87 Wiining Strategies for Life

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Coaching in

a nutshell

87

Winning

Strategies for aSuccessful Life

by

Sheila Holt



Introduction

Are you living your ideal life? Do you

have the things you desire? Is your life

totally successful and fulfilled in every

context? If the answer is NO and you

want to change that, then follow someof the ideas in this tips booklet and

notice how they enhance your life.

The strategies, tips and techniques inthis booklet will benefit you in the

following ways:

You will be able to learn things faster.

You will have more time in your life.

You will be more positive and take

more action.You will have a plan to reach your

dreams and goals.

You will be more persuasive.

Use one or two of these ideas at a time

and gradually integrate them into your

daily life. Then re-read this booklet

and introduce more of these ideas, tips

and techniques into your life.

© Sheila Holt 2001



Positive assumptions to live by

An assumption is the acceptance of

something without proof. Some people

choose to live life with a set of negative

assumptions, which hinder and hold

them back. Here are ten positiveassumptions to live your life by. Act as

if they are true and notice the

difference they make, to your life and to

the lives of others around you.

1. The meaning of yourcommunication is the response you

get. In other words it’s up to you to

get others to understand your

message. You have to take

responsibility for your communication.

2. Every human being has their ownunique way of understanding and

interpreting the world. We all thinkdifferently, even identical twins!

No one else will ever think exactly

the same as you!



3. There is no such thing as failure –

only feedback. Information youreceive about something you did is

simply feedback. It’s about your

actions and has nothing to do with

you personally. You can use

feedback to improve and developyourself. Once the learning has

been taken, leave the event in the

past and use the feedback to

improve the way you do it next

time.

4. If you always do what you alwaysdid, you’ll always get what you

always got. So if you keep doing

the same thing in the same way and

expect a different result it’ll neverhappen! You need to change what

you’re doing to get a different

result.

5. We cannot not communicate. Aslong as you are awake you are

communicating things about

yourself without using words

simply by the way you stand or sit

or even breathe. It’s impossible to

have no communication in yourwaking hours.



6. You have within you all the

resources to achieve what youwant. Most of us can do most things

we want. Sometimes we just need

to be reminded of how to do them.

7. Behind every behaviour there isalways a positive intention. Whatever a person’s behaviour may

be, they have a positive purpose for

behaving in that way.

8. You create your own reality. Thereis no “universal” reality. Whatever

reality is to you may not be reality

to someone else.

9. Energy flows where attention goes. Whatever you put energy into

thinking about, you will get. So

think about the things you want

rather than the things you don’t

want.

10. The people who are most flexiblehave the highest possibility of

achieving the results they want. Be

as flexible as you can in order to get

the results you desire. That meanshaving patience and a willingness to

change time after time.



Learn anything faster, easier,

better

The more you use your brain, the more

connections grow between each brain

cell. The more connections there are

the greater your thought potential is. New experiences expand your brain so

that it gets better with use – at any age!

11. Your brain has two sides, the left

and right, which shuttle messagesacross to each other. To accelerate

learning use both sides of your

brain at once with words and music;

words and pictures; big picture and

step by step detail.

12. You literally do have 2 minds! The

conscious and the unconscious.

Your conscious mind can hold 7

(plus or minus) 2 pieces of

information at any one second,whilst the unconscious can hold 2

million pieces of information at any

one second. Use your unconscious

mind to learn everything by

allowing new information to “float”in unnoticed.



13. Feed your brain. It needs energy

and lives on oxygen, glucose andother trace elements. If you want

your brain to perform well, feed it

well and take physical exercise

regularly to oxygenate your blood.

14. You have 4 different brain waves:

Beta = wide-awake. Alpha =

relaxed alertness. Theta = twilight

zone between awake and asleep.

Delta = deep sleep.

Alpha is the ideal learning state.

Use Baroque music which is

classical music from the 17th – 18th

centuries. Play it quietly and it will

induce Alpha brain waves ideal for

rapidly improving learning.

15. Use all 5 senses to learn – sight,

sound, taste, smell and touch. You

will have a preference to learn with

one of your senses more than theothers. To accelerate your

performance engage all your senses.

So, for example, by listening to

tapes, doing activities and watching

a video on the same topic you will

engage your 3 main senses in

learning the new information.



16. Visualise and have mental

rehearsals of what you wish tolearn. Perfect visualisation makes

for perfect results. Visualise over

and over again.

