1 SIGFRIDSSON

AS ONE

GOTSALA 46

PHOTOGRAPHY BY 1 SIGFRIDSSON

ALL RIGHTS OWNED BY 1 SIGFRIDSSON

ISBN 978-91-979005-3-9 ISBN 978-91-979005-0-8

PRINTED EDITION E-BOOK

I AM

Wanted a slumber down in the valleyclose by almond trees in worthy bloomRing the always longed for lyre tones.

But, became another

Wished to stand free in dark green autumncleansed from all the living years’ hard grin

To live and die pretty as an autumn leaf.

But, am by mistakes tied

Became rainfall, cold calling winds, trust in Fate,a brief scent before death,

as scythed nettle,broken citrus leaves,

autumn land after night rains

It wishes to shatter here

between the gravel and the foliage

Finding the worst love

That, which could not be found

But, I can undoubtedly love

when there is something to love

I am laid opened, as one solely unrotten,in the apple basket given to the sorrowsI am so strangely hard, so oddly grained,to be carried away from abandoned mills

Knowing all waving wind-flowers Sun kissedThose, beautifully crestfallen, already dulled,worn inside a heart that was nearly enoughand to your refusal have never been missed

For me, betrayal is not good enough,cleanest love violated,

the ruins’ clothesor my own will’s struggle slaughtered

I am entangled,stricken down in quenching pettiness

I am grieved,filled with all the days’ nothingness

I am mist raised,clouded, covered underneath weakened will

I am hidden,with this unreachable cold-hammered need

I am glowing snow on frozen stockin memory’s burned down forests

I am incarcerated,left where blemishes are left

I am my winnings pulled away,taken and swept in a gulp

I am a still night cloud, a raised scent of leaves,that will never find the Worlds again

Holding the Tree you know carries your leaveswhile we break its limbs

I am this.

I am what you never can feel or know

IN YET ANOTHER AUTUMNFALL

Dream me in rowanwreathed autumnforest dayswhere shimmering clings near the sleeping fieldsmeanwhile a broken mist stumbles, lifts — Rises

And a silent rain sweeps — The bonfire hisses

Travelling mist covered

And soon it dawns again — Again

Watching wilderness, playing with dry leaves,eating my thistles carefully and gifting smilesbeneath days of past in mirrored greyish skies

And have alone been stuck — Where Time stopped

The almost unnoticed waves in the mountain creekare listening near to the pleasing small drops of rain,

watching this forest thin slowly with this Autumnand knew these leaves would fall in here — Again

Travelling mist covered — TracelessAnd soon it dawns again — Again

Reached an early marsh under slow leaf falling,herein may serenity caress and milden

You, Autumnland, are Death’s lost portentAnd soon a winternightwind was heard calling

GOTSALA

Wandering primeval forest, through swamps and over meadows

Living on reed root, lingo berries and blueberries Tasting the smell of wet moss and resin

Carry me to glimmering lights from the pond mirrors where the bed beside here is laid spruce twigs in a glade

Handed a handshake to the dew

when the hearts storms were overcome Casted cleansed from the poverty need

to find myself rested near the trees

I shall make snow here Wrap myself in soft moss

Climb inside the faded flowers underneath ill-painted dark skies

Molts of cold

Mist rests

Breaking sleep off

Inside this waiting the inner life-achievement is done

Learning to live

Again

WINTERFELLED

Letting your nightsnow glimmer

Calming the storm while ice snare branches

And it is winterstill

by sprucewhisper above fleetingly singing ices,by thousands of frozen tarns inside forest glades

Winterfelled,

rime grabs hold of the brancherylike we hear our groaning steps silenced

Listen.

Be quiet now, snowfall,

right here, by the spruce, the winterbird eats for its lifewhile Death wants to say something about the sorrows

— I was the one born unto snow in a permanent thaw,one the world skyembraced sprinkled splintered answersand left me to be remained, long lasting as tender snow,one so aloned, leaving all my sorrows over wrong graves

In tears collecting the dead heart before the sick

The last sight endearing land of blood and stonesas I squint over all of this too thin-sown beautyfrosty nights caught frozen in a shined darkness

Want to own myself nothing beyond rest, Endtime dozed away,want something higher the flames of will sent me burnt in here

In tears collecting the living heart before the dead

MY LOVE

THIS IS THE TENDER EMBRACE OF LOVE!

