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Somewhat Unofficial publication of the Sunbury United Cricket Club
40 th anniversary 14 th december, 2013
Inside: Making Headlines Statistics Heritage Numbers Funny Pages
Vol13141 Printed by Sunbury Print + Copy
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Making headlines.
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Youngest player to play senior cricket Jessie James 11 years 88 days
Oldest player to play senior cricket John McDonald 66 years 355 days
Youngest player to score a century Ron Brown 15 years 211 days
Oldest player to score a century Harry Young 61 years 308 days
Youngest player to take a wicket Austin Young 11 years 117 days
Oldest player to take a wicket John McDonald 65 years 139 days
Youngest player to take 5 wickets in an innings
Jason Dunn 14 years 163 days
Oldest player to take 5 wickets in an innings Danny Warr 56 years 221 days Players dismissed for 99 Kelly Skillecorn
Brian Long Andrew Drummond
Shane Forti Rob Watts Greg SmithHayes
Players dismissed most in the nervous 90’s Roger Podolczak 6 Lance Long 4
92, 93, 95, 96, 96, 97 90, 94, 98, 98
No of players to play with club 668 2,152 games played No of players to play in a premiership 164 31 premierships
Players who have played in every grade Jason Collins Peter Evans John Stark
Garry Wilson Harry Young
Total runs made by all players / Total wickets taken by all players
351,569 runs 17,914 wickets
Total number of ducks 2,393
Total number of dropped catches 4,115
Total number of catches 10,180
11 Bowlers used in 1 innings 8 times in 1 st inn 4 times in 2 nd inn
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Statistics Games
Name # Name # Name # Kevin Cartwright 370 Greg Smith‐Hayes 135 Brent McDougall 82 Garry Wilson 368 Glen Thompson 119 John Hales 81 John Stark 364 Troy Eden 119 Andrew Readman 81
Harry Young 310 Glen Hopkins 118 John Roffey 81 Lee Webber 301 Brian Long 118 Bruce Newton 80 Adam Smith 289 David Drummond 116 David Trethowan 79
Roger Podolczak 285 Steve Grey 115 Brian Millett 79 Trevor Corrie 280 Shane Farquhar 115 Paul Deeble 79 Terry Basford 268 Damian Gauci 113 Steven Bryson 79 Lance Long 257 Chris Linton 113 Daryl Brown 79
Stephen James 247 Luke Morrison 112 David Bellis 78 Rob Hyatt 246 Jason Thompson 112 Brendan Mott 77 Stuart Wilson 242 John Markham 111 Clive Neville 76 Adam Billinghurst 228 David Allen 111 Mike Collins 74
Gary Pretty 219 Wayne Elliott 109 Steven Sparrey 73 Mark Boyes 207 Rob Watts 107 Peter Symonds 73 Andrew Drummond 203 Glen Elliott 105 Jesse James 72 Shane McGlynn 198 John Knight 105 John Martin 71
Ben Powell 197 Troy Wilson 104 Peter Woodyard 71 Peter Tidswell 194 Hilton Cother 103 David Symonds 71 Michael Jensen 192 Glen Potter 100 Jamie Koo 71
Andrew Powell 186 Ken Thomas 99 Aaron Calleja 70 Peter Evans 184 Brett McGann 98 Warren Mascoll 70 Bill Morison 183 Brendan Carter 98 Rhys Anthony 69 John Grant 183 Tim Boxall 98 Nathan Morse 68
Geoff Pretty 182 Dervis Duradbegovic 97 Mick Burgess 68 Shane Ronchi 179 Peter Woollard 96 Stan Mascoll 67 Lance Watts 175 James McGrath 95 Dave Octigan 66 Rob Cambruzzi 172 James Hughes 95 Marty Lakey 66
Wayne Grinham 168 Jonathan Snowball 91 David Jones 66 Ryan Billinghurst 166 Brendan Murphy 91 Andrew Knight 65 Mark W Richardson 160 Reg Thompson 90 Scott Browne 65 Matthew Anderson 155 Steve Sola 90 Damien Edwards 65
Mark A Richardson 154 Ron Stuart 88 Greg Duncan 65 Mark Opie 154 Grant Ronchi 86 Jarrod Potter 64 Peter Jaeger 148 Steven Fogarty 86 Jake Calleja 63
Shane Forti 146 Rohan King 86 Jason Venkataya 62 Jason Richardson 143 Dylan Wright 84 Paul Millett 62 Rodney Lupson 142 Phillip Allen 83 Drew Evans 61 Colin Gathercole 139 Andrew Hill 82
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Runs Name # Name # Name #
Roger Podolczak 10229 Brendan Murphy 2185 Paul Deeble 1239 Kevin Cartwright 8321 James Hughes 2172 Paul Millett 1226
John Stark 7116 John Knight 2164 Bruce Newton 1210 Gary Pretty 6391 Hilton Cother 2161 Warren Mascoll 1175 Garry Wilson 6053 Troy Wilson 2122 Ian Coxall 1160
Lee Webber 5499 Paul Bain 2105 Robert Reidy 1152 Harry Young 5405 Rob Watts 2060 Jarrod Potter 1146 Lance Long 5321 Stephen James 1993 Reg Thompson 1118 Wayne Grinham 4860 John Roffey 1905 Rodney Lupson 1111
Adam Billinghurst 4816 John Hales 1778 David Gray 1108 John Markham 4758 Mike Collins 1729 Brett Jones 1103 Andrew Powell 4273 Ron Stuart 1720 Stuart Wilson 1065 Peter Tidswell 4053 Lance Watts 1696 Neville Bottams 1052
