Embed Size (px)
Citation preview
1
Plain Talk at Ecology
Acknowledgements: Departments of Labor and Industries, Revenue, and Licensing
2
Goals for Today
Define Plain Talk
Review Executive Order
Provide Plain Talk examples
Introduce Plain Talk Rewrite Process
Practice Plain Talk
Provide Tools
3
Plain Talk…
Is about writing documents our target audience can understand.
Is not about dumbing it down. It is about making our message clear.
Can be applied to any written communication.
Can be read faster, and is preferred by busy professionals.
4
Governor Gregoire’s Plain Talk Executive Order 05-03
“Directs us to provide exceptional customer service by recognizing clear, easy to understand communications are essential to good service.”
“Recognizes that user-friendly documents show our respect for people and their time.”
“Orders that all agencies adopt the principles and practices of Plain Talk currently used in the Departments of Revenue, Labor and Industries and Ecology.”
5
Implementing the Executive Order
All agencies must: Apply Plain Talk to new documents. Identify existing documents that
don’t meet the Plain Talk Principles. Rewrite the identified documents. User-test documents. Report progress and effectiveness. Train staff in Plain Talk Principles.
6
Implementing the Executive Order…Where is Ecology?
Good news: We are ahead of most agencies!
We have a Plain Talk Policy. Here are our next steps:
Identify and prioritize documents: Due August 30.
Decide on your program’s process.First GMAP Report: Due end of October.
7
Implementing the Executive Order...What is your Team’s role?
You will establish and implement a program process to:
Review the prioritized list. Rewrite the identified documents. Review new documents. Track each rewrite. Report progress.
You have the authority to make changes.
8
What is the role of the existing Team?
Bari and Laurie: Coordinate Executive Order implementation. Track agency progress and effectiveness. Conduct usability tests. Consultants for program teams.
Existing Team is available to: Offer an outside perspective. Help with usability tests. Work on documents the programs don’t have
the resources to work on.
9
ON 2-13-03 AT 12:01 AM YOUR DRIVING PRIVILEGE WILL BE SUSPENDED FOR FAILURE TO APPEAR/PAY/COMPLY ON CITATION #409584 RCW 46.20.289. THE SUSPENSION WILL REMAIN IN EFFECT UNTIL NOTIFIED OF REINSTATEMENT BY THIS DEPARTMENT.
TO AVOID SUSPENSION, YOU MUST RESOLVE ALL CHARGES ON THIS CITATION WITH THE COURT INDICATED BELOW AND THE DEPARTMENT MUST RECEIVE PROOF FROM THE COURT BEFORE 02-14-03 THAT THE CHARGE(S) HAVE BEEN RESOLVED. QUESTIONS REGARDING THE CITATION AND/OR FINE SHOULD BE DIRECTED TO THE COURT LISTED BELOW.
Before Plain Talk…
10
On 2-13-03 at 12:01 AM your driving privilege will be suspendedThe Court has notified us that you failed to respond, pay, appear or comply with the terms of the citation listed below.
Citation # Violation Date Reason for citation00000000 10-6-2002 No valid license
What do I have to do to avoid suspension of my driving privileges?
1.) Contact the court below to find out what you must do to take care of this citation.
After Plain Talk…
11
Before Plain Talk…Dear _____________:
Please furnish medical evidence in support of your pension claim. The best evidence to submit would be a report of a recent examination by your personal physician, or a report from a hospital or clinic that has treated you recently. The report should include complete findings and diagnoses of the condition which renders you permanently and totally disabled. It is not necessary for you to receive an examination at this time. We only need a report from a doctor, hospital, or clinic that has treated you recently.
This evidence should be submitted as soon as possible, preferably within 60 days. If we do not receive this information within 60 days from the date of this letter, your claim will be denied. Evidence must be received in the Department of Veterans Affairs within one year from the date of this letter; otherwise, benefits, if entitlement is established, may not be paid prior to the date of its receipt. SHOW VETERAN'S FULL NAME AND VA FILE NUMBER ON ALL EVIDENCE SUBMITTED.
Privacy Act Information: The information requested by this letter is authorized by existing law (38 U.S.C. 210 (c)(1)) and is considered necessary and relevant to determine entitlement to maximum benefits applied for under the law. The information submitted may be disclosed outside the Department of Veterans Affairs only as permitted by law.