Binding twigs against darkness, the threatening, which threatens to burn all our heartsongs

and take what is lovable from its curing

A young Ash bends down to answer

Flowers step up and play!

My love is for springs, blackberries and rainbows! My love is for silver fir trees and wild grown pear trees! My love is the sun-warmed cowslip slopes and paddocks!

I kiss the wind healthy, smiling with the skies here,

laughing at the curious fox there! An appreciation of the volatile you learn

whereas we to our heart pick berries!

The wagtail trips, the worms lay on a line A twig is broken on the ground far from a town

Stone shards stand in a circle The cornflower knows everything!

My love is for the groves, wild strawberries and ponds!

My love is for mushrooms and extensive valleys! My love is the glittering creeks and mountain trails!

MY LOVE IS FOR EVERYTHING WORTH LOVING!

RAINED

Rain thickens the skies, dresses the landscape

A heavy rain wets the forest, dances in the stream,bends bilberry shrubs placed upon the mossed stones

while running rills nearby through the thicket, as for a dream

Stumbling roots — diverting wounds

There! Sunbeamembraced wild treeshidden mountainwreathed wastelandstrengthens what memories miraged:

Strangely Reality has been branched

There lies an arrow in the rain, shot,brought here, stuck into a forsaken heart

Sent here silenced, bittered and lived

Stopped.

Rained in sea

LET ME SEARCH FOR FOUR-LEAF CLOVERS

Let me be in all the days where wild strawberries are attached to straw,

where lilies of the valley gleam white in the glades and my chanterelles glow yellow from the groves

Let me search for four-leaf clovers Let me gladly drown the sorrow

and become the real in me Let me inoculate a leaf on a three-leaf clover

Let me create four-leaf clovers!

LET ME!

Remaining here was this heart in its anciently dormant well

to retrieve, open and carryRaising myself

Letting me newkiss the wetlands’ sun-warmed cloudberries in the wilderness where the deer’s dances nightly with elks while these stars in this night are set guard over the sparks and the rowan berries solemnly sail across the forest lakes

Raising myself

It takes a while

before the veils bend down

Gone

are dusted membranes

AWAITED

Awaken in the moment mists climb the mountain

Writing three words; Not a word —on molten fragile leaves the winds have thrown around

I hasten there, up to, close to almond trees in its new,refilling calm and leaving behind tears from a joyousthat will soon trickle me away fast against this worldas missed moments of beauty finds sorrows for days

Eagles and ravens follow through the valley glenhome to how Wind caresses the clouds slightly — Home

Here — over these chamomilestrewn tracks that meanderson a gathered freodpath far away from the wound’s revilers

Hold me as one always awaited, present and sorely missed,owning these memories that was worthy to be left alone

and continue to blossom sweetly here, even after my death

Shifting —Moving eyes between Light and the afterglow of darkness

The night has torn itself, sending lovewords to the Universe again,kissing the stars eyes softly, tenderly, without any frailty to remain

IN AN AWAITED LUSTFALL

Leaned against this mirkened fence are we found equally bleached,

beaten by sun, rain and winter cold

The wait was like cracks around ice-holes, in cold, not reliable and in complete inadequacy, for the scum’s loopholes, nonsensical sidetracks,

refused me to blossom anew during my withering

It all just carried on, kept creating that — nothing, when all of this suffering bred forth its pitifulness

So, show me a memory freed from complaint here, but honourable to my eyes can only Knowledge be

I am the quarry of Life’s faults with my pathfound steps

Loved

Always feared

Hated

Always hailed

IN CLARITY MIST

JOY! Smithen here in thy strength,always be Viet honourable wisdom to embrace

and sweetened glitter, glim, IN CLARITY — MIST

TRUTH! Honour is all love,Life won high and dignified to the alone

secrets poured blood, IN CLARITY — MIST

MIGHTS! Open our Reality,now carefully touch the skies risted earth

and watchfully let us remain, IN CLARITY — MIST

ALLODJORD

See

earth fill cloth

Hear

ditches in still trickle

Hamstringing Fate.

