9 Addictions 90% of Us Struggle With

5/25/2015 9Addictions90%OfUsStruggleWith|

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9 ADDICTIONS 90% OF USSTRUGGLE WITH

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by MARC CHERNOFF

\

Im addicted! she said.

But didnt you just tell me youve been clean for 15 years? Iasked.

I have been, she said.

So what are you addicted to? I asked.

To doing what I shouldnt be doing, even though I know better,she said. Im addicted to doing it the wrong way, because itseasier and safer, and just the way Ive always done it. Imaddicted to letting my negativity and anger and fear get the bestof me every day. And honestly, thats just scratching the surfaceof it. But the scariest part of it all is that I know dozens of otherpeople who are just like me in this regard. Were all addicts andwe dont even acknowledge it!

Those are lines right out of a live chat session I had this morning

Weareaddictedtoourthoughts.Wecannotchangeanythingifwecannotchangeour

thinking.

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with a coaching client and student of ours. Im sharing this withyou (with permission) because nothing could be closer to thetruth.

Almost every one of us is an addict, and what we are addicted tois

1. WANTING AND EXPECTINGEVERYTHING TO BE EASY.All great achievements require time and work. Good things dontcome easy. And patience is the only way you can endure thegrey periods.

When we want things to be easy, and expect them to be, we areinevitably disappointed. Our disappointment then motivates usto give up too soon. And the thing with giving up too soon is younever know. You never know whether you could have put in theeffort and done something incredible with your life. I madechanges because I was sick of not knowing. What about you?

Find the courage to do the hard things in life. The things no oneelse is doing. The things that frighten you. The things otherscant do for you. The things that make you question how muchlonger you can hold on and push forward. Because those are thethings that define you. Those are the things that make thedifference between existing and living between knowing thepath and walking the path between a life of mediocrity and alife filled with happiness and success.

Yes, find the courage!

And remember, courage doesnt always roar out load.Sometimes courage is simply the quiet voice at the end of theday whispering, I will try again tomorrow.

2. SHACKLING OURSELVES TO WHATWE ALREADY KNOW.We are products of our past, but we dont have to be prisoners ofit. When you stop learning you stop living a meaningful life.Lifes richness does not come from always residing withinfamiliar and comfortable territory. Its when you venture out



away from the familiar that you grow stronger and morecapable.

You must hold tightly to your core values while at the same timeopening your heart and mind to new ideas, feelings andexperiences. Your own perspective will become clearer whenyou look at things from different angles. Find ways to provide ahealthy challenge to your current understanding of life, and youwill discover and experience far more of lifes magic in the daysahead.

Bottom line: As long as you are breathing, you are justbeginning. NOW is a new beginning. Dont pretend like yourestuck. You arent. (Read The Book of Awakening.)

3. COMPARING OURSELVES TOEVERYONE ELSE, AND THENCOMPETING WITH THEM.Let go of the foolish need to compare yourself to everyone else,and youll free yourself to accomplish what matters most to you.Sometimes you have to remind yourself that you dont have toalways be and do what everyone else is being and doing.

If you compete with others, you will become bitter. If youcompete with a previous version of yourself, you will becomebetter. Its as simple as that. You are not in competition withanybody except yourself; plan to outdo your past not otherpeople.

And keep in mind that when youre not competing againstothers, you can instead work with them on a common goal. Youcan use your combined insights and talents to achieve what noneof you can alone. Incredible personal growth and learningoccurs through relationships when the competitive spirit isreplaced with a collaborative one.

4. SECRETLY WISHING FOREVERYONES STAMP OF APPROVAL.You dont need anyones affection or approval in order to begood enough in your own eyes.



Repeat that to yourself and think about it.

When someone rejects or abandons or judges you, 99% of thetime it isnt actually about you. Its about them and their owninsecurities, limitations, and needs, and you dont have tointernalize any of it.

Yourworthisnt

contingent upon other peoples acceptance of you itssomething inherent. You are alive, and therefore you matter.Youre allowed to think things and feel things. Youre allowed toassert your needs and take up space. Youre allowed to hold onto the truth that who you are is worthy. And youre allowed toremove anyone from your life who insists on making you feelotherwise.

