2.3

Paper Dissing Upsets Students

We’re Sorry… NAAAT!

Saturday: National Cafe Au Lait Day (coffee on milk???)

Sunday: Drink Too Much Wine Day (not on campus…)

Monday: National Chocolate Mint Day (olive garden has them)

Tuesday: Northern Hemisphere Hoodie-Hoo Day (go outside at

noon wave your hands and chant Hoodie-Hoo)

Wednesday: Card Reading Day

Thursday: National Margarita Day (stop illegal immigration)

Strange Observances (holidays etc…)

Submit your photos at ramdiculous.com

A

A

Ramdiculous Page

Page will have understood this. We at the Ramdiculous Page hope as well,

that nothing we have ever said has been taken so seriously that we would lose support or our target audience. Our intent has been and continues to be just to fuel free thought and press as well as showcase that some students have the initiative and humorous nature to organize and follow through with an idea. If the Ram Page is waiting for an apology from our newspaper in an attempt to mend the barbwire fences we have crawled through, there is not one forthcoming, but we hope that they will finally understand that even though we poke fun at them, like any other ASU student, that we respect their newspaper and the staff.

--Samuel L. Clemens

As I sat down to lunch this last Friday, I was informed of an article in the Ram Page. It was an editorial concerning the Ramdiculous Page and our “blatant attacking” of the Ram Page. We here at the Ramdiculous were accused of “[trying] to incite” turmoil and feelings of ill will. Admittedly, this article in which we were attacked, quite openly, and accused of being backed and, in not so obvious fash-ion, affiliated with a reputable organization on campus, at first, incited a feeling of anger and planted a seed of ill feeling for the Ram Page.

However, the things written about the Ramdiculous Page and its’ staff were, quite honestly, false accusations. The Ramdiculous Page does not receive any backing, as far as official records, from anyone on the campus. Yes, the staff is active in the Baptist Student Ministry and receives nothing but kind words and encouragement, but we never have been nor are we now in anyway an official publication thought up by the BSM. We only have friends within the organization whom support our ideas and newspaper. This article’s content is not, in any way seeking to slander, slight or besmirch the name of the Ram Page, only to clear the air about the article written previously. The editorial was written prior to our last issue coming out to the public and therefore, the Ram Page had no prior knowledge of what we were penning or even that everything had been a well-thought out and cleverly conceived prank on our part. It simply

would have been a courtesy on the part of the Ram Page to actually contact our staff in an effort to understand things fully.

On a separate topic within the same line, the Ram Page certainly could have better understood our publication had they checked some of the things that were said in addition to the accusation of our affilia-tion with the BSM. In example, the Ram-diculous Page has never come out and blatantly attacked the Ram Page in any way. Yes, we poke fun at them lightheart-edly, much like everyone on campus, and it is true that we take pictures from Facebook in an effort to provide interesting blurbs about the students on campus. We only do this to give a glimpse of the personali-ties of the very diverse student body. And honestly, anything posted willingly on the internet that is within a site or blogring is and has always been defined as public domain. This includes any text and/or pictures that are accessible by means of a harmless search. This is something that, as reputable and knowledgeable journalists, the staff of the Ram Page should already know.

Enough of that though, there is no reason to continue, lest we again be ac-cused of attacking the other newspaper on campus. We only do what we feel and things that are in the Ramdiculous Page are all to be taken in stride and with a certain sense of humor and frivolity. That is what we are about, humorous, light-hearted “news.” And hopefully, after actually reading the last issue, the Ram

Angelo State ' s Finest Paper Since Fal l 2006

Included in this issue:

Ram of the Week 2

Movie Review 2

Quote of the Week 3

Weather 3

Street Interviews 3

Fashion 4

Who’s this? 4

Thoughts To Ponder 4

Wasco’s Corner 8

Movies 8

Last Issue’s Answers 5

FOOD!!! 7

Picture of the Week GOOD GRAFITI

By: Holli Perkins

February 16, 2007Feast of Sticky Buns

Volume 2, Issue 3

Cory Morrow

Awkwardness...

When your friend is drunk and he spits water out of his mouth while yelling, “I’m Peeing, I’m Peeing”...

This section of the Ramdiculous Page is for things that make a normal person feel awkward…

Submit your thoughts @ ramdiculous.com

Amy Lutz

Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

RAM OF THE WEEK I'm a senior at An-

gelo State and majoring in Finance. I like hang-ing out with my friends, watching college football and enjoying a nice cold beer.