Michael Jensen 3976 Greg Smith‐Hayes 1672 Brendan Carter 1048 Adam Smith 3831 Marty Lakey 1667 Brent McDougall 1038 Ryan Billinghurst 3810 Lucas Bugeja 1665 Daryl Brown 1010 Geoff Pretty 3732 Ken Thomas 1644 Sean Cornish 1005
Mark Opie 3642 Damien Edwards 1560 Phillip Allen 989 Steve Grey 3514 Mark Boyes 1554 Brett McGann 976 Peter Woollard 3448 Peter Woodyard 1549 Mick Burgess 971
Mark A Richardson 3415 Vernon Cann 1536 Andrew Knight 965 Jason Thompson 3415 David Drummond 1526 Adrian Paul 954 Peter Evans 3396 Rhys Anthony 1513 Luke Morrison 950 Glen Thompson 3324 Stan Mascoll 1505 Dave Octigan 917
Matthew Anderson 3105 Glen Elliott 1489 Clive Neville 904 Andrew Drummond 3096 Steve Bowen 1475 Thomas Mitchell 898 Jason Richardson 3072 Rick Hay 1473 Jason Venkataya 888 Bill Morison 3071 Rob Hyatt 1417 Andrew Hill 875
Trevor Corrie 2916 Dylan Wright 1393 Gary Miladinovic 874 Mark W Richardson 2819 Peter Symonds 1372 John Martin 861 Shane Forti 2767 Tim Boxall 1361 Kelly Skillecorn 846 Terry Basford 2763 Nathan Morse 1347 Joshua Smith 840
Troy Eden 2659 Jim Kosta 1340 Ian Cecil 824 John Grant 2632 Chris Linton 1335 Bradley Wilson 822 Glen Hopkins 2600 Terry Rudd 1324 David Trethowan 815
Glen Potter 2596 Steven Fogarty 1320 Drew Evans 814 Shane McGlynn 2539 Andrew Readman 1318 Brent Lehmann 807 Dervis Duradbegovic 2407 Zach Ross 1300 Brian Long 795 Peter Jaeger 2406 Brian Millett 1271 Ray Fairbairn 788
Damian Gauci 2204 Rohan King 1243 Ron Brown 779
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Wickets Name # Name # Name #
Terry Basford 539 Chris Wakeling 113 Peter Woollard 59 Trevor Corrie 507 Steve Sola 111 Nick Bruton 58
Rob Hyatt 451 David Drummond 109 Kevin Elliott 56 Stephen James 417 Scott Browne 106 Peter Worboys 55 Lee Webber 416 Mike Collins 102 Wayne Grinham 55 Bill Morison 409 Gerard Robertson 101 Peter French 54
Harry Young 347 Peter Jaeger 100 Troy Wilson 54 Stuart Wilson 344 Aaron Calleja 100 Matthew Anderson 54 Shane Ronchi 343 Jamie Koo 99 John Markham 54 John Stark 333 Robert Reidy 98 Vernon Cann 52
Mark Boyes 326 Greg Duncan 97 Peter Symonds 52 John Grant 320 David Allen 95 John Hales 51 Colin Gathercole 279 Jonathan Snowball 93 Ron Smith 50
Adam Smith 244 Daryl Brown 90 James Massaro 48 Rob Cambruzzi 242 Rob Watts 87 Graham Rolfe 48 Rodney Lupson 238 Paul Deeble 86 John Martin 46 James Hughes 232 Jason Gauci 85 Bob Sawyer 46
Reg Thompson 223 Roger Podolczak 85 Mal Maiden 44 Geoff Pretty 203 Geoff Furnell 85 Shane Forti 44 Glen Elliott 196 Jason Collins 82 John McKenna 44 Grant Ronchi 178 Mark Bitmead 80 Jessy Carroll 43
David Trethowan 167 Jesse James 80 Jason Agrotis 43 Andrew Drummond 167 Mark Opie 77 Peter Woodyard 42 David Symonds 156 Brad East 77 Shane Mattox 42 Steve Grey 149 Nathan Morse 76 Lance Long 42
David Jones 147 Glen Thompson 75 Andrew Knight 41 Luke Morrison 146 Mick Geyer 75 Adrian Cox 41 Andrew Hill 143 Phillip Allen 72 Scott Hubbard 40
James McGrath 140 Ian Coxall 71 Joshua Wallace 40 Brett McGann 139 Tim Boxall 70 Hayden Kyte 40 Wayne Elliott 136 John Knight 70 Nick Blackmore 40 Shane Farquhar 133 Steven Sparrey 70 Tony Ferraro 40
Clive Neville 131 Josh Lawson 69 Adam Heaton 39 Ben Powell 129 Glen Potter 69 Barry McIntyre 39 Brendan Carter 128 Leif Louwen‐Skovdam 68 Michael Guneratne 39 David Bellis 127 Garry Wilson 65 Ian Laird 38
Rohan King 123 Brad Pietromonaco 65 Chris Linton 38 Mark W Richardson 122 Jake Calleja 65 Andrew Pike 37 Steven Bryson 120 Jarrod Potter 64 Shane McGlynn 37 Kevin Cartwright 120 John Roffey 63 David Weston 37
Gary Pretty 115 Reece Turvey 60
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Catches Name # Name # Name #
Kevin Cartwright 256 Ken Thomas 59 Jason Venkataya 35 Roger Podolczak 243 Andrew Readman 58 Chris Schober 35
Peter Evans 198 Bruce Thomas 58 Steven Fogarty 35 Lance Watts 181 Vernon Cann 58 Troy Wilson 34 Garry Wilson 173 Geoff Pretty 58 Tim Boxall 34
Glen Hopkins 161 Dylan Wright 58 David Jones 34 Trevor Corrie 136 John Markham 57 Rob Watts 33 Brian Long 123 Glen Potter 57 Jamie Koo 32 Lance Long 117 Peter Jaeger 57 Brett Jones 32
Adam Smith 112 Sean Cornish 56 Paul Deeble 31 Stuart Wilson 111 Ben Powell 55 Gerard Robertson 31 Michael Jensen 109 Luke Morrison 53 Dave Octigan 31 Peter Tidswell 105 Mark W Richardson 53 Peter Symonds 31
Stephen James 103 Rohan King 48 Jim Kosta 30 Andrew Powell 95 Reg Thompson 48 Cameron Laird 30 Greg Smith‐Hayes 94 David Trethowan 47 Brett McGann 29 John Stark 90 Steve Grey 47 Mick Burgess 29
Wayne Grinham 89 Luke Cannard 47 Steve Sola 29 Lee Webber 89 Glen Thompson 47 Dervis Duradbegovic 29 Gary Pretty 88 Jonathan Snowball 47 Damien Edwards 29
