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Standards and Testing Agency – Key Stage 2 Writing exemplification 2013
Standards and Testing Agency – Key Stage 2 Writing exemplification 2013 1
2013 Key Stage 2 English Writing moderation
Exemplification materials for teacher assessment
Level 6 (annotated)
STA-KS2-WriteMod-An-L6.indd 1 18/03/2013 10:59
Standards and Testing Agency – Key Stage 2 Writing exemplification 2013 2
Standards and Testing Agency – Key Stage 2 Writing exemplification 2013 2
STA Key Stage 2 Writing teacher assessment 2013 - Level 6 exemplification.
This document is part of a suite of exemplification for Key Stage 2 Writing teacher assessment which covers Level 2 to Level 6.
2013 Key Stage 2 Writing guidance and the full range of exemplification materials are on the Department for Education website at www.education.gov.uk/KS2.
Purpose of the Exemplification materials Key Stage 2 Writing teacher assessment (levels 2 – 6) is statutory for 2013. These materials exemplify the national standards for Key Stage 2 Writing at levels 2 – 6. At each level, a collection of one child’s writing is annotated to show how the evidence, as a whole, can be judged in line with national standards. How the materials should be used Teachers should use this exemplification for standardisation, as a point of reference when making their own level judgements, and / or agreeing levels during the moderation process. Local authorities will also find this exemplification useful when training teachers and local authority moderation teams as the materials contain examples, with and without annotations. This document contains the assessment focuses and the revised criteria to support statutory assessment, together with the National Curriculum level descriptions upon which they are based. If you have any queries regarding the arrangements for Key Stage 2 Writing or this document, please contact [email protected].
STA-KS2-WriteMod-An-L6.indd 2 18/03/2013 10:59
Standards and Testing Agency – Key Stage 2 Writing exemplification 2013 3
Assessment strands For the purpose of assessing the collections of writing, related assessment focuses have been drawn together into three strands: ■ sentence structure and punctuation ■ text structure and organisation ■ composition and effect. Assessment focuses ■ sentence structure and punctuation
- vary sentences for clarity, purpose and effect - write with technical accuracy of syntax and
punctuation in phrases, clauses and sentences
■ text structure and organisation
- organise and present whole texts effectively - sequence and structure information, ideas and
events - construct paragraphs and use cohesion within
and between paragraphs
■ composition and effect
- write imaginative, interesting and thoughtful
texts - produce texts which are appropriate to task,
reader and purpose
The criteria encourage positive recognition of achievement in writing. Children do not necessarily develop uniformly across these categories, and the strands allow candidates to consider the relative strengths and weaknesses of a child’s work. When making an overall level judgement, candidates should consider the ‘best fit’ for each collection of writing, taking all of the strands into consideration.
When assessing spelling and handwriting, reference should be made to the National Curriculum level descriptions. When assessing a collection of work, spelling and handwriting should be considered and used to refine judgements but should not be given such weight as to change or define the overall level judgement.
STA-KS2-WriteMod-An-L6.indd 3 18/03/2013 10:59
Standards and Testing Agency – Key Stage 2 Writing exemplification 2013 4
Engl
ish
Writ
ing
Leve
ls 2
- 4 ~
Rev
ised
Crit
eria
to s
uppo
rt s
tatu
tory
ass
essm
ent
Ass
essm
ent
focu
ses
Le
vel 2
Le
vel 3
Le
vel 4
SEN
TEN
CE
STR
UC
TUR
E A
ND
PU
NC
TUA
TIO
N
AF5
V
ary
sent
ence
s fo
r cla
rity,
pu
rpos
e &
effe
ct
AF6
W
rite
with
tech
nica
l ac
cura
cy o
f syn
tax
and
punc
tuat
ion
in p
hras
es,
clau
ses
and
sent
ence
s
P
rimar
ily s
impl
e an
d co
mpo
und
sent
ence
s w
orki
ng to
war
ds g
ram
mat
ical
ac
cura
cy.
S
ente
nces
ofte
n br
ief,
star
ting
with
sim
ple
subj
ect/v
erb
(I sa
t, D
ad w
ent).
M
ay in
clud
e so
me
sim
ple
varia
tion
in s
truct
ure,
e.g
. thr
ough
use
of
adve
rbs
/ sim
ple
noun
phr
ases
(Tod
ay w
as e
xciti
ng...
Yes
terd
ay w
e w
ent..
.red
shoe
s.).
Cla
uses
mos
tly jo
ined
with
and
, but
, so.
Pas
t and
pre
sent
tens
e ge
nera
lly c
onsi
sten
t.
Sen
tenc
es s
omet
imes
dem
arca
ted
by c
apita
l let
ters
and
full
stop
s. S
ome
use
of q
uest
ion
and
excl
amat
ion
mar
ks a
nd c
omm
as in
a li
st.
C
laus
es m
ostly
link
ed w
ith s
impl
e co
nnec
tives
and
, but
, so.
May
incl
ude
com
plex
sen
tenc
es. U
se o
f whe
n, b
ecau
se o
r if m
ay b
e re
petit
ive.
Sub
ject
s an
d ve
rbs
ofte
n si
mpl
e an
d fre
quen
tly re
peat
ed (W
e pl
ayed
, do
gs a
re).
Tens
e ch
oice
gen
eral
ly c
onsi
sten
t and
app
ropr
iate
to ta
sk in
clud
ing
som
e us
e of
mod
als
(can
, will
).
S
ome
sent
ence
var
iatio
n cr
eate
d, e
.g. d
irect
spe
ech;
sim
ple
adve
rbia
ls
(we
play
ed a
fter t
ea...
it w
as s
cary
in th
e tu
nnel
).
N
oun
phra
ses
mos
tly s
impl
e (m
y lu
nch)
with
som
e lim
ited
expa
nsio
n (d
ark
dung
eon)
.
Full
stop
s, c
apita
l let
ters
, exc
lam
atio
n m
arks
and
que
stio
n m
arks
m
ostly
acc
urat
e; c
omm
as u
sed
in li
sts.
Som
e us
e of
spe
ech
punc
tuat
ion.
S
ente
nces
are
mos
tly g
ram
mat
ical
ly s
ound
, e.g
. cor
rect
sub
ject
/ver
b ag
reem
ent;
secu
rity
of te
nse
and
pers
on; c
orre
ct u
se o
f sub
ordi
natio
n.
S
ome
varia
tion
in s
ente
nce
stru
ctur
e th
roug
h a
rang
e of
ope
ning
s, e
.g.
adve
rbia
ls (s
ome
time
late
r, as
we
ran,
onc
e w
e ha
d ar
rived
...),
subj
ect
refe
renc
e (th
ey, t
he b
oys,
our
gan
g...)
, spe
ech.
Som
e va
riety
in s
ubor
dina
ting
conn
ectiv
es, e
.g. b
ecau
se, i
f, w
hich
(b
ecau
se th
e ra
in c
an d
amag
e th
eir s
kin.
..whi
ch w
as s
trang
e...I
f she
co
uld.
..).
Te
nse
choi
ce a
ppro
pria
te w
ith v
erb
form
s va
ried
and
gene
rally
acc
urat
e,
incl
udin
g th
e us
e of
mod
als
to e
xpre
ss p
redi
ctio
n, p
ossi
bilit
y,
perm
issi
on, e
.g. s
houl
d, m
ight
, cou
ld.
S
impl
e m
odifi
ers
may
cre
ate
shad
es o
f mea
ning
, e.g
. to
inte
nsify
or
emph
asis
e (v
ery
larg
e, q
uite
slo
wly
).
