with travel reward programme Asia Miles to provide business jet services to its 3.9 million members worldwide. The newly ratified partnership commenced from August 1 2011.

As part of the agreement, Asia Miles members will be able to earn 1 Asia Mile for every US$5 spent using Gama’s business jet services, which can connect with prestigious Asian airlines such as Cathay Pacific and Dragonair. Asia Miles members with onward connections to destinations that are not served by Asia Miles partner airlines can arrange a connecting sector by business jet with Gama to destinations such as Lugano, Cannes and St Moritz.

The deal signifies the first step towards Gama’s planned expansion into the Asia market, and follows an introduction by Freestream Executive Aviation Limited made in March 2011. Gama’s strategy is to build on the success of the company’s international network currently centered in Europe, the Middle East and the USA. By partnering with Asia Miles, Gama will bring its bespoke travel services to the most sophisticated travelers in Asia.

“We are very pleased to confirm this strategic agreement to provide frequent flyers of prestigious international carriers like Cathay Pacific and Dragonair a convenient travel solution that suits their particular needs,” said Marwan Khalek, Gama CEO.

Paul Loo, General Manager Cathay Pacific Loyalty Programmes Limited, said: “Asia Miles strives to bring quality partners to its members and we believe Gama Aviation’s wide geographical coverage and long established experience in the business jet service will meet the needs of our worldwide members.”

About Freestream Executive Aviation Ltd.Freestream Aircraft Limited consists of a team of highly experienced and uniquely qualified aviation consultants based in the USA and UK. The staff at Freestream are able to cover all aspects of aircraft brokerage, acquisition, marketing, sales, interior modification, import/export and maintenance review of corporate jet aircraft types.

aIroPS To PlaY an ImPorTanT role In 2012 olYmPIcS

TAG Farnborough Airport and London Biggin Hill Airport are both designated 2012 Olympic airports which utilise AIROPS Movement-Exec to run their operations. Airops is in dialogue with many aviation businesses about their requirements for the expected increase in business aviation around the Games. The Airops ME software is designed to reduce the administrative workload involved in running an airport, handling agent or FBO. The integrated software

simplifies the business process from booking to invoicing and incorporates functionality offering on-demand or account-run invoicing, interfacing with third party applications such as Sage, Microsoft Dynamics, Oracle, Microsoft Excel and IATA compliant handling requests, along with full auditing of requested products and services.

Gama recrUITS aIr TraFFIc SPecIalIST and adVISeS To booK earlY For olYmPIcS

Gama Aviation is preparing for the forthcoming 2012 London Olympics and the anticipated increase in business aviation traffic with the recruitment of its own dedicated air traffic specialist. Consultant Martin Hill brings 30 years’ experience as an air traffic controller and supervisor at the London Air Traffic Control centre to Gama. He is now in situ at the company’s Farnborough Airport HQ and is advising Gama’s operations and charter teams as they communicate to clients about their air travel to London, coinciding with next year’s big event.

Gama’s Director of Client Relations, Trevor Jones, said: “We are advising our customers and charter brokers to book their slots early in order to avoid disappointment. For international clients coming to London between July 21 and August 15 we urge them to contact us as soon as possible so we can make the slot applications accordingly. This is because there will be capacity constraints in the airspace over the London area, affecting a total of 40 airports in the South of the UK.”

Slots will be required for all flights arriving or departing the London area during the period from July 21-August 15 2012, inclusive. Flights will also be subjected to security screening, even at small airports/airfields.

Martin Hill explains: “Slots will be issued on a first come, first served basis and where the requested slot time is not available, the closest match will be offered as an alternative. Airports will be charging a non-refundable fee for the booking of the slots, which will be added to the cost of the flight, and in some cases, requiring payment of landing and handling fees in advance.”

Gama is advising its clients and charter brokers that once a slot is issued, changing the time of the flight will invalidate that original slot. There will be no guarantee that a slot will be available for the revised time on the day concerned. If the slot is not adhered to, the flight will not be able to depart until a new slot time is granted, which could be many hours away.

The slot system is now operational to take bookings at Farnborough Airport, and will become active at other London area airports over the coming months.

Gama aVIaTIon To ProVIde bUSIneSS jeT SerVIce To aSIa aIr mIleS SerVIce


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Gama Aviation Limited

Business Aviation Centre

Farnborough Airport

Farnborough

Hampshire

GU14 6XA

United Kingdom

Tel: +44 1252 553000


Gama Aviation FZC

Building 6EB

Office 550

PO Box 54912

Dubai Airport Freezone

Dubai

United Arab Emirates

Tel: +971 4 609 1688


Gama Aviation, Inc.

Airport Business Center

611 Access Road

Stratford

CT 06615

United States

Tel: +1 800 468 1110


www.gamagroup.com

Business Aircraft Management, Charter,

Maintenance, Design and Installation,

FBO Services, Valeting and Aviation Software.

500,000 Hours

200,000 Flights

28 Years

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g a m a av i at i o n n e w s

Gama aVIaTIon’S cHarTer FleeT GroWS WITH THe addITIon oF TWo more aIrcraFT

Gama Aviation has just introduced a Cessna CJ2+ to its managed charter fleet, new onto the UK register. Together with the addition of a 13-seat Falcon 2000, its European charter fleet now totals 28 aircraft, 11 of which are based in the UK. Gama’s success in winning tri-zone Wyvern approval across its three continental bases – Europe, USA and the Middle East – has had a strong effect in boosting cross-continental client sharing, according to Commercial Manager Paul Cremer. It has helped Gama gain more international clients in Russia and the Middle East, including Royal family members and music tour arrangers. Gama offices in its regions share clients to ensure a consistent level of service and local knowledge, which means the clients are assured of attention to detail. Gama’s clients have a fleet of 83 aircraft to experience, based out of Europe, Russia, the Middle East and Continental USA. Client interface has also been strengthened by the arrival of Trevor Jones as Director of Client Services – a new role.


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Life’s Suite If your travel itinerary takes you to China this month (after all, it’s now the third most visited country on the planet behind France and the USA) you can be one of the first to stay at the newly-opened Banyan Tree Macau. This all-suite resort – which takes pride of place in the glittering $2 billion Galaxy Macau complex – offers a relaxation pool in every room and a rather fun wave pool on its roof. But it’s the outsized Presidential Villa that’s the pick of dwellings. It counts a dedicated entertainment room and a sky-high manicured garden among its myriad charms. banyantree.com

R a d a R

AIR Radar_Oct.indd 14 9/27/2011 5:39:33 PM

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R a d a R

> Just in time for the start of the GCC polo season, Hublot has released its latest polo inspired timepiece – the limited edition Chukker Bang. It was developed with the professional insight of player Facundo Piers and is so named because its special feature is a 7 min 30 counter, the length of a chukker. Only five hundred of its titanium version exist, so be quick to strap one on. hublot.com

For the car connoisseur… If the Jaguar name provokes an appreciative purr, you’ll be in good company at London’s 51 Buckingham Gate. The hotel has unleashed its Jaguar Suite for avid fans of the classic car brand, a project that was overseen by Jaguar’s design director. Inside, custom-made wallpaper pays a decorative tribute to the brand, while the room’s alcoves are adorned with scaled-down models of its iconic cars. 51-buckinghamgate.co.uk

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Rare Islamic art

Venture over to New York’s Metropolitan Museum of Art from November to see a vast exhibition of over 1,000 historic pieces of rare Islamic Art. Displayed over 15 galleries, highlights include excerpts of the Qur’an that date to medieval times. metmuseum.org

Set sail in style If you’re in the market for a standout vessel, Pearl Motor Yachts have struck design gold by bringing onboard the talents of world-renowned British interior designer Kelly Hoppen MBE. Famed for casting a decorative hand over the high-profile homes of countless celebrities, Hoppen will make-over the brand’s flagship Pearl 75 in her signature style – eastern simplicity meets western luxury – in time for early 2012. pearlmotoryachts.com

>This December, over 200 pieces from Elizabeth Taylor’s personal jewellery collection – estimated to be worth $30 million – will be auctioned off in New York. Prior to that a selection of the items will be displayed at Jumeirah Emirates Towers, Dubai, on October 23, including this 500 year-old La Peregrina pearl necklace, a gift from Richard Burton.


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R a d a R

ItalIan stallIonIf you value the style of your car’s interior as much as its exterior, then Maserati’s newest supercar certainly shares your sensibilities. The Maserati Gran Cabrio Fendi is born from a masterful marriage with Silvia Venturini Fendi, which means that beneath sleek and brooding bodywork you’ll find beautifully crafted seats offset with a Fendi yellow trim and the brand’s iconic double F logo stitching. maserati.com

QuIck callGet your hands on the latest offering from Mobiado’s Aston Martin collection and you’ll be taking calls on a phone coined from aircraft specification aluminum – which means there’s little chance of it being damaged if dropped. Additionally, its frame is inlayed with sapphire crystal while its infrared window is a slice of solid ruby crystal. The Grand 350 Aston Martin is available in black, black satin and silver.

› Original vintage advertising posters have not only proved to be good investment pieces but also make for home décor you can enjoy while they appreciate in value. On November 3 Christie’s will auction over 200 of them, including numerous travel-themed prints depicting Middle Eastern scenes. christies.com


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> Australian-born, UAE-based bespoke furniture designer Noel Duigan releases his latest attention grabbing baroque-style chair range this month. Finished in Italy, his collection fuses pop art elements and bold colours with a classic shape. From $13,500 a piece. noelduigan.com

Is BRItaIn’s Best eateRy Really a tIny café? It is according to world-renowned chef Delia Smith. While many gourmands credit the likes of Blumenthal or Blanc, it’s the Michelin star-less Wiveton Farm Café in Norfolk that gets Smith’s vote for serving “Britan’s best food”. Founded by the little-known chef Desmond MacCarthy, this cute country eatery – set in the grounds of a 17th century manor house – takes pride of place in a 1960s storage barn that’s been revamped with candy-coloured beams to form the backdrop for “simple, fresh food”. Smith, who has previously criticised chefs who overcomplicate dishes, highly recommends the cafe’s broad beans and fresh parsley piled high on bruschetta and the dishes laced with produce grown in the cafe’s own grounds… wivetonhall.co.uk/cafe


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t h e m a i n e v e n t

LONDON RESTAURANT FESTIVAL, UK, October 3-17

Thanks in part to universally acclaimed talents like Heston Blumenthal (pictured left), Gordon Ramsay, Angela Hartnett and Jamie Oliver, the UK has come a long way from the not-so-distant days when its standard of food was a figure of fun. London’s Restaurant Festival provides the perfect expression of this culinary renaissance, a two-week long event that sees those aforementioned chefs team up with countless other gastro greats and acclaimed restaurants citywide to serve up specially-devised ‘festival menus’ on a colossal scale.

Last year’s Festival saw 600 restaurants create 50,000 menus for customers to sample, and this year that number is set to be topped, with the London Eye offering a menu that’s quite literally the height of good taste: inside one of the Eye’s capsules, Angela Hartnett, Jason Atherton, and Hélène Darroze – who between them hold six Michelin stars – will serve up a three-course meal (billed as the world’s first six Michelin-star meal, naturally) for just 10 guests. If you wish to do so, you can even book all 10 covers at a cost of $23,000.

But it’s not only dining on offer to interested gourmands. Famed food critic AA Gill will chair what’s likely to be a fiery food debate, while The Firmdale Group’s trio of hip hotels (Soho, Covent Garden, Charlotte Street) will each host Eat Film, an event at which you’ll watch a classic movie before sitting for a three-course meal inspired by the film. Bon appetite. londonrestaurantfestival.com

fantastic voyage The Gourmet Odyssey, a gastro roadtrip across London, is our pick of the tickets on sale for this year’s Restaurant Festival. Book one of eight tours on offer and you’ll enjoy a private ride aboard the city’s iconic Routemaster bus, stopping off at three suberb restaurants along the way to enjoy one course in each. Our advice? Plump for the Park Lane tour (outlined right) which begins with a champagne reception at The Savoy...