Mark A Richardson 88 Jason Richardson 46 Andrew Knight 28 Harry Young 87 Damian Gauci 45 Chris Linton 28 Adam Billinghurst 83 Brendan Carter 45 Steven Sparrey 28 Stan Mascoll 79 Ron Stuart 45 Shane Mattox 28
Rob Hyatt 79 Shane Forti 45 Steve Bowen 28 Bill Morison 76 Rodney Lupson 44 Jason Thompson 28 Brian Millett 73 John Roffey 44 Shane Farquhar 28 Andrew Drummond 73 Glen Elliott 44 Clive Neville 27
Bruce Newton 72 David Drummond 44 Wayne Elliott 27 Neville Bottams 71 James Hughes 43 Peter Woollard 27 Terry Basford 71 Rhys Anthony 42 James Wakeling 27 David Allen 70 Marty Lakey 41 Peter Woodyard 27
Mark Boyes 67 Brad Mitchell 40 John Martin 26 Mark Opie 66 Jonathan Norris 40 Brad Pietromonaco 26 John Grant 66 Troy Eden 40 Steven Bryson 26
Ryan Billinghurst 66 Wayne Peacock 40 Matthew Inglis 26 Shane McGlynn 64 Rob Cambruzzi 39 Paul Millett 25 Shane Ronchi 64 Grant Ronchi 37 Mike Collins 25 Drew Evans 63 John Knight 36 Ian Coxall 25
Colin Gathercole 61 Hilton Cother 36 David Symonds 25 Matthew Anderson 60 Brendan Murphy 35 Zach Ross 25
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Dropped Catches Name # Name # Name #
Kevin Cartwright 96 Wayne Grinham 24 Nathan Morse 15 John Stark 84 Rodney Lupson 23 Scott Browne 14
Roger Podolczak 74 David Drummond 23 Steve Sola 14 Trevor Corrie 64 Rob Cambruzzi 22 Brendan Carter 14 Garry Wilson 59 Steve Grey 22 Geoff Pretty 14 Peter Evans 58 Wayne Elliott 22 David Weston 14
Lance Long 53 Troy Wilson 21 Nathan Rudd 13 Andrew Drummond 52 Mark A Richardson 21 Hilton Cother 13 Adam Smith 49 Drew Evans 21 Ken Thomas 13 Stuart Wilson 49 Jonathan Snowball 21 Jarrod Potter 13
Harry Young 48 Reg Thompson 20 Damien Edwards 13 Lance Watts 48 Jim Kosta 20 Peter Woodyard 13 Terry Basford 46 Jason Richardson 20 Zach Ross 13
Rob Hyatt 45 Steven Bryson 20 Luke Morrison 13 Stephen James 45 Dave Octigan 19 Warren Mascoll 13 Gary Pretty 43 Peter Woollard 19 Rhys Anthony 12 Lee Webber 43 Mark W Richardson 19 Nishan Fernando 12
John Grant 43 Stan Mascoll 19 Neville Bottams 12 Greg Smith‐Hayes 41 Steven Fogarty 19 Andrew Readman 12 Shane McGlynn 41 Rohan King 18 Paul Millett 12 Brian Long 38 Rob Watts 18 Ian Cecil 12
Adam Billinghurst 37 Brendan Mott 18 Steven Sparrey 12 Peter Jaeger 36 David Allen 18 Kelly Skillecorn 12 Bill Morison 36 James McGrath 18 John Hales 12 Andrew Powell 33 Shane Farquhar 18 Paul Deeble 12
Ben Powell 33 Chris Linton 18 Glen Potter 12 Colin Gathercole 31 Luke Cannard 18 Bruce Thomas 11 Glen Thompson 29 Mark Bitmead 18 Ron Smith 11
Dylan Wright 29 Brendan Murphy 18 Ron Stuart 11 Damian Gauci 29 Mark Opie 17 Ross Allen 11 Ryan Billinghurst 29 James Hughes 17 Leif Louwen‐Skovdam 11 Bruce Newton 28 Glen Elliott 17 Robert Reidy 11
Michael Jensen 28 Jason Thompson 17 Lucas Bugeja 11 Brett McGann 28 Russell Baird 17 Bradley Wilson 11 Shane Ronchi 27 Peter Tidswell 16 Brent Lehmann 11 Mark Boyes 27 Brad Pietromonaco 16 Chris Schober 11
Tim Boxall 26 Matthew Fitzpatrick 15 John Adams 11 John Markham 25 Mick Burgess 15 Darren Dakin 11 Matthew Anderson 25 Glen Hopkins 15 Jesse James 11 Shane Forti 24 Cameron Laird 15 Matthew Inglis 11
John Knight 24 Brian Millett 15 Greg Duncan 11
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Ducks Name # Name # Name #
Garry Wilson 47 Lance Long 12 Phillip Allen 8 John Stark 32 James McGrath 12 Rohan King 8
Adam Smith 30 John Hales 12 David Symonds 8 Kevin Cartwright 28 Shane Farquhar 12 Brad Pietromonaco 8 Terry Basford 25 Brian Long 11 David Jones 8 Stephen James 24 Tim Boxall 11 James Wakeling 8
Peter Tidswell 23 Phil McKenzie 11 Bradley Wilson 8 Roger Podolczak 21 Ryan Billinghurst 11 Glen Hopkins 8 Harry Young 21 Troy Eden 11 Mike Collins 8 Andrew Powell 20 Rob Cambruzzi 11 Jonathan Norris 8
Mark W Richardson 20 Wayne Elliott 11 Troy Wilson 8 Shane Ronchi 20 Steven Sparrey 11 Stephen Denko 8 Ben Powell 19 Andrew Knight 11 Brent McDougall 8 Rob Hyatt 19 Mark Opie 11 Paul Deeble 7
Lee Webber 19 Brendan Carter 10 Graham Rolfe 7 Chris Linton 19 Brad Evans 10 Peter Woodyard 7 Lance Watts 18 Andrew Norris 10 Glen Thompson 7
Stuart Wilson 17 Dave Octigan 10 Nathan Rudd 7 Adam Billinghurst 17 Aaron Wright 10 Brett McGann 7 Paul Mott 17 David Drummond 10 Barry Borlase 7 Reg Thompson 17 John Green 9 Steven Fogarty 7
Andrew Drummond 17 Clive Neville 9 Jamie Koo 7 Shane McGlynn 16 Colin Gathercole 9 Jamie Faulkner 7 Matthew Anderson 16 John Knight 9 Jason Richardson 7 Greg Smith‐Hayes 16 Nathan Morse 9 Jacob Hyatt 7
David Allen 16 Jake Calleja 9 Peter Evans 7 Trevor Corrie 16 Scott Hubbard 9 Mick McMahon 7 John Grant 15 Jarrod Potter 9 Hayden Kyte 7 Michael Jensen 15 Warren Mascoll 9 Rob Watts 7
