January 22, 2013 Volume 97 Issue 31

STUDENT PRINTZThe

SERVING SOUTHERN MISS SINCE 1927

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INDEXCalendar ........................ 2Sudoku ........................... 2News .............................. 3Arts & Entertainment......4Feature ............................5Opinion ............................6Sports ..............................7

INAUGURATION

Page 6

Tuesday

57/33Wednesday

65/43Thursday

72/54Page 3 Page 8

MANTI TE’0COKE WEATHER

A University of Southern Mis-sissippi English professor known for his humor, thoughtfulness and eccentricities died Friday of heart failure. A memorial service is planned for Saturday to com-memorate his 27 years of service to USM. He was 60.

Kenneth Watson, a British Romanticism professor, taught numerous undergraduate and graduate courses, including World Literature and Literary Criticism.

“His students will always re-member his kindness, and no one will ever forget his brilliance,” said senior English major Cade Varnado, who took several un-dergraduate courses with Watson and worked with him on his Hon-ors thesis. “He was teeming with knowledge, literary and otherwise, and he did everything he could to grant his students access to it. No one ever le� his class not feeling like they had been exposed to the wisdom of the ages.”

Watson earned degrees from Kenyon College and the Univer-sity of Vermont in Burlington and completed his doctorate in English

with a specialization in Romantic poetry from Duke University be-

fore joining the USM English de-partment in 1986.

In addition to his academic achievements, Varnado remem-bers Watson for his character.

“Dr. Watson’s most legendary at-tributes were his many quirks—his refusal to give up smoking even when he had bronchitis, his ap-proval of in-class cursing so long as it pertained to the Nazis, the way the � oor in his o� ce was al-ways completely covered in papers while his desk remained bare,” Varnado said.

According to Martina Sciolino, an English professor and aca-demic adviser, Watson made an

impact on Southern Miss faculty as well as students.

“Ken Watson was witty, sar-donic, had depths of perspective that still surprised me a� er twenty years of knowing him, was truly loving, deeply non judgmental and hilarious,” Sciolino said. “� ere was nothing he could do that didn’t appear elegant—truly a gentleman of the old school who would ex-tend his friendship to anyone. He could move e� ortlessly from the sacred to the profane, the satirical to the sublime, the beautiful to the bawdy without a seam. He had the

Beloved English professor dies at 60ON CAMPUS

Hannah JonesManaging Editor

After an internal investiga-tion, a federal auditor told Fed-eral Emergency Management Agency officials they should de-mand the University of South-ern Mississippi return $5.3 million of Hurricane Katrina recovery construction money, citing a misuse of funds.

The Department of Home-land Security’s inspector gen-eral reviewed funds the campus received for rebuilding USM’s Gulf Park campus in Long Beach. The Gulf Park campus received $41.1 million follow-ing Hurricane Katrina, and the inspector general reviewed $12.2 million of those funds.

Local FEMA officials claim they will evaluate the auditor’s report and work with USM to resolve the issues.

The auditor said university

officials did not have sufficient records for almost $1 million of allocated funds, such as timing-and-materials spending, allowed USM to receive money that ex-ceeded insurance claims and re-ceived duplicate grant funding.

While the vice president of the Gulf Park campus, Frances Lucas, said $3.85 million was mostly spent properly, $1.44 million should be returned since it was never spent. That specific money was replaced by a grant, and USM has yet to spend it since receiving it in 2005.

“We do agree with the audit that a million-four ($1.4M) of that is indeed money that should not come to us because it was replaced by a grant,” Lu-cas said during an interview with WHLT of Hattiesburg.

Lucas said that all the spend-ing was approved by both the Mississippi Emergency Man-agement Agency (MEMA) and FEMA.

The report also states that

USM did not properly hire its contractors to complete the project. When a government entity, such as a public univer-sity, receives funding for proj-ects, they must bid out a con-tract to engineering services or companies.

Following Hurricane Katrina, the university paid for the con-tractor’s time and materials in-stead of taking bids, so the audi-tor concluded USM improperly awarded a $2.4 million contract for permanent and temporary repairs and a $453,000 contract for architectural and engineer-ing services.