Aperitif Beaufort Bar, The Savoy

Starter The River Restaurant at The Savoy

Spiced tuna and tomato tartare with seared diver scallop, chunky avocado

and Bloody Mary broth

Entrée Massimo Restaurant & Oyster Bar

Sautéed fillets of Cod with cream of peppers and aubergine gratin

DesertMaze

Fruit crumble with berry sorbet, elderflower mousse and granola


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t i m e p i e c e s

situation. At Christie’s sale of watches in Geneva in May this year, 94% of the 401 lots sold for a total of more than $26.3 million, with a Patek Philippe wristwatch fetching a world record price for its type at US$3.6 million.

The principal factors affecting the value of a watch are complexity, rarity, condition and brand name while, in contrast to many other collectors’ items, age is much less of an issue. The general rule of thumb as far as complexity is concerned is that the more complications – functions in addition to telling the time – that a watch has then the more valuable it is. Complications can include displaying the date, day and month and if it has a stopwatch then the timepiece is known as a chronograph. The reasons that such additional functions add to the value of a watch is that greater workmanship is involved and such complexities mean that fewer watches are produced, and rarity is something that has always attracted collectors, whether it be of paintings, porcelain, jewellery or watches. Some makers rigorously test the movements of their watches and issue certificates of accuracy that are highly desirable and again add to the value of a particular watch.

Buyers are prepared to pay a premium for limited edition watches and ‘boutique specials’. Of course, condition is also crucial and a watch which is in a good, original state will always command a better price than one which is damaged, or which has been repaired or altered.

The manufacturer is another key factor in the value of a watch, partly because they are worn for display but also because it is a guarantee of quality. Among the most sough- after makers are Cartier, Breguet, Rolex, A. Lange & Söhne, Vacheron Constantin, and Audemars Piquet, while interest in newer names such as F.P. Journe, Richard Mille, Vianney Halter and Thomas Prescher has grown considerably in recent years. But perhaps the ‘Rolls-Royce’ of the watch world is Patek Philippe, who produce in small quantities for the elite market.

Stylish design is important with the current preference among collectors being for clean lines and proportionately larger faces, while the metal used in a watch can also affect value. Some metals are obviously more valuable than others, while regional preferences can come into play; Middle Eastern buyers preferring platinum, white gold or stainless steel to yellow gold.

Older style watches do not command higher prices, partly because wristwatches are a relatively modern phenomenon and collectors prefer them to pocket watches because they can

Aurel Bacs, Christie’s International Head of Watches and Wristwatches, on the factors that value a timepiece

How to buy an investment watcH

A lthough in theory a watch is merely a functional device for telling the time, in reality the finest and rarest examples, in what has become an

increasingly sophisticated and international market, represent an extraordinary blend of aesthetics and high technology. Like the manufacturers of classic cars, the names of the world’s greatest watchmakers have become instantly recognizable global brands. But where do new collectors start and what should they buy? What makes one watch so much more valuable than another?

In general terms collectors should buy watches that they personally find interesting and they should start slowly, building up their knowledge through reading, attending auctions, physically holding and inspecting as many watches as possible, and talking to those who have been involved in this field for years. In practice becoming an expert on a specific type of watch is a less intimidating prospect than it might appear. Many of the newer brands have comparatively small production runs – and so once someone finds a maker that suits their taste then the research should be manageable.

It is also better to collect top quality watches because they fascinate you rather than buy them as an investment even though the market has performed very strongly in recent years. However, although investment should not be the primary reason for collecting watches, it is always comforting to know that they are likely to remain sought-after even amid the current uncertain world economic

AIR Watches_ Oct.indd 21 9/26/2011 7:54:25 PM

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t i m e p i e c e s

How does it work?The Watch: Lange Zeitwerk Striking Time The Creator: Anthony de Haas, Director Product Development: A. Lange & Söhne

This is the first Lange wristwatch with an acoustic signature and it’s endowed with a chiming mechanism that is visible on its face. The inspiration came to us during the restoration of the Grande Complication 42500 and its ingenious chiming mechanism.

In this case, a mechanism triggers a hammer onto one of two gongs at every quarter-hour: a high-pitched tone marks the three quarter hours, a lower pitched tone strikes the full hours. It is a kind of a ‘sonnerie au passage’ which could be translated as ‘automatic striking in passing’.

The two steel gongs are positioned

at either side of the dial and in order to create a richer tone the gongs are fixed to the movement and the watchcase. Two specially shaped cams (yellow/pink) are used to operate the levers (blue) that are connected to the hammers. You can turn the mechanism off by actuating the push piece at 4 o’clock. This causes the hammers to retract from the gongs and the chiming mechanism to remain mute. The hammers are also retracted whenever the crown is pulled, which allows the time to be set in either direction without inadvertently jamming the chiming mechanism.

Issued in a limited edition of just 150 pieces, the latest addition to Vacheron Constantin’s Patrimony Contemporaine collection has a larger case than any of its predecessors (42mm) and is complemented by a striking dark blue alligator leather strap, that’s hand saddle-stitched with silk and 950 platinum threads.

wear them. Provenance is also a factor and many high-end makers keep detailed records so that you can literally follow a watch from the time of its production to its first owner, and even get information on when it was serviced. It is like getting the DNA of a watch and this highly desirable information can add significantly to the value of a timepiece.

This is a fascinating market on the move as personal tastes change and technical innovations result in ever-more sophisticated timepieces. But the essentials will remain the same in the years to come – quality, rarity, complexity, condition and, of course, perfect timekeeping.

buying timeThe three most expensive watches ever sold at Christie’s auctions

> 18K gold perpetual calendar Patek Philippe chronograph wristwatch with moon phases and tonneau-shaped case. Sold for $5,708,833, May 2010.

> Stainless steel perpetual calendar Patek Philippe wristwatch with phases of the moon, amagnetic balance and Arabic numerals. Sold for $4,016,504, May 2008.

> A possibly unique 18K white gold cushion-shaped single button Patek Philippe chronograph wristwatch, manufactured in 1928. Sold for $3,636,140, May 2011.

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c r i t i q u e

Martha Marcy May MarleneDir. T. Sean Durkin The central protagonist Martha, tries to build her life again after fleeing from an abusive cult. Seeking help from her siblings, she hides the truth about where she’s been.at best: ‘One of the more impressive debuts we’ve seen in some time, a hypnotic and haunting film that pulls you into its story.’ Comingsoon.netat worst: ‘Durkin’s Film is calm and restrained – but it maintains its atmosphere of escalating dread.’ Daily Telegraph.

FilmThe Ides of March Dir. George Clooney Ryan Gosling plays a campaign press secretary and finds himself at the centre of a scandal which could ruin his candidate’s shot at The White House. at best: ‘It’s captivating enough and well-performed by a strong cast, even down to the smaller ensemble roles.’ Time Out. at worst: ‘[An] intriguing but overly portentous drama, which seems far more taken with its own cynicism than most viewers will be.’ Variety.

Toast Dir. Emilio Estevez Although teenager Nigel’s mother could never cook, he loved her dearly. Sadly she passes away leaving cleaner Mrs Potter to help around the house and prompting Nigel to enter into a cooking duel with the new recruit in a bid to gain his father’s attention. at best: ‘Like the lemon meringue pies and shrimp cocktails it features throughout, Brit comedy-drama Toast is tasty, hearty and rather conventional.’ Variety.at worst: ‘...blessed with a soundtrack of Dusty Springfield songs, Toast nevertheless doesn’t go down quite as smoothly as it should.’ Detroit News.

The DeadDir. Alain Corneau This post-apocalyptic horror is set in Africa, where Brian Murphy fights for survival against the raw landscape and living dead in an attempt to get back to the USA and find his family.at best: ‘The low-budget zombie movie market may have long since reached saturation point, but this one displays some talent, style, intelligence and imagination...’. The Guardian.at worst: ‘...since the undead are everywhere the quest for safety becomes repetitive.’ This is London.

AIR Critique_Oct.indd 24 9/26/2011 7:59:31 PM

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ArtAt the Royal Academy of Arts, London, Edgar Dagas’ lifelong work is revealed – as is his obsession with dance. “Certain artists will be associated forever with particular motifs: Monet and water lilies, for instance, or Stubbs and horses,” comments Alastair Sooke from The Telegraph. “Degas will always be remembered first and foremost as the painter of dancers.” Since 1870 the artist frequented the Paris Opera and noted the precise details of its shows and rehearsals. “It is tempting to write off Degas’s pictures of ballerinas as overly pretty and effeminate,” explains Sooke, “but nothing could be further from the reality of his robust and vigorous studies of athletes sweating and straining their sinews. His ballerinas aren’t simpering, insipid creatures of fantasy, but flesh-and-blood young women whose ‘distorted’ anatomies shocked early critics.”

The Guardian’s Laura Cummings also applauds Degas’s technique. “A painting will go many ways – incisive outline, dry stabs, liquid blurs, fingerprints,” she writes. “He will use a soft pastel for something sharply complex, crisscrossing the strokes so that you have to look through them, like traffic, to deduce a figure.” But beyond his fine technique critics find a darker message in Degas’s work. One such Charles Darwent of The Independent says of the show’s centrepiece: “La Petite Danseuse is not just a little girl: she is a little specimen, something from a science or ethnography museum. Ballet dancers were known to supplement their wages by sleeping with men. This 14-year-old girl may be in a vitrine because she is a specimen, or because she is for sale.” Regardless, The Telegraph’s Sooke happily brands Degas “one of the greatest masters from the last century.”

At MoMA in New York, art takes on an entirely different appearance in the form of a Dutch American abstract expressionist named Willem de Kooning. “de Kooning, who painted both opulent abstractions and big, blowsy dames, resists easy branding,” states Holland Cotter of the New York Times. Here, the show’s curator John Elderfield exhibits seven decades of work in seven different spaces. “In each we see abstract and figurative paintings of roughly the same date not just side by side but also interacting, intertwining, merging identities; abstraction breathes, smiles and bleeds; figures shimmer and shudder apart into color and line,” writes Cotter. “We see him devouring his way through visual history past and present, gobbling up images from Ingres, Rubens, Soutine and Picasso; from contemporaries like Arshile Gorky; and from movie ads, Sunday comics and the graphics in New York police gazettes.” James Kalm from Art Review deems it “the most complete survey of this heroic artist’s career ever presented.” He adds, “this exhibition is a once in a life time chance to see its full breadth.” The show continues until January 2012.

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BooksMichael Moore, outspoken libertarian and critique of the American system, released his semi-fictional autobiography Here Comes Trouble last month. The pages are made up of short stories and events in Moore’s life that have sculpted his opinions. “Many of the names and circumstances have been changed,” explains Moore, “to protect the innocent, and sometimes the guilty.” Yet this disclaimer cuts both ways, explains Sam Leith from The Guardian. “It gives him licence to invent and embellish – but it also gives the reader licence to doubt,” he criticises. “Scenes are coloured by hack-novelistic detail... and dialogue is fancifully reconstructed.”

In Moore’s signature style he delves into a multitude of controversial social issues but, according to Leith, the messages are tangled up with arrogance: “The purpose of every story here is not to enlighten or surprise, but to redound to the credit of Michael Moore,” he comments. “You wish him every success in fighting the good fight. But you can’t help wishing, too, that he wasn’t such a douche-nozzle about it.” The New York Times, meanwhile, is equally critical. “To remark that Here Comes Trouble is by far Mr Moore’s best book isn’t extravagant praise,” writes Dwight Garner. “He’s more concise as a documentarian; like all of his books this one is shaggy and overfilled. It’s a cabbage rather than a rose, a tangy ring of bologna rather than a sirloin. Side effects may include heartburn.”

Reach for a darker more fantastical tome this month with William Giraldi’s Busy Monsters. It’s “almost like the lovesick diary entries of Franz Kafka,” explains Time Out’s Jeremy Medina. The story introduces Charles Homar, who embarks on an odd journey to find Bigfoot near the Rocky Mountains in an attempt to win back his ex-fiancé’s heart. He shares this epic journey with a hunter looking for UFOs, and a female companion

who claims she was previously abducted by aliens. It’s about “nerdy men willing to fight for a woman’s heart,” explains Ron Charles from the Washington Post. Wacky, entertaining and unusual, Fiona Maazel from The New York Times sees little wrong with this formula: “comedy, satire, farce, language, all drafted to unman the man so that he can get the girl. Not a bad premise for a novel, right?”