Mos
t sen
tenc
es c
orre
ctly
dem
arca
ted,
e.g
. som
e co
mm
as m
ark
phra
ses
or c
laus
es; a
post
roph
es m
ark
cont
ract
ions
. If u
sed,
inve
rted
com
mas
de
mar
cate
the
begi
nnin
g an
d en
d of
dire
ct s
peec
h, c
orre
ctly
on
mos
t oc
casi
ons.
TEXT
ST
RU
CTU
RE
AN
D
OR
GA
NIS
ATI
ON
A
F3
Org
anis
e an
d pr
esen
t who
le
text
s ef
fect
ivel
y, s
eque
ncin
g an
d st
ruct
urin
g in
form
atio
n,
idea
s an
d ev
ents
A
F4
Con
stru
ct p
arag
raph
s an
d us
e co
hesi
on w
ithin
and
be
twee
n pa
ragr
aphs
A
sim
ple
open
ing
or e
ndin
g (O
nce
upon
a ti
me.
..Yes
terd
ay w
e m
ade
cake
s...D
ear S
anta
...A
t the
end
we
wen
t hom
e...)
.
Som
e at
tem
pt to
org
anis
e an
d gr
oup
rela
ted
idea
s to
geth
er.
S
ome
atte
mpt
to s
eque
nce
idea
s or
eve
nts,
e.g
. by
use
of ti
me
rela
ted
wor
ds; n
umbe
red
poin
ts; h
eadi
ngs,
line
bre
aks;
use
of p
ictu
res.
Rel
ated
sen
tenc
es li
nked
by
pron
ouns
or s
impl
e tim
e co
nnec
tives
(The
n th
ey c
limbe
d...S
he p
icke
d th
e flo
wer
...N
ext y
ou s
tir it
...).
A
brie
f int
rodu
ctio
n (o
peni
ng) a
nd /
or e
ndin
g us
ually
sig
nalle
d.
S
impl
e te
xt s
truct
ure
with
an
atte
mpt
to o
rgan
ise
rela
ted
idea
s in
se
ctio
ns o
r par
agra
phs.
Som
e at
tem
pt to
seq
uenc
e id
eas
logi
cally
.
Sim
ple
adve
rbia
ls /
pron
ouns
may
link
sen
tenc
es, s
ectio
ns o
r pa
ragr
aphs
(whe
n w
e go
t the
re, a
fter t
hat).
Som
e lin
king
of i
deas
/ ev
ents
– fl
ow m
ay b
e di
sjoi
nted
or a
brup
t.
A
n ap
prop
riate
ope
ning
and
clo
sing
, whi
ch m
ay b
e lin
ked.
Org
anis
atio
n th
roug
h se
quen
cing
or l
ogic
al tr
ansi
tion,
e.g
. sim
ple
chro
nolo
gica
l sta
ges;
idea
s gr
oupe
d by
rela
ted
poin
ts; s
ubhe
adin
gs.
R
elat
ed e
vent
s or
idea
s or
gani
sed
into
par
agra
phs
or s
ectio
ns to
su
ppor
t the
con
tent
of t
he w
ritin
g in
diff
eren
t tex
t typ
es.
C
onne
ctio
ns w
ithin
and
bet
wee
n pa
ragr
aphs
gen
eral
ly m
aint
aine
d th
roug
h us
e of
ong
oing
refe
renc
es, e
.g. p
rono
uns,
adv
erbi
als,
co
nnec
tives
(Eve
ntua
lly w
e...)
.
Link
s es
tabl
ishe
d be
twee
n pa
ragr
aphs
, alth
ough
tran
sitio
ns m
ay b
e aw
kwar
d or
abr
upt.
Par
agra
phs
or s
ectio
ns m
ay b
e ex
tend
ed a
nd d
evel
oped
, usu
ally
ar
ound
a to
pic,
mai
n po
int,
even
t or i
dea,
e.g
. with
exp
lana
tion,
con
trast
, ad
ditio
nal d
etai
l.
C
OM
POSI
TIO
N
AN
D E
FFEC
T A
F1
Writ
e im
agin
ativ
e,
inte
rest
ing
and
thou
ghtfu
l te
xts
AF2
P
rodu
ce te
xts
whi
ch a
re
appr
opria
te to
task
, rea
der
and
purp
ose
AF7
S
elec
t app
ropr
iate
and
ef
fect
ive
voca
bula
ry
S
ome
awar
enes
s of
pur
pose
with
idea
s an
d co
nten
t gen
eral
ly re
leva
nt to
th
e ta
sk, e
.g. i
nfor
mat
ive
poin
ts in
a re
port;
mem
orie
s in
a re
coun
t; se
quen
ce o
f eve
nts
in a
sto
ry -
poss
ibly
repe
titiv
e or
spa
rse
with
lim
ited
awar
enes
s of
the
read
er.
V
iew
poin
t may
be
indi
cate
d by
sim
ple
com
men
ts o
r act
ions
(The
teac
her
was
nic
e...a
pple
s ar
e go
od fo
r you
...).
S
ome
deta
il in
clud
ed th
roug
h ad
vent
urou
s w
ord
choi
ce a
ppro
pria
te to
ta
sk (a
big
, hai
ry c
ater
pilla
r...M
r. Jo
nes
look
ed c
ross
...be
ars
are
fierc
e...)
.
S
ome
awar
enes
s of
pur
pose
thro
ugh
sele
ctio
n of
rele
vant
con
tent
and
an
atte
mpt
to in
tere
st th
e re
ader
.
Feat
ures
of w
ritin
g ge
nera
lly a
ppro
pria
te to
the
sele
cted
task
, e.g
. use
of
dia
logu
e in
a s
tory
; use
of f
irst p
erso
n fo
r a le
tter;
use
of im
pera
tive
in in
stru
ctio
ns.
C
onte
nt m
ay b
e im
bala
nced
, e.g
. led
pre
dom
inan
tly b
y di
alog
ue.
V
iew
poin
t (op
inio
n, a
ttitu
de, p
ositi
on) i
s ex
pres
sed,
but
may
not
be
mai
ntai
ned.
Som
e de
tail
/ des
crip
tion
of e
vent
s or
idea
s ex
pand
ed th
roug
h vo
cabu
lary
(sim
ple
adve
rbs,
adj
ectiv
es) o
r exp
lana
tion.
Som
e vo
cabu
lary
sel
ecte
d fo
r effe
ct o
r app
ropr
iate
ness
to ta
sk.
W
ritin
g is
cle
ar in
pur
pose
and
inco
rpor
ates
rele
vant
con
tent
to in
form
/ en
gage
the
read
er.
Fe
atur
es o
f tex
t typ
e / g
enre
are
app
ropr
iate
to th
e ta
sk, e
.g. c
hoic
e of
te
nse/
verb
form
; lay
out;
form
ality
. Ide
as m
ay b
e ad
apte
d, e
.g. i
nclu
sion
of
con
text
ual i
nfor
mat
ion
on a
fict
itiou
s ch
arac
ter o
r the
use
of q
uote
s w
ithin
a re
port.
Con
tent
is b
alan
ced,
e.g
. bet
wee
n ac
tion
and
dial
ogue
; fac
t and
co
mm
ent.
Vie
wpo
int i
s es
tabl
ishe
d an
d ge
nera
lly m
aint
aine
d. C
ontra
stin
g at
titud
es
/ opi
nion
s m
ay b
e pr
esen
ted.
Som
e us
e of
exp
ert c
omm
ent m
ay b
e us
ed to
sug
gest
cre
dibi
lity
(rab
bits
are
pop
ular
pet
s be
caus
e th
ey c
an
live
outd
oors
in a
ll w
eath
er).