Waiting three Sundays

Breaking nested dusk — CracksOpening the drum — CracksFrozen solid wells — Cracks

Making torched night paths there black-clad birds danceswhile the moon bites caress inside a Windkissed harvest

Lifting,

pressing land and mountains home to Godan blood

BLOOD TRACKS

Think of faded traces of blood in the woods turned into dust

in a last kiss of grey

Two footprints under the turf Two dead at this place again

Our eyes are still here,

crowned over perfection, for we kissed the lack of death

and put stones on thistles

We’re awaken, seen in wounds

Heal, we heal

IN STILLNESS YOUR NAMES ARE WHISPERED

Have caught the swallows shriek Laid dead flowers on the meadow

Searched fragments of hardened memories

Incarnating a kiss from memory.

Renascent

A window through the treetops shows its shards’ glow over the ground

It is spoken here with bird words where our embers become burning

Standing in and by the solid Tree

we cry happiness in the warm rain

In this high, bright and blue, above the plum trees blooming,

down by the hyacinths beneath the skies, we were embraced here to protected be

STAND TREE!

Stand tree with your branches as arms’Stand tree robed clean in blue and gold

Stand tree in skin of bark of our innermost saved

Shards, our richest shards of cried blood

created for happiness and sweetness, worthy of our own home carried bliss

In stillness your names are whispered

Like fog thrown

Dream without sleep Sigh in wind

That was the memory

Care for it tenderly

STONESWISDOM!

How embarrassing you have become,your scent too near the madhouse

sings its sorrows without any good motives

What wisdom has cannot be usedwhen what wisdom lacks is asked for

From the remains think yourself cleanand take the heart freed from words,

for the thoughts upon your pathwhere no one wish to wander

crawl down in the groundwhere nothing can grow

and carve ruins of the yearsto a paltry salary

in shadowlike kneeling,in self-effacing moaning

Clean tears fall only in wordsconsolidated under vanity’s shelter

where they loved with barbed wire and mockeryto a great thrill for all our words’ tragic handouts…

Words to the sting, given joy filled lust,to wishing wells’ finalized completions,made to participating, present answersNear The Altar of Fate nailed to remain.

Most alike the believed picture of you is hailedor creeps down to another backlash reaction

and becomes its own conclusions’ executioner;slanderer, and eventually the own wills whoretherein depredated flesh from the thoughts sitas harrowed, in ridiculous unpalatable qualms,hailing spilling, tearing down inherited rights,while monarchy and democracy lie stupidity

upon a conspiring and deranged slaughter tableunder imitation, unwanted shiny residues,

showing the highest heights’ devised murder

Spring water in swamps will swamp water be.

GIVE LIFE!

Being cut new scarsBeing made new deathwords

All new wither anewOverripe means rotten

Sculpted stone is stone!Teach the autumn leaves survival!

Cleanse me from your surfaces.

Cobweb shudderCaptured hung in pieces

Coldembraced, misharvested and patinated

At home in permafrost

Sole host and sole guest

Left burned out

Send my well documented threatening letters to Suffering

No answer

Send a complaint to the Kastalian well

Answers

Waiting

Moving

Our Sun rites belong to all districtsinside of Sunsigned and Treesigned

Remaining here until the Olympian

Give life, loved!Give life in this chilled air

Give life in this sight over the districtGIVE LIFE! GIVE LIFE! GIVE LIFE! GIVE LIFE!

The Observer,cared for autographs of symbolismand honestly missed glad memoriesall while the creeks so deeply dughad not yet reached to the oceans

The Collector,wished for words of diamonds,

an utility game against vermin’s dancingThat the pen, the weak’s defense,

once again would usurp the feel of living

Numbing unwillingness is starved

Nightly cleansing baths

Drinking healing spring water as an obsessed

The Sun glitters over the valley

GLADED

HEAR! Now take the path here — Come and be gladed!

Gladed! —

Taken from worries, remembering glittered creekwater,we’re rushed to, binding herein, lovely daybreak’s new!

Wandered! —Peacefilled with sweet harsh common fern tastetaking steady morning steps on dewloved path!

Entranced!

We wriggle the bolt off into brushwood’s hiding places,finally twig off this drunken suffering carried us forth,for Gladness, when facing life, wish to escape quickly!

Loved —

lifting gently worn out glances to spring-set our fallow,discerning forest still sighing, nourished clean of this light,hastening the trip, fast cloth, wreath us in living grandeur!

Whispered —

at the end of the glade Truth searched; owned its answernext to a dull green, soft and willing, a leaved fair cravingcut with richest imaginable berry-flowers cleanest needs!

