1 Gender variables in friendship: Contradiction or not? Unit 8 Section A

1

Gender variables in friendship:

Contradiction or not?

Gender variables in friendship:Contradiction or not?

Unit 8 Section AUnit 8 Section A

1

8UNIT

In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends. — John Churton Collins

A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be. — Douglas Pagels

Section A

1

8UNIT



To learn phrases and patterns from the text

Objectives

To talk about gender differences in friendships

To understand the text’s structure and main idea

To master contrast paragraph writing skill

Friendship across gender and border

Contents

Warming-up

Text study

Language application

Summary

Gender var iables in f r iendship:Contradict ion or not?Section A

Warming-up

Lead-in

Pre-reading activities

Cultural background


1. How do you understand friendship?

Tips

• A friend in need is a friend indeed.

• Dedication, loyalty and security.

• Emotional and rational process.

• More happiness and less sorrow.

Short answer questions

Tips

• Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.• Intimate, caring, understanding;• Sensitive to one’s feelings; • Reluctant to express one’s true feelings;• Be more restrained with emotional expressions.

2. Have you ever noticed any gender differences in your friendship with others?

Short answer questions

Do the following questionnaire on friendship

and then work in groups and discuss how

differently you treat male and female friends.

Questionnaire

1. What kind of friends do you prefer to have?

A. Someone who can share my joy and sadness.B. Someone who can share my secrets.C. Someone who can share my life attitude.D. Someone whom I can turn to whenever I have problems.

Questionnaire

2. Do you have more friends of the same gender than of the opposite gender?

A. Yes, far more.B. Yes, but just a little more.C. No, approximately the same number.D. No, I have more friends of the opposite

gender.

Questionnaire

3. Do you find it easy to share your feelings with friends of the same gender or the opposite gender?

A. With friends of the same gender.B. With friends of the opposite gender.C. There is not much difference between the two.D. It depends.

Questionnaire

4. What would you do if a friend of the opposite gender had a personal problem?

A. I’d rather not interfere with his / her privacy.

B. I’d talk with him / her and share his / her feelings.

C. I’d only offer suggestions and let him / her make his / her own decision.

D. I’d like to help him / her make a decision.

Questionnaire

5. What do you think are the differences between male and female friends?

A. Male friends enjoy doing activities together instead of sharing feelings.B. Female friends are much closer and more emotionally attached.C. There is hardly any difference, as long as it is true friendship.D. It depends on the personality of the friend, not the gender.

Questionnaire

On friendship

Everyone needs friendship. No one can

sail the ocean of life single-handed. We

need help from, and also give help to,

others. In the modern age, people ______

more importance to relations and

connections. A man of charisma has many

friends. His power lies in his ability to give.

Listen to a short passage about friendship and fill in the missing information.

attach

Compound dictation

The term, friend, ______ a wide range

of meanings. It can be a nodding

acquaintance, a comrade, a confidant,

a partner, a playmate, a brother, an

________, etc. As life is full of strife

and ________, we need friends to

support and help us out of difficulties.

covers

Compound dictation

intimate

conflict


Our friends give us _________ against

danger. True friends share not only joy

but, more often than not, they share

______. With friendship, life is happy

and ___________. Without friendship,

life is hostile and unfortunate.

warnings

Compound dictation

sorrow

harmonious


I have friends in the rank and file.

Some are rich and in power. Some are

low and ________. Some are like

myself, working as a teacher, reading

and writing and content with the

simple life we have. To many of my

friends, I know what to ________,

what to tolerate and what to share.

common

Compound dictation

treasure


I will never forget my old friends and

keep making new friends. I will not be

cold and ___________ to the poor

friends and will show concern for

them, even if it is only a comforting

word.

indifferent

Compound dictation


Questions previewing

1. How do you understand the sentence “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus”?

2. Do you know John Gray and his book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus ？

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

Tips

Tips

Tips

1. How do you understand the sentence “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus”?

• Gender difference; • Respect and appreciate the

differences;• Practical communication techniques.


Tips

2. Do you know John Gray and his book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus?

• American relationship counselor, lecturer and

author;• One of the best-selling self-help books of all

time;• A practical guide to solve problems in

relationships based on the different tendencies

in each gender.


