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The 8 Habits of Emotionally Amazing Living Out of Stress, Depressed or Personal Sadness, to Embracing the Unknown For Yourself & Others

8 Habits of Emotionally Amazing Living, excerpt

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Page 1: 8 Habits of Emotionally Amazing Living, excerpt

The 8 Habits of Emotionally Amazing Living

– Out of Stress, Depressed or Personal Sadness, to Embracing the Unknown For Yourself & Others

Page 2: 8 Habits of Emotionally Amazing Living, excerpt

© 2014 Simon Hästö All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying,

recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

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You do NOT have to read through this book, or even anywhere near, to get a lot of value out of it; so have no worries. You’ll likely get value out of every word, as others have). Introduction This book is written 100% to help someone like you. Whoever you are, at whatever stage you find yourself, I believe as long as you’re someone who has had dreams and visions – even if you haven’t seen, been aware of or reached for them in years – this was written with you in mind. …And, obviously I can’t prove that. But… Whether you feel great and are aiming for amazing, feel ok and want to feel great or feel like crap and want to feel at least okay, I can almost bet that you’ve sometimes felt some of the following… If you’re like me, it was years since you got tired of professional psychologists who hand out advice, to someone in whose shoes they’ve never been, like candy, since you got tired of shrinks who prescribe something that, at a later point, another psychologist seriously questions or just those who, when all you need is their presence,

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comfort and, don’t seem to listen or notice that you’re a human being, with individual history, individual dreams, individual concerns and individual ways of looking at and doing things. I can’t guarantee that I know all psychology theories and methods, but I can guarantee that this book is written for a human being. And, not just to inform – because, if anything, over-information is the problem these days – but to use. And I can guarantee that it’s written by someone who knows where you’ve been (whether that means feeling not-so-great, feeling horrible or feeling really good but urging for amazing). Because I have emotional reference to how you feel – which goes

especially for those who feel really bad, as the strongest feelings create the strongest memories – I have a huge personal interest and emotional investment, in helping you get your emotional baggage out of the way (and I have way bigger plans than just that). If I can help someone not have to go through what I’ve been through, and that person lets me know I did just that, I will probably cry. Honest to fucking god. Me writing this for you, also means: I don’t know how you got to read this book – through a personal conversation with me, Facebook group, a referral or whatever – so I don’t know what you’ve heard, and I don’t know who you are… what I do know, however, is that the simple fact that you’re here probably means you’re a person who, somewhere deep within, has a huge desire to and belief he/she can bring something big into this world. This book isn’t written for, and won’t help, people who have no interest (however faraway they think they are), in doing big things for themselves and others. You may not be in a position where you can act on your desire right now, through; and that’s exactly where this book comes in..!

Why you’re in good hands

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You may be depressed through the bone, at this moment, however… if I, who have been depressed on-and-off for 12+ years – at points so bad I lay apathetic, in bed, for weeks, and often feel so down that I didn’t feel - have managed to become a genuinely awesome person – who cares deeply about people, is incredible at some powerful, important and income-bringing skills and more - there’s no reason you can’t do what you desire.

So, Why Should You Be Reading This Book…? Well, honestly I couldn’t say that with perfect precision. However, I do know a few things… I know that a lot of people – especially in western society – are called depressed, by a doctor, or – and this group I would say is the majority – are, perhaps not meeting every depression-symptom required, but are what anyone else would call depressed. I mean, everyone you see walking around, so dazed, sheep-like and seemingly non-eager to do exciting things, who long since forgot that, a few years prior, their standard life quality lay at the level of their current highs… At every level below exhilarated, deeply present – and their emotional equivalents – we are in relative lack of nuance in life. Because of our emotional reality, in those moments we fail to experience the beauty, power, wonder, enjoyment, achievement, whatever-you-can-come-up-with that is actually there, then and there, around us. It’s there, and we have no idea.

We’ve forgotten that another kind of life exists. We’re in a constant, habitual trance of seeing past it. And those surrounding us may see it, they may experience it, and they may even talk to us about it and demonstrate its existence. …But, because we don’t believe in it – or, rather, because we are currently in an emotional reality where we lack the tools to see it – it’s just not there for us. And whether that is a consequence of lack of x or y chemical I don’t know (and this book is not intended to diagnose or cure any disease).

