30
Inside this issue: 29 AES - The twelve days of bridging 6 37 AES - The BGEs tasche costs him champagne 8 44 HQ & SP SQN - Before and after 16 77 Talisman Sqn - Spoof awards 18 11 Field Sqn - Stories from 3 Troop 26 Welcome back pam- pered Padre Claire Callanan 33 More from Baby Hec- tor 34 Messages from the Editor - Do not forget to claim you conces- sionary travel 42 Issue 15 23 February 2012 Commanding Officer’s Foreword Another two weeks have swiftly passed; we can now say that the deployment will end next month; or within 4 weeks! This milestone is important for every- one within the Engineer Group; it is a period where we know everything that is expected of us until we depart, and that the foundations for receiving 26 Engi- neer Regiment are firmly set. Much activity over the last few weeks has been eclipsed by the successful construction of the largest military single-span bridge since 1945. Lt Glynn Tomsett & SSgt Warren- Nicholls in particular, led a small team to deliver an impressive con- struction. Seeing the weight of pres- sure seemingly rise from SSgt W-N‟s shoulders when the bridge, sus- pended on numerous rollers and counterweights, was pushed across the Nahr-e Bughra Canal to touch down on the southern bank was great to see. The steel structure, at its longest, was just over 106 meters long and 9 meters high. The final bridge will cover a span of 67 me- ters. Work will continue until the very end of our time in Helmand, when we hope to hold a proper opening ceremony for the Provisional and Dis- trict Afghan officials. But the lads from 29 Sqn, under the watchful eye of SSgt Warren-Nicholls, were not the only show in town. Capt Gleave coordinated a 10-man dive task in the River Helmand. Supported by the infantry from the Queen‟s Royal Hussars, the local Afghan Police and leadership of the Afghan water authorities, the divers conducted a night time inspection of piers that hold up one of the key bridges within central Helmand. It was an excellent job, completed at night, under the threat of insurgent attack and the incredibly swift current of the cold glacial river. Elsewhere, 29 Sqn alongside 11 Fd Sqn are deepening an area of security within the key district of Kopak. Together they are involved in a protracted op- eration constructing roads and check points for the Afghan Local Police so that they may offer security to the population that hitherto had been targeted by the insurgents. Against the trying weather conditions over here, both Squadrons are doing extremely well; for many it will be their last task before commencing their handovers to the Squadrons from 25 Engineer Regiment. Page 1

20120223 Newsletter Issue Issue 15

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Page 1: 20120223 Newsletter Issue Issue 15

Inside this issue:

29 AES - The twelve days of bridging

6

37 AES - The BGEs tasche costs him champagne

8

44 HQ & SP SQN - Before and after

16

77 Talisman Sqn -

Spoof awards

18

11 Field Sqn - Stories

from 3 Troop

26

Welcome back pam-

pered Padre Claire

Callanan

33

More from Baby Hec-tor

34

Messages from the

Editor - Do not forget

to claim you conces-

sionary travel

42

Issue 15

23 February 2012

Commanding Officer’s Foreword

Another two weeks have swiftly passed; we can now say that the deployment will end next month; or within 4 weeks! This milestone is important for every-one within the Engineer Group; it is a period where we know everything that is expected of us until we depart, and that the foundations for receiving 26 Engi-

neer Regiment are firmly set.

Much activity over the last few weeks has been eclipsed by the successful construction of the largest military single-span bridge since 1945. Lt Glynn Tomsett & SSgt Warren-Nicholls in particular, led a small team to deliver an impressive con-struction. Seeing the weight of pres-sure seemingly rise from SSgt W-N‟s shoulders when the bridge, sus-pended on numerous rollers and counterweights, was pushed across the Nahr-e Bughra Canal to touch down on the southern bank was great to see. The steel structure, at its longest, was just over 106 meters long and 9 meters high. The final bridge will cover a span of 67 me-ters. Work will continue until the very end of our time in Helmand, when we hope to hold a proper opening ceremony for the Provisional and Dis-

trict Afghan officials.

But the lads from 29 Sqn, under the watchful eye of SSgt Warren-Nicholls, were not the only show in town. Capt Gleave coordinated a 10-man dive task in the River Helmand. Supported by the infantry from the Queen‟s Royal Hussars, the local Afghan Police and leadership of the Afghan water authorities, the divers conducted a night time inspection of piers that hold up one of the key bridges within central Helmand. It was an excellent job, completed at night, under the

threat of insurgent attack and the incredibly swift current of the cold glacial river.

Elsewhere, 29 Sqn alongside 11 Fd Sqn are deepening an area of security within the key district of Kopak. Together they are involved in a protracted op-eration constructing roads and check points for the Afghan Local Police so that they may offer security to the population that hitherto had been targeted by the insurgents. Against the trying weather conditions over here, both Squadrons are doing extremely well; for many it will be their last task before commencing

their handovers to the Squadrons from 25 Engineer Regiment.

Page 1

Page 2: 20120223 Newsletter Issue Issue 15

Lastly, 37 Squadron deployed to the desert near Camp Bastion to use the Trojan Armoured Vehicles. They used the tank as a platform to fire the Python, an explosive hose 200 meters long that is pulled by a rocket fired into the air. The hose is propelled forward and upon falling to the ground in a straight line it immediately detonates, causing any mine or explosive device to be destroyed and thereby creating a safe

route. A great spectacle to watch followed by a huge explosion that has heard for miles around.

Lieutenant Colonel Kev Copsey - Commanding Officer

Page 2

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29 Armoured Engineer Squadron

Officer Commanding’s Foreword

A fantastic couple of weeks for the Squadron during which we have delivered some outstanding combat engineering; 5 Troop building bases in Kopak, 2 Troop (attached from 11 Field Squadron) constructing Route Minley, 4.6 Troop creating huge vehicle checkpoints (VCPs) along the main road in to Lashkar Gah and of course Malvern Troop have landed the bridge on the far bank after eight weeks work. 8 Armoured Engineer Squadron begin to arrive in Afghani-stan in two weeks but 29 continue to excel and remain focused on our tasks – it

helps to stay busy when you can see the end in sight!

5 Troop have been split down to two groupings for the past three weeks for op-erations in Kopak. And commanded by SSgt Harris whilst Capt Cox is covering Capt Millers R&R (it is like musical chairs!) they have built new bases to enable joint ISAF and Afghan operations. Cpl Haynes and his Sect has completed the build of CP Largay in Northern Kopak – which is now occupied by a 2 MERCIAN patrol and the Afghan Police – and he they are now constructing a second base to secure Route Minley. LCpl Syratt and a small band of determined men are bouncing all over the area in Chinook helicopters to build firing platforms, pe-rimeter defences and basic ablutions for the infantry patrols and Afghan Police. It is amazing what can be achieved with nearly 120 tonnes of stores delivered in the right place and a lot of fighting spirit; you can read all about the first phase in the article below. Throughout the lads from 2 Troop have maintained their tempo repairing culverts on Rte Minley and ensuring the track is able to support the ISAF traffic. They are

delivering in spades and it has been excellent to have them attached to 29 for the last few weeks.

SSgt Brown (or Daddy as we now like to call him – congratulations Angela!) and another small band of determined men have been working day and night to build VCPs along Route 601. The short notice but high important work has been achieved against all the odds and despite all the problems the local Afghan workers could cause! The lads in Patrol Base Attal are taking a well earned break before completed the third and final VCP. I am sure LCpl Marks will be busy writing his article for the next Trojan Times as you

read this one!