Main idea & structure

Language focus

Critical thinking

Text study


The “______” memories the author has of

female friends are _____ and _________. In

comparison, memories of male friends are

an _______ or _________ movie. (Para. 1)

movie

open intimate

Main ideas of the parts

action adventure

Part I (Para. 1)

words

actions

The author introduces the topic by contrasting his memories of female and male friends in cinematic terms. He noticed that in general his female friends love to share feelings through _____, whereas his male friends tend to express their feelings through ________.


When the author did leave for America, he

and his friend Donald ____________ at the

train station ready to _____________. They

didn’t know what to say; they couldn’t _____

each other this time. They just ___________

as the train __________. (Para. 3)

stood rigid

say farewell

save

cried silently

pulled away


Tips


• Far from shore;• Detect a shark;• Splash toward the shore;• Fall back to protect her;• Spontaneously say “I love you!”

What happened when the author and his friend Jessica were swimming at a beach in the Atlantic? (Para. 4)

Part II (Paras. 2-4)

Using two examples, the author vividly

illustrates how differently he communicates

with his male friend and his female friend.


With women, I could be _____,

__________________and ___________.

With male friends, it seemed impossible to

express ______________ no matter how

_____ the friendship was. (Para. 5)

open

emotionally honest transparent

caring feelings

deep


Tips

What does research show that gives the author great relief? (Para. 6)


• Different emotional and rational processes;

• Different genetic tendencies;• Tend to be more strained with;• Means of expression differ.

Part III (Paras. 5-6)

According to experts, men and women have different emotional and rational processes because of the genetic tendencies they are born with. This explains the gender differences in our communication styles.


Using his personal experiences, the author

vividly illustrates how his communication

styles are different with his male friends and

female friends.

Main idea of the text

The reason for this, according to experts, is

that men and women have different

emotional and rational processes: Men tend

to be reserved while women tend to be more

open. So it is perfectly normal for one to treat

his / her male friends and female friends in

entirely different ways.

Main idea of the text

My female friends are open and close. We are attracted to each other and like to share our feelings. (Para. 1)

My male friends and I do adventurous things together instead of chatting and sharing feelings with each other. (Para. 1)

Introduction: The “movie” memories I have of my female friends and male friends are completely

different.

Structure of the text

Donald and I never expressed our deep feelings for each other, not even on the day I had to leave for America. (Paras. 2-3)

Jessica spontaneously said “I love you” and I said it back to her after I saved her from an illusionary shark attack. (Para. 4)

Introduction

Examples


My communication styles are gender-based and I was determined to find out the reason. (Para. 5)

Explanation: Men and women have different emotional and rational processes: Men tend to be reserved while women tend to be more open. (Para. 6)

Conclusion: gender differences in my communication styles and the explanation


Introduction

Examples

Introduction

Examples

Conclusion


Gender variables in friendship: Contradiction or not? The “______” memories I have of female friends are open and intimate. In comparison, memories of male friends are in an entirely different film altogether.

movie

Summary of the text

My earliest childhood friend, Donald and I used to “fly” to America in an old abandoned German truck. We pretended there was an engine failure and “______” each other from certain death hundreds of times. But not one word of our evident feelings for each other was ever ______. It was all done in ______.

saved

utteredactions

Summary of the text

A recent occurrence made me reexamine and _________ my behavior in a new light. One of my best friends, Jessica, and I were swimming at a beach in the Atlantic when we both thought we ________ a shark! In my panic, I _________ to save her. After we got back on the beach, she ______________ said, “I love you!” and I replied, “Love you too!”

interpret

detectedfell back

Summary of the text

spontaneously

The great difference in my _____________ styles can be justified according to a research: It seems that men and women have very different _________ and rational processes. We are born with very different ________ tendencies which society encourages as either “masculine” or “feminine”. So it is perfectly normal for one to treat his / her male friends and female friends in entirely different ways.

communication

emotional

genetic

Summary of the text

Practical phrases

Practical phrases Specific meanings

1. be sensitive to 对……敏感2. make up for 补偿；弥补 3. pull away 驶离；开走4. in a ... light 以……角度5. prove to be 被证明是6. be determined to do 下定决心做7. be born with 天生就有

