View
213
Download
0
Tags:
Embed Size (px)
Citation preview
Writing Project Proposals
A Workshop for PhilHealth Region VIII
22 September 2011Mark Fullmer
writing.markfullmer.com
What this workshop is NOT for:
• The logic of project proposals• The logic of written communication
What this workshop IS for:
NOT for grammarNOT for vocabularyNOT for pronunciationNOT for the structure of project proposalsNOT for the format of project proposalsNOT for the content of project proposalsNOT for the titles of project proposals
The Logic of a Project Proposal
(Abstract)I. RationaleII. ObjectivesIII.Methodology(Impact)IV.Budget(Conclusion)
(Abstract)I. RationaleII. ObjectivesIII.Methodology(Impact)IV.Budget(Conclusion)
What logical purpose does the “Rationale” serve?
Which is the better first paragraph for a “Rationale”?
A BUNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE FOR ALL FILIPINOS – The Aquino Health Agenda. One problem espoused in this encompassing health program is the neglect suffered by Public Hospitals and health facilities due to the inadequacy of health budgets. Specifically the neglect lies in the lack of support for the needed upgrades to expand capacity and improve service quality.
Presently, according to Administrative Order No. 2010-0036 from the Office of the Secretary of Health, a total of 892 rural health units (RHUs) and 99 government hospitals have yet to qualify for PhilHealth accreditation as of October 2010.
Which is the better first paragraph for a “Rationale”?
A BSince the time that the Health Sector Reform Agenda was espoused up to present, it has always been advocated that one of the strategy to reform the health care system of the country is to expand and sustain the membership base of PhilHealth. The framers argued that in doing so would improve the efficiency with which health services are financed and reduce the financial burden…
Current statistics show that PhilHealth now covers 76% of the 2010 projected population of Region 8. Notwithstanding this, the average NHIP Occupancy Rate of government hospitals in Region 8 is only 25%. It is reasonable to expect that Philhealth patients should be near 76% of the total confinements, not a dismal 25%.
Logic of “Rationale”
The first paragraph should: Immediately identify a problem or
lack Cite statistics or other authority
The last paragraph should: Clearly state a need Predict outcome if this need is not
met
Which is the better first paragraph for a “Rationale”?
A BUniversal Health Care for all Filipinos – the Aquino agenda. One problem espoused in this encompassing health program is the neglect suffered by Public Hospitals and health facilities due to the inadequacy of health budgets. Specifically the neglect lies in the lack of support for the needed upgrades to expand capacity and improve service quality.
Presently, according to Administrative Order No. 2010-0036 from the Office of the Secretary of Health, a total of 892 rural health units (RHUs) and 99 government hospitals have yet to qualify for PhilHealth accreditation as of October 2010.
Cites an authorityGreek word “ethos”, one of the fundamental ways to persuade
Identifies a specific problem or lack
A BSince the time that the Health Sector Reform Agenda was espoused up to present, it has always been advocated that one of the strategy to reform the health care system of the country is to expand and sustain the membership base of PhilHealth. The framers argued that in doing so would improve the efficiency with which health services are financed and reduce the financial burden…
Current statistics show that PhilHealth now covers 76% of the 2010 projected population of Region 8. Notwithstanding this, the average NHIP Occupancy Rate of government hospitals in Region 8 is only 25%. It is reasonable to expect that PhilHealth patients should be near 76% of the total confinements, not a dismal 25%.
Which is the better first paragraph for a “Rationale”?
What could be improved about this first paragraph?
“PhilHealth acknowledges the need to recognize workers who have delivered excellent performance and exemplary deed thus, it has come up with PhilHealth’s Program on Awards and Incentives for Service Excellence (PRAISE). Such strategy increases motivation among workers to excel in their job.”
On a scale of 1-10, what would you rate this?
