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1Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013
2Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013
Roles of Mental Health Professionals in
Visitation/CustodyCustody Evaluation
Independent Medical Examination
Psychological Evaluation
Expert Witness
3Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013
Roles of Mental Health Professionals (cont.)
Consultant to Legal Team
Parent Coordination
Reconciliation Therapist
Family Therapist
Individual Therapist
4Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013
“My mom has a new boyfriend, my dad has a new girlfriend, and all I got was a new therapist.”
5Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013
Custodial Decisions
Legal Custody
Physical Custody
6Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013
“I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they’re free-
range.”7
Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013
The New Norm: Co-Parenting after the
Contentious Divorce
80-85% of divorces are not contentious
Cost of contentious divorce can easily exceed $100,000 each
8Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013
“I’m glad you got divorced…it eliminates the middleman.”
9Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013
Impact Separation/Divorce on Children
Short-term
Long-term
10Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013
“I’m staying together for the sake of my parents.”11
Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013
Critical Factors that Determine Outcome for
Children
Relationship with both parents
Conflict reduction post-separation
Parents still act like parents
12Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013
What Parents Typically Fight About
13Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013
Divorce is Ultimately about Control of Assets
Money
Children
Money and Children
14Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013
Specific Issues around Raising the Kid You Love
with the Ex You Hate
15Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013
How to tell your Child that you are Separating
The first act of co-parenting
Honesty and breaking of trust
When and how to tell
How much of the agreement to share
Your child’s self blame
16Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013
Clear Rules about Funding and Co-Parenting
Separate the “business” of parenting from the business of “parenting”
17Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013
Handling the Holidays and Soccer Games
What the agreement won’t say about extra-curriculars
What should happen on holidays
Managing the field
18Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013
School IssuesMaintain stability
Ideal if both parents are in the same school district
Home school, private school, same school, new school
19Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013
Introducing New People into the Child’s Life
The second divorce
When should they meet
How to introduce
20Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013
“Dad, if mom ever has a boyfriend, I hope he’s just like you.”21
Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013
Technology Can Help – Or it Can Hurt
Phone calls
Skype
Facetime
Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 201322
Hell No – I Won’t Go: The Child Refuses Visitation
She’s Moving Out and In With Him
Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 201323
In the End
Good parenting even when parents disagree
24Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013