The Art of Fielding by Chad Harbach is based on the story of Henry Skrimshander. We follow a gifted athlete who is recruited to play for the Westish Harpooners. “The most unusual feature of this unusually charming début is the easy, unpretentious way it has of joining a love of baseball with a love of literature,” explains Wyatt Mason of The New Yorker. “The central drama of becoming arises from a wildly errant throw by Henry, which injures a teammate. Henry is suddenly incapable of throwing accurately, (and) undermined by paralytic self-consciousness.” But the text delivers a deeper tone on the human condition claims Lorin Stein of The Paris Review, who believes it gives the message “that we’re alive and have access to beauty, can even erratically create it, but will someday be dead and will not.” All in all, it’s a home run for Harbach’s debut novel: ‘It’s that rare big, social novel...that never feels like it’s straining to impress,” comments David Daley of USA Today.

‘It’s that rare big, social novel...that never feels like it’s straining to impress’


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theAtre

The fabled Shakespearian romance Cymbeline takes to the stage at the New Victory Theatre, New York, this month and runs until December. Set during the Roman Empire, the Fiasco Theater’s version of the historic play comes “without postmodern riffs and frills,” according to Ben Brantley of The New York Times. “The stage is correspondingly naked,” he comments. “The set is made up of two crates, a sheet and what is accurately described in the program as a fabulous trunk, which figures significantly in the headless corpse scene.” With just six people in its cast, The National Review’s Andrew Stuttaford calls it a “marvelously acted, highly imaginative triumph, sly, sweet and bizarre with moments of the magic that theater often promises, but rarely delivers.” On the script, he states that it’s “underwritten by a sense of the absurd that turned the final scene into a screwball feast that might even have made Hamlet chuckle.”

In the UK, Manchester’s Royal Exchange sets the scene for Christopher Marlowe’s Edward II, directed by Toby Frow. “Frow has set the play in the 1950s, which adds nothing to it but doesn’t distract from it either,” observes British Theatre Guide’s David Chadderton. “There is the usual problem of lots of men in modern dress playing multiple characters that look almost the same, but it doesn’t stop us from following the story.” Glenn Meads of The Stage claims that the “upbeat intro to the evening lulls you into a false sense of security,” with a plot laced with deception and murder following suit. Something, Mead observes, the director executes with great effect: “...Frow directs with a sense of urgency and creates a thriller of epic proportions, which shocks and stuns you into submission.” Chadderton agrees: “While some of the group fights aren’t wholly convincing close up, the final murder will have you

clenching your buttocks for a few days at least... it bounces along with the pace of a modern thriller, has a great sense of storytelling in the direction and is an entertaining night at the theatre.”

Down under, the Sydney Opera House is hosting the classic Giacomo Puccini opera La Bohème, until October 24. “This spiffing, shiny new production… soars with emotional intensity and vocal clarity,” declares Deborah FitzGerald from Australian Stage. Set in the pre-war years of 1930s Berlin, the fabled tragedy – this time directed by Gale Edwards – shows the parallels of wealth and poverty. Expect a glamorous Spiegeltent as the setting which harks back to the bygone era complete with shivering and hungry bohemians inside as well as costumes to heighten the scenario. “...the glittering multi-levelled palace resplendent with courtesans in varying degrees of undress brought an energy and exuberance to the raucous Café Momus scenes,” recounts FitzGerald. Ji-Min Park plays Rudolfo and Takesha Meshe Kizart assumes the role of Mimi but, according to FitzGerald, there is a distinct absence of emotion between them. “While both Park and Kizart were outstanding in their individual performances, there was a lack of chemistry between their characters, which slightly undercut the final emotional payoff,” she says. Lloyd Bradford Syke of crikey.com.au, however, commends the acting: “Andrew Jones’ Marcello is strong, while Taryn Fiebig fully inhabits the coquettish role of Musetta.” He adds: ‘...the beautiful, Chicago-born Takesha Meshe Kizart, was sobering in managing to capture the fragility of seamstress, Mimi.” Syke concludes: “Puccini’s La Bohème is a thing of immense and enduring beauty and this latest version, while falling short of outright thrilling, nonetheless gives it a new lease of life and love.” Im

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‘Frow directs with a sense of urgency and creates a thriller of epic proportions’


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Deborah Ross meets Vivienne Westwood, the 70-year-old doyenne of British fashion

AIR Vivienne Westwood_Oct.indd 28 9/26/2011 7:42:50 PM



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station, and might still be there had the kindly driver not roused me. Still, the small talk is OK, pretty much. I ask her the secret of her amazing skin; if she has a beauty regime. She says, “I don’t bother, really, but I do use a moisturiser.” Which moisturiser? Which? She mentions a name, an Italian brand, Fior di Linfa. She is 70, can you believe, but would not have Botox or any similar treatments.

She has been at the top for 40 years now, but still seems staggeringly unworldly. We meet on the pretext of her T-shirt designs for Comic Relief. Her assistant brings in the photos of various celebrities wearing them and she hasn’t a clue who any of them are.

“Who’s that?” David Walliams, I say. A comedian. “I don’t know him,” she says. He’s married to the supermodel Lara Stone, I say. “I don’t know her. Who’s that?” Idris Elba, I say. You know, The Wire? Luther? “I don’t know him.” Vivienne, I say, have you ever thought of subscribing to Heat or Hello!? She says, “I haven’t seen any of the films everybody else has seen, and I don’t watch TV. People introduce me to celebrities and I’ve no idea who they are. And I’ll say, ‘Are you famous?’ I feel apologetic because I don’t know who they are, and they know who I am, you see?”

There is also a photograph of Vivienne with Andreas. I point him out, too. And that, I say, is Andreas Kronthaler, your husband, the former fashion student, 25 years your junior, now the company’s creative director. Yes, she says, she does recognise him. And what a dish, I say. She smiles properly, showing her nice, even teeth, shaped like those tablet chewing gums you used to have to shake from the box into your hand. She says, “He’s Austrian. I think it’s… well… I just feel that he has the kind of body that Arnold Schwarzenegger had before he started body building because it’s an incredible, proportioned body and it’s very good in clothes, that body. It’s amazing.” I say it looks as if it would be pretty good without clothes. She laughs quite girlishly now. When I later ask her if a part of her will always love Malcolm, she says, “Yes, but I definitely love this one more. Andreas has been the opposite. I’ve never had anything from him except care and attention and support and he’s just brilliant.” Although I’m no psychotherapist, except on Tuesday mornings, I wonder if all the obfuscation is her protective layer; protects her from being intimidated, as she was by Malcolm, who never gave her care, attention or support. Is it, perhaps, her way of saying, “Who is in possession of the higher learning now?” Just a thought.

I try, as you do, to search for character clues in her childhood, but it seems as if it was only happy and straightforward. Her father, George Swire, worked at Wall’s and came from a line of cobblers, while his wife, Dora, worked at a greengrocer’s. Vivienne was superb at school.

Creative? “Yes. I remember when I first went to school they give you a Plasticine board and everybody made worms, but I just used it as a base and put all these toadstools and fairies on it. I could make anything. I really think if, at the age of five, somebody had asked me to make a pair of shoes, I could’ve made a pair of shoes. I would have known where to start.” And she was clever, too. She was a big reader and always top of the class. She says, “If I’d had to choose between a permanent holiday or permanent school, it would have been school, for sure, because I loved it so much.” And yet you didn’t go on to university? She says girls from her background simply didn’t. “There were two girls a year older, Joyce and Sally, always top of the class, but they left at 15 to work in the cotton mill. I remember the headmaster just couldn’t believe it.”

When she was 16 the family moved to Middlesex to run a post office, and she spent a term at Harrow Art College before concluding that art was not for a working-class girl like her. She went instead to teacher-training college, married an airline steward called Derek Westwood and had a baby, Ben. She was teaching at a primary school when she met and fell in love with one Malcolm Edwards, otherwise known as Malcolm McLaren, former art student, future manager of the Sex Pistols. They started by selling records to Teddy boys, then progressed to clothes. Were you actually making clothes at this point? “I made things for Malcolm... Lurex trousers and that sort of thing.” What was the first Westwood item ever sold? She says she thinks it was some suits, which they actually got a tailor to make, but Malcolm wasn’t happy with the velvet trim, “So I borrowed £100 off my mum and changed all the velvet to a different colour. I was working under Malcolm’s guidance. I was always doing what he wanted, really.” And you never said no? “No,” she says. “I didn’t. I was interested in helping him. He would tell me to make things. He’d tell me to make a raincoat, with a flared skirt, out of this fabric, and stuff like that. I was doing things entirely according to his direction.” I bet you never thought, “One day I’m going to get a couture business out of this?” “I didn’t want it. My story is: when I’ve finished this ******* pair of trousers, I can go read my book.”

Why did he feel he had to make you cry every day? “Because he was terrible. He was very messed up.” Was he cruel? “He tried to be, but I was very conscious, all the time, of how much Malcolm needed me, and I had this loyalty to him. When you get involved with somebody who’s got a problem, that’s what happens. I mean, if he’d been an alcoholic or something… he wasn’t at all… but something was definitely… you know… a problem for him. He needed to hurt people and to keep his distance, and yet then he’d try and suck you back in.” Why did you need him? “I needed mental stimulation and when I first met Malcolm… I don’t


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want to say bad things about the area of the world I come from, because it’s wonderful, but it was very sheltered, and Malcolm came from this Jewish family and this cosmopolitan background and he just understood the world. And I always thought that I didn’t. I didn’t trust myself to ever be able to make the right decisions about things.”

Again, I’m no psychotherapist – some Tuesday mornings I don’t even turn up – but is this where she decided she would never be in awe of anyone again? That others would have to be in awe of her? Just a thought. Anyway, she continues. “So I latched on to Malcolm, but despite my loyalty, he kind of broke the relationship and the more you invest in somebody the more bitter it is when you split up. The more you’ve sacrificed the more you feel it when you separate. But then I got a boyfriend and all hell broke loose. I’m not going to say any more about that, but I had lost interest in Malcolm intellectually at that point. And it’s a shame because he was a very intelligent and clever and creative person and he just needed success. He just wanted something very superficial that he could use and I don’t think he ever really learnt anything from a certain point on. So I found him very boring eventually.” When he died two years ago, did you feel bereaved? “I was sad, yes,” she says.

She had another son, Joe, by McLaren. From what she says, I don’t think mothering was ever her bag. “I was very, very bored because you can’t read or do anything. It’s lovely to have children, but mostly I treated my children as if they weren’t my own. I treated them as people rather than my product. I didn’t ever pamper them or baby them or anything like that. I didn’t give them the routine you should give children, and all kinds of things like that.” Joe, she says, grew up particularly quickly. “Because Malcolm was very mad, Joe behaved like my husband. He knew his dad was irresponsible.” Joe went on to found the lingerie brand Agent Provocateur. And Ben? “And what is Ben up to these days?” “Don’t ask!” she says. She then adds, “He doesn’t do very much. He does a bit as a photographer and just about makes it pay.” She may be harder than we think.

But is she happy with Andreas? You bet. How does it work? Who, for example, does the cooking? She does, she says, “because he does the washing machine and vacuuming”. But she’s not very interested in all that and, instead, asks, “Have you read my manifesto?” Yes, I lie. And she then talks about the rainforests and climate change. “I mean, the scientists tell us, first of all, that it is all going to be chaos and natural catastrophes will be happening more often – more terrible, more intense. That’s what’s happening and what they are saying will happen…”

She is exhausting, but such a one-off; not just the gloriously exotic bird that escaped from the zoo, but a bird that may well be the last of its species. I think we all know we should prize her well.


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On the eve Of Dubai fashiOn Week, aiR talks tO its cReative DiRectOR anD shOWcasing DesigneRs tO gauge theiR OpiniOn Of What, until nOW, has been a much-maligneD event.

T he movers and shakers shaping the emirate’s fledgling fashion world have their work cut out. To date, the Dubai Fashion Week (DFW) – staged bi-annually and now in its fifth year – has been subject to heavy criticism, the

worst of which deemed it lacking in knowledge of the Arab world and showcasing mediocre designs before a sea of empty seats. In fact, so sharp were the critics’ claws that DFW’s then-show director Marc Robinson called its next staging a “do-or-die situation” after its autumn/winter 2011 showcase flopped.

