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1
Stages of Crisis Development
Anxiety (Nox.
event…emotional dysregulation
Belligerent (Cognitive
Dysregulation)
Destructive Behavior (behavioral dysregulation)
Tension Reduction (Re-regulation via exhaustion)
Remorse (Shame)
David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301 based on CPI model
Conditions Associated with Increased Vulnerability to Behavior and Emotional Dysregulation Neurophysical irregularities and brain
chemistry e.g. Attention deficit disorder, Schizophrenia, Autism Spectrum Disorder, Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Effects, Bipolar Disorders, Lowered levels of Serotonin, overload of cortisol, Blood sugar irregularities
Intoxication from alcohol or other drugs Chronic exposure to trauma…or coping with
unmet basic needs (Survival Orientation)
Jane Gilgun Ph.D. University of MN, School of Social Work http://ssw.che.umn.edu/Faculty_Profiles/Gilgun_Jane/Gilgun_pubs.html
Growth versus Survival Mode Growth Mode: When environment
provides youth with basic needs, safety, and support for developmental growth.
Survival Mode: When environment is ambivalent to the needs of youth or withholds resources youth need for developmental growth.
4David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
Chronic Trauma that Contributes to Survival Orientation Unreliable or absent parent/care-providers
Unresolved/Unprocessed loss Exposure to violence
Victim of violence, abuse, neglect Witnessing violence
Poverty/Unmet basic needs (food, shelter, clothing, etc.) Transience/ changing housing, schools, etc. Refugee status/ immigration to avoid persecution Living in a neighborhood that is dangerous …physically,
emotionally threatening. Being subjected to chronic racism …or bias based on
identity/personhood. (institutional or personal)
5David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
Survival Orientation
Adaptation to a challenging if not impossible situation…not a choice or decision.
Sometimes temporary and disappears with time and support…however, sometimes multi-generational.
Not likely to be black and white…present in degrees…and stronger in some areas than others.
6
Survival Mode Assumptions Privileged Assumptions
Individual Needs First: Take what you want…or you won’t get what you need.
“The System” is corrupt and cannot be trusted or counted on.
Relationships: Relationships are used to get what you need or want…loyalty is extreme, but reserved for select friends/family. (Friends/family always backup in a dangerous situation.)
Choices based on…immediate outcome. Future is almost always uncertain.
Organization Skills: Organizing things, time, and processes is futile, because schedule and proximity is unpredictable.
External locus of control: Because environment is dangerous and unregulated. What others do or say dictates behavior. Therefore individual responsibility is not necessarily assumed
Respect (from others) is primal: Demanding respect from others is critical to not just esteem but also safety. If disrespect is tolerated….exploitation will follow.
Group/Individual Needs: There’s enough for all if we only take what we need.
“The System” generally works and can be trusted.
Relationships: Relationships are used as a demonstration of popularity..loyalty is less critical ….(Police are backup in a dangerous situation.)
Choices Based on Longer-term Outcomes: Future is predictable if we learn how to plan for it.
Organization Skills: Learning to keep track of things, time and processes is almost automated…However, boys generally develop the skill later than girls.
Internal locus of Control: Because most environments are regulated and monitored. Self-regulation skills are encouraged, supported and taught. Personal responsibility is generally assumed.
Respect based on internal Processes: Demanding respect not required…respect from others is assumed. Safety is based on a deep trust of the system as managed by others.
7David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
Inherent Strengths of Survival Based Orientation
• Youth develop 6th sense for interpreting non-verbal communication. (Reads people quickly and accurately)
• Youth develop uncanny ability to quickly interpret dangerous situations.
• Youth develops sense of resilience based on ability to do without.
• Ability to perform under pressure can be enhanced. (for some)
• Youth develops strong sense of loyalty to people they trust.
• Youth have capacity for exceptional strength, passion, courage.
• Often provides solid foundation for entrepreneurial and negotiating skills.