“There was absolutely no way under the sun to run a bid pro-cess,” Lucas told The Sun Her-ald. “You had to hire whoever you could find that you thought was good to come in and do time and materials. In a situation like this [post-Hurricane Katrina], exceptions have to be made.”

Audit fi nds misuse of $5.3 million in post-Katrina funds

GULF COAST

Tyler HillNews Editor

BASKETBALL

Sophomore guard Chip Armelin shoots on a UAB opponent during the game in Reed Green Coliseum on Saturday. The Eagles topped the Blazers, improving to 15-4 overall and 4-0 in Conference USA. The win marked the Eagles’ seventh straight win and 22nd straight home win as well as set a new school record of 10 straight conference wins.

Jamie Gominger/Printz

Kenneth Watson

See WATSON, 3

See BUDGET, 3

CalendarPage 2, Student Printz Tuesday, January 22, 2013

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Mark Your Planner22 23 24 25 26

10 a.m. NAACP Membership DriveUnion Lobby

6 p.m. Men of Excellence InductionTCC 216

Happy Saturday!10 a.m. NAACP Membership DriveUnion Lobby

10 a.m. The Southern Yearbook SalesTCC Atrium

4:45 p.m. Gamma Rho Chi Interest MeetingUnion Room H

5:30 p.m. NAACP General MeetingJoseph Green Hall

10 a.m. NAACP Membership DriveUnion Lobby

11:45 a.m.USM Wesley Foundation - Free Lunch ThursdayWesley Building

7 p.m.NPHC Meet the GreeksTCC Ballrooms I & II

7 p.m.R.U.F. Large Group Bible StudiesStout Hall Room B

11:45 a.m.Thursday Lunch at Wesley Wesley Building

7 p.m.MADE in America Union Hall of Honors

10:30 a.m. Wellness Ambassadors Health TopicsUnion Lobby

11 a.m. The Southern Yearbook SalesTCC Atrium

1:30 p.m. Eagle Connection ToursTCC 216

4:45 p.m.Gamma Rho Chi Interest MeetingUnion Room H

5 p.m. Legacy Night at The Power HouseThe Power House

5:15 p.m.NPHC Back To School SocialUnion Lobby Plaza

SOLUTION TO LAST WEEK’S PUZZLE

Complete the gridso each row, column and 3-by-3 box(in bold borders)contains everydigit, 1 to 9. For strategies onhow to solveSudoku, visitwww.sudoku.org.uk

© 2013 The Mepham Group. Distributed by Tribune Media Services. All rights reserved.

2/17/13

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18 days till Mardi Gras break!

News Student Printz, Page 3Tuesday, January 22, 2013

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President Barack Obama is sworn in for a second term as the President of the United States by Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts during his public inauguration ceremony at the U.S. Capitol in Washington, D.C. on Monday. Michelle Obama holds the Bible.

MCT Campus

NATIONAL

BUDGET, from 1

WATSON, from 1

LOCAL

Indie garage rock band The Whigs perform at Benny’s Boom Boom Room on Wednesday before beginning their nationwide tour, which kicked off in Baton Rouge, La. on Monday.

Lenore Seal/Printz

The contract lasted 11 months, according to the audi-tor’s report. It also states that, generally, federal rules limit time-and-materials to three days following a storm, de-pending on certain factors.

Lucas said there was no prop-er way to select contractors through a bidding process due to the nature of the storm and its aftermath.

“Full and open competition increases the probability of rea-sonable pricing from the most quali� ed contractors and helps discourage and prevent favoritism, collusion, fraud, waste and abuse,” the inspector general wrote.

FEMA had 90 days to decide whether to demand the $5.3 million to be returned as of the first week in December.

language and the vision for all hu-man experience, and he shared it tirelessly.”

