10 Mistakes A Screenwriter Makes

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10 MISTAKES THAT CANKILL YOUR SCRIPT

Jurgen Wolffwww.ScreenWrit ingSuccess.com


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10 MISTAKES THAT CAN KILL YOUR SCRIPT1 : A Bor ing Opening

Both in the studio system and the independent sector, people who choose whichscripts are made dont have a lot of time. Basically they are looking for a reasonto reject your script and if you dont capture their interest fast thats exactly whatwill happen.

Dont assume, though, this means your script has to start with a chase,explosion, or violent murder. Heres the one thing your first scene has to do:

To make them want to keep reading.

Thats it.

And thats the basic requirement of every scene that follows.

That means you have to arouse their curiosity. That can be done with a powerfulimage, an intriguing action, or a great line of dialogue.

For example, imagine a scene in which a woman opens a refrigerator door. Shelooks in, turns pale and whispers, Oh my god! Immediately we want to knowwhat shes seen.

Make her line, Oh my god, not again! and we are even more curious.

If you then cut away to another scene without revealing whats in the fridge, youbuild the suspense.

Of course all this has to be done elegantly and in a way that makes sense for theplot and the characters, but fail to do it and theres a good chance you have

sealed the fate of your script within the first five pages.


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2: F lat characters

You know the kind Im talking about: the rule-breaking old cop and his newpartner, the idealistic young rookie.

Yawn.

Seen it before.

Youd better bring something fresh to these two, and fast. The same goes for thetimid nerd, the smooth yuppie, the grumpy boss. Unless you give them an extradimension they will be dead on the page, empty stereotypes that will defeat evengood actors.

Avoid the easy route of having them be the exact opposite of what we expect: thejock who reads poetry, the grump with the heart of gold, the granny who rides amotorcyclethats just laziness taken to the next level.

Instead, think about the people in your own life and how complex they are onceyou get to know them, the little secrets we all harbor. Bring in some of thosecomplexities and contradictionseven if you only hint at themand yourcharacters will come alive.

3: Changing genres halfway through

If its going to be a comedy it had better be funny from page one.

If its going to be a thriller, youd better foreshadow some element of dread orsuspense early on.

Yes, you can mix genres and of course you want to build suspense or jeopardyas the script goes on, not reveal everything in the first scenes.

You can also shift the tone somewhat. But if the audience settles in to enjoy acomedy and halfway through it turns into a non-ironic gore-fest, chances are theywill not be happy.


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4: A story that sags in the middle

Some writers call it the second act swamp. Its that point in the script where

things have gotten off to a great start, the characters have embarked on theiradventure and had one or two obstacles to overcome, but its a long way to thehighest point of the conflict.

This is where a lot of writers start padding. That makes it the part where thereader who was captured by the power of your opening starts to check his or herwatch and flip forward to see how many more pages there are.

It is where the inexperienced writer suddenly devotes ten pages to aninconsequential subplot. Or where the new scene is pretty much the same as theprevious one. Or lots of stuff happens but it doesnt advance the plot.

Where the story sinks and so does the readers attention.

Heres a clue: if the middle doesnt work, your real problem is in the beginning.You havent set up things up to give your characters enough to keep them verybusyin a meaningful wayin the middle of the script.

5: A predictable storySure, there are only 36 plots. Or maybe its 17, or 9, or 42.

Weve seen it all before, but wed better not have seen it in exactly the sameway.

Your secret weapon in overcoming this problem is your characters. Think of threeof your friends or family members. They go to the city (separately) and have theirwallet or purse stolen in the same circumstances. When they come back, theytell you the story. Will each story be exactly the same, or will they vary because

there are three different personalities involved? Im guessing its the latter.

The same thing helps your screenplay. If you have created unique characterseven a familiar experience can seem new.

Of course thats not an excuse for not being innovative in how you construct thestory, its just an element that often is overlooked.


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6: A story that is not about anythingThe most satisfying films have a theme.

The plot is what happens, the theme is what the story is about.