David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
Challenges of Survival Orientation
• Privileged Public often sees survival-based clients either as deserving pity…or as threatening and intimidating…or lazy. (rescue the children, lock up the teens, punish the parents,) Compassion to Fear to Disgust.
• Trust is black or white, trusts some too much and others too little…challenges with regulating degrees of trust.
• Decision making focuses primarily on short-term payoffs.
• Organization skills are frequently thwarted. (especially with males)
• Perceived disrespect from others often results in escalating conflicts….sometimes resulting in violence.
• Posturing results in youth feeling he/she has no choice but to “act out” to maintain identity.
• External locus of control thwarts development of self-regulation skills and positive identity formation.
David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
Middle School Identity Options: as Reported by a Young African-American Male in St. Paul Dope Boy Thug Gangster Athlete Playboy Book-Kid (Smart Boy)
David Wilmes, Donnie Preston [email protected] 651-771-1301
Office Referrals by Race
Total Population
Total Num. of referrals
Rate of Referrals per Student
Asian 128 30 .2
White 257 147 .6
Native Am. 11 17 1.5
Hisp./Lat. 66 127 1.9
Black/Afr. Am. 280 998 3.6
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Referral GroupsNumber of Referrals Number of Students
in GroupPercentage of total student group
0 to 1 571 77%
2 to 5 96 13%
6 or more 78 10.5%
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Likelihood of being in “6 or More” Group….by Race
N in the group of “6 or more”
Likelihood of a student of this race being in the “6 or more”
Asian 1 .8 % or roughly 1 in 120
White 4 1.6% or roughly 1 in 62
Hisp/Latino 7 10.6% or roughly 1 in 9
Black/Af. Am.
66 23.6% or roughly 1 in 4.3
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Survival Mode Beliefs About Respect Disrespect fueled by “I won’t give it if I
don’t get it”…If they don’t respect me, then why should I give them respect.
Escalating violence fueled by “If someone disrespects you then you have the right (and responsibility) to demand they show you respect using whatever means needed.”
15David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
Escalating Disrespect
From Adults Perspective:
They don’t like me.They think they’re
in charge.They’re
encouraging others to join in.
If I let this happen, then…I don’t know what will be next.
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From Youth Perspective:– She doesn’t like me.
– She’s disrespecting me.
– She’s treating me like I’m nothing. (trash, punk, baby, etc…)
– They need to learn I’m somebody.
– I’ll teach them…(and prove to my friends) I can’t be disrespected this way.
David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
Survival Mode Students…Leading to Power Struggles with Staff
Examples that I know “hook me” in:__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
17David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
Family Power Struggles
Power Struggles with Racial Overtones
I can’t.
I won’t.
I don’t have to.
You can’t make me!
Vulgar language….tantrums.
Threats to parent, the house or self.
I’ll show you…. follow-through on threats.
I’ll call child protection.
I don’t know what she wants. (Directive is confusing, unclear, ambiguous, or beyond youth’s ability)
What she expects isn’t fair. ( directive perceived as disrespectful, shameful or laced with personal judgment about youth or their family)
Nobody here understands me or how I feel. (no-one in charge looks like me.)
Nobody will make me their punk. (Respect only comes from force….)
Racial/sexual name-calling (white b___, etc. )
I’ll get you….covert or overt threats. (If you don’t demand respect you won’t get it)
Follows through with threat, (immediate or later retribution)
I’ll call my people. (family, friends, etc.)
David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
Power Struggle Outcomes
Youth from Privileged Mode
Youth from Survival Mode
Parents are Contacted School consequence Parent/system
collaboration Mental health
involvement Sanctions that lead to
behavioral redirection, mental health intervention.
School Suspension, expulsion
Police involvement Juvenile Detention Certification as an adult
(in legal system) Sanctions that lead to
expulsion, correctional intervention.