Watson was also known for his accomplishments in the � eld of poetry, serving as the associate ed-itor of “� e Southern Quarterly,” co-editor of “� e Past Is Not Dead: Essays from the Southern Quar-terly” and essayist of many pub-

lished works on Romantic poetry.“In the time since his passing,

I’ve found myself returning to a piece of Stevenson poem he recited in one of his classes, Varnado said. “He committed it to memory. He would recite: ‘Home is the sailor, home from the sea/And the hunter is home from the hill.’ It brings me great comfort to remember those

words, and his smile.”� e memorial service for Wat-

son is scheduled for Saturday at 2 p.m. at a location yet to be deter-mined. Information regarding ser-vices will be available at www.usm.edu/english. Donations for a me-morial fund may be made through the English Department. For more information, call 601-266-4319.

Arts & Entertainment Tuesday, January 22, 2013Page 4, Student Printz

American Idol is back for its 12th season on Fox, and its two-hour, two-night premiere definite-ly kept this viewer entertained.

Idol now has a panel of four judges, as opposed to the three they have had in the previous 11 seasons, with Randy Jack-son as the only original judge left. Added to the panel is best-selling female artist of all time Mariah Carey, four-time Grammy award winner Keith Urban and Billboard’s 2011 Ris-ing Star Nicki Minaj. This panel of judges is diverse and adds to

the variety of the competition. Wednesday was the first night

of the premiere and showed au-ditions in New York City. Only 41 people received the coveted Hollywood golden ticket.

One memorable audition was Ashlee Feliciano, a 21 year old with a low-register and large family. Her parents have three biological children and have since adopted four children with medical complexities. Ashlee’s family got to sit in on her audition, hearing all four judges say “yes” and sending her to Hollywood.

Shira Gavrielov, 23-year-old singer/songwriter and Israel native, wowed the judges with her performance of “Valerie” and left the audition with a ticket to Hollywood.

Thursday was the second night of the premiere. A few sing-ers had the judges in tears. Kez

Ban, an amateur fire performer, stole the show with her genuine qualities and soulful voice. Cur-tis Finch Jr., a 24-year-old tutor, had Nicki Minaj really enjoying his song, as she kept her eyes shut and felt his performance. Arguably, the most memorable audition was that of 21-year-old Cuba native Lazaro Arbos. He introduced himself slowly due to a stutter he has had since age six. When Mariah Carey asked if it was “something he was working on,” he responded with, “It’s a roller coaster.” For his audition, Arbos sang Simon and Garfun-kel’s “Bridge Over Troubled Wa-ter,” a favorite of all four judges. While singing, his stutter was gone, and his voice was abso-lutely stunning. Unanimously, he was sent to Hollywood, along with Kez, Curtis, and 44 others to round out Chicago auditions.

Both Wednesday and Thurs-

day’s shows did have one thing in common – Minaj hitting on just about every man who

walked through the door and the undeniable tension between Mariah and Nicki. There have been reports of the two dis-agreeing on set, and the sar-casm and fake smiles towards one another did not go unno-ticed. During one singer’s au-dition, Mariah made the com-ment, “You and I are Cinderella and Nicki is the evil stepsister.” Nicki later suggested to one singer that their range was “Bet-ter than Mariah’s, and she has the best range in the world!”

If you’re not watching for the talent or the feuding celebrity divas, you are more than likely watching for Keith Urban and his sexy accent. He has a spirited presence and balances the judg-es panel. Randy Jackson is, of course, full of “yo”s and “dawg”s this season as well. If you missed the premiere, don’t wor-ry; you can go back and view all of Ryan Seacrest’s tweets. They are pretty much a play-by-play of both episodes. The recap can be seen on AmericanIdol.com. Tune in every Wednesday and Thursday night to keep up with those competing to be the next American Idol.

American Idol returns with promising talentrevIew

Kristy ShelleyPrintz Writer

This was an article of opinion by Kristy Shelley, a writer for The Student Printz. Email questions or comments to kristy.shelley@eagles.usm.edu.

Randy Jackson, Mariah Carey, Ryan Seacrest, Nicki Minaj and Keith Urban pose for a picture. Jackson, Carey, Minaj and Urban are the four judges for the popular show in its 12th season on Fox.