To date, DFW has set out to serve as a platform from which designers of myriad nationalities can vent their creative visions before key trade buyers – retailers, distributors, potential franchisees and agents – keen to establish a presence in the Middle East. Buyers have been somewhat thin on the ground, but after accusations

of being ‘Indian-centric’ the show has started to deliver an increase in the amount of regional talent (Emirati, Bahraini, Lebanese, Qatari and Egyptian) on the runway, with a surge in intricate abayas sauntering their way elegantly down the catwalk.

This season’s show (October 20-24) marries international designers from cities like India, Pakistan, London, and Australia and more established Arab talent, and also sees a new creative director, Simon P Lock, at its helm; a man who brings Sydney, New York, Hong Kong and Miami Fashion Week experience with him. Models, meanwhile, are being flown in from overseas to add an “international caliber” of participant.

Change, then, is afoot, which Lock hopes will eventually lead to the staging of a Middle East fashion week in Dubai. But what of fashion in Dubai right now? Does it have the public interest and the requisite design talent to fuel it?

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Dubai Fashion Week really started out of the strength of the region’s Haute Couture designers. There’s a long history in the Middle East of wonderful dressmakers and that’s what established the show and remains the strength of the industry. After working in this part of the globe, I’ve formed the opinion that Dubai is actually the couture centre of the world. The business generated here in couture dresses far exceeds what’s happening in Paris.

DFW does represent a good business opportunity – as is evident in leading international fashion weeks around the world – and if the event can be seen by designers as a valuable resource to participate in this will be the first step in attaching other interested commercial partners. Already we have Furne One, a tremendous ex-pat designer and amazing couturier who is based here and has designed for the likes of Katy Perry and Jennifer Lopez’s world tours. Plus Amber Ferez, a famed designer of abayas who, with his creativity and innovation of the abaya, is incredible.

The event has only been fraught with problems up until now because there hasn’t been a clear strategy for its growth and development. One of my first roles was to work with event director Rohit Sabiki to establish a three-year plan for the event that covers the next six seasons. We now have new foundations on which to grow and develop the show. These are redesigning the event to make sure it’s better for designers to present their collections in a

more powerful way; its better connections with buyers and media, a private clientele and Haute Couture designers; and it’s the sponsors who drive it all: these are the key foundations of any fashion week anywhere in the world.

There are very few places elsewhere on the globe that can create a regional fashion week given that few cities want to relinquish their own event to participate in a local one. To date there has been no single fashion week from the Middle East that has really made an impact internationally. This is a great window for DFW. There is a huge opportunity to develop a real fashion week right here. Dubai is the perfect host in the region as it’s politically stable, can be marketed internationally and people will feel safe travelling to it. It also already has an enviable reputation as a modern dynamic city with all the five-star facilities that an international fashion week requires. More importantly, however, it has a huge depth of talent in local designers that will be the cornerstone foundation of the event. In three to five years it should be regarded as the fashion week of the Middle East, to be the place where everyone comes to see all of the great designs from around the region. Internationally the industry doesn’t have the time to travel all over the Middle East to review various collections, however if DFW can be the catalyst to bringing all of the best designers together this can really be the foundation of the event’s long-term success.

‘I’ve formed the opinion that Dubai is actually the couture centre of the world. The business generated here in couture dresses far exceeds what’s happening in Paris’

Simon P Lock, Creative Director, Australian Awarded the Australian Fashion Laureate, 2010


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I think DFW will become the best fashion event in the region but it can’t happen overnight. We need to work together to take it to the next level. For me, Dubai Fashion Week always presented itself as a good platform to showcase my designs and I’ve done so for the past two years. My designs [of abayas] are simple yet very elegant and distinctive. I have Emarati, Bahraini, Omani and Saudi clients and we also receive orders from Qatar, Kuwait and Yemen. These are fashionable women who are always up to date with the latest trends and always looking for new designs that take their breath away yet keep their elegance intact. The most popular designs today are our Vintage style, which is a mixture between the old and new. This is apt as there’s been a tremendous change in trends over the past five years due to the different mindsets of the older and younger generations: the older want practical and simple designs without having much of an interest in looking fashionable or stylish, while the younger generation wants to look practical and distinctive as a generation of fashion-conscious women. I love using new, fresh colours in abayas as well as blending new ideas and current trends to appeal to this new generation. As a designer, I find Dubai very appealing because of its popularity. It is also one of the most culturally diverse cities in the world and I would love to see more expats try to wear an abaya.

You’ll see in the shows that my collections are always strong, sexy and fun. My clientele here in Dubai is Arabic, with Emiratis from Dubai and Qataris, and I find these women like opulence and glamour. There are really creative people here in the region and they know what they want and how they want to look. There has been a change in the tastes and demands of Arabic women, though. The new generation wants something simple – but still striking. They have adopted more of the modern fashions and tend tend to appreciate more of whatever they see that’s new in the industry. There is not so much of a need to design modest clothes in the Middle East as you might think. Some women are more conservative, but it all depends on the personality. My work here has brought me international exposure – I worked with Katy Perry on her world tour and designed The Breaking Records dress that she wore to the VMA – she has five number one hits which is what inspired my literal take; she loved it. I continue to show at Dubai Fashion Week, as I have for three seasons, because I believe in Simon P Lock’s vision. He understands what designers need to show off their designs and I think it can take off from here. As for the Dubai fashion scene becoming as big as London or New York; why not? The Middle East has its own beauty to show. For me, Dubai is the place to be living and working in as a designer because it’s all here; the tailors, the materials, fabrics – we have it all.

Furne One, Fashion designer, Filipino Owner Amato Haute Couture, Dubai

Hend Almutawa, Fashion designer, Emirati Founder & Executive Director, Nabrman Fashion & Design


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Why do I have to be as funny as I Was?Steve Martin was once the world’s funniest man. Today he is worth $110 million, is an acclaimed author and banjo player. What went wrong?

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The day before I meet him, Steve Martin heard that a friend of his had been shot dead in her Mercedes-Benz a few blocks from Sunset Boulevard. He quickly memorialised her on

Twitter. “Avoir [sic] Ronnie [sic] Chasen,” he wrote, “a Hollywood staple whom I worked with throughout my career, murdered last night in Beverly Hills. No humor here.” The following morning he corrected “avoir” to “au revoir”, and was still thinking about the mistake halfway through our lunch. “That’s the trouble,” he says. “You can’t take a tweet back.” This is true. You can’t untweet a tweet, and the result in Ms Chasen’s case — appropriately for a publicist — is a farewell from one of the iconic comedians of her lifetime that was quickly shunted back down a queue of jokes written to promote his latest novel.

Some of these tweets were pretty funny. Martin had an especially good time with a series of acronymic riffs on the book’s title, An Object of Beauty: “OOBIE DOOBY, ANOBOBEA, NObjectOfBeauty, nOoB, AOOB, ObOB, BOOB, AnObOBe, BeanO, anobob.” He ended up letting followers know that he’d just done a TV interview “promoting O’BOOTY”. So I knew that online, homicides permitting, Martin is very much all gags all the time. He had also left a voicemail asking to bring our meeting forward half an hour and instructing me to “do nothing” if the new arrangement was acceptable — thereby setting himself up for a half-hour wait in a busy Manhattan trattoria if I failed to get the message. That seemed funny, too. He arrives, silently and rather suddenly, and talks extremely seriously for half an hour about art, character and prose. “I would say that prose to me, and theatre — but I don’t really write theatre any more — is the one solo process,” he says at one point. “Sometimes in prose you’re essentially talking to yourself, but talking is not prose. You have to figure out when you are talking aloud and turn it into sentences.”

It is worth trying to picture the scene. Martin is wearing brown cords, a dark green shirt and bifocals that adjust to the light. He talks quietly, without any gesticulation. He drinks iced tea; his food a sensible plate of antipasto. This is the man who took America by storm nearly 40 years ago by sticking his tongue through paper napkins on The Johnny Carson Show and pulling magic props from an unzipped fly; the man who made it big with a five-inch prosthetic nose in Roxanne; the man my Bostonian wife grew up worshipping as the “wild and crazy guy” who hosted Saturday Night Live with an arrow through his head; the man my kids know as Clouseau in The Pink Panther and The Pink Panther 2 (and they know nothing of Peter Sellers). Somewhere amid this Martin put on a white suit and reinvented stand-up comedy for stadium audiences. He wrote films and plays and went out with so many beautiful women that the banjo, which he still takes very seriously, almost became sexy. He has written that the Seventies were his decade, and he’s right; he practically owned them. But they were a while ago. If he wasn’t still so

famous you might guess, in 2011, after listening to him for a while, that he was a minor league art history professor who wrote fiction on the side.

Sitting across from him and his antipasto I cautiously put to him the view that he is not as funny as he was. It’s a view based on films such as a 1999 remake of The Out of Towners and, yes, his Pink Panther outings, that have either underperformed at the box office or suffered by comparison with the originals in the eyes of critics. It is not a view that he shares. “Well,” he says with steely patience, “when people say ‘not as funny as he was’, first I say, ‘and what have you seen lately of mine?’ And when they criticise Pink Panther I say, ‘Have you seen it?’ I doubt that they have seen it. But I think the movies are really funny. I really do... And I know that every scene in my banjo show is actually quite funny.” He pauses. “They don’t see the stuff I do. And, by the way, why do I have to be as funny as I was? Where’s the rule?”

There is no rule. With a net worth estimated at $110 million, a consuming hobby as an art collector, a body of work spanning five decades and wide circles of A-list friends Martin could stop telling jokes right now. He could never write another word and still be regarded as a national institution. But he is even less comfortable with that idea than with being thought of as less funny than he used to be. “I don’t believe in that,” he says. “It’s like, oh really, please, because I know all this is ephemeral.” He describes Jamie Niven (the son of David), talking about the late Peter Ustinov as a great writer, playwright, actor and director. “But people don’t even know who Ustinov was. And that’s just a little reminder. So I don’t feel like a national whatever — I don’t even want to use that word — but on the other hand I can’t do what I used to do. It’s like asking a painter, ‘Paint like you used to paint, that’s what we really want’, and I can’t do that.”

At 66, the star of LA Story and Planes, Trains and Automobiles wants you to know that he is neither washed up nor slowing down, but doing what he has always done: trying new stuff, hoping it works, worrying that it won’t and promoting the heck out of it to give it the best chance that he can. His output is prodigious. Besides the novel, his second, he has a new banjo album out (his first won an Emmy) and this month a film, The Big Year, his 48th, in which he stars opposite Jack Black and the impossibly winning Owen Wilson. When Martin says that he can’t do what he used to, he means that it wouldn’t feel right artistically. When I compliment him on the absence of cliché in An Object of Beauty, which is about an oversexed female Manhattan art dealer, he says, “Oh, good, thank you. I work very hard at that”, and quotes Ron Howard, the director, telling him that the older you get the harder it is to make a decent movie. “I said, ‘Why?’ and he said, ‘Because you won’t do the cliché’.”

Another big screen name Martin quotes reverentially is Peter Sellers. At the zenith of Martin’s stand-up comedy career, which coincided with his first starring roles in film,


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he and Sellers met in Honolulu. “He gave me a moment of encouragement that was so stunning,” Martin recalls. “I was [still] doing my stand-up. I’d just done The Jerk, which was one of the worst-reviewed movies ever. We were both in Hawaii promoting our films and he stopped me and said, ‘I know you’re under a lot of criticism right now, but I know what you’re doing’. And that was it. It was, like, wow.” The year was 1980 and Martin was doing a couple of things that Sellers may have understood better than most. He was subverting the whole business of comedy so that he could entertain huge crowds without the need for anything so pedestrian as a punchline, and he was using his success to get into film and out of the stand-up business in which he had made his name — because it had also made him depressed and desperately lonely.

