3. VOICE

6+1 Traits of Writing

Voice

Voice is a writer’s personality and individuality translated on paper

It is the enthusiasm, energy, curiosity, and commitment behind the writing

Voice shows that a writer cares about his/her audience and topic

Voice Activity 1: Celebrity Quote Matching

With a partner, read over the Celebrity Quote matching sheet. What you are trying to do is match the quote with the celebrity you think said it. Think about the person saying it and how he/she might express him/herself. Choose the best options.

Don’t have a cow, man!

How do I include voice in my writing?

Notice voice in the writing of others and analyze their strategies

Read aloud to hear the voice in a piece

Know the topic that you are writing about, which will help to create a confident voice

Choose topics about which you feel curious or enthusiastic

Using strong imagery or sensory details to bring a scene to life (description)

Write with honesty

Keep the audience in mind and respond to their needs or anticipate questions you think they might have

Use a voice appropriate for the context/situation

A good writer should (when considering voice):

Write to be read Write as though you think others will be reading it – give it personality and make it

interesting

Connect with the reader Connect to the reader’s emotions through vivid description, specific word choices, and

personality

Write honestly and from the heart

Care about what he/she has written

Share his/her feelings about the topic

Use expression and language that brings the topic to life for the reader

Give the reader a sense of the person behind the words

Speak to the reader, without using the word “you”

Voice

Voice should be individual and engaging

It should ache with caring

It should be honest, committed and responsive

It should suit the audience and the topic

It should show a strong interaction with the reader

Examples of Words that describe writing voice

Knowledgeable

Friendly

Honest

Self-depreciating

Compassionate

Poetic

Confessional

Obsessive

High-energy

Sarcastic

Whiney

Depressed

Angry

Empathetic

Formal

Gossipy

Rambling

Sweet

Harsh

Disgusted

Remember, these are only

a few of the possible words to

describe voice

Samples of student writing rich in voice:

I will never forget my Aunt Leisa. She loved to bead. She made earrings, necklaces, and bracelets. She was free spirited. She even swam with the dolphins once. On the horrible date of November 13th her spirit was released from her body.

You want me to tell you what I expect from high school and how my expectations compare to reality? Ha! You’re going to love this. If I was gambling in Las Vegas, all of my money would be gone in half an hour – I was that far off!

Samples of student writing rich in voice:

What I want most is strong verbs. Teachers

all say I got weak verbs. I got no strong verbs. Teachers all say I got weak verbs. I got no strong verbs. I always have a tuff

time in school cause of that. I been pushed around and hounded too much about them

verbs. Always them verbs!!

Bo

ok

of A

weso

me

#930 Finally getting that tiny piece of popcorn out of

your teeth

You know when you can just feel that popcorn kernal stuck back

there in swampy recesses of your mouth and it’s totally infuriating?

Yes, your tongue slides past its smooth surface unsuccessfully, your

toothbrush’s flimsy bristles just can’t shake it, and even your

fingernail can’t quite unwedge it from the tight molar deathgrip it’s

stuck in.

So the fork is dropped and the dessert lays unfinished, the

conversation fades to a blurry, distant noise, and the world stops

around you as you just keep trying and trying and trying to get that

popcorn kernal out. You close your eyes and squint, you tilt your

head, you emit a deep-bass “nnnnnnn” noise, as your body directs all

available faculties at flushing this thing out. But it just sits there tightly,

clogging and gumming up your entire system like a pile of defaulted

mortgages.

Then suddenly it falls out.

AWESOME!

The Book of

AWESOME

Part 3: Voice

Go now and work in your Book of Awesome pamphlet

– work on drafting an entry similar to one found in the

book, but make it personal and unique to you.

Voice –Freewriting Activity “I Am…”

You are about to encounter your one of your first rounds of freewriting in this class.

World's Greatest by R. Kelly

How to freewrite: Take out your writer’s notebook.

Write today’s date & the activity.

Begin to write, starting with whatever is on your mind.

Today’s freewrite activity must be in response to the statement “I am …”. Each sentence must begin with “I am”, then you fill in the blanks. Use the song to inspire your thoughts.

In a freewrite, you must not lift your pencil from the paper or stop writing until the time limit has been met.

Response will be written to R. Kelly’s song,

The World’s Greatest.

Quick Review on Voice

How do you include voice in your writing?

What’s important to consider when choosing an appropriate voice to use?

More on voice

Think about your reader as you write. Write directly to that person just as if he or she were standing there talking to you. Be yourself. Don’t try to impress the reader. Readers will respond to your sincerity, honesty and conviction.

