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Anger Management

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Introduction• Anger is an extremely powerful emotion, and an

inability to keep it under control can lead to serious problems in relationships, career, and health.

• Anger management will help you prevent or cope with anger within yourself and/or in others.

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Importance

• Anger is probably the most poorly handled emotion in our society.

• Anger that is aggressive or hostile has no place in the Navy.

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Objective

Upon completion of this lesson, you will be able to:

– define and explain many aspects of anger. – explain how to manage anger effectively.

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Scenario

WO Lacey, assigned to the Air Department, had been on deployment for five months. It was a little tougher this time for the Warrant. It seemed that while he was away, everything that could go wrong with his house and family car had. The expenses were draining his "special" savings account. He was saving extra money to surprise his family with a well-deserved vacation upon return from deployment.

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Scenario Continued

Today he is feeling overwhelmingly frustrated because he is helpless to take care of the problems his wife has to handle without him. He is also feeling increasing disappointment as he realizes his dream vacation is beginning to disappear along with the extra money spent on the house and car.

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Scenario Continued

Lacey is very professional and keeps pressing on, but seems to be battling exhaustion at the end of most days. He does not feel like eating. He just wants to sleep. His performance and health are both declining. Everyone around him knows every little annoyance in his life by his outwardly expressed irritation. His behavior has changed from pleasant to hostile toward anyone who crosses his path.

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Scenario Continued

One of his Sailors is constantly finding ways to get in trouble. He has stood before the Skipper at mast on more than one occasion because of this Sailor. The Leading Petty Officer approaches the WO with the special Sailor in tow. The LPO informs the WO the Sailor has been put on report for being disrespectful to another Officer. In front of division personnel, WO Lacey unleashed uncontrollable anger towards the Sailor, screaming at him and pinning him up against the bulkhead by his throat.

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Outline

• What is Anger?• Expressing Your Anger• Managing Your Anger

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What is Anger?

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Introduction

• Everyone knows what anger is, and we’ve all felt it, whether as fleeting annoyance or as full-fledged rage.

• Anger is a completely normal, and usually healthy, human emotion.

• But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems: problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life.

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Definition

• Anger is an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage.

• Anger is a common feeling, thought, and behavior. It is not so much the feeling or the thought that is the trouble – it is what we do when we are angry that is the issue.

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What Causes It?

• Anger can be caused by external or internal events.

• However, it is not the event itself that causes anger, rather the importance and meaning placed on the event by an individual.

• What makes one person angry may not have the same effect on someone else.

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Problems Caused By Anger

• Hypertension, high blood pressure, and depression.

• Greater risk of dying from coronary heart disease.

• Weaker immune systems.• Shorter life spans.• Pathological expressions of that anger,

such as getting back at people indirectly, putting others down, and criticizing everything.

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The emotional state that varies from mild irritation to intense fury is known as _______.

Anger

Annoyance

Bliss

Desperation

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Correct!

• Correct. • The emotional state that varies from mild

irritation to intense fury is known as anger.

BACK NEXT

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Incorrect!

• Consider your options and try again!• This is not the emotional state that varies

from mild irritation to intense fury.

BACK

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Anger is an abnormal destructive emotion that ruins your overall quality of life.

TRUE FALSE

,

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Correct!

• The statement is false.• Anger is a normal, healthy emotion unless it

gets out of control.

NEXTBACK

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Incorrect!

• This statement is not true. • Anger is a normal, healthy emotion unless it

gets out of control.

BACK

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Consider situations in which you’ve been angry or in which you’ve seen others angry. Which statement best describes the causes of anger?

Quiet, serious people are most likely to have hair-trigger responses in anger.

All people react angrily to practical jokes.

Depends on the person. What doesn’t bother one person will infuriate another.

Fun-loving people rarely get angry at any level.

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Correct!

• Correct. • It depends on the person. What doesn’t bother

one person will infuriate another.

NEXTBACK

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Incorrect!

• Consider your options and try again!• This statement does not best describe the

causes of anger.

BACK

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Expressing Your Anger

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Introduction

• The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively.

• A certain amount of anger is necessary to our survival.

• People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings.

• The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming.

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Expressing Anger

• Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive – not aggressive – manner is the healthiest way to express anger.

• To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others.

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Suppressing Anger

• Another approach is to suppress anger and then convert or redirect it. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive instead.

• The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behavior.

• The danger in this type of response is that if it isn’t allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward – on yourself.

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Calming Down Your Anger

• Finally, you can calm down inside. • This means not just controlling your

outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside.

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What are three main approaches to

expressing anger?

