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First Unitarian Church 605 Morewood Avenue Pittsburgh, PA 15213

412/621-8008 www.first-unitarian-pgh.org

www.facebook.com/firstunitarianpittsburgh

CONNECT + INSPIRE + SERVE

MEMORIAL SERVICES AT THE FIRST UNITARIAN CHURCH OF PITTSBURGH

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There are seven principles which Unitarian Universalist congregations affirm and promote:

• The inherent worth and dignity of every person;• Justice, equity and compassion in human relations;• Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our

congregations;• A free and responsible search for truth and meaning;• The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our

congregations and in society at large;• The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all;• Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.

Unitarian Universalism draws from many sources:

• Direct experience of that transcending mystery and wonder, affirmed in allcultures, which moves us to a renewal of the spirit and an openness to the forceswhich create and uphold life;

• Words and deeds of prophetic women and men which challenge us to confrontpowers and structures of evil with justice, compassion, and the transformingpower of love;

• Wisdom from the world's religions which inspires us in our ethical and spirituallife;

• Jewish and Christian teachings which call us to respond to God's love by lovingour neighbors as ourselves;

• Humanist teachings which counsel us to heed the guidance of reason and theresults of science, and warn us against idolatries of the mind and spirit;

• Spiritual teachings of earth-centered traditions which celebrate the sacred circle oflife and instruct us to live in harmony with the rhythms of nature.

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Introduction

We offer you our deepest sympathy for your loss. We hope that this will be a time of remembrance and thanksgiving for you and your family.

Planning a memorial service can be both challenging and rewarding. We will do our best to help make the memorial service for your loved one as meaningful and appropriate as possible.

We hope that this document will answer many of your questions and provide guidance with your planning process. Of course, we encourage you to talk in person with a church staff member whenever that would be helpful.

Contact Information for Church Staff Members

Rita Gates, Business Manager: rgates@first-unitarian-pgh.org 412/621-8008, x 101 Barb Gengler, Program Assistant:bgengler@first-unitarian-pgh.org 412/621-8008, x 107 Rev. David Herndon, Senior Minister: dherndon@first-unitarian-pgh.org 412/621-8008, x 102 Rev. Robin Landerman Zucker, Assistant Minister: flowingforce@verizon.net 412/727-6870 Bill Larson, Organist and Pianist: wwlarson@verizon.net 412/621-8985

Table of Contents

Working With a Funeral Home Choosing a Date Making Arrangements with a Minister Unitarian Universalist Ministers in the Greater Pittsburgh Area The Order of Service Making Arrangements for Music Our Church Building Reserving Space at First Unitarian Church Memorial Contributions to First Unitarian Church The Memorial Garden at First Unitarian Church Books about Death That You Might Find Helpful The Funeral Consumers Alliance of Western Pennsylvania Directions to First Unitarian Church

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Working with a Funeral Home

Funeral homes offer assistance with such details as death certificates, transportation and preparation of the body, obituary notices in the newspaper, caskets, flowers, and arrangements with local cemeteries for burial or cremation. Funeral homes generally have comfortable facilities for visitation hours when you may gather with family and friends. Because you may be driving back and forth several times for meetings and visitation times, one important consideration in choosing a funeral home is the distance or driving time from your home. You may wish to have a funeral service (with the presence of the body and the casket) or a memorial service (without the presence of the body and the casket). You may choose to have a funeral or memorial service at either the funeral home or at First Unitarian Church. Sometimes another appropriate location is also possible. The Funeral Consumers Alliance of Western Pennsylvania is a non-profit organization which offers assistance in making simple, dignified, low-cost funeral arrangements. You may also wish to visit their website: http://www.funerals.org/westernpa or contact them by mail: P.O. Box 8974, Pittsburgh, PA 15221-0974. , (412) 241-0705,

Choosing a Date A funeral service (with the presence of the body and the casket) needs to be held within a few days of death. If you choose to have a memorial service (without the presence of the body and the casket), you may hold the service within a few days of death, but you may also hold the service several weeks or even several months after the death. A later date may allow for more convenient travel schedules for people from out of town, or for any other preparation.

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Making Arrangements with a Minister

Our Senior Minister, Rev. David Herndon, and our Assistant Minister, Rev. Robin Landerman Zucker, can usually be flexible in setting a date and time for a memorial service. Rev. Zucker works with families who are not part of First Unitarian Church. If neither Rev. Herndon nor Rev. Zucker are available, other Unitarian Universalist ministers in the greater Pittsburgh area may be able to conduct the service. Please see the list below. The minister who works with you and your family will want to meet with you to discuss the details of the service and to gather information for a eulogy. The Unitarian Universalist Ministers’ Association has established standard honorarium guidelines for Unitarian Universalist ministers. For memorial and funeral services, the standard honorarium is $300 if the minister composes a eulogy, or $250 if the minister does not compose a eulogy. There is an additional $50 fee if the minister presides at a graveside service that follows the memorial or funeral service. However, for memorial or funeral services for people who are contributing members or friends of First Unitarian Church, the honorarium is optional. Please make your check payable directly to the minister.