Twenty years later he told an audience at a New York book reading that his stand-up years were “the most miserable time in my life”. Why, then, did he keep at it for 18 years? “I had worked on this thing my whole life so I didn’t have anything else to do,” he says. “I think there was an element of sticking it out, and then having something happen that was completely unexpected.” Which was? “Success.” He talks about the shift from 100 to 500 to 1,000-seater venues, and retells a joke from his achingly candid memoir, Born Standing Up: “One night you’re going to the gig and a limo shows up to take you there, and you say to your agent, ‘I don’t need a limo, that’s ridiculous’. And the next night you go, ‘Where’s the limo?’ It happens very quickly. You say, ‘this is my little act, I can’t play to 7,000 people’. And then you can.”

Anyone who missed Martin singing King Tut, c 1978, in a boy-pharaoh’s headdress and that flared white suit, can catch it now on YouTube — and get a sense of the strangeness and isolation that he felt doing what was essentially an inspired student goof-off in front of audiences big enough to fill Carnegie Hall. His friend Deborah Solomon, an art critic for The New York Times, says that he’s still always looking for “the never-uttered, never-before-painted, never-before-sung form of expression”.

King Tut was certainly uncharted comic territory, and it made Martin rich. But success on that scale came only after the 14 years that he says he spent learning his craft and refining his act. That had more to do with a powerful need to get out from under a great dark cloud that hung over his youth — his father. Four years ago Glenn Vernon Martin — a would-be actor reduced to a property agent — was exposed in Born Standing Up as violent, embittered and unable until his final hours to acknowledge talents in his son that he had longed to find in himself. He gave such beatings that Martin’s mother had only to say “Just wait till Glenn gets home” for her son to feel sick with fear. Once Martin Sr went so far with a belt that the nine-year-old Steve had to wear long sleeves and trousers to school to hide the welts. “For the rest of my childhood, we hardly spoke,” Martin wrote. Later his father couldn’t bring

‘I realise we’re in a celebrity-fan relationship, not a person-to-person relationship. I might come off as aloof but I’m not shy’


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‘If I meet somebody and they immediately go, “Hey, what was it like making The Jerk?”, I have no interest in talking about it. None at all’


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Lacey Yaeger. Lacey is nearly but not quite the New York art market’s answer to Lisbeth Salander. She’s less honest and more manipulative but just as single-minded — “This strange kind of personality that uses the truth to harm you,” Martin says. “The kind of person that says, ‘By the way, don’t get involved with me because I don’t want a boyfriend’, and then they act like they’re your girlfriend... They stay in your head for a long time as you try to work them out.” Could he be talking about Anne Heche, who went out with Martin for two years in the 1990s before breaking his heart and moving in with Ellen DeGeneres? Apparently not. “He told me [Lacey’s] an amalgam of all the horrible women he’s ever dated,” Solomon says. That would also seem to rule out Victoria Tennant, the elfin British actress whom he met on All of Me (1984) and married after co-starring with her in LA Story seven years later. On Tennant he stays nice-but-neutral: “She has a good, funny personality and a quick British wit.” They were divorced in 1994. Since then Martin has married Anne Stringfield, a journalist and former fact-checker on The New Yorker, for which he writes occasional humorous pieces.

Stringfield is 28 years younger than Martin and neither of them has children — yet. He has ascribed this omission to selfishness. When I suggest that having children rather than not having them is what brings out the selfishness in people, he is surprisingly responsive. “I think being a family man on screen [Parenthood, Father of the Bride, Father of the Bride Part II] has made me much more open to being a family man in life,” he says. “I had a dim view of family so I didn’t even think about it growing up. The idea of having children didn’t enter my mind. It was never even a consideration. And then when I started playing fathers and hanging around children more I thought, ‘Oh, this is kind of interesting’.” To the point where he might still have some of his own? “That’s where it becomes private.”

Cue change of subject. Conveniently, there’s one in front of my nose in the form of three long fingernails that turn out to be fake. They are for the twanging of banjo strings in the claw-hammer style for which Martin is best known among aficionados. It seems a good time to bring up Woody Allen, the only other New York film polymath of pensionable age whose talent and stickability allow him to write his own ticket apparently without deference to the whims of Hollywood. Martin is a fan, and not only of the ragtime clarinet that Allen plays. Allen is “masterful, a great auteur and a great writer,” Martin says. “I only wish I could be as good as [him].” To the suggestion that Allen, the perpetual wimp, might envy Martin his leading-man physique, he says, still serious: “I don’t think he wants to be me at all. I really don’t. I don’t think he wants my life.”

Steve Martin’s life doesn’t seem half bad, and his self-deprecation seems to be a luxury of success. “Well,” he says. “If I don’t do it, the papers will.”

himself to utter a generous word about his son’s success. “So I never asked his advice,” Martin says. They were reconciled as his father lay dying in 1997. “I would say I worked at it, but he wanted it, too,” Martin says. The passage from his memoir is worth quoting in full:

“At last [my father] said, ‘You did everything I wanted to do’. ‘I did it for you’, I said. Then we wept for the lost years. I was glad I didn’t say the more complicated truth: ‘I did it because of you’.”

Martin admits that the line can be taken as an explanation for much of his career. “It’s a psychological answer that I came up with when I wrote a memoir 20 years later,” he says, but it is no less valuable for that. Solomon, who calls him a “one-man Arts Council” because of his generosity towards others, suspects that this nurturing spirit is a direct result of not having been nurtured as a child. One wonders if the same is true of another quality routinely attributed to him — his shyness. Solomon says he’s “minimalist, precise and brainy” and hilarious at dinner parties, but not shy. Martin takes issue with the whole vexatious premise, recalling a broadcast by Howard Stern, the shock jock, talking to another radio guy who was complaining that he’d got nothing out of Martin in an interview. “My first thought was, what were the questions?” Martin wonders. “Because it all depends on the questions; that applies in life, too. If I meet somebody and they immediately go, ‘Hey, what was it like making The Jerk?’, I have no interest in talking about it. None at all. I realise we’re in a celebrity-fan relationship, not a person-to-person relationship. I might come off as aloof, but I’m not shy.”

By normal standards this may be true. By Hollywood standards, he has to be counted reticent at the very least. Otherwise Linda Ronstadt would surely not have asked him: “Steve, do you often date girls and not try to sleep with them?” He doesn’t volunteer his answer, but he does say this much about life as a sex symbol; about the ring of faces that presumably surrounds him as a movie star the moment he leaves the sanctuary of his home: “First, I don’t even see it. It’s not something I’m looking for, it’s not something I’m interested in. If they’re smiling at me it’s because they recognise me. It’s not because it’s romantic... I just don’t believe in any kind of way that I should do anything.”

This may seem unconvincing given his frequent pairings with much younger women in art and life, but art is art and his life is not like yours or mine, and hasn’t been for decades. His public reticence, moreover, is consistent with his private behaviour as a much younger man on tour. He didn’t raise hell. He went to college libraries and bought used art reference books. His collection grew into a substantial library that he has plundered over the past two and a half years while researching An Object of Beauty. One result is a series of slightly clunky art history digressions dotted through the book, punctuating a more accessible series of sex scenes featuring his alpha female,


AIR Nacho Figueras_Oct.indd 46 9/27/2011 6:11:48 PM

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Polo’s Poster Boy Argentinian Nacho Figueras

has been voted the second sexiest man in the world, is the face of Ralph Lauren and has clashed with Britain’s princes. Lydia Slater saddles upfor a chat.

N acho Figueras is lounging like a panther across a sofa in The Lanesborough. As I walk in, he leaps to his feet, then lifts my hand to his chiselled lips, a

glossy swathe of dark hair falling across his brow. And they call football the beautiful game, I reflect, as I sink blushing on to the sofa next to him.

Nacho, 34, is not only one of the best polo players in the world, he’s also the face and physique of Ralph Lauren’s Polo fragrance. He looks like he’s stepped straight out of the pages of a Jilly Cooper novel: his skin is conker brown, shaded with just enough designer stubble; his upper body tapers in a V to his narrow waist; his muscled legs cause his designer trousers to strain at the seams. And then there’s the lazy, creamy Argentinian accent that turns ‘polo’ to ‘pwollo’ in a knee-buckling manner. Last year, readers of Vanity Fair voted Nacho the second most handsome man in the world behind Robert Pattinson but ahead of Brad Pitt. So it’s not hard to understand why the white-jeaned polo groupies (the Stick Chicks) have his brooding image on their bedroom walls, or why his glamorous wife travels with him wherever he goes.

All this focus on his looks is, he assures me, a matter of indifference to him. “Pure athleticism is what I am interested in. I am passionate about the sport and my country, and I know this is part of it,” he drawls. Given that his mission is to popularise polo, he’s sensible enough to realise that his pout and cheekbones are a multi-goal advantage in the publicity game. Nacho’s looks secured him his slot on Oprah, not to mention a recent Gossip Girl cameo. And when he played against Prince Harry in a charity match at the Manhattan Polo Classic on Governors

Island his chums Madonna, Kate Hudson and Chloé Sevigny were cheering him on in the crowd. When Harry’s team beat his, Harry spat a mouthful of champagne into Nacho’s face, but it didn’t dampen their friendship. “The princes are nice, simple, sensible guys. I think they’re great. Harry especially, he’s so laid-back and he’s not into himself at all. The only reason he went to New York and put himself through all that was to raise money for those kids. He means what he does with all his heart – he’s not there because someone else says he has to be.”

Strange as it now seems, polo was not Nacho’s first love. Naturally sporty, he was a champion hurdler who played tennis, football and skied. When he was nine, his parents moved from the south of Argentina to Buenos Aires, and his father, an agronomist, bought a farm on the outskirts of the city next to a friend’s estate. “This guy had a son who was my age and he was amazing at polo. It was tough at the beginning, to see my friend riding and playing much better than me,” says the ever-competitive Nacho. To begin with, he had a single pony. “In Argentina, you can always get a pony from somewhere. We didn’t have a lot of money.” Nacho’s commitment to polo came after he was chosen to represent his country at hurdles. “I trained as never before, three hours a day,” he says. “I was as fit as I could be. And I was beaten by these two Brazilian guys. I thought, ‘This is going to be the rest of my life, I’m always going to be third because they’re just better than me.’ I don’t like third place,” he goes on, “so I thought, ‘No! I am going to do something else.’ I started looking at my best friend, and I realised that he was great at polo but I wasn’t as far away from him as I used to be.”


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‘I have too many horses. I’m like Carrie Bradshaw and shoes’

By the age of 17, he was a professional, and he started playing for White Birch, a team co-owned by American businessman Neil Hirsch. Now he captains and co-owns Black Watch with Hirsch, and is ranked in the world’s top 100. “I am driven to be better,” he says. “A lot of the work is done by the horse, so polo is generous – you can play at a high level until you’re 45, and getting better horses makes you better.” How many has he got? “Too many,” he says. “I’m like Carrie Bradshaw and shoes.” He has 15 ponies in the US, three here, and 250 of varying ages at his farm in Argentina. Considering that a polo mare recently made $490,000 at auction, this is a sizeable portfolio. “For special horses, you pay crazy prices,” says Nacho. “That is why I breed mine.”

What Nacho looks for in his ponies is “an action like a squirrel”. When he was approached by the photographer Bruce Weber 11 years ago, at a dinner party held by Kelly Klein, ex-wife of Calvin, in the Hamptons, he hoped modelling might help him buy more squirrelly mounts. “Then I realised that I could make extra money, and raise awareness of the sport.” Nacho started modelling for

Ralph Lauren in 2000 and has been under contract since 2005. Last year, he was made the face of the World of Polo fragrances, including Polo Black, Polo Blue and Polo Modern Reserve, and Ralph Lauren now provides all the clothes for Black Watch. Black Watch is also a label under the Ralph Lauren umbrella, offering tight polo shirts emblazoned with Nacho’s number 2 (and unforgiving to wear unless you’ve got his rippling abdominals). “The idea is for me to make it a billion-dollar brand,” says Nacho.

It’s hard to see where he’s going to find the time to build his brand on top of his other commitments. Polo demands an extraordinary investment from its stars, who travel the world with entourages of ponies, grooms, blacksmiths and vets and Stick Chicks galore. “It looks very glamorous, but I am just the cherry on the cake,” says Nacho. He might play in England in May, New York in June, St Tropez, Santa Barbara and the Hamptons over the summer, Argentina during the winter, and spring in Palm Beach. “We’re gypsies,” he says. “I came over here on the plane yesterday with 25 other guys, all of us talking and drinking maté [herbal tea], with seven or eight babies and kids running around. My wife was there and her sister, who’s married to a Chilean player – we’re all very close.” He always travels with his wife, the equally comely photographer Delfina Blaquier, and their three children Hilario, eleven, Aurora, six, and baby Artemio.

