20 Problems Only Skyrim Fans Will Understand - GameBasin.com

8/11/2019 20 Problems Only Skyrim Fans Will Understand - GameBasin.com

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20 Problems Only Skyrim Fans Will

Understand

http://www.gamebasin.com/news/20-problems-only-skyrim-fans-will-

understand

Whenwasthelasttimeyoudevotedhundredsofhourstosomethingthatwasntwork,studyor

sleeping?Well

since

youre

reading

this,

the

obvious

answer

is

almost

certainly

only

one

thing.

In

fact,theaforementioned activitiesarenothingbuthindrancesonceyoustartyournewlife;your

reallife,inSkyrim.DoyoureallywanttogotothatfriendspartyonFriday?Wellofcoursenot

youvegotserioussmithingtoattendto,perkstounlockanddragonstoslaydammit!Letsbefair,

the outside world looks absolutely dire compared to the epically handcrafted lands of

Tamrielanyway.Jump200gaminghoursintothefutureandyounowownhousesineverypossible

Hold of Skyrim;area proud Harbinger of the Companions andthe Listener of the Dark

Brotherhood.YoureaNightingale;haverestoredtheThievesGuildtotheultimatestrengthand

arenow(dependingonyourchoices)abadassVampireLordwithyourveryowncastle.Nowthats

quitean

impressive

CV;

but

its

not

an

easy

one

to

accomplish.

Here

are

the

most

frustrating

(and

equallyhilarious)Skyrimproblemsweveallencounteredatsomepointinourepicjourneythrough

Tamriel.

20. Missing Something Important During A Cut

Scene Because Youre Too Busy Admiring

Yourself In Third Person


2/13

Youspentagood40minutescraftingthefaceofyourcharacter,onlytoneverseeit.Naturallythen,

youregonnacheckyofineselfwhenthatcutscenecomeson.ItsonlywhentheJarlhasfinished

speakingandyouhaveabsolutelynoideawhatyouredoingthatyouregretit.

19. Realising Youve Spent More Time Staring

At Loading Screens Than Actually Playing

Skyrim

Three thingswe spendmostofour timedoingon Skyrim: killing things, stealing things and

waitingforthegametoload.AtleastwecanincreasethealreadyenlargedSkyrimtriviasectionof

ourbrain

while

we

twiddle

our

thumbs

on

the

controller.


3/13

18. Regretting The Person You Chose To Marry,

And Never Being Able To Divorce Them

Skyrim:aworldwheremassmurderisroutine,butadulteryisoutofthequestion.Theonlyway

youcangetridofapartnerisbybeingatotalnastybuggerandkillingthem,whichstillleavesyou

unabletomarryagain,evenifyoucontinuetoweartheAmuletofMara.Soyouremaininaloveless

marriagewith awomanwho sells lockpicks in your livingroom,occasionallymakes food, and

doesntseemtomindtheotherwomanyouspendthemajorityofyourtimewith(thatjustso

happenstobelivinginyourbedroom).Hey,itmightwork

17. Finding A Ridiculous Glitch, And

LOVING It

The ultimate


4/13

feeling coming across a backwardsflyingdragon or seeing a villager halfmorphed with a

parsnip eventhoughovertimemosthavebeenpatchedout,Skyrimisabevyofhilaritywhenit

comestostupidvisualglitches.UnlessyouplayPC,thatis,inwhichcasetheresacrazyamount

ofmods/exploitstodiscover thatll let you tweak everything from randomly falling cheese to

multiplefollowers.Youlucky,luckypeople.

16. Discovering About 90% Of People You Meet

Are Racist

TheragingracismamongtheHoldsofSkyrimbecomesobviousthemomentyoubegininteracting

withcharacters.WhetheritsamereDamnElvesorafullblownIcantbelieveweletprovincials

likeyouwanderSkyrim(ouch),youllprobablyhavegottenyourselfintoafewpubbrawlsdueto

it.

