12 Steps to Happiness

Mind and Spirit Tools to

Banish Sadness, Anxiety, and

Low Self Esteem.

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By Swati Nigam

Copyright ©2015 Swati Nigam

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Dedication

I dedicate this ebook to God,

my family, and friends

who are so important in

everything I learn.

2

Disclaimer

----------------

I am not a doctor. I am not a

medical professional. I am a

Life Coach. I teach techniques

to help you with your emotional

burdens. If you have a medical

condition, please meet your

doctor.

What people are saying about

working with meWhen I started working with you, you asked me how depressed I felt on a scaleof 1 to 10. 1 being not at all, and 10 maximum. I had to say 15. I had not justconsidered ending my life, I had been taken to a crisis unit for planning it out andgetting set up to do just that. That was one week before I just couldn't find or feel anyjoy, hope or anything but darkness and uselessness. Crying all the time, I couldn'teven force myself to stop crying. Honestly, I only contacted you because I felt I hadnothing to lose…and now I've begun gaining everything.

Now after having worked with you, my depression is at level 1. So emotionallevel is much better, almost like myself, I feel more in control again, and I can smileand laugh again, and tell really inappropriate jokes! It went from feeling all the terrorand hurt and anger to just feeling all the blessings.

I would have walked through hot broken glass to stop feeling the way I had been!Working with you has been a hella lot more fun! I love that it’s working! I was reallyconvinced that nothing would ever help ~ and with our first session, so simple andeasy ~ and in only a short time, I smiled, I could breathe and think and it didn’t dopeme up! And we have fun!

You're personable, you put me at ease right from the start, which isn’t easy! I'm a veryguarded private person, but I felt completely safe and comfortable with you ♡ and wehave the same kind of warped sense of humour! I already have been recommendingyou to others. ~ Kristine MN ************************I felt pretty helpless. Even though things might be going good for me, like when I gotthe new job, it felt like things would crash down eventually, and I couldn’t help myself,you know? My depression was at least at 8-9 (on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being not atall, and 10 maximum). I suffered from extremes of anxiety and depression, hadfrequent crying spells, and I seemed to have no willpower or self-control when it cameto bringing myself to do basic things in life like keeping my apartment clean, mycomposure at my job, or even eating healthy. I knew I needed help, but nothing hadhelped me for the long term. I always regressed. I didn't know what else to try. Iwondered if I was beyond hope.

My depression now after having worked with you for sometime is at about 2.

My self-esteem was really bad. On a scale of 1-10, mine was low at 1 or 2. I felt I

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I wasn’t worth anything. Like I was useless. And that I wasn’t worthy of existence. Now after working with you, I feel like I should exist. I also know now that I amsupported by a Higher Power. I understand now that I have a place in this universe. Ifeel great as a person now. Earlier what people said about me really brought medown. Now, it still does affect me somewhat, but now I know that either theircomments are going to be constructive, or I can ignore them.

My self-esteem is pretty good now at around 8 after working with you for awhile.

Before starting to work with you, I used to have severe anxiety - at around 9 or10. It didn’t take me much to get into a panic mode. Now it is much harder to get meinto that anxious, panic mode. Now my anxiety level is at 5.

You offered me a new perspective on things. You offer these techniques and copingmechanisms that are really effective. I would recommend others with similar problemsto work with you. ~ Phil M ************************I finally see my daughter laugh and smile after working with you (after years). She islaughing and smiling like she has a new crush! You work like an anti-depressant! Ithas been so many years since I have seen her smile.Thank you! ~ Mrs. K. ************************I was absolutely amazed! I was at several different crossroads in my life and wantedsome clarity and confidence in my path. Logic was only taking me in circles, so Ithought I could benefit from inputs from a different source, even though I wasn’t surewhat to expect. Her responses to my questions were specific and concrete, and sheknew exactly what I needed to know. I left feeling good about my choices, moreconfident about my path, and affirmed where I felt doubtful before. She showed menew ways of thinking which led me to take actions I never would’ve thought to dobefore, which produced really wonderful positive results. Not only is Swati incrediblygifted, she is truly kind, generous, and funny! I feel she opened me up to a whole newworld of possibilities, and I feel excited and optimistic about my path. From the bottomof my heart, thank you Swati ~ J Han ************************Swati is the single most powerful coach and intuitive guide I’ve ever had the pleasureof working with. I’ve never been so affirmed or empowered as I was after working withSwati. She is truly wonderful. ~ Sue Fitzmaurice, Author ************************Just wanted to give you an update. I hadn’t worked in 2 years since I was let go. I willbe starting my new job! I realize just having a caring person who was a stranger to me 4