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That has been my absolute most nightmarish discovery – when “coming back to reality” after being depressed. It doesn’t get much worse than finding out you’ve just spent the last few years dead in all the ways that matter. Maybe you’re agreeing 100% with me, here, or not at all; however, if you’re feeling very roused – like, borderline hateful toward me – I would say that’s a good thing. Why? Because that shows there’s something in you; you have something to protect, something you want to get back to. (What comes below is going to sound very much like I’m trying to sell you on something; the only thing I want to sell you on, at this point, is

taking of your precious time to read this book. If you need no more motivation to start reading, scroll down where the text gets a lot smaller, where the book begins, and start reading!). Let’s do this – let’s arm you with the kind of methods, mindsets and techniques that are: Tried-and-tested (as you probably know, no single method/technique works forever, or in every situation. …Because of this, in treating my own depression, I naturally, because I had to, I started coming up with as many ways as possible, and that’s how this book was born. Made to hit depression at so many levels, and from so many angles, that there’s always something you can do. Everything in here is built on our fundamental physiological and psychological needs, which makes it very, very powerful. Going to work in pretty much any mood. (you don’t always feel like “thinking deeply” or “being simple”! …So, I made these tools based on many different mental states; when you feel like reading a lot, you have that, and when you just want to do something, you have that.

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Fun, simple and enjoyable; tools ranging from finding out how to finally be yourself around people, to doing enjoyable things to get a better start to your day, using consistency to get long-term results – in whatever you’re doing - and using your body in ways that create energy. Described in “everyday”, friend-to-friend language, so you can understand it without re-reading, deciphering - or any other bullshit no person who was genuinely out to help you would ever subject you to – There for you to begin implementing immediately (one of the reasons

I wrote this guide, is because I’m tired of people, in real life and books, who just can’t get down to explaining the benefits, of their endless theory, and – more importantly – how to actually implement their so called brilliant ideas)

You shouldn’t, if a bad word here and there overshadow the impact of the help in this book; the helping hand, you can use - for life - whenever you’re feeling down. I want you to “send back” this book if you don’t really care about people, or their ambitions or the realizations of their dreams, or these things in yourself. You should also ask for your money back if you’re reading one of the earlier versions, find yourself constantly thinking “goddamn, this is an ugly book – couldn’t he just get

someone to help polish it…?” – because that shows your emotional reality is, at least right now, not important enough for you to spend any money or time reading this book. You should also not read this if you don’t really care about being honest to other people and yourself (because reading this will require honesty).

So, How Is This Book Written? This book is written to be as digestible and easily gone through as I

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could make it (it’s proof for anyone; however bad attention span they have or if they dislike reading; and I will explain why in just a sec). The book is constructed to, first, prepare you for reading it, then focuses on looking at what you actually have at your disposal (in terms of potential to feel better), and poses very good arguments for anyone’s potential to feel better. Then, we focus a bit on giving you an insight into your own thinking and perspective on how you feel and that whole thing. Then, it’s time to start taking a bit of action and dreaming bigger. After that, I go into specific tools you can use; like using your body/sense, in different ways, to beat and prevent depression and more.

How Is It Read? With the above being the case, I really think you can go through it start-to-finish. I also highly, highly recommend you do that; as, if you don’t, you might simply be unable to use what could be a crazy-effective technique simply because you lack perspective; which the initial many pages of the book give you ample amounts of). However – definitely don’t read it through in one sitting. …It’s really dense, and one or two of the perspectives I share might leave your head spinning (and, to get the most out of that – and the stuff you read afterwards – you should give yourself a rest at that point). Which of the techniques do you use? How many? When? Why? Use your common sense. If something works, use it. If it doesn’t work, don’t use it. You’ll find that one thing works one occasion, and another at another occasion, depending on your mood. You’ll find that things stop working. Don’t stress it – just move around the different techniques, methods and mindsets, to attack the issue from any angle needed at the time.

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If you have the triple-punch down – that of perspective, belief and action – you may only ever need a few techniques from this book; because your perspective has informed you that you can do something, so you have the belief and can then just take and keep taking action.

How to navigate this weapon of massive depression-

destruction

You will find the book is split in a few books-in-the-book; these are "Get

Perspective", "Know your potential", "Look inside to learn", "Act like

depression never held you back", "Embody what you want", "Use your

senses", "Empathy" and “Honesty”. You will also find, that these are in

huge font - so you can easily scroll your way to them.

Navigating via Color-coding

You will find that, different things have different colors here... There is

"Point to take from here" (which is the point to take with you from that

section), you have "Task" - which is the little action I want you to do,

which makes that empowering thing I just said part of your worldview

or get that technique into your muscle memory (for later access).

And you will find sentences in green (this color), in the full version, that

I – for some reason – have chosen to call “golden sentences”, which are

the most profound things said in the book. You will find these,

profound sentences, also at the end of the book where you will also

find all the "point to take from here" just beneath.

