How we found our way in Artworld without a map

A short account of my experience in the group The Place

The wise ones, the teachers in college they said'You are strong go forth! Stay together! Make art! The group though was loud, noisy, passionate and diverse.

RESIST or not ?

I MISS THE CHALLENGE, THE PUSHING BY TUTORS

I have points of resistance where if I am pushed through them, I learn a great deal and produce good work. On my own I avoid these resistance points or I fail to recognise them. I seem programmed to avoid change and to seek the easy path

So our learning is different. It is more gentle than formal education, but again I ask, will we really advance? Or will I only learn things that are easy to learn?I have points of resistance where if I am pushed through them I learn a great deal.On my own I avoid these resistance points or I fail to recognise them.

Who does the Work for the Group?

Ebb and flux of members is to be expected as different demands are placed on people at times. The group will continue once a core can continue to hold strong. So we hope ...

The group gave me the experiences of both doing work for the group and of allowing others to do the work at different stages of its life. Both came with their own challenges. Taking on work was tiring and demanding. Even organising a simple meeting meant much time emailing. Not doing work required relinquishing control and allowing others to make decisions.

WHERE IS MY TIME?

MY ENERGY?

Life gets in the way of artmaking.I lay in bed, my mind active, my body weak.

My illness, then my daughters more serious illness and the birth of my grand daughter within three weeks made prioritizing an absolute imperative.Art slipped down the list.Question every action, is this essential?Choose what to doChoose when to do It

MAKING TIME MAKING ART

There is a constant struggle to allow myself to do this art, it is work and it is hard.

Activities keep me busy, give me a reason to be busy, a place in the world, a role to play. These roles prescibe a way of being and of relating to others that interupts my thinking about artmaking

Is it routine that I do housework and I knit? Am I falling into homey roles because it is easier to be compliant to be suburban? Am I selecting the easy the automatic?There is a constant stuggle to allow myself to do this art, it is work and it is hard. It is easy to select the mundane above the revelatory.

I feel as if my armour is being eroded

I feel as if my armour is being eroded, the protection of a good job, of regular comfortable income, the focus of externally directed work, provision of a place to work in, of colleagues, of rules, boundaries, the protection of the roles as employee, mother, wife. The time and energy focused on helping on minding, the tedious tasks, cooking, shopping, cleaning that take energy and time but that are essential.

All are being eroded away revealing me

I am picking up the dropped stitches of my life

I sense now my core self, vulnerable but curious, interested in the world and seeing and interpreting it. My interpretations finding a channel outwards, where before they were directed back inwards to sluggishly move around and then stagnate.I am picking up and working into the fabric of my life what I had to drop and leave behind before, integrating the reluctantly discarded into a reworked version.