Youth can be killed (usually power struggles with peers)
David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
Why Adults Escalate? We’ve let behavior norms become “too hot” We don’t see the early signs. We feel our authority is threatened. Power plays or disrespect create uncomfortable
or unpredictable emotions for us. Our style of behavior management is:
Authoritarian….resulting in kids feeling discounted.Permissive…kids push us to see how far they can
go.Disengaged…kids immediately take control of the
environment…we wait too long to engage.
20David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
From Power to Authority
Personal Power
21
Control/Influence
Accountability
Responsibility
Authority
Growth
Social (peers)
Systems (adults)
Direction (adults)
Commitments
David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
Anticipating Power Struggles Knowing the early signs of a Power Struggle:
Signs in us Signals from the young person (and knowing what's at
stake for the student) Exercising adult authority without challenging their newly
emerging power. (Authoritative Management) Teaching young people the link between power to make
choices and Potential outcomes. Learning takes place only in a de-escalated environment.
(When student has re-regulated) Allowing and engaging youth in honest conversation
regarding power (especially power associated with race, gender, class, etc.)
Target small behavioral issues…before they escalate. Never ignore thinking but use interventions that engage,
22David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
Adults who Escalate Often: Wait too long to intervene…tolerating too much,
leading into frequent escalations of big stuff. Feel insecure or unsure about their authority. Fail to understand youth’s need to maintain esteem
with peers…or try to “take the youth down a notch” with their peers or neighbors.
Non-verbal communication shows: Disrespect (Judging) Artificial Concern (touching or shows pity) Lack of acceptance (Scowling) Uses humor derisively (Humiliating)
Verbal communication is: Loud (intimidating) Threatening (Uses ultimatum) Racially offensive (Uses slang or nicknames inappropriately)
David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
Adults who Defuse Power Struggles:
Have a large arsenal of low-level consequences or behavioral responses that work for them and their clients.
Have a persona that makes ALL students think they care…despite the fact that they have very firm expectations.
In conflict situations they: Remove audience Move back Get softer, quieter. Maintain contact without being close. Deal only in present reality (don’t get into past or future). Use their relationship with the youth to remind the youth of “their
better self” Focus on the immediate goal of safety Never make promises you cannot or will not keep.
24David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
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Authoritarian
Authoritative
Uninvolved
Permissive
Four Styles of
Adult Supervis
ion
Managing Environments
David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
27
Attachment
Autonomy
Expectations
Firmness
Conflict Style: Escalating Power Struggles
Provides Youth: Clear Direction, Unambiguous Rules
Perceived as: Brittle
World View: If we could only keep the troublemakers out of here…
Authoritarian Style
David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
28
Attachment
Autonomy
Expectations
Firmness
Conflict Style: Gives in
Provides Youth: Too much freedom
Perceived as: Naive
World View: Kids only need love…
Permissive Style
David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
29
Attachment
Autonomy
Expectations
Firmness
Conflict Style: Avoids conflict by ignoring
Provides Youth: No adult leadership or presence
Perceived as: Invisible
World View: I’ve only got 4 hours left to endure…
Uninvolved Style
David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
30
Attachment
Autonomy
Expectations
Firmness
Conflict Style: Conflict is a means of problem solving
Provides Youth: Direction, Support, and Structure
Perceived as: Authority figure, but fair and helpful
World View: Kids need adults….
Authoritative Style
David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
Triangulated Environments
31David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
Where Am I?
32David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
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Early 8-12 Mid 13-16 Late 17-24 Achieving Autonomy
Est. Personal Power/Ego
Strength
Est. Identity Establish Independence
Primary Struggle
Power Struggles With Authority
Search For Identity Distinct from
Parents and Family
Quest For Financial, Emotional, And
Physical Independence.
Risk Evaluation
Evaluates Risk Based On Here
And Now
Evaluates Risk On Short-Term
Future
Evaluates Risk On Longer-Term
Future
Future??? 1-5 Days 1-12 Months 1 -3 Years
Moral Development
Fear Of Getting Caught. Avoiding
Neg. Consequences
Putting Self In Others Shoes, Not Wanting Others To
Be Hurt
Doing The Right Thing.
