ABC’s of Effective Parenting

Eva Cyrusova

General Objective:

• Increase the awareness of parenting strategies

• Enhance parents’ negotiation skills

Introduction• The goal of parenting?.......Kids - are able to look after themselves- enjoy life- make those around them happy- are caring and kind- stand up for what they believe in- learn self-control- and finally….

BECOMING A COMPETENT ADULT

• What is one thing that your parents have done to guide you toward the goal of becoming a competent adult?

Parenting Styles

• Authoritative parents are warm but firm and consistent.• Set developmentally appropriate limits• Set reasonable standards, moderate on discipline• High in communication and emotional support• Encourages independency and individuality• Allow choices, give alternatives• Use reasoning, negotiation and compromise Their children are independent, socially responsible and less influenced by negative peer pressure.

Authoritarian - Strict• Authoritarian parents show less affection.• Value obedience, respect• Rules are non-negotiable, do not allow reasonable

choices• Discourage independency and individuality• Exercise physical punishment• Their children are greatly influenced by peer pressure,

are passive or rebelling against parents’ values. They have lower

self-esteem.

Permissive • Permissive parents are warm but undemanding. • They are passive in their parenting.• Very low on discipline, structure and expectation. Sets no guidelines.• They do not like to say no or disappoint their children.• They believe that demonstrate their love is to give in to their children’s

wishes.• Their children may have difficulty with self-control, demonstrate

egocentric tendencies, manipulative behaviour. These children are the unhappiest of all (anxiety, depression). Likely to engage in antisocial behaviour. As they have not been taught how to control or discipline themselves, they are less likely to develop self-respect.

Permissive - Uninvolved • Uninvolved parents are not warm, do not place any

demands.• They minimize their interaction time. • Generally do not want to be bothered by their

children.• Their children show similar patterns as children

raised in permissive homes (impulsive behaviour, issues with self-regulation).

Questions:

• Describe the time when you witnessed a parenting technique you felt was very effective (or describe your own).

• Can you think of a time when you encountered an example of ineffective parenting?

Parenting StrategiesD

No.1 No one can be a perfect parent

Do you know your strengths and weaknesses?

No.2 Back each other up

No.3 Communicate, explain, discuss…

No.4 Make and negotiate rules and limits

No.5 Let them learn natural and logical consequences

No.6 Be consistent

No. 7 Praise, praise, praise (and sometimes ignore)

What do you praise your child most for ?

Things you praise your child for tell them a lot about what you believe is important in live.

Problem, Conflict, Disagreement…?

Use No-Lose Method!

Case study

Problem to Solution in 5 Steps

1. Identify the conflict (and people’s feelings)

2. Generate possible solutions (What will that do for me?)

3. Decide on the best solution (which provides the best balance for everyone)

4. Implement the decision5. Evaluate how it worked

THANK YOU!

Questions?