ACT for Spiritual Development Hank Robb, Ph.D., ABPP

ACT for Spiritual Development

ACT for Spiritual Development

Hank Robb, Ph.D., ABPPHank Robb, Ph.D., ABPP

Joseph Campbell’s Four Functions of MythologyJoseph Campbell’s Four Functions of Mythology

Mystical Function(Making contact with “the mystery”)

Cosmological Function(Seeing “the mystery” through all things)

Social Function(“rationalizing” social action)

Individual Function(addressing life phases)

Mystical Function(Making contact with “the mystery”)

Cosmological Function(Seeing “the mystery” through all things)

Social Function(“rationalizing” social action)

Individual Function(addressing life phases)

“Spiritual” Possibilities“Spiritual” PossibilitiesRELATIONSHIPS

I AM Divinity.

(though not the “you” you think you are)

I RELATE to Divinity.

ATTITUDESSay “yes” to the world as is.

Say “no” to the world as is.

Say “yes” after you “fix up” the world.

RELATIONSHIPS

I AM Divinity.

(though not the “you” you think you are)

I RELATE to Divinity.

ATTITUDESSay “yes” to the world as is.

Say “no” to the world as is.

Say “yes” after you “fix up” the world.

Kundalini“Hierarchy of Spiritual Energy”

Kundalini“Hierarchy of Spiritual Energy”

Mystery Without a Face (Rapture)Mystery With a Face (Rapture)

Aggressive Action to Change SelfCompassion

Aggressive Action Directed OutwardPursuit of Sensual Pleasure

Hanging on to Existence

Mystery Without a Face (Rapture)Mystery With a Face (Rapture)

Aggressive Action to Change SelfCompassion

Aggressive Action Directed OutwardPursuit of Sensual Pleasure

Hanging on to Existence

AssumptionsAssumptions Your are one being in one

universe. Your are one being in one

universe.

AssumptionsAssumptions If you have the usual body parts, you have

hands and feet. They are part of your one being. You also have a spirit.

If you have the usual body parts, you have

hands and feet. They are part of your one being. You also have a spirit.

AssumptionsAssumptions That, too, is part of your one

being. That, too, is part of your one

being.

AssumptionsAssumptions Your feet are not your

hands and your hands are not your spirit and they are

all part of the one being that is you.

Your feet are not your hands and your hands are not your spirit and they are

all part of the one being that is you.

AssumptionsAssumptions Conditions of the universe arose that brought you into

existence and, one-day, conditions will change and

you will go out of existence.

Conditions of the universe arose that brought you into

existence and, one-day, conditions will change and

you will go out of existence.

AssumptionsAssumptions There is no spirit that is

separate from the one being that is you. There is no body

that is separate from the one being that is you.

There is no spirit that is separate from the one being that is you. There is no body

that is separate from the one being that is you.

AssumptionsAssumptions The spirit of your one being

will end when the body of your one being ends

because you are one being.

The spirit of your one being will end when the body of

your one being ends because you are one being.

AssumptionsAssumptions The actions you take in your

one life will affect the one universe of which you are now a part and that was

here before you and will be here after you.

The actions you take in your one life will affect the one universe of which you are now a part and that was

here before you and will be here after you.

AssumptionsAssumptions Those effects may be characterized as great or small, good or evil, or in a

variety of other ways. None of us knows, for sure, what

effects each of us will have.

Those effects may be characterized as great or small, good or evil, or in a

variety of other ways. None of us knows, for sure, what

effects each of us will have.

AssumptionsAssumptions However, each may know what effect was intended, if, indeed, one was intended.

However, each may know what effect was intended, if, indeed, one was intended.

AssumptionsAssumptionsWhatever you are going to do will have to be done here and now in this place and in this moment because there is no “other place” and no “other

moment.”

Whatever you are going to do will have to be done here and now in this place and in this moment because there is no “other place” and no “other

moment.”

AssumptionsAssumptions If these assumptions fit for you, and you are looking for spiritual development, perhaps this mode of development will prove helpful.

If these assumptions fit for you, and you are looking for spiritual development, perhaps this mode of development will prove helpful.

MetaphorMetaphor The Spiritual Reality

approach, like many other spiritual approaches, makes

use of metaphor.

The Spiritual Reality approach, like many other

spiritual approaches, makes use of metaphor.

MetaphorMetaphor When I was in high school, I

learned a poem titled, The Highwayman. The poem began, “The road was a

ribbon of moonlight.”