Are you doing a paper on sea urchins? Bungee jumping? Geometric shapes? Lightning? Dancing? Write with confidence, as if you know what you’re talking about and it is utterly fascinating; your enthusiasm will be contagious and will draw the reader in to your writer’s web of ideas and feelings. Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the

reader – not the fact that it’s raining, but the feel of being rained upon. -- E. L. Doctorow

More about voice

Voice is you coming through your writing. It’s what gives your writing personality, flavour, style – a sound all its own. Only you can give your writing this special touch because no one else sees the world quite the way you do. Pretty neat, huh! Your voice is as unique as your fingerprint.

Honesty is important to create voice in your writing. You must say what you truly think and feel – not what you think someone else might want to hear. This takes courage. You must write from the inside out – from the part of you that’s in touch with your feelings. This means you need to know yourself, listen to yourself, and trust those thoughts and feelings. Sometimes, the very act of writing will help you discover what you truly think and feel. It’s risky, a bit scary, and exciting too!

Voice Activity 2: Evaluating Greeting Cards

The next few slides include images of different greeting cards for different occasions. Consider the following questions as you go through them:

What makes them different?

Why are different cards appropriate for different occasions or different people? (Think audience)

How do the greeting cards help to illustrate different voice?

Voice Activity 2: Evaluating Greeting Cards

What occasion would this card be best for/what kind of card is it? Who might you give it to? How would you describe the voice used? (touching, humourous, sad, encouraging, professional, passionate, thoughtful, mean-spirited, angry, charming, eloquent, etc?)

Voice Activity 2: Evaluating Greeting Cards

What occasion would this card be best for/what kind of card is it? Who might you give it to? How would you describe the voice used? (touching, humourous, sad, encouraging, professional, passionate, thoughtful, mean-spirited, angry, charming, eloquent, etc?)

Voice Activity 2: Evaluating Greeting Cards

What occasion would this card be best for/what kind of card is it? Who might you give it to? How would you describe the voice used? (touching, humourous, sad, encouraging, professional, passionate, thoughtful, mean-spirited, angry, charming, eloquent, etc?)

Voice Activity 2: Evaluating Greeting Cards

What occasion would this card be best for/what kind of card is it? Who might you give it to? How would you describe the voice used? (touching, humourous, sad, encouraging, professional, passionate, thoughtful, mean-spirited, angry, charming, eloquent, etc?)

Voice Activity 2: Evaluating Greeting Cards

What occasion would this card be best for/what kind of card is it? Who might you give it to? How would you describe the voice used? (touching, humourous, sad, encouraging, professional, passionate, thoughtful, mean-spirited, angry, charming, eloquent, etc?)

Voice Activity 2: Evaluating Greeting Cards

What occasion would this card be best for/what kind of card is it? Who might you give it to? How would you describe the voice used? (touching, humourous, sad, encouraging, professional, passionate, thoughtful, mean-spirited, angry, charming, eloquent, etc?)

Voice Activity 2: Evaluating Greeting Cards

What occasion would this card be best for/what kind of card is it? Who might you give it to? How would you describe the voice used? (touching, humourous, sad, encouraging, professional, passionate, thoughtful, mean-spirited, angry, charming, eloquent, etc?)

Voice Activity 2: Evaluating Greeting Cards

What occasion would this card be best for/what kind of card is it? Who might you give it to? How would you describe the voice used? (touching, humourous, sad, encouraging, professional, passionate, thoughtful, mean-spirited, angry, charming, eloquent, etc?)

Voice Activity 2: Evaluating Greeting Cards

What occasion would this card be best for/what kind of card is it? Who might you give it to? How would you describe the voice used? (touching, humourous, sad, encouraging, professional, passionate, thoughtful, mean-spirited, angry, charming, eloquent, etc?)

Humour, in particular, sarcastic humour, is often where a writer finds his voice

early on in his career. It’s easy to let your personality shine through when you are having fun with something. It’s not the only way to express yourself, but it’s a good place to start. Voice is the most

personal of the six traits, and writers may not at first feel comfortable revealing

themselves in serious ways. Lighthearted writing can be a safe place to begin

exploring.

Voice in Context: A student Sample

Dolls of Doom

I hate Barbie dolls. The worst things are the commercials. They have annoying little songs that they run in the background while these girls are going “Wow! Her braid changes colour,” while giggling their heads off. I had the little jingle for that dumb “pet Doctor Barbie” running in my head for two weeks straight. Why did the song stop then? They came out with a new one!

My sister has this weird one where the legs change from weird orangey pink skin colour to some sort of sparkly black when you put the doll in cold water. “When the water’s cold, Barbie dives right in and her wet suit magically appears on her skin.” Wet suit, schmet suit. I tried spraying the legs of the doll with some cold water, and it looked like either a whole bunch of moles or some weird case of skin cancer.

Alliteration in the title hints at the playful nature of

the piece.

You know exactly how the writer feels about the

topic right from the start.

An unexpected but appropriate

expression – unusual for a fifth

grader.