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take the time to fill me with words of wisdom and encouragement wasenough to give me that push of confidence and put my gears into drive.Swati I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. As depressed as Iwas, I know you have helped me put my life into prospective. God blessyou always. Love, Maria ************************I worked with Swati and it was the most incredible experience. She waswarm and her energy was so nurturing and non-judgemental. She taughtme EFT tapping which has been helping overcome my issues daily and Ifeel stronger emotionally than I have in years. I highly highly recommendworking with Swati. Her energy feels like a warm and wonderful hug. It wastruly a special and wonderful experience. Thank you Swati. I know this maysound crazy, but I love you. I am so grateful I was drawn to you. You aretruly a magnificent soul and I feel lucky to have worked with you. ~ MillyCohn ************************Swati is one of the most nicest people I have known, we have never met,but it feels that we have known each other for years! She has helped meheal and explore and learn aspects about myself that I never knew Ihad. Working with her helped me understand situations and made me takethe right decisions. I will not just go back to her in the future but alsorecommend her! ~Pratibha P ************************ There are moments in life when you forget yourself. Your soul song andyour life purpose gets hidden behind all the daily grind. That happenedrecently to me and I got in touch with swati for help. Swati's message wasthe hands that cupped the flame in a storm. Swati does not tell you what todo. She gives insights helping you make a decision for the greater good.Simply put, if in doubt let Swati assist you. ~Sharanya Ramesh, Ohio ************************

If you would like to learn more about clearing your negative

emotions and fast-tracking your transition to happiness, please

email me to schedule a 30 minute sample session with me:

Swati@ThePurpleFlower.com.

Table of Contents

1. Introduction ---------------------------------- 7

2. The reason for misery ----------------------- 9

3. EFT tapping --------------------------------- 11

4. Thought Re-training ----------------------- 13

5. Meditation ---------------------------------- 16

6. Exercise ------------------------------------- 22

7. Nutrition ------------------------------------ 23

8. Affirmations -------------------------------- 24

9. Re-write your past ------------------------- 26

10. Goals, Success & Achievements ----------27

11. Visualization ------------------------------- 30

12. Forgiveness -------------------------------- 32

13. Service to others --------------------------- 37

14. Life Coaching ------------------------------- 39

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IntroductionDo you feel sad all the time? Hopeless? Feel anxious? Not worthyenough? You are not alone.

This is a short ebook with a few of the tools I have used in my ownrecovery from depression, low self esteem, stress etc. These are someof the same tools I use with my clients.

Before I begin, I must say that if you suspect you have depression, youshould stay in touch with your doctor. Everything I write here is for yoursupport, and will help you a lot. But sometimes people need medicaltreatment. I am not a doctor, and I cannot decide that for anyone. Onlyyour doctor and you can decide if you need medical treatment as well.

Depression - in all its varying degrees and colors, low self-esteem,anxiety, stress - all these are huge topics by themselves. But in thisshort ebook, I would like to introduce you to concepts that have beenso helpful to so many, including me.

You need to put in your heart and soul into this work of bringingyourself out of depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, or stress. As oneof my clients puts it: "I do my homework daily - you have to take itseriously, if you want to get better". And motivation is often a problemwhen you are depressed. Yet, I have seen that when one hits rickbottom, one has nowhere else to go but up. Also, if motivation is astumbling block, I highly recommend you work with a Life Coach ortherapist who will keep you working.

I know that you can be happy. I have done it. So have others. Iwas not always calm, stress free, happy. Actually I have sufferedfrom deep depression for 17 years. I was suicidal. I know how thatfeels. And I 7

don't wish that upon anyone. I am a person with many interests. Ilove learning. But I got to the point where I couldn't get off thecouch. I was wasting my life away.

Then it happened.

I hit rock bottom.

I could either die then or live...I mean REALLY live. And I chose tolive.

I want to say, the moment I made that decision to be happy as ifmy life depended on it (it really did), was the time I think I wonhalf the battle.

So tell me, will you decide NOW that you've had enough, and thatyou will REALLY live?

And that you will live happily, with peace in your heart and mind,stress-free, with a healthy self esteem? Decide now with your heart,soul, and mind. Nothing less will do.

HOW TO USE THIS BOOKYou don't need to use all 12 tools everyday. Read all the chapters, tryall the tools. Give each one a VERY good chance for a good enoughtime, and pick the tools you would like to use and build your dailyprogram around your selected tools. My favorite and the mosteffective from these is EFT tapping.

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The reason for miseryThere’s a reason you haven’t been able to hold onto happiness.

We are programmed to thinking negatively.

Why is that so?

This programming is handed down to us from our ancestors, when weused to be primitive humans. Danger lurked in every corner. You neverknew when a tiger would come make a tasty snack out of you, so youneeded to always focus on danger. You needed to be focused on allthat could go wrong, because things could go wrong easily, and theyoften did. Ask a deer being chased by a tiger. That’s how we lived forages. We did not have protection against the natural elements either.No clothes, no homes, no electricity, no bed. Nothing. So we neededto always be alert of what could hurt us. This is how we survived. Andthat programming is continuing even now.

In this day and age we are not always in danger. Oh yes, danger lurks,but for the most part, the majority of us are leading very safe lives. Wedon’t need to be focused on danger or what could go wrong. Yet, nowwe are programmed for it, and we are conditioned therefore to look forthe “bad”. This sets the stage for anxiety, depression, stress etc.

