SPRING is here! Yay, I made it through winter without a cold. Hope you did too and that the spring sniffles stay away. Big thank you to friends who supplied me with citrus throughout winter. I’m sure all that Vitamin C helps. Stay well and enjoy life. Our ‘Welcome to Spring’ social is Sat 16 September. Theme is Hawaiian so lots of scope there for photo opportunities and brightening up Tele Pt hall. You’re always welcome to bring any hall decorations for themes as well as your own outfit. Local bargain stores just now have plenty of Hawaiian leis in stock.

Our calendar is still full, with bookings now into 2018. We’ve had some great events and outings since last

newsletter. Our July and August socials are distant memories already, although who could forget all those boots! Your boots will be making a reappearance as part of our Christmas decorations and who knows what else in future. Thank you all for your artistic work.

Long Point Vineyard picnic for Joan E’s 80th was a top day. The weather was sunny, we danced on the decking and shared some yummy food. We were made very welcome by our hosts who did 2 wine tastings for us. Remember Long Point when you’re looking for somewhere to take visitors. As well as a short but picturesque drive, there’s wine tasting and they have beautiful picnic grounds with bbq which you’re welcome to use. Best to book if you have a group. Oh, and the Ghost Road (Houston Mitchell Drive) is now sealed and open all the way, with line marking. Forster workshop in August with Gordon Elliott produced some good dances and the usual fun. Great to catch up with friends, incl Beryl, Terri, Maryellen, Ian, Pearl. There’s plenty of stories to tell and photos, esp on Facebook. Great to see 43 of you are now members of our Facebook group. It doesn’t cost anything. It just means that you can see all our news on Facebook but the general public can’t as we have a ‘closed’ group. As a member, you too can add

any photos or post for us all to see. If you dance with us and are on Facebook, just send request or let me know and I’ll add you to the group. Don’t forget our website www.didenim.com. It’s particularly good for beginners as it has all our history and docu-ments eg Glossary of Linedance Steps and Etiquette. It also has any Breaking News, like cancellations. Our Beginners’ Introductory Course for the five weeks of August has now finished and 10 lovely ‘graduates’ are keen to join our regular classes. I know you’ll make them welcome and

you probably already know some of them. Our next beginner course will be early in 2018. Any newcomers now will be learning the same dances in class as the ‘just finished’ course. As well as 2017 Beginner CD, there is also a DVD and reading material available for home revision. If you have no computer to access these on our website, they are avail-able to newcomers at no cost. You asked! Golden Oldies returns, by request, in the mornings 9.30 till 11.30 am 4th Friday in Sept, Oct and Nov. Cost still $8. I’ll pick up morning tea at bakery on the way so you don’t need to bring a plate. Music will be continuous, with dances an- nounced 3 at a time so if you don’t know or like them you can have your coffee break. There’s no booking for next year yet. Golden Oldies is now in it’s 10th year and can’t continue without your support. But wait, there’s more…. Addition to classes: Social dancing of a ‘Golden Oldies’ favourite will be added to regular intermediate classes. This will be on at end of coffee break before intermediate. If you don’t know the dance, this gives you time to finish your cof-fee. Please keep in mind that this is happening; don’t get on the floor if you haven’t done the dance! There will be no teach of this dance, just 1 maybe 2 wall reminder. Dances might include Oklahoma Wind, That’s Nice, Sway, Sultry, Better Than Leaving, No Matter What, Suds in the Bucket, I Remember, God’s Been Good, San Francisco. Current Dances: Keep your list on Page 2 so you know what’s coming up in class. New dance sheets are available as a courtesy for those who don’t have computers. Others have Copperknob or Aussie Dancesheets and revise watching dances on YouTube, a great tool which has only been available in recent years. Try to find video with the choreographer dancing and you know it’s correct. Once a dance is taught, the walk through in class is one, maybe two walls. Any

more is not fair to regulars. You can’t please everyone, but I try. Fairness is included in our motto..

Issue 104

1 Sept 2017

Di’s Soapbox..

Diamonds ‘n Denim Linedancers - ’Fun, Friendship, Fairness & Unity”

New...

MONDAY Club North Haven .. 1. Beginners 1 - 2 pm 2. Intermediate 2.15 - 3.30 pm TUESDAY Port Macquarie Rotary Hall .. 1. Beginners 12 - 1 pm Easy classics 1.00 -1.30 pm 2. Intermediate 1.45 - 3 pm

SEPT No September birthdays ?? OCT Sue Moore 3 Carolyn Robinson 10 Jim A 11 Sue Letchford 24

Page 2

* SOCIALS 3rd Saturday

(may change if venue not available)

GOLDEN OLDIES 4th Friday

(seasonal)

Join us for afternoon tea

every Tuesday class.

SPOT ON.. Tracie Lee, Sydney LONELY DRUM.. Darren Mitchell, Vic PENNY ARCADE.. Mark Simpkin, Sydney OH GIRL.. Linda Pink, Vic (B) WHO ARE WE? .. Kenneth Shaw, Port Macquarie (UB) GEORGY GIRL.. Gordon Elliott, Syd (B) A SONG FOR MUM.. Gordon Elliott, Syd

Revision... LOVE CAN BUILD A BRIDGE.. Gordon Elliott MORNING SUN.. Gordon Elliott RODEO’S ROSE.. Jan Wyllie

Diamonds ‘n Denim Linedancers - Sep / Oct 2017

TUESDAY’S CLASSICS HALF HOUR Current Play List: COME DANCE WITH ME SPEAK TO THE SKY SMOKEY PLACES MAGIC MOMENTS JESSICO Coming Up Soon: Revision of earlier teaches ..