Decision Making
Personal Accountability
Choices Have Outcomes
Developing Empathy
Choices Effect Others
Developing Social Conscience Choices Make a
Difference
Brain Development Cognitive Functions
Fight/Flight
Cause & Effect Reasoning
Problem Analysis
Emotional Functions
Primary Emotions Amygdala
based…Fear, Anger, Sadness, Disgust, Joy
Secondary Emotions
Rooted in cognition…Anxiety,
Stress, Shyness
Intuition Automated logic based
on experience with analysis and secondary
emotions
Planning Functions
Impulsive: Based on immediate
primary emotions
Deliberate: Cognitive assessment
and emotional awareness intertwine
Strategic: Considers Long/short
term consequences coupled with intuition
The brain develops from back-to-front
How the Brain Develops:
Learning Experiences…Cause gray matter to thin when neurons fire forming new neural connections…Repetition
causes the connections that fire together will eventually wire together.
Brain Development Not Complete in Adolescence Prefrontal Cortex one of last parts of the
brain to fully mature. This part of the brain responsible for
“executive functioning”Decision makingPlanningJudgementExpression of emotionsImpulse control
Limbic System also under Construction This part of the brain is responsible for:
MotivationEmotionLearningMemory
Tightly connected to the prefrontal cortex…tied to mood swings and impulsiveness of adolescence.
Dopamine Production levels Shift Dopamine helps link actions to pleasure. Levels required for pleasure rise…
leading to boredom with previous activities
Leading adolescent to seek pleasure via increasingly risky behavior (sex, drugs, criminal activity, etc.)
NORMAL Adolescent Brain Dev. can lead to assumptions…
No motivation to learn, No ability to control her/his impulses, An addiction to superficial excitement and
stimulation, No capacity to focus his/her attention (other
than on video games and girl/boyfriends) No ability to think about longer-term goals
and objectives.
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Authority Issues…Growth Mode Staff and Survival Based Students Positional authority is not respected by survival
based students or parent…authority based on relationship is.
Being labeled a trouble maker is badge of honor for the student…and sometimes the parent.
“Getting one over” is validation of outsmarting the system…and therefor an indicator of power.
Active display of disrespect (to traditional authority and certain peers) is a means of demonstrating power, status, and demanding respect from others.
Compliance undermines “street credibility” often viewed as lacking authenticity, heart, or courage…or being “white”.
Using Behavior as a Teachable Moment Assumes:
Relationship/Connection
Kids believe we care about them
We understand misbehavior
We’re confident of our selves and our authority
43
What does it look like?
•
•
•
•
David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
Adult Responses to Student Behavior Internalizing Student’s Behavior
happens when we feel student’s behavior is about us, directed at us, or because of us.
Responding to Student’s Behavior is possible when we realize that most student behavior reflects something about the student. We are then able to choose our response based on what's best for the student and/or the situation.
44David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
Misbehavior is an opportunity to teach
Internalizing Versus Responding to Student’s Problem Behavior Responding to
Behavior: Ignore Mark Re-direct Intervene Interfere
Internalizing Behavior: Worry/Fear Anxiety (chronic worry) Self Doubt Anger Intolerance/Rejection
45David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
Levels of Behavioral Response
IgnoringIgnoring Goal of the behavior is to “get us Goal of the behavior is to “get us going”going”
MarkingMarking Behavior can’t be ignored…but Behavior can’t be ignored…but timing or situation are not timing or situation are not appropriate.appropriate.
RedirectingRedirecting Shifting attention or activity to Shifting attention or activity to something more positivesomething more positive
InterveneIntervene DESI: Describe behavior, DESI: Describe behavior, Express Concern, Suggest, Express Concern, Suggest, Involve. Involve.