Yes, of course, all those things you are stressing about — they mighthappen in the future. Maybe in the very near future even. Yet, it is nothappening right now. And the future is not written in stone. Things canchange. You can change them.

When your mind is pre-disposed to negativity, and when we grow upwith so many judgements passed against us, some by the very peoplewho actually love us, many of us are bound to have low self-esteem aswell. We get so used to looking for approval from others, that we 9

forget that the person whose approval matters the most isoneself. Others have opinions, they have a right to their opinions, butwe do not need to make their opinion our fact, do we?

Now that we understand the origin of this negativity, let us continuewith 12 steps towards feeling happier. You can learn to reprogramyourself and finally feel how you want to feel.

If you would like to learn more

about clearing your negative

emotions and fast-tracking

your transition to happiness,

please email me to schedule a

30 minute sample session with

me:

Swati@ThePurpleFlower.com.

OR go to:

http://thepurpleflower.com/30-

minute-sample-re-program-

your-mind-to-happiness-

coaching-session/

EFT Tapping: EFT means Emotional Freedom Technique. As thename suggests, it helps you free yourself from distressingemotions. And it works really well, and really quickly. I will explainhow to do this in a video below, but here is a short written explanationto go with the video:

We first pick a distressing emotion, close our eyes to understandwhere exactly do we feel the emotion within our bodies, and how theemotion feels physically. Then we rate it on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1being not feeling bad at all and 10 being feeling it very strongly.

We repeat a "set-up statement" thrice while tapping on the karate choppoint of your hand (side of the hand). The set up statement goes in theform of:

"Even though I [have this feeling], I deeply and completely loveand accept myself". eg: Even though I have this deep sadness, I deeply and completelylove and accept myself.

eg: Even though I am feeling worthless, I deeply and completely loveand accept myself".

eg: Even though I am feeling very anxious right now, I deeply andcompletely love and accept myself.

So your set up statement depends on what your distressing emotionis.

Then we start the tapping on specific points on our bodies speakingabout what is distressing us. One round typically takes about a minuteor so, and you will see how your rating for the distressing emotion will 11

EFT tapping

go down in one round itself. Then you keep repeating till you bring thenumber down to 1 or even 0.

I am including a video here to help you do this.

1. Watch this video and tap at least 10 minutes a day.2. Tap each time you feel down and upset.

If you do this every day, it will help you feel much calmer and happier ingeneral. However, to really wipe the problem from the root, work with aLife Coach who can help determine the core issues, the root causes,and work on each issue until the events and challenges that are thebasis of your distressing emotion are healed.

And if doing this routine by yourself does not seem to help you,then do email me to schedule a sample consultation with me to seethe power of EFT for yourself, and be amazed. I am SURE of that!

Click on the picture below to be taken to my video on my youtubechannel. Don't forget to subscribe to my channel :-).

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Thought Re-training

We have countless thoughts all through the day. Usually we are notcompletely aware of our own thoughts. It feels like the thoughts aregoing on auto-pilot.

Our thoughts impact our emotions.

I will not say, "Think positive" and be done with it. I know weneed to train ourselves in the art of thinking. And this takes time,and determination. Thankfully it is not a grueling task. On thecontrary, I found it quite pleasing, because the relief you feel isbeautiful.

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Add subtitle text

Here is how we retrain our thinking process:

1. Stop every now and then during the day and become aware of howyou are feeling. Ask yourself, "How am I feeling?".

2. If you are feeling calm, happy...you're doing great. If you're feelingdistressed at all, ask yourself what are your pre-dominant thoughts atthis time. This has to be a very conscious act.

3. If you have been feeling distressed at all, you will notice, notsurprisingly, that you have been thinking of things that upset you.Either you are replaying something from the past, or worrying aboutsomething that might happen in the future.

4. Consciously change what you are thinking about. Remembersomething, someone, or an incident that makes you feel happy. Itdoesn't have to be something huge. Oftentimes, it is the small andsweet things that make us feel happy.

5. When you change your thoughts, you will feel a relief in youremotions. Try this for a day and see for yourself. Actually do it!Don't just read and go away thinking it won't work.

Example: One day, I noticed I was feeling irritated. What was Ifocusing on? Two years ago, someone had done something that hadmade me hopping mad. They had done things that ruined manythings for me. So two years later, I was still hopping mad. What awaste of time, energy, and emotions.

So what did I do?

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I looked around to find just one little thing that I loved/liked. And there wasmy kitten, chasing some invisible thing. He looked so beautiful. He alwaystugs at my heartstrings really powerfully. I really really LOVE animals! It ispowerful for me. So I focused on what my kitten was doing

And with that, my emotions changed from irritated to happy.

Yes, it really is as easy as that to fix habitual negative thinking. Thingis, if you are mostly sad or stressed, you are mostly thinkingnegative things. Notice your thoughts and see for yourself.