Navigating via the search function

When you've found an action - which you find by searching "Action" -

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which you think would really work for you, but feel a lack of belief in yourself, you simply search "Perspective" (or, check what "Mindblast" gives you, if you need a real jolt to the brain). Maybe you'd need to change your mindset a bit, to kill it with that specific action; and, if you do, you just type in "Mindset" in the search box.

Carrying Out The Tasks In The Book

However: while I do know how effective tasks are (or I wouldn’t have included them), I know how being asked to do things can feel, so you’ll find I’m not asking for a lot, and – more importantly – I give you the chance to just let what I’ve said simmer in your mind for the coming days (which is super-effective) rather than frantically trying to “carry out a task” (which becomes impossible whilst in survival-mode; been there done that and will not subject you to that).

How to know if the book is doing/has done what it’s supposed to do If you, after reading this book, are more awake, feel more in charge, are more able to think freely, go after what you want and feel more deserving of love, then everything else is inconsequential. I don’t care whether you thought the book was well-written – and neither should

you. It’s not meant to be a masterpiece in any other way than in its effect on your emotional life and reality. It’s meant to be abrupt, to make no sense (to the logical mind; which can awaken the emotional mind), be weird, be provocative (in the right way). I’m not out to please you or anyone else – I’m out to help you get rid of shit you don’t want.

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Table of contents

Habit 1: Get Perspective……………………..…………………….Page 14 Habit 2: Know Your Potential……………………………………Page 19 Habit 3: Look Inside To Learn (in the full version)………….Page 33 Habit 4: Act Like Depression Never Held You Back (in the full version)…..Page 52 Habit 5: Embody What You Want (in the full version)..Page 69 Habit 6: Use Your Senses (in the full version)…………Page 82 Habit 7: Empathy (in the full version)……………….Page 89 Habit 8: Honesty (in the full version)……………..Page 106

(We all appreciate and need different text sizes. Feel free to play

around with the zoom function, until you find the size right for you, but know that that will mess slightly with the directions of the table of contents and so be ready to adjust a page back or forth).

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If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail – Abraham Maslov

First a little trick to make reading this a whole lot more enjoyable & effective

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Simply put on this extremely inspiring, relaxing spotify-playlist: http://open.spotify.com/user/renaisscance/playlist/5Y0a31OUzeJo8rpNcZUwk6

Now, let’s get going!

Habit 1: Get Perspective A Prepared Mind Is A Kickass Mind (Mindset) Openness. Without it, nothing is possible and with it, everything is. Things can be done, because you override preconceived notions of your capability – bullshit you came up with is exposed for what it is or just blown away by your own performance. I will never ever tell you to believe in what I’m saying; but you need to be open to what you’re reading, if you want any change whatsoever (or you’ll just discard it all without trying).

Give it a chance and kick some ass here. Point to take from here: You don’t need to believe in anything but the possibility

Embody The Opposite of Feeling Bad (Perspective) Thinking/saying positive words is as effective, for increased happiness, as stabbing yourself with knives carrying the words “band- aid” on them. Your voice needs to be

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positive (both the mental voice and the one that’s heard). Things need to be said and done make you positive – you can’t say “I’m happy” and expect to be. You need to improve the most important things; your breath needs to be

qualitative (read about this in "Breathe Your Way To Help”), you need to focus in and

activate your body (all the “Using your body” book-section is dedicated to that)

and you need to become sensually aware (which “Senses -Sensei” is dedicated to.

To embody these things... just do whatever works; the result matters and the

method doesn’t. Whatever worked for you – has ever made you relaxed or

activated you – is what works for you so you just do that. Embody the opposite

of the depression.

No matter the potency of what is said, words in this book carry absolute no

meaning, no impact and there’s no point in reading them, if you don’t actually

apply. Words are words, reading is reading – it’s passive. …But words point at

something that can be used, and through reading you understand.

The method is out of the question – it’s irrelevant. I’m never pointing out one

method to be better than another; it’s all in how you implement it.

The point to take from here: Embody and use everything you read about -- as

long as you do that, the method is of no consequence (and, as long as you do

that, you may need only one thing to effectively treat, and prevent, depression)

Practice It (Perspective + Action) Practicing is the only way to do anything. If you can remember this, there’s

nothing saying you won’t need only very few methods, techniques or mindsets

(to switch between) from this book, to treat or prevent your depression.

Theory is dead. You practice, and create theory of what you, through practicing,

found produces results. The world is always going to be way more complex, and

fast-changing, than for any theory to be able to adapt itself to. In fact, theories

don’t adapt: you adapt the theory. So, a theory is what comes after, always.

