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Writing Project Proposals A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer w riting.markfullmer.com

A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

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Page 1: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

Writing Project Proposals

A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII

22 September 2011Mark Fullmer

writing.markfullmer.com

Page 2: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

What this workshop is NOT for:

• The logic of project proposals• The logic of written communication

What this workshop IS for:

NOT for grammarNOT for vocabularyNOT for pronunciationNOT for the structure of project proposalsNOT for the format of project proposalsNOT for the content of project proposalsNOT for the titles of project proposals

Page 3: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

The Logic of a Project Proposal

(Abstract)I. RationaleII. ObjectivesIII.Methodology(Impact)IV.Budget(Conclusion)

(Abstract)I. RationaleII. ObjectivesIII.Methodology(Impact)IV.Budget(Conclusion)

Page 4: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com
Page 5: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com
Page 6: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

What logical purpose does the “Rationale” serve?

Page 7: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

Which is the better first paragraph for a “Rationale”?

A BUNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE FOR ALL FILIPINOS – The Aquino Health Agenda. One problem espoused in this encompassing health program is the neglect suffered by Public Hospitals and health facilities due to the inadequacy of health budgets. Specifically the neglect lies in the lack of support for the needed upgrades to expand capacity and improve service quality.

Presently, according to Administrative Order No. 2010-0036 from the Office of the Secretary of Health, a total of 892 rural health units (RHUs) and 99 government hospitals have yet to qualify for PhilHealth accreditation as of October 2010.

Page 8: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

Which is the better first paragraph for a “Rationale”?

A BSince the time that the Health Sector Reform Agenda was espoused up to present, it has always been advocated that one of the strategy to reform the health care system of the country is to expand and sustain the membership base of PhilHealth. The framers argued that in doing so would improve the efficiency with which health services are financed and reduce the financial burden…

Current statistics show that PhilHealth now covers 76% of the 2010 projected population of Region 8. Notwithstanding this, the average NHIP Occupancy Rate of government hospitals in Region 8 is only 25%. It is reasonable to expect that Philhealth patients should be near 76% of the total confinements, not a dismal 25%.

Page 9: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

Logic of “Rationale”

The first paragraph should: Immediately identify a problem or

lack Cite statistics or other authority

The last paragraph should: Clearly state a need Predict outcome if this need is not

met

Page 10: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

Which is the better first paragraph for a “Rationale”?

A BUniversal Health Care for all Filipinos – the Aquino agenda. One problem espoused in this encompassing health program is the neglect suffered by Public Hospitals and health facilities due to the inadequacy of health budgets. Specifically the neglect lies in the lack of support for the needed upgrades to expand capacity and improve service quality.

Presently, according to Administrative Order No. 2010-0036 from the Office of the Secretary of Health, a total of 892 rural health units (RHUs) and 99 government hospitals have yet to qualify for PhilHealth accreditation as of October 2010.

Cites an authorityGreek word “ethos”, one of the fundamental ways to persuade

Identifies a specific problem or lack

Page 11: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

A BSince the time that the Health Sector Reform Agenda was espoused up to present, it has always been advocated that one of the strategy to reform the health care system of the country is to expand and sustain the membership base of PhilHealth. The framers argued that in doing so would improve the efficiency with which health services are financed and reduce the financial burden…

Current statistics show that PhilHealth now covers 76% of the 2010 projected population of Region 8. Notwithstanding this, the average NHIP Occupancy Rate of government hospitals in Region 8 is only 25%. It is reasonable to expect that PhilHealth patients should be near 76% of the total confinements, not a dismal 25%.

Which is the better first paragraph for a “Rationale”?

Page 12: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

What could be improved about this first paragraph?

“PhilHealth acknowledges the need to recognize workers who have delivered excellent performance and exemplary deed thus, it has come up with PhilHealth’s Program on Awards and Incentives for Service Excellence (PRAISE). Such strategy increases motivation among workers to excel in their job.”

Page 13: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

On a scale of 1-10, what would you rate this?