Mick Burgess 14 Steve Sola 9 Mark A Richardson 7 Shane Forti 14 Glen Elliott 9 Mark Boyes 7 Andrew Readman 14 Peter Symonds 9 Adrian Paul 7
David Trethowan 14 Grant Ronchi 8 Andrew Bugeja 7 Brendan Mott 14 Cameron Attard 8 Wayne Grinham 6 Bill Morison 14 Daryl Brown 8 Dervis Duradbegovic 6 Peter Jaeger 13 Ken Thomas 8 Jason Collins 6
Rodney Lupson 13 Trent Bellis 8 Drew Evans 6 Luke Morrison 13 Dylan Wright 8 Jonathan Snowball 6 Damian Gauci 13 Ron Stuart 8 Vin Lakey 6 Gary Pretty 13 Hilton Cother 8 Geoff Pretty 6
David Bellis 12 David Gray 8 Jessy Carroll 6
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Finals Played Name # Name # Name #
Garry Wilson 36 Peter Woollard 11 Aaron Monzell 6 John Stark 33 Dervis Duradbegovic 10 Kelly Skillecorn 6
Terry Basford 31 Ben Powell 10 Jason Gauci 6 Lee Webber 29 Steve Grey 10 Greg Smith‐Hayes 6 Trevor Corrie 28 James Hughes 10 Jim Kosta 6 Peter Evans 26 Mark W Richardson 10 David Drummond 6
Lance Long 24 Luke Morrison 10 Matthew Anderson 6 Roger Podolczak 23 Dave Octigan 10 Sean Cornish 6 Harry Young 23 Hilton Cother 10 Brendan Carter 6 Adam Smith 21 Glen Potter 10 Brett Jones 6
John Grant 21 Stan Mascoll 10 Warren Mascoll 6 Kevin Cartwright 20 John Knight 9 Steve Bowen 6 Rob Hyatt 19 Brendan Murphy 9 Daryl Brown 6
Stephen James 19 Jonathan Snowball 9 Clive Neville 6 Andrew Drummond 19 Troy Wilson 9 Chris Wakeling 6 Adam Billinghurst 18 Rodney Lupson 8 Chris Linton 6 Mark Boyes 17 James McGrath 8 Rohan King 6
Lance Watts 17 Colin Gathercole 8 David Jones 6 Jason Richardson 16 John Hales 8 John Martin 5 Ryan Billinghurst 16 Dylan Wright 8 Wayne Peacock 5 Wayne Grinham 16 Troy Eden 8 Shane Mattox 5
Michael Jensen 16 Gerard Robertson 8 Grant Ronchi 5 Shane McGlynn 15 Bruce Newton 8 Rick Hay 5 Andrew Powell 15 David Allen 7 Ron Smith 5 Peter Tidswell 15 David Bellis 7 Jamie Koo 5
Bill Morison 14 Paul Deeble 7 Jessy Carroll 5 Shane Ronchi 14 Drew Evans 7 Andrew Knight 5 Stuart Wilson 14 Jesse James 7 Leif Louwen‐Skovdam 5
Geoff Pretty 13 Glen Elliott 7 Adrian Paul 5 Damian Gauci 12 Glen Thompson 7 Damien Edwards 5 Wayne Elliott 12 Neville Bottams 7 John Roffey 5 Peter Jaeger 12 Steve Sola 7 Brad Pietromonaco 5
John Markham 12 Brett McGann 7 Glen Hopkins 5 Mark A Richardson 12 Scott Browne 7 David Trethowan 5 Mark Opie 12 Brian Long 7 Drew Wilson 5 Jason Thompson 12 Shane Forti 7 Shane Farquhar 5
Rob Cambruzzi 11 Andrew Hill 7 Nathan Morse 5 Rob Watts 11 Rhys Anthony 7 David Weston 5 Gary Pretty 11 Reg Thompson 7
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Premierships Name # Name # Name #
Lee Webber 9 Rob Watts 3 Cameron Laird 1 Peter Evans 7 Scott Browne 3 Clive Neville 1
Trevor Corrie 7 Drew Evans 3 Shaun Willoughby 1 Garry Wilson 7 Bill Morison 3 Brian Millett 1 John Stark 6 Daryl Brown 2 Darren Dakin 1 Adam Smith 6 Dave Octigan 2 Shane Mattox 1
Rob Hyatt 6 Leif Louwen‐Skovdam 2 Shane Farquhar 1 Ryan Billinghurst 5 David Allen 2 David Bellis 1 Harry Young 5 Dean Macnamara 2 David George 1 Andrew Powell 5 Dervis Duradbegovic 2 David Jones 1
Andrew Drummond 5 Wayne Peacock 2 David Symonds 1 John Grant 5 Colin Gathercole 2 Damien Edwards 1 Lance Long 5 Greg Smith‐Hayes 2 Tim Boxall 1
Terry Basford 5 Chris Linton 2 Aaron Cooper 1 Paul Deeble 4 Jim Kosta 2 Aaron Monzell 1 Shane McGlynn 4 Andrew Hill 2 Aaron Willoughby 1 Peter Jaeger 4 Geoff Pretty 2 Wayne Duscher 1
Jason Richardson 4 Jason Thompson 2 Adrian Cox 1 Mark Boyes 4 Dylan Wright 2 Adrian Paul 1 Roger Podolczak 4 Gerard Robertson 2 Alan East 1 Lance Watts 4 Glen Hopkins 2 Alan Lever 1
Wayne Grinham 4 Jonathan Snowball 2 Trent Bellis 1 Adam Billinghurst 4 Neville Bottams 2 Brent McDougall 1 Stuart Wilson 4 Stan Mascoll 2 Andrew Pike 1 Damian Gauci 4 Nathan Morse 2 Brian Long 1
Kevin Cartwright 3 Peter Woollard 2 Thomas Mitchell 1 Hilton Cother 3 Steve Sola 2 Steven Bryson 1 Shane Ronchi 3 Rodney Lupson 2 Bob Holthouse 1
James McGrath 3 Trent Hayes 2 Bob Sawyer 1 Ben Powell 3 Rhys Anthony 2 Bradley Dowsett 1 Troy Eden 3 Shane Forti 2 Brendan Mott 1 Brett Jones 3 Rob Cambruzzi 2 Brendan Murphy 1
John Markham 3 Mark Bitmead 2 Brent Lehmann 1 James Hughes 3 Matthew Anderson 2 David Trethowan 1 Michael Jensen 3 Mark W Richardson 2 Brett McGann 1 Wayne Elliott 3 Troy Wilson 2 Andrew Knight 1
Mark Opie 3 Rohan King 2 Justin Lewis 1 Luke Morrison 3 Steve Bowen 2 Ron Stuart 1 John Knight 3 Peter Tidswell 2 Nathan Rudd 1 Stephen James 3 Chris Wakeling 1 John McDonald 1
Steve Grey 3 Clinton Stuart 1 Aaron Calleja 1
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Premierships Stumpings Name # Name # Name #
