30 Life Lessons I’Ve Learned in 30 Years (Charles Ngo)

30 Life Lessons Ive Learned in 30 Years

The world was a confusing place in my early twenties.

For one, it seemed as if everyone was sure of what they wanted to do with their lives, except me. Second, life didntseem to work the way it was suppose to. Maybe I watched too much TV and movies as a kid, but I was starting torealize the world didnt work the way I thought it did.

So I had to learn the hard way. I made mistakes, I failed, and I kept pushing. Somewhere along the line, I feel like I tookthe red pill, and now I see the world how it truly isthe good and the bad. And instead of running away from it, Imfacing it head on.

Someone emailed me a while back asking what makes me happy. He wanted to know how I could sustain mymotivation year after year. The answer was simple because most of my happiness comes from progress.

Standing still is boring and I cant believe some people peaked in high school. I feel happiness every time I look backon who I was, and who I am now. Ive made progress in every area of my life the past 10 years, and I dont plan onstopping anytime soon. Life is precious and Ill never waste a single day.

I dont pretend to have all the answers. But I know the lessons Ive learned along the way helped me get to where I amtoday. Im sharing my biggest ones because I want you to learn faster than I did.

I spent a long time writing this article; my hands spend 30 days writing this article, but it took my mind 30 years.

1. Dont Compare Your Life to Others

Im not sure what the key to happiness is, but comparing your life to other peoples lives is the key to

December 4, 2014 / by Charles Ngo / Get Free Updates of New Posts Here

converted by Web2PDFConvert.com

Im not sure what the key to happiness is, but comparing your life to other peoples lives is the key tounhappiness.

Were the social media generation, and everyones trying to portray his or her life more exciting than it really is (meincluded). It can get depressing because it looks like everyones kicking ass at life and youre sitting at home eatingCheetos.

Just remember that you dont see the full picture; you just see the side people are showing. The guy who hasthat fancy car is leasing it, and hes in severe debt. That happy couple? Shes sleeping around. The girl who looksperfect? She has had plastic surgery, and her photos are heavily photoshopped.

How can you compete against that?

The only person you should compare yourself to is you. Become better than the person you were last year.

2. Growth Happens at the Edge of Your Comfort Zone

True growth happens when youre feeling uncomfortable.

Do the same thing, and get the same results. If you want to get stronger, you have to slowly increase the amount ofweights youre using.

I see too many people settle for average because, basically, they like being comfortable. Our brain and body aredesigned to be comfortable.

Growth requires you going into the unknown, and that could create a sense of danger. Growing means you have tomake a conscious decision to go against your natural instincts.

I moved to Bangkok a few years ago because I wanted to grow. Id been in Atlanta for 26 years at that point and knewId gotten too comfortable. I moved to Bangkok and it was great, but I already had a huge social circle before I evenstepped foot in the city. I needed to take it to the next level.

I wanted to grow even more, so I decided to move to Vietnam. I didnt speak the language. I didnt know anyone.Within a year, I picked up the language and built a strong social circle. Now I know I can move anywhere in the worldand be fine.

Think about things you fear, and do them. Ive skydived and done standup comedy. Last month, I walked on coals at aTony Robbins seminar. Ive done scary things and survived. It gives me this deep, inner confidence that I can handleanything life throws my way.

3. Numbers Will Tell You the Truth

Its easy for us to lie to ourselves. Whenever I want to improve a part of my life, I keep track of the relevant numbers.


Its easy for us to lie to ourselves. Whenever I want to improve a part of my life, I keep track of the relevant numbers.

Want to save more money? Start a budget, and keep track of your expenses.

Want to change your body? Log your workouts, and keep track of your diet.

Not sure where the times going each day? Use a timelogger app to track your time.

Treat your life like a scientist. Look and analyze at the data.

4. Change How You View Failure

Failure is such an ugly word, isnt it? People think of failures as an indication they are not smart or good enough.

Its ironic because you need to fail to become great.

I dont let failure bring me down because I know its part of the process. I just ask myself what went wrong and how Ican improve.

You wont achieve anything in life if youre scared of failure. Know that no one is keeping score of your failures.Everyone is busy fighting their own battles.