The film opens with a montage of the dolphins leaving earth (for reasons which will soon become apparent), then segueing into the opening scenes of the first book, wherein our heroes are introduced. Arthur Dent finds his house about to be bulldozed when best friend Ford Prefect arrives with instructions to drink beer and eat peanuts, for the world is about to end. Things degenerate pretty quickly after that, as Ford reveals himself to be an alien, they hitchhike a ride aboard one of the spaceships coming to destroy the earth, get jettisoned into the vacuum of space, and get picked up by another ship, piloted by Galactic President Zaphod Beeblebrox and, coincidentally, Trillian, an earth girl Arthur met at a party before that whole apocalypse business. Eventu-ally, secrets about the earth are revealed that drive the plot toward its finale (which I'll try not to spoil for non-book readers, who probably won't understand a lick of t h i s a n y w a y ) . Fans of the book series will find plenty of familiar elements here, from Vogon poetry to the babel fish to the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster (the universe's most powerful cocktail). Marvin the Paranoid Android is deliciously realized, with enormous head and voice by Alan Rickman, and the ultimate visit to the planet Magrathea is a highlight of the film. The biggest problems with the film come with the liberties that Kirkpatrick has taken with the source material in an attempt to build a more traditional plot structure, intro-ducing to the movie a John Malkovich-played character (Humma Kavula, who Zaphod beat in the presidential elections), who tasks the gang with retrieving a "Point of View Gun" -- a gun which makes the shootee see the shooter's point of view. It's so not funny, and it smacks of trying too hard and comes across as extremely limp versus the rest of the movie, which is generally

faithful to the books. (If you want to be anal about it, Adams did create Kavula in an early draft of the script -- hence his screenplay credit -- but the extent of Kirkpatrick's involvement is unclear.) Expressing my other major complaint -- er, not really a complaint, but a concern -- is tricky, but I'm going to try. Kirkpatrick has obviously read and loved the books, but his desire to get as much of the story across in 2 hours -- and Jennings' history as a commercial and video director -- lends the movie an almost ridiculously scattered feel, as if it's being told in quick bursts -- I daresay, like watching 30 music videos back to back. Now this would normally be a terrible thing, but the random nature and the constant

revisionism in the Hitchhiker'suniverse actually makes it sort-of work. After fretting over missing plot elements, stupid sidetracks, and over-the-top acting from Rockwell, I sat back in my chair and gave up. Hitchhiker's Guide is theater of the absurd, a Buñuel film for the zeroes. Stop worrying about it, and enjoy the spectacle, from Def

and Deschanel's show-stealing performances to the fun sets to the Guide itself, which, in keeping with history, narrates and offers clever asides throughout the film.

This film was spotty at best to those who read the books, but overall does a good job of keeping things moving. Most of the time, you feel nauseated by the random cuts and fast moving screenshots, but it does a good job of staying relatively true to the books. Hitchhiker’s Guide, while not a must see, is a good comedy if you are high.** This film receives a solid, B+ rating.

Above all: Don't panic. --Towndrow P Snood

**The staff of Ramdiculous does not endorse the use of illegal substances.

+Special Note: this review was taken, in part, from FilmCritic.com.

Page 2 Volume 2, Issue 3

THE WEEKLY JOURNAL by: George X. Ferguson

Why?Why put this in the news? Oh wait. I remember. To humor me, which in turn, maybe humors you. maybe. Hopefully. I got nothing. Well here goes the latest edi-tion of the “Stupid News of the Day”.

1) Woman breaks tooth, wants town to pay Associated Press

ABINGTON, Mass. - Trying to get something done at town hall can be a pain, one local woman says for her it was literally. Joanne Harding broke a tooth on a Tootsie Roll she took from a candy jar in the town clerk's office in Abington Town Hall last month during a visit to get a license for her dog. Now, Harding wants the town to help pay her $4,000-$5,000 dental bill."I took the candy, so it's partially my fault," the 40-year-old Harding told the Patriot Ledger of Quincy. "I wouldn't have taken it if it wasn't there."Town Manager Phillip Warren Jr. forwarded Harding's request for financial assistance to the town's insurance carrier. "We'll wait to see what the insurance company says," he said. Meanwhile, the candy jars are still there at the clerk's office. This is just another example of how spoiled we Americans are.