When I was in high school, I learned a poem titled, The Highwayman. The poem began, “The road was a

ribbon of moonlight.”

MetaphorMetaphor If on hearing this, one were to go outside

with scissors in order to cut up material to tie bows in one’s hair, then we would say

there and been a misunderstanding of language because there was never any

literal material made of moonlight for anyone, including the highwayman, to

interact with.

If on hearing this, one were to go outside with scissors in order to cut up material to tie bows in one’s hair, then we would say

there and been a misunderstanding of language because there was never any

literal material made of moonlight for anyone, including the highwayman, to

interact with.

MetaphorMetaphor In this presentation, I will try

diligently to point out metaphors when they are in

use.

In this presentation, I will try diligently to point out

metaphors when they are in use.

MetaphorMetaphor Even so, it may be useful not to take any talk too literally, especially when it is meant to open us to spiritual dimensions.

Even so, it may be useful not to take any talk too literally, especially when it is meant to open us to spiritual dimensions.

Root MetaphorRoot Metaphor

Diamonds are aspects of the universe found here on

earth.

Diamonds are aspects of the universe found here on

earth.


One aspect of diamonds is their potential for brilliance.

One aspect of diamonds is their potential for brilliance.

Root MetaphorRoot Metaphor Before the brilliance is brought forth, it is only a

potential within the diamond.

Before the brilliance is brought forth, it is only a

potential within the diamond.

Root MetaphorRoot Metaphor After it is brought forth, it is an aspect, or quality, of the

diamond itself. It is not “added on.”

After it is brought forth, it is an aspect, or quality, of the

diamond itself. It is not “added on.”

Root MetaphorRoot Metaphor The brilliance is not something

other than the diamond itself. The brilliance is an aspect, or quality, of the diamond. It is a way of being a diamond that

has been brought forth.

The brilliance is not something other than the diamond itself. The brilliance is an aspect, or quality, of the diamond. It is a way of being a diamond that

has been brought forth.

Root MetaphorRoot Metaphor If the diamond disintegrated,

so would the brilliance. Brilliance and the diamond

are one rather than two.

If the diamond disintegrated, so would the brilliance.

Brilliance and the diamond are one rather than two.


Bringing forth brilliance from a diamond includes cutting

and polishing it.

Bringing forth brilliance from

a diamond includes cutting and polishing it.

Root MetaphorRoot Metaphor And the cutting and polishing

must be done wisely.

And the cutting and polishing

must be done wisely.


So, as with diamonds, spiritual brilliance, that is potential in each human

being, can be brought forth.

So, as with diamonds, spiritual brilliance, that is potential in each human

being, can be brought forth.

Root MetaphorRoot Metaphor We, however, are not

inanimate objects. We don’t have to wait around. We can

get busy doing the job ourselves, and we can do it

wisely.

We, however, are not inanimate objects. We don’t have to wait around. We can

get busy doing the job ourselves, and we can do it

wisely.

Root MetaphorRoot Metaphor That is just the sort of thing

that this mode of spiritual development intends.

That is just the sort of thing

that this mode of spiritual development intends.

Root MetaphorRoot Metaphor Hopefully, no individuals hearing or reading these words buy that they will literally become brighter through the

mode of spiritual development outlined here or that they require

literal cutting or polishing. Believing such things means there has been a

linguistic error.

Hopefully, no individuals hearing or reading these words buy that they will literally become brighter through the

mode of spiritual development outlined here or that they require

literal cutting or polishing. Believing such things means there has been a

linguistic error.


Yet there is some sense in which spiritual brightness does brighten the world

where it is found.

Yet there is some sense in

which spiritual brightness does brighten the world

where it is found.


And don’t stop paying the electric bill because of the

previous sentence!

And don’t stop paying the electric bill because of the

previous sentence!

Caution!Caution! From this perspective, many

spiritual traditions contain metaphors that we may find

useful. Even so, we had better be careful. Many traditions do not make the unitary assumption of

Spiritual Reality.

From this perspective, many spiritual traditions contain

metaphors that we may find useful. Even so, we had better be

careful. Many traditions do not make the unitary assumption of

Spiritual Reality.

Caution!Caution! They operate on an assumption of

fundamental duality in which there is literally a second universe. Body and spirit are not of one

being but alternate entities that sometimes war and at other time

co-operate with each other.

They operate on an assumption of fundamental duality in which there

is literally a second universe. Body and spirit are not of one

being but alternate entities that sometimes war and at other time

co-operate with each other.

