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1800 888 896 www.access.org.au [email protected]
Welcome to the June 2012 edition of the AccessAustralia eNews. This month:
1. Donating to AccessAustralia 2. AccessA at the Pharmaceutical Society of Australia Expo 3. The last thing you want to hear … 4. IVF: Embryo chromosomes test ‘increases success rate’ 5. Don’t forget to join us on Facebook 6. My story
… also upcoming events and recent news articles of interest to those who have difficulties conceiving. 1. Donating to AccessAustralia
With June 30 approaching fast, don’t forget that any donations to ACCESS are tax deductible! Just contact Emma our office to make a donation. You can email her at [email protected] or leave a message for her on 1800 888 896 and she will return your call. Your donations will help us continue to represent your interests and those of all couples experiencing infertility. 2. AccessA at the Pharmaceutical Society of Australia Expo Access was invited to have an exhibit with other consumer groups at the Clinic and Practice Expo of the Pharmaceutical Society of Australia during June. This provided an opportunity for Jan and Sandra to meet with pharmacists and discuss possibilities to place information about infertility and AccessA in pharmacies. AccessA director Dr Anne Clark also spoke about Fertility and Conception in the Therapeutic Update stream of the Expo.
AccessAustralia eNews – June 2012
1800 888 896 www.access.org.au [email protected]
3. The last thing you want to hear … Sometimes people can say the harshest things when you’re dealing with infertility. This article comes from the AccessAustralia Chair, David Rawlings, who is also the author of the book Swimming Upstream: the struggle to conceive)
People have yelled across the car park at the supermarket ‘have you got anything in there yet?’ pointing to my wife’s stomach. You would hope that people would have more intelligence than to ask some of the things that they do. - Daniel, 35
Have you ever been talking to someone about pregnancy, babies or conceiving and they’ve said just one small thing that has made you want to leap over the table and rip their head off? Or has that comment left you stewing for days? Or has your mother or mother-in-law imparted wisdom about conception that has made you want to hire a hit squad? You have? Firstly, I’m sorry to hear that. It happened to my wife and I too … on a regular basis. Secondly, you’re perfectly normal. What you may well find in a conversation between a couple struggling to conceive and a couple who found it easy is a significant amount of misunderstanding and frustration. They really are on different planets when it comes to the story of having a family. So it is a pretty common experience of people who have to wait for their children that those around them aren’t able to imagine what they’re going through. Basic misunderstandings, household myths and old wives tales can sometimes make conversation about their situation with some people a pretty frustrating time. It can be an explosive mix. In the red corner are deep emotions and the intense frustration you have. In the blue corner are people who want to help but may not know how. Some people try to be helpful, some may be embarrassed and say nothing, while others just say the first thing that comes into their mind. Comments, questions or silence can hurt, be cruel, isolate or just leave you feeling downright angry. Most people with fertility difficulties can point out things that other people have said to them that have made them angry or hurt. So why do people say these things? This is what I found when researching Swimming Upstream: Myths and misinformation There is a real lack of understanding in the population in general about fertility issues. Exhibit A: the Family Planning Association in the UK recently found that one-third of British people it surveyed thought that if a woman jumped up and down, washed or urinated immediately after sex, she could prevent pregnancy. [here’s the story] And just in case you think the Mother Country has suddenly lost its marbles, late last year, research revealed 50% of Australian births were unplanned, putting to rest the idea that we plan our families like any other part of our life.
1800 888 896 www.access.org.au [email protected]
(We found four fertility myths that can drive you insane and mention them in the book). If they understood that you couldn’t control the fact that you were struggling to have children, they probably wouldn’t suggest that you relax, try a new herbal remedy or take up yoga. If ignorance is bliss, most people are living in Nirvana when it comes to fertility issues. Look at it through their eyes for a moment. It may be that they see you in pain and want to say something to be helpful, but they just don’t have the right weapon in their artillery to help you fight the battle. So while their comments are usually delivered with the best of intentions, they can just highlight the fact that you are failing to have a family and reopen the wounds yet again. So for some people – we can probably guess that they mean well, but that they just don’t know what to say. With others, the problem is that they think they do. But if their information is based on a myth or a misunderstanding, even though they think they’re helping, they’re not. Awkwardness On the other hand, you may be talking with a person that doesn’t like silence, so they fill in uncomfortable parts of conversation – such as your inability to have kids – with the first thing they can think of. There could be a lot of other reasons for a hurtful comment, maybe even being jealous of a lifestyle which outwardly looks far more exciting than doing the school run. While this doesn’t necessarily help how you may feel after someone says something like that, it may help to put it into context. So how do you get across the idea to someone of what it is really like to be wading through this time of ups and downs, tests and uncertainty? You’re not on your own Most people who have run the infertility marathon of uncertainty have their own experiences of difficult questions and careless comments. They’re so common in fact, that it’s fairly easy to put together a list of the Top Ten Most Challenging Comments. When researching Swimming Upstream we – to quote the famous gameshow host – surveyed 100 people who have dealt with these comments and came up with the Top Ten Most Challenging Comments. So what are the Top 10? You’ll have to wait until the next article! (Swimming Upstream is available online at www.swimmingupstream.com.au.