Even if there was a theory that took every little thing into account, its sheer

extensiveness would make it impossible to put into practice (it would be the

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definition of “impractical”). So… try something, and then go with what reality

“tells” you about your just attempted approach, and adapt accordingly.

If you don't try what I said, there, out for real, you can read/think about it for a

hundred years and still have no idea what it means - because you haven't

gotten the experience of what the above paragraph is pointing at. As I said, I'm

not writing about these particular things because I have read or heard that they

are good. I have used them and found them to work.

The realizations you get, here, if you use them, are way, way, way more

beneficial than any reading could ever give. You can use one method - done with

openness to its potency - over and over, and keep getting more impact than

learning all the rest to perfection but carrying them out lacking belief.

One idea, method or technique might be all you need kill off your depression or

improve your life, right now. One. After that one stops working, you switch to

another one thing. While this is true, and may be for you, you won’t know until

you start practicing – so go ahead and kill it with each one, and you may be off to

a fucking spectacular future.

While it’s pretty hard to say exactly what will happen, if you turn these things

into practice, it’s fucking easy to say the outcome if you don’t.

The world’s best method is, unapplied, as productive as no action

Stronger Emotion = Stronger Memory (Perspective) That’s it. You don’t remember what you didn’t care about. You remember

because it’s worth remembering. But the fact that something is worth

remembering doesn’t mean it’s remembered for us to destroy our lives; but

because there’s learning to be taken from the event.

I’m sure you exaggerate things, find yourself saying things like, “It’s ALWAYS

like this”. In saying that we always fail, we’re disregarding every event that

ever pointed to the opposite. Imagine the impact that’s had on your life so far.

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But there’s power in this knowledge; and you’re going to find out why, and how

to harness it, by reading below.

Point to take from here: Memories say very, very little about our potential. We

don’t think we suck because it's true. Rather, it's because, we had one very

emotional negative event, that - because emotions give memories strength - we

constantly remember and associate our sense of self to.

What You Can't Accept, You’re Stuck In If you’re going to be able to ever do something about x, you need to first have a

look at x, know what is up. How do you have a look at something you say doesn’t

exist.

Admit depression or you’re repressing the existence of what is destroying your

life and won’t stop destroying your life until you admit it.

Thing is, being depressed doesn’t mean anything. Admit that you’re depressed

right now, without saying, thinking or reading in into what will be the case

two seconds after. You are. That’s how it is. …But there’s no accepting that that’s

how things will be in five years, five weeks, five hours or five minutes. That’s

power right there.

I have found that, when you fully accept it, stop fighting the way things

evidently are, it's like a stone drops from your chest. Suddenly, there’s

opportunity. You feel freedom. You know that you're really not depressed

anymore, because you know you can do something about it, because you aren’t

your depression.

Three-way Depression Punch Just wanted to refresh you on this (to make sure you make sure you don’t just

skip around the book). Remember that, nothing is going to work until you think

it can (until you’re simply open). So - regardless of how good something has

worked for anyone else, or could work even for you – if your perspective is one

where change is impossible, your action can lead only to disappointment.

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Young. Old. Just Words – George Burns, at age 84

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Habit 2:

Know Your

Potential You need to know your potential; because it’s just so ridiculously big. I’m even

going to prove it to you (or, give you arguments you have no way to even begin

to doubt; can’t be done). We’ll back up your potential by having a look at

evolution and I’ll throw a few arguments, for your extreme proximity to

awesomeness, that you’ll laugh at because they’re so hard to argue against.

You Are Life (Perspective + Mindblast) Think depression is driving you…? Think you can only await its next move...?

All you’ve been doing, in life – and all your ancestors have done to get you to

this point - is adapt. Adapt to what is going on around. Making things happen,

over and over, and over and over, for millions of years. And, everything not up

to the task has been replaced by things (cells) that can.

In other words: You are action. You can’t really be deeply helpless, since you

equal what makes things happen and every single part of you that isn’t up to the

task is constantly being replaced. You, your genes, are the end-product of

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billions of years of adapting to what is required to live and reproduce in this

world.

Point to take from here: If you weren’t fucking primed for dealing with changes

you wouldn’t be here.

You Can’t See Foresee The Future (Perspective +

Mindblast) Take a look at this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tS9sztfwaN8 - I

want you to pay attention to what he says about the power of small differences.

I'm never going to tell you "this WILL take a month for you to do" about any

exercise, or anything else, in this book. Why? Because I'm too experienced to say

that – things, that for others take only a while, have taken longer for me (and,

things people take long to do, I have been able to do very quickly.) Meaning?