Caution!Caution! In these traditions, one

aspect of the duality is usually to be preferred over the other, typically the spirit

over the body.

In these traditions, one aspect of the duality is

usually to be preferred over the other, typically the spirit

over the body.

From the Spiritual Reality Perspective

From the Spiritual Reality Perspective

We are one being with one body and spirit just as we are one being with one pair of eyes and and one pair of ears as well as memories

of the past and hopes for the future.

We are one being with one body and spirit just as we are one being with one pair of eyes and and one pair of ears as well as memories

of the past and hopes for the future.

Metaphorically Speaking


The Kingdome of the Father is spread upon the earth

but men and women do not see it.

The Kingdome of the Father is spread upon the earth

but men and women do not see it.



This is the golden lotus world.

This is the golden lotus world.



I and the Father are one.I and the Father are one.



I and my beloved are one.I and my beloved are one.

MindMind

In addition to our spirit and body, the one being we are also has a

mind.

Our mind is largely made up of thoughts, images and

sensations.

In addition to our spirit and body, the one being we are also has a

mind.

Our mind is largely made up of thoughts, images and

sensations.

ThoughtsThoughts

Those radio programs inside your head.

Those radio programs inside your head.

ImagesImages

Anything with a picture.Anything with a picture.

Bodily SensationsBodily Sensations

Your heart beating faster or slower. Your hands feeling

cooler or warmer. Your stomach feeling more tense

or more relaxed.

Your heart beating faster or slower. Your hands feeling

cooler or warmer. Your stomach feeling more tense

or more relaxed.

Thoughts, Images & Sensations


Sometimes you can control your thoughts, images &

sensations.

Sometimes you can control your thoughts, images &

sensations.



More often thoughts, images and sensations just “arrive.”

Jack and Jill went up the …

Little Miss Muffet sat on a …Little Miss Muffet sat on a …When was the last time “tuffet”

was in your head?

I didn’t know what a “tuffet”

was until I looked it up

I have a good “story” about how “tuffet”

got in my head and no real memory.

Lot’s of “stuff” that “shows up” is like that.

When was the last time “tuffet”

was in your head?

I didn’t know what a “tuffet”

was until I looked it up

I have a good “story” about how “tuffet”

got in my head and no real memory.

Lot’s of “stuff” that “shows up” is like that.



Thoughts, images and sensations come from your

personal learning history and your biological history.

Thoughts, images and sensations come from your

personal learning history and your biological history.

Finding Your Spiritual SelfFinding Your Spiritual SelfIt is “the possessor of the body.”

Long duration - as far back as you can remember.

Stable - like the eye of a hurricane.

Certainty of bodily control, if not control of thoughts, images or sensations, when

you are “there.”

Umpire PerspectiveUmpire PerspectiveThoughts are divided into true

and untrue. Images are divided into

attractive and unattractive.Sensations are divided into

pleasant and unpleasant.

Thoughts are divided into true and untrue.

Images are divided into attractive and unattractive.

Sensations are divided into pleasant and unpleasant.

Umpire PerspectiveUmpire Perspective

With the Umpire Perspective you sometimes get, “bad calls,” most typically with

thoughts.

With the Umpire Perspective you sometimes get, “bad calls,” most typically with

thoughts.

Observer PerspectiveObserver Perspective

You see that a thing is exactly what it is and nothing more

and nothing less.

You see that a thing is exactly what it is and nothing more

and nothing less.

Actuality PerspectiveActuality Perspective There is a difference between “you”

and your thoughts, images and sensations. “You” are the person who “has” thoughts, images or sensations.

There is a difference between your thoughts, images and sensations and the actual world.

There is a difference between “you” and your thoughts, images and sensations. “You” are the person who “has” thoughts, images or sensations.

There is a difference between your thoughts, images and sensations and the actual world.

You can make guesses about the future, but rarely can you make calls. A call of “true” for “One day I will

die,” exemplifies an exception.

You can make guesses about the future, but rarely can you make calls. A call of “true” for “One day I will

die,” exemplifies an exception.

“I cannot walk over to the door and back.”

“I cannot walk over to the door and back.”

“I cannot stay seated, I must stand up.”

“I cannot stay seated, I must stand up.”

The illusion of “loosing control” is like other illusions, e.g. the

“sunrise” and “sunset.” It looks, feels and seems a

way that it isn’t.

The illusion of “loosing control” is like other illusions, e.g. the

“sunrise” and “sunset.” It looks, feels and seems a

way that it isn’t.