Idea
s an
d ev
ents
dev
elop
ed th
roug
h so
me
delib
erat
e se
lect
ion
of
phra
ses
and
voca
bula
ry, e
.g. t
echn
ical
term
inol
ogy;
viv
id la
ngua
ge;
wor
d ch
oice
for e
ffect
or e
mph
asis
.
Som
e us
e of
sty
listic
feat
ures
sup
port
purp
ose,
e.g
. for
mal
/info
rmal
vo
cabu
lary
; app
ropr
iate
use
of s
imile
s.
STA-KS2-WriteMod-An-L6.indd 4 18/03/2013 10:59
Standards and Testing Agency – Key Stage 2 Writing exemplification 2013 5
Engl
ish
Writ
ing
Leve
ls 4
- 6
~ R
evis
ed C
riter
ia to
sup
port
sta
tuto
ry a
sses
smen
t A
sses
smen
t fo
cuse
s
Leve
l 4
Leve
l 5
Leve
l 6
SEN
TEN
CE
STR
UC
TUR
E A
ND
PU
NC
TUA
TIO
N
AF5
V
ary
sent
ence
s fo
r cla
rity,
pu
rpos
e &
effe
ct
AF6
W
rite
with
tech
nica
l ac
cura
cy o
f syn
tax
and
punc
tuat
ion
in p
hras
es,
clau
ses
and
sent
ence
s
S
ente
nces
are
mos
tly g
ram
mat
ical
ly s
ound
, e.g
. cor
rect
sub
ject
/ver
b ag
reem
ent;
secu
rity
of te
nse
and
pers
on; c
orre
ct u
se o
f sub
ordi
natio
n.
S
ome
varia
tion
in s
ente
nce
stru
ctur
e th
roug
h a
rang
e of
ope
ning
s, e
.g.
adve
rbia
ls (s
ome
time
late
r, as
we
ran,
onc
e w
e ha
d ar
rived
...),
subj
ect
refe
renc
e (th
ey, t
he b
oys,
our
gan
g...)
, spe
ech.
Som
e va
riety
in s
ubor
dina
ting
conn
ectiv
es, e
.g. b
ecau
se, i
f, w
hich
(b
ecau
se th
e ra
in c
an d
amag
e th
eir s
kin.
..whi
ch w
as s
trang
e...I
f she
co
uld.
..).
Te
nse
choi
ce a
ppro
pria
te w
ith v
erb
form
s va
ried
and
gene
rally
acc
urat
e,
incl
udin
g th
e us
e of
mod
als
to e
xpre
ss p
redi
ctio
n, p
ossi
bilit
y, p
erm
issi
on,
e.g.
sho
uld,
mig
ht, c
ould
.
Sim
ple
mod
ifier
s m
ay c
reat
e sh
ades
of m
eani
ng, e
.g. t
o in
tens
ify o
r em
phas
ise
(ver
y la
rge,
qui
te s
low
ly).
M
ost s
ente
nces
cor
rect
ly d
emar
cate
d, e
.g. s
ome
com
mas
mar
k ph
rase
s or
cla
uses
; apo
stro
phes
mar
k co
ntra
ctio
ns. I
f use
d, in
verte
d co
mm
as
dem
arca
te th
e be
ginn
ing
and
end
of d
irect
spe
ech,
cor
rect
ly o
n m
ost
occa
sion
s.
V
arie
ty in
sen
tenc
e le
ngth
, stru
ctur
e an
d su
bjec
t to
help
exp
and
idea
s,
conv
ey k
ey is
sues
/fact
s or
pro
vide
em
phas
is, d
etai
l and
des
crip
tion.
Diff
eren
t sen
tenc
e ty
pes,
e.g
. que
stio
ns, d
irect
/ re
porte
d sp
eech
, co
mm
ands
(Tur
n up
side
dow
n) u
sed
appr
opria
tely
.
A w
ider
rang
e of
sub
ordi
natin
g co
nnec
tives
(whi
lst,
until
, des
pite
) with
po
ssib
le u
se o
f sev
eral
sub
ordi
nate
cla
uses
to a
id e
cono
my
of
expr
essi
on (B
ecau
se o
f the
ir co
urag
eous
effo
rts, a
ll of
the
pass
enge
rs
wer
e sa
ved,
whi
ch w
as n
othi
ng s
hort
of a
mira
cle.
.. ‘W
hils
t und
er m
y ro
of, y
ou w
ill o
bey
my
rule
s, w
hich
are
cle
arly
dis
play
ed’).
Em
phas
is m
ay b
e cr
eate
d th
roug
h w
ord
orde
r and
acc
urat
e us
e of
ve
rb p
hras
es, i
nclu
ding
the
pass
ive
voic
e w
here
app
ropr
iate
(the
ce
ntre
has
bee
n vi
site
d of
ten)
.
A ra
nge
of v
erb
form
s de
velo
ps m
eani
ng, a
nd a
ppro
pria
te te
nse
choi
ce
is m
aint
aine
d (it
will
pro
babl
y le
ave
of it
s ow
n ac
cord
...w
e co
uld
catc
h a
late
r tra
in, b
ut w
ill w
e ar
rive
on ti
me?
).
M
odifi
ers
cont
ribut
e to
sha
des
of m
eani
ng, e
.g. a
dver
bs (e
xtre
mel
y).
R
ange
of p
unct
uatio
n us
ed, a
lmos
t alw
ays
corr
ectly
, e.g
. com
mas
m
ark
phra
ses
and
clau
ses,
bra
cket
s, d
ashe
s.
C
ontro
lled
use
of a
var
iety
of s
impl
e an
d m
ore
com
plex
sen
tenc
es
cont
ribut
es to
cla
rity
of p
urpo
se a
nd o
vera
ll ef
fect
on
the
read
er.
A
rang
e of
sen
tenc
e fe
atur
es a
re u
sed
to g
ive
clar
ity o
r em
phas
is o
f m
eani
ng, e
.g. f
ront
ed a
dver
bial
s (A
s a
cons
eque
nce
of...
Gla
ncin
g
b
ackw
ards
...S
ome
wee
ks la
ter..
.), c
ompl
ex n
oun
phra
ses
(The
m
yste
rious
you
ng g
irl in
the
portr
ait..
.), p
repo
sitio
nal p
hras
es (F
rom
b
ehin
d th
e bi
ke s
hed.
..In
the
even
t of..
.).
S
ubor
dina
ting
conn
ectiv
es m
ay b
e m
anip
ulat
ed fo
r em
phas
is o
r to
nom
inal
ise
for s
ucci
nctn
ess
(Bec
ause
of t
hat,
he fa
iled.
).
Ver
b fo
rms
are
mos
tly c
ontro
lled
and
sele
cted
to c
onve
y pr
ecis
ion
of
mea
ning
(It w
ould
be
help
ful i
f you
cou
ld le
t me
know
, as
this
will
ena
ble
me
to ta
ke fu
rther
act
ion)
.
Mod
ifier
s ar
e us
ed to
qua
lify,
inte
nsify
or e
mph
asis
e (e
xcep
tiona
l res
ult,
insi
gnifi
cant
am
ount
).
Syn
tax
and
full
rang
e of
pun
ctua
tion
are
cons
iste
ntly
acc
urat
e in
a
var
iety
of s
ente
nce
stru
ctur
es, w
ith o
ccas
iona
l err
ors
in a
mbi
tious
s
truct
ures
.
TEXT
ST
RU
CTU
RE
AN
D
OR
GA
NIS
ATI
ON
A
F3
Org
anis
e an
d pr
esen
t who
le
text
s ef
fect
ivel
y, s
eque
ncin
g an
d st
ruct
urin
g in
form
atio
n,
idea
s an
d ev
ents
A
F4
Con
stru
ct p
arag
raph
s an
d us
e co
hesi
on w
ithin
and
be
twee
n pa
ragr
aphs
A
n ap
prop
riate
ope
ning
and
clo
sing
, whi
ch m
ay b
e lin
ked.