Repressing, avoiding, and employing

Employing, oppressing, and digressing

Regressing, digressing, and obsessing

Expressing, suppressing, and calming

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Correct!

• Correct. • Expressing, suppressing, and calming are

three main approaches to expressing anger.

BACK NEXT

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Incorrect!

• Consider your options and try again!• These are not the main approaches to

expressing anger.

BACK

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Managing Your Anger

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Introduction

• The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes.

• You can’t get rid of, or avoid, the things or people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions.

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Are You Too Angry?

• There are psychological tests that measure the intensity of angry feelings, how prone to anger you are, and how well you handle it. But chances are good that if you do have a problem with anger, you already know it.

• If you find yourself acting in ways that seem out of control and frightening, you might need help finding better ways to deal with this emotion.

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Why Some People Are More Angry Than Others

• Genetic or physiological: There is evidence that some children are born irritable, touchy, and easily angered, and that these signs are present from a very early age.

• Sociocultural. Anger is often regarded as negative; we’re taught that it’s all right to express anxiety, depression, or other emotions but not to express anger. As a result, we don’t learn how to handle it or channel it constructively.

• Family background plays a role. Typically, people who are easily angered come from families that are disruptive, chaotic, and not skilled at emotional communications.

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Relaxation

• Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won’t relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your “gut.”

• Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as “relax,” “take it easy.” Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.

• Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.

• Nonstrenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.

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Cognitive Restructuring

• Cognitive restructuring means changing the way you think.

• Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it’s justified, can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic on yourself.

• Angry people need to become aware of their demanding nature and translate their expectations into desires.

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Problem Solving

• Sometimes, our anger and frustration are caused by very real and inescapable problems in our lives.

• The best attitude to bring to such a situation, then, is not to focus on finding the solution, but rather on how you handle and face the problem.

• Make a plan, and check and progress along the way.

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Better Communication

• The first thing to do if you’re in a heated discussion is slow down and think through your responses.

• Don’t say the first thing that comes into your head, but slow down and think carefully about what you want to say.

• At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.

• Listen, also, for what is underlying the anger.

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Using Humor

• “Silly humor” can help defuse rage in a number of ways.

• It can help you get a more balanced perspective. • What these “humor” techniques have in common

is a refusal to take yourself too seriously. • Anger is a serious emotion, but it’s often

accompanied by ideas that, if examined, can make you laugh.

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Changing Your Environment

• Sometimes it’s our immediate surroundings that give us cause for irritation and fury.

• Give yourself a break.

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Counseling

• If you feel that your anger is really out of control, if it is having an impact on your relationships and on important parts of your life, you might consider counseling to learn how to handle it better.

• When you talk to a prospective therapist, tell her or him that you have problems with anger that you want to work on, and ask about his or her approach to anger management.

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Which statement best describes what is meant by “expressing angry feelings”?

Unleashing physical punishment on the target of your anger

Being assertive by explaining what your needs are and how to get them met

Unleashing verbal abuse on the target of your anger

Responding in a passive-aggressive manner

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Correct!

• Correct. • Being assertive by explaining what your

needs and how to get them met describes what is meant by “expressing angry feelings.”

BACK NEXT

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Incorrect!

• Consider your options and try again!• This is not what is meant by “expressing

angry feelings.”

BACK

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One should never use the technique of suppressing anger because the anger can turn inward, causing hypertension, passive-aggressive behavior, and cynicism.

TRUE FALSE

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Correct!

• The statement is false.• Although anger turned inward can manifest

itself in these ways, if it is employed in a constructive and controlled manner, anger suppression can be a useful technique to manage anger.

BACK NEXT

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Incorrect!

• This statement is false. • Although anger turned inward can manifest

itself in these ways, if it is employed in a constructive and controlled manner, anger suppression can be a useful technique to manage anger.

BACK

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Identify actions you can take to “calm” your anger. (Select all that apply.)

Avoid conflict

Control internal responses

Drink alcohol to sooth angry feelings

Control outward behavior

Put on rose-colored glasses

Confront source of anger

Pretend nothing happened

Let angry feelings subside

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Correct!

• Your answer is correct.• These are ways to “calm your anger:”

– Let angry feelings subside– Control your outward behavior– Control your internal responses

BACK NEXT

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Incorrect!

• These are not the actions you should take to “calm your anger:”– Avoid conflict– Confront source of anger– Pretend nothing happened– Put on rose-colored glasses– Drink alcohol to help sooth angry feelings

BACK

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Summary

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Review

• Define anger and identify some causes • Recognize ways to express and manage

anger

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Review

• Anger can be your friend or enemy; it depends on the way in which you choose to express it.