“I am a banana.”“I am a banana.”You are not a yellow fruit.

And neither are you a bunch of sounds - “ba-na-na.”

Did you notice the latter?

You are not a yellow fruit.

And neither are you a bunch of sounds - “ba-na-na.”

Did you notice the latter?

Formula for Human Liberation

Formula for Human Liberation

By making myself do something unpleasant, and refraining from

doing something pleasant, in the service of something I make more important, I will never have to be

a slave to circumstance.

By making myself do something unpleasant, and refraining from

doing something pleasant, in the service of something I make more important, I will never have to be

a slave to circumstance.

This was the point of high school.

This was the point of high school.

And most of us missed it!

And most of us missed it!

In high school you do unpleasant homework, and don’t do things that

would be a lot more pleasant.

In high school you do unpleasant homework, and don’t do things that

would be a lot more pleasant.

Just to annoy yourself?

No.

In the service of actually learning something or simply making

better grades.

Just to annoy yourself?

No.

In the service of actually learning something or simply making

better grades.

Leading PrinciplesLeading PrinciplesLeading Principles are like using a compass

to go East or West rather than North.

Follow a compass North and you will reach magnetic North. The compass will spin around and every time you walk away it will point you back to where you came

from.

Leading Principles are like using a compass to go East or West rather than North.

Follow a compass North and you will reach magnetic North. The compass will spin around and every time you walk away it will point you back to where you came

from.

Leading PrinciplesLeading Principles Go East or West with your compass and

you will never come to some place like magnetic North.

Go East or West with your compass and you will never come to some place like

magnetic North.

Goals versesLeading Principles


Goals are places at which you can “arrive.”

Have a baby.

Get married.

Graduate high school

Goals are places at which you can “arrive.”

Have a baby.

Get married.

Graduate high school



Leading Principles give direction rather than describe places to “arrive.”

When would you be “arrive” at:Be the best parent I can be?Be the best mate I can be?

Be as educated as I can be?You can always get up the next day and

keep going!

Leading Principles give direction rather than describe places to “arrive.”

When would you be “arrive” at:Be the best parent I can be?Be the best mate I can be?

Be as educated as I can be?You can always get up the next day and

keep going!

Leading PrinciplesLeading PrinciplesGive direction rather than

location & do so without regard to location.

Provide direction through the wilderness of life rather than a

path through it.

Give direction rather than location & do so without regard

to location.

Provide direction through the wilderness of life rather than a

path through it.

Leading PrinciplesLeading Principles“The path” is where you’ve been. If

you are “on a path,” it is someone else’s path because NO ONE has

lived your life before.

You are the only one who can do it!

“The path” is where you’ve been. If you are “on a path,” it is someone else’s path because NO ONE has

lived your life before.

You are the only one who can do it!

Leading PrinciplesLeading PrinciplesStart walking.

At what point are you “unable” to “change directions?”

That is the experience of “human freedom.”

Start walking.

At what point are you “unable” to “change directions?”

That is the experience of “human freedom.”

The world is filled with contingent requirements,

The world is filled with contingent requirements,

and you have a choice as to how you fulfill them.

and you have a choice as to how you fulfill them.

To make this slide show, I had to make it.

To make this slide show, I had to make it.

And I had a choice of the “banner” under which I went about the activity.

“I choose to. I choose to. I choose to.”

OR

“I have to. I have to. I have to.”

And I had a choice of the “banner” under which I went about the activity.

“I choose to. I choose to. I choose to.”

OR

“I have to. I have to. I have to.”

“I choose to. I choose to. I choose to” is the banner of human liberation.

“I have to. I have to. I have to” is the banner of human slavery.

And WATCH OUT for slave revolts!

“I choose to. I choose to. I choose to” is the banner of human liberation.

“I have to. I have to. I have to” is the banner of human slavery.

And WATCH OUT for slave revolts!

Under which banner are you acting?

Under which banner are you acting?

Heinrich ZimmerHeinrich ZimmerThe best things can’t be told.

The second best are misunderstood.

The third best are what we talk about.

Why?

The best things can’t be told.

The second best are misunderstood.

The third best are what we talk about.

Why?

Because in talking about things that can’t be told (only experienced) we use the language of things we do talk about as

metaphors.

Because in talking about things that can’t be told (only experienced) we use the language of things we do talk about as

metaphors.

These metaphors are then concretized.

That is, people try to make hair ribbons out of the ribbon of

moonlight that “was” the road.

