8 Things You Didn’t Know You Could Do With Human Sperm

Sperm are single-purposed: They're optimized to get to an egg and

inseminate it. But that doesn't mean there isn't more to this cell than

meets the ovum. Sperm, along with its travelling companion, semen, are

surprisingly versatile and adaptable substances. Here are eight

unconventional things you can do with human sperm.

1. Skin softener

Sperm contains an anti-oxidant called spermine

(http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16107320) that is thought to

diminish wrinkles, smooth the skin, and help with acne. Looking to take

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Eight things you didnt know you could do with human sperm http://io9.com/5938114/eight-things-you-didnt-know-you-could-do-with...

1 of 12 12/6/2013 8:47 PM

advantage of these much sought after attributes, a Norwegian company

called Bioforskning (you can't make this stuff up) has synthesized the

compound and is selling it as a facial cream (http://nymag.com

/news/intelligencer/56941/). These, uh, spermine facials

(http://www.cosmopolitan.com/hairstyles-beauty/beauty-

blog/spermine-facials) cost $250 and can be ordered through Townhouse

Spa (http://nymag.com/listings/beauty/townhouse-spa/), or for $125

Graceful Services (http://nymag.com/listings/beauty

/graceful_services/).

2. Cooking

Those looking to take their culinary skills to the next level should check

out a book by Fotie Photenhauer called Natural Harvest

(http://www.lulu.com/shop/fotie-photenhauer/natural-harvest-

a-collection-of-semen-based-recipes/paperback/product-

20052760.html), a collection of semen-based recipes. The book

description:

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2 of 12 12/6/2013 8:47 PM

Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful

texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and

cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is

inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if

not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive

qualities, semen remains neglected as a food.

This book hopes to change that.

Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be

surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen.

Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you

make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and

are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients - you will

love this cook book!

3. Painting

Artist Martin Von Ostrowski (http://www.martinvonostrowski.de/) is

known for using bodily fluids as his paint mediums (including his

infamous portrait of Hitler made from his own excrement). Back in 2008,

Von Ostrowski put out an exhibition (http://www.thelocal.de/society

/20081223-16325.html) at the Gay Museum in Berlin in which he

featured works painted with his own semen. A single painting requires

about 40 ejaculations, which, given the size of the exhibition, suggests

that he needed to ejaculate at least 1,000 times. Impressive! Von

Ostrowski is able to keep these large quantities of sperm fresh by freezing

it.

4. Invisible ink

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3 of 12 12/6/2013 8:47 PM

Back during World War I, the British Secret Intelligence Service (MI6)

discovered that semen could act as an effective invisible ink

(http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/8015180/MI6-used-bodily-

fluids-as-invisible-ink.html). In June 1915, Walter Kirke, deputy head of

military intelligence in France, wrote in his diary that chief Mansfield

Cumming (yes), was "making enquiries for invisible inks at the London

University." Rumor at the time had it that semen worked particularly

well, and follow-up studies showed that it did not react to the usual

methods of detection (including iodine vapor). It was also readily

available for any intrepid secret service agent willing to make the

sacrifice. The practice went into use, but it was noted that on at least one

occasion that an agent had to be reminded to use only fresh supplies of

the "ink" when people started noticing an unusual smell.

5. An anti-Depressant for women

Another potential application for semen is its use as an anti-depressant.

This idea is quite controversial but there is a modicum of scientific

evidence to support it. A study done back in 2002

(http://www.springerlink.com/content/wrkl9lc5ueu43rh8/?MUD=MP)

showed that women who were directly exposed to semen were less

depressed. The researchers concluded that this was on account of

mood-altering hormones in the semen being absorbed through the vagina

and that they had ruled out other explanations (New Scientist didn't

entirely agree proposing a number of their own

(http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn2457-semen-acts-as-

an-antidepressant.html)). That said, as Jesse Bering has pointed out

(http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/bering-in-mind/2010/09/22/an-

ode-to-the-many-evolved-virtues-of-human-semen/), "there's good in

this goo":

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4 of 12 12/6/2013 8:47 PM

In fact, semen has a very complicated chemical profile,

containing over 50 different compounds (including

hormones, neurotransmitters, endorphins and

immunosupressants) each with a special function and

occurring in different concentrations within the seminal

plasma. Perhaps the most striking of these compounds is the

bundle of mood-enhancing chemicals in semen...Such

anxiolytic chemicals include, but are by no means limited to,

cortisol (known to increase affection), estrone (which elevates

mood), prolactin (a natural antidepressant), oxytocin (also

elevates mood), thyrotropin-releasing hormone (another

antidepressant), melatonin (a sleep-inducing agent) and even

serotonin (perhaps the most well-known antidepressant

neurotransmitter).

