The Key For Successful Living
The 7 Habits ofHighly Effective PeopleThere is no real excellence in all this world which can be separated from right living
Common deep personal & professional problems: How to reach the career goals set without losing personal and family life?How can I keep a promise I make to myself?How can a manager train his employees to be independent and responsible if it happened once that this manager was home sick for a day? How can one really congratulate a friend enthusiastically for achieving some degree of success and recognition without eating his heart out? Theres so much to do and theres never enough time. How can I manage my life effectively?
The Key for Successful Living
Personality EthicCharacter Ethic Focus on attitude and behavior minor change To change the situation first we have to change ourselves and our perceptions significant, quantum change Works in short term situation (symptomatic treatment) Has personal worth in the long term relationship Social band aids that treats only acute problems temporarily Treats the underlying chronic problem
The Key for Successful LivingPrimary and secondary greatnessQuit lacking at the leaves of attitude and behavior (secondary greatness)Get to work on the root, the character (primary greatness) from which these attitude and behavior flow.
The Power of a Paradigm A paradigm is :A frame of reference, a modelA perception, assumption The way we perceive, understand & accordingly interpret and judge things. A mental map.
Two people can see the same thing, disagree and yet both be right.The more we examine the way we see things, the more we can test them against reality. Listen to others and be open to their perception, to get a far more objective view.
Being Is SeeingBe See Think Feel Behave
We cannot change our seeing without changing our being If you want to have. Be. The seven habits paradigm: An inside-out approach to personal and interpersonal effectiveness
Can we create a HABIT?We are what we repeatedly do Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit Habits are learned and unlearned We are not the habits, hence we can change them
Effectiveness is defined as p/pc balancep= production = what is produced, the desired results producedpc = production capacity = producing asset. Maintaining, preserving and enhancing the resources that produces the desired results Maintain the p/pc balance:Balance short term with long termTake time to invest in a relationship Win the customer more than the call
The Seven Habits Paradigm
Principles of Personal LeadershipMove yourself from dependence to independence, the foundation for effective interdependence Achieve private victory, the foundation for public VICTORYAchieve self mastery through self awareness, self confidence and self control.
Principles of Personal LeadershipPrepare yourself for interpersonal leadership Build a changeless inner core, from which your attitude and behavior flow Build the principle center that gives you the wisdom and power to adapt to change and to take advantage of the opportunities that change creates.
The Maturity Continuum
Character & Personality Although image, techniques and skills can influence your outward success, the weight of real effectiveness lies in good character.
Character & CompetenceCharacterA person with high character exhibits integrity, maturity and an Abundance Mentality.CompetenceA person with high competence has knowledge and ability in a given area.As people balance these two elements, they build their personal trustworthiness and their trust with others.
Character & CompetenceCharacterCompetence
JUDGEMENTCHARACTERIntegrity Maturity Abundance Mentality InterdependencyCOMPETENCETechnical skills Qualifications Knowledge Experience
EMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNT
Habit 1BE PROACTIVE
Three theories of determinism affecting our response to a certain stimulus
Genetic determinism (DNA)Psychic determinism (childhood experience) Environmental determinism (boss, spouse, economic situation, notational policies)
Habit One: Be ProactiveThe Habit of Personal VisionThe Four Human Endowments:
Self-Awareness Examining thoughts, moods and behaviorsImagination Visualizing beyond experience and present reality (work on alternatives)Conscience Understanding right and wrong and following personal integrityIndependent Will Acting independent of external influence
PROACTIVE MODELResponsibility = Response-ability
Proactive people: Behavior in the product of ones decision based on valuesPersonal leaders Take the initiative and are solutions to problems Successfully handle direct, indirect and no control problems
PROACTIVE MODELReactive people: Behavior is the product of ones condition based on feelingsUnhappy people who feel victimized and immobilized, who focus on the weaknesses of other peopleBlame other people and circumstances they feel are responsible for their own stagnant situation.