You will see that it is really little things like these that can help you changeyour emotions. You don't need to look for big happy events. The verysmall things that happen every day, and often go unnoticed by us can bethe keys to changing our negative thought patterns into positive ones.

Here is why this is so important and effective. If you have been feeling sadfor a long time, or feeling low self-worth, anxiety or stress for a long time,your brain neurons get used to the pattern which keep you feeling thesame negative feelings. This is explained really beautifully in the movie"What The Bleep Do We know?". I highly recommend this movie becauseit explains this fact in a very simple, scientific, and easy to understandway. The longer we repeat an emotion, the stronger the neuron pattern tofeel that way. This is why it is really hard to break old habits and patterns.

If you work relentlessly on thinking thoughts that make you feel happy, orthoughts that inspire love, or thoughts that make you laugh, you willchange the old pattern of sadness over time.

Focus on training your mind to think happy thoughts. It will be hard in thebeginning, but if you remain vigilant and diligent, you will re-wire andre-train your mind to think in a positive pattern. Pleasant thoughts willin turn lead you to feeling pleasant emotions. 15

Meditation

I give here 3 different types of meditation. Try them all, and pick theone you feel best with.

I. A SHORT & SWEET MEDITATION:Do short bursts of easy 5 minute meditations every now and then throughthe day, especially when you feel stressed.

Sit or lie down comfortably. 1. Close your eyes. 2. Choose a color of light you wish to work with. I usually work with white or pure gold light. 3. As you breathe in, imagine, visualize or feel your chosen color of light entering your heart. 4. As you breathe out, imagine the light from your heart expanding out, pushing all the stress out of you. 5. Repeat for at least 5 minutes. The longer you can do this, the better. But do not underestimate the power of even 5 minutes.

To get further instructions on how to do these short and effective 5 minutemeditations read my 3 part series on “How to Meditate.”

1. How to Meditate – Part 1: http://thepurpleflower.com/meditate-part-1/ 2. How to Meditate - Part 2: http://thepurpleflower.com/meditate-part-2/

3. How to Meditate - Part 3: http://thepurpleflower.com/meditate-part-3/

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II. ENERGY CLEARING MEDITATION

Chakras are energy centers in your body. There are 7 main chakras:Root, Sacral, Solar Plexus, Heart, Throat, Third Eye, and Crown. Just likewe eat well, exercise, and keep our bodies clean to keep it healthy, weneed to clean our energy centers so that our energy flows well, and wefeel happy and healthy. This does not bring quick results, but doing itevery day, regularly does wonders for you long term.

Here is a very effective chakra clearing meditation. You can read it once,understand it, and close your eyes and follow the instructions, or asksomeone to read this out to you slowly. Or you can record this transcriptyourself by reading it out slowly.

You can also buy the recorded meditation on my websitewww.ThePurpleFlower.com. I am working on making a recordingof my Chakra Clearing Meditation.

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Energy/chakra clearing meditation transcript:

Every morning when you wake up, and every night, before sleeping, do achakra clearing meditation.

Close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths till you relax. Or you cando the short meditation I described first in this chapter.

At the floor of your pelvis, imagine, visualize or feel a bright Ruby Redcolored spinning wheel. It is spinning clock-wise. Observe it for a fewmoments, enlarge it to stick out about 2 feet around your body, and thenimagine the color becoming clean and bright. In your mind, say, “My Rootchakra is now cleaned and balanced.”

Move your focus up to a place about 2 inches below your belly button.Imagine, visualize or feel a bright Orange colored spinning wheel there. Itis spinning clock-wise. Observe it for a few moments, enlarge it to stickout about 2 feet around your body, and then imagine the color becomingclean and bright. In your mind, say, “My Sacral chakra is now cleanedand balanced.”

Move your focus now to your solar plexus. Imagine, visualize or feel abright Yellow colored spinning wheel there. It is spinning clock-wise.Observe it for a few moments, enlarge it to stick out about 2 feet aroundyour body, and then imagine the color becoming clean and bright. In yourmind, say, “My Solar Plexus chakra is now cleaned and balanced.”

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Move your focus now to your heart. Imagine, visualize or feel an EmeraldGreen colored spinning wheel there. It is spinning clock-wise. Observe itfor a few moments, enlarge it to stick out about 2 feet around your body,and then imagine the color becoming clean and bright. In your mind, say,“My Heart chakra is now cleaned and balanced.”

Move your focus now to the base of your throat. Imagine, visualize or feela Robin Blue colored spinning wheel there. It is spinning clock-wise.Observe it for a few moments, enlarge it to stick out about 2 feet aroundyour body, and then imagine the color becoming clean and bright. In yourmind, say, “My Throat chakra is now cleaned and balanced.”

Move your focus now to your third eye area between your eyebrows.Imagine, visualize or feel an Indigo colored spinning wheel there. It isspinning clock-wise. Observe it for a few moments, and then imagine thecolor becoming clean and bright. In your mind, and then say, “My ThirdEye is now opened, cleaned and balanced.”