Specific Objectives:1. Motivate workers to excel, innovate, and
display exemplary performance2. Recognize the superior accomplishments of
PhilHealth employees3. Sustain the level of excellence represented by
the PhilHealth Star award4. Inspire co-workers to emulate the Stars as
role models5. Provide a legacy to the existing and future
PhilHealth workers and kin
The specific objectives are:1. To further motivate workers to excel in their work,
conceptualize innovations as well as exercise good virtues/exemplary behavior in the performance of their duties, be bestowed due recognition, and emerge as PhilHealth Star.
2. For the Stars to sustain/be consistent in living up to the recognition they received and continue to serve as an inspiration to others
3. For co-workers to feel inspired and emulate the example set by the Stars as role models
4. To provide a legacy to the existing and future workers of PhilHealth as well as to the kins of the awardees and serve as an inspiration even up to the future generation through the installation of PhilHealth Gallery Stars.Lacks parallel structure & hides meaning
Specific Objectives:1. Motivate workers to excel, innovate, and
display exemplary performance2. Recognize the superior accomplishments of
PhilHealth employees3. Sustain the level of excellence represented by
the PhilHealth Star award4. Inspire co-workers to emulate the Stars as
role models5. Provide a legacy to the existing and future
PhilHealth workers and kin
The specific objectives are:1. To further motivate workers to excel in their work,
conceptualize innovations as well as exercise good virtues/exemplary behavior in the performance of their duties, be bestowed due recognition, and emerge as PhilHealth Star.
2. For the Stars to sustain/be consistent in living up to the recognition they received and continue to serve as an inspiration to others
3. For co-workers to feel inspired and emulate the example set by the Stars as role models
4. To provide a legacy to the existing and future workers of PhilHealth as well as to the kins of the awardees and serve as an inspiration even up to the future generation through the installation of PhilHealth Gallery Stars.Objectives overlap and are repetitive
Specific Objectives:1. Motivate workers to excel, innovate, and
display exemplary performance2. Recognize the superior accomplishments of
PhilHealth employees3. Sustain the level of excellence represented by
the PhilHealth Star award4. Inspire co-workers to emulate the Stars as
role models5. Provide a legacy to the existing and future
PhilHealth workers and kin
The specific objectives are:1. To further motivate workers to excel in their work,
conceptualize innovations as well as exercise good virtues/exemplary behavior in the performance of their duties, be bestowed due recognition, and emerge as PhilHealth Star.
2. For the Stars to sustain/be consistent in living up to the recognition they received and continue to serve as an inspiration to others
3. For co-workers to feel inspired and emulate the example set by the Stars as role models
4. To provide a legacy to the existing and future workers of PhilHealth as well as to the kins of the awardees and serve as an inspiration even up to the future generation through the installation of PhilHealth Gallery Stars.Many phrases are redundant and implied
1. Motivate workers to excel, innovate, and display exemplary performance
2. Recognize the superior accomplishments of PhilHealth employees
3. Sustain the level of excellence represented by the PhilHealth Star award
4. Inspire co-workers to emulate the Stars as role models
5. Provide a legacy to the existing and future PhilHealth workers and kin
Clarity does not equal vagueness (Don’t go too far in streamlining information)
What I’m NOT saying:
NOT that project proposals should be shorter
NOT that project proposals should be less detailed
What I AM saying:
Every word in a project proposal should be meaningful
Remove all empty words Statistics, data, examples and
explanations should replace those empty words
The Logic of Written Communication
Which is easier to understand:
A or B?
A B“In the same order, it is also stated that the General Objective of the Universal Health Care approach is to strengthen the National Health Insurance Program (NHIP) as the prime mover in improving financial risk protection, generating resources to modernize and sustain health facilities, and improve the provision of public health services to achieve the Millenium Development Goals.”
“The same order aims to strengthen the National Health Insurance Program (NHIP) in three ways: protect consumers from financial risk, modernize health facilities, and provide better public health services. This is part of the General Objective of Universal Health Care to achieve the Millennium Development Goals (MGDs).”