Meaning, you never know how long it takes, so there’s no point in saying

anything about it (…which also means you don ‘t know how long it will be

before you’re taking yourself out of depression using this book as guide).

The results you get depends on how much, and the quality of, action you take. It

depends on your taking action, on learning whatever you could learn from the

action/failure, and then re-engaging in a way where you’re applying what you

learned. That’s it.

...And, what did you see in the video? That you don't know the difference, the

action you’re taking right now, will have for you, (and, you also saw that a great

result can come from a minor difference in approach). Keep in mind, that: when

you're doing horribly, you're still just a millimeter away from complete

success.

As I said, this applies to learning as well. An example, which I will repeat over

and over in this book - as it is the one, I have experienced most illustrative of this

- is my guitar playing. As a guitar player, I went from sucking at it for several

years, barely making any progress and hating the whole thing, and then

changing my approach - read: NOT becoming equipped with guitar genes – and,

after that change of approach, managing to learn blazingly fast.

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And this isn’t different from person to person; a specific action has the

consequences that specific action has. You can trick yourself into believing in

that your genetic disadvantages (which may or may not be true) are a huge

factor, and act accordingly… but your self-sabotaging because of a belief isn’t

the same as being drawn back by actual genetic disadvantage.

By the above logic (which does make a lot of sense, doesn’t it?) You are 1mm

from implementing what's in this book exceptionally well. You are 1mm from

being a world class guitarist even though you've been struggling for years. You

are... at any point, 1mm away from finding that thing that will allow you to beat

anyone at what you do. Is this true? It may not be completely; but, it probably is

to a way higher degree than we believe when depressed.

Point to take from here: You’re 1mm away.

You’re A Lifetime Of Experience (Perspective + Small

Task) You can’t even begin to talk against it. I’m not saying what it means for you - I’m

just saying you have it. You decide what it means. I’m not going to bring

anything, up, here – but I’m sure you will come to some pretty exciting

conclusions when thinking of what you’ve learned so far in life. Task: 1 minute

to think about what a lifetime of experience might mean.

You're never more than 1 circle from the bull's eye

(Perspective +Inspiration+Small Task) See a dart board in front of you. This metaphor can be applied to anything in life,

but let's talk about calming your mind... as far as those efforts go... how much

time would you say you spend in the outer circles, where the mind has power

over you, compared to right in the bull's eye, where you can truly observe the

thoughts and direct them? And answer this truthfully (whether that answer is

80% outer or 80% inner).

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Now, can you imagine that - when you felt most stressed out and lost in

thoughts - you were still very close to the bull's eye of mental calm? That, the

amount of thoughts that came - and strength of stress you felt - had no real

relation to how far you actually were from calm. I mean, if you had been

throwing darts, how much would you have needed to change approach to go

from the circle nearest the bull's eye to hit the bull's eye?

Have you noticed this, in your life; that you've gone from complete

stress/overthinking to complete mental calm in no-time? I think you have. ...And,

if it can happen once can't it happen twice?

Keep this message in the back of your mind, for a few days. Don't isolate it to

"meditation", but see if it's true anywhere; see if you can go from

stress/overthinking to calm - and the other way! - quickly. See if that happens in

your everyday life.

Perspective (Inspiration) Everything following an event comes from how the event was seen. It’s all

about how you look at something. …What is x event in the greater whole…? Is

this the thing to set off your downfall, or is it the start of your journey back to

awesome (because both you and I know you’ve been there)? It’s one of those two,

and which one it is depends on the next action (you can’t foretell the future, so

you can’t know what anything will lead to).

Is thinking negative thoughts going to destroy you? Thoughts have no power;

perception of them does. Does it start something or is it the end; if a start, you

feel hope, and if it’s the end, well… then it’s over – you’re done.

Point to take from here: How you look at something dictates what will happen

afterwards.

Your Future Isn’t Decided (Perspective + Inspiration)

Yep, your current situation is exactly what it is - exactly. 100% ...If it's super-

horrible, your life is super-horrible – yep! ......Right now. Tomorrow can be

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anything. In the coming 7 days, you have a chance to take actions to end up in a

different situation than you were in beforehand. How much different…? Can’t

tell, but if it’s in the right direction isn’t that exciting..? And doesn’t more

improvement come from simply continuing on the same route; the route you’ve

just proven you’re able to take..?

I Know You Feel Unstoppable Sometimes (Inspiration +

Perspective)

I know you have these moments when you see “something else”, in terms of

what you can do – you just have these moments where what seemed to be reality

disappears and you’re struck with how awesome things could be. For you.

Really, genuinely awesome – and not for another person.