In Avatar the plot was the attempt to conquer a planet in order to mine itsvaluable minerals; the theme was our relationship to nature.

Its not essential that you know the theme of your script before you start writing,although it helps; in some cases you feel driven to write a certain story and onlywhen youre done do you recognize what its about at a deeper level.

Once you know it, all the major scenes should reflect that theme in one way oranother. Not too overtly, though, or itll feel like a sermon.

7 : Clunky dia logue

Dialogue can be bad because its clunky exposition, saying things the othercharacters already know: James, as my brother I expect you to support mydecision despite our differences over the years.

Or it can be clichd: How long have we known each other? You dont knowwho youre dealing with. Ive never loved anyone the way I love you. (If the linecould be the refrain in a pop song, probably its not a great line of dialogue.)

Or it can be stilted or wooden, or melodramatic: Martha, I feel compelled to tellyou about Charles infidelities.

Or it can be too on the nose. I find your conspicuous consumptionreprehensible. Its rare that we actually say what were thinking. More often wesqueeze the meaning between the lines or send a passive-aggressive or ironicmessage. (Wow, you have a lot of stuff! You must be very happy.)

Its an old piece of advice but still valid: read your dialogue out loud or havesomeone else read it out loud for you. Youll spot the clunky bits much moreeasily.


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8: The *the plot made me do it * moment

Weve all seen it: the scene in which the protagonist or (especially) the villaindoes something because the plot requires it, not because its true to thecharacter or the moment.

Heres a typical one for the villain: Ill kill you in a moment, but first let meexplain, with bad exposition, the reason behind every evil thing Ive done so far.

Theres got to be a better way, a way that is motivated logically, to get to the plotdevelopment you need. Your job is to find it.

If you cant, change your characters or the plot.

9: The disappoint ing payoffYou have a great opening and a middle that moves the story along, maybe yourcharacter undergoes an interesting change, and you have set up the reader foran exciting yet unpredictable ending.

Oh oh. Easier said than done.

Thats why so many bad scripts have a payoff that comes out of the blueYes,Joe, you thought I was one of the bad guys but in fact Ive been working for theFBI all along!

Or the intended twist is a whimper rather than a bang.

Want to see a staggeringly good payoff? Watch M. Night Shyamalans The SixthSense. Want to see an ending that should have been the middle? Watch M.Night Shyamalans Unbreakable. Want to see a crappy payoff? Watch M. Night

Shymalans Signs. Want to seen an even crappier payoff? Watch M. NightShyamalans The Village.


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10 : Bad spel l ing and punctuat ion

Your grammar school teacher was right: spelling does count. So does carelesspunctuation. A script that looks like you couldnt be bothered to proofread it is aturn-off. The mistakes distract the readers attention and that can be deadly. Ifyoure no good at spelling and punctuation, find a friend who is and have him orher go over the script for you.

Yes, some movies break these ru les !Wait a minute, you may be saying, last week I saw a movie that broke at leastthree of these rules and got made anyway. Its even making big money at the boxoffice!

In more cases than you might suspect, the script was better before the producer,the director, the star, the stars girlfriend or boyfriend, or the money men got theirmitts on it and made changes to show they had a hand in the process.

In other cases the scripts were flawed to begin with but they got made anyway,maybe because the backers had to spend their $50 million fast to get a tax break

so there wasnt time to rewrite the script, or because the producers have a lowopinion of the intelligence of the audience, or they wouldnt know a good story if itbit them in the backside. Sometimes the special effects are good enough that theaudience is willing to overlook story problems. Sometimes they love a star somuch theyll put up with a lousy picture in order to see her. Sometimes theresone great scene that overshadows the weaknesses.

All Im saying is that if you avoid these ten mistakes, your script is more likely tobe boughtand to be a satisfying experience for the audience when it getsmade.

Good luck, and for more help in creating a great script, sign up for myScreenwriting Success newsletter at the website(www.ScreenWritingSuccess.com) and also visit there often for informative blogposts, articles, and the screenwriting podcast.

Best regards, Jurgen

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10 Mistakes A Screenwriter Makes