I hope you managed to see the “big day” on BFBS when the Malvern Bridge was boomed (pushed) over the water to land on the far side. It was a great achievement for the lads on site but definitely the culmina-tion of the whole Squadrons efforts for the last two moments. I definitely saw the weight lift from SSgt War-ren-Nicholls‟ shoulders when the TV crew got the much anticipated shot! Never mind that the Command-ing Officer was looking on as the bridge edged slowly towards it target. A fantastic day for the Squadron, the Regiment and the Corps – the longest single span military bridge built on operations since Burma. We are not finished (Sgt Bellis still has a road to complete) but we are now confident that the task will be fully finished before we handover in March. If you missed any of the footage it can be seen on bfbs.com and

youtube.com.

So we are creeping closer to the end now. Sgt Alecks keeps reminding me that his replacement is in Camp Bastion on 23 February – day by day we get closer to being back with our friends and family. It is a tremendous feeling but we have to ensure we balance those emotions to be both focused and safe until

the very end. The Medals Parade on 29 March is beginning to seem close now......

Best wishes,

Si Carvel

Page 3

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Op KAPCHA ZHRANDAGARAY

Spr Ash Knights

Monday the 6th of February was D-day for Op KAPCHA ZHRANDAGARAY and seven Engineers of 29 comprising of LCpl Scotty Syratt, Spr Joey Lovell, Spr Pete Sutton, Spr Chris Rosie, Spr Gaz Tully, Spr V Vaqe and myself moved to Patrol Base (PB) 4 ready for a helicopter insertion and an eight day race against the clock to upgrade four basic Afghan compounds into secure Check Points, (CP) to launch fu-ture operations and dominate the ground in what was believed to be a thriving Taliban area. At the same time as our insertion was a two company advance-to-contact with Afghanistan National Army (ANA) and Afghanistan Uniformed Police (AUP) in the mix as well. As the call was received to move we boarded the

Merlin and set off for our first task.

CP AAYENDA was a large compound to be occupied by the AUP and we were there to help them build their basic defences. We ar-rived shortly before last light and established our perimeter along with our infantry call sign and built a stand-to position, but due to the lack of light we were unable to push any fur-ther and so relaxed into a sentry roster. With temperatures dropping well into the minus it was a great feeling breaking the ice on our bivvi bags to stag-on, this probably being the

warmest part of the night as a roaming sentry meant a little more heat generated! As morning broke we had little time for breakfast and as the bottled water was still frozen we smashed straight into the task. Not surprisingly when we came to start the tools the AUP had brought were non-existent and their will to build was similar, so we ended up doing the bulk of their work. Fortunately the other call signs mucked in to keep up with the demand for sandbags for each firing platform and by the end of the day in excess of 350

bags had been filled. It was now day 3 and time to hand over - rock on to CP2 - heli inbound! Picture 2a.

CP HEWAD was a much smaller compound and in a zone that had been out of bounds for many previous HERRICKs due to the IED and small arms threat. As the helicopter dropped the 2 ½ tons of stores, we managed to borrow a quad and trailer to bring them into the CP. Gaz Tully was the only trained quad operator and having not driven one since Bastion in September, (it was quite obvious but fun to watch) had to use his vehicle to fast ball the stores into the compound walls. Again there was very little time after this due to fading light to erect any form of sangar so a fortified position with sandbags was placed in and so we just waited till first light. With a plan already discussed the night before we got stuck in and throughout the day had built two firing platforms, one with overhead cover, and a roof top sanger with arcs of 360 degrees. The process was slowed down though thanks to a local who stumbled across an IED approx 20m in front of the sangar and proceeded to rip it out of the ground until he was politely asked to stop! The last thing to go in was a cam net and the job was done, with even a little spare time to build a small portable toilet and cover from view screen - job done. At last light a replacement multiple was brought in and took over the duties and responsibility of a more or less fully operational CP. We then awaited an early rise, ready to move onto task 3. Many thanks to the young (jack) infantry chefs who made themselves lots of bacon sarnies but

failed to accommodate us. Cheers lads - noted!

Page 4

The team at CP Aayenda

The new build looking good

Page 5: 20120223 Newsletter Issue Issue 15

On arrival to CP SRISH the infantry boys had already begun filling sandbags, allowing us to get straight into building. Again Scotty and Rosie ran the chippy (carpentry) jobs, Gaz and I were making the steps and portable toi-lets (which were pretty awesome by the way) and Joey, V and Pete were building the sand-bag walls to perfection. Within the first few hours a firing platform had already gone in and a rooftop sangar had been established and was being fortified. We dug in a latrine ready for immediate use and a regular supply of brews was forthcoming from the kitchen, it was a nice change to be appreciated and looked after. After a heavy day of work, the CP was more or less ready to rock - the two platforms both had overhead cover and a 3rd platform had been erected covering the west. On day 2 (which was in fact day 6 overall) we had a 4th platform up, a shower unit, toilet and the cat wire fence in position. It was all done with the immense help from the infantry lads, blasting out the sandbags. We were also given enough time to build some shelving units and tables for the kitchen area which was greatly appreciated by them and we left the CP with much praise from all of them! Cheers to D Coy 5 Rifles for the food you cooked for us all at CP SRISH, hope you are reading

this!

The final task of four was CP POLAD (Pashtu for „Steel‟) and this time as Gaz transported the stores that had just been dropped by the Chinook, on his second stint on a quad he did improve, a little. The CP was a large compound shared with the AUP and we went straight to work on a platform to the rear of the compound and another roof top sanger. More sandbags – ahhhh! Again thanks to the infantry, this time C Coy, 2 Rifles who filled for the majority of the day beside us. The sanger was emplaced within the day. Note to Pete Sut-ton for putting the first sandbag seam outwards (which we didn‟t notice until the end): the rest were perfect and you let us down! A shower unit and a portable toilet then went up with the spare timber. I‟m getting quite good at the timber

Porta Pottys if anyone wants to put an order in?

Finally on day 9 it was now time to get back to PB2 to re-coup and prepare for Phase 2. Overall we had built 13 well-fortified positions to defend from and added many mod cons to assist the CPs in their daily routines. We had filled over 1400 sandbags in order to complete the task and drank more brews in a

week than most people consume in a month. A job well done I think!

Page 5

The Afghan flag flying high at CP

CP Shrish - another new build

Page 6: 20120223 Newsletter Issue Issue 15

The 12 Days of Bridging

(To the tune of ‟12 days of Christmas‟)

On the first day of Malvern the ANA gave to me,

A cartridge in a GPMG

On the second day of Malvern the QM gave to me,

2 Oakley gloves and a cartridge in a GPMG.

On the third day of Malvern the Surveyor gave to me,

3 levelling pens, 2 Oakley gloves and a

cartridge in a GPMG.

On the fourth day of Malvern the 2IC gave to me,

4 decking kerbs, 3 levelling pens, 2 Oakley gloves

and a cartridge in a GPMG.

On the fifth day of Malvern the Works group gave to me,

5 top slab units, 4 decking kerbs, 3 levelling pens, 2 Oak-

ley gloves and a cartridge in a GPMG.

On the sixth day of Malvern Sp Tp gave to me,

6 POMs a laying, 5 top slab units, 4 decking kerbs, 3 levelling pens, 2 Oakley gloves and a cartridge in a

GPMG.

On the seventh day of Malvern the weather gave to me,

7 ISOs swimming, 6 POMs a laying, 5 top slab units, 4 decking kerbs, 3 levelling pens, 2 Oakley

gloves and a cartridge in a GPMG.

Page 6

Page 7: 20120223 Newsletter Issue Issue 15

On the eighth day of Malvern the sappers gave to me,

8 spades a shovelling, 7 ISOs swimming, 6 POMs a laying, 5 top slab units, 4 decking kerbs, 3 levelling pens, 2 Oakley gloves and a car-

tridge in a GPMG.

