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12-Steps to Creating Motivation When Depressed

By Nathan Feiles, LCSW

Creating motivation when f eeling depressed can be one of the mostdif f icult things a person can do. An episode of depression can bephysically and emotionally draining. The simplest of tasks seem totake maximum ef f ort, and sometimes even beyond maximum. Somemay f eel lethargic. It may be tough make meals, or clean up at home,or take showers, or even get out of bed.

Navigating motivation when depressed can be tough because theinstinct is to wait f or the energy to return. People who aredepressed of ten f all into the trap of trying to wait it out — that ifyou give in to the urge to stay in bed f or a f ew days, that you’ll bere-energized and recharged, believing you’ll have exorcised the depression demons by just “going with it”.

Unf ortunately, it ’s not usually as simple as this. If everybody tried to wait out their depressive episodes, somepeople would be in bed f or 20 years, realizing somewhere along the way that depression actually tends tobreed depression if it ’s not actively conf ronted. That’s right, catering to our depressive urgesactually reinforces them.

Obviously, actively doing anything doesn’t sound so desirable when f eeling depressed, let alone conf rontingour depressive urges head-on. While it ’s important to give depressive symptoms their attention and get tounderstand and learn about what’s underlying the depressive episode, the concept of “mind over matter” canhelp create motivation when depressed. I have seen evidence with many people that creating a change inmindset with small, manageable, behavioral steps can change a whole experience of depression. For some it ’sbrought their symptoms entirely into remission. This doesn’t replace taking the steps to learn more aboutwhat’s causing the episodes, but these steps can help us move on with our lives while we continue to work onthe underlying issues.

Let’s look at some steps that can help break an episode or a cycle of depression.

1) Opposite Action – In Dialectical-Behavioral Therapy (an of f shoot of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy),Opposite Action is the idea of f orcing yourself to do something that you know is good f or you, in order toprevent the reinf orcement of a bad habit. For example, if you want to stay on the couch and watch tv all day,when realizing this only gives in to depression, opposite action would say to get up and go out, knowing itwould be a healthier behavior. It ’s very much a “just to the opposite of your unhealthy urge” technique. In CBT,the principle is that your behaviors can create posit ive changes in your emotions.

2) Set an Alarm – This isn’t only f or getting out of bed. The alarm can be f or anything that marks a symptomof depression. You might set an alarm to wake yourself up at a certain t ime to make sure you get out of bed inthe morning; or you might set an alarm to signal a meal t ime if you’re missing meals, or signal t ime to dolaundry, or run a particular set of errands, and so on. The alarm serves as a cue to draw your attention to atarget area where you want to become more active in change.

3) Make Your Bed – Getting out of bed can be very tough with depression. The f irst step to take is to sit upon the bed, put your f eet on the f loor, and visualize leaving all of your troubles and thoughts behind you in the

bed. Then, get up and nicely make your bed, leaving the troubles behind f or the day. Making the bed is essentialin this process, as it signals to your brain that there isn’t an option to get back in the bed f or the day. As youmake your bed, it can also be helpf ul to imagine the troubles you’re lef t behind dissipating as the covers arepulled up.

4) Wash Up – The more routine-setting steps you’re able to add on af ter you make your bed, the better. Trywashing your f ace and brushing your teeth to help wake you up. With these kind of steps you’re training yourbrain to understand that you’re getting ready f or “something,” rather than simply a day laying around.

5) Get Dressed – This is a crucial step in separating f rom the bed to the day. Sitt ing around in pajamas on thecouch is still possible, even if you escape the bedroom. Getting dressed decreases the urge to lounge,because again you’re reinf orcing in your brain that you’re getting ready f or something.