These metaphors are then concretized.

That is, people try to make hair ribbons out of the ribbon of

moonlight that “was” the road.

Joseph Campbell said,Joseph Campbell said,

“Mythology is other people’s religion,

And religion is misunderstood mythology.”

Why misunderstood?

Same reason!

The metaphors are concretized and thereby become opaque, rather than

transparent, to transcendence.

“Mythology is other people’s religion,

And religion is misunderstood mythology.”

Why misunderstood?

Same reason!

The metaphors are concretized and thereby become opaque, rather than

transparent, to transcendence.

Transcendence?Transcendence?

Yes!

You transcended your desire not to do your homework and do other fun stuff and

did your homework any way!

By following your Leading Principles, you acted in ways you didn’t feel like acting.

Yes!

You transcended your desire not to do your homework and do other fun stuff and

did your homework any way!

By following your Leading Principles, you acted in ways you didn’t feel like acting.

“Midlife Crisis”“Midlife Crisis”Getting to the top of the ladder

and finding it’s against the wrong wall.

Typically produced by following someone else’s agenda.

Getting to the top of the ladder and finding it’s against the

wrong wall.

Typically produced by following someone else’s agenda.

Formula for Human Serenity in Action

Formula for Human Serenity in Action

Let me accept (give my permission for) life as I find it, (as life is, was or may be) even though I may not approve of what I find, wisdom to see what would be good to

change, willingness to act and willingness to follow through, and gratitude for the opportunity to live my life as best I can.

Let me accept (give my permission for) life as I find it, (as life is, was or may be) even though I may not approve of what I find, wisdom to see what would be good to

change, willingness to act and willingness to follow through, and gratitude for the opportunity to live my life as best I can.

Giving your permission IS NOT

giving your approval.

Giving your permission IS NOT

giving your approval. That for which you give your approve is

one thing.

That for which you give your permission is something else.

My wife approves of pickles in tuna fish.

I don’t!

That for which you give your approve is one thing.

That for which you give your permission is something else.

My wife approves of pickles in tuna fish.

I don’t!

When you don’t give your permission for Life to be as it is

was or may be who suffers,

When you don’t give your permission for Life to be as it is

was or may be who suffers,

You or Life?You or Life?

Two Kinds of Willingness

Two Kinds of Willingness

Willingness with your feet.

Willingness with your heart.

Willingness with your feet.

Willingness with your heart.

Willingness with your heart is more metaphorical than

willingness with your feet.

Willingness with your heart is more metaphorical than

willingness with your feet. You can see people moving their feet (as

well as their hands, arms and mouth).

When it comes to willingness with your heart, I’m not talking about that big muscle

in the middle of your chest!

You can see people moving their feet (as well as their hands, arms and mouth).

When it comes to willingness with your heart, I’m not talking about that big muscle

in the middle of your chest!

Make A Fist.Make A Fist.

All it takes to have an open hand is to stop holding your hand closed.

Willingness is like that.

Just stop holding your heart closed and it will open all by itself.

You don’t have to do something.

You have to stop doing something.

All it takes to have an open hand is to stop holding your hand closed.

Willingness is like that.

Just stop holding your heart closed and it will open all by itself.

You don’t have to do something.

You have to stop doing something.

Cup Your HandsCup Your Hands

Metaphorically speaking, you can “hold gently” experiences that are themselves

not gentle.

Just let them rest there, held gently,

doing whatever it is that they do,

while you “hold them gently.”

Metaphorically speaking, you can “hold gently” experiences that are themselves

not gentle.

Just let them rest there, held gently,

doing whatever it is that they do,

while you “hold them gently.”

The Buddhists & the Rolling Stones

agree:

The Buddhists & the Rolling Stones

agree: “You don’t always get

what you want!” “You don’t always get

what you want!”

SO,SO,

Simply being alive means experiencing

sorrow.

Simply being alive means experiencing

sorrow.

Treat the reality that all life is sorrowful as problem to be solved

and it won’t be long before you come up with the answer.

Treat the reality that all life is sorrowful as problem to be solved

and it won’t be long before you come up with the answer.

KILL YOURSELF!KILL YOURSELF!

Life is best treated as an experience to be had

Life is best treated as an experience to be had

not a problem to be solved.not a problem to be solved.

And SOMETIMES you actually get what you want!

And SOMETIMES you actually get what you want!

You experience “fulfillment.”

Life is full of sorrow and fulfillment,

And the place in between!