Org
anis
atio
n th
roug
h se
quen
cing
or l
ogic
al tr
ansi
tion,
e.g
. sim
ple
chro
nolo
gica
l sta
ges;
idea
s gr
oupe
d by
rela
ted
poin
ts; s
ubhe
adin
gs.
R
elat
ed e
vent
s or
idea
s or
gani
sed
into
par
agra
phs
or s
ectio
ns to
sup
port
the
cont
ent o
f the
writ
ing
in d
iffer
ent t
ext t
ypes
.
Con
nect
ions
with
in a
nd b
etw
een
para
grap
hs g
ener
ally
mai
ntai
ned
thro
ugh
use
of o
ngoi
ng re
fere
nces
, e.g
. pro
noun
s, a
dver
bial
s,
conn
ectiv
es (E
vent
ually
we.
..).
Li
nks
esta
blis
hed
betw
een
para
grap
hs, a
lthou
gh tr
ansi
tions
may
be
awkw
ard
or a
brup
t.
P
arag
raph
s or
sec
tions
may
be
exte
nded
and
dev
elop
ed, u
sual
ly a
roun
d a
topi
c, m
ain
poin
t, ev
ent,
or id
ea, e
.g. w
ith e
xpla
natio
n, c
ontra
st,
addi
tiona
l det
ail.
O
vera
ll or
gani
satio
n of
text
is s
uppo
rted
by p
arag
raph
s or
sec
tions
w
hich
ena
ble
cohe
rent
dev
elop
men
t and
con
trol o
f con
tent
acr
oss
the
text
.
Rel
atio
nshi
ps b
etw
een
para
grap
hs o
r sec
tions
giv
e st
ruct
ure
to th
e w
hole
text
, e.g
. lin
ks m
ake
stru
ctur
e be
twee
n to
pics
cle
ar; c
onne
ctio
ns
betw
een
open
ing
and
endi
ng.
S
eque
ncin
g an
d st
ruct
ured
org
anis
atio
n of
par
agra
phs
and
/ or
sect
ions
con
tribu
tes
to o
vera
ll ef
fect
iven
ess
of te
xt.
In
form
atio
n / e
vent
s de
velo
ped
in d
epth
with
in s
ome
para
grap
hs a
nd /
or s
ectio
ns.
S
ome
shap
ing
of p
arag
raph
s m
ay b
e ev
iden
t to
high
light
or p
riorit
ise
info
rmat
ion,
pro
vide
chr
onol
ogic
al li
nks,
bui
ld te
nsio
n or
inte
rject
co
mm
ent o
r ref
lect
ion.
A ra
nge
of c
ohes
ive
devi
ces
used
to d
evel
op o
r ela
bora
te id
eas
both
w
ithin
and
bet
wee
n pa
ragr
aphs
, e.g
. pro
noun
s; a
dver
bial
s;
conn
ectiv
es; s
ubje
ct s
peci
fic v
ocab
ular
y; p
hras
es o
r cha
ins
of
refe
renc
e (H
owev
er, i
t sho
uld
be s
tate
d...B
iolo
gica
l cha
nges
...D
espi
te
thei
r her
oic
effo
rts...
).
O
vera
ll or
gani
satio
n of
the
text
is c
ontro
lled
to ta
ke a
ccou
nt o
f the
re
ader
’s p
ossi
ble
reac
tion
/ que
stio
ns /
opin
ion,
e.g
. use
of f
lash
back
in
narr
ativ
e; p
laci
ng o
f inf
orm
atio
n ac
cord
ing
to im
porta
nce;
bal
anci
ng
pers
pect
ives
or p
oint
s of
vie
w; s
eque
ncin
g of
eve
nts
or id
eas.
A ra
nge
of fe
atur
es a
re u
sed
to in
form
the
read
er o
f the
ove
rall
dire
ctio
n of
the
writ
ing,
e.g
. ope
ning
par
agra
phs
clea
rly in
trodu
ce th
emes
or
crea
te in
tere
st; w
ithho
ldin
g of
info
rmat
ion
for e
ffect
; par
agra
ph o
r se
nten
ce m
arke
rs; r
efer
ence
s lin
k in
form
atio
n / i
deas
acr
oss
the
text
.
Som
e pa
ragr
aphs
and
/ or
sec
tions
are
sha
ped
and
deve
lope
d to
su
ppor
t mea
ning
and
pur
pose
, e.g
. prio
rity
subj
ects
/ ev
ents
/ id
eas
deve
lope
d in
gre
ater
det
ail a
nd d
epth
.
A ra
nge
of c
ohes
ive
devi
ces
cont
ribut
e to
the
effe
ct o
f the
text
on
the
read
er a
nd th
e pl
acin
g of
em
phas
is fo
r im
pact
, e.g
. pre
cise
adv
erbi
als
as s
ente
nce
star
ters
; a ra
nge
of a
ppro
pria
te c
onne
ctiv
es; s
ubje
ct
spec
ific
voca
bula
ry; s
elec
t use
of p
rono
un re
fere
ncin
g; c
ompl
ex n
oun
phra
ses;
pre
posi
tiona
l phr
ases
.
CO
MPO
SITI
ON
A
ND
EFF
ECT
AF1
W
rite
imag
inat
ive,
in
tere
stin
g an
d th
ough
tful
text
s A
F2
Pro
duce
text
s w
hich
are
ap
prop
riate
to ta
sk, r
eade
r an
d pu
rpos
e A
F7
Sel
ect a
ppro
pria
te a
nd
effe
ctiv
e vo
cabu
lary
W
ritin
g is
cle
ar in
pur
pose
and
inco
rpor
ates
rele
vant
con
tent
to in
form
/ en
gage
the
read
er.
Fe
atur
es o
f tex
t typ
e / g
enre
are
app
ropr
iate
to th
e ta
sk, e
.g. c
hoic
e of
te
nse
/ ver
b fo
rm; l
ayou
t; fo
rmal
ity. I
deas
may
be
adap
ted,
e.g
. inc
lusi
on
of c
onte
xtua
l inf
orm
atio
n on
a fi
ctiti
ous
char
acte
r or t
he u
se o
f quo
tes
with
in a
repo
rt.
C
onte
nt is
bal
ance
d, e
.g. b
etw
een
actio
n an
d di
alog
ue; f
act a
nd
com
men
t.
V
iew
poin
t is
esta
blis
hed
and
gene
rally
mai
ntai
ned.
Con
trast
ing
attit
udes
/ op
inio
ns m
ay b
e pr
esen
ted.
Som
e us
e of
exp
ert c
omm
ent m
ay b
e us
ed
to s
ugge
st c
redi
bilit
y (r
abbi
ts a
re p
opul
ar p
ets
beca
use
they
can
live
ou
tdoo
rs in
all
wea
ther
).
Id
eas
and
even
ts d
evel
oped
thro
ugh
som
e de
liber
ate
sele
ctio
n of
ph
rase
s an
d vo
cabu
lary
, e.g
. tec
hnic
al te
rmin
olog
y; v
ivid
lang
uage
; wor
d ch
oice
for e
ffect
or e
mph
asis
.
Som
e us
e of
sty
listic
feat
ures
sup
port
purp
ose,
e.g
. for
mal
/ in
form
al
voca
bula
ry; a
ppro
pria
te u
se o
f sim
iles.
P
urpo
se o
f writ
ing
is c
lear
and
gen
eral
ly m
aint
aine
d w
ith s
ome
effe
ctiv
e se
lect
ion
and
plac
ing
of c
onte
nt to
info
rm /
enga
ge th
e re
ader
.