This means he’s not a regular at the polo circuit’s after-match parties, a speciality of Jack Kidd and Jamie Morrison. “You won’t see Rafa Nadal drinking and smoking till 3am,” says Nacho disapprovingly. “We show up to the party, but then we go home to sleep. You have to be really fit for polo. I ride for two or three hours a day, I run, I go to the gym four times a week and I am very healthy with my food.” Home is a polo community in Pilar, just outside Buenos Aires. “My neighbours are players and my house has a polo field,” he says. Here is where he relaxes by painting abstract oils. But nothing appeals to him like endangering his life on a horse. So far, he’s broken his nose twice, his wrist, his collarbone and his ankle, which may worry Ralph Lauren but doesn’t bother him.

“I have three ambitions,” he says. “The first is to be the best player I can be. The second is to make the sport more popular, and the third is to raise money for charity. I can be a polo player and raise awareness while I’m helping people. I think I am making the sport more popular,” he goes on shyly. “A lot of things recently have been giving me the impression I’m on the right track.” Im

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M O T O R I N G

all the world like a two seater F1 chassis. That’s because it pretty much is. Weighing less than 80kg yet with the kind of structural rigidity that would make a tank greener with envy, this unique MonoCell is the perfect base. Meanwhile, F1 style lightweight engineering runs through the car’s core, from the aluminium brakes to several plastic body panels. Yes, you read right, that’s plastic body panels on a car that will cost more than €170,000. But then it is in the name of performance rather than cost-cutting and there’s plenty of super expensive carbon-fibre too.

Then there’s the 3.8-litre V8 mid-mounted engine that pumps out 600bhp and 443lb/ft of torque, which is immense. This is race technology and helps the car rev all the way to 8500rpm. When it does the sound is other worldly and while McLaren has yet to release the full performance figures it will comfortably nail 100kph in 3.7s and should top 320kph.

The Seamless Shift Gearbox will help it on its way, and the shift times are easily comparable to most opposition. Top speed and even acceleration is less than half this story, though, as an F1 team and manufacturer of McLaren’s reputation simply couldn’t unleash a handling dog. This car has to show a clean pair of heels to more or less every other car in the world in the corners – and it does. It’s blindingly quick in a straight line, round bends, everywhere in fact, and on paper should leave the 458 Italia in its wake. The only disappointing thing is that it’s almost too composed, too good at everything it does, and that comes at the cost of a little drama.

The MP4-12C might not be the most spectacular supercar on the market, but then it is perhaps the most accomplished in its price range. And if the Prancing Horse just isn’t for you, then this is the car you’ve been waiting for.

F or more than two decades the McLaren F1 was the greatest car in the world, bar none, and while Ayrton Senna and

Alain Prost demolished the opposition on track, Gordon Murray’s supercar wiped the floor with the opposition off it. Now, after all this time, we finally have the successor, the MP4-12C. And it’s good. Really good.

The front view is almost underwhelming and, dare we say it, generic. That pinched-up front splitter looks stunning and the gullwing doors that hark back to the F1 road car are a work of art. But the front end has a hint of Ferrari 430, Noble M600 and some unnamed Japanese sports coupe about it.

The rear is more intriguing as the MP4-12C’s rump is dominated by the V8’s cooling needs; the diffuser aids rear downforce and helps the flat underfloor stick the car to the ground, twin exhausts exit high and central and most of the back end is left open to extract hot air, while the rear lamps are cleverly hidden in the top two horizontal black bars.

Inside it’s much the same story: clean, efficient, clinical, inoffensive and yet somehow lacking wow factor. It’s comfortable in there (this is no trackday warrior) and is indeed billed as a ‘London-Monaco’ car, which is a seriously long drive, but there’s precious little window dressing. Yet for those that understand engineering and don’t like the reek of testosterone that flies from the tailpipes of the Italian opposition, this lion in wolf’s clothing might be just what they’ve been waiting for. Its beauty runs much deeper than the McLaren’s skin.

At the core of the MP4-12C – which owes its snappy name to the 1997 World Championship winning car driven by Mika Hakkinen – is a lightweight carbon-fibre bathtub that looks for

Nick Hall runs the rule of McLaren’s much-awaited supercar follow up

Formula Won

The NumbersMcLaren MP4-12C

Price guide: $220,000

0-100km/h: 3.7s

Top speed: 320km/h

Power: 600bph

Torque: 343lb/ft

AIR Motoring_Oct.indd 50 9/26/2011 5:06:17 PM

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M O T O R I N G

M PowerWhy BMW’s testosterone-fuelled sports saloon brings the romance back to driving


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The NumbersBMW 1 Series M

Price guide: $63,000

0-100km/h: 4.9s

Top speed: 250km/h

Power: 340bhp

Torque: 330lb/ft

S lide the BMW 1 Series M through just one bend and you’ll have the answer to the question that seemingly confounded the

critics before it arrived: could this small, boxy sports saloon prove to be a true M car? Yes, it can.

BMW is fiercely proud of its M division cars, which generally show a clean pair of heels to the offerings from Audi and Mercedes on track. In the past they have been aspirated screamers and the first, the E30 M3 was widely regarded as the finest of the breed. This, in many ways, is its spiritual successor.

Loosely based on the 135i Coupe, which hardly set the world alight in sales terms, it looks a whole lot butcher here. The boxy stance is almost gone, replaced with cartoonishly powerful bulges and muscular striations. This little car is so in your face it’s almost rude. The swooping front splitter looks the absolute business, with a variety of winglets and inlets to direct the airflow, and that and the pumped up wheelarches add a badly needed touch of testosterone.

The interior is tailored in Alcantara with orange stitching, a chunky steering wheel and M Sport seats that hold you at the apex. There’s the latest iDrive system, which gets better and less confusing with each passing generation, and a stubby little proper manual gearstick linked to a six-speed ‘box – no paddles here.

The three-litre twin turbo engine starts with a mechanical rasp, which quickly settles to a booming idle from those four shotgun-style exhaust pipes.

Now the car isn’t going to redefine the word fast – that’s what the M5 is for – but with 330lb/ft of torque it has a much more even spread of power than recent BMW M cars that only kicked in with lots of revs on the clock and the sound of thunder growing outside.

This car hits 100kph in 4.9s and tops out at 250kph. But it does it all with a sense of urgency that makes it feel faster, which is increasingly important in a modern world festooned with speed cameras and angry cops. And thanks to the real gear change, meaty steering and a rear-drive set-up, this is a car that’s fun at any speed and brings a little romance back to driving.

So there are way bigger, faster cars in BMW’s line-up, but rest assured that the 1 Series M is a proper M car. In fact it might be the best one of the lot.


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G a s t r o n o m y

I have always said that food is the best healer. So when I once smashed my leg in five places by falling down my stairs, I knew that I needed to find an hotel with a great

restaurant where I could convalesce. Naturally, I thought that France would be the best antidote to melancholy and the Provençal spring sun the best provider of vitamin D.

I was looking for quiet luxury; good food that would be simultaneously hearty and elegant; a spa that would heal me, and a place with some character where I could spend

time with my son, Oliver, who is an actor and my best friend. Le Mas Candille, near Mougins, seemed to provide all this in the guise of a beautiful Relais & Châteaux hotel in vast grounds with one-Michelin-star cuisine. It is also close to Nice and Cannes, and a stone’s throw from Mougins and Grasse.

Once I’d negotiated getting off the TGV with my broken leg (strong arms lifted me and eased me into a wheelchair), we drove up to the hotel through a simple but dramatic

Raymond Blanc reveals why Provence cooking always nourishes the soul, while Fiona Sims asks nine more culinary maestros for their choices

Where the top chefs eat on holiday

AIR Gastronomy.indd 54 9/27/2011 6:23:43 PM

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valley of silver olive trees. When I saw the building housing the bedrooms, I felt a little apprehensive because it was so obviously new. But it turned out to have been landscaped intelligently: set into the slopes with swimming pools, private gardens, terraces and secret gardens.

Am I an easy customer? No. I know that having me as a guest is a test for any hotelier, but having to cope with a disabled me must seem an ordeal. Not for the young team at Le Mas Candille. Some places, when you first enter them, make you feel estranged and separate. Not here.

It is obviously a well-loved place; every person with whom I came into contact made me feel he or she was integral to the experience I was having as a guest. In my magnificent suite, light poured into the room, enhancing the sense of space (there was a vast bathroom, too). As well as the finest cotton bedsheets, there was sensitive lighting, plugs in the right places and a huge terrace with wondrous views of Grasse, the world perfume capital.

A wheelchair was waiting to take me to the restaurant in the 18th-century Provençal house, which also has a wonderful view of Grasse from its terrace. Here the chef Serge Gouloumes plies his craft. I was famished, and so was Oliver. Our warm welcome included taking my crutches and placing them nicely within reach — in a champagne bucket stand. It was mortifying because they weren’t even fashionable crutches like you would get in France — and every step I took made a distinct ‘clunk’ sound.

The feast started: niçoise olives, tender radishes and savoury mini-pastries were devoured. Serge wanted to give us 20 courses, but we decided against this — were we to eat like this for six days I’d need two pairs of crutches. I started with petits-gris escargots, wrapped in herby rocket chlorophyll with new garlic purée, and mousseline of ratte potatoes, which was a triumph. This was followed by jasmine-steamed langoustines, mango salad and and basil Provençal vegetables, showing mastery in associating two difficult flavours and textures. I then enjoyed local cheeses ripened in their own cellars. A duo of Valrhona chocolate desserts were silky and cool, crowning a glorious meal. While Oliver ate his way through asparagus, lamb and Grand Marnier soufflé, we matched our food with the white Abbaye de Lérins, St-Pierre, 2006 and then an exceptional local red, Ch. Simone 2006, AOC Palette Rouge. Bliss.

There was torture involved in my stay, though, and it came from my French physiotherapist. You have to have broken a limb to appreciate the painful journeys and small humiliations, such as having to go up and down stairs on your bum. Every night, I would go to the spa for shiatsu or for relaxing massages, which were wonderful.

A week of massage and good food — Serge took us on a culinary tour of his native Provence, inspired by the flavours and textures of spring — and I’d never felt better. When I returned home to England my doctor told me that my bones had mended 60-70 per cent faster than a normal man of my age. It was almost a miracle. Like I said — good food is a great healer.

Where raymond eats in France

L’oasis, La napoule Stéphane Raimbault, inspired by travel in Japan, offers one of Provence’s best culinary experiences. Details: Rue Jean Honore Carle, 00 33 4 93 49 95 52.

L’ondine, cannesOn a beautiful beach, this restaurant serves fish caught that morning. Details: Boulevard de la Croisette,00 33 4 93 94 23 15.

Le resto des arts, mougins The restaurant where chef Serge Gouloumes, of Le Mas Candille, dines after he has finished his service. Details: 00 33 4 93 75 60 03.

Les Bacchanales, Vence Simple cuisine using quality produce from Vence’s small-scale producers. Details: 247 avenue de Provence, 00 33 4 93 24 19 19.

Le clos st Pierre, rouret The chef changes the menu here every day after he has returned from market. Details: 5 place de l’Elise 00 33 4 93 77 39 18.

Bistro d’antoine, old nice The bistro you wish was omnipresent in France. Details: 27 rue de la Prefecture, 00 33 493 85 39 57.


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BarcelonaEd WilsonI think Barcelona is the best city in Europe for eating. Take an early flight and get there for breakfast. I go straight to the central market, the Boqueria, just off the Ramblas, and head to El Quim for the best breakfast dish ever — huevos fritos con llanqueta, tiny white fish served with fried eggs. Cal Pep (00 34 93 310 7961) is an obvious choice — where all the chefs head, and it still rocks, but I never miss Els Pescadors (00 34 93 225 2018) behind the Olympic Village. For me, it’s the best fish restaurant in Barcelona. But for a truly great eating experience, visit Carme Ruscalleda at her three Michelin-starred restaurant, Sant Pau, just outside Barcelona (00 34 93 760 0662). It goes beyond your normal three-star restaurant.