MCT Campus

Feature Student Printz, Page 5Tuesday, January 22, 2013

The Islamic Center of Hattiesburg supports local Muslim community

LOCAL

In a town of more than 45,000 citizens, The Islamic Center of Hattiesburg supports a local Muslim community that con-sists of roughly 200 people.

Members’ professions range from medical doctors to pro-fessors and students, and some travel upwards of 45 miles to at-tend services at the center.

According to member and Mississippi native Mustafa Ali, the center’s collective member-ship does not fit the mold of a particular stereotype.

“All generations and all ethnic backgrounds are represented,” said Mustafa Ali. “A Muslim is a Muslim.”

The center, which was found-ed in 2004, is open daily to ac-commodate the prayer times of the five obligatory prayers of the Islamic faith known as Fajr, Zhuhr, Asr, Magrib and Isha.

The center is also open for a weekly Friday service known as Jama’ah. According to Mustafa Ali, between 25 and 100 people typically attend Jama’ah.

William Carey University medical student and Houston native Ali said that he can pray anywhere but also stressed the importance of the center.

“It makes it a lot easier to have this community center here,” said Ali. “It gives us a chance to meet some of these other guys here, so it builds community.”

University of Southern Mis-sissippi graduate student and Saudi Arabia native Fahad Alo-layan also touched on the com-munity center’s importance.

“I’m really glad that we have this community, and without this mosque, I can’t pray on Friday because this is just dif-ferent,” said Alolayan. “We can pray at home, but it’s better to be together.”

In addition to providing re-ligious services, the center also offers educational opportuni-ties. Children in first through

sixth grades are taught the Ara-bic language during weekly Sat-urday school services. Classes that study the Holy Qur’an are also available for all age groups.

“It’s more than praying,” said Alolayan when asked about the educational opportunities at the center. “They learn Islam.”

Despite the various opportuni-ties o� ered by the center, mem-bers expressed little concern re-garding their abilities to practice their faiths when today’s fast-paced society keeps them from being present at the mosque.

“I always try to find ways to [pray],” said USM graduate and Nigeria native Faisal Mallum. “I still need to find ways to come pray because it’s obligatory and I need to do that.”

Ali tempered the same notion.“I would be able to practice even

if there was no one here,” said Ali. “I could pray at home, or I could pray on the street, wherever.”

Alolayan mentioned that he prays outside if he needs to, and people are generally receptive towards his faith.

“In general people are re-spectable,” said Alolayan. “I don’t remember anyone trying to stop me or even talk to me badly or anything.”

The notion that people in the Bible Belt are tolerant towards members of non-Christian faiths is certainly one that chal-lenges the status quo, but Ali thinks the conservative nature of the region complements the Islamic faith well.

“The Bible Belt is somewhat conservative compared to other areas of the country, but Islam is actually somewhat conservative as well,” said Ali.

Although members feel well received by the Hattiesburg community, Ali admits that Is-lam is depicted in a biased light in today’s media.

“When people think of Islam they think about Iran or Osama bin Laden,” said Ali. “But what they won’t think about is charity

or helping orphans or feeding the poor, which are major ten-ants of our faith.”

When asked what people un-informed about Islamic faith should know, members stressed the importance of knowledge.

“You should start trying to ask questions to learn,” said Mal-lum. “Study history, study Islam

and the principles and what they actually entail.”

Ali o� ered a similar suggestion.“I would want them to come

sit with a Muslim,” said Ali. “We can pass it to you verbally, we can show it to you in writing, there’s no secret. The only secret is that you have to come here and believe in one God.”

Islam accompanies Christian-ity and Judaism as one of three Abrahamic religions, so its ori-gins are closer to home than the media would typically lead the public to believe.

The Islamic Center of Hat-tiesburg is located on North 25th Avenue and is open seven days a week.

Je� rey HaegerPrintz Writer

Emerson Drive performs at a free concert on Pride Field on Jan. 19. The event preceeded the Golden Eagles’ basketball game against the University of Alabama at Birmingham.