A BSince the time that the Health Sector Reform Agenda was espoused up to present, it has always been advocated that one of the strategies to reform the health care system of the country is to expand and sustain the membership base of PhilHealth since the framers argued that in doing so would improve the efficiency with which health services are financed and reduce the financial burden of poor families in getting sick.
Since the Health Sector Reform Agenda’s inception, one strategy to reform the country’s health system has been expanding and sustaining PhilHealth membership. The framers argued this would improve health care financing, especially for poor families.
Let’s Get Scientific…
Readability
Flesch-Kincaid Reading EaseClear Unclear = 100.0 0.0
Flesch Grade LevelClear Unclear = 1.0 30.0
A B“In the same order, it is also stated that the General Objective of the Universal Health Care approach is to strengthen the National Health Insurance Program (NHIP) as the prime mover in improving financial risk protection, generating resources to modernize and sustain health facilities, and improve the provision of public health services to achieve the Millenium Development Goals.”
“The same order aims to strengthen the National Health Insurance Program (NHIP) in three ways: protect consumers from financial risk, modernize health facilities, and provide better public health services. This is part of the General Objective of Universal Health Care to achieve the Millennium Development Goals (MGDs).”
Total words: 57Sentences: 1Passive voice: 100%Flesch Reading Ease: 0.0Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 27.9
Total Words 48Sentences: 3Passive voice: 0%Flesch Reading Ease: 44.3Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 11.0
A BSince the time that the Health Sector Reform Agenda was espoused up to present, it has always been advocated that one of the strategies to reform the health care system of the country is to expand and sustain the membership base of PhilHealth since the framers argued that in doing so would improve the efficiency with which health services are financed and reduce the financial burden of poor families in getting sick.
Since the Health Sector Reform Agenda’s inception, one strategy to reform the country’s health system has been expanding and sustaining PhilHealth membership. The framers argued this would improve health care financing, especially for poor families.
Total words: 71Sentences: 1Passive voice: 100%Flesch Reading Ease: 9.2Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 29.8
Total Words 35Sentences: 2Passive voice: 0%Flesch Reading Ease: 39.2Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 12.1
4 Steps to Make Proposal Writing Clearer
1. One sentence, one idea.
A BSince the time that the Health Sector Reform Agenda was espoused up to present, it has always been advocated that one of the strategies to reform the health care system of the country is to expand and sustain the membership base of PhilHealth since the framers argued that in doing so would improve the efficiency with which health services are financed and reduce the financial burden of poor families in getting sick.
Total words: 71Sentences: 1Passive voice: 100%Flesch Reading Ease: 9.2Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 29.8
Total Words 35Sentences: 2Passive voice: 0%Flesch Reading Ease: 39.2Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 12.1
Since the time that the Health Sector Reform Agenda was espoused up to present, it has always been advocated that one of the strategies to reform the health care system of the country is to expand and sustain the membership base of PhilHealth. The framers argued that in doing so would improve the efficiency with which health services are financed. Furthermore, it would reduce the financial burden of poor families in getting sick.
4 Steps to Make Proposal Writing Clearer
2. Avoid passive voice.
Passive voice
The apples were bought by me.I bought the apples.The program is overseen by PhilHealth.PhilHealth oversees the program.…the way in which costs are financed……the cost financing…Point: avoid empty verbs:
is, was, were, are, have been, etc.
A B
Total words: 71Sentences: 1Passive voice: 100%Flesch Reading Ease: 9.2Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 29.8
Total Words 35Sentences: 2Passive voice: 0%Flesch Reading Ease: 39.2Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 12.1
Since the time that the Health Sector Reform Agenda was espoused up to present, it has always been advocated that one of the strategies to reform the health care system of the country is to expand and sustain the membership base of PhilHealth since the framers argued that in doing so would improve the efficiency with which health services are financed and reduce the financial burden of poor families in getting sick.