1800 888 896 www.access.org.au [email protected]
4. IVF: Embryo chromosomes test ‘increases success rate’ A test which checks if an embryo contains the right amount of genetic information could dramatically improve the effectiveness of IVF, a UK biotech company says. Read the full story at: • http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-17942176 5. Don’t forget to join us on Facebook! Thanks to those members who’ve joined us on Facebook, shared their stories, asked questions and offered their comments. If you’d like to join in the conversation, we’re sure there are other members who will benefit from hearing how you’ve addressed the issues you’ve faced … along with the support of sharing your story in a safe community that understands what you’re going through. We’re closing in on 200 likes … so if you haven’t already connected with us, please visit us at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Access-Australia/139771856113076. If you have already linked up, please let us know what sort of discussions or information you’d like to have on Facebook. We realise that infertility can be a very personal time for some, while others enjoy being able to share their experience and learn from others. So what do you want to be able to do? Please let us know at [email protected] or simply post! 6. My story The stories of our members inspire us. Dealing with infertility, treatment, adoption or moving on with life without children can be a personal journey and we thank those members who are willing to share their story as a way to help others. In this edition, Jenny (not her real name) tells her story. “My husband and I started trying to conceive soon after our wedding in 2009. We were 27 years old and very excited about starting a family. After several unsuccessful months, I began fertility charting in an attempt to speed things up. A few months of charting revealed that my luteal phase was on the short side so I visited my GP and was referred to a fertility specialist for investigation. To our shock, fertility tests revealed that our failure to conceive was in fact due to my husband’s low sperm count, and that IVF with ICSI would be our best treatment option.
1800 888 896 www.access.org.au [email protected]
Since commencing IVF treatment in 2010 we have completed two fresh cycles and ten frozen cycles, three of which resulted in chemical pregnancies. During this time I also had a laparoscopy where some mild endometriosis was discovered and removed. Our first fresh IVF cycle resulted in moderate OHSS and I was so unwell I had to take three weeks off work. Despite the physical pain, countless injections and medical procedures I have endured, the hardest aspect of infertility for me has definitely been the emotional impact. Dealing with infertility has undeniably put a strain on my marriage. It’s hardly surprising considering our dinnertime conversations now include how many embryos to transfer this month or how much money we need to borrow in order to undertake another fresh cycle. We have managed this extra stress in our relationship through increased communication and spending quality time together (walking the dog, going out for dinner or anything that removes us from the all-consuming stress of IVF for a while). Our marriage is much harder than I ever imagined it would be and I often need to remind myself that the communication and coping skills we’ve gained throughout this journey will one day make us better parents. Dealing with fertile friends has also been extremely difficult. Pregnancy announcements can feel like a punch in the face; not only is it a reminder of my own inability to conceive but I also feel like I’m being left behind as all my friends are moving on with their lives and building their families with ease. I make an effort to see pregnant friends when I am feeling emotionally resilient and when things are rough I keep in touch with them via email and text message. Some friendships have suffered as a result of my struggles to have a baby but I have found that being honest with people about what we’re going through helps them understand and not take my absences personally. I have also gained several new friends through participation in IVF support groups. These friends help me feel “normal” in my responses to my infertility and having their support and encouragement has helped me persevere with treatment. They understand how gut-wrenching it is to invest so much time, emotion, energy and money into IVF treatment just for a chance of conceiving. Because so much goes into each month of treatment, dealing with a failed cycle is the hardest thing to deal with. For me, it gets harder each time because the more cycles I fail the more I worry that IVF may never work for us. When a cycle ends, I have a big glass of wine and allow myself a day or two to grieve before moving forward with the next cycle. I try to look after myself and acknowledge that I’m going through something really tough. Hopefully it will all be worth it one day.” Many thanks to ‘Jenny’ for sharing her story. If you’d like to do the same, please email David at [email protected]. We will respect your anonymity if you wish to remain anonymous.
1800 888 896 www.access.org.au [email protected]
News articles: Treatment and infertility issues in the global news in the past month: • IVF lowers the chance of miscarriage, TopNews, New Zealand
< http://topnews.net.nz/content/220830-ivf-treatment-lowers-chances-miscarriage-says-research > • Why healthy couples experience pregnancy delays, Business Hallmark, Nigeria
< http://bizhallmark.com/index.php/permalink/6867.html > • Dealing with infertility is a mix of good days and awful days, Metro, Canada
< http://metronews.ca/health/125649/dealing-with-infertility-is-a-roller-coaster-of-good-days-and-awful-days/ >
• Seeds of doubt over male infertility, Sydney Morning Herald, Australia < http://www.smh.com.au/world/seeds-of-doubt-over-male-infertility-20120613-20ae1.html >
• Single hormone shot can replace daily doses in IVF, Chicago Tribune, USA < http://www.chicagotribune.com/health/sns-rt-us-hormone-shot-ivfbre85d1ig-20120614,0,1267049.story >
• Tight Y-fronts really do affect sperm count, scientists find, Telegraph.co.uk, UK < http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/9328425/Tight-Y-fronts-really-do-affect-sperm-count-scientists-find.html >
• Can Wi-Fi cause infertility in men? ABC2news.com, USA < http://www.abc2news.com/dpp/news/health/can-wi-fi-cause-infertility-in-men >
• Ethics body backs potential 3-parent IVF treatment, Reuters.com, UK < http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/06/11/us-ivf-mitochondria-idUSBRE85A1LT20120611 >
• Smoking and drinking may not harm male fertility, Time.com, USA < http://healthland.time.com/2012/06/14/smoking-and-drinking-may-not-affect-male-fertility-much/ >
Please note: all external links were operational at the time of publishing. our feedback AccessA eNews is published for the members. If you have any feedback, thoughts, ideas or links you would like to see included, please send them through to David Rawlings, eNews editor at [email protected]. This eNews is kindly supported by untied educational grants from Merck Serono Australia, MSD and Cook Women’s Health.