April Garon/Printz

ON CAMPUS

Opinion Tuesday, January 22, 2013Page 6, Student Printz

Student Shout-outs

To see your anonymous comment in � e Student Printz, submit it under the ‘Contact’ tab on

studentprintz.com.

”

“I wish President Obama had as much enthusiasm for spending control as he does for gun control.

I usually don’t get into poli-tics with ignorant conserva-tives - but the fact that you think that Obama is pushing an agenda about gun control for his benefi t, sickens me.

Loved kicking some UAB butt in basketball! Keep it up boys - lets go all the way!

To the researchers in Star-bucks on Thursday after-noon devaluing professions that don’t directly involve research: y’all suck.

We need a Redbox on cam-pus! That way I can be lazier and Redbox will get more of my money. Who’s with me?

“Let’s let our students starve for a couple weeks before dispersing loans on February 1.” - USM’s brilliant fi nancial aid offi ce

Hey guys, I want to invite you all to the Southern Christian Student Center right across from the Village for Monday night dinner and devotional (short Bible study). It’s com-pletely free, and it starts at 6:30 PM. We’d love to see you there!

If you believe in no gun con-trol, then you can add your name to the list of bigots that believed in slavery! #MS SUCKS!!!

Had so much fun with Em-erson Drive Saturday!! USM needs to do more stuff like that! #SMTTT

Dr. Watson, you will be missed. You inspired us all.

Brace yourself: Valentine’s day sob stories are coming.

Harbaugh brother on broth-er battle in the SuperBowl this year! Who’s read? Go Ravens!

OMG I love to shout out! Thanks for having a shout out column!

Coke’s new ad campaign: Drink your way to obesity

NATIONAL

Coca-Cola came out with a new campaign last week that � nally addresses the connection be-tween sugary sodas and obesity. A two-minute ad titled “Come To-gether” highlights that obesity is a problem in our country. � e com-mercial claims that it is a problem that we as a nation must � nd a so-lution to, and the company claims to be part of that solution.

In reality, Coca-Cola and the rest of the soda industry are one of the main contributors to obe-sity in this country.

It is easy to see through the glossy marketing campaign strat-egies. Coke is assigning blame not to themselves, but to consumers. � e narrator of “Come Together” claims that “all calories count, no matter where they come from, including Coca-Cola and every-thing else with calories. If you eat and drink more calories than you burn o� , you’ll gain weight.”

� is is just plain condescend-ing and belittling to the public. I don’t need a beverage company to explain to me how daily ca-loric intake works.

It is easy to see Coke’s true in-tention: to confuse the public. It is ridiculously easy to consume hundreds of calories in just liq-uid form if you are not mindful of what you are drinking. All of those extra calories on top of food intake adds up to a path toward obesity or at least dampening ef-forts to lose weight or get � t.

If they remove the blame from themselves, it opens the possibil-

ity for the misinformed public to doubt the truth that sodas are re-ally bad for you.

Another ad, “Be OK”, shows di� erent “playful” ways of burn-ing the amount of calories in a 12 oz can of Coke. One is to “let your dog be your GPS for 20 minutes”.

� is sets up the idea that the only issue here is that people need to exercise to burn o� the calories from Coke products so they won’t be obese. However, that is just one aspect of the problem.

Coke points out the 180 low calorie or calorie free beverages they sell for those looking for healthy options. While Coke is quick to hail their calorie free drinks as a healthy option, the arti� cial sweeteners in the drinks may actually be worse than drink-ing the version full of sugar (or high fructose corn syrup, which is another part of the issue).

� ere have been several medi-cal studies that strongly suggest a correlation between obesity and arti� cial sweeteners.

A 2012 scienti� c study at the

University of California - San Di-ego and San Diego State Universi-ty on the brain’s reaction to sugar and arti� cial sweeteners found that regular consumption of arti-� cial sweeteners may make your brain numb to real sugar, which fosters overeating.

A University of Texas study from 2005 followed soda drinkers for eight years. � e study found a “41 percent increase in risk of be-ing overweight for every can or bottle of diet so� drink a person consumes each day”.