Feat
ures
of s
elec
ted
form
are
cle
arly
est
ablis
hed,
e.g
. app
ropr
iate
se
lect
ion
and
varia
tion
of te
nse;
cho
ice
of p
erso
n; le
vel o
f for
mal
ity;
adap
tatio
n of
con
tent
for g
enre
and
aud
ienc
e.
C
onte
nt is
bal
ance
d an
d co
ntro
lled
with
som
e ef
fect
ive
sele
ctio
n an
d or
derin
g of
text
to e
ngag
e th
e re
ader
, e.g
. pla
cem
ent o
f sig
nific
ant
idea
/eve
nt fo
r em
phas
is; r
efle
ctiv
e co
mm
ent;
opin
ion;
dia
logu
e...
Est
ablis
hed
and
cont
rolle
d vi
ewpo
int w
ith s
ome
deve
lopm
ent o
f op
inio
n, a
ttitu
de, p
ositi
on o
r sta
nce.
Idea
s an
d ev
ents
dev
elop
ed th
roug
h el
abor
atio
n, n
omin
alis
atio
n, a
nd
imag
inat
ive
deta
il, e
.g. e
xpan
sion
of k
ey e
vent
s / d
etai
led
char
acte
risat
ion.
Voc
abul
ary
pred
omin
antly
app
ropr
iate
to te
xt ty
pe a
nd g
enre
. Pre
cise
w
ord
choi
ce m
ay c
reat
e im
pact
and
aug
men
t mea
ning
.
Var
ied
styl
istic
feat
ures
may
sup
port
both
pur
pose
and
effe
ct, e
.g.
allit
erat
ion,
met
apho
rs, p
uns,
em
otiv
e ph
rase
s.
C
onfid
ent,
imag
inat
ive
treat
men
t of s
ubje
ct /
mat
eria
l, th
ough
not
alw
ays
succ
essf
ul. W
ritin
g ge
nera
lly a
dapt
ed a
ppro
pria
tely
to d
iffer
ent f
orm
s,
purp
oses
and
aud
ienc
e, e
.g. a
per
suas
ive
spee
ch th
at s
hock
s th
e lis
tene
r; a
narr
ativ
e th
at fo
cuse
s on
the
perp
etra
tor’s
per
spec
tive;
a
mag
azin
e co
lum
n th
at is
use
d to
com
men
t on
mor
al /
soci
al is
sues
.
Var
ying
leve
ls o
f for
mal
ity a
re a
dopt
ed a
ccor
ding
to p
urpo
se a
nd
audi
ence
, e.g
. app
ropr
iate
use
of c
ontro
lled
info
rmal
ity; i
mpe
rson
al
cons
truct
ions
; shi
fts b
etw
een
form
al n
arra
tive
and
info
rmal
dia
logu
e.
V
iew
poin
t con
veys
an
indi
vidu
al v
oice
and
is g
ener
ally
sus
tain
ed
thro
ugho
ut a
pie
ce, e
.g. a
utho
ritat
ive
expe
rt vi
ew; c
onvi
ncin
g ch
arac
teris
atio
n; o
ppos
ing
opin
ions
.
Idea
s ar
e de
velo
ped
thro
ugh
cont
rolle
d us
e of
ela
bora
tion,
no
min
alis
atio
n an
d im
agin
ativ
e de
tail,
e.g
. inf
luen
ce o
f ear
ly c
hild
hood
on
cha
ract
er’s
late
r act
ions
.
Voc
abul
ary
is v
arie
d, p
reci
se a
nd o
ften
ambi
tious
.
A ra
nge
of s
tylis
tic fe
atur
es c
ontri
bute
to th
e ef
fect
of t
he te
xt, e
.g.
rhet
oric
al q
uest
ions
; rep
etiti
on fo
r effe
ct; f
igur
ativ
e la
ngua
ge.
STA-KS2-WriteMod-An-L6.indd 5 18/03/2013 10:59
Standards and Testing Agency – Key Stage 2 Writing exemplification 2013 6
National Curriculum level descriptions National Curriculum level descriptions are on the Department’s website at http://www.education.gov.uk/schools/teachingandlearning/curriculum/primary/b00198874/english/attainment/en3.
Level 2
Pupils' writing communicates meaning in both narrative and non-narrative forms, using appropriate and interesting vocabulary, and showing some awareness of the reader. Ideas are developed in a sequence of sentences, sometimes demarcated by capital letters and full stops. Simple, monosyllabic words are usually spelt correctly, and where there are inaccuracies the alternative is phonetically plausible. In handwriting, letters are accurately formed and consistent in size.
Level 3
Pupils' writing is often organised, imaginative and clear. The main features of different forms of writing are used appropriately, beginning to be adapted to different readers. Sequences of sentences extend ideas logically and words are chosen for variety and interest. The basic grammatical structure of sentences is usually correct. Spelling is usually accurate, including that of common, polysyllabic words. Punctuation to mark sentences - full stops, capital letters and question marks - is used accurately. Handwriting is joined and legible.
Level 4
Pupils' writing in a range of forms is lively and thoughtful. Ideas are often sustained and developed in interesting ways and organised appropriately for the purpose of the reader. Vocabulary choices are often adventurous and words are used for effect. Pupils are beginning to use grammatically complex sentences, extending meaning. Spelling, including that of polysyllabic words that conform to regular patterns, is generally accurate. Full stops, capital letters and question marks are used correctly, and pupils are beginning to use punctuation within the sentence. Handwriting style is fluent, joined and legible.
Level 5
Pupils' writing is varied and interesting, conveying meaning clearly in a range of forms for different readers, using a more formal style where appropriate. Vocabulary choices are imaginative and words are used precisely. Simple and complex sentences are organised into paragraphs. Words with complex regular patterns are usually spelt correctly. A range of punctuation, including commas, apostrophes and inverted commas, is usually used accurately. Handwriting is joined, clear and fluent and, where appropriate, is adapted to a range of tasks.
Level 6
Pupils' writing often engages and sustains the reader's interest, showing some adaptation of style and register to different forms, including using an impersonal style where appropriate. Pupils use a range of sentence structures and varied vocabulary to create effects. Spelling is generally accurate, including that of irregular words. Handwriting is neat and legible. A range of punctuation is usually used correctly to clarify meaning, and ideas are organised into paragraphs.
STA-KS2-WriteMod-An-L6.indd 6 18/03/2013 10:59
Standards and Testing Agency – Key Stage 2 Writing exemplification 2013 7
Standards and Testing Agency – Key Stage 2 Writing exemplification 2013
Key Stage 2 Writing teacher assessment
- Exemplification
Level 6
Collection 1
1. Commentary
2. Letter
3. Narrative
4. Report
STA-KS2-WriteMod-An-L6.indd 7 18/03/2013 10:59
Standards and Testing Agency – Key Stage 2 Writing exemplification 2013 8
Level 6 Collection 1 Piece 1
Standards and Testing Agency – Key Stage 2 Writing exemplification 2013
The Dive: Tom Daley
As he awaits his name to be called out of the
booming speakers, Tom encourages himself with
warming thoughts: ‘Dream and believe’; ‘Keep
calm’; ‘I’ve trained as hard as I can’; ‘That’s all
that counts’; ‘I’ll give it all I’ve got’.
Then... “Tom Daley for Great Britain!” He inhales
deeply and exits the changing room to be
confronted by a cheering crowd and tumulteus
applause.
Tensly, yet calmly he strides over to the bottom
of the ladder, his eyes full of nervous hope and
determination. He snaps a glance at his coach
who mouths a good luck at him. The aroma of
claurine fills the air whilst sweat drips down his
goose bumped arms. “Go Tom!” roars the crowd.