And remember this, you only have to be right once. If you fail a hundred movie auditions but you land a big role in theHollywood blockbuster, youve made it. No one cares about the number of times you failed to get there.

5. Youre not Entitled to Anything in Life

Our parents told us how special and smart we are. Like a character from the movie Fight Club said, we grew upthinking were all going to be rock stars. And then reality hits.

Youve graduated. You have student loan and credit card debt, and youre not making enough money to affordvacations and a nice car. Wasnt life suppose to be amazing?

Well, it can be, but its completely up to you. Youre not born special. You become special.

Sure some people have more advantages than you from birth, but thats not an excuse to not try to become the bestversion of yourself. Be patient and work hard.

6. You Will Have Critics and Haters

To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing. Aristole

I started off as an engineer at Georgia Tech. After two years, I decided to switch to business. Typically, people makefun of you for doing that because it implies youre not smart enough for engineering. In reality, I realized that businesswas my passion.

A few years later, I was ready to quit my job to go into affiliate marketing. I didnt have support from anyone. Whywould you leave a stable job? Cant you do it on the side? people would say.

Well, some of my fellow employees were laid off a few months later, and and I might have been one of them. Theycouldnt understand because they didnt have the same standards I did. I felt like a caged lion.

Some people didnt like me in Atlanta once I started becoming successful. I didnt understand why. I was nice andhelped everyone out. If I see someone else is successful, then it motivates me because one of us made it. But noteveryone feels that way.

People dont hate you because of what you did, but because of how your ambition makes them feel. People arelazy and insecure. Its easier for them to bring others down, than to bring themselves up. They dont like it whenyou raise the bar because they know they cant keep up. When you do amazing shit in your lives, it makes them feel


you raise the bar because they know they cant keep up. When you do amazing shit in your lives, it makes them feelaverage.

What should you do when you have haters? I just ignore them and get to work. If they hate me now, then wait till theysee where Im at in a few years :-).

Most of the time, the ones who resent you are your biggest admirers in denial. Life is harsh, lets have more hugs andless hate.

7. Make Health Your Priority

Its hard to enjoy life if your healths failing. Do what you can to increase your odds of a healthy life.

Here are my ingredients to staying healthy:

Drink lots of water. Take your weight in pounds, and divide it by 2. You need to drink that much in ounces. Forexample, I weigh 165 lbs. 165/2 = 82.5. I drink 82.5 ounces of water each day.

Sleep 7-8 hours each day. On the weekends, I dont set an alarm. Sleeping doesnt mean youre lazy, it meansyoure smart enough to know what your body needs. Your other 16 hours youre awake will be better quality.

Do some kind of physical activity each day. If you dont like the gym, there are plenty of other activities you cando. Dance, Yoga, rockclimbing, MMA, etc. Find an activity you enjoy.

Meditate daily. Train your mind.

Avoid fast foods and processed foods. Get plenty of vegetables in your diet.

Our bodies were not designed for the typical American lifestyle. Were not suppose to sit all day.You spend hours intraffic sitting, you sit at a desk all day, and then you sit at home to watch TV.

Are you a parent? Then you should know your life belongs to them the moment theyre born. How can you be therefor them if you die early because you were too lazy to take care of yourself?

Remember that any progress is still progress. You have no excuses.

8. Master Personal Finance

This is one of the most important skills in life. If money wasnt important, you wouldnt be working 40+ hours a week.

Money doesnt buy happiness, but it buys freedom and opportunity. Money also frees you from the stress, and worriesthat comes with being poor.

They dont teach you personal finance in school (educated customers are bad for business). Theres so much I couldwrite on this subject. My biggest advice for you is to learn everything you can about it. Dont be a slave to money.

Here are three resources to help you master your personal finance.

Read These 3 Books:

1. The Wealthy Barber

2. I Will Teach You to Be Rich

3. Your Money or Your Life

9. Focus on the Process, not the Goal

Ive accomplished a more in the past few years once I became more process-and systems-oriented.

Ill use my attempt to build muscle as an example.converted by Web2PDFConvert.com

Ill use my attempt to build muscle as an example.