You experience “fulfillment.”

Life is full of sorrow and fulfillment,

And the place in between!

Some fulfillments are like vegetables,

Some fulfillments are like vegetables,

They nourish you.

Others are like cotton candy.

They taste good in the moment and have little or no nourishment.

They nourish you.

Others are like cotton candy.

They taste good in the moment and have little or no nourishment.

Some fulfillments are cool.Some fulfillments are cool.

Some fulfillments are very cool.

And some fulfillments are

WAY COOL!

Some fulfillments are very cool.

And some fulfillments are

WAY COOL!

Doc, how will I know which fulfillments will prove , for me,

WAY COOL?

Doc, how will I know which fulfillments will prove , for me,

WAY COOL?I have no idea!

And neither does anybody else,

even when they claim they do.

I have no idea!

And neither does anybody else,

even when they claim they do.

PURSUING WAY COOLPURSUING WAY COOL

Try different things and listen for the “echo” inside yourself.

“Way Cool” is like one instrument playing softly and if you follow it, it

becomes louder and more orchestrated or it fades because it

was an illusion.

Try different things and listen for the “echo” inside yourself.

“Way Cool” is like one instrument playing softly and if you follow it, it

becomes louder and more orchestrated or it fades because it

was an illusion.

Searching for WAY COOL, like searching for most things,

means going on an adventure.

Searching for WAY COOL, like searching for most things,

means going on an adventure.

Adventures have at least two aspects.

You can’t know for sure how they will turn out.

There has to be at least some danger.

Adventures have at least two aspects.

You can’t know for sure how they will turn out.

There has to be at least some danger.

That’s why jumping off a one story building is an adventure

and jumping off a ten story building isn’t.

That’s why jumping off a one story building is an adventure

and jumping off a ten story building isn’t.

We know how that turns out!We know how that turns out!

Going into any aspect of life is like going into a movie.

Going into any aspect of life is like going into a movie.

There’s a price of admission to be paid with your hands, arms, feet

and mouth as well as your thoughts, images and sensations.

Will you pay?

Will you pay willingly?

There’s a price of admission to be paid with your hands, arms, feet

and mouth as well as your thoughts, images and sensations.

Will you pay?

Will you pay willingly?

You can’t go if you won’t pay.You can’t go if you won’t pay.

And if you won’t pay willingly, the trip will be bumpier!

And if you won’t pay willingly, the trip will be bumpier!

“Will I find ice cream WAY COOL?”

“Will I find ice cream WAY COOL?”

You could ask those who never had any.

You could ask those who have had some.

You could read a book about it.

You could eat some ice cream.

You could ask those who never had any.

You could ask those who have had some.

You could read a book about it.

You could eat some ice cream.

Thriving requires SurvivingThriving requires Surviving

and

Surviving isn’t Thriving

and

Surviving isn’t Thriving

While all other beings are living their lives as best they can,

While all other beings are living their lives as best they can,

as far as we know,

only we can TRY to live our lives as best we can.

We can act WITH purpose, ON purpose.

as far as we know,

only we can TRY to live our lives as best we can.

We can act WITH purpose, ON purpose.

“Happy” and “Unhappy” are names for two relationships we

can have with our lives containing sorrow, fulfillment and

the in between.

“Happy” and “Unhappy” are names for two relationships we

can have with our lives containing sorrow, fulfillment and

the in between.

Us

Our Relationship with

Life as Sorrow, Fulfillment and In Between.

Us

Our Relationship with


HAPPINESSHAPPINESS

Us

A Permission Giving Relationship with


Us

A Permission Giving Relationship with


UNHAPPINESSUNHAPPINESS

Us

A Permission Withholding Relationship with


Us

A Permission Withholding Relationship with


HAPPINESS IS NOT

FULFILLMENT

HAPPINESS IS NOT

FULFILLMENT

UNHAPPINESS IS NOT

SORROW

UNHAPPINESS IS NOT

SORROW

If you want HAPPINESS and don’t get it you will feel sad.

If you want HAPPINESS and don’t get it you will feel sad. And, your sorrow isn’t unhappiness.

You could be sad and happy by maintaining a permission giving relationship with life as

sorrow, fulfillment and in between.

You could be sad and unhappy by maintaining a permission withholding

relationship with life as sorrow, fulfillment and in between.

And, your sorrow isn’t unhappiness.

You could be sad and happy by maintaining a permission giving relationship with life as

sorrow, fulfillment and in between.