Page 14: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

Specific Objectives:1. Motivate workers to excel, innovate, and

display exemplary performance2. Recognize the superior accomplishments of

PhilHealth employees3. Sustain the level of excellence represented by

the PhilHealth Star award4. Inspire co-workers to emulate the Stars as

role models5. Provide a legacy to the existing and future

PhilHealth workers and kin

Page 15: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

The specific objectives are:1. To further motivate workers to excel in their work,

conceptualize innovations as well as exercise good virtues/exemplary behavior in the performance of their duties, be bestowed due recognition, and emerge as PhilHealth Star.

2. For the Stars to sustain/be consistent in living up to the recognition they received and continue to serve as an inspiration to others

3. For co-workers to feel inspired and emulate the example set by the Stars as role models

4. To provide a legacy to the existing and future workers of PhilHealth as well as to the kins of the awardees and serve as an inspiration even up to the future generation through the installation of PhilHealth Gallery Stars.Lacks parallel structure & hides meaning

Page 16: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

Specific Objectives:1. Motivate workers to excel, innovate, and

display exemplary performance2. Recognize the superior accomplishments of

PhilHealth employees3. Sustain the level of excellence represented by

the PhilHealth Star award4. Inspire co-workers to emulate the Stars as

role models5. Provide a legacy to the existing and future

PhilHealth workers and kin

Page 17: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

The specific objectives are:1. To further motivate workers to excel in their work,

conceptualize innovations as well as exercise good virtues/exemplary behavior in the performance of their duties, be bestowed due recognition, and emerge as PhilHealth Star.

2. For the Stars to sustain/be consistent in living up to the recognition they received and continue to serve as an inspiration to others

3. For co-workers to feel inspired and emulate the example set by the Stars as role models

4. To provide a legacy to the existing and future workers of PhilHealth as well as to the kins of the awardees and serve as an inspiration even up to the future generation through the installation of PhilHealth Gallery Stars.Objectives overlap and are repetitive

Page 18: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

Specific Objectives:1. Motivate workers to excel, innovate, and

display exemplary performance2. Recognize the superior accomplishments of

PhilHealth employees3. Sustain the level of excellence represented by

the PhilHealth Star award4. Inspire co-workers to emulate the Stars as

role models5. Provide a legacy to the existing and future

PhilHealth workers and kin

Page 19: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

The specific objectives are:1. To further motivate workers to excel in their work,

conceptualize innovations as well as exercise good virtues/exemplary behavior in the performance of their duties, be bestowed due recognition, and emerge as PhilHealth Star.

2. For the Stars to sustain/be consistent in living up to the recognition they received and continue to serve as an inspiration to others

3. For co-workers to feel inspired and emulate the example set by the Stars as role models

4. To provide a legacy to the existing and future workers of PhilHealth as well as to the kins of the awardees and serve as an inspiration even up to the future generation through the installation of PhilHealth Gallery Stars.Many phrases are redundant and implied

Page 20: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

1. Motivate workers to excel, innovate, and display exemplary performance

2. Recognize the superior accomplishments of PhilHealth employees

3. Sustain the level of excellence represented by the PhilHealth Star award

4. Inspire co-workers to emulate the Stars as role models

5. Provide a legacy to the existing and future PhilHealth workers and kin

Clarity does not equal vagueness (Don’t go too far in streamlining information)

Page 21: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

What I’m NOT saying:

NOT that project proposals should be shorter

NOT that project proposals should be less detailed

Page 22: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

What I AM saying:

Every word in a project proposal should be meaningful

Remove all empty words Statistics, data, examples and

explanations should replace those empty words

Page 23: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

The Logic of Written Communication

Page 24: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

Which is easier to understand:

A or B?

Page 25: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

A B“In the same order, it is also stated that the General Objective of the Universal Health Care approach is to strengthen the National Health Insurance Program (NHIP) as the prime mover in improving financial risk protection, generating resources to modernize and sustain health facilities, and improve the provision of public health services to achieve the Millenium Development Goals.”

“The same order aims to strengthen the National Health Insurance Program (NHIP) in three ways: protect consumers from financial risk, modernize health facilities, and provide better public health services. This is part of the General Objective of Universal Health Care to achieve the Millennium Development Goals (MGDs).”