6) Go Outside – This can be one of the toughest steps f or people who struggle with depression — actuallyleaving the house. One of the problems with this step is that people are easily held back by not having a placeto go. “Okay, I can go outside…..but then what?” So f or this step, the idea is to not have a place to go. Thegoal is going outside, not the particular place you go once you’re outside. Go outside, close the door behindyou, and do whatever comes to mind — a walk around the block, down the street, pacing in f ront of yourhouse, getting in your car and driving on an errand, and so on. It can be anything or nothing at all, but the goalis to spend at least ten minutes outside bef ore going back in.

7) Choose One Exercise – Getting your body moving is a good way to start f eeling better. Choose anexercise that works f or you: walking, running, swimming, jump-roping, etc. Whatever you choose to do, make ita point to do it every day when you go outside. And if it ’s an indoor exercise (like a treadmill), do it bef ore yougo outside.

8) Make a List of Activit ies – Brainstorm activit ies that you’d enjoy doing. Include things to do at home andout with people. Try to generate a list of things that includes others and that gives you some time to yourself .The activit ies can be a mix of productive (e.g. work-related) activit ies, and hobbies, and self -care.

9) Schedule Activit ies – Schedule the activit ies throughout the week. Try to plan out either one or two weeksahead of t ime and actually write the activit ies into your calendar with specif ic days and times. Spread them outas much as possible and make sure to stick to the schedule.

10) Daily Necessity Schedule – This schedule is if you’re having trouble getting motivated to do your dailyactivit ies — such as eating, cooking, showering, or other household chores. For this, you’re creating a dailyhome schedule. Choose the specif ic t imes you’re going to do each activity every day. It can be as specif ic asyou f eel you need: t ime to get dressed, brush your teeth, start cooking, eating, showering, turning of f the tvbef ore bed, and so on. This is to help you get your daily necessit ies actually f unctioning on a daily basis.

11) See Family and Friends – This one is more about the people than the activity. Being around other peopleis of ten helpf ul f or mood improvement. Schedule specif ic dates and times with f riends and f amily, outside ofthe house. The more you can remove yourself f rom the environment of depression (usually the home andbedroom), the better chance of overcoming it.

12) Psychotherapy – It ’s important to keep in mind that the desire to stay inside and and lay around isn’t whatcauses depression — it is a symptom of depression. Psychotherapy remains a necessary step throughout theprocess of dealing with depression in order to prevent f urther episodes, reduce severity, and hopef ully be ridof depression altogether. Even if we can resolve some of the motivational issues through pushing ourselvesto take behavioral steps, the internal issues that are causing the depression still need to be addressed.Otherwise, when our motivation drops, the depression may return if we don’t have a handle on the underlyingissues.

What’s most important to keep in mind is that you’re not going to feel like doing anything discussed above. Ifyou’re going to wait to “f eel like it”, then it may not happen. Using opposite action will be the necessary f irststep to conquering depression — knowing in your mind that it will be good f or you to take the steps to movef orward, and just doing it. By also engaging in psychotherapy, you’re still able to give appropriate attention towhat’s happening inside of you, including if medication therapy may (or may not) also be helpf ul. You do havethe power to increase your motivation and to break out of depression. It may take some ef f ort, but theopportunity is there f or you to reclaim your lif e.

Nathan Feiles, LCSW is a psychotherapist in the New York City area. In his private psychotherapy practice,Nathan Feiles works with individuals, couples, and groups, specializing in relationships, depression, anxiety, lif eadjustments and transit ions, stress reduction, migraines, f ear of f lying, divorce, and phobias. He is also thef ounder of the NYC Migraine Group, and runs separate groups f or Divorced Parents; and Divorced Men. Formore inf ormation about Nathan Feiles’s work, including a complete list of services, please visit his website athttp://www.nyclif eandrelationshipcounseling.com

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Last reviewed: 30 Jan 2013

APA Reference Anonymous. (2013). 12-Steps to Creating Motivation When Depressed. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 31,2014, f rom http://blogs.psychcentral.com/relationships-balance/2013/01/28/12-steps-to-creating-motivation-when-depressed/