I used to be obsessed with hitting my goal weight. It would be demotivating every time I weighed myself, or looked inthe mirror and not see a difference. Eventually, I re-designed my system and came up with the following simple way ofachieving my goal:

I follow a set workout plan

I eat a certain number of calories a day

I drink about 80 oz of water a day

I sleep 8 hours a day

I dont obsess over my weight anymore. I just trust and follow the process. Every time I achieved my daily goals Iwould celebrate the small wins and feel good about myself. It became a game where I didnt care about the score.

What are you trying to accomplish? How can you break it down into a daily system?

Remember that dreams alone wont do anything. Its all about the actions you take each day.

10. You Need to Read More

Books are the best bargains in the world. I can learn what took an author decades to learn in a few hours and at a costof only $10.

Knowledge is a competitive advantage.

Maybe you didnt go to college. Maybe you didnt have a mentor. But theres no excuse for you not to read. Costs toomuch money? Dont forget the local library.

Were also in the age of free information. You can learn coding for free at CodeAcademy. You can learn from MIT.You dont have any excuses.

11. You Can Be Happy Right Now

People always feel as if they need something to complete their lives.

They think that if they only had more money, were in a relationship, or bought that fancy car, their lives would becomplete. I was the same way. I always felt I needed to be rich for all my problems to go away.

Well, I made more money than Id thought was possible, but internally, nothing changed much. I was still at the samelevel of happiness as before.

Now I know that happiness is not a destination. Its something you can have right now, but you have to work at it.

How can you achieve happiness now?

Exercise

Be grateful

Be kind to others

Spend time with people you care about

Spend some time outdoors

Live in the present

Smile more

Spend time with your passion projects and hobbies


Dont chase happiness. Unleash it. Its sitting inside of you right now.

12. Fairness Doesnt Exist

There is nothing neither good or bad, but thinking makes it so Shakespeare

I hate when people complain that lifes not fair, because the concept of fairness is make-believe.Have you noticed that fair only exists when it benefits that person?

I use to think that life wasnt fair. I worked my ass off in college at a gas station and drove a 10 year old car. My friendwas born into a wealthy family. He didnt have to work and drove a brand new Porsche! I thought that was unfair.

I liked this girl in college. I was so nice to her, but she ended up dating a guy who treated her like crap. I thought tomyself, how unfair!

Fairness is bullshit. See the world the way it is and take advantage of it. Most people just sit there and complain aboutthe way the world should be.

Im working my ass off so that I can give my kids all the advantages in the world. Im sure I have dated girls before,who had other guys thinking wow that Charles guy is an asshole. I could treat her better!

The world is not designed to be fair. The world is designed to reward those who master its rules.

13. What Can YOU Do Better?

A friend asked me for advice on finding a job a few years ago. He had an amazing resume and the credentials, but forsome reason, he couldnt find a job.

His default thinking was, The economy sucks.

Well, he couldnt change the economy. What he could change was how he dealt with his situation.

Ive interviewed some people before, so I invited him to come to my office one day to do a mock interview. I wantedhim to treat it like a real interview.

Within the first 5 seconds, I was unimpressed. His over-sized suit looked like it belonged to his dad. He hadnt shavedin a few days and was sporting a neckbeard. His interview skills were terrible. He avoided eye contact and was sociallyawkward.

No wonder he wasnt getting hired! I told him that being good at interviews is just as important as having a goodresume. Instead of blaming outside circumstances, he should have taken a look at himself.

Its easy to blame outside circumstances. Its harder to be self-aware and realize that you may be the problem.

14. You Are Who You Surround Yourself With

The people closest to you have a huge impact on your behavior. This study found that if your best friend becomesobese, you are 57% more likely to become obese as well.

If all your friends do drugs, then youre more likely to do drugs.

Think about the type of person you want to become. You want people who affect you positively. My friends are guyswho are entrepreneurial and love to travel. I make sure I surround myself with people who push me further.

Heres a truth that people dont want to talk about: sometimes youll outgrow your friends. Dont feel like youreobligated to stay in a friendship because youve known that person for a long time. People change. Just as relationshipsend, so do friendships sometimes.


Some people are only meant to be in a few chapters of your book.

15. Overwhelmed? Break Your Problem into Small, Manageable Chunks

We all have huge problems were hiding from. Over time, these problems keep growing until they become monsters tooscary to tame.