Unitarian Universalist Ministers in the Greater Pittsburgh Area

Rev. David Herndon First Unitarian Church of Pittsburgh 412/621-8008 ext. 102 (church) 412/243-6518 (home) 412/551-8857 (cell) Rev. Robin Landerman Zucker First Unitarian Church of Pittsburgh 412/727-6870 (office) 978/505-7245 (cell) Rev. David McFarland Allegheny Unitarian Universalist Church 412/322-4261 (church) 412/867-1250 (cell) Rev. Renee Waun East Suburban Unitarian Universalist Church 412/731-2834 (home) Rev. Scott Rudolph Unitarian Universalist Church of the North Hills 412/366-0244 (church)

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412/737-0852 (cell)

The Order of Service Included here is a typical Order of Service for either a funeral service or a memorial service. The Hymns are optional, depending on the number of people expected at the service and the musical preferences of those organizing the service. The Tributes, typically composed in advance, may be delivered by any combination of family and friends; an appropriate number of tributes would be anything up to about six. A graveside service taking place after a memorial or funeral service would typically consist of three of four short readings.

Prelude Welcome and Call to Worship Opening Hymn Readings Reflection or Prayer or Responsive Reading Silence Music Tributes Informal Tributes Eulogy Closing Hymn Benediction Postlude

Some appropriate hymns are: Morning Has Broken, #38; Blessed Spirit of My Life, #86; Spirit of Life, #123; Precious Lord, Take My Hand, #199; Amazing Grace, #205; A Promise through the Ages Rings, #344; Come Sing a Song with Me, #346; We Laugh, We Cry, #354; Here We Have Gathered, #360 Some appropriate responsive readings are: We Need One Another, #468; We Remember Them, #720

Making Arrangements for Music If you choose to have the ceremony at First Unitarian Church, please call William Larson, our Organist and Pianist, at 412/661-8985. He will either provide music himself, or assist you in making arrangements for a qualified substitute or other musician of your choice. The Pittsburgh Chapter of the American Guild of Organists has established standard fee guidelines for church musicians in Pittsburgh. For funeral services and memorial services, the standard fee is $200. Please make your check payable directly to the musician.

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Our Church Building

Most memorial services at First Unitarian Church take place in the Sanctuary, a Norman Gothic structure with a wood-beamed ceiling and extensive carved woodwork. The Sanctuary, built in 1904, has a wide center aisle and holds about three hundred (300) people. Three large stained glass windows illuminate the Sanctuary. There is ample street parking close to the church. You may wish to set aside parking spaces on Morewood Avenue, outside the main entrance, for special vehicles. First Unitarian Church is fully handicapped-accessible. We encourage anyone who might have difficulty with the steps to use the Garden Lobby entrance, which can be reached from the small parking lot off Morewood Avenue. The Garden Lobby has an elevator which provides access to all three levels of the church. Accessible restrooms are located directly below the Garden Lobby. A reception following a memorial or funeral service provides you an opportunity to greet those who have attended the service, and it provides an opportunity for those attending to engage in conversation with one another. At First Unitarian Church, receptions usually take place in the Undercroft Gallery, the Schweitzer Room, or the Garden. A full-service kitchen adjoins the Undercroft Gallery; this kitchen can serve as a preparation area for a caterer. Please call the church office at (412) 621-8008 and speak with the office staff about reserving space. Normal church office hours are Tuesday through Friday, 9:30 AM to 4:30 PM.

Reserving Church Space at First Unitarian Church If you choose to have a memorial or funeral service at First Unitarian Church, please call the church office at 412/621-8008 and speak with Business Manager Rita Gates or Program Assistant Marlee Keffer about reserving space. Normal church office hours are Tuesday through Friday, 9:30 AM to 4:30 PM. The standard rental fee for use of the Sanctuary for a memorial or funeral service is $350. This includes use of the Semple Room and the Garden, if they have not been previously scheduled. There is no rental charge for contributing members and friends of the church. Please make checks payable to “First Unitarian Church.” The standard rental fee for use of the Undercroft Gallery for a reception of approximately four hours is $250. This includes use of the Undercroft Kitchen. There is no rental charge for contributing members and friends of the church. Please make checks payable to “First Unitarian Church.” In addition to space rental fees, there is a charge of $15 per hour for a security person for all memorial services, funeral services, and receptions that take place during non-business hours. Please make checks payable to “First Unitarian Church.”

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Memorial Contributions to First Unitarian Church

First Unitarian Church gratefully welcomes memorial contributions to honor a loved one who has died. Memorial contributions may be directed to:

The Memorial Fund which supports the operating budget of the church The General Endowment which supports the capital budget and the operating budget of the church The Social Justice Endowment The Music Endowment The Campus Ministry Endowment The Endowment for Ministry with Children and Youth

Memorial contributions may also be directed toward the purchase of hymnbooks with identifying bookplates. Please speak with our minister, Rev. David Herndon, if you have questions about any of these possibilities.