对 ······ 敏感

(fail to do / be sensitive to / information technology)

In this highly globalized world, failure to be

sensitive to new information technology will

lead to loss of golden opportunity for a nation’s

development.

be sensitive to短语逆译

短语应用在当今高度全球化的世界中，对新兴信息技术不敏感将会导致一个国家错失发展良机。意群提示

Practical phrases

补偿；弥补

(universal truth / make up for)

It’s a universal truth that diligence can make up for one’s intelligence.

make up for短语逆译

短语应用勤能补拙是普遍真理。

意群提示

Practical phrases

驶离；开走

(see sb. off / wave sb. goodbye / pull away)

A typical scene of seeing people off is like this: people are waving each other goodbye with tears in their eyes while the train slowly pulls away.

pull away短语逆译

短语应用送别的一个典型场景是：随着火车缓缓开动，人们眼中含着热泪相互挥手告别。意群提示

Practical phrases

以 ······ 角度

(be creative / in a different light)

To be creative, we should learn to see things in a different light.

in a ... light短语逆译

短语应用要想具有创造力，我们应当学会从不同的角度看待事物。

意群提示

Practical phrases

被证明是

(double-edged sword)

Anger is one of those things that truly prove to be a double-edged sword.

prove to be短语逆译

短语应用愤怒属于真正被证明为双刃剑的事物之一。

意群提示

Practical phrases

下定决心做

(achieve / a determined heart)

There is nothing that cannot be achieved with

a determined heart.

be determined to do短语逆译

短语应用有志者事竟成。

意群提示

Practical phrases

天生就有

(make the most of / be born with)

Successful people are those who manage to

make the most of the qualities they are born

with.

短语逆译

短语应用成功人士能够将自己与生俱有的品质发挥到极致。意群提示

be born with

Practical phrases

Functional patterns

Functional patterns Functions & usages1. Statement of one thing. In comparison, sth. else is (in an) entirely different (film altogether).

用于比较“两个完全不同的事物”。

2. A recent occurrence / accident, etc. made one rexamine / rethink / reflect on sth. in a new light.

用于表达“对事物的新的审视、思索和认识”。

3. With sb., one be / do … With sb. else, it seemes impossible to be / do … (one be / do …).

用于表达“某人对待不同人或事物的截然不同的态度或做法”。

我对女性朋友的“电影式”记忆是开放的、亲密无间的。相比较而言，我对男性朋友的记忆是完全不同的一部影片。

原句译文

逆译练习The movie memories I have of female friends are open and intimate. In comparison, memories of male friends are in an entirely different film altogether.

句型提炼

Functional patterns

Statement of one thing. In comparison, sth. else is (in an) entirely different (film altogether)

句型提炼

应用提示

用于比较“两个完全不同的事物”。

句型应用

Functional patterns

(complain about / in comparison / positive energy)

典型例句一些人总是抱怨生活艰辛、工作压力大。与之相比，有些人却完全不同。他们充满了正能量，总是乐观对待人生。

意群提示

Some people are always complaining about the hardships of life and the pressure from work. In comparison, there are others who are entirely different. They are full of positive energy and are always optimistic about life.

Functional patterns

最近发生的一件事让我从新的角度重新审视和解释我的行为。

原句译文

逆译练习A recent occurrence made me reexamine and interpret my behavior in a new light.

句型提炼

Functional patterns

A recent occurrence / accident, etc. made one reexamine / rethink / reflect on sth. in a new light.

句型提炼

应用提示用于表达“对事物的新的审视、思索和认识”。

句型应用

Functional patterns

(Prism Gate scandal (Edward Snowden ) / debate and reflect on / national security / personal privacy)

典型例句最近被爱德华 · 斯诺登揭露的棱镜门事件使全世界人民对国家安全与个人隐私保护问题进行了辩论以及反思。意群提示

The recent Prism Gate scandal disclosed by Edward Snowden has made people all over the world debate and reflect on the issue of national security versus protection of personal privacy.

Functional patterns

和女性朋友在一起，我可以是开放的、真情流露的、直截了当的。但和男性朋友在一起时，不管我们之间的友情多深，我似乎都无法表达对对方的关爱之情。

原句译文

逆译练习With women, I could be open, emotionally honest, and transparent. With male friends, it seemed impossible to express caring feelings no matter how deep the friendship was.