On the ninth day of Malvern the contractor gave to me,

9 lorries loaded, 8 spades a shovelling, 7 ISOs swimming, 6 POMs a laying, 5 top slab units, 4 decking kerbs, 3 levelling pens, 2 Oakley

gloves and a cartridge in a GPMG.

On the tenth day of Malvern the crane gave to me,

10 chords a joining, 9 lorries loading, 8 spades a shovelling, 7 ISOs swimming, 6 POMs a laying, 5 top slab units, 4 decking kerbs, 3 level-

ling pens, 2 Oakley gloves and a cartridge in a GPMG.

On the eleventh day of Malvern the Sqn gave to me,

11 Pipers pulling, 10 chords a joining, 9 lorries loading, 8 spades a shovelling, 7 ISOs swimming, 6 POMs a laying, 5 top slab units, 4 decking

kerbs, 3 levelling pens, 2 Oakley gloves and a cartridge in a GPMG.

On the twelfth day of Malvern the SSgt Warren-Nicholls gave to me,

a 67.056m single span DDHR2H++ LSB, 11 Pipers pulling, 10 chords a joining, 9 lorries loading, 8 spades a shovelling, 7 ISOs swimming, 6 POMs a laying, 5 top slab units, 4 decking kerbs, 3 levelling pens, 2 Oakley gloves and a

cartridge in a GPMG.

Page 7

Page 8: 20120223 Newsletter Issue Issue 15

37 Armoured Engineer

Squadron

Officer Commanding’s Foreword

As I sit to write this we have just over a month to go and the pace of life is showing no let up. Everyone is flat out completing tasks and making sure we are in good shape for the handover to 33 Armoured Engineer Squadron whose lead elements will be

upon us in the next week or so.

A big thank you to Captain Dominic Riley for covering for me during my recent R&R and it was good to see some of you at the Regimental Coffee Morning in Paderborn. I was struck by the positive attitude and sense of unity amongst our rear operations

group, a tough job done well for which I am very grateful.

You will also be interested to know that I visited the family of our fallen brother Sapper Bond, who were in good spirits and enor-mously looking forward to spending time with the Squadron fam-ily when they visit Germany after our return - we also look for-

ward to welcoming them to our home.

You will see from the articles below that we continue to conduct a diverse range of tasks. The Armoured Support Group (the en-gineer tanks) have completed their last tasks for the moment and I am hugely grateful to the 7 Troop command team - Lt An-tony 'Coleface' Cole, SSgt 'Nighthawk' Scott and Sgt 'Fraz' Weatherston for their work in leading the crews of Cpl 'AJ' Rob-erts, 'Turk' Stevens and 'Ginge' Dodson on some exciting missions throughout the tour. We continue to undertake operations in some of the most challenging areas of Helmand Province in our efforts to drive

forward transition to an Afghan Army and Police lead - worthy work which is making the difference.

Inevitably thoughts begin to be dominated by our forthcoming return - and what a week it will be. Of course the best way to work out what is going on is to talk to your partner when they ring or e-mail and they will be able to provide you with the details you need. But there have also been a series of several homecoming briefs within the Regiment, and as ever you can get more information via the Squadron Rear

Operations Group (Sean Killen) or direct from our excellent Welfare Team.

I wish you the very best as we enter these last few weeks - I hope it doesn't drag too much and if you are

in Germany that it starts to warm up soon! Keep safe...

Guy Boxall

Page 8

Page 9: 20120223 Newsletter Issue Issue 15

Page 9

PB BAHADUR – Elevated Sangar Move

By Cpl Mal King 7 Troop

It was 0700hrs on the morning of the 31st of Jan when our patrol left FOB Khar Nikah. My section, com-

prised of Sappers Tom Ashby, Ben Shorthouse, Pete Broxton, Terry Pangop, Malc Malcolm and Billy

Crump, we were accompanied by members of 2 Royal Gurkha Rifles on the patrol to PB Bahadur. The

PB was only approximately a kilometre away so was relatively straight forward and we managed to get to

our destination in good time.

The first task was to repair a step to one of the sangars and that took Spr Ben Shorthouse ten minutes!

Our second task was to replace the kitchen roof and that took us about three hours. The third and main

task was to move a super sangar a distance of about ten metres. This was so that a Revivor Camera Bal-

loon could be set up in the PB. The dismantling of the super sangar began as soon as it got dark as it

meant working above the height of the PB walls. The Revivor trailer was to be under-slung by a helicopter

into the PB on the morning of the 4th Feb. The super sangar could not be rebuilt until the Revivor was in

place as it would have obstructed the helicopter.

On the morning of the 4th, as the helicopter attempted to drop off its under-slung load, all hell broke loose.

Due to the small size of the PB and its high walls which didn't allow the down draft from the helicopter to

dissipate. The force of the wind picked up our newly constructed roof, still intact and flung it into one of

the sangars. Speaking to the rifleman in the sangar at the time, he said clips from the film "Final Destina-

tion" flashed into his mind as he watched the roof hurtling towards him. Needless to say the attempted

drop off was postponed until the following morning.

The next day the trailer was dropped outside the PB and with the help of nearly everyone in the PB and

after a lot of sweating, grunting, shouting and a few swear words, we managed to drag it into the PB.

Measurements were taken and the final position of the relocated super sangar was decided. Spr Billy

Crump quickly carried out the ground prep in his little digger (which later got named Wall-E) and the scaf-

folding was erected. That night, under the cover of darkness the real hard work began, filling the Hesco

baskets - by hand. Sandbags were filled, carried up the stairs and emptied into the baskets. The Gurkhas

were a big help in filling sandbags and cooking curry for us in the evenings.

After three straight days of nineteen hour shifts, I decided to give the lads a lie-in to recover as all we

could do was fill sandbags and wait for nightfall. The next morning I got a call from FOB Khar Nikah with

Sgt Robson asking about the progress of works. I attempted to explain to him that the lads needed a rest

after the three long previous days to which he replied "Crack the whip, you're not on holiday, you're on

Ops". So I stumbled down from the sangar thinking about how I was going to get the lads up without

crushing morale. Unbeknown to me the radio was on loud enough for the whole PB to hear. Before I even

said anything, the lads had got back to work

On the final night, all that was left was to put a cam net over the sangar. The following morning, the sight

of the completed sangar bathed in the light of the rising Afghan sun was a sight to behold, well it was for

my section and I anyway. This was a physically demanding task but the lads dug deep and got it done.

Page 10: 20120223 Newsletter Issue Issue 15

Page 10

Armoured Support Group Operations

By SSgt 'Scotty the Nighthawk' Scott

I was asked by the 2IC of 37 if I was available to leave MOB NICE and go out into the unknown to com-mand the Armoured Support Group (ASG) who were midway through doing some 'Tankie stuff'

up in CF BURMA with 9 Troop.

Well, it just so happened, that Lt 'I'm too busy doing MS' Cole RE was actually busy for once and I could leave Price and go play on my beloved Tanks, a happy

Scotty indeed.

The ASG had by this stage al-ready been in Ouellette for nearly a week conducting opera-tions under the command of Sgt 'Fraz' Weatherston, but he decided to jack on the lads and go home for a spot of R&R. As I got off the helicopter in Ouellette I was met by him and the lucky few heading back to Bastion and home, I swear I

could see his smile from the air as we approached the HLS.

Now it was my first time in Ouellette with 9 Troop and for the whole tour these lot have given the impres-

sion it was like Stalingrad up here....LIARS!!!! It was like Butlins in Skegness but with better food!!!

I must at this point mention the fact that SSgt 'I need more blokes and equipment' Adcock did wonders to

support us while we were in his neck of the woods, and he makes a mean brew!