____________________ Adjudication Officer
12
After Plain Talk…Dear _______________:
We have your claim for a pension. Our laws require us to ask you for more information. The information you give us will help us decide whether we can pay you a pension.
What We NeedSend us a medical report from a doctor or clinic that you visited in the past six months. The report should show why you can't work. Please take this letter and the enclosed Guide to your doctor.
When We Need It We need the doctor's report by January 28, 1992. We'll have to turn down your claim if we don't get the report by that date.
Your Right to Privacy The information you give us is private. We might have to give out this information in a few special cases. But we will not give it out to the general public without your permission. We've attached a form which explains your privacy rights.
If you have any questions about this letter, you may call us at 1-800-827-1000. The call is free.
Sincerely, ____________________
Work by Reva Daniel with VBA counselors, Jacksonville, Mississippi 1995
13
Plain Talk Principles
Don’t rush…plan your document.
Focus on people.
Presentation is everything.
Talk to your audience.
14
Don’t Rush“Plan Your Document”
Why are you writing the document?
Identify your purpose. Ask yourself…
Are you sharing information?
Are you asking someone to do
something?
What do you want to achieve?
15
Focus on People“Know your audience”
Primary and secondary audience
Audience characteristics
What type of document is best for
your audience?
Do you need to write more than one
document?
16
Focus on People“Use the Active Voice”
Write in the active voice to make it clear:
Who did what.
Do: We reviewed your application. Don’t: The application has been reviewed.
What you expect them to do.
Do: A licensed engineer must complete Form B
and you must send it to Ecology at the
following address:
Don’t: Form B must be completed and submitted to Ecology.
17
Presentation Is Everything
“Paragraphs”
Include only one subject in a paragraph.
Keep paragraphs short.
Aim for 10 lines of text or less.
Avoid repetition.
18
Presentation Is Everything“Sentences”
44
33
17
10
Then the % of people that can understand the document easily is…
If the number of words in a sentence is…
8%
33%
97%
100%
Readability research says:
Goal: Sentences with 17 words or less.
19
Presentation Is Everything“Words”
Get rid of words you don’t need.
Use words the reader knows.
Try to avoid: Jargon, legalisms and acronyms. Words with 3 syllables or more.
Define terms and acronyms.
Be consistent.
20
Acronym QuizAAAccountable Area, Adverse Action, Attainment Area, Atomic AbsorptionLEPCLocal Emergency Planning CommitteeNODNotice of DeficiencyTRIToxic Release InventoryBESTBoard on Environmental Studies and Toxicology
BARFBest Available Retrofit FacilitySAFEStudent Association for Fire Ecology LUSTLeaking Underground Storage TankBDATBest Demonstrated Achievable/Available Technology NWSMNuclear Weapons Stockpile Memorandums RA Remedial Action, Removal Action, Risk Assessment
21
Presentation Is Everything“Headings”
Use headings to:
Provide an outline of the information in the document.
Help the reader find what they are looking for.
Give hints for what can be found in the text that follows.
22
Presentation Is Everything“Organization" Present information in a logical
order. Analyze where to put the most
important information. Some information may be more
appropriate for an attachment or appendix.
23
Presentation is everything!“Document Design”
To display information use:
Bulleted or numbered lists
Tables, Graphics and Diagrams
White space Font
Size Size Size Type Type Type Style Style Style
Re-visit Heading choices
Before Plain Talk…
Written ReportingWithin fifteen (15) days after the time the Permittees become aware of the circumstances of any noncompliance with this Permit, which may endanger human health or the environment, the Permittees shall provide to Ecology a written report. The written report shall contain a description of the noncompliance and its cause (including the information provided in the verbal notification); the period of noncompliance including exact dates and times; the anticipated time noncompliance is expected to continue, if the noncompliance has not been corrected; corrective measures being undertaken to mitigate the situation, and steps taken or planned to reduce, eliminate, and prevent recurrence of the noncompliance.
After Plain Talk…
Written Reporting
Within fifteen (15) days after the time the Permittees become aware of the circumstances of any noncompliance with this Permit, which may endanger human health or the environment, the Permittees shall provide to Ecology a written report.