InterfereInterfere When behavior is dangerous to When behavior is dangerous to self, environment, or others.self, environment, or others.
46David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
Responding to Charged Behavior
DESI MessageNegative Behavior
Dee MessagePositive Behavior
Describe the behavior
Express your concern
Suggest alternative behavior
Involve yourself.
Describe the positive behavior.
Express your appreciation
Encourage to continue
47David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
Consequences versus Punishment Educational Timely Challenge (but not defeat) Logical Consistent Escalating Presented Calmly
48David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
Consequences What they are:
Teaching basics of right and wrong.Gives youth the incentive to do well.Interrupts patterns of problem behavior.Educates as to the outcome of behavior.
Impact on change:More effective (than punishment) at providing insight
to move from pre-contemplation to contemplation. Survival-based youth greatly benefit from adult assistance and cultural support to avoid personalizing consequences.
Can provide impetus to move from contemplation to preparation….but not likely without previous knowledge or adult support.
50
Stages of Change
Pre-contemplation Not Aware of the problem …
Contemplation Aware of problem, but “on the fence” … Questions focus on What? and Should/can I?
Preparation Intending, planning to Act …Questions focus on How?
Action Experimenting with a new behavior
Practice Modification of new behavior
Maintenance Success, regress, readjust, success…
Prochaska JO, DiClemente CC, Norcross JC. .
Initial Motivation (From pre-contemplation to Contemplation)
Fallacy of believing we can motivate Identifying initial motivators:
○ Not wanting to lose…○ Wanting to keep…○ Sick and Tired of…○ Afraid that…
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Getting Ready (From Contemplation to Preparation)
Emotional conditions Required for Preparation…
Relationship conditions required for Preparation….
“Chunking it Down”…helping build steps for change.
Keeping it small…one step at a time…and allow for incremental change
53
Action (From preparation to Action)
Remembering motivation…why am I really doing this, and for whom?
Focus and time. What am I working on this week, (is it visible to others or only me.)
Tracking. (How do I know I’m doing it?...and where’s the record.)
Rewards…why am I doing this again??? What will work for me?
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Practice and Maintenance When do I review and with whom? Who should I tell and when? How perfect should I be
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57David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
Oppositional/Anti-Social Behavior Continuum Lethal activity to self or others Firing Gun on school property Stabbing (non-fatal) Hate Crime Sexual Assault Assaulting a Staff Member Fighting (with a weapon) Intimidating (with a weapon) Threatening a Staff Member Extortion/Stalking Theft/Vandalism Cursing at authority figure Fighting (without a weapon) Sexual, Racial, or Religious Harassment Pulling, Grabbing, Ripping Clothing Taunting, Verbal Intimidation (peers) Threats to peers Slapping, Pushing, Hitting, Spitting Running in halls Refusing to stay in seat Vulgar language Fake fighting Violating classroom rules Defying authority Rumors, Gossip Escalating arguments Teasing/put downs (peers) Inappropriate gesturing Throwing objects Distracting others Not listening Interrupting others Not following directions Uninvolved (off-task) Late for class Unprepared for class/activity
Oppositional Behavior
Distracting Behavior
Anti-Social Behavior
Quick Lessons…About Escalating Continuums• Limits predict actual behavior.
• If we don’t sweat the “small stuff”…small behaviors quickly escalate into “big stuff”
• Adults who can’t differentiate between the “right small stuff” and “picky stuff”…get caught in non-ending power struggles.
• Choose your battles. (time, place, setting, and issue.)…when you choose to engage...you have to be able to follow through…some situations are “no-win” situations.
• Consequences interrupt behavior, but are not enough to change or teach new behavior.
David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
Focusing on the Right Stuff
Picky Stuff•Focuses on pet peeves, Not necessarily related to the class or group objectives
•Often confused by students as being tied to identity.
•The question of “why?” is complicated, confusing, or answerable only by “I say so!”.