17. Support your visualisation with positive affirmations about you as a

successful learner. Repeating an

affirmation to yourself internally or

out loud for mental strength is like

doing push ups for physical

strength.

18. How well you learn depends on the

‘state’ you are in at the time. A

state is the sum of your thoughts,

feelings, emotions, mental and physical energy. Ask yourself what

states enable you to learn fast and

effectively, quickly and easily. Put

yourself in a great state before you

start to learn, by doing somethingyou really enjoy doing.

19. Use peripheral vision to read and

make notes as you are learning.

The way to do this is, instead of

bringing individual words into

sharp focus, soften your eyes and,

therefore, your sight so that your

peripheral vision expands and the

whole printed page comes into view

at once



20. Review your learning just as you

fall asleep at night. Yourunconscious mind will more easily

process and store the new

information ready for fast, effective

recall.

Planning the time to plan

There is no such thing as a perfect time

management system, but there is a timemanagement system that is perfect for

you!

Weave one or two of the following

ideas into each day and remember it

takes 21 days to develop a new idea

into a habit.

21. Start each day with 30 minutes of

thinking time to focus on the most

important goals for the day. Write

them down.

22. Think with a dictaphone by your

side or a pen in your hand.

23. Ask yourself “what am I doing right

now that doesn’t need to be done by

me?” Then stop doing it.

24. Master your delegation skills and

manage the people you delegate to.



25. Learn to say ‘no’ when a request is

not vital and say ‘no’ often. Setsome boundaries.

26. Hire a personal assistant to take

care of personal projects or errands

that need to be done during yourworking time.

27. Undertake your most important

projects/tasks at the time in the day

when you have highest energy.

28. Set a deadline for every task and

keep to that deadline.

29. When working on a large project or

task start with the big steps first anduse this momentum to complete the

smaller steps.

30. Go to bed early and wake up early,

seven days a week, because your body loves a consistent schedule.

31. Your mind and body are part of the

same human system. Establish a

regular exercise programme as a

healthy body makes for a healthy

mind and increases time

efficiencies.



32. Simplify everything in your life.

Give up at least one goal, role or project that isn’t working for you.

That will create time and space for

you to be successful.

Putting off procrastination

Procrastination is an insidious little

beast that scampers around in life,

undermining purpose and passion and planting seeds of self-sabotage as it

goes.

Here are five reasons WHY we

procrastinate and five tips for HOW to

get on and take action.

33. Paralysis. “I don’t know where to

start. I’ll think about that

tomorrow.” Pick small pieces of

the overall project, complete each,and give yourself congratulations

along the way.

34. Perfectionism. “If I can’t do it

perfectly I won’t do it at all! You

are never going to be perfect

because you’re human. When

we’re imperfect it shows there’s

room for growth.



35. Perceptual Problems. “I’ve got

plenty of time. It isn’t even dueuntil…(next month).” Work

backwards, create a time chart with

your outcome at the top. Add a

deadline to each step, and start

climbing.

36. Permission. “But I don’t f-e-e-l like

it.” Dedicate a period every day to

being a grown up, willing to do

what it takes to get what YOU

really want.

37. Peculiar Priorities “I’ll plan that

trip / do my personal finances right

after…(whatever) ” You’re

expending more energy on avoidingthe task than it would take to

complete it. So just do it.

Setting great goals

People who reach high levels of

achievement have been shown to have

very clearly written down their own

goals at a fairly early age. There are

some specific keys to setting goals,

which become irresistible for the

individual setting them.

38. State your goal in the positive.

What specifically do you want toachieve?



39. Be specific, in detail, about your

current situation. Where are younow in relation to your goal?

40. Set the context of your goal.

Where, when and with whom do

you want it?41. What is your evidence for having

reached your goal? How will you

know when you have got what you

want? What will you be seeing,

hearing and feeling?

42. Make sure your goal is initiated by

you. In other words check that you

do not have to rely on anybody else,

or expect anybody else, to change

for you!

43. Check your goal is worthwhile.

Does your goal represent who you

are and who you want to be?

44. Is your goal in keeping with the

environment in which you live and

operate? What will happen if you

get it? What won’t happen if you

get it? What will happen if you

don’t get it? What won’t happen if

you don’t get it?

45. What resources do you need –

physical, emotional, financial and

people resources? List these.



46. What is the first step you have to

take now to achieve your goal?

47. Remember to check through your

goal to make sure it’s SMART.

Specific and simple. Measurable

and meaningful to you. Achievablein all areas of your life. Realistic

and responsible. Timed and

towards what you want.