Everyone can sense the feelings of joy and
anticipation hitting Tom simultaneously; the climb
begins. Emerging at the top of the ladder – very
smoothly and calmly – he carefully stands up and
takes a deep breath of the still, chemical air. He
prepares to dive. Staring straight ahead, perfectly
upright, his heart thumps hard against his
In this piece of independent writing, children were asked to capture the strength of character, atmosphere and tension witnessed in an Olympic event. The piece was completed in a single, extended session.
Expanded noun phrase creates atmosphere (SSP)
Clipped clauses provide succinct character insight (SSP)
Connectives varied (SSP)
Semi colon supports build up of tension (SSP)
Use of dashes to embed adverbial phrase (SSP)
Opening paragraph structures brief character profile (TSO)
Detailed elaboration gives depth to paragraphs (TSO)
Continued
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ribcage, as wild horses stampede through his
chest.
“Come on Tom!” A familiar voice calls from the
crowd; he thinks it might be his mum. Shutting all
thoughts down, he hears the commentator asking
for silence and the last few claps die away. Tom
stands on the balls of his feet right at the edge of
the diving board; a hawk waiting to swoop down
on his ice blue prey.
Filled with strength, his whole body rises slightly,
his arms in the air, making a Y shape.
Adreneline. Silence. Dive. Flip. Splash. Six flips
and whoosh! Straight in. Air and water scream in
his ears on the way down. Complete silence. No
one to be seen beneath the blanket of water.
Above, everyone draws their breath.
His head emerges and the stadium rings with
applause. Pride fills both Tom and his coach’s
heart.
“Dream and believe!” He shouts.
Figurative language (CE)
Contrast of direct speech and reported thought (SSP)
Modifiers aid precision (SSP)
Word sentences create dramatic impact (SSP)
Pronouns accentuate contrast (SSP)
Direct link to opening paragraph (TSO)
Sequence of events amplifies pace and action (TSO)
Continued
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Standards and Testing Agency – Key Stage 2 Writing exemplification 2013
Commentary
Sentence Structure and Punctuation (SSP)
Text Structure and Organisation (TSO)
Composition and Effect (CE)
Sentence length and structure is varied.
Single word, noun sentences used as stylistic device to convey tension.
A range of adverbials (Tensly, yet calmly) and connectives provide additional detail of description and thought.
Accurate use of a full range of punctuation supports purpose and clarity.
The piece effectively interweaves a sequence of actions with associated reaction and comment.
Individual paragraphs are shaped to support the overall purpose and to create emphasis, using a range of cohesive devices, e.g. the treatment of silence and noise.
The sequences of thought and action help to engage the reader and control the pace through the text.
The brief concluding paragraph acts as a powerful link to bind the entire piece.
A tangible sense of atmosphere is created in this piece, as the writer moves from initial expectation, to the tension of live action, and the eventual euphoria of both crowd and diver.
Viewpoint is delivered through multiple perspectives: that of the crowd, the coach, and Tom himself.
Vivid and precise vocabulary (anticipation; emerging) combine with figurative language to present a convincing and compelling commentary.
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Level 6 Collection 1 Piece 2
Standards and Testing Agency – Key Stage 2 Writing exemplification 2013
Metalallergy House Rubber Street
Plastico PC5 RU1
3rd May 2012
Dear Sir
I am writing to complain about your tinned
macaroni cheese. Unfortunately, in the last tin I
opened, I found a small piece of extremely sharp
metal.
This happened three days ago, whilst I was
preparing a meal for my children. I was heating
the contents of the tin in a microwave when
suddenly sparks began to fly out of the macaroni.
The scene resembled an explosion in a fireworks
factory, which the children found highly exciting,
however, I was terrified.
After opening the microwave door, I fished about
in the bowl (with my hand) and cut my palm on a
small sliver of metal. I remember seeing
something glistening before putting the bowl in
the microwave, but thought nothing of it as your
meals have always been so reliable in the past.
Parenthesis used to clarify action (SSP)
Precise noun phrase (SSP)
Formal opening paragraph sets tone (CE)
Contrasting viewpoints (CE)
Adverbials specify chronology (TSO)
As part of a thematic fortnight on ‘food’, children were asked to compose a letter of complaint, following the discovery of a foreign body in a tinned product. Language and formality were discussed as a class; however, the child’s ideas were independent and the letter was completed within a single session.
Continued
Connectives varied (SSP)
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Worryingly, if I had heated up the macoroni in a
pan, the piece of sharp metal may have
remained hidden and when I fed it to my children,
there could have been a nasty accident. Can you
imagine my devastation if I had hurt them? I
would not wish this to happen to anybody else.
Perhaps you should consider changing the
material that your pots are made of; if they were
made of microwave proof plastic, there would be
no risk of any metal fragments contaminating the
contents. Plastic pots with screw on lids would
also be very efficient as they could be reused.
Furthermore, microwavable containers would
mean that busy people (like me) could make a
meal without having to dirty another saucepan
when heating up, which would save not only on
water, but time spent washing up.
In conclusion, I would like to say that my children
have always enjoyed your macoroni cheese. I
hope you will take my points into consideration
and make it safer to eat in future.
Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. I
hope not to have the same experience again.
Yours faithfully
XXX XXXXXXX
Passive suggests additional possibilities (SSP)
Rhetorical question appeals to conscience of reader (CE)
Modals express possibility (SSP)
Ambitious sentence structure maintains control (SSP)
Deliberate and precise selection of verb forms (SSP)
Some shaping of text with greater elaboration of suggestions for improvement (TSO)
Connecting adverbs and adverbials aid cohesion (TSO)
Closing statements echo initial tone and formality (TSO)
Continued
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Standards and Testing Agency – Key Stage 2 Writing exemplification 2013
Commentary
Sentence Structure and Punctuation (SSP)
Text Structure and Organisation (TSO)
Composition and Effect (CE)
Controlled use of varied sentence length and type; grammatical accuracy is generally maintained within ambitious structures.
Points are extended through a range of connectives, expanded noun phrases and adverbials.
Verb forms are precise and indicate present, past and future time as is appropriate (had hurt; would not wish). The use of modals contributes to the persuasive and reproving tone of the letter.
A range of punctuation is used mostly accurately, with occasional lapses, e.g. comma splice (highly exciting, however).
A succinct opening paragraph registers the tone and purpose of the letter.
Connecting adverbs and adverbials support chronological structure, linking the series of events and interspersing them with writer comment.
Paragraphs are expanded to include relevant detail; however, they remain focused and do not become over-elaborate.
The somewhat curt closing statement echoes the tone of the opening paragraph, ensuring no loss of coherence.
The consistent polite, yet reproachful tone leaves the reader in no doubt that this is a letter of complaint.
Formality sustained throughout and emotive comments mostly controlled despite the writer’s obvious concern.
The writer aims to engage the reader through a balance of recount, writer comment and suggestion. Vocabulary is occasionally repetitive, but nevertheless, precise (devastation, fragments).
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Level 6 Collection 1 Piece 3
Standards and Testing Agency – Key Stage 2 Writing exemplification 2013
The Piano
Vibrant chords break the silence of the lonely
hall. The notes send me back in time, triggering
memories from the past. Suddenly, my weary
fingers come alive, sliding over the keys, as the
melody wraps around me. Memories, both good
and bad, rise from the depths of my mind,
flooding me with emotion. It is as if the music is
waking my soul, as if flashes of my life are being
played on film and I am slipping back to my
childhood.