It’s obviously not there – because it’s in your mind - but, at the same time, it is so

real you can almost touch it. So, is that real…? Well, if you look back you’ll

probably see that you made things happen that you would’ve never believed

were possible for you (and if it doesn’t seem that way it may be because the

change was gradual; but does it really matter..?)

If, right now, you just can’t imagine having ever felt like that – had those visions

or had them feel that real - I would bet that's because your current state keeps

you from dreaming or thinking positively (I write more about how our mood

makes only certain memories available to us, in other sections; it's really weird).

I'm not a superman in any sense of the word. In fact, a lot of people - including

myself, at times - would call me the opposite (these people are, luckily, a type I

have no interest in engaging with; because they are no supermen for me, while

others are such heroes I can’t even begin to describe it). However, in this non-

superman existence, I have always - no matter how bad I've had it; and, as you

know, things have been utterly and completely horrendous, for years on end -

had these "something else" moments come back. Very, very often.

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Whether or not these exact visions can be made real is not of much consequence;

what matters is what they make us to. If they make us feel worthy of big things,

won't we aim higher…? Won’t we take actions we wouldn’t take otherwise…?

Won’t we, because of what I just said, reach higher than we would had we not

“imagined”..? And, really... what is a life without dreaming.

What You Can Do When You Feel Unstoppable

(Inspiration + Small task)

We're just in the beginning of this book, so I'm only intending to inspire, and

empower, you to see things differently (rather than go out and embark on

something you have no real belief in), so let's take this slowly... However, I hope

to make you wonder… make you curious about your actual ability to make things

happen. Because, who knows how that curiosity – those moments where you

wonder - affect our ability..? Do you know it doesn’t actually make things

possible…? In any case, doesn’t it seem likely they have to at least move you in

the right direction; better than the moments when we’re completely emotionally

shut off from believing in our ability to change things..?

Task: What would happen if every moment, where you got curious about your

ability, was followed by action? However small the action (and it may be tiny;

tiny becomes large before you know it). This, rather than unfailingly falling back

into the hole of no-hope. ...Or, back to existing around people who lack hope in

themselves, or anyone or anything.

The Power Of One Event, And How To Short-Circuit It

(Perspective) Most of us have had single events, in some area of life, that have heavily

influenced us afterwards. Influenced us to the point where we formed an

identity around them. Sadly, many of us have negative events behind our lack of

success in an area.

Page 25: 8 Habits of Emotionally Amazing Living, excerpt

…Imagine if whatever negative momentum you had gained – however crazy the

snowball effect was – the only thing needed, at any point, to turn around your

situation was something small. One small thing.

And why would this be true…? Because – let’s say you’re one of those people

(like I used to be and still revert to sometimes) who thinks he’s not very “cool” .

Let’s say, like a lot of people in this situation, you’ve let your whole view of

yourself be built on that one event, at that time. One event. It makes sense that

the viewpoint you have of yourself – socially, or whatever - cannot be very

accurate, doesn’t it. You’ve lived for 20+ or so years, so should one event – a few

seconds, minutes or hours – tell you more about you than the rest of that time…?

Point to take from here: You don’t really have to do anything more than stop

believing in – stop relying on – what one event says about you. If you can simply

stop that – which can be done, given how ridiculous it is to believe in – by

becoming aware of when you’re letting yourself be controlled by the event (read:

feel as that event has made you feel about yourself) - then you’ve won so much,

freed yourself so much from unnecessary bullshit, you can’t believe.

Changing Depression (Perspective + Small Task) I say the following many times in this book: depression is balance. What do you

make of that; does it give you a sense of knowing or does it sound like mumbo-

jumbo..?

Well, the thing is: depression is maintained only if your emotional life is kept in a

grey state. As soon as that emotional greyness – that balance – is stirred, the

depression is threatened. Makes more sense…?

If you would assume that this is true (and please do, even for just a minute), then

any change – however minute – could have great impact on the way you’re

feeling. Want to try it out…? Then do this, right now (to make sure you don’t

forget it), for a minute: Breathe differently (quicker/slow/deeper/more shallow),

change your voice tone (in your thoughts/the next time you talk to someone),

move in a different way than you do when feeling down. Just varying the way

in which you go about anything goes against what allows a depression to exist.

To change the depression (changing the depression kills it; because it’s only

Page 26: 8 Habits of Emotionally Amazing Living, excerpt

ever your emotional state we’re talking about), a contrast needs to happen.

A great example of (emotional) contrast is a negative emotion. Yes – negative.

Negative emotions are way less negative than neutral. Why? Because they

enforce, empower and drive, change. When you feel yourself slip into the grey

area of existence, just think of something that makes you feel negative (if positive

isn’t an alternative at the time). Just try it out.