Move your focus now to the top of your head. Imagine, visualize or feel aPurple-Violet colored spinning wheel there. It is spinning clock-wise.Observe it for a few moments, enlarge it to stick out about 2 feet aroundyour body, and then imagine the color becoming clean and bright. In yourmind, say, “My Crown chakra is now cleaned and balanced.”

When you are ready, open your eyes.

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To learn more about chakras, read the following free articles on mywebsite:

All About the Chakras: http://thepurpleflower.com/friday-spiritiual-psychic-development-what-are-chakras/

Root Chakra: http://thepurpleflower.com/friday-spiritualpsychic-development-all-about-the-root-chakra/

Sacral Chkara: http://thepurpleflower.com/friday-spiritualpsychic-development-all-about-the-sacral-chakra/

Solar Plexus Chakra: http://thepurpleflower.com/friday-all-about-the-solar-plexus-chakra/

Heart Chakra: http://thepurpleflower.com/friday-all-about-the-heart-chakra/

Throat Chakra: http://thepurpleflower.com/friday-all-about-the-throat-chakra/

Third Eye Chakra: http://thepurpleflower.com/all-about-the-third-eye-chakra/

Crown Chakra: http://thepurpleflower.com/all-about-the-crown-chakra/

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III. CONNECTING TO YOUR DIVINE SELF

You are not your body. You are not your thoughts or mind either. You arenot those reasons that are causing you depression or sadness or lowself-esteem, or any of your challenges.

You truly are a soul. And as a soul, you are free of these emotionalchallenges.

When you connect to your Divine Self, you will realize that the true youwas never depressed. And the more you connect to your true self, thebetter you will feel.

Here is a free meditation for you that I have recorded to connect toyour Divine Self/Higher Self/True Self. Click on the image below tobe taken there.

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I know you have heard this, but the point is to be regular. And youwill feel a big difference.

When you exercise, feel-good brain chemicals like Endorphins,Serotonin, etc. are released. They help you feel happy, calm, andimprove your sense of self-worth.

However, do ask your doctor before beginning any exercise program.

Try to combine both an aerobic workout like treadmill for 30 minutesevery day, and some light weight training.

If you feel up to it, go all out and go to a gym. Otherwise you can do thisat home too. If you have access to a treadmill, do that. Or go out for abrisk walk. You could also go biking, or roller blading, or dance for 30minutes a day. Choose something you are most likely to stick with. Oryou can vary your routine and do different things on different days.

Exercise

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Nutrition plays an important role in our emotional well being. A fewnutrients are especially key here. Deficiency in these nutrients may causemood imbalance. Please meet your doctor and see if you are low in anyof these, and if you decide to take supplements, please ask your doctorfirst. This is an important step, so please do talk about these with yourdoctor.

Here is a list of some key nutrients for emotional health, with a fewexample sources for them:

1. Omega 3: Some food sources are Salmon, Flaxseeds, Walnuts.2. Vitamin D3: Sunlight, Salmon, Tuna, Mackerel, Mushrooms.3. Vitamin B complex: Seafood, chicken, Green leafy vegetables4. Magnesium: Nuts, Dark green leafy vegetables, bananas, fish5. Folates: Cooked Black Eyed Peas, Raw Spinach, Cooked Lentils6. Iodine: Sea vegetables, Cranberries, Strawberries, Potatoes7. Calcium: Dairy products, Collard Greens, dried Figs, Bok Choy8. Amino acids: beef, pork, turkey, chicken, eggs, seaweed, pumpkin,peas and pea protein, cashews, almonds, oats, lentils, beans.

Nutrition

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Repeating affirmations helps many people. It certainly helps me.

There are many ways to use affirmations. Some effective ways are:

1. Repeating an affirmation often through the day.2. Writing the affirmation 15 times a day, everyday.3. Listening to recordings of affirmations. Here is a recording forhappiness I have made that you can listen to for FREE:

4. Listening to subliminal recordings: Subliminal recordings have theaffirmations on very low volumes, barely audible, so that when you arelistening to music with subliminal affirmations, your conscious mind doesnot register it. The subconscious mind on the other hand does hear thesubliminal affirmations. The benefit is, your conscious mind cannotintervene and say, "That affirmation does not make sense! I do not

Affirmations

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agree!" I have made a subliminal recording of the free audio version Ihave shared with you above. You can buy it by clicking on this picture:

Also, if you go to this article I wrote: http://thepurpleflower.com/re-program-your-mind-to-happiness/ you will find some tips on re-programming your mind to happiness, and you can also download thepre-recorded audible affirmations for free.

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Re-write Your Past

Yes, you read right. If there are past issues that are troubling you, you canalways re-write them to your liking, and draw your energy from it. Thisstep is especially good to do after clearing something with an EFTsession. The combination is powerful!

To understand this concept more, go to my article on this topic:http://thepurpleflower.com/heal-your-past/.

Here is my free meditation to help you re-write your past, but please makesure you read the article first so you understand the concept. Please clickon the picture below for your FREE meditation.