The Memorial Garden at First Unitarian Church

A section of the Bradley Garden, directly behind the Schweitzer Room at First Unitarian Church, has been designated as a Memorial Garden. The ivy-covered plot bordering on the flagstone terrace is available to members of the church and their immediate families for the interment of ashes. A bronze tablet on the church building adjacent to the garden contains individual bronze plates bearing the names and dates of birth and death for each person whose ashes are interred in the Memorial Garden. The fee for interment of ashes and fabrication of a bronze memorial plate is $500 per person. This fee includes a contribution toward the perpetual care and maintenance of the garden. To receive more information, to speak with a member of the Memorial Garden Committee, or to request an application form, please call the Church Office at 412/621-8008.

Books about Death That You Might Find Helpful For adults: Grollman, Earl. Living When A Loved One Has Died. Kushner, Harold. When Bad Things Happen to Good People. Murry, William. A Faith for All Seasons. Nuland, Sherwin. How We Die.

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Perry, Gail and Perry, Jill. A Rumor of Angels. For children: Buscaglia, Leo. The Fall of Freddie the Leaf. De Saint-Exupery, Antoine. The Little Prince. Paterson, Katherine. Bridge to Terabithia. White, E. B. Charlotte’s Web. Williams, Margery. The Velveteen Rabbit.

The Funeral Consumers Alliance of Western Pennsylvania Funeral Consumer Alliance of Western Pennsylvania is a non-profit, non-sectarian membership organization established to help individuals and families who believe in simple, dignified and economical funeral arrangements plan appropriately for death. The Funeral Consumers Alliance of Western Pennsylvania encourages planning by registration between members and participating funeral directors for cremation, simple burial, and other services desired by the member. At the time of death, a family member or representative notifies the funeral director of the member’s choice, and services are performed in accordance with the wishes of the deceased. The Funeral Consumers Alliance of Western Pennsylvania also:

Provides information for those who wish to donate their bodies or specific organs after death to help the living or the advancement of medical science. Publishes a semi-annual newsletter for members with information on Society functions and news of relevant legislative action and activities of the national organization and other member societies. Makes available to local civic and social organizations speakers on topics related to funeral practices and planning. Promotes the availability of alternatives to conventional funeral arrangements and vehicles for enduring memorials that contribute to the well-being of the living.

For more information, please call 412/241-0705 or visit their website: http://www.funerals.org/westernpa

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Directions to First Unitarian Church

IN PITTSBURGH: Heading East on Forbes Ave., pass the Cathedral of Learning (University of Pittsburgh) and The Carnegie (museum). Cross a short bridge and at the 2nd traffic light, turn left from Forbes onto Morewood Avenue. Go 2 more lights to First Church. Parking is along the streets. Use the Ellsworth Avenue entrance to the church. FROM THE NORTH: Take I-79 S to I-279 (after Wexford interchange); bear left onto I-279 and follow into Pittsburgh. With the skyscrapers in view, stay right and watch for I-579; bear right onto I-579 (up the double-lane ramp — DO NOT TAKE THE EAST ST. EXIT before it) and cross the Allegheny River. Stay in one of the two left lanes past the 6th Ave, and 7th Ave. exits. Get into the far right lane (OAKLAND); this will loop around and merge into the Blvd. of the Allies. Stay on the Blvd. For about 3 miles until AFTER you pass the Monroeville and I-376 exit. LOOK CAREFULLY, and take the very next off-ramp (it’s easy to miss) onto Forbes Ave. (If you miss it, you can continue on and make a left on Halket St. and a right onto Forbes.) See IN PITTSBURGH. FROM THE EAST: Take PA Turnpike (I-76) to Monroeville exit. Then I-376 to Oakland Exit. Take ramp up hill on Bates. Bates ends at Bouquet St. Turn left on Bouquet, take Bouquet to Forbes Ave. Turn right on Forbes and see IN PITTSBURGH. FROM THE WEST: Take I-70 to I-79 North. See FROM THE SOUTH. FROM THE SOUTH: Take I-79 N, EXIT 14 to Pittsburgh, I-279. As you come out of the Fort Pitt Tunnel onto the bridge, stay in one of the 2 right lanes and exit right right to I-376, Monroeville (the Parkway East). Go approximately 3 miles, get into the far right laned follow it up the ramp to Oakland-Forbes Ave. See IN PITTSBURGH. FROM ROUTE 28: 28 N to EXIT 6 (Highland Park Bridge /Aspinwall). BEAR LEFT to cross bridge, and watch for merging traffic! Cross bridge in the left lane, exit to left on 8 South (Washington Boulevard). Turn right at first traffic light onto Washington Boulevard (8 South). Travel through 5 traffic lights on Washington Boulevard, past the Driver’s License Center. Cross Penn Avenue at 5th traffic light, and travel 3.9 miles. Turn right onto Morewood Avenue, and travel to the 2nd traffic light. First Unitarian Church is on the right. Street parking.