For the first time period of doing this (if you stick with it), be very simple about

it, and only put your mental focus on that negative emotion or thought. That’s all

you do. Then, when you have this skill, of focusing, down pretty well, start see if

focusing more on that feeling makes it stronger. The stronger the emotion, the

more of a contrast

Remember, the whole point here – and getting out of depression - is about

change. Only. You don’t even care about doing something magnificent, or even

good. You change – and, when you have a method for doing it, you continue

using that method.

If you’ve done any of the variations I just described, I know you’ve had at least a

slight experience of how variation affects depression (and will want to enjoy that

at more occasions; but make sure you do it – I would choose one of these things

to do while waiting for anything or anyone to happen; whenever you have time

to kill).

Thoughts Are Started, So They Can Be Stopped (Action) Your mind is in your body - your body is not in your mind.

Your mind is yours; you aren’t controlled by your mind and you aren’t your mind.

The mind is a tool. So, if noticing a slip into some recurring negative thought –

for example, “It’s ALWAYS like this” – you can stop that thought. It’s very much

possible. The only reason it is problematic is (the admittedly not small thing) that

your mind is conditioned to always be active (and you’re even more likely, to

think a negative thought recur, if you’re and you’re conditioned to be negative).

So, what do you do? Practice stopping thoughts. But, you do it when relaxed.

Page 27: 8 Habits of Emotionally Amazing Living, excerpt

While already in a relaxed state, so you leverage the state rather than try and

force relaxation. Just behave as if your brain is an on and off thing; a thought

comes – so the mind is working on another cylinder – and you “go there” and

shut that thought off. …Another thought comes – you shut it off.

You can also do this by pulling your tongue upward; you pull it up to stop the

little movement your tongue is doing when thinking; it behaves a bit like it was

talking. I know – weird – but it’s true and it works. Try it.

Point to take from here: You control your mind.

Change Is Always Instant (Perspective + Mindblast +

Small Task) Change happens in an instant. Whatever magnitude, it’s instant. The magnitude

makes you think more about it… but all those pre-change-worry and all thoughts

- of what changing might mean and all of that junk - are beside the act of changing

(read that again if your mind wasn’t slightly blown). When you think that

something might mean this or that… can you attach that meaning without it

having to do with reality whatsoever? Is it possible? You know it is.

The whole process of change, from the decision to carrying it out, can take

instants. It may hurt – may hurt a lot – in those few moments, but isn’t that to

prefer over the extended period of worry, uncomfortable feelings, hallucinations

over what might happen (may not have even a bit to do with reality), and so

forth…

When fabricating possible meanings, you’re doing the proverbial version of

walking slowly into cold water, as opposed to jumping in. However, compared

to walking slowly into cold water, this torture goes on for a much longer time

and is actually worse (because, as opposed to the physical pain of slowly exposing

yourself to cold water, the pain in this situation is to a large degree imagined).

Task: Imagine if you lived by this. What could you do? Have 30 seconds to think

about this or let it simmer in your mind in the coming few days (the latter, I have

found, is often the more effective way of going about it; as it’s something that

occurs more than once and having to do something instantly can often make you

Page 28: 8 Habits of Emotionally Amazing Living, excerpt

tense up).

Point to take from here:

The pain of change is imagined; since the act of change is instant and everything

else unnecessary.

Your Potential - Why "Realistic" Is Humorous

(Inspiration) (Read under the headline “High Standards”, on page 35, first). What is said,

there, is true for anyone; regardless of circumstances. Why is that and how can I

know it? Because, as we are products of evolution, we adapt to things. If we did

not have adaptability, we would die; and, in fact, cells that lack sufficient

adaptability die constantly. (I know I’ve said this before; I’m repeating it as a

precursor to saying crazy things). Your body is countering things like cancer, all

the time, and it’s done through adaptation. So – the definition of adaptation, of

making things happen, may as well be “easy”.

So, let’s tie this in with getting higher standards… Can you do it? You certainly

can hold yourself back, by thinking and believing negative things (but tha t’s just

smoke and mirrors you’re putting up, with your real competence left untouched)

. Why? Well, there’s a pretty strong argument for it… Really – what is the

stronger force – your thoughts, which say you cannot make things happen, or

your (and your ancestors’) cells having demonstrated that you can make it

happen for millions of years?

Even if you have never done something great, your having higher standards will

produce better results.

You seriously can't do anything about the inborn immense capacity you have to

do things. It's not possible – it’s always going to be there, and there will always be

ways to unlock that capacity. Getting higher standards - and being as open to

your ability to live up to them as to the opposite - is a damn good start.