Ways to get most people to do

most things

In life we often want to influence others

to do things for us. Below are some

tips on how to do that easily and

effortlessly, fast and effectively.

48. Use “Yes” tag phrases in your

conversations, preferably at the end

of a question. For example, “Youare having a good time aren’t you?”

49. Phrase your questions so that 3

“Yes” answers are given

consecutively. This will keep theother person in your conversation in

a positive “Yes” state of mind.

50. When you want someone to answer

yes, then nod your head as you ask

them a question.



51. Use the same visual, auditory or

kinesthetic words as the person youare speaking to. A visual person

will use words like see, eye, look.

An auditory person will use words

like hear, sound, talk. A kinesthetic

person will use words such as gut,feel, touch.

52. Keep the same pace and follow

others speed of speech. If they

speak slowly, then you speak

slowly. If they speak at a moderate

speed then you speak at a moderate

speed. If they speak fast then you

speak fast. Pace and follow the

conversation speed of others.

53. Watch the direction of a persons

eye movements to understand if

they are thinking in pictures

(visual), sounds (auditory), or

feelings (kinesthetic).Their eyes will go up if they are

visual, will be level with the top of

their ears if they are auditory and

move down to the floor, often to

their right, if they are kinesthetic.



54. When you are doing the talking,

from time to time slow your speechright down, really …… really ……

slow …… down … and then just

add the phrase “that’s right.” Then

continue speaking at your normal

speed again. What you’ve just doneis to speak to the unconscious mind

of the other person.

55. Walk at the same speed and in the

same way as the other person.

When sitting make the same

gestures as that person. Allow a 30

second time lag between their

gestures and movements and your

gestures.

56. Listen carefully to the emphasis on

particular words by another person.

Use the same emphasis on the same

words when responding.

57. Always speak positively, saying

what you do want. The mind is

unable to process a negative

command. If you tell someone not

to think of a red rabbit, what’s the

first thing that springs to mind?

Yes, a red rabbit! The reason for

this is that you have to think of a

red rabbit in order not to think

about it. By then it’s too late!



Success is a matter of mind!

There are even more things in life that

we can do to get great results and all of

them are connected with the way you

think. The way you think affects

everything else in your life.

58. Reasons or results. You can only

choose one of these words. Either

reasons or results. If you choose

reasons (in other words excuses)then that’s ultimately what you’ll

have. So choose results each time,

every time. This will mean giving

up all your excuses – including the

best one of all which is “I don’t

know what I want!”

59. Live your life on purpose by

knowing what you want. Many

people live life by accident with

neither direction nor focus. Knowyour purpose and pursue it

relentlessly. You will get it!



60. Live your life at cause. Give up

being at effect. “You make me feelreally angry” is a blame statement.

To believe someone else is

responsible for your emotional state

is to give power to others and put

you at effect of other people andtheir thoughts, actions, reactions

and beliefs. To be at cause in your

life means taking responsibility for

yourself and choosing the way you

respond.

6611.. Develop flexibility of mind. Mind

and body are connected and what

affects one, affects the other. To

become mentally flexible change

the way you sit or stand. Wear yourwatch on the other wrist. Put the

opposite shoe on first.

62. Always take action. Action beats

inaction every time. Your growthand development is in doing. If you

are doing the wrong things then

change what you are doing.



6633.. The law of least effort includes two

components to help you do less andaccomplish more. Acceptance and

defencelessness. Accept people,

situations, circumstances and events

as they are. You may not like them

but accept them.

Relinquish theneed to defend your point of view.

It is only your point of view, your

opinion, and everybody has one.

64. Know that everything we create

begins first with a thought. A house

is built from an architects plans

which started life as thoughts and

imagination. Create your life the

way you want it to be by first

thinking of it the way you want it to be.

65. Start with the end in mind. Think

of the end result and scale it down

into smaller bite-sized chunks.Knowing exactly what you want

you can then go and look for it.

66. Notice your response to situations

and people. Take a moment to

think and then choose your

response rather than immediately

having an emotional reaction.



67. Find someone who has done what

you want to do. Ask them for tips,tricks of the trade. Ask them how

they did it and what their thought

processes were when they were

doing it.

Paradoxes of life

A paradox is a seemingly contradictory

statement and life is full of these statements!. Take notice of these

paradoxes and think about how you are

living your life at the moment.

68. If you want something badly

enough, then let it go; set it free. Itwill always come back to you in

some way, shape or form.