2) Batman wants to sell the Batmobile Associated Press

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. - Batman has been cruising the streets of South Florida, but he's not looking for the Joker. He's trying to sell the Batmobile. Terry Lobzun donned the cape and cowl to generate publicity for an auction of the 1966 TV series replica. He spent Thursday afternoon driving up and down A1A in Fort Lauder-dale, The Miami Herald reported. "The thing about the Batmobile is that it's a cultural icon," Lobzun said. "You just want to let people know about it." This Bat-mobile will be offered up Saturday afternoon at the Florida Collector Car Auction at the Broward County Convention Center, where it's expected to sell for between $100,000 and $200,000. Other replicas in the past have sold in the $100,000 range. The Batmobile being sold Saturday has gadgets like rocket tubes, parachutes and a Bat Ray Protector, but none of them work. If any of you have 100 G’s to spare send some this way at ramdiculous.com. Thanks!

Ramdiculous Page

If infamous was the negative form

of famous, the what would ingenious be?

BSM Activities

Monday: Ignite @ 7:30 PM

Tuesday: Freshman Bible Study @ 7:30 PM

Friday: Logos Lunch, $1 Lunch, @ 12:00 PM

3rd Half, check ad, Page 6

Dacy Briggs the Barry Bonds-like steroided up version of genius

Upcoming Events

Baseball and Basketball Junnell Center

Check RAMPORT

Quote of the Week

“Y’all have 4 TVs?”

Consumables of the Week

Drink: Grape Juice (Wine)

Snack: Corn Dog Nuggets (try LJS)

Make sure you have at least one this week

Tyler Weldon ingenious

would mean stupid

Bryan Heath

Ram Page

Curacao Island, Caribbean

WEATHER:

This Week’s Happenings

Primetime TV


Show Time Channel Day

Psych 9:00 PM 25 US Friday 2/16

Family Guy 8:00 PM 10 FOX Sunday 2/18

How I Met Your Mother 7:00 PM 5CBS Monday 2/19

Rules of Engagement 8:30 PM 5 CBS Monday 2/19

Bam’s Unholy Union 8:30 PM 64 MTV Tuesday 2/20

The Knights of Prosperity 7:30 PM 2 ABC Wednesday 2/21

One Tree Hill 8:00 PM 14 CW Wednesday 2/21

Lost 9:00 PM 2 ABC Wednesday 2/21

The War at Home 7:30 PM 10 FOX Thursday 2/22

Shark 9:00 PM 5 CBS Thursday 2/22

The Sarah Silverman Program 11:00 PM 53 Comedy Thursday 2/22

Ramdiculous Page

DDOO YOUYOU KNOWKNOW WHOWHO THISTHIS ISIS??????

If you do,go to:

ramdiculous.com

Thoughts To Ponder Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

What came first, the fruit or the color or-ange?

Hand That Rocks the Cradle primate that someone had taken for a token? The Ramdiculous Page investigated further in an attempt to assure the public of the truthiness behind this claim. And what we have found is rather startling. The authorities state that the severed digit was a primate hand from our biology department, but do we even have primates in San Angelo? I’ve never seen one, though I’ve seen people who do look and act a lot like apes (especially when attempting to breed). How is it, then, that a primate came to be murdered in San Angelo? One must have a special license to own such exotic animals and therefore the likelihood of an ape being in San Angelo as a pet or even of its’ own accord makes for a very sketchy assumption. This is not to say that it is not possible, but what if the hand was really from a human and the ape story was made up in an effort to quell the panic that would be associated with a maniacal hand stealing murderer? it’s possible that there is a lunatic running amok in our city or even on our campus who is so blood thirsty that they would hack the hand off of someone as a trophy and use the arm as a straw to draw out the juice of life from within the human milkshake they chose.

In all likelihood, something like this could happen, we think, and thus have valiantly tried to find out the truth. In our pursuit, we discovered that our crazy conspiracy theory of a blood thirsty maniac has been substantially ruled out as a possibility and that we made the whole thing up. However, there was a severed ape hand found in the Texan parking lot on Saturday night and that in itself is rather creepy. Who would take an ape hand for the fun of it and throw it around like a football, that just doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to a rational person. And how did the culprits even come to find out where the secret stash of ape appendages was kept? What sort of a sick fetish do you have to have to steal a hand and use it for who knows what purpose? I suppose Tears for Fears was right when they said, “it’s a mad world.”

--Albert Einstein

Undoubtedly, by now, the buzz has been spread around campus about a recent event involving not only the campus police, but the San Angelo Police Department as well. It seems that Saturday night, a suspi-cious looking object was discovered in the parking lot of Texan Hall. Police and other authorities were called in to identify the object and it was deter-mined, after much discussion, that what authorities were looking at was indeed a severed hand.

Many theories were developed as to how this mysterious ap-pendage came to rest in the parking space but none were conclus ive. There was talk of the hand being fake and that someone had either placed it there purposely or simply dropped a prop they were going to use in a prank. Rest assured, the Ramdiculous Page has been diligent in cooperating with authorities to ascertain the truth behind this odd occurrence and have thus been given an insight into the events.

