Even if you’re not called to adopt, there are still lots of ways to help those who areare still lots of ways to help those who are

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hurting children was even more exhausting than the Johnsons had imagined.

First, there were the challenging behaviors—lengthy, violent fi ts full of screaming and spitting by the three siblings, ages 1, 2 and 5. Add to that several weekly appointments for physical, speech, occupational and play therapy as well as doctor and dental visits.

“The kids were sick all the time because they hadn’t had any nutrition,” says Jessamy Johnson, who with her husband, Jeff , adopted Elijah, Anthony and Tashyla through the foster care system. “Parenting is hard enough without the heartache of parenting kids you don’t know, who are broken by circumstances you can’t understand.”

According to adoption experts, many children awaiting adoption today are older, have special needs or are part of a sibling group. In addition, they often struggle with multiple traumas, developmental delays and behaviors that may overwhelm their new family.

Thankfully for the Johnsons, family, friends and a team of volunteers from their Colorado church wrapped around them with ongoing support.

“We had a date night pretty much every week for years because of their commitment,” Jessamy says.

“And that saved our marriage and made this possible.”While fi nalizing an adoption is something to cele-

brate, it’s often just the beginning of a child’s journey to healing. By supporting adoptive parents on that jour-ney, those not called to adopt can “visit orphans . . . in their affl iction” (James 1:27) while also being blessed with unexpected joys and faith-building experiences.

“Just to see the kids blossom is beautiful,” says Dan-ielle Wortley, a fellow church member who gave Jessamy much-needed breaks by providing child care. Serv-ing the Johnsons gave Danielle joy and humbled her. “It made me not so complaining on my tough days,” she says.

Adoptive parents suggest some guidelines for those willing to lend a hand:

Be practicalAdam and Janai Kane of Albuquerque, New Mex-ico, were adopting two boys when Janai unexpectedly became pregnant. Ten days before Janai gave birth, they learned that the boys had a newborn sibling. That child, Micah, had been exposed to methamphetamines and had special needs.

“I don’t think we could have taken on Micah and made it through without the support of our commu-nity,” Adam says.

One family cared for Micah for a month. Gifts of meals, clothing, cribs, child care and laundry service have all been vital to the health of their home.

“We’ve known people who’ve gone through this with fewer major transitions than we’ve had, and they’ve had a lot harder time,” Adam says. “I attribute that to the fact that either they didn’t have a church community that came around them, or they weren’t as open to the help. It takes both sides.” >>>

Parenting

to healing. By supporting adoptive parents on that jour-ney, those not called to adopt can “visit orphans . . . in their affl iction” (James 1:27) while also being blessed with unexpected joys and faith-building experiences.

a lot harder time,” Adam says. “I attribute that to the fact that either they didn’t have a church community that came around them, or they weren’t as open to the help. It takes both sides.” >>>

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Visit TheDropBoxFilm.com to view the trailer and purchase tickets.

Brian Ivie’s future changed over a copy of the Los Angeles Times and a bowl of Cinnamon Life.

The college student was eating breakfast at his parents’ house, on summer break from his studies at USC’s fi lm school, when he saw the front-page article that set everything in motion. It was a dispatch from halfway around the world—one that rocked Brian’s thinking and reconfi gured his dreams. . . .

South Korean Pastor Tends an Unwanted Flock

It was the story of Pastor Lee Jong-rak, who in 2009 installed a drop box in the outer wall of his Seoul home. In a country and a culture that extols physical perfection, where the damaged or deformed are routinely abandoned, Pastor Lee’s faith com-pelled him to sell his family business, open an orphanage for the unwanted, build the drop box and post a hand-written sign: “If you can’t take care of your disabled babies, don’t throw them away or leave them on the street. Bring them here.”

As he read the article, Brian’s fi rst thought was that such a thing—“a mailbox for abandoned babies”—should simply not exist. His next thought, after re-reading the article probably fi ve times, was, If I don’t do something, everyone is going to forget.

That something, the young fi lmmaker decided, was to tell this man’s story. After emailing Pastor Lee, after waiting at least a month, and after he had more or less given up on the project, Brian received a Google-translated reply from the pastor himself:

“I don’t know what it means exactly to make a documentary fi lm, but you can come live with me if you want.”

‘A Mailbox for Abandoned Babies’

An award-winning fi lm captures one pastor’s efforts to rescue discarded

babies from the streets of Seoul

The L.A. Times article appeared in June 2011; by December Brian and a largely volunteer crew were on their way to South Korea. After a second trip months later, he had enough material for

a feature-length fi lm—and a newfound faith in Christ.“I became a Christian while making this movie,” Brian says,

“and that’s funny to me for two reasons: Number one, I thought I was a Christian because I didn’t smoke, went to Mass with my dad and watched Fox News with my mom. And number two, before meeting God through this process, [making] fi lms was ‘god’ to me. I had no idea while I was making a fi lm about saving Korean babies that God was going to save me.”