You could be sad and unhappy by maintaining a permission withholding

relationship with life as sorrow, fulfillment and in between.

If you want HAPPINESS and get it, you will feel fulfillment.If you want HAPPINESS and get it, you will feel fulfillment. And, your fulfillment isn’t happiness.

You will experience fulfillment because you wanted

a certain relationship with life as sorrow, fulfillment and in between

and you got that relationship.

At least for the moment!

And, your fulfillment isn’t happiness.

You will experience fulfillment because you wanted

a certain relationship with life as sorrow, fulfillment and in between

and you got that relationship.

At least for the moment!

And -And -

You can walk and chew gum at the same time!

You don’t HAVE TO spend your whole life pursuing HAPPINESS.

Pursue whatever your WAY COOL(S) is/are and maintain a relationship of HAPPINESS

while doing it.

You can walk and chew gum at the same time!

You don’t HAVE TO spend your whole life pursuing HAPPINESS.

Pursue whatever your WAY COOL(S) is/are and maintain a relationship of HAPPINESS

while doing it.

This mode of spiritual development does not aim at either fulfillment or happiness.

This mode of spiritual development does not aim at either fulfillment or happiness.

It aims at fulfillment and happiness!

And that aim requires developing psychological

flexibility!

It aims at fulfillment and happiness!

And that aim requires developing psychological

flexibility!

Spiritual LoveSpiritual Love Looking out for someone’s, or

something’s, long-term best interests.

It is a choice.

A choice not necessarily related to affection, affiliation, or sexual

attraction.

Looking out for someone’s, or something’s, long-term best

interests.

It is a choice.

A choice not necessarily related to affection, affiliation, or sexual

attraction.

You can love yourself, as well as others, but maybe not at the

same time.

You can love yourself, as well as others, but maybe not at the

same time.

The price of being a sensitive human being is that you will feel

the pain of others.

The price of being a sensitive human being is that you will feel

the pain of others.

The price of living YOUR life will be bringing pain, in the form of sorrow, into the lives of others.

The price of living YOUR life will be bringing pain, in the form of sorrow, into the lives of others.

Why?Why?

Because in living YOUR life, you will not always be giving others what they want.

And sorrow is what happens when people don’t get what they want.

And, if you are a sensitive human being, you will feel the sorrow you are giving

them!

Because in living YOUR life, you will not always be giving others what they want.

And sorrow is what happens when people don’t get what they want.

And, if you are a sensitive human being, you will feel the sorrow you are giving

them!

And what the hell kind of world is that?!

And what the hell kind of world is that?!

The one we appear

to be living in!

The one we appear

to be living in!

ForgivenessForgiveness

Forgiveness means you stop holding the facts against

someone (e.g. your mate) or something (e.g. the world in

general).

Forgiveness means you stop holding the facts against

someone (e.g. your mate) or something (e.g. the world in

general).

Forgiveness does not mean forgetting the facts, excusing the facts,

or anything other than not holding the facts against someone or something.

Forgiveness does not mean forgetting the facts, excusing the facts,

or anything other than not holding the facts against someone or something.

If you stop holding the facts against someone or something, that doesn’t mean you couldn’t

start doing it again.

If you stop holding the facts against someone or something, that doesn’t mean you couldn’t

start doing it again.

And the fact that you started doing it again doesn’t mean you

couldn’t stop doing it,

And the fact that you started doing it again doesn’t mean you

couldn’t stop doing it,

AGAIN!AGAIN!

Forgiveness is like pushing your finger hard against someone, or

something, and then “letting go.”

Forgiveness is like pushing your finger hard against someone, or

something, and then “letting go.”

If you are pushing hard against someone else, then

If you are pushing hard against someone else, then

you have to release their pain in order to release yours.

That’s the price of admission to letting go of the pain of

unforgiveness.

you have to release their pain in order to release yours.

That’s the price of admission to letting go of the pain of

unforgiveness.

And how often are you pushing against something other than an

actual living being?

And how often are you pushing against something other than an

actual living being?

There’s no one “there” and yet you keep pushing, pushing,

pushing.

There’s no one “there” and yet you keep pushing, pushing,

pushing.

The only pain being generated is YOURS!

The only pain being generated is YOURS!

Of course, if you want to keep pushing, a good story can help.Of course, if you want to keep

pushing, a good story can help.

That bitch or bastard!

He, she or it WRONGED me!

I’m not going to let them get away with that!

They deserve a good smashing and bashing!

And I’m just the person to give it to them!