Capt Robb RE the BGE up there was most keen and anxious for us to do lots of 'Tankie stuff' in the area, and the Trojan under Cpl 'Turk' Stevens' command was raring to go to show off what his crew could achieve. The CRARRVs (Trojans in disguise driven by REME lads) were also in fine spirits and Sgt McMillan and his boys were gagging to get out and

play also.

Pretty soon the morning silence was disturbed by the sound of three Challenger tanks firing up and rolling

out the front gate at Ouellette to go plough the world.

Now the Trojan is the best support tank in the world, unbeatable in breaching tasks and providing fast, mo-bile engineer support to the Battle Group, and it was blatantly obvious that the tank did exactly what it says on the tin....a few 'bangs' were heard during the ploughing phase and it would seem a few rocks got caught in the tracks (well that's what I am telling my

mum anyway).

After we 'proved' ourselves on that mission pretty soon every Infantry call sign in BURMA wanted the Trojan and CRARRVs at their location to do some plough-

ing....cant imagine why.

Our trusty class 1 heater and plumber finds

what he suspects to be ‘a bit of a water leak…..’

BGE Busted -

tasche too

gringo…..

Consider your

bank balance

lighter by 2 x bot-

tles of Riose Moet

OC Engr Fd Sqn 1

Page 11: 20120223 Newsletter Issue Issue 15

Page 11

During my stay in Ouellette/Stalingrad I thought I had escaped from BGE NES (N) the famous Capt Carr RE.........but alas she somehow found a phone number to reach us on...it would seem the good Captain wanted us to go back to Hazrat, that camp full of crazy Danish Viking types. No longer a happy bunny

Scotty. (Hazrat has no showers and you have to cook for yourself....and I was fresh out of pot noodles).

To delay the trip to Hazrat Capt Robb 'Pimped' us out to the CF in BURMA and soon the ASG were rolling south down route Badger to go smash down a 'small compound' that was blocking line of sight on the route and causing some problems, a task ideal for ASG. 'Two hours work Staff' was the brief I got...........but when we turned up at this compound I soon realised dropping Basra Palace would have

been easier...the 'small compound' could've held off the 6th German Army it was that big.

The walls were over 4 meters high with a 2-4 metre deep anti-tank ditch running around the outside. Four

hours later the place was as flat as a car park and construction of the local 'Maccies' could commence.

After a quick drive to Hazrat and we were met by our friendly Danish mates and bunked down for the night. They had a task for us to level a spit of land that was causing some problems for them just outside

the Patrol base. By dinnertime the next day this also looked like a car park....

Having done all the 'Tankie stuff' we could do, we then stuck our Combat Engineer heads on and helped out around the base doing low level engineer tasks until the tank transporters rescued us and took us

back to Bastion where we then signed for the Python....but that's another story...

Still smiling …………………..

Page 12: 20120223 Newsletter Issue Issue 15

1 Man band

By Sapper ‘Gav’ Nicholls (Once upon a time 8 Troop)

8 Troop all think that it is a myth that I have actually been deployed on Op Herrick 15, however I would like to take this opportunity to tell every-one this is not the case. Unfortunately there is no smoke without fire. I have been working with the Police Advisory Team over the past few months, mentoring the Afghan National Police on how best to upgrade

their Check Points for the winter months.

The job involved patrolling to various CPs within Gereshk with a range of stores, the aim being to advise the ANP on how to repair and maintain their accommodation blocks and sangars. Firstly I went round the CPs and put together a stores list of what they required to upgrade the CPs. A month later the stores arrived and I tried to get the ANP to do the work, however due to the language barrier and other circumstances it

ended up being a Sapper Nicholl one man show!

I enjoyed my time with the ANP and I got to see the city of Gereshk and go out on patrols. We made a

difference within the city and I hope that the ANP will take in what they have been taught.

A day teaching the ANA

By Spr Calvin Bell 8 Troop

It was a cold dreary morning at PB Clifton when Lt Abbott and SSgt Norman sat me down in the tent to tell me the news. I was to fly back to camp Bastion and teach Combat Engineering to four Afghan National Army Sergeants in order for them to teach their own men in the future. On the positive side I got to wear a Sergeants rank slide. This must be the quickest triple battlefield promotion in the British Army, even if it

was just for show.

The first week was spent running round like a headless chicken trying to get all the stores together. Thanks to our trusty QMs department we managed to source everything we

needed. The stores were then used to construct a demonstration area.

We quickly found that working with the ANA was not going to be easy as the stu-dents did not arrive for classes. In this time we drank lots of Chi (herbal tea) with the ANA Training Sergeant-Major. The conversations were sometimes impossible as the interpreter was also AWOL. In his best Queens English the Sergeant Ma-jor announced that I was his 4th wife (he was already married to two local women

and his 3rd was WO2 Diggle from 5 Rifles).

Finally the students arrived! The first subject was metal detector training which they picked up rather quickly. At the end of the phase it was time for the students to teach back what they had been taught. It all started very well until a media officer turned up. The ANA have a short attention span as it is, however the added bonus of taking pictures meant they were far too busy staring at the cam-

era to teach anything. Eventually they passed that phase and we moved onto the next…

We arrived the next day and once again the students did not arrive. However this time the ANA Sergeant Major informed us it was due to operations and the course had been cancelled. Having been assured the reason was not because we were bad teachers, the quickest demotion in British Army history

happened, from Sgt back to Spr.

A helicopter ride later and I was back at PB Rahim with 8

Troop…

Struggling to open

the ISO container?

Students receiving on of

their first lessons

Page 12

Enjoying the sun

Page 13: 20120223 Newsletter Issue Issue 15

Page 13

Capt Davey Robb – BGE CF BURMA

By Capt Dave ‘Leg-end’ Robb

Nad-e-Ali North was my main focus for the build up training, even up to1400hrs on the day I deployed on the final exercise in August. Then STOP, apply safety catch and listen in to further instructions (including

a last minute recce to theatre, a cancelled holiday and nearly getting divorced before I even get married!).

I ended up in a little known place called CF Burma (still in Afghanistan). This change of scenery has also seen me working with my new adopted sidekicks – 37 Squadron and more importantly, 9 Troop aka „Brigade‟ (apparently I have some blame in them acquiring this novel name). And so the tale begins. „Don‟t worry, you‟ll have a handover‟. „Don‟t worry, there will only be a couple weeks of work for a section‟…thankfully I packed my hammer and saw in my battle-box and it hasn‟t been rested yet! Whilst Lt Dow and SSgt Adcock frantically organ-ised up to 5 sections, I had the joyous task of managing the expectations of the Battle-group, organising priorities of work, answering information requests, filling in task and winterisation trackers, completing trackers for the trackers and most importantly siting boards. For those that don‟t know, the siting board is a mystical gathering of individuals who, when a task is about to happen, all have an opinion on how it should, could and would be done. Once all points are agreed, one of the board members is normally replaced or goes on RnR and the deputy or new board member will then disagree with all previous decisions therefore the mysti-

cal gathering re-occurs and the process is repeated.

After the initial „break in‟ the tempo got to a more manageable level, I found time for extra pastimes to keep me busy. I managed to bluff myself onto a command-ers course for Jackal (I have the coolest recce vehicle of all BGEs – even OC 29 is jealous) and completed my Quad operators course as well. This has enabled me to „cut‟ around camp like Bob the Builder and do really beneficial tasks such as CF Comd‟s coat rack, CF Comd‟s bedside table – you see the pattern, however as OC 37 always tells me, „Keep your 2nd Reporting Officer happy – it‟s the way ahead in this man‟s Army‟. My other pastime during my tenure has been growing ginger droopy moustaches and pushing the boundaries with my side-

burns, which OC 37 hates and I love doing – only because he hates it!