The fi nished movie, The Drop Box, has already garnered sev-eral awards at independent fi lm festivals, and is the second entry in Focus on the Family’s Reclamation Series—a collection of doc-umentaries focused on a Christ-centered response to social issues. (The fi rst fi lm in the series was the 2014 release Irreplaceable.)

The Drop Box will show in theaters nationwide on March 3-5. Along with the important messages of adoption and orphan care, Brian says he hopes audiences come away from the fi lm with a picture of a higher love. A permanent love.

“One day, every person who lives long enough will be an orphan,” he says. “When it comes to conquering the brokenness of this world and confronting the reality of our own death, we’re all helpless. We’re all orphans. We’re all the ones who need to be saved.”

BOXTHEDROP

Don’t throw them away. Bring them here.

© 2014 Focus on the Family

A theatrical event — three nights only — MARCH 3, 4 and 5, 2015A PORTION OF THE FILM’S PROCEEDS GOES TO SUPPORT PASTOR LEE’S MINISTRY

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When Stephanie Banik cared for the Kanes’ chil-dren, it challenged and encouraged her faith, she says.

“I saw them [the Kanes] be obedient to God’s call no matter what—the joys, the ups and downs, the hard-ships—and trusting Him and learning what it really means to let the Holy Spirit love through you.”

Don’t judge Little things often triggered 2-year-old Anthony John-son’s memories of abuse, resulting in screaming fi ts, says his mom, Jessamy. At those times, Anthony needed to feel safe, but onlookers might have assumed he needed discipline.

“Children who have trauma histories require dif-ferent parenting strategies,” explains attachment therapist Debi Grebenik. “The goal is healing versus compliance.”

Most people don’t know this, so it’s easy for them to judge adoptive parents, says Shelly Radic, president of Project 1:27 (named after James 1:27), a Christian adoption ministry that requires prospective parents to recruit a support team. What’s helpful to these par-ents, she says, are friends who will support them with an attitude of humility, without critical comments or disapproving glances.

Once parents are able to build a trusting relation-ship with their child, Shelly adds, many of the child’s negative behaviors will subside.

Listen But building that relationship takes time. That’s why it’s important to listen to parents’ requests. If they ask others to refrain from hugging their child, for example, there’s a good reason.

Bonding occurs naturally as a mother spends much of her time caring for her infant, but some children haven’t experienced a healthy fi rst attachment. They need to develop that bond with their new parents; too much aff ection from others can confuse them.

“It would have been nice for other couples to say, ‘How can we help you bond with your child?’ ” says Laura Johansen of Luck, Wisconsin. “Many well-intentioned people would hug and kiss our son, Mike, and it really damaged his bonding to me. I ended up having to stay home most of the time.”

One of the best ways to support adoptive families is to listen to what they’re saying, stresses Jake Warren, an adoptive dad in Denver.

PrayAs adoptive parents learn to love their children in ways that will help them heal, spiritual opposition is sure to come, says Shelly. “The Enemy uses any hard issues to try to stifl e the light. That’s when you need your faith community to fi ght that battle with you.”

Members of Adam and Janai Kane’s church took up that challenge by asking the couple for weekly prayer requests.

Prayer can also guide would-be supporters. “Every time I’ve asked God what my role is, someone calls,” says Stephanie, who helped the Kanes. “He’ll open the door.”

CelebrateChuck and Lynn Schoephoerster and several others wrapped around a Woodland Park, Colorado, fam-ily that adopted fi ve siblings. Lynn became the mom’s sounding board and helped drive the children to appointments.

The Schoephoersters, parents of teens at the time, also hosted a party for the family’s 8-year-old daughter.

“It was so fun to see because she’d never had a birthday celebration,” Lynn says. “The smile on her face was priceless.”

For Chuck, seeing his teens serve others was another priceless moment that day: “It’s been one of the greatest blessings of my life to see my teens rise to the occasion,” he says. “And all we had to do was open the gate to our backyard.”

Three years have passed since Jeff and Jessamy Johnson met their fi rst three children. Today, those once-neglected kids are “diff erent people,” Jessamy says. “Anthony is the most compassionate kid. If some-one is sick, he’ll give them his blankie.”

The healing they’ve seen in the children, Jessamy says, is “a total testimony to God’s grace, the power of family and people committed to help.” TF

Discover more ways to help adoptive families. Read the Focus on the Family booklet “Wrapping Around Adoptive Families.” Find it at ThrivingFamily.com/books.

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