I was born on 7th April 1921 to a wealthy loving
family, in a village in the Peak District. I was a
happy, adventurous boy without a care in the
world. I had so many wonderful moments, but
none as joyful as the day of my 6th birthday.
The sounds grow softer as I see my mother
smiling; she is presenting me with a pale blue
box, tied in smooth, satin ribbon. Heart pounding
with excitement, I tug the bow, lift the lid and
gaze in awe. The hobby horse has a shiny,
dappled grey coat, a long flowing mane and deep
Children studied and extensively explored the animated version of The Piano (Aidan Gibbons). The teacher modelled and discussed different narrative techniques before asking the children to write an extended narrative, emphasising the flashbacks between past and present. The piece was planned, drafted, discussed in guided group work, self-edited and the final version produced over a two week period.
Verb forms signal shift in time (SSP)
Subject variation avoids repetition (SSP)
Precise noun phrases augment sense of reminiscence (SSP)
Final clause prepares transition to past time (TSO)
Confident opening passage engages the reader and establishes genre (CE)
Link back to opening paragraph (TSO)
Viewpoint emphasises change in mood (CE)
Continued
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chestnut eyes. Mother and father beam down at
me, and within seconds I am a prince, galloping
down the hallway into a mystical far away land.
Hunched in his rocking chair sits my grandfather.
I sit at his feet, on the crimson coloured rug, as
he tells me stories of World War One, in which he
was too ill to fight. He could never hide the guilt
he felt at doing nothing while my father, aged
only 17, fought in the trenches. When my father
returned home he told magnificent stories of
triumphs and terrible tragedies. I longed to follow
in his footsteps, to be a hero and return with
pride.
My childhood memories ice over as darker
thoughts cloud my mind.
Boom! Another bomb swoops down in the
distance. Gunfire echoes around the war torn
German town. The High Street is deserted, a
battle field between two enemies.
I am running from building to building, trying to
dodge the constant bombs and bullets. Ahead of
me, Matthew shouts commands and leads us
through a maze of streets away from the noise
and chaos.
Hiding in the shadows of a derelict shop,
Matthew and I stop to catch our breath. He asks
Paragraphs shaped to prioritise development and indicate shifts in time (TSO)
Fronted adverbial provides cohesion between sentences (TSO)
Continued
Manipulation of phrases and clauses supports succinct presentation of ideas (SSP)
Prepositional phrases emphasise conflict (SSP)
Varied subordination conveys time with precision (SSP)
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me to check the coast is clear. I glance out from
behind the crumbling wall, but see no one.
“All clear” I signal.
“Go! Go! Go!” Matthew calls to the men.
I wish I could forget what happened next. It plays
in slow motion in my head: Matthew stepping out
into the street; a bullet slicing through the air like
a shark through water; Matthew falling to the
ground with a heavy groan.
Checking his wounds, I can see he has been
shot through the lung. His breath comes in short
gasps.
“Don’t die on me,” I cry over the noise of the
gunfire. “I will get you to a hospital.”
“It is too late, my friend,” he murmers. His lips
are pale and his chest heaves as he fights for
life.
“Don’t forget me...” With a final breath, he slumps
in my arms, and his eyes close for the last time.
Trying to escape the sadness, I begin to play a
happier tune as my thoughts turn to Melissa.
It is a crisp winter evening. The night of the
village Christmas dance. I am playing the piano
for the evening. People are arriving, when
through the door comes a girl. Her long chestnut
Idiom portrays informality of indirect speech (CE)
Correct use of colon and semi colon gives clarity to succession of events (SSP)
Adverbials add impact (SSP)
Direct speech correctly punctuated (SSP)
Direct speech links action to flashback (TSO)
Precise vocabulary (CE)
Text structure controlled ‐ paragraphs signal shifts in time (TSO)
Continued
Nomalisation for succinctness (SSP)
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hair and deep green eyes sparkle in the light of
the Christmas decorations. She is wrapped in a
thick red coat, trimmed with fur to protect her
from the snow. She catches my eye and smiles a
secret smile.
More people begin to arrive, and I play merry
Christmas tunes. I watch as Melissa dances; she
moves gracefully across the floor like a fluttering
bird.
Eventually I stop playing and go to get some food
and sit with my friends. Then the gramophone
starts up. The latest tunes fill the hall and one by
one, my friends run to dance until I am all alone.
Everyone has a partner except me.
“Thomas! Over here!” a voice ripples above the
music.
It is Melissa.
“Come and dance with me!” she says pulling me
out of my chair.
“I can’t dance.” I reply, feeling ashamed.
“I’ll teach you,” she says excitedly...
I spent the happiest hours of my life with Melissa.
I feel her sitting beside me as my fingers start to
play our wedding march. As the best day of my
Repetitive pronoun reference implies intensity of interest (SSP)
Adverbial indicates viewpoint (SSP / CE)
Fronted adverbs link sentences and aid coherence (TSO)
Reference to previous paragraph strengthens coherence (TSO)
Ellipsis signals time shift (TSO)
Indefinite pronoun amplifies personal sense of isolation (SSP)
Continued
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Simple sentences intensify emotional impact (SSP)
life fills my memory, it is quickly followed by the
worst. Sadness slows the music and I blink back
the tears.
I am holding her hand; tears roll down my
wrinkled face as she says a last goodbye. All
hope has gone. The illness has drained away
her life like water down a plughole. Pain creases
her face.
“I love you, Thomas.” she whispers.
“I love you too. I always will.” I gently stroke her
hair.
“Goodbye, my dearest.” Her voice trails away...
I will never forget her; as I play the piano, she sits
beside me and only I can see that secret smile.
Outside, the rumble of a car jogs me back to the
present. My grandson has arrived. He has
Melissa’s deep-green eyes and chestnut curls.
He runs in, scoops up the old hobby horse, and
charges round the piano and waving an
imaginary sword. Then he climbs onto the stool
beside me and I smile as two hands, old and
young, meet on the ivory keys. We play the
notes together, laughing. I can carry on.
Modifiers create shades of meaning to emphasise sense of loss (SSP)
Noun phrase indicates contrast (SSP)
Reference chains establish coherence across the whole text (TSO)
Strong conclusion links explicitly to opening paragraph (TSO)
Continued
Verb forms help create subtle changes in time (SSP)
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Standards and Testing Agency – Key Stage 2 Writing exemplification 2013
Commentary
Sentence Structure and Punctuation (SSP)
Text Structure and Organisation (TSO)
Composition and Effect (CE)
A range of sentence types and features contribute to clarity of purpose and the overall effectiveness of the text.
Subordination is varied, and ambitious structures are competently managed throughout.
Succinct, simple sentences are effectively employed to intensify the emotional impact of the piece.
Verb forms are controlled and precise, enabling the writer to create subtleties of meaning and fluent transitions from present to past time.
A range of punctuation is used with few errors.
Text organised chronologically, thereby managing transitions between present and past.
Pace and rhythm are directed through the shaping of paragraphs, and the incorporation of dialogue.
Coherence and cohesion are strengthened by the use of ongoing references that foster meaningful links across shifts in time (secret smile); and through the precise use of a range of connecting devices.
Confident, imaginative treatment: simple quality of narrative conveys intense personal emotions.
Individual voice is sustained throughout: viewpoint is shaped by memory and the mood of the music.
Ideas are developed through thoughtful elaboration and the use of precise and vivid vocabulary (triumphs and terrible tragedies) and figurative language slicing through the air).
Level 6 Collection 1 Piece 3
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Level 6 Collection 1 Piece 4
Standards and Testing Agency – Key Stage 2 Writing exemplification 2013
The Athens’ Post 1-5-12
WHAT A DAY!
Chariot Racing: A Hit in the Hippodrome.