句型提炼

Functional patterns

With sb., one be / do …. With sb. else, it seemed impossible to be / do … (one be / do …).

句型提炼

应用提示用于表达“某人对待不同人或事物的截然不同的态度或做法”。

句型应用

Functional patterns

(gentle as the warm spring / cruel as the freezing

winter)

典型例句对待同志要像春天般的温暖。对待敌人要像严冬一样残酷无情。意群提示

With comrades, we should be gentle as the warm spring. With enemies, we should be cruel as the freezing winter.

Functional patterns

Language appreciation

海水不仅导电性能很强，传递恐慌也很快。

a. Water is not only a good

conductor of electricity but

of panic as well. (P

ara. 4, L

5)

最后，所谓的“鲨鱼”

证明并不存在。但我对我朋友的深情厚谊却是

真真切切的。 b. In the end, the “shark”

proved to be imaginary.

But not my deep

emotional feelings for my

friend. (Para. 4, L 8-9)


男人来自火星，女人来自水星。

c. Men Are from Mars, women

Are from Venus. (Para. 6, L 5)


1 How do you choose a friend? What qualities should your friends have?

2 Can the older generation be true friends with the younger generation? Why?

3 What do you think cause the differences in behavior and communication styles between men and women?

Theme exploration

Tips

Tips

Tips

I usually don’t pick a friend. They come to me. In

the beginning, they may just be my schoolmates or

colleagues. However, once we discover that we

share some values or beliefs, we become friends. I

value merits such as honesty, truthfulness,

generosity, humor, faithfulness, and most important

of all, willingness to help others. And I expect my

friends to have some of these virtues, if not all.

1. How do you choose a friend? What qualities should your friends have?

Tips

Theme exploration

\\

2. Can the older generation be true friends with the younger generation? Why?

Tips

Version 1: It is hard for people of different generations to become true friends. While they may share some hobbies or interests, they often don’t have much for conversation due to different backgrounds and life experience.

Theme exploration

Tips

The other problem is that they don’t have the same circle of friends or peers. Most important of all, they may not share the same values and their life outlooks may be different. Therefore, true friends are rare between generations with big age gap.

Theme exploration


Tips

Version 2: Yes, there can be true friends as long as the older generation and the younger generation try their best to understand each other. For example, I am in my 20s but have made some good friends with people in their 50s or 60s. These older friends try their best to put themselves in the shoes of the younger people, and they are more tolerant and considerate.

Theme exploration



Tips

For me, I respect them as they have much more experience and advice to offer. I’m also happy to provide my senior friends with novel ideas. They appreciate that. That’s how our friendship strengthens.

Theme exploration

Men and women differ a lot in their behavior and communication styles. While their physical and mental differences play a basic role, there are other factors which can cause such differences.

3. What do you think cause the differences in behavior and communication styles between men and women?

Tips

Theme exploration

The following are some examples:• They have different expectations from society;• They have different social images and roles;• They share different values of life;• They have different emotional and rational processes.

Tips

Theme exploration

3. What do you think cause the differences in behavior and communication styles between men and women?

Tips

Have you ever noticed any cultural differences in friendships of the Chinese and of the Westerners?

The Chinese expect friendships to be more lasting. (Chinese are friends even if they haven’t spoken for 20 years. If you shared something at one time, then all your life you are friends.

Culture exploration

Tips

In North America, even the relationship in which people feel close and tell each other personal problems may not survive life changes such as moving to another city, graduation from a university or marriage. If the people do not see each other regularly the relationship is likely to die.)

Culture exploration


Tips

The Westerners expect friends to be independent. (The friendship of the westerners is mostly a matter of providing emotional support and spending times together, so they don’t feel comfortable in a relationship in which one person is giving more and the other is dependent on what is giving.

Culture exploration


Tips

Chinese give each other more concrete help. A Chinese will use personal connections to help a friend get something hard to obtain. They give each other money and might help each other out financially over a long time.)

Culture exploration


What is a forever friend like according to the poem?