15. Dreaming About Skyrim More Than You Dream

About Your Own Life


5/13

Whether itsbeingservedbyAelatheHuntress inBurgerKing,fightingoffDraugrs inyourback

gardenorcomingintoworktofindaninfestationofMudcrabs:therecomesatimewhenSkyrim

worldnotonlystartsto infiltrateyourthoughts intheworkingday,butentersdeep insideyour

unconsciousmindtoo.Reallife?Whatisthisdevilryyouspeakof?

14. Having To Walk The Entire Journey To

Whiterun Because Youre Too Greedy To Drop

Items

Youcannotfasttravelwhileoverencumbered.Youarecarryingtoomuchtobeabletorun.

Absolutefirst

world

problems.

Whats

worse

is

the

fact

your

follower

is

maxed

out

on

capacity,

too.Time for the excruciatingly slow crawl back homewhere youll find yourself selling cack


6/13

tonnesofrubbishtomerchants,simplytolevelupyourspeech,leadingtomoreperks;allsoyou

cansellmorerubbishtothem.Ah,theviciouscircleofgreedandcommerce.

13. Breaking A Dozen Lockpicks To Open A

Master Locked Chest, Only To Find Two Gold

And A Potato Inside

Oh.

Everyones.God.

Lockpicking

in

Skyrim

isnt

the

most

difficult

of

tasks,

but

it

can

soon

turn

you

Hulkish ifyourendlesstwiddling isdelayingaquest.Notforgettingtheabsoluteviolentrageas

yourlastlockpicksnaps.

12. Having More Gold Then Youll Ever Need,

Yet Still Scouring Every Urn For 3 Coins

Which May Or May Not Be There


7/13

Itsphysicallyimpossibletoresistrunningpastaselectionofurnswithoutlooting:eveniftheyre

empty,wesimplycanthelpourselves.Thesamegoesforprettymuchanythingwecanpickup

well break our necks beforewe dart past awildflowerpatchwithout grabbing em. The only

exceptioniswoodenbowlswhichyoullpickupEVERYTIMEwithoutintendingto.

11. Going On A Killing Spree And Accidentally

Saving The Game

Wait!IknowyouAfteratoughdayatwork,sometimesallyouneedisamurderousrampage

onSkyrimtomakeitallbetter.Virtualmassacresarethestressrelieftheydonttellyouaboutat

thedoctors,andboydotheywork allupuntilthepointyoufumbleontothatSavebuttonrather

thanthe

Load.

Hello,

Prison.


8/13

10. When Your Horse Jumps Into Battle To Help

You Fight And Dies

Youcanthelpbutfeelalittleattachedtoyourfirsthorse,sowhenyourvaliantsteedjumpsinto

tackleanenemyitcanallbecomealittleemotional.Nottomentionthats1000ingolddown

theshoot.ThenyouacquireShadowmere,andthingsgetpersonal(thatis,ifhehasntgonemissing

yet).Keepthosedamnarrowsawayfromthysteed,bitches.

9. Realising Your Hoarding Obsession Is

Getting Out Of Control


9/13

Skyrimhoardingisadebilitatingdisease.Pilingasmanyinanimateobjectsaspossibleonthefloor

ofyourhomeandaccumulatingtheentiretyofyourgemsandgoldingotsinthecellar:itcanall

getverySmaugish.Itswhenyoustartgettingnaked,oilingyourselfupandwrithingthroughitall

though,thatyouneedtostartworrying.Awordofadvice: ifyoutrystackingstuff immediately

afterdropping,itwontstaytherethenexttimeyouloadin,insteadgoingrightbacktotheposition

it wasdropped (as you may have already annoyingly discovered) so once youve dropped

something,leave,THENreturntotheroomandarrangetheminyourhoarderesquefashion.Less

lag,andeasierstacking.Getgoing,youtruly,trulyoutrageousperson.