Joking aside, I‟m having a whale of a time. Fortunately, along with my apprentice Sgt Andy Lapsley, I have been given carte blanche in helping to design the layout and CP design for the CF from the very beginning. Added to this I‟m going to claim that I „planned‟ the first operational use of Abacot (not 100% true but its good enough for a war story), managed to get ASG into the AO to carry out some very worthwhile tasks (I have never been armoured but I‟m now definitely a convert, thanks to Nighthawk and his crew) and been on various recces in and out of canals, culverts, ditches and compounds. Daily battles with the Afghans about their „permanent borrowing‟ of our stores and constant policing of the infantry to explain that although self-help is good, if you don‟t know what you‟re doing then it‟s not self

-help, it‟s called making a mess!!

I would like to thank all members of 37 Armd Engr Sqn for putting up with me and making my time in theatre actually quite enjoyable. De-

spite still being a member of 11 Sqn the Sergeant Major has done his best to convert me, mugs, t-shirts, rugby shirts, etc. If only he reduced his prices I would have bought more! Remember – sideys save

lives…

Confusion over the use

of Army issue clothing

Standing

proud of his

big white

thing….?

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Page 14

Out and about with 9 Troop and Trojan

By Spr Martin Talbot

Since my article in the last Trojan Times, I have been on many other adventures with 9 Troop and also the Armoured lads and their Trojan – far flung from my previous experiences in Camp Bastion! At the begin-ning of the month, I was driving the Command Vehicle for SSgt Scott, directing his beloved Trojan on mis-sions around CF BURMA. We spent a week clearing a plateau outside of camp and levelling the ground,

denying the insurgents the opportunity to use the ground to their advantage.

Towards the end of the task, we stayed in a place called Hazrat, where there was plenty of need for our engineering expertise. Our first job was to repair the heater for the tent we were staying in and to re-attach the door and patch up holes. After this we settled in and prepared the vehicles for the following days work. The plateau itself only took us 5 or 6 hours to complete, with the Trojan breaking up the hard ground and banks and the armoured recovery vehicle levelling off after it. While waiting for our escort back to Bas-tion, the rest of our time at Hazrat was spent on snagging jobs, like fitting lightning conductors to the sangars, measuring the depth of a bore hole and wind proofing the

kitchen and dining area.

After a stop off in Bastion for a cou-ple of days we left the Trojan crew behind and moved up to Pan Kalay, a small patrol base, to join the rest of 9 Troop. The Troop were already a good way into the task, expanding the base to give the infantry lads there more room to live in. When we arrived I cracked straight on with moving the supporting beams and helping to repair the roof in their operations room. On the second day I helped with setting up a new medical centre and ammunition bunker. Our duty chefs Spr „Coops‟ Cooper and Spr „Tomo‟ Thomson provided us with „all-ins‟ from the ration packs we had, apparently after sacking Spr „Super Mitch‟ Mitchell from cooking duties for trying to poison everyone before I got there! Whilst minding his own business, Su-per Mitch had an unfortunate close encounter with the floor, which caused great injury to himself, and eve-ryone else‟s ear drums, after we had 2 days of solid whinging about the graze on his knee. I have no

doubt in my mind that this will become another epic war story to add to his collection!

CRARRV out and about

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Page 15

G4 – It Doesn’t Just Happen

Sarcasm may be a low form of wit, but it isn‟t a crime is it? No….. Ok then, it‟s been great fun over the past twenty-odd weeks as every man and his dog from all over the planet has conducted inspection after inspection on the Sqn‟s G4 department. The last one brought the total to about 14 inspections over 7 months which now work towards the hand over as the grand finale. I must say that every single inspec-

tion has been a bonus and time well spent.

After one of the lads pointed out that the G4 Dept gets in-spected at least twice in every discipline and the troops get the square root of zero inspections, it just seemed fair to spread some of the pain and misery they cause by taking it to the troops and letting them have a bite of the proverbial

sandwich.

Over the past few days the G4 Dept (less SSgt Tony (FB) McDermott who has not had his umbilical cord severed on this trip to Afghanistan) have been collecting Air miles flying around the places ensuring the troops‟ kit is exactly as it should be and replicated in each location across the Sqn. It‟s a necessary and positive step closer to bringing the

whole Sqn back together in one piece.

The team descended from the air onto 8 Tp, welcomed with open arms like tax inspectors or double glazing salesmen. The team quickly adopted FOB routine, creating a fast moving visit packed with quality assurance, instruc-tion and advice. Arriving in a hypothetical chilly atmosphere and leaving in an even chillier actual one in the clear desert night, the G4 team departed leaving the guys with that much sought-after warm fuzzy feeling of being loved and looked after; a blanket and feeling they all hanker after. It seemed like we came and went like plumbers; desperately needed to fix the leak, but they didn‟t want to pay the bill and

were glad when we‟d gone.

The flight back was entertaining as the QM lead the loading for the flight out, positioned at the front right of the helicopter right next to the wide-open door in the beautifully clear frosty night. It would have been fine but they flew off in the wrong direction for 20 mins, so half an hour later under the rotors it was pretty chilly! In his own words through frozen lips and bleeps totally removed, “it was like hanging your head out of the car window at 100mph from Paderborn to Hanover in the snow”. He was gibbering - we were laughing which was even funnier when we found out the SQ, Dickie Page was keeping guard of the back doors to keep the wind chill off. They kept the wind off the rest of us though; how thoughtful…cheers boss, cheers

SQ!

We‟re now into the ground-rush period where in two weeks‟ time we‟ll be wel-coming in our successors, and running at 100mph will be the norm. With the pres-sure on again in a different way, time will literally fly by. Until next time, take care.

See you soon.

Looks exciting………?

G4 just not happening

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44 HQ & SP SQN NEWS

Officer Commanding Foreword

Hello again to the families, partners and friends of the HQ SQN

from Camp Bastion.

Unfortunately you will have to put up with me again fresh from my

stint as an Apache pilot, standing in for Major Chris Darke who is

away from us for a short time. I will try not to bore you too much,

so here we go.

The HQ Sqn has been maintaining the positive momentum and the

good work both inside Bastion and out in the forward locations. As

you would expect the work load has not slowed as we move to-

wards the Relief in Place (RIP) and in some ways it has increased,

particularly regarding the planning of future tasks which we will be

resourcing and setting up for our replacements to get their teeth into as they arrive.

The Construction Supervision cell has continued to support the forward operations and more notably de-

signing the booklet that identifies the resources and designs required to facilitate the building of any future

infrastructure. Reference material that is well over due and will be an asset to the incoming Fd Sqns. A

special mention goes out to Mac and his band of merry men in the resources troop who have the daunting

task of receiving and cataloguing the ISOs returning into Bastion.

For this forward I want to focus on Cbt Sp Tp, highlighting the work that they have done so far and the va-

riety of tasks conducted. As a Tp that is compiled of specialist drivers, they have played a vital role not

only utilising their given skill sets but also in a role more aligned to the infantry. Commanded by an out-

standing trio of SNCOs who are all SMEs in their given trade, they have notched up over 5000 miles

around Southern Helmand in one vehicle or another, over 30 tactical mission specific tasks as the FPM

and lately the Engr Works Group in conducting their structural recces around the Brigade battle space.

The ABLE Det have taken part in and operational strip out, predominantly in the dark, of a General Sup-

port Bridge that had been in constant use for some time to assist in the construction of a newer and more

permanent bridge in a record time of 1 hr 6 min. Throughout the last 8 weeks there have been crane Ops

operating on site with Fd Sqn 2, assisting in the bridge build on the Malvern crossing point. All of this has

been conducted from within the Tp manning therefore reducing the requirement for other members of the

Sqn to deploy onto the ground.