Reactive LanguageProactive Language There's noting I can doLets look at our alternationsThats just the way I amI can choose a different approachHe makes me so madI control my own feelingsThey wont allow thatI can create an effective presentationI have to do thatI will choose an appropriate responseI cant I chooseI mustI preferIf onlyI will
REACTIVE FOCUS (Negative energy reduces the Circles of Influences)PROACTIVE FOCUS (Positive energy enlarges the Circles of Influences)
Habit 2BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND
Start with a clear understanding of your destination Picture deeply what kind of husbands, wife, father or mother would you like to be?What kind of son or daughter or cousin?What kind of friend? What kind of working associate?
AssumptionsAssume at your funeral, how would family, colleague, friend, church, etc talk about youAssume todays the last day in your lifeAssume:Body - Had a heart attack; Mind Life of your profession is 2 years; Heart Other person is clairvoyant; Spirit You met with the Almighty
Habit Two Begin with the End in MindThe Habit of Personal LeadershipMental Creation Precedes Physical Creation
To start with a clear understanding of your destination.
Write your MISSION STATEMENT
Choose a Life Center
Create a personal mission statements = a personal constitution, a frame of reference Align your daily behavior with your life objectives Business = busy-nessClimbing the ladder of success: effectiveness vs. efficiency
Our deepest center: Work FamilySpouse/Husband Friend Religion SelfPleasurePossessionsMoney Enemy
Our four life-supporting factors derive from the very center of our circle of influenceSECURITY: Sense of worth, self esteem & personal strength GUIDANCE:Source of direction in lifeWISDOM: Perspective on lifePOWER:Decision making ability
A principle center:
Creating a solid changeless core, from which flow the four life-support factors.Correct principles do not change a principle-centered person stands apart from the emotion of the situation and evaluates the options.
A principle center:
You wont be acted upon by other people or circumstances See change as an exciting adventure and opportunity to make significant contributions.
Habit Two Begin with the End in MindThe Habit of Personal Leadership
Habit Two Begin with the End in MindThe Habit of Personal LeadershipPrinciple-CenteredSomeone who is principle-centered bases decisions on principles that govern human effectiveness. Principles are the ideal core because they allow us to seek the best alternative through conscious choice, knowledge and values. Principle-centered people try to :Stand apart from the emotion of a situation and from other factors that would act on them.Make proactive choices after evaluating options.
Habit Two Begin with the End in MindThe Habit of Personal LeadershipMission StatementA powerful document that expresses your personal sense of Purpose and meaning in life. It acts as a governing Constitution by which you evaluate decisions and choose behaviors.
Define Leadership & ManagementLeadership deals with Direction(Doing the right things)
Management deals with Speed, Co-ordination, Logistics in moving in that direction(Doing the things RIGHT)
Habit 3 PUT FIRST THINGS FIRSTThings which matter most must never be a the mercy of things which matter least.
Two Factors to Define Any Activity Urgency - An activity is urgent if you or others feel that it requires immediate attention.Importance - An activity is importance if you personally find it valuable, and if it contributes to your mission values, and high-priority goals.
Time management matrix
The Time Management MatrixI
Urgent & ImportantActivities Results Crises
Putting out fires
The Time Management MatrixII
Not urgent but ImportantActivities Results Prevention, PC activitiesRelationships building Recognizing new opportunitiesPlanning recreation Vision BalanceDisciplineControlFew crises
The Time Management MatrixIII
Urgent but Not ImportantActivities ResultsInterruptions, some callsSome mail, some reportsSome meetingsProximate, pressing mattersPopular activities Short-term focusCrisis managementFeel victimized, out of controlBroken relationships
The Time Management MatrixIV
Not Urgent & Not Important Activities Results Trivia, busy workSome mailSome phone callsTime wastersPleasant activities Dependent on othersTotal irresponsibility Fired from jobs
.Crisis. Pressing problems. Deadline-driven projects, meetings, preparations. Preparation. Prevention. Values clarification. Planning. Relationship building. True re-creation. Empowerment. Interruptions, some phone calls. Some mail, some reports . Some meetings. Many proximate,pressing matters. Many popular activities. Trivia, busywork. Some phone calls. Time wasters. Escape activities.Irrelevant mail. Excessive TVI IIIIIIVUrgentNot UrgentImportantNot Important
Habit Three - Put First things FirstThe Habit of Personal ManagementURGENTIMPORTANTNOT URGENTNOT IMPORTANTCrises ManagementAttach to MissionDistractionsTime Wasters
Habit Three - Put First things FirstThe Habit of Personal ManagementEffective people have genuine Quadrant 1 crises and emergencies that require their immediate attention, but the number is comparatively small. They keep P and PC in balance by focusing on the important, but not urgent, activities of Quadrant II
Habit Three - Put First things FirstThe Habit of Personal ManagementThings which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.