Maybe Coke is right when they say we should all come together to find a solution for obesity. The first step, in fact, may be to stop listening to their propaganda and drinking their chemical laden drinks. Let’s think (and drink) for ourselves.

April GaronPrintz Writer

� is was an article of opinion by April Garon, a writer for the Stu-dent Printz. Email questions or comments to april.garon@eagles.usm.edu.

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Sports Student Printz, Page 7Tuesday, January 22, 2013

GROWING OUR OWN PRIMARY CARE PHYSICIANS

RURAL PHYSICIANSSCHOLARSHIP PROGRAM

FOR

SOPHOMORES AND JUNIORS

http://mrpsp.umc.edu

Upcoming Games:

Southern Miss Box Score:

Men’s Basketball01/19 vs. UAB W, 74-59

Women’s Basketball01/17 vs. SMU L, 79-69 01/20 at UCF W, 62-57

Men’s Tennis01/19 vs. LSU L, 6-1

Southern Miss Sports

01/23/136 p.m. Men’s Basketball vs. MarshallHattiesburg, Miss.

01/24/137 p.m. Women’s Basketball at HoustonHouston, Texas

On the same day in which the 1987 Southern Miss NIT Cham-pionship team was commemo-rated at Reed Green Coliseum, the Golden Eagles defeated the Blazers handily 74-59. Southern Miss has now won seven contests in a row, extending its home win-ning streak to 22 games, good for � � h best in the nation.

� e Golden Eagles struggled to � nd their shot early, and they quickly fell behind 11-18 a� er UAB’s Terrance Jones knocked down three consecutive three-pointers. � e battle-tested Eagles refused to go away quietly, as they responded with an 18-2 run and entered hal� ime leading by 11. UAB cut the de� cit to eight points early in the second half, but the Eagles extended their

lead to as much as 22 later in the frame, putting the game well out of reach for the Blazers.

� e o� ensive onslaught was a result of the problems posed by Southern Miss’s stout 2-3 zone defense and full court press. Both facets of the Eagles’ defen-sive game plan kept the Blazers from � nding a rhythm through-out the game’s entirety, as the Eagles converted 20 Blazer turn-overs into 21 points at the o� en-sive end. UAB only scored � ve points o� eight Eagle turnovers, and collected two steals in com-parison to Southern Miss’s 15. Southern Miss guard Neil Wat-son led the transition attack with a game-high four steals.

“You got to love the crowd when that’s happening,” said Southern Miss guard Cedric Jen-kins of the crowd’s in� uence on their defensive intensity. “One

de� ection here, one steal there and a lay up can turn into one of those runs, all because of the crowd. Getting excited, cheering us on and rooting for us; it makes you want to go, it gives you the extra boost you need, you’re not tired anymore, you’re just push-ing. Great crowd.”

� e Eagles proved to be too deep for the Blazers, as four play-ers (Jenkins, Dwayne Davis, Wat-son and Jonathan Mills) scored in double � gures and nine play-ers contributed to the 74-point e� ort. � e Golden Eagles got a huge li� from their bench play, as they won the battle in bench-scoring 28-11.

According to senior forward Jonathan Mills, the win can be at-tributed to a sel� ess team e� ort.

“We are a very unselfish team,” Mills said. “We look for our other teammates to score. Sometimes I think we’re too unselfish. So that’s a key to win-ning, being unselfish and know-ing your teammates.”

� e unsel� sh play of the Eagles has them alone atop C-USA with a conference mark of 4-0 and an overall record of 15-4. Accord-ing to Southern Miss head coach Donnie Tyndall, the Eagles are ex-ceeding preseason expectations.

“Guys are tough and gritty and it’s overcoming a lot of the obsta-cles or lack or experience or chal-lenges that we’ve been thrown,” said Tyndall. “I heard Mills say he wants to credit the coaches, but it’s really just the opposite. � ese guys have bought in and they’ve worked extremely hard.”

� e Golden Eagles conclude

their two-game home stand when they welcome the visiting � undering Herd on Wednesday

at 6 p.m. Marshall is 9-9 overall with a conference mark of 2-1.