8. Thinking Someone Is Friendly Then Suddenly

Hearing The Words Never Should Have Come

Here

WevelearnttotrustnobodyinSkyrim:seeminglyapproachablebanditscanturnviciousinseconds,

andsuddenlyturntoangryreddotsonyourradar.Cantwealljustbefriends?Timetogettheaxe

out.

7. Realising You Cant Actually Thuum

In Real Life


10/13

You

know

thoseslowwalkingpeopleyoufindinyourwaywhenrushingthroughtown?Imagineifyoucould

literallyshoutthemoutthewaynowthatwouldbeawesome.Nottomentionthefactyoudhave

the best party trick ever and probablymake loads ofmoney on some Extraordinary Bodies

Channel4documentary.Thatsaid,thoseslowwalkers(inSkyrimreality)areprobablyjustpoor

overencumbered travellers trudgingbackhome todropoffabackbreakingamountofdragon

bone.

6. Having Arachnophobia And Playing Skyrim

Holy spider

balls.Welcometoyourgreatestfear,cometrue.Themomentyouseemoundsofominouswebon

BleakFallsBarrowisthemomentyourcontrollerbeginstosuffocatefromyourprofuselysweaty

palms.IstheGoldenClawreallyworththis?


11/13

5. Accidentally Fus Ro Dah-ing

Someone Youre Sneaking Up On

Even worse,

whenyoureonamountaintopandhittheshoutbuttoninsteadofthesprintbutton;resultingin

youshootingoffaclifftoyourdeath.Goodjob,NoobyNoobingtonofNoobrim.

4. When A Quest-Giver Is Killed Before You

Get Back To Them

Soyouve

gone

on

alovely

little

bear

killing

quest

for

Aela

the

Huntress,

and

fast

traveled

to

Windhelm to drop some stuff off at the house first.When you get there,youre greeted by


12/13

acouriersayingthatAeladiedand leftyou inheritance. Inheritance? Iwanttofinishthisquest

dammit!Whatsworseiswhenyourefollowingthewaypointformilesuponmilestofindnothing

butacorpseatyourdestination.Great.

3. Forgetting To Save After An Epic

AccomplishmentAnd Then Dying

Possiblythe

worst

thing

agamer

can

ever

do.

Youve

just

spent

your

entire

evening

fighting

torturouslythroughaseriesofcaves,onlytogetpastthemanddiewithouthavingactuallysaved.

Thefinalkickintheteeth?DiscoveringtheAutosaveisntyourfriendeither.Herewegoagain

2. When The Battle Music Starts, And You Know

Sh*t Just Got Real

HUH.HUEA.HUH!Thenallofa suddenDRAGON. Itusuallyhappensat thepointyouhaveno

potions,noarrowsandamereinchonyourhealthbar.Itsworthitthough;forthemomentyou

finally land that killing blow in Sovngarde and watch Alduins hide blow off at the most

intensecrescendo of the song. Most epic sh*t in the world, right there. Be sure to listen to

thisduringyournextworkout,youwontregret it.Beastmode:activateDovahkiin,Dovahkiin,

forthesakeofSkyrim!


13/13

1. Realising Youve Completed 100% Of The

Achievements, To Find Out Bethesda Are Not

Releasing Any More DLC

Isthisit?Isthistheend?Solong,myfrienditsbeenemotional.ManyRimmerssaythatthegame

doesntend,which is true toanextent if youcount the radiantquests.Devotedhardcore

playerswhohavediscoveredeverylocation,clearedalldungeons,finishedallstorylinesandside

quests,own(andhavebuilt)housesineverycity,haveallthewordsofpower,acquiredfullsetsof

armour,spells,weaponsetc (andhavedonethiswithacharacterofeveryrace)havetheright

toofficiallymaybesaytheyvecompletedthegame.Still,itcouldgetinsanelyboringtaking

multipleplaythroughstosuchlevels,andyoullprobablyhavenofriendsleftintherealworld.

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20 Problems Only Skyrim Fans Will Understand - GameBasin.com