BLACK COFFEE ROCK AROUND THE CLOCK SILK & SATIN COWBOY CHA CHA

Reteach .. ONE GOOD REASON LOCH LOMOND UNMENDABLE

‘Sleep with a window open tonight’ 1400 mosquitos like that. 420 mosquitos commented on that. 210 mosquitos share this. One mosquito invited for the event. 2800 mosquitos will be attending the event.

* * * Doctor: “Do you do sport?” Patient: “Does sex count?”

Doctor : “Yes” Patient: “Then, no.”

* * *

Doctor: “I’m sorry but you have a terminal illness and have only 10 to live.”

Patient: “What do you mean 10? 10 what? Years? Months? Doctor: “Nine”

Wife to husband: “Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her, why can’t you do the same?” Husband: “Are you mad? I barely know the woman!’

* * * Me and my wife have decided that we don’t want to

have children anymore. So anybody who wants some can leave us their phone number and we will

bring you one. * * *

A man asks a farmer near a paddock “Sorry Sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of go-

ing around it? You see, I have to catch the 4.23 train.” The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. If

my bull sees you though, you’ll even catch the 4.10.

Diamonds ‘n Denim Linedancers - Sep / Oct 2017

Now that I’m older here’s what I’ve discovered.. 1. It’s hard to make a come back when you haven’t been any-

where. 2. The world only beats a path to your door when you are in

the bathroom. 3. It’s not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere. 4. I started with nothing and I still have most of it 5. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran. 6. I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart. 7. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it? 8. It was a lot easier to get older than to get wiser. 9. Some days you’re the top dog, some days you’re the hy-

drant. 10. I really wish the buck would stop with me, I could use a few.

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on a plane. He turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? They say that flights go quicker if you talk to your fellow passenger.” The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “What

would you want to talk about?” “Oh, I don’t know,” said the atheist. ‘How about why there is no God or no Heaven or hell, or no life after death?’ he said smugly. ‘Ok’, she said, ’Interesting topics but let me ask you a question. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat grass, yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty and a horse clumps. Why do you suppose that is?’ The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea”. To which the girl replies, “Soooo, do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven & hell when you don’t know shit?’.. And she went back to reading her book.

Jewish comedians.. Some of us miss the old kind of humour. 1. A car hit an elderly Jewish man. The paramedic says,

“Are you comfortable?” The man says, “I make a good living”.

2. I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

3. I’ve been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife finds out, she’ll kill me!

4. My wife was at a beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great, until the mud fell off.

5. The doctor called saying, “Mrs Cohen, your cheque came back.” Mrs Cohen replied, “So did my arthritis!”

6. A doctor held a stethoscope to a man’s chest. The man asks, “Doc, how do I stand?’ The doctor replies, “That’s what puzzles me.”

7. A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, “You’ve been brought here for drinking.” The drunk says, “Okay, let’s get started.”

8. A Jewish man says that when he was growing up, they always had two choices for dinner—Take it or leave it.

9. Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be report-ing it. The thief spends less than my wife did.

10. We hold hands when shopping. If I let go, she shops.

#%@

Page 3

didenim1@bigpond.com There were heaps more great jokes, but some too long to print .

ife.

DI ANDREWS

Phone:

H 02 6581 0898 M 0418 636278

Email:

didenim1@bigpond.com Web:

www.didenim.com Find us on Facebook

SAT 16 SEPT Telegraph Point social 12-4 pm. Hawaiian / Spring theme. Plate please.

FRI 22 SEP 9.30-11.30 am Continuous dancing! Morning tea provided, NO plate needed. SAT 30 SEPT Kempsey social 12-4 Kundabung hall. Programme in class. Plate for lunch. SAT 7 OCT Maitland Muster, workshop and socials. Telarah Bowling Club. Details on desk or ask. SAT 14 OCT Fundanz social with Barbara, Port Rotary hall 12-4 pm (no social at Tele Pt in Oct) FRI 27 OCT 9.30-11.30 am Golden Oldies, as above. SAT 18 NOV Telegraph Point social 12-4 pm. No theme. FRI 24 NOV 9.30–11.30 am Golden Oldies, as above. SUN 3 DEC Club North Haven Christmas party / social, ie SUNDAY night. More next issue.

Page 4

Diamonds ‘n Denim Linedancers - Sep / Oct 2017

MORE DOCTORS.. Patient: Doctor, I‘m just so nervous. This is my first operation. Doctor: Don’t worry. Mine too. Doctor: Hello, did you come to see me with an eye problem”?”

Patient: Wow, yes, how did you know?” Doctor: Because you came in through the window instead of the door. Mr Smith: “Doctor, you remember this strengthening solution your prescribed me yesterday?” Doctor: “Yes, what’s the matter?” Mr Smith: “I would like to use it but I can’t open the bottle!”

WHAT HAVE YOU GOT? POST your best Linedance photos

to our FACEBOOK GROUP. You don’t have to ask my permis-sion and only our members can see

them. New photos or old, all good. It’s courtesy to ask others though before post their photos.

NB: Reminder.. any photos or videos of our events might end up on Facebook. Let me know if you don’t want yours posted.