6. Ovulation control

A recent study (http://www.pnas.org/content/early/2012/08

/15/1206273109.abstract?sid=2e631d6c-b053-4f5b-

8540-3d6d4babab89) at the University of Saskatchewan has discovered

that a protein in semen acts on the female brain to prompt ovulation

and that it's the same molecule that regulates the growth, maintenance,

and survival of nerve cells. As a result, it's very possible that semen acts

as a hormonal signal, working through the hypothalamus of the female

brain and the pituitary gland. This in turn triggers the release of other

hormones that signal the ovaries to release an egg.

7. Help with morning sickness

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5 of 12 12/6/2013 8:47 PM

Okay, this is probably the last thing a woman is thinking about when

she's suffering through morning sickness, but psychologist Gordon

Gallup at SUNY-Albany, a male member of the human species who

specializes in human reproductive competition and behavior, is

suggesting that oral sex could serve as a kind of cure. Gordon theorizes

that expectant women become ill and vomit because their bodies are

rejecting the sperm's genetic material as something foreign and

unfamiliar (http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/science

/2012/07/morning_sickness_can_more_sex_help_.3.html). His idea,

which was presented at 2012 Northeastern Evolutionary Psychology

Society (http://neepsociety.com/facebook/), suggests that women can

build up their immunity by ingesting the sperm of the baby's father.

Gallup's conclusion is a bit hard to swallow, but there's also a scientific

study (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10706945) supporting the

idea that oral sex can reduce the incidence of preeclampsia in pregnant

women.

8. Archival storage of information

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6 of 12 12/6/2013 8:47 PM

In what gives new meaning to the

term "hard drive", human sperm

a transmitter of DNA could

be used to store information a

lot of information. We recently

reported (http://io9.com

/5935415/why-dna-is-the-future-

of-data-storage) on a

breakthrough by Sriram Kosui

and his team at Harvard and

Johns Hopkins in which he

devised a technique for archiving

information in DNA. The process,

which takes advantage of DNA's

data sequencing attributes, could

be used to store as much as one

petabyte of data (one petabyte =

1,024 terabytes) in a volume of 1.5

mg of DNA. Because genetic

information can be packaged in three dimensions, that equates to a

storage volume of about one cubic millimeter so you'll finally have a

secure and ironic place to store your massive digital porn collection.

Image credits: Josh Resnick/Shutterstock.com

(http://Shutterstock.com), Here (http://www.worldsstrangest.com

/mental-floss/8-artists-who-poured-their-heart-and-soul-into-their-

work-also-their-blood-and-urine/), here (http://www.dailystab.com

/mike-myers-signs-on-for-austin-powers-4/), here

(http://www.sanger.ac.uk/about/press/2007/071202.html), here

(http://b4tea.blogspot.ca/2011/12/best-ways-to-cope-with-morning-

sickness.html).

Think the

memory card in

your camera is

high-capacity? It's got nothing on

DNA. With data accumulating at a

faster rate now than any other point

Read (http://io9.com/5935415

/why-dna-is-the-future-of-data-

storage)

(http://io9.com

/5935415

/why-dna-

is-the-

future-

of-data-

storage)

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Like 7.7k


7 of 12 12/6/2013 8:47 PM

This misogynistic post was

written by a man. A little quip

about using SEMEN (not sperm,

stupid) as a face cream might

have passed. But, antidepressant?

There is NO valid science here.

This is a disgusting waste of

internet space. I find it offensive.

In the current political climate

where women's rights and

viewpoints are being reviled by

the GOP as irrelevant and

inconsequential, this is in very,

very poor taste. Badly done, IO9.

Badly

done

.

How would you define "valid

science" other than published in a

peer reviewed journal

(http://www.springerlink.com

/content/wrkl9lc5ueu43rh8

/?MUD=MP)? It may or may not

ultimately turn out to be correct,

but there doesn't seem to be

anything wrong with the science.

Plus, I do hope you can see the

irony in "This misogynistic post

was written by a

man.

"

George, you gave image credits

for all except the last image of

DNA... which is the most

interesting; provenance

appreciated... unless, it is Josh

Resnick's image, in which case I

would like to know how to see

more than a

thumbnail

.

Going to the linked article in the

related section, it looks like it is

from

Shutterstock

.

brilliant.

thanks

.

Oh, please. There is no,

"modicum of scientific evidence

to support" the idea that sperm

has any affect on depression in

women. This sad, pathetic,

misogynistic little theory is like

the "blue balls" plea that boys

used to use in high school. I can't

believe you're actually posting

this crap. Too bad more men

aren't limber enough to

self-fellate. That would solve a lot

of

problems

.

actually...

http://www.popsci.com/science

/article/2011-05/controversial-

ideas-semen-natures-

antidepressant

http://www.lmgtfy.com

/?q=sperm+antidepressan

t

Phoning Hollywood studios

pitching story of Brave British

intelligence officers proudly

wanking for freedom as soon as I

settle on appropriate title. Maybe

Thunderballs

?

How about "A Few Good

Wankers?

"

Solve problems? Productivity

would grind to a

halt

!

What no suggestion to use sperm

as hair

ge

l

Ha! Forgot about

that...

.

Forward to every woman in the

world

.