The call was made sometime after dark to the campus police department when a group of students noticed something odd laying in the street. Upon closer inspection, the students discovered that the object was a severed hand and, not as was the immediate thought, the men’s basketball team rolling over for another opponent (Ramdiculous

congratulates the basketball teams on their wins as well and wish it known we were in attendance and fully supportive). As the

students milled around waiting for authorities to arrive and inspect

the scene, word began to spread around campus

quickly (not unlike the social dis-

e a s e s ) . Soon, numer-

ous variations of the story were

f lying around. Some claimed it was

the hand of a student who had gotten into

trouble with the mafia while others said it was only

an ape hand that had been pilfered from the biology depart-

ment. One version was that the hand was from a transient who had

been dared to severe his own hand in the promise of receiving money for

booze.Officially, the statement made to the

Ramdiculous Page was that the hand indeed was that of a primate that was supposedly stolen from the biology department. This story seems more plausible than any other because the authorities also reported having found another similar hand a couple blocks away from campus in the front yard of a house.

But, is this really all that happened? Could it really have only been the hand of a


POETRY CORNER Oh Veronica, how I adore you

How my heart yearns to be near you

How I long to feel you by my side

Your voice is like a harp

A thousand harps, being played just for me

Your hair shines like a thousand stars

Reflecting heaven’s satisfaction

If only your face were not so hideous

Then maybe I could stand to look at you

Oh Veronica

Ramdiculous Page

Ramdiculous will be making weekly appear-

ances on Ram Radio’s “The Bryce & Keith

Show.

LIVE Thursday @ 5:30pm - 7:30pm

www.angelo.edu/services/ramradio

or go to ramdiculous.com and

click on Ram Radio

Slappy the Squirrel from Animaniacs

CHECK US OUT @

LISTEN TO US ON:

Tennessee

Scrambled Eggs

U-Boat

You are out of control

Brainteasers AThese are some brainteasers, if you don’t know what they are go home… the answers will be down there next week...

Eggplant: Portrait of a Killer

The Answers from last week:

that there was nothing to worry about anymore. Greg smiled and then kicked the old lady for mocking him and told the janitor that he should do away with all the eggplants. The janitor said he couldn’t do that and told Greg to leave and never return.

As Greg walked away an-gered and still in a little bit of pain, he slipped on a wet patch of floor. When he fell, Greg hit his head and was instantly knocked into a coma. The para-medics rushed to Greg’s side and soon pronounced him dead.

The moral of the story is don’t mock eggplants, they are a vicious group of vegetables who are highly organized and intelli-gent.

-- Edward R. Murray

There once was a boy named Greg who liked to make fun of purple things. Every day he would skitter off to the gro-cery store and stand in the pro-duce aisle mocking the egg-plants. The things he would say would make the casual passerby cringe or give a sideways glance in disgust. Greg was a very mean boy.

O n e day, while Greg was yelling at the eggplants and telling them that they were all hated by everyone because they were purple and bland in taste, one of the eggplants rolled off the shelf and smacked him in the nose. Greg began to cry because, as a bully, he was really just trying to project his feelings on others and make himself feel more important. The eggplant

lay on the ground looking up at Greg when suddenly it was whisked away by a janitor. The janitor took the eggplant to the eggplant deten-

tion center for assault of a minor. Once there, the eggplant was grilled by the detec-tives and eaten with

a nice veal parmigiana. Meanwhile, Greg was

still milling about the pro-duce crying like a weak little

girl. As he did so, an elderly woman came by and asked him what was wrong. When Greg answered that he was hit in the face with an egg-plant, the old woman could not help but laugh at him. She laughed so hard that she, too, began to cry.

Greg and the old lady both cried and cried, one in pain and one from uproarious laughter, until the janitor came back to check on Greg. The janitor informed Greg that the eggplant had been taken care of and


LONG

DUE

I’M you

knee

light light

chawhowhorge

Ramdiculous Page

If you would like your ad to appear in the

Ramdiculous Page please email us:

[email protected]

An Awkward Love Letter

I really don’t know what you mean, My feelings for you are clear.

Please tell me that you feel it to So I don’t feel so queer.

Please say that you love me, I love you, too.

All I want is you, girl, All my life I’ve hoped for you.

Cause…I think you’re ugly, And that you smell.

You look like dog [poop].

I think you’re skanky, A trashy whore,

That will about cover it.

I love you.

I don’t think you under-stand

What I’m trying to say. Never has the time in my life

Just turned and run away.

You saw the way I look at you But don’t ever say a word.