A new record holder too – Solcumas Maximus
At 2pm yesterday, the race of the century was
witnessed by spectators, who had arrived in their
thousands to visit the impressive new stadium.
The noise erupting from the Hippodrome was
reported to have been heard from several miles
away. Inside the arena, chariots carted around
the track, swinging and swerving at incredibly
high speed, as their brave and talented drivers
struggled to control them.
The predicted warm weather proved perfect for
the crowd who were literally sat on the edge of
their seats, in awe of the stunning horses, and
the death defying daring of the jockeys.
Four exhillerating races took place during the
day: Paired horses; Four horse scurry; Foals and
finally, Teams of mules.
A whole 12 laps of the course (9 miles) would
normally take between 35 and 40 minutes, but
Solcumus Maximus completed the scurry in an
Alliteration heightens sense of danger (CE)
Brackets clarify information (SSP)
Headline and subheading support organisation (TSO)
Opening paragraph conveys where, what and when (TSO)
Single sentence paragraph acts as transitional device from the general to the specific (TSO)
As part of the Olympic theme, writing was linked to a historical perspective of the games. Children planned and wrote a newspaper report based on the original event. The piece was edited and completed during ICT over two days.
Continued
Adverb emphasises sense of excitement (SSP)
Verb forms precise (SSP)
Level 6 Collection 1 Piece 4
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unbelievable time of 25 minutes! He set a new
world record. What an achievement!
It was a gold medal day for Maximus, who had
earlier won the opening race – the pairs. He was
a good sport, despite the fact that his arch rival,
Hadrid Andromodous, had attempted to run him
off the track in a hair raising manouvre through
the final bend.
‘It was a fast race but I have a great team of
horses’ quoted Maximus, refusing to show off or
boast of his achievments. He was clearly
delighted to have set a new record.
The race will be remembered for many years to
come; those who participated showed
exceptional bravery, especially as chariot racing
is viewed as one of the most dangerous sports in
the world.
“It was a scintillating day and I loved it” quoted a
satisfied spectator.
Up in the stands, we spoke to Solcumus’ mother,
as she wiped a tear from her eye. “I’m so proud
of my son,” she stuttered, “He is a hero in my
eyes”.
Due to the event being a complete sell out,
hundreds of citizens were disappointed at not
being able to witness the action first hand: “I just
Short sentences for impact (SSP)
Adverbial provides additional detail (SSP)
Pronoun referencing aids cohesion (TSO)
Controlled sentence structure linking several clauses (SSP)
Varied subordination (SSP)
Accurate speech punctuation (SSP)
Quote links action to comment (TSO)
Ongoing subject referencing aids coherence (TSO)
Continued
Level 6 Collection 1 Piece 4
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Level 6 Collection 1 Piece 4
Standards and Testing Agency – Key Stage 2 Writing exemplification 2013
wish I could have been there,” sighed a
disappointed gladiator who did not get to see the
games.
This was certainly a once in a lifetime opportunity
and a day that will go down in history!
Commentary
Sentence Structure and Punctuation (SSP)
Text Structure and Organisation (TSO)
Composition and Effect (CE)
Varied and ambitious sentence structures used throughout, mostly successfully.
Subordination varied, e.g. for qualification (despite the fact...); emphasis (especially as).
Verb forms are precise and selected to convey meaning and tense.
Mostly accurate use of punctuation gives clarity to the text.
Layout is in keeping with the features of a newspaper. The heading and orientation signal content to the reader and provide a conventional opening to the report.
Some shaping of paragraphs is evident through the elaboration of key events.
Precise adverbials, subject and pronoun referencing, and strategically placed quotes, serve to strengthen cohesion throughout the text.
The report moves from the general to the specific as the events of the day are imparted with detail, quote and comment.
The writer achieves an appropriate level of formality, integrating aspects of formal narrative (those who participated) with the conversational style of an enthusiastic journalist.
Vocabulary is precise (predicted, manouvre, scintillating), and the use of idiom and alliteration is appropriate to the piece.
Idioms in keeping with journalistic style (CE)
Relative clause extends insight to quote (SSP)
Level 6 Collection 1 Piece 4Level 6 Collection 1 Piece 4
Standards and Testing Agency – Key Stage 2 Writing exemplification 2013
wish I could have been there,” sighed a
disappointed gladiator who did not get to see the
games.
This was certainly a once in a lifetime opportunity
and a day that will go down in history!
Commentary
Sentence Structure and Punctuation (SSP)
Text Structure and Organisation (TSO)
Composition and Effect (CE)
Varied and ambitious sentence structures used throughout, mostly successfully.
Subordination varied, e.g. for qualification (despite the fact...); emphasis (especially as).
Verb forms are precise and selected to convey meaning and tense.
Mostly accurate use of punctuation gives clarity to the text.
Layout is in keeping with the features of a newspaper. The heading and orientation signal content to the reader and provide a conventional opening to the report.
Some shaping of paragraphs is evident through the elaboration of key events.
Precise adverbials, subject and pronoun referencing, and strategically placed quotes, serve to strengthen cohesion throughout the text.
The report moves from the general to the specific as the events of the day are imparted with detail, quote and comment.
The writer achieves an appropriate level of formality, integrating aspects of formal narrative (those who participated) with the conversational style of an enthusiastic journalist.
Vocabulary is precise (predicted, manouvre, scintillating), and the use of idiom and alliteration is appropriate to the piece.
Idioms in keeping with journalistic style (CE)
Relative clause extends insight to quote (SSP)
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Standards and Testing Agency – Key Stage 2 Writing exemplification 2013 23Standards and Testing Agency – Key Stage 2 Writing exemplification 2013
Level 6 collection 1: Overall commentary
Although there is a fictitious element within all pieces of writing, the range of genre is sufficiently varied and includes factually referenced non-fiction text types. Literacy has been used as a vehicle to develop cross curricular, thematic writing, and children have been provided with appropriate opportunities to explore different aspects of such themes over time. The ideas and content of each piece are completely individual and independent. Although not all pieces are equally strong, the collection overall fully meets the level 6 criteria.
In each piece of writing, the level of control in sentence structure and punctuation is commensurate with level 6. Sentences vary in type and length according to the desired impact on the reader, e.g. the voicing of Tom’s thoughts in ‘The Dive’; the rhetorical question in the letter of complaint; the repetitive imperative command in ‘The Piano’. A range of grammatical features serve to clarify and emphasise, e.g. fronted adverbials (Tensly, yet calmly); complex noun phrases (the shadows of a derelict shop); prepositional phrases (through the final bend). Verb forms are controlled and precise, e.g. use of the present tense passive voice (are being played); fronted verbs (Staring straight ahead), whilst subordinating connectives are manipulated for effect (It is as if the music; who had arrived in their thousands). Clarity of meaning is defined through the mostly accurate application of a full range of punctuation.
The overall organisation of texts is controlled, with events and information strategically placed to demand and respond to reader reaction, e.g. the move from anticipation to tension, and finally elation in ‘The Dive’. A range of features act to signpost the reader, e.g. opening paragraphs convey expectation (the race of the century) / indicate formality (I am writing to complain); deliberate repetition links points of reference (chestnut hair and deep green eyes). The writer is beginning to shape paragraphs, e.g. in the letter of complaint, advice on the design of pots is detailed, whereas the final paragraph is a polite, but succinct rebuke. Ideas, events and information are effectively linked by a range of cohesive devices.
Each piece in the collection is executed with imagination and confidence. Writing is adapted to different forms, purposes and audience. The narrative has particular strengths, balancing events of the present with those of the past to create an effectively poignant story. Vocabulary across the range is varied, precise and ambitious, and a range of stylistic features complements the individual purpose of each piece.
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