I am so getting that cook book as

a gag gift for someone, I just hope

I never have the pleasure of

trying anything of the

recipes

.

Don't accept any dinner

invitations after giving them the

book as a

gift

.

This was written by a man, hmm,

how

convenient..

.

Good for you! Hopefully you can

move on to a new girlfriend who

would not need this article to

begin

with..

.

io9 cannot be held responsible for

any ill-advised forwarding of this

article

:-

)

Speaking as a manufacturer of

this stuff, here are my reactions:

1) This must be staggeringly

expensive if human semen is

involved. The average guy barely

produces more than a few

teaspoons of the stuff in an

ejaculation. And, like many

cosmetics, there is almost no

evidence that any of it does

anything.

2) The stuff tastes like salty snot!

What, too much information?

Let's be honest here. If it tasted

like ketchup, wasabi, chocolate

syrup or something, maybe we'd

have something. Semen sucks as

a condiment. And again, it must

be pretty damn expensive or time

consuming to get enough to cook

on a industrial scale.

3) This only hammers home how

hard it is to get enough of this

stuff. That and the artist is an

eccentric.

4) Holy ned. I guess this just

emphasizes what a desperate

time the Second World War was.

5) This research is still far from

conclusive, if true at all. Frankly

I'm very skeptical.

And if it's down to one chemical

in semen having a mood leveling

property in the insanely complex

neurochemistry of women (And

Not that I'll be ordering semen

burgers anytime soon, and seeing

as I cook 98% of all meals in our

households, it's not likely to

become a regular thing in our

diet

.

(/)

Would you care for some ... on

your fries

sir/madam

?

Such a scary article topic for a

commenting system that allows

anonymous posting. But i shall

not be dissuaded and will use this

as another place to post a related

QI

clip

!


8 of 12 12/6/2013 8:47 PM

I do note this quote:

Gallup, however, admitted to

Clark-Flory that evidence of

semen's antidepressant qualities

is "largely correlational,"

And if he's not waving the flag for

causation, who's left to do it?

And is that you haven't met

misogynistic women, or that they

don't write posts? I haven't spent

much time on Jez, but I bumped

into more than one such author

there

.

let's not forget guys, that our

neurochemistry is just as insanely

complex.), pharmaceutical plants

can manufacture that chemical in

vast quantities much more

efficiently. My skepticism stem

from how hugely indirect all this

stuff is.

6) This is all kind of obvious

actually. No surprises or

comments here. Although the

science in the actual mechanisms

behind this is probably very

interesting.

7) See number five. This stuff is

still far from conclusive. I remain

skeptical.

8) This is not remarkable and

hardly confined to spermatozoa.

Pretty much any cell can be used

to store huge amount of

information in its

DNA

.

Why would you need huge

quantities of it? Maybe you could

see it as more of a vitamin pill

than anything else. You don't eat

huge quantities of vitamin pills

every day do you?

Taste is highly subjective so that's

a poor argument.

Also why would you trust

pharmaceutical plants more than

a natural substance? A lot of

nutrition like dairy products for

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9 of 12 12/6/2013 8:47 PM

example are about all the

multitude of different compounds

being in balance with each other,

vitamins, minerals, fatty acids,

proteins, sugars, enzymes etc, in

order for assimilation and benifit

to take place.

I'm not saying this is something

everyone should look into, and I

would probably not drink it

myself being a male, but you need

to think outside the box

sometimes, not just reinforce old

taboos

.

"Why would you need huge

quantities of it?"

This question assumes a couple of

things that are by no means

conclusively proven:

1) I am highly skeptical that

human sperm has any beneficial

cosmetic effects. Show me a few

huge sample size, double blind

FDA studies, and maybe, maybe,

I'll change my mind.

2) If there is a beneficial effect,

we don't have any idea at all how

much will be needed. You say it

might be small but this is no

more certain than my saying that

it might need huge quantities.

"You don't eat huge quantities of

vitamin pills every day do you?"

See point two above. We have no

idea how much is needed to have

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10 of 12 12/6/2013 8:47 PM

any effect, never mind that we

have no idea it has any effect at

all.

"Also why would you trust

pharmaceutical plants more

than a natural substance?"

Because chemically there is

absolutely no difference. Cow's

milk made by gene-tweaked

bacteria is identical to milk

straight from a cows udder.

"Taste is highly subjective so

that's a poor argument."

Well, going by stuff I've

frequently read in Dan Savage's

column, the general opinion by

men and women, is that human

semen really isn't the most

pleasant tasting stuff there is on

this planet. And having tasted

some of my ownWhat? Too

much information again?salty

snot seems pretty accurate.

But hey, yeah, there are actually

people who like anchovies on

pizzano accounting for taste, I'll

give you that one.

Anyway, the cosmetics industry is

rife with bullshit claims

concerning medicinal benefits. If

these were really true, many

cosmetics would be regulated

entirely differently than many

currently

are

.

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8 Things You Didn’t Know You Could Do With Human Sperm