8/13/2019 10 Things You Should Never Say About Yourself

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10 Things You Should Never Say About Yourself

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None but ourselves can free our minds.?Bob Marley

When I was a freshman in high school, and struggling to find my way, someone anonymously slipped a note into my locker one afternoon. It said, Dont let them getinside your head. Youre not boring, nerdy or weird. Youre complex, creative andfar too intelligent for their small words. And for the record, you are also infinitely more attractive than you give yourself credit for.

I never discovered who wrote the note, but whoever they are, they changed my life. From that day forward, I changed the way I talked to myself.

Specifically, I STOPPED saying

1. Im not good enough yet.

You might think youre not good enough, but youll surprise yourself if you keep trying. Your past does not determine who you are. Your past prepares you for who you are capable of becoming. What ultimately defines you is how well you rise after falling. Dont ever be afraid to give yourself a chance to be everything youare capable of being. Forget the haters. Never undervalue who you are and whatyoure capable of. Excellence is the result of loving more than others think isnecessary, dreaming more than others think is practical, risking more than others think is safe, and doing more than others think is possible.

2. I should be living up to other peoples expectations.Remember, its always better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb than the top of the one you dont. Happiness and success is all about spending your life in your own way. Always be yourself and walk your own path. No one can

ever tell you youre doing it wrong. Everyone has their own dreams, their own struggles, and a different path that makes sense for them. You are YOU for a reason.

If you end up living a boring, miserable life because you ignored yourself and instead listened to a parent, a teacher, or some gal on TV telling you how to live your life, then you have no one but yourself to blame. Just remember, the smartest and most courageous act is simply to think for yourself and listen to youown intuition. In the end, its better to die your way, than live someone elses idea of your life. (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the Self-Loveand Relationshipschapters of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

3. What they think and say about me matters.What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

Dont let others crush your dreams. Do just once what they say you cant do, and you will never pay attention to their negativity again. Dont walk away from thesenegative peopleRUN! Good things happen when you distance yourself from negativity and those who create it.

Truth be told, no one has the right to judge you. People may have heard your stories, but they cant feel what you are going through; they arent living YOUR life.

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So forget what they say about you. Focus on how you feel about yourself, anddo what you know in your heart is right.

4. I need recognition for my actions to be worthwhile.Do what you know is right. Integrity is doing the right thing, no matter what,even when nobodys going to know whether you did it or not. Life always finds itsbalance. Dont expect to get back everything you give. Dont expect recognition for every effort you make. And dont expect your kindness to be instantly recognized or your love to be understood by everyone you encounter.

What seems like the right thing to do could also be the hardest thing you have ever done. Do it anyway. There is no greatness or peace of mind where there isbetrayal of your own goodwill. Always aim at complete sincerity of your thoughts, words and deeds. If it is wrong, dont do it. If it is untrue, dont repeat it. Do what you do because you believe its the right thing to do. Do the right thing even when nobody is looking. Be one of the people who make a true differencein the world by leaving it a little better and more wholesome than you found it.

5. Its too late for me.Dont let yesterday steal your present. Dont judge yourself by your pastyou dont lve there anymore. Let go, grow, and move forward. As we grow older and wiser,we begin to realize what we need and what we need to leave behind. Sometimes walking away is a step forward. Sometimes a break from your routine is exactly wh

at you need. Unless you try to master something beyond what you already know, you will feel forever stuck.

Dont waste another minute regretting what you did yesterday, and start doing whatyou have to do now, so tomorrow you wont regret what you did today. Its not toolate. If you feel like it is, its just your inner fears lying to you. But remember, fear doesnt exist anywhere except in your mind. Its difficult to follow yourheart, but its a tragedy to let the lies of fear stop you. (Read Awaken the Giant Within.)

6. I need to have it all figured out.Does the walker choose the path, or the path the walker? Believe it or not, sometimes its the latter.

Sometimes the greatest dreams that come true are the dreams you never even knewyou had. Its about open-minded exploration. There are no wrong turns in life, only paths you didnt know you were meant to walk. You never can be certain whats around the corner. It could be everything, or it could be nothing. You keep putting one foot in front of the other, and then one day you look back and realizeyouve climbed to the peak of the most beautiful mountaintop.

7. I do not have enough to be positive and grateful.Some days youll find diamonds and some days all youll see is coal. However, everyday is a golden opportunity to learn, practice gratitude, and positively impactthe world around you. Do not ask for instant fulfillment in your life, but forpatience to accept your current frustrations. Do not ask for perfection in all

you do, but for the wisdom to not repeat past mistakes. Do not ask for more before saying, THANK YOUfor everything you have already received.

And remember, everything in life is temporary. So if things are good, enjoy it. It wont last forever. If things are bad, dont worry because it wont last forevereither. Just because life isnt stress-free right now, doesnt mean you cant laugh. Just because something is bothering you, doesnt mean you cant smile. The trickis to be grateful when your mood is high and graceful when it is low.

8. My life should be easier and free of discomfort.

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Great challenges make life interesting; overcoming them makes life meaningful.Its how you deal with failure and discomfort that determines your level of success and happiness. Laugh at your mistakes and learn from them. Joke about your troubles and gather strength from them. Have fun with the challenges you face and then conquer them.

Emotional discomfort in life, when accepted, rises, crests and crashes in a series of waves. Each wave washes an old layer of you away and deposits treasures you never expected to find. Out goes inexperience, in comes awareness; out goesfrustration, in comes resilience; out goes hatred, in comes kindness. No one would say these waves of emotional experience are easy to ride, but the rhythm ofemotional discomfort that you learn to tolerate while doing so is natural, helpful and prevalent. The discomfort eventually leaves you stronger and healthier than it found you. (Read Mans Search for Meaning.)

9. I cant forgive them.Forgiveness is a promise. When you forgive someone you are making a promise notto hold the unchangeable past against your present self. Forgiveness doesnt mean what happened was completely excusable, and it doesnt necessarily mean that person should still be welcome in your life. It simply means you have made peace with the pain, and are ready to let it go and move on with your life.

Forgiveness has nothing to do with freeing a criminal of his or her crime. It has everything to do with freeing yourself of the burden of being a victim lettin

g go of the pain and transforming yourself from victim to victor.

10. I am alone.You cant make it through on your own. None of us can. Thats why, thank goodness,you are never as alone as you sometimes feel. So many of us are fighting the same exact battle alongside you. You may feel alone sometimes, but you are not alone in being alone.

To lose sleep worrying about a loved one. To have trouble picking yourself up after someone lets you down. To feel rejected because someone didnt care about you enough to stay. To be afraid to try something new for fear you may fail. None of this means youre weird or dysfunctional. It just means youre human, and thatyou need a little time to regroup and recalibrate yourself.

No matter how embarrassed or pathetic you feel about your own situation, there are others out there experiencing the same emotions. When you hear yourself say,I am all alone,its just your mind trying to sell you a lie. Theres always someonwho can relate to you. Perhaps you cant immediately talk to them, but they areout there, and thats all you need to know right now.

Next stepsIf I eavesdropped on your self-talk, would I hear statements that empower happiness, or statements that refute it? The next time you decide to unclutter your life and clean up your space, start with your intellectual space by clearing outthe old lies and negative self-talk you often recite to yourself.

The floor is yoursWhat would you add to the list? What kind of negative self-talk do you need tostop? What will you never say about yourself again? Share your thoughts with us by leaving a comment below.