MadridJason AthertonI went to Madrid for the first time three years ago and I was struck by the honesty of the food there. One of my favourites was chips with chopped fried egg on top — it was like a homecoming. For something smarter, I’d recommend the tapas bar created by the two Michelin-starred chef Paco Roncero, in the NH Paseo del Prado, called Estado Puro (00 34 91 330 2400). He was at El Bulli just after me, and they do a fantastic take on traditional tapas — tripe, chickpeas and smoked paprika, anchovy and tomato on toasted bread. It’s always worth trying to get a table at Casa Lucio (00 34 91 365 8217). It’s the Ivy of Madrid, and does wonderful hake dishes. I had the chopped egg and chips dish there, too.

CoonawarraRoger Jones One region I love is remote Coonawarra. Pipers of Penola (00 61 8 8737 3999) offers world-class food. A highlight was the sirloin of Wagyu beef, with wild mushroom tortellini and Parmesan foam, matched by an array of aged cabernet sauvignons. Coonawarra is famous for its terra rossa soil, and has been producing wines since the 1890s. The cabernet sauvignons are especially pleasing, fresh and seductive when young, and amazingly complex with age. Other highlights include the Hollick Restaurant & Cellar Door (00 61 8 8737 2318). Besides innovative dishes such as seared scallops and snake beans, here is a winery making some great varietals such as semillon sauvignon and iconic cabernets.

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Cape TownAngela Hartnett If you want to see how far South Africa has come on the food front, go to the Old Biscuit Mill in Cape Town, a farmers’ market in the Woodstock area of the city that operates on Saturdays. Everything there is made in the country. We ate some spectacular food at Terroir at Kleine Zalze, and at the Rust en Vrede wine estate, where the chef, David Higgs, produced some great dishes, but we also enjoyed the simple stuff, such as the battered snoek at Fish on the Rocks in Hout Bay.

AucklandAnna Hansen Auckland has such a diverse population and this really shows in the food. I always return to the Ponsonby Road Bistro (00 64 09 360 1611), more for the vibe than the food, but the food is good — I love the hot and sour clam broth. I also discovered Good One (00 64 09 360 5040) a very cool retro warehouse coffee place with vintage machines — they roast their own coffee. And I love Madame JoJo’s Foodstore in Remuera (00 64 09 523 5545) — it does the best takeaway roasts and pies.

ProvenceAnthony Demetre I keep going back to Provence. It’s a foodie’s paradise. I love the Gard best because it has retained its authenticity and has a great sense of community. I head to Uzès, where we regularly rent a villa. I’ve known this young cook there for eight years. He has this great restaurant called Le Tracteur (00 33 4 66 37 1931). And I also always go to Lisa M (00 33 4 66 22 92 12), just outside Uzès; her food is wonderful. I also love Alain Ducasse’s La Bastide de Moustiers (00 33 4 9270 4747).

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CopenhagenKevin Mangeolles Noma (00 45 32 96 3297) is a two Michelin-starred restaurant that every chef talks about. I love the fact it felt so casual, instead of the usual reverence you feel in Michelin-starred places. There are hardly any sauces here, which surprised me, as European cooking is so sauce-based. The flavours are so clean it actually made me question some of things I do. Stand-out dish? The langoustine served on a rock — I’m not kidding. We also had a good meal at Restaurant Herman in the Nimb hotel (00 45 88 70 00 00) — very European, but again with clean flavours.

Hermanus Frances Atkins I’ve just returned from South Africa where I go for my hit of sun — the food is outstanding. This year we went to the Marine, Hermanus (00 27 28 313 1000), and I spent hours working my way through its seafood restaurant menu. If you time it right, you can watch whales at this Relais & Châteaux member, too. You’ll not taste fish quite like it. One dish that stood out was kingfish cooked Cape Malay-style with lentils and spices. The best meal, though, was at The Cellars-Hohenort in Constantia (00 27 21 794 2137), where the chef, Peter Templehoff, did a cracking quail terrine.

San Sebastian Tom Kitchin For me, San Sebastián in Spain is the place for foodies. We visited a couple of the three Michelin-starred restaurants — Akelarre (00 34 943 31 1209) and Martin Berasatagui (00 34 943 366 471), which were amazing, but it was the tapas bars that provided the real excitement. They had produce like you’ve never seen. I’ll never forget standing at a bar with some grilled langoustine smothered in slices of truffle. The whole tapas grazing thing is great culture. The two to try in San Sebastian are Bar Ganbara (Calle de San Jeronim, 21) and Bar Txepetxa (Calle Pescaderia, 5).

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How To MasTer awkward Lies

Lesson #1DownhiLL LiesThere are three steps to adjusting for a downhill lie. Firstly, decide how the slope will affect ball flight. On a downhill lie, the ball will inevitably fly lower than normal and the steeper the slope, the lower the ball flight, so be sure to choose a higher number club to help get the ball airborne quicker. Secondly, adjusting your address and set-up position is vital to the success of the strike. You must attempt to make your spine-angle perpendicular (90 degrees to the ground). This will force weight onto your leading foot and provide a feeling of falling down the slope. I always recommend a ball position as centered as possible to ensure a ball-first contact. Finally, swing, trying to keep your head still until the point of contact. This will promote a slightly more upper body swing and your weight should remain with the majority of its weight on the leading foot. Don’t be alarmed if you find yourself wandering down the slope – just as long as you hit the ball first. George Kasparis is a professional at Dubai Creek Golf & Yacht Club

Have you pLayed Here yeT?Monte Rei, PortugalOn the eastern side of the Algarve coast lies not one but two outstanding Jack Nicklaus designed courses, on which you can look north to the Serra do Caldeirão mountains and south to the Atlantic Ocean. That is, of course, if you can divert your attention from what’s a tricky course to score well on – eleven of the holes have water hazards. Off course you’ll be treated to the culinary wizardry of former El Bulli chef Jaime Perez – he learned his craft under the guidance of the masterful Ferrán Adrià – who has created an outstanding Mediterranean menu at the club’s fine dining eatery Vistas. monte-rei.com

Callaway’s spring 2012 apparel collection is released for sale this month having been tested in tournaments by Alvaro Quiros. The range, which aims to bridge the gap between on and off-course fashion, boasts garments that work to remove moisture from your body (and dry it quickly) while offering UPF 30+ protection.Perfect, then, for the testing playing conditions in the Middle East. Sadly, though, their powers do not extend to massively improving your short game.

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life’s a beachSeek out the world’s coolest beach clubs for the most stylish form of sun-drenched fun...

01. ONE Bal Harbour Resort, MiamiA rival for the members-only Soho Beach House, to join the ranks of ONE Bal you’ll have to be invited, but land a place on its guest list and you’ll soon be lounging on La Playa – its reserved 750-feet stretch along the Atlantic coast – atop fancy loungers, beneath billowing umbrellas and amid the US glitterati.

02. La Voile Rouge, St Tropez The birthplace of the beach club scene, this place – one of 31 along

the Pampelonne Beach – comes drenched in glamour. Once the go-to spot of the French aristocracy and now favoured by socialites like Paris HIlton, flock here by yacht where an open-air lounge/restaurant, high-end beach boutique awaits – along with a stream of bronze beauties.

03. Purobeach, Mallorca Pristine white loungers and palm trees flank a turquoise pool that teeters over the sea, making this stylish yet relaxed Balearic haunt all you need from a

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beach club. And it’s great for brunch, too (try the barbecued lobster).

04. Westhampton Bath and Tennis, The HamptonsMake like a New Yorker and leave the city behind for summers in The Hamptons. Dock your boat at its private marina and set foot on the all-American surrounds, offering beach, surf, pool-lounging and an all-day spa.

05. C Beach Club, MauritiusThis new Nikki beach-style club at

Heritage Le Telfair serves up plentiful watersports, fantastic Med cuisine in its Cyan restaurant and a cool party scene: DJ duo Kiss the Girl (from The Ritz, Paris) are residents as of November 30. A smart/casual spot for barefoot fun.

06. Sasso by the Sea, RavelloIf you just want to relax and top up your tan, make for this beautiful spot (part of the Palazzo Sasso Hotel) where chic sunbathing areas lie at the foot of rugged cliffs with to-die-for views.

07. One & Only Ocean Club, BahamasYou’ll will find few beautiful beaches coupled with myriad watersports like this one, where you can lounge on cotton-white sands or partake in anything from seaplane safaris to diving.

08. Amanusa, BaliOn the beachfront of the Bali Golf and Country Club, you can take out snorkelling equipment or kayaks by day and return to the private Beach Club for evening candlelit barbecues. Bliss.

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Grand Designs Laura Binder scours the globe to enearth the coolest design hotels

Hillside Su Hotel, TurkeyPad over a pea-green setting that peers innocently across the Med and you’ll hit disco fever pitch with one step inside this hotel’s deceptive façade. Turkish designer Eren Talu’s white-gloss space is poised for a party in its six-floor atrium where outsized glitter balls descend daringly overhead. With a preamble like this, there’s only one way to make for your suite; with a hearty strut through the catwalk-like lobby. Arrive at your room and seek retreat in a comparative cube of calm where an all-white colour scheme washes over mirror and glass surfaces. Just don’t be alarmed by the light show that jolts to life at dusk when the mighty glitter balls begin to spin… hillsidesu.com

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Farol Hotel, Portugal A regal aura resonates from this shoreline hotel – an extension of the Count of Cabral’s 19th century mansion where style-seekers can now relax amid a wave of 21st century style: delve into the restaurant’s delectable dishes perched on transparent chairs beneath bellowing coral-tinged lights and spend nights in one of 10 ‘designer rooms’, each dressed by Portugal’s most acclaimed fashion designers. But even if you’re not a slave to trends you can still appreciate this Lisbon love nest’s ode to water: a hydro-massage bath awaits you in your suite, a salt water pool is poised on the terrace and sun-drenched afternoons are best spent poolside on luxe loungers that appear to float atop the surface. farol.com.pt

Sextantio le Grotte Della Civita, Italy With original stone walls hugging linen-draped beds and candlelight dancing in ageing crevices, these ancient caves appear the essence of serenity. Daniele Kihlgren (a Swedish-Italian entrepreneur) pioneered an affectionate overhaul of the 9,000 year-old caverns which bleed into the hillsides of the equally forgotten town of Matera (now an UNESCO World Heritage Site). Gutted, wired, piped and lavished with local materials, the somber grottoes’ new lease of life provides eighteen softly-lit boudoirs where you can retreat to bathe in a claw-footed tub under a curved stone roof. What better place to make like a recluse? legrottedellacivita.com


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The Omnia, Switzerland Surge past the snow-dipped mountains of Zermatt – Switzerland’s most exclusive ski turf – in a rock-flanked elevator and you’ll be 45metres above the town, at the mouth of a thoroughly modern mountain lodge. Topping its surrounding climate in the cool stakes, each room (apparently too trendy to be numbered) boasts quirky features, from egg-shaped log fire furnaces to fig-hued wooden tubs, while floor-to-ceiling windows reveal mint-green conifer forests and alpine flowered meadows. But its design showpiece has to be The Cavern – an intoxicatingly dark lounge where you’ll sup concoctions inside a man-made cave decked out in black granite and steel. the-omnia.com

Alila Villas Uluwatu, IndonesiaIf the beach battles for first place on your travel check list, this Balinese retreat could be your design dream. Perched on a clifftop plateau, choose from one- to three-bed villas, each of which succumb to a seemingly endless stretch of the Indian Ocean and can be admired from both bed and bath tub. Open porches deliver a seamless bridge between indoors and out, too, so feeling at one with the surrounds comes naturally. While creature comforts prevail (private pool, cabana, garden and pavilion) this eco-conscious design project commits itself to water conservation, recycling and energy-saving - so you can bask in a state of guilt-free bliss. aliahotels.com