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Goals, Success & Achievements

"Success breeds success". According to a study conducted by sociologistArnout van de Rijt, this is a fact. When we taste success, however small,we are much more likely to achieve more success after that.

Here is the action plans. Create a doable list of goals you would like toachieve in say 3 months. I am asking you to start small, so that you willmost likely succeed, and will not feel overwhelmed. Pick different kinds ofgoals - both serious, and enjoyable. Then break it down to steps or part,and write down what you would like to complete in the 1st month, whatyou would like to complete in the 2nd month, and what steps you wouldlike to complete in the 3rd month. Then take month #1, and divide the taskinto weekly tasks, which you then break down into daily ones.

Follow your plan. Make sure you follow your plan. And so, for this, it isimportant that you choose goals that you know will be more or less easyand enjoyable to do. Don't beat yourself up over, "Oh this was simple, thatis why I did it". The point is, you DID it. Easy or difficult. You will feel reallygood when you achieve that first goal.

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This will enable you to be successful again.

Feeling like you have achieved something, that you have used your timeconstructively is a key factor in feeling good, in having good self esteem,and in even feeling calm.

Some examples of goals:

1. Weekly - Declutter the chest of drawers. Daily goals -- do one drawereach day. Or even half a drawer each day.

2. Learn a fun new hobby.

3. Walk 5 minutes each day. Increase slowly till you are walking 30minutes each day. Increase at a slow pace if you lead a very sedentarylifestyle.

4. Start eating really healthy by the end of 3 months. First month, the goalis to eat a healthy breakfast. Don't worry about the rest of the meals.Second month, eat a healthy breakfast, and a healthy lunch, and notworry about dinner. Third month make the dinner healthy too. So this willbe a slow and steady process. Very easy to do.

5. Every week call a friend or meet a friend and spend good, quality timewith her/him.

Can you think of such goals that are meaningful to you, but at the sametime not stressful, and easy enough to do?

Mark my words...as you start to taste accomplishments and success, yourmoods will reach a new high. Do not worry or beat yourself up if you messup now and then. Make sure you do not follow an "All or Nothing" attitude.I have done that. It got me nowhere.

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If you mess up, understand that we all mess up. And fix it right away. Youwill gain nothing by beating yourself up and thinking -- "might as well let itgo now because I messed up".

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Visualization

If you set aside a few minutes each day to visualize yourself happy,successful at whatever you wish to succeed in, feeling good aboutyourself, you will begin to see changes in yourself. When I workpersonally with my coaching clients, I create personalized visualizationmeditations for them to help with sadness, low self-esteem, anxiety, etc.

But here is the general format that you can create for yourself:

1. Sit or lie down as comfortably as you can.2. Close your eyes.3. Imagine a golden ball of light in your solar plexus - the stomach area.4. Now focus on your breathing, and each time you breathe in, make thisball of light brighter, and each time you breathe out, make the ball oflight bigger. Do this till you are filled with a golden light, and you arefinally sitting within a huge ball of golden light.5. Now imagine/daydream in great detail what you really want, as if it ishappening now. Make sure you FEEL the emotions. This is an importantstep. To feel, you can ask yourself, "How will I feel if this werehappening right now?"

If you want to be a happier person imagine yourself going about yourday very happily. See yourself interacting happily with people. See 30

yourself laughing, looking radiant, and people looking at you with awe,thinking, "Wow...this is the way to be. She/He really knows how to livehappily! She/He has such a positive outlook to life!!". Imagine how youwill feel when people ask you, "How can you remain so happy, sopositive? I love your attitude!!".

If you want to feel confident, image yourself walking tall with a healthyself-esteem, smiling with confidence, achieving successes (imaginesome definite specific achievements you would find meaningful to you),and people feeling inspired with you, looking at you with awe andrespect.

If you want to feel calm, imagine yourself going through your day with agreat feeling of unshakeable peace. See people asking you, "How canyou remain so calm all the time? Just looking at you makes me feelpeaceful".

Make sure your daydreaming is as detailed as you can make it.Make sure you FEEL the emotions like all this is really happening NOW.

6. After about 3-5 minutes of such focused day-dreaming, imagine apink bubble of Divine Love around your visualization, and see it floatingup to God/Your Higher Self/Angels/Spirit Guides/whatever Higher Poweryou like working with. Thank them for helping you manifest yourdesire/goal.

7. Open your eyes.

Make sure you do this as quickly as possible so that you don't find this achore. Make this daydreaming process enjoyable for you. Try doing this1-3 times a day. Early morning, and just before sleeping are powerfultimes to do this. And during the day, try to remember every now andthen the emotions you felt during your daydreaming.

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Forgiveness

Forgiveness is yet another key skill to lead a happy, healthy, successfullife.

Here's the deal. I agree that whoever it was that wronged you, waswrong, wrong, 100% wrong. However, when you hold on to the anger,grudges, ill-feelings, what is really happening? Is it affecting that person?That person is most probably unaffected by your ruining your moods.Meanwhile you are spending your energy and time in feeling reallyterrible.