Sarcasm, mockery,

jocularity, etc. You know this

writer is having a good time; he wants the reader to have a good

time too.

Student Sample, Continued

More and more keep coming out, more “Dolls of Doom”, as I call them. Sure, they’re selling by the thousands, but they only keep them interested for a month, and then they ask for another, and the cycle goes on. Pretty soon, some little girl’s room will be filled with Barbies. If it happens to my little sister, her room will cave in on mine, which is right under it, unfortunately.

When I’m old enough, I’ll join the Army and get myself an M-1 tank or fleet of Harriers or something, and raid Mattel. Or maybe I’ll make them make a doll like “Militia Barbie” or “In the Navy Now Barbie”. Pretty soon, all the little girls in America will be saying, “I wanna Barbie, not a GI Joe!” Down with the dolls! Nuke every Fred Meyers or Toys ‘R’ Us that carries them! Let the revolution for a Barbie-free America begin!

The End But only if you call 1-800-569-BARBIE-X now to apply

for B.A.D.D.E (Boys Against Dumb Dolls Everywhere)

Exclamation mark used for emphasis. The

writer has strong feelings

and a clear point of view.

The writer’s playfulness continues

through the “End” of the

piece.

How can you tell if a writer is curious and enthusiastic about a topic (and shows that through voice)?

Read the piece aloud, with expression.

Then, ask yourself: Does the writer know what he/she is talking about?

Do I sense enthusiasm about the topic?

Was this writer curious enough to dig for some interesting information about the topic?

If the writer makes you feel enthusiastic and curious too, you’ll know you’re in good hands.

Test this approach on the following two samples

Sample 1

Rattlesnakes! Those things are pretty scary. I’ve heard they can find their prey in the dark – or the daylight. Maybe that’s why people are afraid of them! Or it could be their looks. Some people say a rattlesnake bite can be pretty dangerous . It can be fatal, but that’s rare, probably.

6 5 4 3 2 1

It’s all here:

knowledge,

curiousity and

enthusiasm – I

know I’m in

good hands

Something is

missing.

Knowledge?

Curiousity?

Enthusiasm?

I’m not in good

hands yet.

Sample 2

“Home, home on the range, where the dear and the antelope

play…” Soaring through the air above the playing deer and antelope is where you might find the ferruginous hawk. Dry, open-range country is where these birds of prey like to make their homes. Their name comes from their coloration – reddish-rust brown feathers on their backs, wings, and down their legs. You might know them by another name, the

squirrel hawk. 6 5 4 3 2 1

It’s all here:

knowledge,

curiousity and

enthusiasm – I

know I’m in

good hands

Something is

missing.

Knowledge?

Curiousity?

Enthusiasm?

I’m not in good

hands yet.

Analyzing Voice in Writing

Together, we are going to read Jerry Seinfeld’s book entitled, Halloween.

As we read, listen to the voice in the piece.

How would you describe the voice? Choose a word that suits it.

Now we are going to listen to it. Does your word choice for voice still suit, or does having heard the comedian change it?

Voice Writing Activity

Go into your writer’s notebook and choose an idea that you would like to write about (a pet peeve, something that makes you mad, one of your favourites, etc).

Write a paragraph response that is rich in voice. You will write about the same topic twice, in two different paragraphs, each one targeted toward a different audience.

Choose 2 audiences: a grade 2 class, your peers at lunchtime, a graduation speech, a newspaper, your parents, the principal, other.

A piece that is rich in voice should do the following:

•be individual and engaging •be honest, committed and responsive •suit the audience and the topic •show a strong interaction with the reader •be enthusiastic and curious about the topic

Voice Rubric

Criteria 5 (Strong) 3 (Developing) 1 (Beginning)

Honesty & conviction

The paper is honest and written from the heart. It has the ring of conviction.

The writing communicates in an earnest, pleasing manner. Moments here and there amuse, surprise, delight or move the reader.

The reader has a hard time sensing the writer behind the words. The writer does not seem to reach out to an audience, or make use of voice to connect with that audience.

Use of Language

The language is natural yet provocative; it brings the topic to life.

Voice may emerge strongly on occasion, then retreat behind general, vague, or abstract language.

The writer speaks in a kind of monotone that tends to flatten all potential highs and lows of the message.

Sense of Interaction

The reader feels a strong sense of interaction with the writer and senses the person behind the words.

The writing hides as much of the writer as it reveals.

The writing communicates on a functional level, with no apparent attempt to move or involve the reader.

Awareness of Purpose & audience

The projected tone and voice give flavor to the writer’s message and seem very appropriate for the purpose and audience.

The writer seems aware of an audience, but often fails to weigh words carefully, or stands at a distance and avoids risk.

The writer is not yet sufficiently engaged or at home with the topic to take risks or share her/himself.