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10 Little Habits That Steal YourHappiness

Mar c & Angel | You ultimately become what you repeatedly do. If your habits

aren’t helping you, they’re hurting you. Here are a few examples of the latter 

that will steal your happiness if you let them:

1. Focusing on everyone’s story except your own.

Don’t be so satisfied with the success stories of others and how things have

gone for them that you forget to write your own. Unfold your own tale and

bring it to life. You have everything you need to become what you are

capable of becoming. Incredible change happens when you decide to take

control. This means consuming less and creating more. It means refusing to

let others do your thinking, talking, and deciding for you. It means learning to

respect and use your own ideas and instincts to write your passage.

If you want your life story to soar to new heights, you’ve got to clear a path,

reduce the time-sinks and burdens weighing you down, and pick up the

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things that give you wings.

Keep your best wishes and

your biggest goals close to

your heart and dedicate

time to them every day. If 

you truly care about what

you do and you work

diligently at it, there’s almost

nothing you can’t

accomplish.

2. Waiting for the

perfect moment.

Don’t buy into the myth of 

the perfect moment.

Moments aren’t perfect;

they’re what you make

them. So many people wait

around for the stars to align

to do what they’re here to

do. The perfect moment,

the perfect opportunity, the

perfect state of being, etc.

Wake up! These states of 

perfection are myths. They do not exist.

Your ability to grow to your highest potential is directly related to your 

willingness to act in the face of imperfection. You will come to succeed not by

finding a perfect moment, but by learning to see and use life’s imperfections

perfectly.

3. Working for nothing more than a paycheck.

Work without interest is imprisonment. Even if you aren’t super-passionate

about your work, you’ve got to at least be interested in it. When you design a

lifestyle in which your work is something you suffer through daily strictly to

pay your bills, you end up spending your entire life wishing you had someone

else’s.

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Think about it. This is your 

life; your work will fill a large

percentage of it. It’s not all

about the money; it’s about

you. Ignore the

propaganda, especially

from people who say, “Don’t

let your work define you.”

Reverse this message and

mediate on it: “I will do work

that defines me.” When the

essence of who you are defines at least some slice of the work you do for a

living, that work generates fulfillment.

Bottom line: Interest in your work puts quality in your output and happiness in

your mind. Don’t settle for a paycheck. Shuffle around until you find work

that interests you.

4. Harboring feelings of hate.

 As Martin Luther King Jr. so profoundly said, “Darkness cannot drive out

darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do

that.” Truth be told, when we harbor feelings of hate, it eventually gets the

best of us. It takes control of us. We forget why we hate, what we hate, and

whom we hate – we simply hate for the sake of hating. And then, naturally,

we begin to hate ourselves too.

Everything and everyone you hate rents permanent space in both your head

and heart. So if you want to eliminate something or someone from your mind,

don’t hate. Instead, disconnect yourself, move on, and don’t look back.

5. Holding tight to worries and fears.

Someday when you look back over your life you’ll realize that nearly all of 

your worries and anxious fears never came to fruition – they were completely

unfounded. So why not wake up and realize this right now. When you look

back over the last few years, how many opportunities for joy did you destroy

with needless worry and negativity? Although there’s nothing you can do

about these lost joys, there’s plenty you can do about the ones that are still

to come.

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You will find that it’s necessary to let some things go simply for the reason

that they’re heavy on your heart and soul. Let go of them. Don’t clamp

shackles to your own ankles. It’s incredibly easy to enjoy more of your life

right now, no matter what the situation. It’s just a matter of letting go of the

layers of nonsense that are weighing you down.

Let go of your worries and fears, of your rage and jealousy, of your need to

always be right and control others. Let go of your pretentiousness and your 

need to have everything your way. Underneath all these layers of nonsense

there is a happy, productive person. When you start peeling them off and

simply appreciating everything for what it is, life can be wonderfully fulfilling.

6. Dwelling on diff iculties.

 A bad day is just a bad day. Choose not to make it anything more. Times of 

adversity will inevitably affect the conditions in which you live and work; yet

you don’t have to let it affect who you are and where you’re headed. Take

note of the setbacks and adjust to them, but don’t expand on them by making

them a bigger part of your life.

Every day brings new lessons and new possibilities. There is always a way to

take the next step forward on the path you’ve chosen. Events may be terrible

and inescapable at times, but you always have choice – if not when, then

how, you may endure and proceed onward.

7. Constantly seeking fleeting contentment.

There are two variations of contentment in life – fleeting and enduring. The

fleeting type is derived from instants of material comfort, while the enduring

type is attained through the gradual growth of your mind. At a glimpse it

might be difficult to decipher one from the other, but as time rolls on it

becomes vividly obvious that the latter is far superior.

Enduring contentment sustains itself through life’s ups and downs, because

through them your mind remains confident and at peace. On the other hand,

when life’s fleeting changes have the ability to ruffle your mind into a frenzy,

even the most elaborate physical comforts won’t make you any happier for 

very long.

8. Trying to make a big difference all at once.

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If you want to make a difference in the world, start with the world around you.

Making a big difference all at once is usually impossible, and the process of 

trying is extremely stressful. However, instantly making a difference in a few

lives is entirely possible and usually fairly easy. You just have to focus on

one person at a time and start with the one closest to you.

Work to make a bunch of small splashes, and let the ripples spread

naturally. If you want to change a person’s mind or mood, sometimes you

have to change the minds or moods of the people around them first. For 

instance, if you make one person smile, their smile just might make others

smile too. In this subtle way, you can touch the masses with your 

thoughtfulness without stressing yourself out.

9. Holding on to someone who hurts you.

Sometimes you have to walk away from people, not because you don’t care,

but because they don’t. When someone hurts you time and time again,

accept the fact that they don’t care about you. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but

it’s necessary medicine. Do NOT strive to impress them any further. Waste

not another second of your time trying to prove something to them. Nothing

needs to be proven. Do not act with any thought of them ever again.

10. Over-amplifying the importance of physical

attractiveness.

Infatuating yourself with someone simply for what they look like on the outside

is like choosing your favorite food based on color instead of taste. It makes

no sense. It’s innate, invisible, unquantifiable characteristics that create

lasting attraction.

Just as some people enjoy the smell of mint, while others prefer the scent of 

cinnamon, there is an undeniable, magnetic draw that attracts you to the

qualities of certain people, places, and things. Sometimes it’s even the scars

your soul shares with them that reels you in and creates the very hinges that

hold you together in the long run.

Photo by: Georges Petrequin

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