That bitch or bastard!

He, she or it WRONGED me!

I’m not going to let them get away with that!

They deserve a good smashing and bashing!

And I’m just the person to give it to them!

Did you ever hear

a story like that?

Did you ever hear

a story like that?

Did you ever tell

a story like that?

Did you ever tell

a story like that?

And by the way,And by the way,

YOU are one of the “someones” you could stop holding the

facts against.

YOU could forgive yourself.

AGAIN!

YOU are one of the “someones” you could stop holding the

facts against.

YOU could forgive yourself.

AGAIN!

And you could WILLINGLY

stop holding the facts against someone or something!

And you could WILLINGLY

stop holding the facts against someone or something!

NOW WE’RE TALKING

SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT!

NOW WE’RE TALKING


ReconciliationReconciliation

Reconciliation means giving them, or it, a chance to do it again!

It means going on an adventure where at least some of the danger is being hurt in the same way you

were hurt the last time.

Reconciliation means giving them, or it, a chance to do it again!

It means going on an adventure where at least some of the danger is being hurt in the same way you

were hurt the last time.

And what would be the point of doing that?

And what would be the point of doing that?

I have no idea!

What would be the point of YOU doing that?

I have no idea!

What would be the point of YOU doing that?

What Leading Principle would you be instantiating by

reconciling?

What Leading Principle would you be instantiating by

reconciling?

Or by refusing to reconcile?Or by refusing to reconcile?

And you could do that WILLINGLY!

And you could do that WILLINGLY!

NOW WE’RE TALKING


NOW WE’RE TALKING


Order of ActionOrder of ActionFirst, willingly head in your chosen

direction.

This is not the same as just trying to get away from where you

currently are.

First, willingly head in your chosen direction.

This is not the same as just trying to get away from where you

currently are.

You can’t go without leaving.

You can’t leave without going.

You can’t go without leaving.

You can’t leave without going.

To which one are you giving the emphasis?

Going or leaving?

To which one are you giving the emphasis?

Going or leaving?

Order of ActionOrder of ActionThen, make yourself as

comfortable as possible while you keep on going.

Then, make yourself as comfortable as possible while

you keep on going.

There’s nothing wrong with

“smelling the roses along the way”

as long as it doesn’t make you late for

LIFE!

There’s nothing wrong with

“smelling the roses along the way”

as long as it doesn’t make you late for

LIFE!

Competence & ConfidenceCompetence & ConfidenceYou gain competence about anything

the same way you gained it about riding a bicycle.

First, get on and start riding.When you fall off, you don’t buy either,

“This means I can’t ride,” or

“It hurts so much to fall off, I won’t try any more.”

You gain competence about anything the same way you gained it about

riding a bicycle.First, get on and start riding.

When you fall off, you don’t buy either, “This means I can’t ride,”

or“It hurts so much to fall off, I won’t try

any more.”

Competence & ConfidenceYou gain confidence when you perform

successfully over time and give the credit for your performance to yourself.

Competence & ConfidenceYou gain confidence when you perform

successfully over time and give the credit for your performance to yourself.

Not to it was Tuesday.Not to the bike was red.

Not to the audience was friendly.And not to, “I just got lucky.”

Not to it was Tuesday.Not to the bike was red.

Not to the audience was friendly.And not to, “I just got lucky.”

The Parable of the SkydiverThe Parable of the Skydiver

Skydiver dove out of an airplane.

Neither the regular chute nor the emergency chute opened.

Skydiver realized there were at least four possibilities:

Skydiver dove out of an airplane.

Neither the regular chute nor the emergency chute opened.

Skydiver realized there were at least four possibilities:

The Parable of the SkydiverFace the ground and enjoy the ride down.

The Parable of the SkydiverFace the ground and enjoy the ride down.

Start worrying about what would happen when s/he hit the ground.

Review in exquisite detail exactly how s/he got into this situation.

Work as diligently as possible to get the emergency chute open.

Start worrying about what would happen when s/he hit the ground.

Review in exquisite detail exactly how s/he got into this situation.

Work as diligently as possible to get the emergency chute open.

ACT for Spiritual DevelopmentACT for Spiritual Development

Accept the world as it is, was or may be.

Choose, and willingly follow, your Leading Principles.

Teach others to do the same.

Accept the world as it is, was or may be.

Choose, and willingly follow, your Leading Principles.

Teach others to do the same.

Documents

ACT for Spiritual Development Hank Robb, Ph.D., ABPP