Nathan Bridgland 1 Glen Hopkins 85 Bruce Newton 2 Mick McMahon 1 Peter Evans 65 Ross Petersen 2
Jonathon Stevens 1 Kevin Cartwright 43 Peter Tidswell 2 Josh Lawson 1 Lance Watts 38 Luke Cannard 2 Joshua Lanyon 1 Drew Evans 27 Col Elliott 2 Paul Bain 1 Vernon Cann 21 Nathan Bridgland 2
Justin Evans 1 Greg Smith‐Hayes 18 Zach Ross 2 Jesse James 1 Brad Mitchell 13 Brian Millett 2 Kelly Skillecorn 1 Andrew Readman 12 Bradley Wilson 1 Michael Schober 1 Roger Podolczak 11 Brad Tebble 1
Michael Higgins 1 Stan Mascoll 11 Stan Kowalczyk 1 Matthew Fitzpatrick 1 Brian Long 11 Ollie Klerfon 1 Lindon Dowsett 1 James Wakeling 9 Paul O'Farrell 1
Lucas Bugeja 1 Sean Cornish 9 Noel Walsh 1 Luke Cannard 1 Jonathan Norris 9 Don Dowie 1 Mark Dale 1 Trevor Corrie 7 Shane Kruszynski 1 Mark A Richardson 1 Chris Schober 6 Ron Stuart 1
Joshua Smith 1 Glen Potter 5 Michael Higgins 1 Grant Ronchi 1 Cameron Laird 5 Matthew Fitzpatrick 1 Scott McDonald 1 Bruce Thomas 4 Grant Ronchi 1 Ross Sporton 1 Jason Venkataya 4 Brett Linsdell 1
Drew Wilson 1 Josh Lawson 4 Brian Scown 1 John Roffey 1 Jim Kosta 4 Rhys Anthony 1 Fred Nemeth 1 Tony Morganti 4 John Green 1 Gary Miladinovic 1 Dylan Wright 4 Adam Thomas 1
Gary Pretty 1 Wayne Peacock 4 John Markham 1 Geoff Furnell 1 Craig Eddy 4 Barry Borlase 1 Rick Hay 1 Mark Cooke 4 Andrew Powell 1
John Hales 1 Kevin Stuart 4 Andrew Kosta 1 Gordon Gellately 1 Neville Bottams 4 Sean Cornish 1 Michael Jensen 4 Reece Turvey 1 Aaron Hubbard 3
Peter Worboys 1 Harry Young 3 Jamie Koo 1 Ken Thomas 3 Jarrod Potter 1 Ken Walker 3 Jason Gauci 1 Matthew Inglis 3
Jason Brooks 1 Damian Gauci 3 Jason Cressy 1 Mark Mason 2 Peter Symonds 1 Ryan Billinghurst 2 Peter Stableford 1 Ross Allen 2
Glen Potter 1 Gerard Leeds 2
Page 13
Player Heritage Numbers Name # Name # Name #
John Adams 356 Mark Bitmead 589 Frank Busuttil 380 Mark Adderley 142 Nick Blackmore 398 Peter Butt 267
Jason Agrotis 580 Neil Bloem 461 Ricky Buxton 619 Michael Agrotis 585 Barry Boardman 43 Aaron Calleja 442 Paul Akatow 209 Barry Borlase 44 Jake Calleja 542 David Allen 304 Neville Bottams 185 Rob Cambruzzi 240
Phillip Allen 488 Jarrod Bottomley 629 Andrew Campbell 305 Ross Allen 469 Steve Bowen 251 Trevor Campbell 187 Tony Allen 314 Tim Boxall 394 Rhys Campion 421 Andrew Almond 152 Kevin Boyes 184 Vernon Cann 354
Brendan Ames 604 Mark Boyes 190 Luke Cannard 364 Brian Amit 288 Shay Bradfield 513 Jason Carlon 591 Matthew Anderson 397 Nathan Bridgland 595 Graeme Carmichael 20
Rhys Anthony 392 David Broadfoot 292 Ian Carmichael 76 Joshua Ariss 558 Steve Brodie 221 John Carmichael 88 Sean Aruliah 418 Steven Brom 266 Jessy Carroll 545 Mark Ash 618 Luke Bromley 427 Brendan Carter 320
Mitchell Ash 600 Jason Brooks 624 Graeme Carter 343 Cameron Attard 615 Abner Brown 550 Kevin Cartwright 191 Paul Attard 625 Andrew Brown 482 Ian Cecil 160 Tim Attard 636 Daryl Brown 91 David Chaplain 21
Jake Bailey 616 Geoff Brown 382 Peter Chapman 65 Paul Bain 220 Heath Brown 492 Nasir Chaudhry 622 Russell Baird 452 Henry Brown 420 Aaron Christensen 641 Robert Baker 278 James Brown 659 Josh Cilia 665
Phil Baldwin 259 Ron Brown 325 Jim Clancy 143 Ted Ball 79 Shaun Brown 660 Matt Clare 577 Daniel Barre 588 Steve Brown 664 Danny Clarke 233
Phil Barret 491 Stuart Brown 167 Terry Clarke 168 Terry Basford 193 Scott Browne 363 Rob Claxton 149 Justin Baskharon 639 Nick Bruton 345 Don Clayton 127 Adam Beach 654 Steven Bryson 464 John Clements 182
Shane Beams 181 Steve Buckingham 393 Richard Cockfield 39 David Bellis 460 David Buckland 385 Anthony Coletta 422 Trent Bellis 563 Andrew Bugeja 376 Gary Collins 470 Alan Bence 153 Lucas Bugeja 326 Jason Collins 493
Liam Berry 587 Jason Burgess 248 Mike Collins 97 Jason Betts 652 John Burgess 249 Paul Collins 621 Adam Billinghurst 355 Mick Burgess 126 Roy Collins 246 Ryan Billinghurst 419 Terry Burgess 154 Ron Cook 257
Steve Billinghurst 408 Adam Busuttil 590 Jason Cooke 598
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Player Heritage Numbers Name # Name # Name #
Mark Cooke 423 Lachlan Drummond 365 Steven Fogarty 543 Aaron Cooper 637 Greg Duncan 366 Scott Fordyce 567
Sean Cornish 381 Jason Dunn 564 Zach Forster 599 Trevor Corrie 196 Sam Dunne 549 Shane Forti 342 Matthew Cosham 346 Dervis Duradbegovic 336 Edward Fraser 207 Tony Costigan 33 Wayne Duscher 310 Peter French 227
Hilton Cother 98 Michael Dyson 478 John Furlong 46 Anthony Cowling 40 Alan East 229 Daniel Furnell 613 Adrian Cox 53 Brad East 116 Geoff Furnell 614 Ian Coxall 1 Danny Echols 301 Michael Furnell 643
Gary Coyne 210 Peter Eckerman 161 Barry Gardiner 22 Daryl Craig 479 Craig Eddy 539 Colin Gathercole 174 Jason Cressy 211 Matt Eddy 531 Damian Gauci 279
