5 Questions to Ask Before Posting to Social Media

7/11/2014 5 Questions to Ask Before Posting To Social Media | RELEVANT Magazine

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Some guidelines for thinking before you post.

was a freshman in college when Facebook came out and I distinctly

remember thinking, why would I need this? I have AOL Instant

Messenger and MySpace!

Well, times have changed. Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram (and

a slew of other sites Im not cool enough to know about) have simultaneously brought

us closer together and driven us further apart. With the exception of a few universally

offensive statements or pictures, its a rule-free zone where we can interact with

society while accepting minimal personal responsibility for the implications of what

5 Questions to Ask Before Posting To Social Media

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BY CARA JOYNER



WHEN WE VIEW SOCIAL MEDIA FROM A LENS OFDISCONTENTMENT, WHATEVER WE FIND WILL BE COLORED WITHBITTERNESS AND UNGRATEFULNESS.

we do.

In absence of guidelines for healthy and polite social media etiquette, we are left to

determine our own boundaries for navigating the seemingly endless opportunities

available to us.

Before we snap one more picture of our hot chocolate topped with a foam leaf, perhaps

we would benefit from a brief pausean extra 30 seconds to ask five simple questions

might suggest its time to unplug, or at least reconsider when and how we use social

media:

1. Am I seeking approval?If youve taken an introductory psychology class, youve probably heard of B.F. Skinner

and operant conditioning. Skinner suggested that we learn behaviors through

reinforcement.

When I seek validation through something I post and that little red flag starts popping

up to notify me of each person giving me attention, its an addictive reward. And it

works. I feel better, so I keep coming back for more. The next time I need to feel

approval, Ill return to the source that poured it out last time, and the cycle of

reinforcement continues.

What are the bigger needs asking to be met here? Maybe its a desire for community.

Perhaps it stems from unresolved conflict with someone I love. Or maybe I just thrive

on pleasing people and hearing their praise. If your interaction with the internet is

driven by a need for approval, consider healthier ways to address this issue and

choose to stop reinforcing the unhealthy ones.

2. Am I boasting?Theres sharing excitement and then theres bragging. Truthfully, we each know

which camp we fall in.

When the Apostle Paul described what it meant to love others, he specifically

mentioned that love does not boast. That post isnt just a picture or just a tweet,

its an opportunity to love others in a way that reflects Jesus. Or its an opportunity to



show them something quite different, something that looks nothing like Christ.

Examine your motivations and walk away before using social media as the adult

version of show-and-tell.

3. Am I discontent?Are you looking for something better? If so, walk away. Nothing you will read, write

or see is going to solve this one.

Instead, ask yourself why you are discontent and address those needs. When we view

social media from a lens of discontentment, whatever we find will be colored with

bitterness and ungratefulness. Their lives will begin to look brighter than ours, while

our lives will take on a sense of lacking.

Let us not forgettheir world is as ordinary as ours and our life is as exciting as

theirs. Do you believe that in your core? If not, take a break. Deactivate your account

for a couple months. Create space to reevaluate and look for answers in the places

youll actually find them. Stop asking the virtual world to solve dissatisfaction with

the physical one.

4. Is this a moment to protect?When my son crawls into my lap, he doesnt want me to take his picture and shoot it

across Facebook. He doesnt care who else thinks I have a cute kid. He just wants me

to hold him and see him. To feel his soft, chunky arms and to focus on the way his

eyelashes move when he blinks.

When we interrupt lunch with a friend in order to quote her on Twitter, we invite

hundreds of people into a conversation that could have been sacred; and we miss the

sweet memories that may have formed had her words remained simply between the

two of us.

Not every great moment needs to be shared. In fact, some of the best times are most

enjoyed privately. If we suspend the present in an attempt to capture its beauty in

140 characters or less, we sacrifice our experience of the moment itself. We also rob

each other of something that has been lost in our digital agekeeping a handful of

memories between us and those we are closest to, or even just between us and God.

5. Is it kind?Lets return to Paul and his call to love. Love is patient. Love is kind.

Our culture tells us its our right to comment on everything, regardless of whether it



WE HAVE BEEN GIVEN COVERED SPACE FROM WHICH TO THROWGRENADES, WITHOUT REQUIRING US TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FORTHE WEIGHT OF OUR WORDS.

was addressed to us and without consideration for how it might affect others.

Weve replaced face-to-face confrontation with sharp comments and mocking memes.

We write demeaning tweets addressed to celebrities or openly criticize individuals we

have never met, hiding behind the convenience that they cannot directly defend

themselves and nobody is putting our personal lives on display for public criticism.

We have been given covered space from which to throw grenades, without requiring

us to take responsibility for the weight of our words, their effect on other people and

their reflection on the Church. Jesus said the world would recognize us by our love.

What messages are we sending?

A Better WaySocial Media seems to be built around the idea that it can infiltrate nearly every part

of our lives. And if we let it, thats exactly what will happen. We are the ones who say

when its reach becomes unhealthy.

As children, our parents laid out rules for our protection and as adults we took on the

task of caring for our own well being and personal growth. Its our job to set

boundaries and ask tough questions, tending to the bigger picture of our

relationships and the way our actions reflect Christs love for this world.

Its worth noting that these are questions we ask of ourselves, not criteria for

interpreting and evaluating others. We cannot know their hearts anymore than they

can know ours.

Let us pause and give ourselves an honest moment to reflectbringing discernment,

love and wisdom to each picture and word we share.

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5 Questions to Ask Before Posting to Social Media