Finally with the days getting few until we all return to our love ones again I would like to thank you all again

for your unwavering support and warm wishes. As I sit here writing this and listening to your wonderful

messages on BFBS thank you.

Who said men can‟t multi task.

Regards

Andy

Page 16

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Bastion training Facility (BTF) Compound clearance Range (CCR)

Refurbishment

As with all things we often have to move forward and evolve our training

facilities where ever we are. This was no different with the BTF. A tired

and well used area of the training estate that has seen over 2000 pax pass

through it over the last 3 Op HERRICKS had to be refurbished before the

RIP happened between OP HERRICK 15 & 16.

The task that the HQ Sqn took on was to provide an up dated and more

substantial facility to conduct compound clearance in that would last for the

foreseeable future. To facilitate this there was a requirement to deconstruct (destroy) the old grenade

range. A quick and easy solution was to utilise the Armoured Support Group (ASG) and its ploughs. As

you can imagine tankies revelled in the task and it took less time than anticipated.

A blank canvas was created and LCpl Fong under the expert hands on

guidance of SSgt Hudson and Cpl Cooper gathered his disparate band of 8

men from around the Regt and cracked on. Tasked to construct the CCR

in less than a week LCpl Fong seemed somewhat upbeat until he saw the

size of the task at hand. 300m of mil 1 HESCO topped with 300m of mil 5

enhanced with a substantial amount of wood work in the form of stairs and

walkways for the DS. And backing boards for the targets.

Having picked his jaw up off the floor LCpl

Fong started the task. Unfortunately a small problem was identified on day

one when we were informed that no contractor would touch the request for ag-

gregate for the HESCO fill. Considering that the task was 90% HESCO and

10% wood, this could have had a massive impact on the whole time frame. As

always a combat engineer solution was found and utilising the abundance of

stockpiled sand (yes we are in a desert) the task moved on. Now not wanting

to be sceptical, I never really expected the task to finish on time as the date I

had given would purely serve to appease the client, how wrong could I be. As with all tasks that the Regt

has conducted it was driven and executed in true Sapper fashion with the lads working flat out trying to

meet the deadline. Maybe I should have told them that the date for completion was a work of fiction.

LCpl Fong or “dust monster” (which he resembled when he returned from task) and

his men, improvised and adapted to accomplish this in record time having to manhan-

dle over 7 tonnes of sand to the hard to reach baskets and even stopping to stain

over 25m of constructed walkway and stairs . This was commendable in the least

and a welcome addition to a busy range complex.

Page 16

Out with the old……….. and in with the new!

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77 TALISMAN SQUADRON NEWS

Officer Commanding Foreword

The men and women of the TALISMAN Squadron continue to do an outstanding job out here in Helmand

province in a testing environment and often

under immense pressure. Since the start of

the tour the number of places we have been

required to go to as UK Forces have taken

over additional parts of the AO. We have got

to know this new terrain quickly and enabled

the relatively safe resupply of our troops

based here. We have also cleared more and

more high threat routes and this has allowed

new Afghan National Security Force bases to

be built and the security bubble to grow in to

contested space.

The last couple of weeks have been particu-

larly challenging and required the Troops to

draw on all their training and experience to

date. This period has included our first operation in direct support of the Afghan National Army which was

an experience to say the least. Despite difficulties 10 Troop achieved their mission and brought back

plenty of lessons for the future.

In between operations we remain focussed on maintaining our high level of training, constantly fine tuning

the way we do business on the ground. There has also been time to keep fit and some recently took ad-

vantage of a visiting show of comedians and bands. We are also busy preparing for our handover and

return to Paderborn. Bring it on!

We are thinking of you all braving the cold in Germany and UK and can‟t wait to be back with you for the

summer.

Take care and go well,

Sam Hughes (Officer Commanding)

Page 18

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The 10 Troop Awards Ceremony

By LCpl Jeeves Butler

1. The Sleeping Beauty Award, for the individual who spends the most time in bed.

Spr 'Billy Essex' Lack. I've never known anyone who can sleep so late after being in bed

so early, it's pretty impressive.

2. The 'Just For Men' Award, for the individual with most grey hair

What can I say, he's the newest member of the Silver Fox Squad, and at such a young

age.

3. The Dodge Duck Dip Dive Dodge Award, for the individual who has done the least

physical exercise.

For a man who does no physical off his own back, he's still a sub 9 minute runner, don't know

how, it‟s quite annoying.

4. The Laser Hair Surgery Award, for the individual who has lost the most hair on tour.

Spr 'Dickie' Day. At his age he wasn't bad at the beginning of the tour, but as the tour pro-

gressed, as did his hair line, and now the crown has started........

5. The Work Horse of The Year Award, for the individual who has worked above

and beyond their duty....NOT!

What can I say, never been a work horse!

6. The Film Critic of The Year, for the individual with the best opinion towards

films.

LCpl Bill Hill. LCpl Hill has a unique opinion on everything, especially films. For a film everyone likes, LCpl

Hill's opinion, and I quote "s**t" what about......"s**t", in fact any film the general public likes...."s**t", gotta

love the bloke though.

7. The Body Builder of The Year, for the individual.

Starting the tour with good intensions, buying a big tub of protein was the limit of that

intention, but he tries.

8. The Skive to Survive Award, for the individual who has escaped from doing any work.........ever!

The Royal Artillery in General

9. The British Army Air Miles Award, for the individual who has flapped the

most.

LCpl Dave Walker. Wow, I think he tried to break the world record for highest altitude

without breathing equipment, set in 1934 by Victor Herman at 24000 feet just to let

you all know.

10. The Trojan Times Man of the Year.

The Man, The Legend, me, because I wrote this article, with a little help of course.

Page 19

Saluting the

silver fox

Running

through

choice?

No.2

No.3

No.5

A different version of Op Massive

No.7

The RA at their best!

No.8

No.10

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Just for fun..............

Page 20

Senator Roark's son (sin city)

Fat B*****D

Kyle (Road Trip)

Sadsack (raggy dolls)

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Page 21

Yogi Bear

Rooney

Penguin (batman)

Page 22: 20120223 Newsletter Issue Issue 15

Another 11 Troop Tale

By SSgt Steve Salter

Well, as we head into what the officers put as a “quiet time”, we on the ground floor have noticed no change, with maintenance of vehicles and equipment and an eye to making it all perfect for the keenly

awaited handover towards the end of March.

It is with sad regret that I must announce the loss of LCpl “Badger” Baillie and Spr “Confused.com” Hop-kins from the Tp to the G4 monster that is 44 resources. By all accounts, their integration went smoothly and they can now recognise items by NATO Stock Numbers instead of names like normal folk. 11 Tp wish

them well on the path to QM's grumpiness and cynicism.

The Ops are still steady, with a just bit more clean up between each one as each run out is still capable of bringing new surprise's and tests to our train-ing but, as always, the boys do us proud and react to each situation with the same professionalism that they have had from the start. Even Cpl Kev “I'm MT me” Dickson was released of the shackles that keep him desk bound and he was treated to a couple of jaunts as lead BUFFALO, which by all ac-counts made a nice change from giving everyone else the winning answers

to the BFBS daily quiz!

Of note in the last few weeks, LBdr Dan Parker managed to remain awake for an entire Combat Logistic Patrol (CLP) task, an achievement of great significance as he's normally asleep before we leave Bastion. With Dan and Bdr Alfie Alfred getting in more CLP T-Hawk flights, to try and cement the title of most

flights on H-15...... I am sure Bdr Albers will pipe up to this!