W Crompton 95 Troy Eden 384 Jason Gauci 208 Mark Culliton 68 Damien Edwards 509 Gordon Gellately 252 Tony Curwood 241 James Edwards 551 David George 524 Darren Dakin 212 Noel Edwards 45 Brendan Geyer 47
Mark Dakin 260 Col Elliott 178 Greg Geyer 15 Mark Dale 226 Glen Elliott 58 Mick Geyer 3 Bryce Davies 630 Kevin Elliott 108 Tony Gillies 258 Graeme Davies 222 Wayne Elliott 148 Curtis Gillmans 463
Conrad De Souza 494 Josh Ellis 606 Paul Gloster 318 Shaun De Young 434 Jason Elms 244 Leigh Goodall 518 Cameron Deeble 289 Brad Evans 155 Tony Gould 156 Paul Deeble 335 Bruce Evans 2 Steve Goulding 77
Stephen Denko 592 Drew Evans 440 Ben Graesser 631 Kanishka Dias 480 Justin Evans 435 Daniel Grant 417 Will Dimery 633 Peter Evans 194 Dave Grant 48
Attilla Djember 432 Tom Evans 204 John Grant 274 Mark Dodd 234 Ray Fairbairn 462 Peter Grant 175 Mick Donahue 173 Qais Farooq 407 Brett Grattidge 390 Craig Dore 268 Shane Farquhar 514 David Gray 144
Don Dowie 99 Jamie Faulkner 362 Andrew Green 495 Bradley Dowsett 605 John Ferguson 597 Ben Green 510 Lindon Dowsett 626 Nishan Fernando 532 John Green 114 Jake Doyle 530 Tony Ferraro 146 Steve Grey 496
John Doyle 538 Joe Fisher 533 Martin Gribble 416 Erik Dressler 583 Kyle Fisher 655 David Grieve 476 Andrew Drummond 293 Peter Fisher 235 Danny Griffin 23 Cory Drummond 593 Sam Fisher 534 Max Grimmett 552
David Drummond 347 Matthew Fitzpatrick 367 Wayne Grinham 253
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Player Heritage Numbers
Name # Name # Name #
Terry Grossman 17 Colin Hunter 315 Andrew Kosta 25 Michael Guneratne 273 Jacob Hyatt 620 Jim Kosta 306 Luke Guyett 505 Lucas Hyatt 644 John Kosta 26
David Hackney 269 Rob Hyatt 349 Paul Kosta 70 John Hales 377 Terry Hyland 89 Kelvin Kotek 224 David Halifax 169 Steve Iddles 78 Stan Kowalczyk 285 Paul Halifax 162 Matthew Inglis 386 Phil Krakouer 137
Lindon Harris 481 Tom Ingram 270 Shane Kruszynski 230 Matt Harrison 638 David Jack 486 Varinder Kumar 608 Rick Hay 526 Bianca Jaeger 666 Hayden Kyte 573 Len Hayes 73 Peter Jaeger 487 Craig Laidler 327
Ryan Hayes 465 Ryan Jaeger 483 Cameron Laird 519 Trent Hayes 485 Jesse James 555 Ian Laird 466 John Hearns 544 Justin James 379 Bernie Lakey 51 Adam Heaton 553 Scott James 429 John Lakey 101
Matthew Henry 515 Stephen James 311 Marty Lakey 109 Brett Hewett 399 Tyson James 634 Tony Lakey 117 Matthew Higgins 572 Warren Jeffery 236 Vin Lakey 52
Michael Higgins 554 Michael Jensen 4 Graham Lane 113 Alex Hill 439 Jake Johnson 607 Joshua Lanyon 609 Andrew Hill 348 Blake Johnston 601 Josh Lawson 286 Christian Hill 409 Alan Jones 49 Stephen Leatham 497
Shane Hill 368 Brett Jones 400 Gerard Leeds 83 Des Hinkley 323 David Jones 136 Brent Lehmann 369 Mathew Hocking 656 Frank Jones 133 Alan Lever 410 Travis Hodgson 321 Peter Jones 37 Gary Lever 566
Luke Hollins 428 Richard Jones 128 Adam Lewis 322 Alan Holter 457 Darren Joseph 254 Justin Lewis 302 Bob Holthouse 197 Mark Kani 316 Brett Linsdell 650 Glen Hopkins 63 Mick Kelly 69 Chris Linton 453
Peter Hopkins 54 Paul Kelly 50 Benjamin Livingstone 559 Richard Horton 424 Brian Kerr 82 Matthew Livingstone 522 Dwayne Hoskinson 489 Tony Kiley 34 Brian Long 303
Russell House 223 Jay King 570 Lance Long 5 Dylan Howard 471 Rohan King 357 Paul Long 536 B Howell 81 Ollie Klerfon 24 Leif Louwen‐Skovdam 610 Aaron Hubbard 332 Andrew Knight 401 Kim Lovering 280
Ian Hubbard 74 John Knight 402 Peter Lowe 370 Scott Hubbard 296 Harrison Knott 645 Cornelius Lupson 18 James Hughes 535 Jayden Knott 627 Rodney Lupson 328 Steve Humphries 100 Jamie Koo 425 Richard Lynn 360
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Player Heritage Numbers
Name # Name # Name #
Robert Mack 27 Mick McMahon 6 Jonathan Norris 405 Dean Macnamara 281 Richard McMullin 176 Allan O'Connor 445 Mal Maiden 16 Mark McPherson 657 Dave Octigan 217
John Mallia 35 Cameron McRorie 632 Paul O'Farrell 55 Jack Manning 36 Brian Meney 255 John O'Halleron 29 Andrew Marciniak 157 Chris Miglans 66 Simon O'Leary 334 John Markham 307 Gary Miladinovic 329 Dean Opie 139
Andy Marko 84 Ryan Miller 443 Mark Opie 90 John Martin 93 Brian Millett 119 Bernie Orr 123 Paul Mascoll 290 Paul Millett 170 Matthew Osmond 446 Stan Mascoll 237 Brad Mitchell 430 Craig Palmer 30
Warren Mascoll 238 Thomas Mitchell 520 Darren Palmer 56 Mark Mason 378 Aaron Monzell 371 David Palmer 102 Anthony Massaro 298 Ryan Monzell 444 Steve Panter 523 James Massaro 299 Nathan Mora 640 Rich Parker 582
Marty Mather 150 Steve Moralee 294 Adam Patterson 447 Shane Mattox 337 John Morganti 120 Adrian Paul 330 David Maxwell 163 Tony Morganti 115 Chris Payne 448