Do you have a 10-page essay due in a week? Then just focus on writing one page tonight.Do you have lots of debt? Focus on paying the smallest one off.Need to lose 20 lbs? Nope. Your goal now is to lose the first pound.

Magic happens when you make small progress. That small achievement is what gives you momentum to conquer aproblem of any size.

16. Dont Wait to Travel

Travel can change you for the better.

I lived overseas for three years and have visited over 40 countries.

What have I learned? I dont complain about hard work anymore. There are people out there working 16+ hours a dayin the sun for less than $5 a day.

I also learned how to be self-reliant. I learned that I dont need much to be happy.

And I learned more about history. I saw literally only one paragraph about the Cambodian genocide when I wasstudying in America. Its a different feeling to visit Cambodia and walk in the Killing Fields. History always has twosides.

Traveling is not as expensive as you think it is. Sign up for credit cards that give great travel rewards (ChaseSapphire and Barclays Arrival are good). Certain countries in Southeast Asia, Latin America, and Eastern Europe areaffordable. You can stay in hostels or rent private rooms, couchsurf, or rent private rooms on AIRBNB.

My best advice for traveling is not to wait. The older you get, the more the excuses will pile up.

If theres a will, there is a way.

17. Kill Your Limiting Beliefs

When did this happen?

When we did wake up and start thinking that were not good enough?

I meant to start my blog two years earlier than I did. It happened much later because I didnt think I was a good enoughwriter. I didnt think people wanted to read what I had to say.

You know what is the main difference between the salesman who makes $50,000 a year and the one who earns $500,000a year? Its not their talent or ability. Its what theyll settle for. Its what that think theyre worth.

You can do much, much more than you give yourself credit for. Dont listen to the people who say youre not goodenough. They are wrong, and they are assholes.

Listen to me. If you dont bring the heat starting today, then you are robbing the world of seeing what your potentialis.


18. 85% Is Good Enough

Were too obsessed with tools.

We think that using Tiger Woods golf clubs will magically make us better players. Were hardwired to look forshortcuts. Its just easier to spend money finding the perfect tool than to actually put in the work required to achievemastery.

I have a friend who told me he was trying to lose weight. I asked him about his progress a few weeks later and foundout he hadnt accomplished anything!

I asked him, What happened?!?

Well, Im still trying to figure out the best workout plan and diet. I dont want to make a mistake.

NOT TAKING ANY ACTION IS A MISTAKE.

An average workout program would have given him more results than doing nothing.

Ive seen this problem come up time and again. People want to find a magic bullet to their problems. But the magicbullet doesnt exist!

Just pick a solution thats 85% good enough and get to work.

19. Life IS a Competition

Schools need to stop giving out trophies just for participating because life doesnt work that way.

Life is one, big competition.

Theres only one starting quarterback on a football team. Youre competing against other employees for that promotionat work. Having a wife / husband means youre better than their other options.


at work. Having a wife / husband means youre better than their other options.

You can either pretend this truth doesnt exist, or you can embrace it. The most successful men in the world are alsothe most competitive.

The good news is that its not a winner takes all system. Theres plenty of opportunities to go around in this world. Youjust have to have the balls and heart to go after what you want.

20. Live Below Your Means

I read a statistic that says 55% of American families are living paycheck to paycheck. Ive learned that life isunpredictable and SHIT always happens.

You need new tires, and now youre out $700. Your kid breaks his leg, and thats another $1,000. You get laid offunexpectedly, and now that fancy new car becomes a burden. You have to rely on high-interest credit cards, and nowyoure stuck in a cycle of debt.

My advice is to put 10% of each paycheck into your savings automatically. You cant spend the money if you never seeit.

Heres an interesting realization: its easy to scale your life up, but its hard to scale your life back down. Itsdangerous when luxuries become habits.

Life sucks when you have money problems. I like vacations, fancy restaurants, and nice clothes just as much as you do.But I make sure I take care of my future first, and never spend more than I should.

Dont let your net worth becoming your self-worth.

21. Everything in Life Is a Skill and Can Be Developed

We give too much credit to natural born talent.

We see a great public speaker and think, Wow, what a natural!

What we dont realize is the amount of time she has spent practicing and studying this skill. He could have been ahorrible speaker two years ago, but he has studied and practiced to get to where he is now. It would be insulting to sayhe was born with it because it ignores the hard work he has put in.

