10 Ways of Successfully Dealing 10 Ways of Successfully Dealing with Toxic Peoplewith Toxic People

Presenter: Andrew SanderbeckPresenter: Andrew Sanderbeck

"Recent research from the Department of "Recent research from the Department of Biological and Clinical Psychology at Friedrich Biological and Clinical Psychology at Friedrich Schiller University in Germany found that Schiller University in Germany found that exposure to stimuli that cause strong exposure to stimuli that cause strong negative emotions--the same kind of negative emotions--the same kind of exposure you get when dealing with toxic exposure you get when dealing with toxic people--caused subjects' brains to have a people--caused subjects' brains to have a massive stress response.massive stress response.”” - Travis Bradberry - Travis Bradberry

Goals and ObjectivesGoals and Objectives So what is a toxic person exactly?So what is a toxic person exactly? It takes two – to do the toxic danceIt takes two – to do the toxic dance 10 techniques for handling people 10 techniques for handling people

with toxic behaviorswith toxic behaviors Successfully handling the Successfully handling the ““toxic toxic

bullybully””

Polling Question #1Polling Question #1

I deal with a I deal with a ““toxictoxic”” person or two in person or two in my workplacemy workplace

TrueTrue

FalseFalse

So WhatSo What’’s a Toxic Person Really?s a Toxic Person Really?

It’s not that the whole person is toxic. Rather, their behavior is toxic or your relationship with the person is toxic, said Jodie Gale, MA, a psychotherapist and life coach in Sydney, Australia.

So WhatSo What’’s a Toxic Person Really?s a Toxic Person Really?

“Often the person is deeply wounded and for whatever reason, they are not yet able to take responsibility for their wounding, their feelings, their needs and their subsequent problems in life.”

Polling Question #2Polling Question #2

I have a toxic friend or family member I have a toxic friend or family member

YesYes

NoNo

It Takes It Takes ““TwoTwo”” to Do the Toxic Dance to Do the Toxic Dance

Signs YouSigns You’’re Surrounded by a re Surrounded by a Toxic PersonToxic Person

YouYou’’re emotionally affected by their re emotionally affected by their dramadrama

You dread (or fear) being around themYou dread (or fear) being around them YouYou’’re exhausted or you feel angry re exhausted or you feel angry

while youwhile you’’re with them or after your re with them or after your interactioninteraction

You feel bad or ashamed about yourselfYou feel bad or ashamed about yourself YouYou’’re stuck in a cycle of trying to re stuck in a cycle of trying to

rescue, fix or care for themrescue, fix or care for them

Signs YouSigns You’’re Surrounded by a re Surrounded by a Toxic PersonToxic Person

The other person doesnThe other person doesn’’t respect the t respect the word word ““NoNo”” as a complete sentence as a complete sentence

When youWhen you’’re with them, you feel like re with them, you feel like youyou’’re re ““walking on eggshellswalking on eggshells””

You ignore your own valuesYou ignore your own values You emotionally You emotionally ““check outcheck out”” You feel like youYou feel like you’’re being controlled, re being controlled,

or youor you’’re being overly controllingre being overly controlling

10 techniques for handling people 10 techniques for handling people with toxic behaviorswith toxic behaviors

10 techniques for handling people 10 techniques for handling people with toxic behaviorswith toxic behaviors

10 techniques for handling people 10 techniques for handling people with toxic behaviorswith toxic behaviors

10 techniques for handling people 10 techniques for handling people with toxic behaviorswith toxic behaviors

10 techniques for handling people 10 techniques for handling people with toxic behaviorswith toxic behaviors

10 techniques for handling people 10 techniques for handling people with toxic behaviorswith toxic behaviors

10 techniques for handling people 10 techniques for handling people with toxic behaviorswith toxic behaviors

10 techniques for handling people 10 techniques for handling people with toxic behaviorswith toxic behaviors

10 techniques for handling people 10 techniques for handling people with toxic behaviorswith toxic behaviors

10 techniques for handling people 10 techniques for handling people with toxic behaviorswith toxic behaviors

Successfully handling the Successfully handling the ““toxic bullytoxic bully””

Successfully handling the Successfully handling the ““toxic bullytoxic bully””

Say, "Could you repeat that back to me in a Say, "Could you repeat that back to me in a calmer tone? I kind of missed what you were calmer tone? I kind of missed what you were saying."saying."

Pause. Look puzzled, tilt your head and say, Pause. Look puzzled, tilt your head and say, "Huh?""Huh?"

If they use a lot of hyperbolic language, ask them, If they use a lot of hyperbolic language, ask them, "Do you really believe what you just said?""Do you really believe what you just said?"

If they're venting, employ the "FAU" technique:If they're venting, employ the "FAU" technique:

To pull out some of their animosity, say, "You To pull out some of their animosity, say, "You seem [frustrated, angry, upset] ... what's that seem [frustrated, angry, upset] ... what's that about?"about?"

Polling Question #3Polling Question #3

I learned at least one thing today that I I learned at least one thing today that I can immediately apply!can immediately apply!

YesYes

NoNo

Thanks for Attending!!Thanks for Attending!!