We thread gladed forth, running welled up, and come here silently,for soon the flowering is gone and the years have us kissed through!

STEPS BEHIND STEPS

Time stares me with eyes so scarred that the heart flees

The cold is beckoning

Steps behind steps were heard

I flow united with the stream water

where the mists speak to the cypresses

Raise me as drowned Slaughter me as given Grow me as thoughtTaking wordtears in

Taking fragments home

My real rituals’ fairest slices poured chasted inside libations lay fulfilled, given and opened,

to All-reconsolidating and liberating

Steps behind steps were firstly heard where the strikes bends, then breaks, as Times trails are heavily trod upon and all forgiveness demands tributes

A SOLITARY SHADOW WITHOUT A NAME

SEE THERE!

Over the field wander a solitary shadow without a name who silently carries dusk till dawn into his own embrace

See him from this night, while it tenderly calms, holds him He was born of Time between the Sun and Moon’s journey

Let him Victorykiss Lif’s upcoming dawning! Let him own Troth as his voice in this world!

LISTEN!

Wishing to be sea smoke, fleeting and untouchable, into; and with this dawninglight transform herein, steal the hatred from these gashed pathtaken steps and once again be brought the Truths to be lived in

Standing in grey till All is realized to be of Light!

Loving All here until naught is left me missed here!

Letting me Victorykiss Lif’s dawning! Letting me own Troth as my own voice!

Over the field wander a loved man of his name who has carried dawn and dusk to our embrace

THE THIRD WOUND

Early, just before the day notices me, scars me again,comes The First Wound driven up from the earth

and speaks coldly, in a chilled and lightbroken night:

I am the wind-extinguished light,the dearest sorrowfriend you met,all those left traces in the marsh

The Second Wound, cast around self-defence,gorged in a hopelessly coldstricken embrace

that has soon used up all of this vulnerabilityand reached in to Time to be awaken as bent:

Sorrow has played too long on its own boardwith Life set up to become a fickle nothing

(Hidden times were fully rooted in advanceas Fate now hands in herself as fully written.)

Final peels of pity scraped down

A cold grip soon to be turned right

There, over this hushed duska trembling candle flickeringrisen as shimmering: Clarity,Home to the very last wound

TO THE FRAGMENTS OF TRUTH

It bitters

just before the sunrise find its dewand after the dew have been sipped

(Anyway, could never heal the nightswherein the hours stretched into dawn

while flames searched hard for the light)

Life searched (to leave me)

meanwhile Sun silently extinguished the mistsby the still and calm mountain ash over the creek

Life will come (to love me)

in certainty,in the violets waving forestshadows

TO LIFE BEG

Still in longing our embrace stayed, in dead words,pressed against the field moisture to grow as refused

(Taking our love away from the labyrinthine answerson a night blackened heath)

Our tender moments searched in vain after its holdfor hardened by remorse will hope us now own alone

(Soiled and completely slainthis heart in direness is forced to stay)

I have to reflect this with my least loved grin:To Life beg

Meagerness has bared the weakness of words against our eye’s witness,glittered in dust’s helplessness; all these unmoving mirrors: Memories.

I have waited too long, been stuck and emptied,wherein immovable walls have built life’s game,and ordered the nonyears unwise unlust ended:

To be broken and buried

Dwelling here.

Learned about Death:Life infected by its own tearing

Have spoken sweetly and touched near the shimmer,and; dignifiedly hated

Cold,

love our farewell

Warm up the ground.

AS WORN OUT SHADOWPLAY

Listening.Remembering aged forestshine

Rainstrewn patternsWet leaves caressing the ground

Treading northnight.

Walking paths, learning the craft of wordless validity,through the moon’s vividly painted forest-shadows

over this sweet silence and wilted leaf soil

Remaining. Now in a dawn without words.

Standing beside the edge of the woods as a secret,as tired, failed and forgotten glimmered lumberwhere sorrows always are in a temporary frozen

Remaining anyway. Stuck.

I am forlorn-embraced,all too roughly ripped from this tearing uncertainty

unbeknownst my frail wild-strawberry time returnedand placed itself furthest away from un-necessity

Freedom?

Lingered on here under these lovingly sailing cloudswhile these charming wild-strawberry in the greenstood helplessly faired in appeal after forgetfulness

NAUD

Cure: Life and Death.