You listen to everything I say And never hear a word.

After all the dust settled And all the dew is gone.

Before you leave me once more, Stay here for one more dawn. I need to say something to you So please don’t take it wrong.

I think you’re ugly And that you smell,




I try and try to love you You seem to turn me away.

The things I tell you are so true, Straight from my heart today.

I really do love you, So, girl, please will you stay. Don’t ever hurt me like this

Cause all I have to say,

Is.. I think you’re ugly And that you smell.




LOVE AND DRUNKENNESS forget all that fun the next morning). And lastly, both of these come upon you so gradually that you don’t even notice, until finally something hap-pens, and you realize the state you are in—whether that is sitting at home watching Pride and Prejudice on your only night off, or waking up at three in the morning to puke. When it happens, you just know.

—George Orwell

“All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others”

Recently, I have been thinking about the idea of love. Love is a complicated subject with many different aspects, and there are of course many ques-tions concerning the subject such as, “What is love?” “Why do we love?” “How do you know when you’re in love?” or “What do you do when your sister’s ex-boyfriend’s cousin is in love with your mom?” All of which are of course very legitimate (and in some cases quite serious) questions; how-ever, I am only interested in the first one. What exactly is love? I have many times heard

love likened to drunkenness. This answer seems to be quite simple yet remarkably insight-ful. Love and drunkenness. They both cause you to do things you would have never considered in a normal state of mind; both will cause you to express your feelings more freely than anyone really wants; and in both situations, your friends know you’re there long before you do. In both states, you will have more fun than you ever thought possible (though here love is a little better as it does not cause you to promptly

Page 6 Volume 2, Issue 3 Ramdiculous Page

The Third Half

After the basketball game Monday, Feb 19, 2007 From 9 PM to 11 PM Texan Hall Community Room

Come join us for an evening of basketball-related fun! Food and drinks will be served free of charge. There will also be various compe-titions with prizes available. The is open to the public so invite anybody and everybody!

TASTE TESTING Do you want to know where the best places in San Angelo are to eat???

Well you have the right paper once again… Over this semester we will be ranking different dining

establishments based only on taste. Each week we will tell you which establishment has the best food.

If you would like to be included in the Ramdiculous food testing competition drop us an email at [email protected] thanks

On Knickerbocker 947-7100

On Sherwood Way 653-1234

Off Sherwood Way 947-8040

$4.99 All Day Buffet

On Bryant 658-5808

1. Double Dave’s

2. Domino’s

3. CiCi’s

Runner’s Up(alphabetical order)

Little Caesar’s

Pizza Hut

On Avenue N 944-0581

$4.99 Carryout Special

This contest is based on the Ramdiculous Staff’s taste buds. We encourage the reader to try out the different restau-rants on this list. We were not bribed in any way for the outcome of this contest. All results are final. We take no responsibility for any action that results from this story. Food is good and we like it, this is why this story is run. Come back next week for BURGERS…

—RAMDICULOUS PAGE

Ramdiculous Page

Ramdiculous Page

RAMDICULOUS POLICY

Published every Friday and available to students on campus. This newspaper does not express the opinions of any writer, editor, or anyone affiliated with Angelo State University or the Texas State University system or this newspaper. We welcome all letters. Please include your name, position, and an email ad-dress. Letters are subject to laws governing obscenity, libel and privacy. All submissions are considered property of the Ram-diculous Page and will not be returned. Submit your letters via our email, [email protected]. Opinions in any letter or writing are not necessarily those of the staff, nor should any opinion expressed in a public forum be construed as the opinion or policy of the administration.

BABEL 12:45pm 4:10pm 7:40pm

BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA 1:15pm 4:15pm 7:25pm 9:55pm

BREACH 1:20pm 4:05pm 6:55pm 9:35pm

GHOST RIDER 1:10PM 1:45PM 4:00PM 4:30PM 7:00PM

7:45PM 9:45PM 10:20PM

HANNIBAL RISING 1:25pm 4:45pm 7:50pm 10:40pm

SMOKIN' ACES 1:50pm 4:50pm 7:50pm 10:40pm

NORBIT1:00PM 1:30PM 4:00PM 4:30PM 7:00PM

7:30PM 9:40PM 10:20PM

MoviesThat We Want To See

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

let us know…

ramdiculous.com

WASCO’s corner

AANGELO STATE'S FINEST

PAPER SINCE FALL 2006

e-mail: [email protected]

Ramdiculous Staff

Wouldn’t You Like To Know

To Bring *REAL* News to ASU

W E’ R E O N L I N E

www.ramdiculous.com

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2.3