Spr “Kinky Wizard” Blanchard was excited to return from R&R to get on with the greasing of the vehicles, but sadly he is still waiting for his grease partner Spr Jack Goode to return from his R&R. Kinky was heard to say, “I don't feel right lubing the shafts without Jack”. (note to those left behind: please don't

underestimate the bonds made on tour!)

Spr Paul “I Love Signals” Hudson has again been multi tasking, but as any signaller will tell you their true love is radios. He was mostly used as Staff's cover man while on the ground in the last Op. Is there no end to this man's

talents? Answers on a postcard please!

The rest of 11 Tp have all been busy, either supporting the other troops or covering the Sqn‟s other task's. Spr “Camp Security” Archbold is now a Sanger specialist, along with Spr “REME's favourite” Van-Vollenstee still pushing for top suck up, oops

sorry efficient driver!

Even Spr “Quinn-dog” Quinn is starting a new look-a-like craze spreading

across the Sqn, what do you think?

As the last lot of R&R is under way, we now look forward to the handover. Hopefully we will have no more floods (although this weekend is not looking good) and as we approach the very real and almost touchable finishing line, we will keep our foot very firmly on the gas but I‟m sure we will keep half an eye on the

prize!

Page 22

Ready for anything?

Looks like Giggs?

The team

Who are you pointing at?

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Page 22

12 Troop Bonding and World Records By Spr Ward

After a particularly busy time on Ops, the troop had a little downtime prior to our next move out of the gate.

Staff decided we deserved a spot of „Trans Atlantic‟ training so, after a restless night due to the excite-

ment, 12 Troop paraded bright and early with packed lunches and permission slips, ready for our trip to

the American Flight Line to learn about some of the magnificent American

flying machines. We also went to find out why the Americans insist on buzz-

ing our tents every night; as it turns out, it‟s because they want the T-HAWK

Teams to see what a real airborne vehicle is!

After a quick brief on various makes and models used by the Americans,

including their capabilities, we went out onto the airstrip to get hands on, but

not before asking if any of their standard issue iPads were going free to a

good home.

After a quick look in the HUEY and duty photos of people trying to look cool

and mostly failing, we moved onto

the COBRA. We were told it has

quite a small cockpit; obviously we

had to get our two biggest guys into

it. After a bit of shoe-horning, Spr

Bill Matley was in position and

ready to pull his best catalogue

pose alongside LCpl Ray Kositino.

As we left the COBRA hangar onto

our next appointment, it became

clear we were one man down. 5 minutes of searching later, LCpl Pete

Sparks was found in the foot well of the COBRA‟s rear seat, unable to reach the handle and steps. After

being safely lifted down to terra firma, we then continued on our merry way to the OSPREY‟s.

These machines are quite impressive due to the speed and time to take off, but they do look very

cramped, I foresee lots of soldiers stomachs turning whilst flying around in the back of one of these. Lastly

we moved onto the SUPER STALLION‟s. We were told these were built in the 60‟s; I was surprised they

were still in use, however they still do their job well.

Morning over, we left the Flight Line for lunch, looking forward to seeing a World Record attempt later. At

1430, the whole Troop, plus other hopeful spectators from the rest of the Squadron, lined the pathway

running from the welfare phones to the TALISMAN sign. This would be the scene for Spr Greg Banda‟s

attempt at the 100m world record, looking to beat 9.58sec. It was a sunny afternoon, with a light cool

breeze, as Banda stepped up to his mark. (It reminded me of Daley Thompson in the old Lucozade ad-

vert). As the whistle went, Iron Maiden was playing in my head, as Spr Banda went screaming past people

at the speed of not one, not two, but one thousand Gazelles! Dust was flying up as each foot barely

seemed to hit the ground. Five seconds in and I‟m not sure if it was a couple of spectators smoking, but a

cloud had formed, as if Spr Banda was about to be the first human to break the sound barrier on foot.

Then, out of nowhere, what looked like a small animal, jumped out in front of Spr Banda, putting him off

his stride. On further inspection, it turned out LCpl Pete Sparks had fallen down a crack in the pavement

and was waving for help! Now off pace and trying his hardest to recover, Spr Banda came in at 13 sec-

onds saying he will try again.

OSPREY - American aircraft

Enjoying a little down time

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Page 24

For the evening‟s frolics, 12 Troop then assembled again for a bit of troop bonding up at the steakhouse

on Bastion 0. After several lattes, games of pool and table football, we sat down to see what food they had

to offer, all except for LCpl Ray Kositino, who was informed there were neither enough Chefs nor food to

cater for his needs!

There were awards to be handed out amongst

the troop covering various categories. The Most

Hair Lost On Tour Award was a closely fought

subject between Spr Bill Matley and Spr Greg

Banda, but like a shining beacon (literally), it

was awarded to Spr Grant Nel, who later stated

“ I can‟t help having massive amounts of testos-

terone coursing through my body because I‟m a

real man”.

The Billy Blagger Award AKA Story Topper,

Tommy Two S**ts, went to Bdr Scouse Albers,

who on receiving said award, was quoted say-

ing “I once had two of these awards when I was

younger and melted them down into an FA Cup

replica, which was later swapped for the real

one and loaned to my favourite team Everton

for a season”.

Lastly there was the Ali G Award, which is for the guy or girl with more gear than a transforming Swiss

Army Knife. This went to Cpl „G‟ Taylor, who tweeted from his watch to his iPad, onwards to 15 state-of-

the-art satellites, to a laser module “a sincere thank you”.

The Troop

The Troop again - wishing we were pilots

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Life in the LAD

By Cfn Duncan Simpson

Welcome back to another thrilling instalment of the LAD‟s segment of the Trojan Times. It's all been hap-pening down in the fitter section these past few weeks and, as you already know from reading the last Trojan Times, we have a new arrival, Cfn Josh „delicate flower‟ Barnes who has now had his baptism of fire on his first deliberate op out in the badlands of Helmand Province. Unfortunately he came back abso-lutely broken and proclaimed that he has never cried so much in his life and didn‟t bring enough spare pants! Lucky for Cfn Barnes, Tiff “it‟s not sarcasm it‟s genuine concern” Simpson is TRIM trained and was quick to dish out the hugs and tissues. You will be glad to hear that Cfn Barnes' eyes are now finally dry. On to more serious affairs... Darts! The fitter section takes great pride in our ability to play darts and los-ing is a grave dishonour and that is why it must have cut deep into the pride of the senior‟s double team, Tiff Simpson and Sgt Al Logan when they lost 7 times to the superior junior team who lost only twice. For the junior team consisting of me (Cfn Duncan Simpson) and Cfn Scott “sidekick” Wainwright, it was a very

good day for darts indeed.

The Board of Officers inspection and checks, which took place a few weeks ago, hit the fitter section head on. As expected the section breezed through it without any issues. Other than the board of officers, work has been steady. It would be a safe bet to say that the Fitter section has one thing on the fore front of the minds at this stage of the tour and that‟s the handover of the kit and the end of our operational deploy-ment. It has been a long time coming and again we would all like to thank family and friends for your con-

tinued support throughout the tour.