Listening & discussing

Listen to a poem on friendship and discuss the following question.

Tips


A friend walks in when the rest of the world walks out. A forever friend is someone who changes your life just by being part of it; someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop; someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world;


Tips

Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it; someone who lifts you up in spirits and makes the dark and empty world suddenly seem bright and full; someone who gets you through the hard times, the sad times, and the confused times.



Language application

Writing devices

Essay writing

Paragraph translation


Inverted structure

In order to lay emphasis on something, people often use an inverted structure. One of the typical inverted structures begins with a negative expression such as no, not, seldom, hardly, never, nowhere, nothing, not until, rarely, only, at no time, in no way, not only, etc.

Sentence writing

Example

I could easily utter “I love you” to my mother, my sisters and girlfriends; yet, not once in my life had I been able to look a male friend in the eye and say the same thing.

Sentence writing

Appreciation

Never, never and never again shall it

be that this beautiful land will again

experience the oppression of one by

another and suffer the indignity of

being the skunk of the world.

(from “Nelson Mandela’s Inaugural

Address”)

Sentence writing

这片美丽的土地将永远、永远、永远不会再经历人对人的压迫，以及遭全球唾弃的屈辱。

Not only was Einstein a world famous scientist, but

also a good violinist.

Practice

1. 爱因斯坦不仅是世界著名的科学家，也是一名优秀的小提琴家。

2.吃得苦中苦，方为人上人。

Version one:Hardly can one become the best of the best without suffering the bitterest of the bitterest.Version two:No cross, no crown.

Sentence writing

Topic of contrast

Paragraph writing

Topic sentence

Details of contrast

Example: Gender differences in friendship (Topic)

When I think of my good friends, I see them in cinematic terms. The camerawork is entirely different for men and women. (Topic sentence)

Paragraph writing

Example:

The “movie” memories I have of female friends are open and intimate. We are talking, interested in each other in a magnetic sort of way. They look straight into my eyes, sensitive to my feelings, listening to me with deliberate attention. (Detail 1: memories of female friends)

Paragraph writing

Example:

In comparison, memories of male friends are in an entirely different film altogether. An action or adventure movie! Not much in the way of dialog. The ritual of motion, or the sequence of action, makes up for the deficiency of dialog and honest narrative. (Detail 2: memories of male friends)

Paragraph writing

Writing practice

Directions: Take a look at the

outline below and the sample

paragraph of contrast.

Paragraph writing

Topic:

A compact car or a big car

Paragraph writing

Topic sentence:

Many families have to choose between a compact car and a big car, both of which have advantages and disadvantages.

Details of contrast:

A compact car:• Using less gas• Easy to park in cities• Limited inside space, not comfortable for long trips


A big car:• Using more gas• Difficult to handle in cities• More inside space and ideal for long trips

Paragraph writing

Example: Big car or compact car (Topic)

When buying a new car, many families have to choose between a compact car and a big car, both of which have advantages and disadvantages. (Topic sentence)

Paragraph writing

Example:

A compact car, thanks to its small size, uses less gas and is easier to park in cities. However, the space inside is very limited, and it is not comfortable for long trips. (Detail 1: advantages and disadvantages of a compact car)

Paragraph writing

Example:

In contrast, a big car, such as an SUVor a minivan, uses more gas, and is more difficult to handle in cities due to its large size. But it has more inside space and is thus perfect for a large family and ideal for long trips. (Detail 2: advantages and disadvantages of a big car)

Paragraph writing

Directions: Write a paragraph on

one of the following topics. One of

the topics has an outline you can

follow.

Paragraph writing

Writing practice

Topic:

Differences between college life and high school life

Paragraph writing

Topic sentence:

College life and high school life differ in many ways.