Point to take from here: Your potential to adapt is way higher than you think,

Page 29: 8 Habits of Emotionally Amazing Living, excerpt

because you wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for your genes’ adaptability.

Why The Past Neither Equals Nor Controls The Future

(Perspective + Mindblast) Realize that memories are nothing but thoughts. Each memory is one way of

looking at one situation, saved into your memory only because you felt

strongly at that point. Memories are thoughts about events and these events

have already occurred; have all stopped occurring; so how could they control

you?

These events cannot be changed, so they aren’t worth thinking about (other than

if enjoying or learning from). Past events have stopped affecting you, and can

no longer pose actual danger in the same way as a vicious dog, that chased

you, is no longer a danger. The event is a thing of the past.

It’s your choice to keep them alive - and, through reliving them, have them

destroy your life for no reason (and, probably, the life of those surrounding you;

at the very least lower your ability to give them of yourself).

Yes, memories can be awesome - and yes, they can be horrible - but don't spend

your time in the past when you would prefer not to. Enjoy the good ones, to get

yourself in a good mood; but don’t dwell on those either (create new ones

instead).

Simply disregard the negative emotions created by negative memories; while,

when they do pop up, learn something from them (why not something that

would help you lower that event’s negative impact on you from now on).

Making the switch to no longer have memories control you can make all the

difference ( and changes are scary, but you will adapt to them; so that the new

reality becomes the new “normal” for you; and that’s when all the fun starts.

Point to take from here:

A memory treats one angle of an event (so, if can never show the whole picture;

meaning, a negative memory necessarily leaves out positivity that was present in

the situation). A painful memory regards something that happened a long time

ago; so how can it have actual power?

Page 30: 8 Habits of Emotionally Amazing Living, excerpt

No Assumptions = Freedom (Perspective) An assumption creates a loop in your mind. How? Well, going back to the fear-

of-flying example (read about this under “When Worried, Check The Facts” on

page 27) and what happened, in my mind, because of the clouds… Was it the

clouds’s fault that I feared them? No. Was I fearful because I could foresee the

future..? I was, because I felt so thought I could. What I did was assume

something would happen.

Well, if you go into a situation – any situation – without assuming what you’ve

always assumed… won’t the outcome be different.. ? Maybe you go in, with a

sexy man/woman, not thinking that x facial expression directed in your direction

(or even some other direction) means they think this or that about you, or even

has anything to do with you. …What would follow that…?

And if you’re currently a Casanova/the female version of that, just apply the

above to any other situation. Maybe you assume you can’t make a lot of money

(because no one in your family ever has). Well, are there any assumptions

leading up to that assumptions..? …See how that has a pretty heavy assumptive

quality about it..? That should tell us something.

What you might not know, is that the saying that you become who you hang out

with is exactly true; you “learn how the world is” by those you spend most time

with (and what do these people think that you can see clear evidence affects

you…?)

This also goes back to the whole “be as open as you are closed to a new idea”.

You could actually make a conscious assumption… you could start assuming that

x thing – which, usually, you would have thought not even worth trying,

because you assumed it would not go well - is as likely to turn out good as it is to

turn out bad. You can’t tell the future, so you don’t know if that’s unrealistic.

Point to take from here: By assuming nothing, we open up for experiencing and

achieving different things (going up to a person we would have previous

assumed x because of y facial expression, open-minded will produce an outcome

that is somehow different)

Page 31: 8 Habits of Emotionally Amazing Living, excerpt

Grounding (Action) Are you standing? Do it. Now, feel yourself weighing against the ground (feel

“through the feet”, so to speak). This keeps you out of your mind, out of

depression and in touch with the world.

I’ve learned to use the word impossible with the

greatest caution – Wernher von Braun

If this made you feel really damn good, and

you think it makes sense to invest time and

Page 32: 8 Habits of Emotionally Amazing Living, excerpt

energy into applying my advice, then maybe

you’d like to have a look at

the full version of this book. Because… I don’t

know where you’re at right now – if you feel

really low on a consistent basis and need

uplifting, if you feel really damn good almost

all the time, and want more consistency, or if

you feel super-good but want those last few %

of emotional fulfillment – but I know time

and energy are way more precious resources

than money can ever be (money can be gained

while time just ticks on, never to be regained).

So… if how you feel in life is important to

you, and you think what I’m saying here will

help you, then I think you owe it to yourself

to at least have a look at this book

https://www.scribd.com/doc/215898348/8-

Habits-of-the-Emotionally-Amazing-Life-

Stressed-Depressed-or-Plagued-by-Personal-

Sadness-to-Embracing-the-Unknown-For-

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