69. In order to gain control, you have to

give up control. Gaining control onthe inside means giving up control

on the outside, over people, tasks,

circumstances, events.

70. The more selfish we become, the

more we can afford to be generous

to others.

71. The more you focus on money, the

less of it you are likely to have!

Follow your passion and the moneywill be close behind.



72. If you want to meet your ideal

partner (in business or in life) stoplooking for him or her!

73. You’ve got to believe you can do it

before you prove you can, and

you’ve got to prove you can do it inorder to change your belief that you

can.

74. We satisfy our own needs best

when we satisfy others needs first.

Through helping others get want

they want, we also get what we

want.

75. The more we listen to others the

more we get listened to by others.

76. In business and in life, word of

mouth marketing is the world’s best

way to network, and yet it is the

best known marketing secret.Everyone knows how important

word of mouth is but we are far less

clear on how to ‘spread the word’.

77. Less really is more! The less we

strive for things the more easily

they come. For example: if we

have less diversity we have more

depth. If we have less stress, we

can have more fun.



Coaching for a successful life

You are your best advert. However

great your life is – hire a coach and

have an annual check up. The

following tips tell you how to make

great use of a coach.

78. Be open minded and willing to

explore new ways of thinking and

doing things. Experiment and

“mentally” try things on for size.

79. Be prepared to be truthful with

yourself about yourself. In order to

have an honest, truthful, open

relationship with your coach you

must first have one with yourself.

80. Be open to learning from feedback.

Whatever results you get, take the

lessons from those results and be

prepared to use them to propel youforward.

81. Have a willingness to take

responsibility for your life, your

actions, your emotions. Your

emotions are nobody else’s fault!

You own them. So the quicker you

own up to them, the quicker you

can take responsibility for your

happiness.



82. Attitude counts. Let go of

analysing why you do this, andwhat happens with that. Just give

yourself permission to give up all

the things that are limiting you.

83. Stay with the coaching processrather than jumping ahead or

second guessing what your coach is

doing and the reason for it. Second

guessing is a great way of avoiding

sensitive issues!

84. Develop a mind set which allows

you to be challenged by your coach.

85. Listen with all of your being to

what is being asked, suggested orendorsed by your coach, rather than

what you think is being said. The

essential key to any great

relationship is listening – after all

that is what you’re paying for! To be listened to and to listen.

86. Be non-judgemental. Your coach

makes no value judgements about

you, has no opinions about what is

right and wrong in your life.

Extend the same courtesy and

explore everything on offer. Then

you can make choices instead of

judgements.



87. Commit to your growth and

development. No one can make you develop, it’s in your hands to

have a great life.



10 Tips to Promote YOUR Business with

this Booklet!(It can even be cus tom ised for yo u.)

1. Send a copy of this booklet to yourclients at Christmas, thanking them fortheir business.

2. Use this booklet as a “thank you” for asales appointment.

3. Mail this booklet to your prospect list tostay in touch with them.

4. Offer this booklet free with anypurchase during a specific time, with acertain purchase amount, or when

opening a new account.5. Distribute this booklet to prospects at a

trade show, presentation or seminar.6. Give this booklet as an incentive for

completing a questionnaire or survey.7. Include this booklet as a “thank you”

gift when mailing your invoices.8. Package this booklet as a value-addedbonus with a product you sell.

9. Give a copy of this booklet free to thefirst “X” number of customers that buya certain product or service from you.

10. Provide copies of this booklet to people

and organisations who can referbusiness to you.

What are you wait ing for?

q Do you want a quotation for multiple

orders of this booklet and associateddiscounts?

q Interested in having this booklet overprinted with your company logo?

Call: You & I Coaching & Development

0870 330 0510



Sheila Holt is founder of You & I

Coaching & Development. Sheilaworks as a business and life coach, she

is also a published author and speaker.

For more information about how

coaching can enhance your life please

call or contact:

Sheila Holt

You & I Coaching & Development

The Coach House, 20 Windy Arbour,

Kenilworth, Warwickshire, CV8 2AS

ENGLAND

Tel: + 44 (0) 870 330 0510

Email Sheila @YouandICoaching.com

www.YouandICoaching.com

Copyright © 2001 Sheila Holt

You & I Coaching & Development. All rights reserved.This booklet or parts thereof, may notbe produced in any form withoutpermission. Exceptions are made forbrief excerpts in published reviews.

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87 Wiining Strategies for Life