The lads prepare for the bad

weather ahead

Barnsey Hamlet Moment

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Page 33

PADRE’S PROGRESS

Whilst a chaplain with the Wiltshire Army Cadets a few years ago I was named the „pink pa-dre‟ (something to do with a pink „camouflage‟ T shirt I used to wear in the evenings on summer camp.) Whilst here in Bastion I have been referred to as the „pedalling pa-dre‟ due to my main mode of transport (though a rear tyre puncture and no inner tube available that fits at the moment has reduced me to walking and bussing around again). However, after my re-turn from my R and R 10 days ago I deserve to be called the „pampered‟ padre… After a busy first week back in the UK of visiting guys at Headley Court and QEH; of staying with my parents and seeing my family; of retail therapy with my daughter; of those few days of irritability with old ladies in supermarkets….”just make up your mind and get to the queue” attitude which kicked in for me from I don‟t know where; it was then that my husband took me away from all that. I had anticipated a few days away in a quiet cosy hotel in the Cotswolds perhaps which would have been lovely. BUT... I was treated to 4 days away at Champneys Health Spa in Hampshire! Guys…take your girls there; girls, get your guys to take you there!! I was massaged, oiled, wrapped, had facials, had tha lassotherapy (look it up…I had to beforehand!), went swimming twice a day, did spin classes and a dance class, and ate the most amazing food. Total pamper-ing. I became slightly concerned when Frank seemed to get into the whole wandering around all day in the white towelling robe and slippers thing…. I was more comfortable in track suit bottoms and T shirt. It was a wonderful time and I would thoroughly recommend the opportunity. There were a num-ber of mother/daughter combinations so I am hoping my daughter does not get to read this and get ideas! There was a sense of the surreal about it for me in contrast with how I have been living for the last 4 months that was occasionally difficult to come to terms with. Or maybe it was some-thing to do with the sense that I could be on some film set as a cross between the health spa scenes in one of the Sean Connery Bond films and One Flew Over The Cuckoo‟s Nest!! But any-way…thank you, Frank. Yet now I am back life has kicked in as before. A very busy past week or so with a 2 day visit to theatre of the Chaplain-General plus the head representatives of the sending churches of the chaplains. Every chaplain belongs to one of the denominations of the Christian church and so are „released‟ by those denominations to serve in the Royal Army Chaplains‟ Dept, as opposed to serving in a parish or church somewhere. Therefore they have an interest in our work…how we minister…and how we can recruit more priests and ministers. I have also visited more PBs this week and the bridge site which was an occasion of excitement and pride as the bridge finally completed its last „reach‟ across the canal. It certainly was for me and I know it was for everyone else as well…in spite of the fact that they may not yet admit to it in quite the same way. It was a “the bridge has landed” moment! Oh…and the Biblical precedent for such pampering on my R and R? Try reading the Old Testa-ment book called Song of Songs…”pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes.” Or when the woman pours fragrant oil over Christ‟s head. We all need such treatment at some time… God keep you Pampered Padre Clare Callanan.

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As we draw to the conclusion of our time in Afghanistan it is natural to look back and reflect upon what has gone before. What affect have we had on Afghanistan and what is the future? Will any-thing we've done be remembered? Some important questions no doubt but there is more to this

than meets the eye and thus I have complied those questions that all of us really want answered.

How many 2ICs griping does it take to cause the Regi 2ICs head to implode?

What exactly has Capt Jimmy Ryan done this tour?

Who is the slim, handsome devil masquerading as Capt Shaun Mayland in QM 29 department?

Why do we have so many Ginger officers in the Regiment? (7, we have 7!)

How does Maj Guy Boxall eat all that Haribo and Coke and still have teeth?

Just how many courses has Capt Will Taylor managed to squeeze into his 6 month tour? (we think we've

counted 4)

Just how badly timed was Capt Alanda Scott's joke about the COs bed space?

Has anyone seen OC 11? Last seen wondering around chuckling happily to himself'!

Has anyone seen Capt Steve Port run? Are those legs he is walking around on or built in Ski poles?

Is Capt Louisa Gostling encyclopaedic knowledge of JSPs actually because she is a robot?

How many of the LIMs will return in one piece from Miami?

How many crates does Capt Antony Gleave owe for his interview on BFBS?

Has anyone ever seen WO2 (SSM) Steve Driver eat any vegetables?

What exactly does Lt Emily Ball do and where does she belong, last seen floating around an Ops room

near you?

Does G4 really just happen?

Just how desperate is Capt Dave Robb to be in 37 Armd Engr Sqn? (He has bought more T-shirts, Mugs

and memorabilia than anyone else!)

Is anyone going to tell the Chief of Staff that Capt Nick Piper thinks the COS's job is… and I quote 'really

easy'?

Just when will Capt Kevan Cameron man up and pop the question?

Just why does Capt Alanda Scott have such massive hands?

Is Capt Toby Green clinically insane or is he just the re-incarnation of the Joker from Batman?

Just how many girlfriends has Capt Andy 'Bobby' Bostock had on this tour?

Is there any kit that the CO doesn't have? (If you know of anything you must tell the RSM immediately so

this can be rectified)

Has anyone seen Maj Steve White's beer belly? Missing in action Sep 2011 - Feb 2012.

Where exactly has Regimental Sergeant Major Mutch buried the bodies of those he has killed?

Answers on a postcard to Capt Bernie Peake.

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Afghanistan specific terms

Op - Operation, mission, task (not surgery)

PB - Patrol Base

CP - Check Point

SANGAR - A watch tower which is manned 24 hours a day to provide protection to a base

Stag - standing in the sangar keeping watch and providing protection

JOB - Joint Operating Base

FOB - Forward Operating Base

NES (S) - Nahr-e Saraj South

NES (N) - Nahr-e Saraj North

NDA - Nad-e Ali

TFH - Task Force Helmand

ISAF - International Security Assistance Force

ANSF - Afghanistan National Security Force

ANA - Afghan National Army

ANP - Afghan National Police

IED - Improvised Explosive Device

SAF - Small Arms Fire

SOP - Standard Operating procedure

Formations

Sect - Section

Tp - Troop

Armd Engr Sqn - Armoured Engineer Squadron

Fd Engr Sqn - Field Engineer Squadron

Hq & Sp Sqn - Headquarters and Support

Squadron

Ranks

Spr - Sapper

LCpl - Lance Corporal

Cpl - Corporal

Sgt - Sergeant

SSgt - Staff Sergeant

WO2 - Warrant Officer Second Class

WO1 - Warrant Officer First Class

Lt - Lieutenant

Capt - Captain

Maj - Major

Lt Col - Lieutenant Colonel

Glossary

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Page 41

HESCO - Large flat packed containers made of thick strong wire containing a large sandbag.

The sandbag is filled with sand to produce a large protective brick. The individual HESCO blocks

are then used like giant bricks to produce a protective wall for our bases.

HLS - Helicopter Landing Site

Barma - Our drill used to find Improvised Explosive Devices with a hand held metal detector.

Equipment

MASTIFF - Large armoured truck with a with a heavy machine gun for protection.

TALISMAN - A series of vehicles used to clear a route of improvised explosive devices.

HUSKY - Another type of large armoured vehicle.

MWT - Medium wheeled tractor (dump truck).

SLDT(P) - Self Loading Dump Truck (Protected) - A small dump truck.

Apache - Ugly looking attack helicopter.

Chinook - Large helicopter featured in the film Big Friendly Giant.

Sea-king - Royal Navy helicopter used as search and rescue in the UK.

Merlin - Medium to large Royal Air Force and Navy helicopter used to move Troops around from

base to base.

Messages from the Editor

We are nearly there, HERRICK 15 will shortly be coming to an end and 35 Engineer Regimental Group

will be heading home. There will be lots of celebrations when we get home. The information about these

celebrations can be found on ArmyNet linked to Facebook or alternatively all the information has been

passed to your loved ones, so the next time they phone make sure you ask for all the information. Make

sure you know what is happening where and when so that you can sit back relax and enjoy having your

loved ones at home.

If you hear any news about anything that might have happened in Afghanistan, which gives you cause for

concern in any way, please get in touch with the Welfare Office on +495251101213. We will ensure that

the team holds the most up to date and accurate information so that they will be able to advise you appro-

priately or deal with the issue. In the event of any casualties they will be able to clarify the situation, in ac-

cordance with the wishes of the individual or family. Many thanks