High school life:• Fundamental courses• Fixed schedule• Learning through teachers’ instructions


College life:• More specialized courses• Flexible schedule• Leaning on one’s own, and developing critical thinking

Paragraph writing

Sample:Differences between college life and high school life (Topic)

College life and high school life differ in many ways. (Topic sentence) High school offers fundamental courses such as math, physics and English, whereas college offers more specialized courses, most of which are related to students’ majors. (Detail of contrast 1)

Paragraph writing

Sample:

In high school, all classes are arranged by the school, so students just follow a fixed schedule; in contrast, college students can choose thecourses in which they are interested and arrange their own schedule, so their schedule is more flexible. (Detail of contrast 2)

Paragraph writing

Moreover, high school students acquire knowledge and skills mainly through teacher’s instructions. In contrast, besides attending lectures, college students are expected to learn on their own, and develop critical thinking. (Detail of contrast 3)

Paragraph writing

More topics:

• Living on campus versus living at home

• Traditional shopping versus online shopping

Paragraph writing

Write an essay on the topic “traditional shopping versus online shopping” by following the writing pattern of the text.

Essay writing

You can follow the outline given below.

1. The popularity of online shopping; 2. Some people still prefer traditional shopping;

3. Your opinion (eg. When choosing between traditional shopping and online shopping, one should take into full consideration of the advantages and disadvantages of both methods).

Essay writing

Part I General introduction of the topic

Part II Make contrast by using concrete examples

1. The advantages and disadvantages of traditional

shopping;

2. The advantages and disadvantages of online

shopping;

Essay writing


Part III Conclusion

1. Whether to choose traditional shopping or online shopping is a matter of personal choice;2. Restate your opinion.

Essay writing


You may adopt the following expressions.

in … terms;

be sensitive to;

in comparison;

make up for;

in a new / bad / different, etc. light;

prove to be;

Essay writing

be determined to do;

to sb.’s relief / sorrow / horror / regret / delight / surprise / astonishment, etc.;

research shows that …;

be born with sth.;

be restrained with …

Essay writing

You may adopt the following expressions.


Translate a paragraph

based on a summary

of the text by using

the expressions from

the text.

我关于女性朋友和男性朋友的记忆完全不同。面对女性朋友，我可以是开放的、真情流露的、直截了当的。但面对男性朋友时，不管友情多深，似乎都不可能把关爱对方的情感表达出来。我这种交流方式的巨大差异可以被一项研究所解释：男性和女性似乎

entirely different

be justified (by)

emotionally honest

no matter how deep

caring feelings


有着截然不同的情感和理性处理方式。我们生来就有着极其不同的遗传倾向，这种倾向被社会强化为“男子气”或“女性化”。所以一个人以完全不同的方式对待他 /她的男性和女性朋友是很正常的。

emotional and rational processes

genetic tendencies

masculine

feminine

perfectly normal


The memories I have of female friends and of male friends are entirely different. With women, I could be open, emotionally honest, and transparent. With male friends, it seemed impossible to express caring feelings no matter how deep the friendship was. The great difference in my communication styles can be justified according to a research:


It seems that men and women have very different emotional and rational processes. We are born with very different genetic tendencies which society encourages as either “masculine” or “feminine”. So it is perfectly normal for one to treat his / her male friends and female friends in entirely different ways.


Thematic study

Summary

Revision of the useful

expressions

Revision of the functional

patterns


1. 对……敏感 2. 比较而言 3. 补偿；弥补 4. 追溯到…… 5. 从……中涌出 6. 再会；永别

7. 驶离；开走

8. 以全新的角度 9. 真情流露 10. 下定决心做

be sensitive to

in comparison

make up for

retreat back to ...

spill out of

say farewell

pull away

in a new light

be emotionally honest

be determined to do

Revision of the useful expressions Language points — Useful expressions

11. 使某人宽慰的是

12. 与生俱有的

13. 遗传倾向

14. 在……方面克制

to one’s relief

be born with

genetic tendencies

be restrained with ...

Revision of the useful expressions Language points — Useful expressions

Functions & Usages Sentence Patterns

1. 用于比较“两个完全不同的事物”。

2. 用于表达“对事物的新的审视、思索和认识”。

3. 用于表达“某人对待不同人或事物的截然不同的态度或做法”。

Statement of one thing. In comparison, sth. else is (in an)entirely different (film altogether).

A recent occurrence / accident, etc. made one reexamine / rethink / reflect on sth. in a new light.

With sb., one be / do … With sb. else, it seemed impossible to be / do … (one be / do …).

Revision of the functional patterns Language points — Useful patterns

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Documents

1 Gender variables in friendship: Contradiction or not? Unit 8 Section A