This in turn leads to depression, anxiety, feeling badly about oneself, andaffects your health, and your performance in anything in life. We alwaysdo better when we are feeling calm and happy. Agreed?

So effectively, you are punishing yourself for their crimes. Do you needthat?

Let go, forgive, so it stops affecting YOU. That is important. 32

Of course, you can also forgive for higher spiritual goals, for experiencingunconditional love etc.

But even if you don't have any such spiritual goals, forgive them for yourown peace. You do not need to punish yourself for the crimes theycommitted.

Now the question is, how do you forgive?? It's not easy, is it?Actually is it very easy if you have the right tools. Here are 2 veryeffective tools:

1. Sit or lie down comfortably.

2. Focus on your breathing for a few moments, noticing how your bellyrises up when you inhale, and how your belly falls in when you exhale. Dothis till you feels relaxed.

3. Imagine you are climbing down to your heart from your head as youcount backwards slowly from 20 to 0.

4. When you get to your heart, imagine it to be a beautiful temple. Iusually see it as a lovely gazebo in a beautiful garden.

5. Imagine some comfortable seating there. Sit on one. Call the HigherSelf/Soul Self of the person who you want to forgive, and imagine themsitting in front of you. Call your guardian angels, spirit guides, andArchangel Michael. Call this person's guardian angels & spirit guides. AskArchangel Michael, all the angels and guides present to envelope youboth in their healing light, and ask them to help you heal the situation. 33

I. My Temple of Heart Meditation

6. Now speak your heart out to this person. Say whatever you want tosay. Do not try to be politically correct. You have to be 100% honest inyour words and emotions. Hold nothing back. Do not worry, you arespeaking to this person's Divine Self. They will not mind. So leave nothingunsaid. Leave no emotion unexpressed.

7. After you feel you are done, and have nothing else to say, say to thisperson, "No matter what, I want to move on from this experience. I do notwish to hurt myself anymore. So I forgive you totally".

8. Then say, "Please forgive me for anything you perceived as wrong onmy part". You may feel you did nothing wrong. But to complete thisprocess you need to do this step, because who knows how that personhad perceived your words or actions?

9. Then surround this person in the warm pink light of Divine Love.

10. Ask Archangel Michael to cut all cords of negativity between you two,and to set that person free of you, and to set you free of that person.Imagine him cutting cords of negativity between you two.

11. After this, see this person fly away.

Do this meditation everyday for a few days, till you get to a point whenyou don't even want to say those things to that person anymore. You willreach a point (usually in about 4-5 days) when the words, the actions willlose their emotional charge and you will feel like it really doesn't matteranymore. That's when you are done, and you can stop doing this.

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II. EFT Tapping for Forgiveness

This is my favorite tool in forgiveness because it does not take days. Ittakes minutes. It works so magically, that you will feel free of a hugeburden right away.

See the video I did on depression. Follow the same steps, except, thistime imagine everything person did to upset you, and make yourself feelas angry/hurt as possible. Then ask yourself how angry/hurt/upset do youfeel on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being nothing at all, and 10 being maximum.Then ask yourself where in your body do you feel it? How does it feel inyour body? A heaviness in the heart? A pain in the back? A throbbing ofthe head? How does it feel to you?

Now while focusing on this feeling, tap on the points speaking about howyou feel. Example, "I feel so angry, I can NEVER forgive this person", or"I feel so hurt because of him, my heart actually aches. I can NEVERforgive this person". Say what is meaningful to you.

Tap till you stop feeling hurt or angry. And don't be surprised, it canhappen really quickly. If it doesn't work for you when you are doingthis alone, email me at Swati@ThePurpleFlower.com and schedule aone hour coaching appointment with me, and I can assure you, itwill work. You will be free of this burden very very quickly.

Here is what a client said to me, "Swati, I tried to do EFT before forforgiveness, but I don't know why it did not work. However, this one hoursession with you has changed my life. Whatever he did does not botherme anymore! I can't believe it! I feel so free and light now. Thank you!Thank you! Thank you!!".

I hear from people that sometimes, especially in the beginning, EFT doesnot seem to work for a few people. But when they work with me, itworks quickly. I think being led in this by an experienced practitionermakes a huge difference. 35

EFT tapping is an EXTREMELY powerful & quick method of healingdistressing emotions. To see the power of EFT, please email me atSwati@ThePurpleFlower.com to set up a sample 30 minuteconsultation.

After you stop feeling angry, do a positive round saying something like, "Iforgive this person (say the name). I feel free of anger. I am free of allhurt. This topic/person/event holds no power on me anymore. I am free. Iam at peace. I am happy".

Read my article on Forgiveness: http://thepurpleflower.com/how-to-forgive/

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Service to Others

I completely agree with this quote above. Nothing is as powerful inraising good feelings, and the feeling of usefulness than an act of serviceto another being - animal, human, plant, earth...your pick.