Page 26: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

A BSince the time that the Health Sector Reform Agenda was espoused up to present, it has always been advocated that one of the strategies to reform the health care system of the country is to expand and sustain the membership base of PhilHealth since the framers argued that in doing so would improve the efficiency with which health services are financed and reduce the financial burden of poor families in getting sick.

Since the Health Sector Reform Agenda’s inception, one strategy to reform the country’s health system has been expanding and sustaining PhilHealth membership. The framers argued this would improve health care financing, especially for poor families.

Page 27: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

Let’s Get Scientific…

Readability

Page 28: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

Flesch-Kincaid Reading EaseClear Unclear = 100.0 0.0

Flesch Grade LevelClear Unclear = 1.0 30.0

Page 29: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

A B“In the same order, it is also stated that the General Objective of the Universal Health Care approach is to strengthen the National Health Insurance Program (NHIP) as the prime mover in improving financial risk protection, generating resources to modernize and sustain health facilities, and improve the provision of public health services to achieve the Millenium Development Goals.”

“The same order aims to strengthen the National Health Insurance Program (NHIP) in three ways: protect consumers from financial risk, modernize health facilities, and provide better public health services. This is part of the General Objective of Universal Health Care to achieve the Millennium Development Goals (MGDs).”

Total words: 57Sentences: 1Passive voice: 100%Flesch Reading Ease: 0.0Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 27.9

Total Words 48Sentences: 3Passive voice: 0%Flesch Reading Ease: 44.3Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 11.0

Page 30: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

A BSince the time that the Health Sector Reform Agenda was espoused up to present, it has always been advocated that one of the strategies to reform the health care system of the country is to expand and sustain the membership base of PhilHealth since the framers argued that in doing so would improve the efficiency with which health services are financed and reduce the financial burden of poor families in getting sick.

Since the Health Sector Reform Agenda’s inception, one strategy to reform the country’s health system has been expanding and sustaining PhilHealth membership. The framers argued this would improve health care financing, especially for poor families.

Total words: 71Sentences: 1Passive voice: 100%Flesch Reading Ease: 9.2Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 29.8

Total Words 35Sentences: 2Passive voice: 0%Flesch Reading Ease: 39.2Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 12.1

Page 31: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

4 Steps to Make Proposal Writing Clearer

1. One sentence, one idea.

Page 32: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

A BSince the time that the Health Sector Reform Agenda was espoused up to present, it has always been advocated that one of the strategies to reform the health care system of the country is to expand and sustain the membership base of PhilHealth since the framers argued that in doing so would improve the efficiency with which health services are financed and reduce the financial burden of poor families in getting sick.

Total words: 71Sentences: 1Passive voice: 100%Flesch Reading Ease: 9.2Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 29.8

Total Words 35Sentences: 2Passive voice: 0%Flesch Reading Ease: 39.2Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 12.1

Since the time that the Health Sector Reform Agenda was espoused up to present, it has always been advocated that one of the strategies to reform the health care system of the country is to expand and sustain the membership base of PhilHealth. The framers argued that in doing so would improve the efficiency with which health services are financed. Furthermore, it would reduce the financial burden of poor families in getting sick.

Page 33: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

4 Steps to Make Proposal Writing Clearer

2. Avoid passive voice.

Page 34: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

Passive voice

The apples were bought by me.I bought the apples.The program is overseen by PhilHealth.PhilHealth oversees the program.…the way in which costs are financed……the cost financing…Point: avoid empty verbs:

is, was, were, are, have been, etc.

Page 35: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

A B

Total words: 71Sentences: 1Passive voice: 100%Flesch Reading Ease: 9.2Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 29.8

Total Words 35Sentences: 2Passive voice: 0%Flesch Reading Ease: 39.2Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 12.1

Since the time that the Health Sector Reform Agenda was espoused up to present, it has always been advocated that one of the strategies to reform the health care system of the country is to expand and sustain the membership base of PhilHealth since the framers argued that in doing so would improve the efficiency with which health services are financed and reduce the financial burden of poor families in getting sick.