Tim McCarten 308 Bill Morison 19 Wayne Peacock 282 Stephen McColl 623 Scott Morison 350 Brenton Pendlebury 667 Chris McConville 403 Ray Morrisey 111 Ross Petersen 662 John McDonald 521 Luke Morrison 441 Brian Phillips 333
Scott McDonald 198 Trevor Morrison 456 Corey Phillips 338 Simon McDonald 540 Nathan Morse 300 Brad Pietromonaco 372 Brent McDougall 433 Brendan Mott 147 Andrew Pike 406 Brett McGann 387 Paul Mott 28 Rod Piper 411
Shane McGlynn 261 Tony Mott 158 David Pitt 317 Mark McGovern 164 Lance Moyle 291 Matthew Pitt 247 Bill McGowan 309 Jasvinder Mudher 388 Steve Pitts 145 Jason McGowan 511 Gary Muir 166 Gary Plummer 199
James McGrath 404 Adrian Murphy 415 John Podolczak 61 Jonathon McIntosh 414 Brendan Murphy 228 Roger Podolczak 41 Barry McIntyre 12 Joshua Murphy 651 Todd Podolczak 525
Paul McKay 512 Bob Musson 180 Brett Pollard 283 Marcus McKean 455 Vincent Naidu 277 Mick Poppelock 124 Gavin McKelvie 586 Fred Nemeth 231 Glen Potter 213 John McKenna 94 Clive Neville 96 Jarrod Potter 565
Phil McKenzie 138 Heath Neville 395 John Potter 129 Paul McLean 472 Steve Neville 243 Andrew Powell 412 Anthony McMahon 13 Bruce Newton 351 Ben Powell 373 Danny McMahon 64 Andrew Norris 7 Gary Pretty 171
Page 17
Player Heritage Numbers
Name # Name # Name #
Geoff Pretty 159 Wayne Sawyer 183 Peter Symonds 62 Dylan Quilty 594 Chris Schober 352 Peter Syrotenko 9 M Quinn 31 Michael Schober 339 Paul Taggart 498
Max Ramshaw 60 Tim Schurr 661 Jeff Talbot 188 Rob Rayner 86 Paul Schwarze 467 Pam Tannenberg 104 Andrew Readman 71 Brendon Scott 612 Steve Taylor 490 Chris Reed 92 Brian Scown 436 Warren Taylor 475
Robert Reidy 132 Wayne Shand 516 Brad Tebble 206 Brendan Richards 200 Kane Shaw 437 Matthew Tegart 262 Clint Richards 578 Jack Sheahan 568 John Telfer 571 Brendan Richardson 374 Andrew Siedel 239 Jordan Tentonello 668
Darryn Richardson 389 Tania Sinclair 340 Aaron Thomas 449 Dean Richardson 646 Shannon Skew 562 Adam Thomas 438 Jason Richardson 344 Kelly Skillecorn 245 Bruce Thomas 177 Mark A Richardson 383 Brad Sluggett 477 Ken Thomas 118
Mark W Richardson 358 David Smart 312 Russell Thomas 276 Kylan Ridings 653 Adam Smith 256 Andrew Thompson 215 Ross Robbins 57 Colin Smith 8 Glen Thompson 218
Jason Roberts 647 Joshua Smith 528 Jason Thompson 219 Gerard Robertson 331 Ron Smith 214 Peter Thompson 151 John Roffey 140 Russell Smith 242 Reg Thompson 105 Graham Rolfe 75 Tony Smith 454 Sheldon Thompson 561
Grant Ronchi 121 Greg Smith‐Hayes 473 Michael Thomson 450 Jason Ronchi 250 Jonathan Snowball 341 Tony Tichy 67 Shane Ronchi 80 Steve Sola 517 Brett Tidswell 192 Bryden Ross 506 Steven Sparrey 413 Peter Tidswell 10
Hayden Ross 560 Ross Sporton 264 Jason Toner 507 Zach Ross 529 Simon Squire 391 Philip Toogood 284 R Rossborough 32 Peter Stableford 195 Anthony Travers 451 Craig Rowsell 103 Kingsley Stanley 225 Mick Traynor 131
Nathan Rudd 556 John Stark 112 David Trethowan 165 Stephen Rudd 579 Jonathon Stevens 297 Bill Trice 313 Terry Rudd 508 W Stevenson 42 Andy Turner 189
Mark Russell 275 Jamie Stinson 546 Curtis Turvey 602 Peter Russo 503 Clinton Stuart 527 Les Turvey 499 Leonardo Rutigliano 603 Kevin Stuart 14 Reece Turvey 500 Danny Ryan 130 Ron Stuart 59 Glenn Tyquin 484
Paul Sahlberg 557 Robert Styles 474 Michael Van Der Kamp 271 Ben Said 611 Varun Sundrayal 569 Mark Van Poeteren 584 Anthony Sammut 575 Andrew Swann 87 Chris Veal 205 Bob Sawyer 134 David Symonds 72 Ray Venables 38
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Player Heritage Numbers
Name # Name # Name #
Jason Venkataya 324 Rob Watts 359 Stuart Wilson 106 Ben Venner 501 Chris Webber 122 Troy Wilson 574 Mark Viola 642 Lee Webber 216 Troy Wilson 361
Ross Wailes 265 Greg Weller 426 Ian Wood 179 Chris Wakeling 502 Kirk Wells 658 Peter Woodyard 125 James Wakeling 547 Gavin West 135 Peter Woollard 396 Ken Walker 201 Geoff West 141 Peter Worboys 85
Antony Wallace 232 David Weston 295 Aaron Wright 548 Bernie Wallace 617 Clyde White 11 Dylan Wright 468 Joshua Wallace 596 Jesse Wilkie 663 Jason Wright 263 Kyle Wallace 628 Don Wilkinson 172 Russell Yardley 287
David Wallis 431 Robert Williams 375 Thomas Yoho 541 Noel Walsh 272 Aaron Willoughby 458 Austin Young 635 Sydney Warne 649 Shaun Willoughby 459 David Young 202 Danny Warr 648 Bradley Wilson 581 Harry Young 203
Darren Watt 537 Drew Wilson 504 Jackson Young 576 Peter Watters 319 Garry Wilson 110 Andrew Zarbo 107 Lance Watts 353 Ian Wilson 186
Page 19
Funny Pages HARRY THE EAGLE
One day, Harry the Eagle waited at the nest for Mary, his darling of 10 glorious years.