According to Tony Robbins, one of the key 6 Human Needs is "Growthand Contribution". Contribution to this world is essential for our own wellbeing. Feeling useful in life, feeling like you have done somethingpositive to help another, done something to make this world a betterplace, is very important.

One needs to have a balance of focus on self, and focus on service toothers. Just as over giving, and ignoring oneself is not healthy, focusingonly on oneself makes us feel sad, useless, demotivated. In fact if youfind yourself thinking too much on the lines of, "My life is so hard.Everyone is so unfair to me. No one cares about me. My job sucks. Myhealth is bad....I....me...myself...", consciously lift your focus off yourselfand help someone else smile. You will feel an immediate change in howyou feel. 37

Here are some simple tips on how to be of service, and how to bring joyto others. Can you add some of your own ideas? An act of kindness doesnot need to be a huge gesture always. Often times it is the small thingsthat make a huge difference to another.

1. Send an anonymous appreciation card or thank you card to someonetelling them how you notice every beautiful thing they do to help others.

2. Send a small gift or flowers to someone. Anonymous is always fun,especially when a written note talks about how wonderful they are. But itdoesn't always have to be anonymous. Sometimes, knowing whoappreciates you feels great too.

3. Make time for someone you know is lonely and just give the gift ofyour time, and your ears to listen to them.

4. Take some treats/gifts to a homeless shelter.

5. Take food for someone you know has been having a stressful time.

To get more such tips, read myarticle: http://thepurpleflower.com/tuesday-happiness-tip-are-you-feeling-sad-hopeless-try-this/

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If you would like to learn more about clearing your negativeemotions and fast-tracking your transition to happiness,please email me to schedule a 30minute sample consultation with me:Swati@ThePurpleFlower.com.

Life Coaching

And sometimes, we need a helping hand. Sometimes we feel so low thatwe cannot do any of these things by ourselves. There is no shame inasking for help. It is a sign of wisdom to know when to ask for help. Andisn't it true that we are all here to walk each other home?

Do get in touch with your doctor and follow advice if you suspect youhave depression or anxiety.

Also, work with a Life Coach who works especially with emotionalproblems like depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, stress etc. Eachperson has a different set of challenges, reasons, and core issues behindthe challenges. The 12 steps I have described above can help you a lot,but to really feel clear of everything that has led you to feel the way youdo today, those things need to be uncovered and healed.

This is best done with a Life Coach who will guide you through your ownpersonalized process. You will have someone who will hold your hands 39

through the process of eliminating sadness, low self-esteem, stress,anxiety etc.; someone you can feel accountable towards so you willactually do the work that is needed.

Often when we are feeling depressed, we don't feel motivated to do whatwe know will help us. Yet, when we hire someone to guide us throughthe process, we have help with the motivation factor. With a mentorguiding us, we know what we need to do each step of the way. Thatfeeling of clarity sets the ball into motion. So many times you also needsomeone who will hear you out without judging you. And sometimes youneed someone's unbiased point of view, or a new perspective. Anefficient life coach will do all of this for you.

If you work with the tips given here on a regular basis, you will see agreat change in how you feel. And once again, I do want to stress that ifyou are diagnosed with clinical depression, or feel depressed, please docontact your doctor, and follow their advice. I am not a doctor.

I am a Life Coach who loves to help people overcome their emotionalchallenges. This is something I love doing. It is true that we teach bestwhat we have experienced and overcome ourselves. I have faceddepression, low self-esteem and all the accompanying emotions foryears. And finally I did overcome them all. Because I know that this issomething that can indeed be overcome, I love to help others feel happytoo.

Feeling happy and calm, having a great sense of self-esteem isimperative in succeeding in life. It is very important in having success inrelationships, in career, in finances, and in having good health. Youremotions form the basis of all success in life. There is a way to changeyour emotions from negative to positive. There is a way to banish oldprogramming, reinvent your feelings about your life and start living theway you have always wanted to live!

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If you would like to learn more about clearing your negativeemotions and fast-tracking your transition to happiness,please email me to schedule a 30minute sample consultation with me:Swati@ThePurpleFlower.com.

ABOUT SWATISwati Nigam is an Intuitive Life Coach who usesher Intuitive skills along with training in LifeCoaching, EFT tapping, and healing techniques tohelp people resolve their emotional issues likesadness, low self-esteem, anxiety, anger, stress,fears, letting-go challenges, etc and to moveforward to create a life of their soul's calling.

She also holds an MBA and a Masters in Management InformationSystem. Her undergraduate education was in pure sciences (Botany,Zoology, Chemistry, Physics).

Her passion is to help people heal their emotions quickly, gracefully andeffectively. Seeing a happy transformation in people makes her trulycome alive.

Email her at Swati@ThePurpleFlower.com to schedule your 30minute sample session, and discuss your problems, getsuggestions, and discuss how she can help you.

Or go to http://thepurpleflower.com/30-minute-sample-re-program-your-mind-to-happiness-coaching-session/

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