Are you an introvert and have trouble meeting new people? Connecting with people is a skill you can develop.

Im not good at Chess. Does that mean Im stupid? No. I just havent played it enough. But I guarantee if I took itseriously for a year I would improve.

I have that mindset about anything in life. You can always improve. Everything in life is a skill.

22. Your Looks Matter in Life

Its been proven that the world favors better-looking people. (Its called the attraction bias). You will get paid more,select better mates, and make better impression on people.

Now, we cant all be Brad Pitts, but its possible to improve what you do have.

I cant become taller, so I dont stress about it. Instead, Ive improved what I was given in life.

When I was 19 years old, I had zero style. I weighed 115 lbs, wore over-sized Tommy Hilfiger shirts, and walkedaround with bad posture. Ive slowly improved myself physically, and I feel great about myself.

Here are some things you can start doing today:


Walk with better posture and body language.

Dress better. This does not mean you have to buy expensive clothes. It means buying clothes that fit properly,knowing basic color theory, and dressing appropriately.

Get in physical shape. Lift some weights.

Follow proper hygiene.

Smile more.

People will make judgements about the way you look whether you want to or not. Might as well make a goodimpression.

23. Just Ask Her Out

There are two types of people in this world: those who wait for things to happen and those who make themhappen.

I met my last few girlfriends by walking up to them and saying hi. Was I nervous each time? Hell, yeah. But Ive learnedthat the rewards are always better than the risks.

Seriously, whats the worst that can happen? A few moments of awkwardness that Ill forget shortly after? Of course Iget rejected sometimes, but I literally forget about it a few minutes later. Looking back, I only remember the wins. I justremember the amazing relationships Ive had that wouldnt have happened if I didnt go after what I want.

The odds are in your favor because you have the confidence to go after what you want. Youre not going to meet girlsby standing against the wall and nursing your Heineken.

Fuck fate. Fuck being patient and waiting for things to happen. Be in charge of your destiny.

24. Dont Die with Regrets

Most men die at 25 we just dont bury them until they are 70. Benjamin Franklin

Take a deep breath.

Close your eyes.

Pretend you are 85 years old and on your death bed. How are you going to look back in your life?

My deepest fear is that feeling of regret. I dont want to be a dying old man and sad because of all the things I didntdo. Thats why I quit my job a few years ago. Thats why I packed my bags and moved to Asia. I just had to try andsee for myself. Whatever happened, at least I didnt wonder what if.


I use my fear to power me. Fear keeps me from being lazy. When its time to die, Ill do it with a smile on my face. Idont fear death because I am living the fuck out of my life right now.

Like Sinatra said,

25. Life is Hard if Youre Stupid

There are people out there much smarter than you and I.

They designed systems to take advantage of people who are uneducated. Thats how they make their money preyingon stupidity.

Lets take money for instance. If you dont understand how money works then youre going to get hit with overdraftfees, interest fees, etc. You might get sucked into payday loans and be in a lifetime of debt.

They have people skipping Thanksgiving dinner to wait in line to buy shit they dont need (Black Friday). You havepeople out there with 6-figure student loans, and cant even get a job after they graduate.

The only way to fight back is to learn. The more I know, the more I realize how little I know. And that scaresme.

A diploma is just a piece of paper. Real learning is what you discover on your own. Between the library and theinternet, theres no excuse not to learn.

26. Create Your Own Luck

People love the concept of luck because it means it could happen to them without them even trying.

I hate the word luck.

People commented how lucky I was when they saw the first signs of my success.

What they didnt see was how hard I worked and bled for what I had.

Is there such a thing as luck? Sure.

But understand this: I dont rely on it. What I like to do is create my own luck by taking positive actions. I stack theodds in my favor.

I routinely go to conferences because it allows me to network with other successful people. If a business deal comesfrom it, was that luck or did I create it? Im always reading books and learning. Knowledge improves my luck.

Take actions that improve your luck.

27. Life Is Less about the Events and More about How You React to Them

You can spot the shitty poker players at any table. Theyre the ones who complain about having bad cards all night.They keep blaming bad luck for their poor performance.

EVERYONE has bad luck in poker. Its called variance. You cant change the cards youre dealt, but you can controlhow you play them.

