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7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens Parent University

7 habits of higly efffective teens

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7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens

Parent University

LIFE FOR TEENS

IS NO PLAYGROUND

It is a maze full of right or wrong turns-right or

wrong choices.

Parents can teach teens principles, values and

skills to help them make better choices.

“WE CAN’T MAKE THEIR DECISIONS FOR THEM, BUT WE CAN GIVE THEM

THE RIGHT TOOLS THEY NEED TO MAKE RIGHT DECISIONS.”

HOW DO EFFECTIVE TEENS

MAKE CHOICES?

THEY BASE THEM ON: THEY BASE THEM ON: PRINCIPLESPRINCIPLES

VALUESVALUES

What is a Habit?

We are what we repeatedly do.

Excellence, then, is not an act,

but a habit. Aristotle

Knowledge(what to, why to)

Desire(want to)

Skills(how to)

HABIT

Habits are patterns of behavior composed of three overlapping

components:– Knowledge

– Desire– Skill

• Are they reactive or proactive?• Do they know where they are going?• Do they prioritize the things they have to do?• Do they see life as a competition?• Do they talk first and then pretend to listen or listen actively?• Do they cooperate with others or do they think they are better off doing everything by themselves?7. Are they so busy with life that they do not have time to: • Spend quality time with family and friends• To do their homework• Read good books• Exercise• Take time for nature or other inspirational things?

What is an effective teen?What is an effective teen?

PARADIGMThe way you see

something,your point of view,frame of reference,

or belief.

What is a paradigm shift?

A paradigm shift is a way of looking atsomething differently. We are stepping “outside the box”. When we make a paradigm shift we can see,think, feel and behave differently. Example:• People used to think the Earth is flat.• Sailors proved the Earth is round.

(a paradigm shift occurred)

Frank Koch wrote: Two battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on maneuvers in heavy weather for several days. I was serving on the lead battleship and was on watch on the bridge as night fell. Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported, "Light, bearing on the starboard bow." "Is it steady or moving astern?" the captain called out. Lookout replied, "Steady, captain," which meant we were on a collision course.The captain then called to the signalman, "Signal that ship: We are on a collision course, advise you change course 20 degrees."

Back came the reply, "Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees." The captain said, "Send, I'm a captain, change course 20 degrees." "I am a seaman second class" came the reply. "You had better change course 20 degrees." By that time, the captain was furious. He spat out, "Send, I'm a battleship. Change course 20 degrees." Back came the reply, "I'm a lighthouse." We changed course.

Steven Covey (in “The 7 habits of Highly Effective People”) tells that story to teach that principles are “like lighthouses.” They are natural laws that cannot be broken.”

To show regard or value for someone or something.

Emotional Bank AccountLike a checking or savings account,

you can make deposits or withdrawals.Personal-How you feel about yourself. (Amount of trust and confidence in yourself.)

Relationship-How you feel about others. (Amount of trust and confidence you have in each

of your relationships)

Personal Bank Account Deposits

• Keep promises to yourself• Do small acts of kindness• Be gentle with yourself• Be honest in all your dealings• Enhance your talents• Take care of yourself• Think positively and use positive self-talk

Personal Bank Account Withdrawals

• Break promises to yourself• Isolate yourself• Put yourself down• Think negatively and use negative self-talk• Be dishonest with yourself• Neglect your talents• Wear yourself out• Expect yourself to be perfect

Relationship Bank Account Deposits

• Keep promises to others• Do small acts of kindness• Be loyal to those not present• Listen actively• Say you are sorry• Set clear expectations• Allow others to be different

Relationship Bank Account Withdrawals

• Break promises• Keep to yourself• Gossip and break confidences• Do not listen• Be arrogant• Set false expectations

7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens

Habit 1 Be ProactiveHabit 2 Begin With The End in MindHabit 3 Put First Things FirstHabit 4 Think Win-winHabit 5 Seek First to Understand, Then to Be UnderstoodHabit 6 SynergizeHabit 7 Sharpen the Saw

Habit 1 Be Proactive

Teenagers are the product of their environment, upbringing, and choices. Are their choices

proactive or reactive? They need to choose how they act. They need to take responsibility

for their choices and their life.

CIRCLE OF NO CONTROL

CIRCLE OF CONTROL

AttitudesWeather

Birthplace

Parents

What other

people say and

do Choices & Responses

Ourselves

Habit 2 Begin With the End in Mind

Identify the principles they want to live by. Values are self-chosen & provide foundations for decision making about where they are going in life.

Define their mission and goals.

Habit 3 Put First Things First

Prioritize

Actions flow from that which is important.

Habit 3: Put first things first.Urgent Not Urgent

Important

Not Important

Quadrant ICrisesDeadline driven projectsPressing Problems

Quadrant II: PreparationPreventionCommitmentRelationship building

Quadrant IIIUnimportant phone calls, email, meetings or reportsInterruptions

Quadrant IVTriviaBusy work Time wasters

• We want Quadrant II > Quadrant I.• Quadrant II comes from Quadrants III and IV.

• Estimate how much time you spend in Quadrant II (and what IS Quad IV?) ...• How do you plan your day? Datebook? Palm Pilot?• How much is your time worth to you, in dollars/hour?

Habit 4 Think Win-win

Mutual Benefits.

Have an “everyone can win”

attitude.Win-win is like an

all you can eat buffet.

Five Dimensions of Win/Win

Character• Integrity• Maturity• Abundance mentality

Relationships• From transactional to

transformational Agreements

• What needs to be done – not how

Processes• Third alternative

Supporting systems

Habit 5 Seek First to Understand,Then to be Understood

Communication solves

problems.

Listen to people

sincerely.

Habit 6 Synergize

Open-mindedness. Teamwork. New ways to do things. Work together to achieve more.

Celebrate differences.

A fruit salad is delicious precisely because each fruit maintains its own flavor.

Habit 7Sharpen the Saw

Continuous self-renewal and self-improvement in:

your brain

your heart

your body

your soul

SOLUTION ORIENTED PROBLEM SOLVING

1. Name the problem, and who owns it. (Be sure it is the REAL problem)

2. Describe it specifically. (Name the parts of the problem.)

3. Brainstorm. (Name all the solutions you can think of, no matter how crazy they may seem.)

4. Think about each solution:*Does it honor the values of your family, yourself, and

others whom you respect?*Would it solve the problem?*Would it affect yourself and others for better or worse?

5. Choose a solution, and act on it.

6. Evaluate the outcome:*Is the problem solved?

*Did the solution produce the results you expected?*How did the solution fit with your

feelings and values?*Did the solution fail to meet your or the

other party’s needs in any way?

*What else happened?*Would another solution work better?

Successful Family Checklist

Are effective communication channels in place? Is the family committed to excellence? Does everyone in the family know their specific role? Do the individuals in the family regularly operate out

of their strengths as opposed to their weaknesses? Do members understand – and share – the common

goals and vision? Is there a detailed plan of action for success?Do family members respect and appreciate one

another? Does the family take a break from time to time to just

have fun together?

Adapted from http://www.insiderreports.com/department.asp_Q_ChanID_E_BZ_A_DeptID_E_GTKN_A_StoryID_E_20000336

Expected OutcomesExpected Outcomes

• Increased engagement and motivation • Greater responsibility for learning • Increased peer collaboration skills • Greater confidence and self-esteem • Increased listening skills • Greater content mastery• Better peer collaboration• More time on task • More skill in analyzing and solving problems

GETTINGGETTING UNDERWAY WITH THE UNDERWAY WITH THE

7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens