Grady: Why was the cookie sad?Luca: I’m stumped.Grady: Because its mom was a wafer so long.Grady S., Spanish Fort, Alabama

KILLIAN: Knock, knock.GARY: Who’s there?KILLIAN: Pizza.GARY: Pizza, who?KILLIAN: Pizza on earth, good will toward men!Killian L., Greensburg, Pennsylvania

ANDREW: What did the pepper say on its holiday card?LUKE: I don’t know.ANDREW: “Season’s greetings.”Andrew T., Allen, Texas

Darth Vader: I know what you’re getting for Christmas.Luke: How do you know?Darth Vader: I can feel your presents.Mark R., Barrington, Rhode Island

NOAH: What is a bird’s favorite Christmas story?MIKE: I haven’t a clue.NOAH: The Finch Who Stole Christmas.Noah B., Port Deposit, Maryland

AMANDA: What’s the difference between Santa’s reindeer and a knight?ROBERT: What?AMANDA: One slays the dragon, and the other’s draggin’ the sleigh.Som K., Franklin Square, New York

Think&  Grin

PocketEdition

HOLIDAY

PEDRO’S PICK

SISTER: What are you giving Mom and Dad for Christmas?”BROTHER: A list of everything I want!

Calvin L., Orlando, Florida

Caleb: What does Christmas have to do with a cat lost in the desert?Ben: Beats me.Caleb: They both have sandy claws. Joshua H., Seminole, Florida

BILL: Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? LAURA: Why?BILL: Because the present’s beneath them.Bill G., Davis, California

SEAN: Knock, knock.FAWN: Who’s there?SEAN: Murray.FAWN: Murray who?SEAN: Murray Christmas, one and all!Sean H., Farmington, New Mexico

TEACHER: Joe, define claustrophobia.JOE: Fear of Santa Claus? Ronesha M., Allen, Texas

RYLAN: What does a grumpy sheep say at Christmas?RYAN: What?RYLAN: “Baaaa humbug!”Rylan M., Milwaukee, Wisconsin

A BOOK NEVER WRITTEN: “Joyful Occasions” by Holly Daze.Matthew H., Northridge, California

One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, “It’s going to rain.”

His wife asked, “How do you know?”

“Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”

Jorgen R., Prunedale, California

A BOOK NEVER WRITTEN: “How to Decorate a Tree” by Orna Ment. Justin L., Galena, Ohio

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