Golden Eagles dispatch conference foe BlazersBASKETBALL

Je� rey HaegerPrintz Writer

01/25/131 p.m. Men’s Tennis vs. Jacksonville StateHattiesburg, Miss.

1 p.m. Women’s Tennis vs. Jacksonville StateHattiesburg, Miss.

01/26/133:05 p.m. Men’s Basketball at TulsaTulsa, Okla.

Senior forward Jonathan Mills shoots over a UAB defender during the home game at Reed Green Coliseum on Saturday, Jan. 19.

Jamie Gominger/Printz

Sports Tuesday, January 22, 2013Page 8, Student Printz

NIGHT OF WORSHIPFIRST HATTIESBURG

4142 LINCOLN ROAD HATTIESBURGWEDNESDAY JANUARY 23 2013 7PM

After the month Manti Te’o has had, he is probably just ready for February to get here, but, then again, he will not be able to celebrate Valentine’s Day with his girlfriend?

The former Notre Dame line-backer has had a rough few weeks. First was the humiliating loss to Alabama in the National Championship game, a game in which Te’o recorded only three solo tackles and seemed a step slow all game long. The next mishap is the strangest.

Te’o has apparently fallen vic-tim to an online hoax in which several people acted as Lennay Kekua— Te’os online girlfriend who regularly communicated with him through e-mail, text and phone calls. The relation-ship ended when Kekua passed away after losing her battle with cancer. When the national me-dia—specifically, Deadspin.com— caught wind of the hoax, the story went viral.

If you’re like me, you have doubts about how much of a “hoax” this was. The whole sto-

ry seems odd. Why did they date for so long and never see each other? Could you date someone for the length of time they dated and never see them in person? According to the Notre Dame athletic director, Te’o found out he was a victim on Dec. 26. Why not address the issue then, in-stead of waiting until the media caught wind of it?

A few of Te’o’s former team-mates have even admitted that they always suspected it was a publicity stunt and that Te’o was in on the “hoax” all along.

The whole story makes ev-eryone wish he would pull a Lance Armstrong and admit he did it already.

Nonetheless, the scandal has produced some entertaining jokes. Look no further than Twitter. The following are just a few of the jokes that are guaran-teed to make you laugh:

@RollTide: Manti Te’o wasn’t missing tackles in the National Championship, he was hugging his girlfriend.

@JadaveonClowney: If you having girl problems I feel bad for you son Manti Teo has 99 problems but a girl ain’t one.

@DanMacEachern: Manti

Te’o might see his draft prospects drop but he should probably be No. 1 in the fantasy draft.

@PeytonsHead: Has anyone ever seen Manti Teo’s girlfriend and Brian Kelly in the same room?

While social media has provided plenty of laughter, some profes-sional sports teams are joining in on the humor.

The Dallas Stars of the National Hockey League showed a pic-ture of an empty seat on the jumbotron at a recent game. The caption of the picture said, “Manti Te’o’s Girl-friend - Welcome to the game!” The team also tweeted about the event, saying, “Our cameras at AAC are sharp! They just caught Manti Te’o’s girlfriend in section 125 on the jumbotron!”

Probably the funniest of the lot is Florence Freedom mi-nor league baseball organiza-tion, which is planning to host a “Manti Te’o girlfriend bobble head night”. The fans will re-

ceive a box with nothing in it. The team also plans on having a section of the stadium blocked off for fans to enjoy the game with their imaginary friends, girlfriends/boyfriends or spous-es. The team is also hosting an air guitar contest as well as an imaginary food fight.

Thank you, Manti Te’o. Thank you for showing America that not only was your girlfriend fake, but so is your ability to stop the run. Now that this is out in the open, we can all focus on Lance Armstrong’s confes-sions to Oprah.

Te’o girlfriend hoax just keeps getting betterNATIONAL

Kyle SmithSports Editor

Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o (5) fi ghts his emotions as he leaves the fi eld after a 42-14 loss against Alabama in the BCS National Championship game at Sun Life Stadium on Jan. 7 in Miami Gardens, Fla.

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