5. TAKING THINGS PERSONALLY ANDDRAMATICALLY.Another driver cut you off in traffic. Your friend never texted youback. Your coworker went to lunch without you. Everyone canfind a reason to be offended on a daily basis. But what causedyou to be offended? You took things personally anddramatically. You made it all about YOU by assigning negativeintent to these otherwise innocent actions. And you let yourtemper roar.

Dont do this to yourself. Dont pretend like everyones actionsare about YOU. They arent. Peoples actions are about THEM.So let it GO!



How would your life be different if you walked away from drama,gossip and unconstructive assumptions?

Let today be the day you find out. (Read The Four Agreements.)

6. BEING MORE LOVING TO OTHERSTHAN WE ARE TO OURSELVES.Life gets a lot easier when you are your own best friend. So dontforget about YOU out there, and dont be too hard on yourselfeither. There are plenty of others that will do both of thesethings for you.

Theres absolutely nothing selfish about self-care. If you donttake good care of yourself then you cant take good care ofanyone else. Because we cant give what we dont have. Treatyourself right and youll be life-giving to others.

7. BELIEVING WE DONT HAVEENOUGH TO GIVE BACK.You dont have it all, but you have more than enough. Dont bescared to share.

Generosity is what keeps the things you own from owning you.In other words, generosity isnt just to help others, its also toliberate you. Which is why you cannot live abundantly until youhave done something nice for someone who can never repayyou. Know this and live graciously.

There is no exercise better for your heart and mind thanreaching down and lifting people up.

8. THINKING AND THINKING, ANDOVER-THINKING SOME MORE.Sometimes your mind unnecessarily wrestles with events thatarent even remotely likely. Your sore throat is life threatening.Your lost drivers license fell into the hands of a miscreantlooking to steal your identity. Negativity like this only breedsmore negativity. Its a happiness riptide. It will carry you awayfrom the shore and, if you dont swim away, it will pull youunder.



Never over-think a dilemma. Answers come to a relaxed mind.Space allows things to fall into place. A calm attitude yields thebest results.

When your fears and anxieties have you looking too deeply intothings, it creates problems it doesnt fix them. If you think andyou think and you think, youll think yourself right out ofhappiness a thousand times, and never once into it.

9. DREAMING OF WHAT COULD HAVEBEEN, OR SHOULD HAVE BEEN.Before you can truly LIVE today, a part of you has to die first.You have to let go and bury what could have been, how youshould have responded and what you wish you would have donedifferently. You have to accept that you cant change a pastexperience, opinions of others at that moment in time, oroutcomes from their choices or yours. When you finally acceptthis truth, then you will finally understand the true meaning offorgiving yourself and others. From this point you will finally bepresent and free.

Go ahead! Let go. Forgive. Be present and free. Today.

AFTERTHOUGHTSIf youre struggling with any of these points, know that you arenot alone. Many of us are right there with you, working hard tofeel better, think more clearly, and live a life free of addiction.This is precisely why Angel and I wrote our book, 1,000 LittleThings Happy Successful People Do Differently. Its filled withshort, concise tips on how to do just that. And believe it or not,Angel and I review a lot of our own material on a regular basistoo, just to center our minds on these positive principles.

The bottom line is that its never too late to take a step in theright direction. Its never too late to break free and become theperson you are capable of being. Addictions of all kinds CAN bebeaten!

YOUR TURNWhich of the addictions above do you sometimes struggle with?



What else would you add to the list? Leave a comment belowand share your thoughts.

About The Author

Marc Chernoffi, a passionate writer, life-hacker and admirer ofthe human spirit, has come up with an amazing list of 9Addictions 90% Of Us Struggle With. If you like this list, makesure you check out Marc And Angel Hack Life and sign up to theiramazing newsletter!

Photo by: Tatyveli

JADE SMALLStaff Writer and Social MediaManager for The Open Mind. I am aseeker of knowledge, striving toexpand and help others on theirquests!

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9 Addictions 90% of Us Struggle With