Since the time that the Health Sector Reform Agenda was espoused up to present, it has always been advocated that one of the strategies to reform the health care system of the country is to expand and sustain the membership base of PhilHealth since the framers argued that in doing so would improve the efficiency with which health services are financed and reduce the financial burden of poor families in getting sick.
Since the framers espoused the Health Sector Reform agenda….
…they always advocated that…
…would improve financing efficiency…
4 Steps to Make Proposal Writing Clearer
3. Reduce prepositions
To, from, with, by, in, on, at, into, of
A B
Total words: 71Sentences: 1Passive voice: 100%Flesch Reading Ease: 9.2Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 29.8
Total Words 35Sentences: 2Passive voice: 0%Flesch Reading Ease: 39.2Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 12.1
Since the Health Sector Reform agenda’s inception….…one health care reform strategy……expanding and sustaining……the PhilHealth membership base……this would improve……the financing efficiency……poor families’ financial burden…
Since the time that the Health Sector Reform Agenda was espoused up to present, it has always been advocated that one of the strategies to reform the health care system of the country is to expand and sustain the membership base of PhilHealth since the framers argued that in doing so would improve the efficiency with which health services are financed and reduce the financial burden of poor families in getting sick.
Since the time that the Health Sector Reform Agenda was espoused up to present, it has always been advocated that one of the strategies to reform the health care system of the country is to expand and sustain the membership base of PhilHealth since the framers argued that in doing so would improve the efficiency with which health services are financed and reduce the financial burden of poor families in getting sick.
11 prepositions!
A B
Total words: 71Sentences: 1Passive voice: 100%Flesch Reading Ease: 9.2Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 29.8
Total Words 35Sentences: 2Passive voice: 0%Flesch Reading Ease: 39.2Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 12.1
Since the time that the Health Sector Reform Agenda was espoused up to present, it has always been advocated that one of the strategies to reform the health care system of the country is to expand and sustain the membership base of PhilHealth since the framers argued that in doing so would improve the efficiency with which health services are financed and reduce the financial burden of poor families in getting sick.
Since the time that the Health Sector Reform Agenda was espoused up to present, it has always been advocated that one of the strategies to reform the health care system of the country is to expand and sustain the membership base of PhilHealth since the framers argued that in doing so would improve the efficiency with which health services are financed and reduce the financial burden of poor families in getting sick.
11 prepositions!
Since the Health Reform Agenda’s inception, framers always advocated that one health care system reform strategy is to expand and sustain PhilHealth’s membership base. Doing so would improve health financing efficiency and reduce poor families’ financial burden.
1 preposition!
4 Steps to Make Proposal Writing Clearer
4. Use root-form verbs
ImprovementImprovingImprove
A B“In the same order is also aiming that the General Objective of the Universal Health Care approach is for strengthening the National Health Insurance Program (NHIP) as the prime mover in improvement of financial risk protection, generation of resources for modernization and sustainment of health facilities, and provision of public health services for achieving the Millenium Development Goals.”
“In the same order is also aiming that the General Objective of the Universal Health Care approach is for strengthening the National Health Insurance Program (NHIP) as the prime mover in improvement of financial risk protection, generation of resources for modernization and sustainment of health facilities, and provision of public health services for achieving the Millenium Development Goals.”
The same order aims to strengthen the National Health Insurance Program (NHIP) in three ways: protect consumers from financial risk, modernize health facilities, and provide better public health services. This is part of the General Objective of Universal Health Care to achieve the Millennium Development Goals (MGDs).
OutputTask Topic
Compose the 1st paragraph of a great “Rationale”
Create 4 clear and convincing “Objectives”
Proposal for PAMO Incentive Scheme
Group 1 Group 2
Documentation of Best Practices Group 3 Group 4
Rationale should…1. Identify a clear problem or lack2. Cite statistics or other authority
Objectives should….3. Be parallel4. Not be repetitive5. Not include implied or obvious phrases
4 Steps to Make Proposal Writing Clearer6. One sentence, one idea7. Avoid passive voice8. Reduce prepositions9. Use root-form verb