Since the time that the Health Sector Reform Agenda was espoused up to present, it has always been advocated that one of the strategies to reform the health care system of the country is to expand and sustain the membership base of PhilHealth since the framers argued that in doing so would improve the efficiency with which health services are financed and reduce the financial burden of poor families in getting sick.

Since the framers espoused the Health Sector Reform agenda….

…they always advocated that…

…would improve financing efficiency…

Page 36: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

4 Steps to Make Proposal Writing Clearer

3. Reduce prepositions

To, from, with, by, in, on, at, into, of

Page 37: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

A B

Total words: 71Sentences: 1Passive voice: 100%Flesch Reading Ease: 9.2Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 29.8

Total Words 35Sentences: 2Passive voice: 0%Flesch Reading Ease: 39.2Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 12.1

Since the Health Sector Reform agenda’s inception….…one health care reform strategy……expanding and sustaining……the PhilHealth membership base……this would improve……the financing efficiency……poor families’ financial burden…

Since the time that the Health Sector Reform Agenda was espoused up to present, it has always been advocated that one of the strategies to reform the health care system of the country is to expand and sustain the membership base of PhilHealth since the framers argued that in doing so would improve the efficiency with which health services are financed and reduce the financial burden of poor families in getting sick.

Since the time that the Health Sector Reform Agenda was espoused up to present, it has always been advocated that one of the strategies to reform the health care system of the country is to expand and sustain the membership base of PhilHealth since the framers argued that in doing so would improve the efficiency with which health services are financed and reduce the financial burden of poor families in getting sick.

11 prepositions!

Page 38: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

A B

Total words: 71Sentences: 1Passive voice: 100%Flesch Reading Ease: 9.2Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 29.8

Total Words 35Sentences: 2Passive voice: 0%Flesch Reading Ease: 39.2Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 12.1

Since the time that the Health Sector Reform Agenda was espoused up to present, it has always been advocated that one of the strategies to reform the health care system of the country is to expand and sustain the membership base of PhilHealth since the framers argued that in doing so would improve the efficiency with which health services are financed and reduce the financial burden of poor families in getting sick.

Since the time that the Health Sector Reform Agenda was espoused up to present, it has always been advocated that one of the strategies to reform the health care system of the country is to expand and sustain the membership base of PhilHealth since the framers argued that in doing so would improve the efficiency with which health services are financed and reduce the financial burden of poor families in getting sick.

11 prepositions!

Since the Health Reform Agenda’s inception, framers always advocated that one health care system reform strategy is to expand and sustain PhilHealth’s membership base. Doing so would improve health financing efficiency and reduce poor families’ financial burden.

1 preposition!

Page 39: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

4 Steps to Make Proposal Writing Clearer

4. Use root-form verbs

ImprovementImprovingImprove

Page 40: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

A B“In the same order is also aiming that the General Objective of the Universal Health Care approach is for strengthening the National Health Insurance Program (NHIP) as the prime mover in improvement of financial risk protection, generation of resources for modernization and sustainment of health facilities, and provision of public health services for achieving the Millenium Development Goals.”

“In the same order is also aiming that the General Objective of the Universal Health Care approach is for strengthening the National Health Insurance Program (NHIP) as the prime mover in improvement of financial risk protection, generation of resources for modernization and sustainment of health facilities, and provision of public health services for achieving the Millenium Development Goals.”

The same order aims to strengthen the National Health Insurance Program (NHIP) in three ways: protect consumers from financial risk, modernize health facilities, and provide better public health services. This is part of the General Objective of Universal Health Care to achieve the Millennium Development Goals (MGDs).

Page 41: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

OutputTask Topic

Compose the 1st paragraph of a great “Rationale”

Create 4 clear and convincing “Objectives”

Proposal for PAMO Incentive Scheme

Group 1 Group 2

Documentation of Best Practices Group 3 Group 4

Page 42: A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII 22 September 2011 Mark Fullmer writing.markfullmer.com

Rationale should…1. Identify a clear problem or lack2. Cite statistics or other authority

Objectives should….3. Be parallel4. Not be repetitive5. Not include implied or obvious phrases

4 Steps to Make Proposal Writing Clearer6. One sentence, one idea7. Avoid passive voice8. Reduce prepositions9. Use root-form verb