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1. There is an excellent term in medicine for this kind ofpractice: iatrogenic.latrogenic

medicine, such as blood-letting by leaches r tleatment with arsenic, actually creates

disorder and disease, ometimes he very one it is intended to treat. believe any cat-

egorical system of knowledge that creates and maintains people like me as a"pathol-

ogy" ought to be described as an iatrogenic epistemology and named for what it does:

i.e., naturalizing some bodies by creating mine as a kind of disease.

fMy u.,thro-upologist riend DavidValentine as coined he verb o tribify (Tqi-beh-

fi) to name this propensity of social scientists to naturalize their own gender and geni-

tals while treating mine as f they were he product of some quaint practice by an

..iexotic" r foreign ribe.nCI.flho. a wonderful counterexample of engaged and relevant academic inquiry, see Ki*fia-urt. 'sremarkable"Genderb*?s[!

le,Ge#Cl'3S4:EISCslulIo"lgLPlLl ic Space" n Environment nd Planning D: Sociery nd Space 4 (1996): 2Zl-240' she

ifriiliiElcritical issue of transviolence, but only to tease out and interconnect wider

issues of all gender-based violence. In addition, she does so without stigmatizing her

transgender subjects. The focus ofher study is the workings ofthe gender regime it-

ielf-the ways violence is used to regulate gender in public space-and not just

transpeople as (detached) subjects.

ilruk

TnINGS YOU DON'T

SNY -rO A TRANSEXUAL

SON,T # I, "I WA S JUST TALKING TO A CHANGE TH EOTHER

ffAY AND.. . , ,

Tr:me, his suggests hat you are having strange conversations with.{ourpocket *ot"y. No one S a change' One can ask or change'

*u"n .hung., exchange,change ires' change clothes' change sides'

change o I minor key, and have a change of life,but one cannot BE

a change.

DON'T#2. "You LooKJUsr As GooD As I Do'"

Of course do. And this is precisely he state of grace o which we

al l aspire. But more than ikely,you do both of us an njustice'

DON'T#3. "Wgtt- , I wANTYo u ro KNow HAT cERTAtNLY

CONSIDER YO U A WOMAN."

It is a never-ending ource of wonderment hat well-intentioned,

and otherwise ery well-brought-up people say his to me' with alight of total sincerity shining in their eyes or which any self-

i

tiI,il

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, trespecting ocker spaniel would kill.

4 r* *"1, Unfortunately,this assurance urns on at least our assump-b y,ar"J tions whichl upor- closer nspection, rove o be unfounded: a)

"i_-umy gender s a subject

boutwhich easonable eoplemight bef. t tl-'"-t, expected o reasonably differ; (b) mv gender i."

i.,r,;. rhar ic c,rr-

'Js'*'i

.,'Y$9//\

expected o reasonably differ; (b) mi (b) mv ggnder s a topic that is cur-er is a topic that is cur-

Wit, is something about which I suffer rather a great deal of anxietyand about which I am seeking ome eassururr*; nd (d) you, sinceyou are a nontransexual, are in just the providential position ofproviding me with this reassurance so desperately eek.

DON,T#a. q THINK oU'RE s MUCH WoMAN s ANYoFMY FRIENDS."

rvVhata treat for them. Especially our male friends.

DON'T #5. "I WoULDNEVERHAVEGUESSED oU WERE A

This'phrase s usually accompanied y a ook of the utmost ncre_duliry followed closelyby a searching, enetrating, and argely sottovoce reappraisal of all the things you thought you knew about me(or, perhaps, only all the times we slept tolether). Unfortunately,this utterance assumes hat your creduiity, n-odoubt a opic of .rrd_less ascination o you, is of equal nterest to me. Since here are

DON,T#6. "Cnn you HAVE NoRGAsM?,,Yes, ut only when I'm asked his question.

