A Bleak Armageddon in a

Kingdom of Hope

A counsellor’s journey through personal development to counselling practice

Amanda Parfitt MSc. Reg. MBACP (accred).

Counsellor/Psychotherapist/Clinical Supervisor

Devil On My Shoulder

Counselling a Jehovah’s Witness as a disfellowshipped Jehovah’s Witness

“Armageddon of the Soul or Resurrection of Hope? “I” as a religious/social reject and “I” as a person-centred therapist. An exploration of the juxtaposition of Rejection and Acceptance”

A Dissertation 2012.

Fragmentation

“The assumptive world order is the

set of illusions that shelter the

human soul”

Kauffman

Fear. Aloneness. Loathing.

Religious Trauma Syndrome

1. Cognitive: Confusion, poor critical thinking ability, negative beliefs about self ability and self-worth, black and white thinking.

2. Emotional: Depression, anxiety, anger, grief, loneliness, difficulty with pleasure, loss of meaning.

3. Social: Loss of social network, family rupture, social awkwardness.

4. Cultural: Unfamiliarity with secular world, “fish out of water” feelings, difficulty belonging, information gaps (e,g no knowledge of things outside of the religious community).

Marlene Winell

Sunrise of Hope

A Guide to Light my Way

Carl Rogers and Person-Centred Being

• 1. Rogers grew up in an atmosphere of religion and ethics.

• 2. He was lonely and sought consolation in books.

• 3. He was protected by his parents from temptations of city life. His upbringing deprived him of experiencing others outside the family.

• 4. He had a deep yearning for intimacy.

• 5. He felt distanced from his comtemporaries.

• 6.Deeply religious when young. He admired the personality of Christ.

• 7. He rejected the notion of Original Sin.

Core Conditions

• 1. Two persons in psychological contact.

• 2. Client in a state of incongruence, being vulnerable or anxious.

• 3. Therapist is congruent in the relationship.

• 4. Therapist experiences positive unconditional regard towards the client.

• 5. Therapist is experiencing an empathic understandingof the client.s internal frame

of reference.

• 6. Client perceives UPR and empathic understanding from the therapist.

EMPATHY CONGRUENCE UNCONDITIONAL POSITIVE REGARD

Client Centred Therapy

Rogers believed in a person’s growth and actualization. This contrasted with the Christian belief in sin culminating in guilt, judgement and punishment.

• He believed that “when the counsellor is favourably received, it is as someone with warmth and interest for the client, someone with understanding” (pg 69).

• Client is “responsible for himself ” in the counselling relationship.

• “The counsellor is sometimes with the client…at times he lags behind with his understanding” (pg 113).

• “…the keeping of the locus of responsibility in the client is far more therapeutic”.(pg 122).

• “…I don’t concentrate on being myself..I just am”. (pg129)

• The intense focusing on the self in person centred therapy results in “less self-consciousness and more self ”. (pg 129). Client Centred Therapy. Carl R.Rogers

Carl Rogers and Person-Centred Being

This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND

• I believe there is a parallel between the Core Conditions and the teaching of Christ to love one another, an agape, brotherly love which is unconditional and accepting.

• I think this shows in Roger’s work as it is written that at a deep level he was not free of the conditioning of his childhood. He battled with Christianity and at the end of his life he embraced spirituality and the transcendent, describing a therapeutic encounter as “indescribable “ and “spiritual”.

A Mutual Grace

Client in the Space

Distraction and Triggers: Client is a practising Jehovah’s Witness.

Ethical Dilemma: Do I tell the client I am disfellowshipped? Can I be fully present and stay within their locus? What happens if my feelings overwhelm me? Will I wish to rescue the client? How can I pretend to not understand their religious jargon?

Irony: Being thanked by a client for helping them when, in their religion they have condemned me to isolation and death.

The importance of clinical supervision: To be able to talk all this through with my supervisor keeps me grounded.

Identifying personal growth and acceptance of limitations and deeply ingrained conditioning: Awareness of triggers and feelings as they arise helps me to stay focused and emotionally stable.

Soul to Soul Relational Depth

• “A state of profound contact and engagement between two people in which each person is fully real with the Other, and able to understand and value the Other’s experiences at a high level” Mearns & Cooper

• “…most in depth moments of relating occurred in silence: a second of eye contact, a touch on the shoulder, a laugh shared…” (pg 47).

• Openness to being affected by the client “…if a client’s beliefs really challenge a therapist’s world view…it might be an indication of just how open the therapist is to the client and how willing she is to let the client matter to, and impact upon, her.” (pg. 124).

Allow the Client to Matter to You

•“ I urge you to let your patients matter to

you, to let them enter your mind,

influence you, change you…”

Irvin Yalom

Love. Acceptance. Peace.

“Our job is to love others without stopping to

enquire whether or not they are worthy”.

My job is also to love myself because I am

worthy.

References

Kauffman, J. (2002). Safety and the assumptive world in J. Kauffman (Ed.), Loss of the assumptive world (pp205-211), New York:Brunner-Routledge.

McMillan, M.(2004). The person-centred approach to therapeutic change. London:Sage.

Mearns, D., & Cooper, M. (2995). Working at relational depth in counselling and psychotherapy. London:Sage.

Rogers, C. R. (1951). Client-centred therapy. London:Constable.

Thorne, B. (2003). Carl rog.ers (2nd ed.). London:Sage.

Winell, M. (1993). Leaving the fold: a guide for former fundamentalists and others leaving their religion. Berkeley:Apocryphile Press.

Yalom, Irvin. D. (2002). The gift of therapy:reflections on being a therapist. London:Piatkus