After a while when she didn't return he went looking and found her. She had been shot dead!
Harry was devastated, but after about six minutes of mourning he decided that he must get himself another mate. Since there weren't any lady eagles available he'd have to cross the feather barrier.
So he flew off to find a new mate. He found a lovely dove and brought her back to the nest.
The sex was good but all the dove would say is .......... 'I am a DOVE, I want to love! I am a DOVE, I want to love!'
Well this so got on Harry's nerves so he kicked the dove out of the nest and flew off once more to find a mate..
He soon found a very sexy loon and brought her back to the nest. Again the sex was good but all the loon would say is........
'I am a LOON, I want to spoon! I am a LOON, I want to spoon!' So out with the loon.
Once more he flew off to find a mate. This time he found a gorgeous duck and he brought the duck back to the nest. This time the sex was great, but all the duck would say was.....
NO, The duck didn't say THAT!
The duck said....
'I am a DRAKE, You made a MITHTAKE!! ~~oOo~~
A koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint (as they do!)
When a little lizard walked past, looked up and said, 'Hey Koala! What are you doing?'
The koala said, 'Smoking a joint, come up and have some.'
So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints. After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was 'dry' and that he was going to get a drink from the river.
The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned over too far and fell into the river. A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and helped him to the side.
Then he asked the little lizard, 'What's the matter with you?'
The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he had been sitting with the koala in the tree, smoking a joint, but got too stoned and fell into the river while taking a drink.
The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the rain forest, found the tree where
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the koala was sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said,
'Hey you!' So the koala looked down at him and said,
Bugger Me.... How much water did you drink!?'
~~oOo~~
A salesman drove into a small town where a circus was in progress. A sign read: 'Don't Miss Bruce The Amazing Scotsman'. The salesman bought a ticket and sat down. There, on centre stage, was a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it was an old Scotsman. Suddenly the old man lifted his kilt, whipped out a huge willy and smashed all three walnuts with three mighty swings!
The crowd erupted in applause as the elderly Scot was carried off on the shoulders of the crowd.
Ten years later the salesman visited the same little town and saw a faded poster for the same circus and the same sign 'Don't Miss Bruce The Amazing Scotsman'. He couldn't believe the old guy was still alive, much less still doing his act! He bought a ticket. Again, the centre ring was illuminated.
This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table. The Scotsman stood before them, then suddenly lifted his kilt and shattered the coconuts with three swings of his amazing member. The crowd went wild! Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a meeting with him after the show.
'You're incredible!' he told the Scotsman. 'But I have to know something. You're older now, why switch from walnuts to coconuts
'Well laddie,' said the Scot, 'Ma eyes are nae whit they used tae be.' ~~oOo~~
After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed.
The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process.
After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he had decided to call it a day.
Just then, an armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job. The bishop was incredulous.
'You have no arms !'
'No matter,' said the man. 'Observe !' And he began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment; convinced he had finally found a replacement for Quasimodo.
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But suddenly, as he rushed forward to strike the bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below.
The stunned bishop rushed down two hundred and ninety five church steps, when he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only a moment before.
As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked,
'Bishop, who was this man ?'..
'I don't know his name,' the bishop sadly replied,
' ................... BUT HIS FACE RINGS A BELL'
WAIT ! WAIT ! There's more
The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the bishop continued his interviews for the bell ringer of Notre Dame.
The first man to approach him said, 'Your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor armless wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday.
I pray that you honour his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty.'
The bishop agreed to give the man an audition, and, as the armless man's brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest, twirled around, and died on the spot.
Two monks, hearing the bishop's cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side.
'What has happened ? Who is this man ?' the first monk asked breathlessly.
'I don't know his name,' sighed the distraught bishop, 'but....'
'HE'S A DEAD RINGER FOR HIS BROTHER.'
~~oOo~~
A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Spain ...
While sipping his wine, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table.
Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, 'What is that you just served?'
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The waiter replied, 'Si senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!'
The cowboy said, 'What the heck, bring me an order.'
The waiter replied, 'I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy. The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.
After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, 'These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.'
The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, 'Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull wins."
~~oOo~~
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.
My name is Jeff. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Susie. Since I retired several years ago, it has became necessary for Susie to get a fulltime job along with her parttime job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.
Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some homecooked grub when I hit that door.
She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points. When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the lawn. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Susie. I'm not saying that showing this
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much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.
Sincerely, Jeff
EDITOR'S NOTE:
Jeff died suddenly on March 1 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra long 50inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing and a sledge hammer laying nearby.
His wife Susie was arrested and charged with murder. The allwoman jury took only 15 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defence that Jeff somehow, without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.
~~oOo~~ Phone rings, woman answers. The pervert, with heavy breathing says "I bet you have a tight ass with no hair?" Woman replies, "yes, he's watching TV, who can I say is calling?"
~~oOo~~
DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS 'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the Divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,' 'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.' ___________________________________________
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.' 'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.' ___________________________________________
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.' The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.' ___________________________________________
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?' The agent replies, 'Just a minute.' 'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up. ___________________________________________
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
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'How was he killed?' asked one detective. 'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied. 'A golf gun! What the heck is a golf gun?' 'I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.' ___________________________________________
Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.' Joe: 'Really?' Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell.' ___________________________________________
A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling. 'I'm O.K. But I didn't like the four letterwords the doctor used in surgery,' he answered. 'What did he say,' asked the nurse. 'Oops!' ___________________________________________
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice. 'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an allinone?' 'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.' He's still in intensive care. ___________________________________________
The graveside service just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance... The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there.
~~oOo~~ JOKE OF THE YEAR
Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business.
~~oOo~~ When I was in Phuket recently on holidays, I saw a sign that said,
'English speaking taxi driver'. I thought to myself,
"What a brilliant idea. Why don't we have them in Australia? ~~oOo~~
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