DON,T#7.. "cnn YoUHAVE N oRGAsM?,,

17 THINGS YO U DON'T sA Y 29

DON,T #8 . "CNU YOU HAVE AN ORGASM?, '

DON,T #9 . , ,YOV MUST HAVE HAD A LOT OF COURAGE TO

FACESURGERY. ' ,

To have he actual surgery, just had to be able o breathe deeply'

count at east partwaybackward rom one hundred, and fall asleep

with some semblance f dignity. In all of these asks was reliably

aided by enough anesthesia o subdue a small water buffalo. t would

also have helped had I ten-to-twenty thousand dollars n spare

change see #1 above). Unfortunately' while I was thus drifting

majestically off to sleep, found I also had to be able o watch my

friends, most of my lovers, all of my family, and any esbian who

used the term politically correct n any context other than a LilyTomlin joke, fade out of my existence orever. Also, I found that I

woke up to endless efrains of DON'Ts #1-8, above. hat s he hard

part. The surgery could probably do again before breakfast'

DON'T # lO. " l DoN'TTHINKr' s ANYoNE's oNcERN

WHAT,S BETWEEN YOUR LEGS' UNLESS THEY'RE SLEEPING

WITH YOU., ,

Well, yes. But you,like me, might be surprised at the profound lack

of fastidiousness ome people display to even his tender area, asmy weekly trips to the accoutrement acks at the Pleasure Ches

and Eve'sGarden confirm. In any case, 'm quite certain hat what-

ever s between your legs, even during those hot, sticky, yucky days

of summer, s totally above eproach and perfectly charming, while

what's between mine, even on the very best of days, s, well, et's ust

not talk about it.

DON'T # t I . " l THINK TRANsEXUALS ARE JUsr ME N lN

DRAG., ,

Of course ou do, and you re entitled to your opinion. You can eve

be justifiably proud to think so. Do not, however, oice this senti-

ment while surrounded by a room full of men who really are n

ffiffi

tens of thousands of us (maybe n your building alone!),_the ac tthat some of qs caq "pass" a nasLconcept if

"u"r"tfuxerg;-lontransexuals

you are

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drag (for nstance, t he next Fantasy all).Also,be certain o notethe exception o this rule, which is, of course, emale-to-maletransexuals, who are really, well, ust women in drag. We all knowhow naturally distasteful t is when men wear dresses r women

wear pants. Do not, however, oice his sentiment while surroundedby a room of S/M dykes n full leather and sruds.

DON'T#f 2. " l HEAR ou,RE A TRANsEXUAL.HENDrD ouHAVE SURGERY?, ,

Yes, nd I hear you're a homosexual: when did you first suck cock?Ohhhh-it's not abour sex.

tt , ,' l DON'T#13. " l THrNK F TRANsExuALrryS A KrND FsI

BrRTH DEFECT. , ,i

\Sodo I. I was born into the wrong culture.

DON'T #14. "How DtDyou KNowyou,RE A woMAN?r '

How didJgz hro}1]'ou were a woman? Ah-hmm: breasts and va--gina. Well,lffivery handsome, earded,muscular young men of my acquaintance who began ife with thevery same equipment, so hat's not particularly compelling evidence,is it?... see, nside YOU just know. Call me sometime, we'll havelunch.

DON,T # T5. "T s IT TRUE THAT TRANSEXUALS AR E .woMEN

TRAPPED IN MEN'S BODIES'? ' '

Yes, hat's ight. In my own case, hey had to call n both the FireDepartment and he EMS and even hen t took them hours o cutme out. Luckily I had myWalkman and some wqnderful ludy Gar-land tapes, so t wasn't too awful a wait.

i'i|'

DON,T # 16 . "You LooK JUST LIKEA\'-

REALwonanu."

How splendid, especiallywhen you recall 'm composed almost

I7 THINGs YoU DON'T SAV

mtirely of compressed oyby-products. And you ook just like a REAL,Mnsexual. Oh,I'm so sorry I didnt rcaItze hat was an nsult.

TRAHSEXUAL KNOW.' '

'Wes,and isn't it arnazingthat when you came out to your mother,ysu were he only homosexual she knew. Ho-hum. The fact that Iam the only transexual you know only emphasizes hat: (a) youprobably know a few hundred of us but you don't know you knowue, and we won't tell you that you do; (b) there are tens of thou-sands of us, and more all the time; (c) we are secretly plotting totake over the planet Earth, and infiltrating your prevailing non-transexual culture is ust the first step; and (d) while we are waitingt8 take over your planet we are amusing ourselves t your expenseby seeing ust how much we can fuck with your heads.