Your girlfriend breaks up with you. How are you going to react? You can take it as an opportunity to grow andeventually find a better girlfriend. Or you can feel sorry for yourself for the next few years.

It sucks to get fired from a job. But you have to ask yourself, How could have I prevented this?

The lessons you learn today can help you in the future.


The lessons you learn today can help you in the future.

28. Success Requires Sacrifice

You cant have everything in life, playboy.

You have limited time, energy, and resources. You cant work on creating a successful business, yet spend theweekends partying and getting wasted. How can you compete against the guys who live and breathe it? How can yourhalf-ass efforts compete against someone whos willing to die to achieve their goals?

You cant. Most people say they fucking want it, but thats just say. They say it. They just want it, but theyre notwilling to work for it.

What are you willing to give up for your dreams?

I didnt have much resources when I started in my industry. I clipped coupons to save money. I sold my Xbox360 andcooked more at home. The car dealership approved me for a new $40,000 BMW, but I ended up buying a $10,000 carinstead.

Why? Because I choose to make the right decisions for my long-term goals over short-term happiness.

29. Stay Humble

No one likes a person who brags a lot. Its a sign of insecurity. Ive noticed that people in my industry who are cockyhave horrible karma. When youre too cocky, everyone kinda conspires against you.

I choose to help others by giving them a hand and bringing them up.

Theres a quote I like, Act like youve been there before. If a guy flies business class a lot, is he the kind to post apicture of his business class tickets on Facebook? If you got it, you got it. A little mystery goes a long way.

I try to stay humble because Im nowhere near where Id like to be. This attitude keeps me hungry and focused.

30. You Have Less Time Alive than You Think

Most of us think we have all the time in the world. Im guessing the average reader here has another 50 years or so onEarth.

That 50 years is not really a lot of time. One-third of your day is spent sleeping. Another one-third of your day is spentworking. Dont forget to count the time you spend commuting, doing chores, or running errands. You dont have asmuch time left as you think.

Im not trying to make you feel sad, but Im trying to make you realize how precious life is.

What are you spending your time on? I hate the quote Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time. Its because Idont live just for myself. My life is dedicated to helping others.

I want to take care of my parents and my future kids. Are you my friend? Then know Ill do everything I can to helpyou out. The more I fail and learn, the more my readers will improve their lives. I want to start doing more charity workand making some kind of difference in this world.

Thats why I dont ever waste a single day in my life.

ConclusionToday, I am saying good-bye to my twenties.


Im getting older now. Some gray hair is starting to show. I prefer watching Netflix on a Saturday night over going outclubbing. And when I do party, the hangovers last three times as long as they used to.

Im going to show this post to my future kids a few decades from now. On their 20th birthday they are getting a 5,000essay on life lessons. Work hard, dont settle for less, and always keep learning.

I look forward to all the challenges my life will throw at me and all the new lessons Ill learn.

12/3/2014 11:59pm EST

321Clicks Publish. Happy 30th birthday to me.

Facebook

Twitter

Google+

LinkedIn

Enjoy this Post? Don't Miss an UpdateEnter your email address here...

Join Now (It's Free)


ABOUT CHARLES NGOCharles is one of the most well-known and respected internet marketers in the world. Within his first fewmonths of learning affiliate marketing, he was able to turn $4,000 into $1,000,000+ in profit.

Continue Reading

Recent

Comments

New to Mobile Marketing? Here's What's Making...February 28, 2014 - 2:18 pm

Im Turning 30! I Have a Favor to AskDecember 2, 2014 - 3:40 am

Ngo's 10 Step Blueprint For a Profitable CampaignDecember 2, 2013 - 10:03 am

What Goes Through My Mind When I Optimize a CampaignMarch 7, 2014 - 3:04 pm

How a Blog Reader Made $500 a Day Using 4 Learning Hack...October 9, 2014 - 2:06 pm

Popular

Learn How to Be Successful at Affiliate Marketing. You Could Seriously Make Thousands of Profit a Day, Traveling theWorld, and Designing Your Own Lifestyle.

Start Now


Copyright - Affcelerator Share This


Documents

30 Life Lessons I’Ve Learned in 30 Years (Charles Ngo)