4 Steps in Essay Writing

• Step 1: Begin with a Point (Thesis)

• Step 2: Support Thesis with Specific Evidence

• Step 3: Organize & Connect the Specific Evidence

• Step 4: Revising Sentences

College Writing Skills with ReadingsCollege Writing Skills with Readings

Chapter Five

The Fourth Step in Essay The Fourth Step in Essay WritingWriting

Step 4Step 4Revise and Edit Your WorkRevise and Edit Your Work

• Use parallelism.parallelism.• Use a consistent point of view.consistent point of view.

• Use specific words.specific words.• Use active verbs.active verbs.• Use concise wordsconcise words..

• VaryVary your sentences.

Strategies for revising revising sentences:sentences::

Use ParallelismUse ParallelismBy balancingbalancing the items in a sentence,

you will make the sentence clearer and easier to read.

Ex.: Ex.: My job includes My job includes checking inventory, checking inventory, initialing orders, and to call initialing orders, and to call the suppliers. the suppliers. callingcalling

Use a Consistent Point of View:Use a Consistent Point of View: VerbsVerbs

Do not shift verb tensesverb tenses unnecessarily.

dumpedumpedd

Ex.:Ex.: Jean punched down the risen Jean punched down the risen dough.dough.

Then she dumps it onto the Then she dumps it onto the worktable.worktable.

Use a Consistent Point of View:Use a Consistent Point of View: PronounsPronouns

Do not shift point of viewpoint of view unnecessarily.

Ex.:Ex.: One of the fringe benefits One of the fringe benefits of my job is that you can use a of my job is that you can use a company credit card for company credit card for gasoline.gasoline.

II

Use Specific WordsUse Specific Words

To be an effective writer, you must use specificspecific words rather than generalgeneral words.

General: General: The dog ran down the The dog ran down the street.street.Specific: Specific: The mangy stray loped The mangy stray loped down Broadway, dodging cars and down Broadway, dodging cars and startled pedestrians.startled pedestrians.

Specific SentencesSpecific Sentences

1: Use 1: Use exact namesexact names.. (Not “the boy,” but “Vince.”)

2: Use 2: Use lively verbslively verbs.. (Not “ate,” but “slurped.”)

3: Use 3: Use descriptive wordsdescriptive words.. (Not “the car,” but “the rickety old Buick.”)

4: Use 4: Use sense descriptionssense descriptions.. (“Vince slurped his ice-cold chocolate milkshake while sitting on the squeaking front seat of his rickety old Buick.”)

Use Active VerbsUse Active Verbs

Prefer the active voice.active voice.When the subject receives the action, the verb is in the passive voicepassive voice..The computer was bought by George.

When the subject of a sentence performs the action of the verb, the verb is in the active voiceactive voice..

George bought the computer.

Use Concise WordsUse Concise WordsPrefer concision.concision.

WordinessWordiness -- using more words than necessary -- is often a sign of lazy or careless writing.

In this paper, I am planning to describe the hobby that I enjoy of

collecting old comic books.

Revision: I enjoy collecting old comic books.

Vary Your SentencesVary Your SentencesEffective writingEffective writing is writing that is writing that

is is varied varied and and interesting. interesting. Vary your sentences by:Vary your sentences by:1: Adding a 1: Adding a second complete thoughtsecond complete thought..2: Adding a 2: Adding a dependent thoughtdependent thought..3: Beginning with an 3: Beginning with an opening wordopening word or phrase.phrase.4: Placing 4: Placing adjectives or verbs in a seriesadjectives or verbs in a series..

Adding a Second Complete Adding a Second Complete ThoughtThought

Transform simple sentences (which can be monotonous) --Greg worked on the engine. Greg worked on the engine. The car still wouldn’t start. The car still wouldn’t start.into compound sentences:Greg worked on the engineGreg worked on the engine, , butbut the car still wouldn’t start.the car still wouldn’t start.

Adding a Dependent ThoughtAdding a Dependent Thought

Transform simple sentences (which can be monotonous) --

The library was very quiet. I The library was very quiet. I couldn’t concentrate.couldn’t concentrate.

into complex sentences:AlthoughAlthough the library was very the library was very quiet, I couldn’t concentratequiet, I couldn’t concentrate..

Beginning with an Opening Word or Beginning with an Opening Word or PhrasePhrase

...transforms simple sentences (which can be monotonous) --

Paul was concerned about his Paul was concerned about his daughter’s fever. Paul called a daughter’s fever. Paul called a

doctor.doctor.into varied sentences:

ConcernedConcerned about his daughter’s about his daughter’s fever, Paul called a doctor.fever, Paul called a doctor.

Placing Adjectives or Verbs in a Placing Adjectives or Verbs in a SeriesSeries

...transforms simple sentences (which can be monotonous) --The truck bounced off a guardrail. It

sideswiped a tree. It plunged into the ditch.

into varied sentences:The truck bounced off a guardrail,

sideswiped a tree, and plunged into the ditch.

Editing SentencesEditing Sentences

After revising, check for mistakes in After revising, check for mistakes in grammar, grammar, punctuation, punctuation, mechanics, mechanics, usageusage, and , and spellingspelling..

Edit according to the Edit according to the conventions of conventions of written English, written English, aka aka sentence sentence skills.skills.

ProofreadingProofreading

Check the edited draft of Check the edited draft of your paper for your paper for typostypos and and otherother otherother careless careless errorserrors. .

• Activity 1, p 112

• Activity 3, p 115

• Activity 6, p 120-121

• Activity 12, p 132-133

A unique object in my family’s living room is an ashtray, which I made in second grade. I can still remember the pride I felt when I presented it to my mother. Now, I’m amazed that my parents didn’t hide it away at the back of a shelf; it is a remarkably ugly object. The ashtray is made out of brown clay I had tried to mold into a perfect circle. Unfortunately, my class was only forty-five minutes long. The best I could do was to shape it into a lopsided oval. Its most distinctive feature, though, is the grooves carved into its rim. I had theorized that each groove could hold a cigarette or cigar, so I made at least fifty of them. I somehow failed to consider that the only person who smoked in my family was my father who smoked about five cigars a year. Further, although our living room is decorated in sedate tans and blues, my ashtray is bright purple, my favorite color at the time. For variety, it has stripes around its rim; they are colored neon green. My parents have proudly displayed my little masterpiece on their coffee table for the past ten years. If I ever wonder if my parents love me, I look at that ugly ashtray; the answer is plain to see.