•Sometimes considered as a “personal crusade” against a particular behavior.
The Right Stuff•Focuses on the behavior required for the class to function.
•Important for others to be successful.
•Important for safety.
•The question of “why?” is easily answered.
•Something that the building staff have agreed to focus on.
David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
Limits/Expectations Behavior Specific Enforceable Pro-Active, Always target Safe Levels of Behavior Linked to the Goals of the class Limited in Number (Guideline based…with details
discussed, modified, demonstrated, and or displayed. Respect for Self and OthersRespect for Building and EquipmentRespect for My Work and the Work of Others
60David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
Proactive Limits Provide the Structure for Classroom Proficiency
What does it look like to respect self and others?
What does it look like to respect building and equipment?
What does it look like to respect the mission of this class? (Respect for what is being taught respect for how it is being taught and respect for how others learn.)
61
Routines They guide behavior that is associated with
beginning, middle and ends of an event: Entering class….behavioral speed bumps First 5 minutes of class…reengagement. Next xx minutes…work phase. Final 5-10 minutes…closure phase.
They cover the basic responsibilities you consider essential for your class to engage in instruction.
Knowing the routines provides students with structure to focus.
Knowing how to participate and be successful with the routines of the class provides youth with security for risk taking.
62David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
Rituals Rituals create the foundation for meaning and attachment Endorsed by Peers Event/Action Oriented (Participation Based) Based on Identity, Definition of “Home”
It’s Who We AreIt’s What We do Here
Consequences Are Peer Led Schedule Driven (daily, weekly, monthly, annual, or special) Positive Rituals:
Reinforce Pro-Social BehaviorBuild Group CohesionWelcome New Members
Rituals often include one or more of, fun, food, recognition, ceremony, symbolism
63David Wilmes, [email protected] 651-771-1301
64
Collaborative Problem Solving What it is?
Teaches new patterns of behaviorHelps understand roadblocks/barriers to new behaviorDevelops relationships that instruct, reinforce, and coach
how to do new behavior. Impact on Change
Assumes the youth is at least in contemplation stage …and ready to move to “preparation” stage of change.
Provides the skills, instruction, support, for completion of preparation and movement into action, practice and maintenance stages of change.
Collaborative Problem Solving Empathy
We demonstrate that we are interested in understanding the person behind the behavior. (hearing the students perspective)
Defining the problem (Help student understand):○ Precursors of the behavior (e.g. When someone disagrees with you)
○ Context of the behavior (e.g. How it fits in with friends, family.)
○ Pattern of the behavior (e.g. when your bored, tired, etc.)
Invitation to solve the problemChunking it downEstablish a time planCreate doable celebration points
Consequences vs. Problem Solving Consequences are essential to
INTERRUPT OLD patterns of behavior.
Collaborative Problem Solving is one of the best methods for TEACHING NEW behaviors.
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ClassRoom Insubordination Category Power group ranks:
Power Brokers (focus on no more than 2)Attention Seekers (Class clowns)Chorus (Audience for the class clowns)Struggling (Students with intrinsic
challenges)Eager Students (Students who are
interested in learning)
Step One: Prepare Yourself• Are you a good teacher or not…confront
your anxieties.• Get feedback from folks who really know.• Get backup…
– Describe the situation– Find out as much as you can about power
brokers, attention seekers, and vulnerable students.
– Develop a plan…– Articulate the plan, and prepare for support if
needed.
Step One: Engaging the Power Brokers Focus on them individually Understand their agenda State your agenda in clear non-
judgemental language Collaborative problem solve (lets make
a deal). Describe solution (deal) in very firm and
observable behavioral terms.
Step Two: Group Dynamics Redefining expectations (for the class) Giving concrete examples of what
works….and what doesn’t. (What success looks like.)
Anticipating, defusing, and defining expectations for the small stuff:
○ Pencil sharpener○ Bathroom needs○ Chatting○ Electronics