The Key is not to prioritize your schedule butto schedule your priorities.
Habit Three - Put First things FirstThe Habit of Personal ManagementPut First things First involves a six-step, QII processThat will help you act on the basis of importance. Importance, in the context of Put first things First, is defined By your mission statement and confirmed by your conscience.The six steps can be used in weekly planning or as often as needed.Connect to MissionReview RolesIdentify GoalsOrganize WeeklyExercise IntegrityEvaluate
Public VictoryThere can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity.
PRINCIPLES OF INTERPRSONAL LEADERSHIP The p/pc balance in an interdependent realityThe emotional bank accountThe amount of trust built up in a relationshipThe feeling of safeness that makes communication easy, instant and effective
Six major deposits
Understanding the individualUncover the persons deep interest or needsTreat them all the same by treating them differently
Attending to the little thingsKindness and courtesies are the big thingsPRINCIPLES OF INTERPRSONAL LEADERSHIP
Six major deposits
Keeping commitmentsKeep a promise you have made or explain the situation and ask to be released from it.
Clarifying expectations Conflicts arise form ambiguous expectations about roles and goals PRINCIPLES OF INTERPRSONAL LEADERSHIP
Six major deposits
Showing personal integrity Goes beyond honestyBuild the trust of those who are present by being loyal to those who are not present
Apologizing sincerely when you make a withdrawalIt is the weak who are cruel, gentleness can only be expected from the strongPRINCIPLES OF INTERPRSONAL LEADERSHIP
P problems are PC opportunitiesProblems create the opportunity to build a deep relationship the emotional bank account that empowers us to work together as a strong complementary team.
Habits One, Two & ThreeThe first three habits help develop a deep base of character and personal security . Once these 3 habits become part of who you areyou are then ready to begin building rich enduring highly productive relationships with other people and thats where habitsfour, five and six come in.
Habits Four, Five & SixThese are the habits that lead to interdependent relationships. Habit Four : Think Win-winThe attitude of seeking solutions, so that every one can win.Do this by communicating. This is done by Habit FiveHabit Five : Seek first to understand, then to be understoodHabit Six : This is the habit of creative co-operation - SynergyThis happens when two sides in a dispute work together to come with a solution which is better than what either side initially proposed.
Habit 4THINK WIN WINWe have committed the Golden Rule to memory; let us now commit it to life
Six Paradigms of human interactions: Win/winWin/loseLose/winLose/LoseWinWin/win or no deal
Win/WinSeeks for mutual benefitAll parties feel good about the decision and feel committed to the action planSees life as cooperative, not competitiveTheres plenty for everybodyBelieves in the third alternativeListens more, stays in communication longer, and communicates with more courage.
Habit Four - Think Win-Win The Habit of Interpersonal LeadershipWin-Lose : People with a win-lose mindset are concerned with themselves first and last. They want to win, and they want others to lose. They achieve success at the expense or exclusion of anothers success. They are driven by comparison, competition, position, and power. CharacteristicsIs very common scripting for most peopleIs the authoritarian approach.Uses position, power, credentials, possessions, or personality to get the Win.
Habit Four - Think Win-Win The Habit of Interpersonal LeadershipLose-Win : People who choose to lose and let others win show high consideration for others, but lack the courage to express and act on their feelings and beliefs. They are easily intimidated and borrow strength from acceptance and popularity. CharacteristicsVoices no standards, no demands, no expectations of anyone else.Is quick to please or appease.Buries a lot of feelings.
Habit Four - Think Win-Win The Habit of Interpersonal LeadershipLose-Lose : People who have a lose-lose paradigm are low on courage and consideration. They envy and criticize others. They put themselves and others down. CharacteristicsIs the mindset of a highly dependent person.Is the same as a no win because nobody benefits.Is a long-term result of a win-lose, lose-win, or win.
Habit Four - Think Win-Win The Habit of In...