The written report shall contain:
1. A description of the noncompliance and its cause (including the information provided in the verbal notification).
2. The period of noncompliance including exact dates and times.
3. The anticipated time noncompliance is expected to continue, if the noncompliance has not been corrected.
4. Corrective measures being undertaken to mitigate the situation.
5. Steps taken or planned to reduce, eliminate, and prevent recurrence of the noncompliance.
Dear Smith:
Re: Site # 1234
The Department of Ecology (Ecology) is aware that the permit for the facility referenced above has expired. Ecology would like to work with you regarding compliance with the applicable underground storage tank (UST) regulations.
The Washington Administrative Code (WAC) 173-360-130 states that “…no underground storage tank as defined in this chapter shall be operated without a valid permit from the department or its delegated agency.” Any business operating a regulated UST must display a current permit (i.e. Master Business License) with UST endorsements. Also, WAC 173-360-385 (2) states that “…Any UST system not permanently closed by a compliance date that the UST system is subject to, shall be in compliance with the requirement associated with the compliance date, including the payment of fees.”
While the Department of Licensing (DOL) issues permits, Ecology regulates underground storage tanks and works with businesses to establish compliance with applicable regulations in order to help protect the environment. I have been in contact with DOL to determine the status of your permit and they informed me that you are delinquent in your payment of tank fees. To better understand the reason for this delinquency and get this matter settled, please call me at (360) 407- or DOL at (360) 664-1414.
To avoid a penalty from Ecology for operating without a valid permit, you will need to submit the necessary information/payment to DOL as soon as possible. Once you have received your site’s Master Business License with current endorsements, please fax a copy to me at (360) 407-7154 no later than 23, .
Sincerely,Underground Storage TanksToxics Cleanup Program
Before Plain Talk…
April 4, 2005 Mr. McDonald 1234 Lane Street Olympia, WA 98503 Dear Mr. McDonald: Re: Compliance with the Underground Storage Tank (UST) Regulations
The Department of Ecology (Ecology) regulates underground storage tanks under WAC 173-360. No UST regulated by Ecology shall operate without a valid permit (i.e. Master Business License). We have been notified that the Master Business License (MBL) endorsement for your underground storage tank(s) has expired for this site:
Old McDonalds Farm 1234 Lane Street Site # 2378 Olympia, WA 98503
Operating without proof of insurance or valid UST endorsements may result in a field penalty or enforcement order. We ask you to please take action only on the item(s) checked below.
Submit your UST registration fees to the Department of Licensing within one week of the receipt of this letter.
1. Contact Department of Licensing at (360)664-1414 for total dollar amount due. (Processing and late fees may apply.)
Send to: Dept. of Licensing Post Office Box 9048 Olympia, WA 98507-9048 FAX to: (360) 570-7875
2. After you receive your current Master Business License with UST endorsement, FAX a copy to me at (360) 407-7154.
Submit your proof of pollution liability insurance to the Department of Licensing within one week of the receipt this letter.
Send to: Dept. of Licensing Post Office Box 9048 Olympia, WA 98507-9048 FAX to: (360) 570-7875
Contact the Pollution Liability Insurance Agency at 1-800-822-3905 with general insurance questions.
Additional information is needed for your proof of insurance
<Issue #1>
<Issue #2>
Please call the Department of Licensing at (360) 664-1414 with specific questions regarding the issues listed above.
Send to: Dept. of Licensing Post Office Box 9048 Olympia, WA 98507-9048 FAX to: (360) 570-7875
After Plain Talk…
28
What about Grammar?
Plain Talk is not about Grammar.
BUT
Grammar is important!
Just because it is grammatically correct doesn’t mean it is clear.
29
Your program’s process?
How will you: Review documents? Rewrite documents?
Does it make sense to assign responsibilities to team members?
Does the buck stop with you?
30
What is a group rewrite?
One or more meetings with: Plain Talk Team members The document author Others?
Work together to rewrite the document.
You will need a: Projector Laptop
31
Large Group Rewrite
Work in a large group. Apply the Plain Talk Principles to the
sample paragraph. Model the roles in a group rewrite.
32
Small Group Rewrite
Break into groups.
Apply the Plain Talk Principles to the sample letter.
Share each groups draft rewrite.
33
Usability Testing Purpose:
Identify problem areas in a document. See how people use the document. Receive feedback on the document.
Representative Sample of your audience.
Approaches: In our office In their place of business Online Mail-in survey
34
Your Program’s Process:Let’s debrief.
How will you: Review documents? Rewrite documents?
Does it make sense to assign responsibilities to team members?
Does the buck stop with you?