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The Standard, USAIt seems someone had tongue in cheek when naming this extraordinary hotel. A triumph in modern architectural terms, the New York Observer declared it ‘the most unusual and significant New York building for years’. Architect Andre Balazs is the man behind the box-like concrete and glass creation which hovers on steel legs as an abandoned railway line surges between its stony knees. A stay in this ahead-of-the-times hotel places you in what’s arguably the city’s hippest zone – the Meatpacking District – with skyscraper-dotted horizons, best beheld from the (small but seriously cool) pool or your bathroom’s oversized tub where floor-to-ceiling windows leave little to the imagination… standardhotels.com/new-york-city

Insolito Boutique Hotel, BrazilQuite literally an exotic home from home, French-born owner Emmanuelle de Clermont Tonnerre transformed her beachfront residence in to a Brazilian bolthole that beckons visitors two hours outside Rio to bask in altogether calmer (but no less seductive) surrounds. Its rocky hillside presents a blanket of hot-hued blooms, while Emmanuelle’s speedboats provide the missing link to Brazil’s famed beaches (some 20 neighbouring coves lay nearby, ripe for exploration). Inside, vibrant interiors boast arts and crafts from native legends or local talent, while suites pay equal homage to the spirit of South America: whirlpools bubble on verandas, Ferruda Beach below exposes posing beauties, while a US-style lounge invites you to rustle up the country’s signature iced tipples. insolitohotel.com


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The Library, Thailand There’s only one place to dart to on arrival here; poolside. Here the boutique hotel’s statement white colour scheme surrenders to its scarlet sister and blood orange-hued waters ripple before you. But if this ‘red sea’ proves a little too much, make for the more soothing surrounds of the hotel’s literal library and recline amid a snow white palette with a hearty tome. Alternatively, whet your appetite at its excellent restaurant and raise a fork to design-conscious dishes. Each creation graces your plate like a mini piece of art, mimicking the artwork and statues you’ll find outside, peppered playfully amid the Thai vegetation which borders its tropical beachfront setting. thelibrary.co.th


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My training for the London Olympics is full on, but when I get a chance I go to New Caledonia, near Fiji, which is one of the Polynesian islands. It’s definitely my favourite place to sail. Here you’ll find beautiful, tropical landscapes with stunning scenery, an intriguing culture, great food and lovely people – and, of course, it’s windy virtually every day.

My second favourite spot is actually Miami, which is nice in a different way. The sailing is not quite as good but you have that semi-tropical feel and its pleasant medium winds are fused with a Cuban and South American cultural vibe – not a typical American city at all. This wealthy area of Miami offers fantastic restaurants and is very different from the normal European sailing destinations I’m used to. I do a lot of sailing preparation and training here.

Another worthy spot is Lake Garda in the Italian Alps. It’s both an incredible windsurfing and sailing destination where you are pretty much guaranteed wind every day. Though warm during the summer, there’s a nice alpine feel which you don’t usually experience in a sailing destination and there’s ample opportunity to rent boats, if you don’t have your own.

The Inner Hebrides, Scotland, is very different again, I spent my honeymoon there. It’s a long drive up and you have to get on a ferry to reach the islands, though you’re never quite sure if you’re going to make it because the wind is blowing so hard – often at speeds between 40 and 60 knots – and it’s cold, really cold. You arrive on a secluded island with nothing else to do except sail, and

The IT LIsTThe Subject: World’s best sailing spotsThe Expert: Olympic sailor and world champion windsurfer Mick Dempsey

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it’s perfectly quiet with friendly local people and lots of cute little guest houses.

The Canary Islands are also pretty good for strong winds and although I’m not too fond of busy Spanish holiday towns (though these places were stunning 30 years ago I’m sure), you’ll have optimum conditions at any of the islands including Fuerteventura, Tenerife and Lanzarote. It’s undoubtedly one of the best sailing destinations in Europe.

We race in Holland every year on the Eemmeer and it’s a great location for beginners and intermediates. I love going there because Dutch people are fun, relaxed and very welcoming. But for an all-round location it has to be Cape Town. The sailing

is just wonderful, the surfing is world class and the wildlife and culture are fascinating – you just have to watch out for the sharks, of course.

If you really know what you’re doing sailing or windsurfing wise, head to Maui, Hawaii, where the waves can easily reach 30 feet high. Crystal River Gorge in Colorado should also be tried. It’s picturesque and surrounded by verdant and snowy mountains. As such, it’s a unique location in the sense that you can sail and snowboard within an hour of each other.

I haven’t actually been there yet but I’ve heard from friends that Camp Verde in Arizona is an incredible place, and still somewhere that’s relatively undiscovered as a sailing destination.Once I’m done with the London Olympics next year, conquering Camp Verde will probably be my next adventure...

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Beauty and the Bath tapsAnthony Peregrine finds down-to-earth industriousness, as well as heavenly scenery, around Lake Maggiore...

I t’s always surprising when renowned beauty spots turn out to have concerns in the real

world. Take the Italian lakes. The idea has got about that these exist only to furnish the earth with loveliness, and writers and holidaymakers with euphoria. Such inhabitants as there are – hoteliers, boatmen – serve, as it were, to further the purpose. So what’s this about bath taps? My new Italian friend, Emanuela, mentioned them as we walked the lakefront in Stresa. Producing taps is, it transpires, a key industry in the Lake Maggiore district. “They are world famous,” Emanuela said, before moving on to the subject of umbrellas, another important trade around

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here. There’s an umbrella museum up at Gigues. Maggiore is so majestic – mountains, water, villages –

that cultivated visitors exhaust superlatives. Hilaire Belloc thought the lake such “an enchanted experience” that he suspected sorcery. Locals, on the other hand, are proud of taps and umbrellas. There is also a chimney-sweeping heritage, and a nearby museum of catering. This is a useful counterbalance to excesses of aesthetic rapture. I was so delighted with the news that I rushed back to the hotel to tell my wife. I found her worried about Sr Berlusconi.

She had been reading the hotel blurb and discovered that the Italian PM often stayed right here, at the Regina Palace. She was, she said, worried what this might do to her reputation. She would have been more convincing had she not been lolling, glass in hand, amid frescoes, marble, chandeliers and gold-framed furniture of bold reds and blues – clearly waiting for some Lothario to burst through the terrace windows.

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they are worthy of the natural grandeur. Behind, Stresa (population: 5,000) is small-town Italy. Out on the lake front, it’s the Côte d’Azur, lined with palace hotels and frothy villas, all overcome with gilt, gardens and generations of exclusivity. They are vital to the atmosphere. The tradition of top-end tourism is itself a tourist attraction. Who would not want to see the Lido Palace where, in 1908, Winston Churchill spent his honeymoon? Both Princess Margaret and George Bernard Shaw stayed at the Regina Palace (though not, I fancy, together). And

Hemingway was at the Grand Hotel des Iles Borromées, as he was at every other plush hotel in Western Europe. During our time in town, one entire floor of this, the most venerable establishment of all, was colonised by a contingent from the Middle East. We sat in a huge bar, which dripped with décor, sipped over-aged chianti and spotted a beautiful young Arab woman speaking into her mobile phone. “Undoubtedly a princess,” said my wife.

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in Intra, which had been a little industrial centre. “We call it the ‘small Italian Manchester’,” Emanuela smiled. “You’ve obviously not seen Manchester,” I said. Further on, lakeside villages retained a tough bone structure draped, like a shawl, with decades of moneyed elegance. There was nowhere you could look, except occasionally at the bill, which didn’t raise the spirits. Then we doubled back to Fondotoce, where real-world concerns had intruded on beauty in starker fashion. After a round-up of partisans, 43 were shot here on June 20 1944. The Casa della Resistanza (Resistance Museum) now stands on the spot, in Via Turati. Three months later, the surrounding Ossola region declared itself an independent republic, defying the Germans who still occupied northern Italy. The assumption was that liberation was in the offing. It wasn’t. The republic was snuffed out by the Nazis and their Italian Fascist allies on October 23. The Casa has the details, though it helps if you understand Italian. If not, go all the same, to see the wall bearing the names of all 1,200 local partisans killed during the war. It lends a sombre sub-text to this stupendous landscape.

Back in Stresa that evening, we spotted a rather fine silver bust of Mussolini in an art shop window. The shop was shut and so, in a side-street bar, we asked who might buy such an item. “Italian tourists,” said the barman. “Some are very nostalgic.”

Next day, we left Maggiore, skirted Mottarone and ploughed through the commercial crust of Omegna, another productive little spot with a previously unknown (to me) international reputation for pressure cookers, coffee machines and kettles. Then we came to Lake Orta, and life suddenly got even better. Orta is the child at Maggiore’s knee – much smaller and with less of that worldly wisdom which supplies posh hotels and the clientele to fill them. The splendour has a barely-touched innocence. It’s “like an opera set”, I was told. But I’m not sure that’s right. There’s no artifice to the lake, the light and the waves of mountains studded with villages whose family memories go back, doubtless, to the Lombards. Granted, the San Giulio island in the middle of the lake looks gorgeously theatrical, as if it’s landed direct from the early Renaissance to star in the show. It is, though, real enough up close – packed with a powerful convent, a 1,000-year-old bell-tower, and a basilica of rich and marbled adornment. There’s an almost sensual austerity about the place.

Back on the mainland, we checked into a lakeside hotel in Orta San Giulio, a village at once furtive and open, in the Italian manner. The tightest possible cobbled streets and alleys snaked up and down past half-glimpsed courtyards, gardens and a shop selling donkey sausage. (Tragically, it was closed.) Then matters widened to the odd frescoed palazzo, loggias and a correctly-faded main square giving

Alcatraz, for the palace dominating the rock rises severely. Bella, and nearby Isola Madre, have been owned by the Borromeo banking family of Milan since the 15th century. This has afforded them ample opportunity to let rip with baroque overkill. Though the exterior is daunting, the palace interior is sumptuous, with every sort of treasure.

Bonaparte and Josephine stayed here – as, much later, did Ramsay MacDonald for the 1935 Stresa conference. This assured peace in Europe for a full two months. Off-season (November-March), the celebrated Isola Bella gardens were closed, so we peered through the gate, spotting white peacocks, terraces and flurries of exclamation-mark statuary. It was easy to see why the Borromeos might find it useful to have ‘Humilitas’ as the family motto. It was less easy to see why anyone would ever believe them.

Isola Madre was shut completely, so we puttered on to the third island, Isola Pescatori – essentially a fishing village hacked out and chucked into the middle of the lake. It was delightful in every detail, a nutshell of narrow alleys and boats, restaurants and abundant cats. Plus no sign of the Borromeos (except they own the fishing rights). By now, the mist had cleared and the magnificence of Maggiore was once again revealed. We motored from Stresa, along a road perched between lake and mountains. Soon, we arrived


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‘Out on the lake front, it’s the Côte d’Azur, lined with palace hotels and frothy villas, all overcome with gilt, gardens and generations of exclusivity’

on to the lake. Carelessly, history had arranged it all to perfection. We took a drink in the shadow of the 16th-century town hall. Later, we moved to the lakeside. The sun had slipped behind the mountains, leaving a glow suggesting it expected an encore. Then it went for good. Strings of lights, like stray galaxies, identified villages on the shore and hillsides opposite.

The silence was so enormous that individual noise carried forever. We followed a serious dispute between ducks from, I would say, half a mile away. We were quite alone. Dinner awaited. There may be a lovelier village scene in northern Italy, but I don’t know it. I turned to my wife. “Sweetness,” I said. “Do we need any taps?”


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L i f e L e s s o n s

What I KnoW noWPhilippe Léopold-MetzgerCEO, Piaget

I know that the greatest accomplishment in life is a sound balance between a successful professional career and a great family life. Never sacrifice one for the other.

When there is a will there is a way. The challenge is to always set new objectives and to beat them. Objectives should be measurable and realistic.

It is never too late to learn. We must learn and we must take time to train others. Education is the key to success. I love Lao Tzu’s quote “Give a man a fish and you feed him for one day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”

Always do better than necessary. I try to follow this motto from Piaget’s founder in everything I do. I am never happy with the good, I always strive for excellence.

Ego is a man’s worst enemy.

It is much easier to hire than to fire. I am always careful before authorising new hirings. There is nothing worse than to let someone go and potentially ruin their life.

There is always an opportunity at one stage, and often it is destiny. One thing is for sure: if you see an opportunity, go for it.

AIR What I know now.indd 76 9/27/2011 6:36:34 PM

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