TIND LIGHT!

Wandered to burial mounds where the Oaths were given Risted The Path wherein was carried the longing of Worlds

FEEL!

Feel the torn initiated here to be forlorn

Hard the frost strikes secrets while a worthy is ripped apart, hardened

Torches flicker, cutting pieces from darkness

Making my leaves, hearing wolves’ songs

Quiet

The water called rain was givenWeak twigs were cracked

Still

Hear the streams carve the mountain while wetted leaves chatter

Night rain falls

Storm comes

The rain cried instead of me and for me

Hidden under the Trees arms beautifying anxiety and withering

with healing, resounding voices

Tind light for your life!

Tind light for our lives!

Tind light!

Tind light!

GLANCES WITHOUT WORDS

The broken white-heart cherry tree, split in the trunk as it was,

beautygrown to be and give; stands remembered

While rivulets trickle down before him

he removes worms from wild raspberries

Daydreaming that He reaches Time, The All Reality’s Naval itself

He, in lee safety under shelter He, which is calmed by the rain

HOPE

LUST

WILL

SUN returned with eyes scarred

He is redeciphered,

violated and tarnished

He is made unseen, outshined by illusion and left leafless

Clawed by your nearness

Clawed by my nearness

Into the fold to be corrected wrong and poorly eat betrayal and wretch

He gives glances without words

Flickered

This borne within, devouring, hate’s real despair,

froststrikes this inconsolable life to all the Worlds in their waiting

You will find only healthy stains

which will appear to be as like unlike to feed more of the actual hindrance which refused this Önd’s greatness

Cease commanding my reality-answers after your will-belief of whim emotions Taking me now from this unbearable,

away from the existence of wassail, but…

YOUR SOUGHT DIMINISHMENT WILL NOT REACH ME!

HERE WILL FORCED UPON NEVER BE MY WILL!

KNOW WHO HAVE STOLEN OUR EYES!

GRABBING THE DEATH BREAD FROM US ALL!

CALLING FORTH THIS RENEWED WARPATH!

GIVING US THE RIGHT LOVE BACK!

TAKING MY BLUE AWAY FROM YOUR EYES

INITIATING.

Here all eyes beginand take us from seeingof sagacious similarities

home to the realities

Strewing you with thistles,for that to be sieved is already dead

Taking my blue away from your eyesA slab of meat left

Taking those mirrors of shallownessStriking the laughter you gave

Duped remained your lifeTaking you

off.

Given you have been by the hours of lightwhich trickled down here through the cloudsas you were destined to among us be found,but step by step your betrayal was nurtured

I spoke straight to the carrdrownedwhere the bitterness of his grave met:

Your blanket was of a cloven glorywhile Oaths gone and freely piggiedand strolled around after suckling

Now denied you cry in your sty

Eyes openingCore falling on stone

Flower nevermore

Now the meat endsRipping Önd from The PathTo die right is the greatest

You have come to The Path’s end.

AN INSWEPT WINDTRACE (MEMORIES)

Living in my words — forthcoming memories.

(Living replanted — sown as a fieldshadow.)

When the misty streaks nightly with me wanderedwhile I, in silent forests to fields slowly searchedwhere torn away embraces had the heart emptied

I am outlawed, in a sneaking wind hidden,concealed by the night leaves’ worn fading

Desolation.

Drinking The Well before the longing grows inevitable

Taking forth my last alone path

Dragging down pitiful, weatherbitten, wet soil,into a dusty shack at the foot of the pineforest ridgewhere sun cuts through the gaps in the wood boards

Unnoticed.

Inswept windtraces steps in with the coldand nothing is left me here to remain — untouchable

TO LIF’S KINGDOM

Riding forward and Sign from the Path to Life

Lif’s Kingdom shall crowned come

Come closer

Touch Life and Death here

We are not mere meat and shadows

We are Önd’s remained from Holy Times From Time in Time guarding and helping

We shall never be seen begging at our own table upon our owned, this too long infested World!

Vermin qualm in stolen wisdoms, making black and white of colours and raising houses with stolen bars

So separate yourself from need like a leaf beckoning its winter!

Let Viet’s suffering be eradicated here!

Let Lif’s coming world reign!

The Ravens cry in the forest

The fog presses itself over the meadow and fades

The Spear is thrown.

Time has come.