Welcome to this issue of the April Newsletter.

Our U3A is changing due to the five years being over for some of the committee. At our AGM we showed our appreciation to all those who have helped over the last years.The new members of the committee and their roles are:

Sue Greenall ChairVal Redmond SecretarySusan Layland TreasurerDorothy Dawson Assistant TreasurerWalter Blow Membership SecretaryChris Parker Speakers’ SecretarySylvia Bone Convenors’ SecretaryKevin Sharples IT, Audio and Web ManagerSonia WorrellCarol Dutton

We are so grateful to all these people for being prepared to work for our U3A.

We are also a Charity in our own right. The U3A is a charity but it was recommended that those U3As who had an income of £5000 or above needed to become a charity. This amount or more goes into our bank account throughout the year and is counted as income (even though it more or less goes straight out of our account to cover visits, speakers and head office support). To gain Charity status was a lot of hard-work but we now have all the correct paperwork which should give us added security.

The NewsletterMy new email address for the newsletter is: U3Anewslettergains@gmail.com Items for the next newsletter, should be sent to me by September 12th, the earlier the better.The Website

Don’t forget that photos and comments about your group’s outings are really good to make our website interesting. We do attract new members through it and it is also a really good place to find out what your group is doing. Someone in each group needs to be responsible for keeping their sub-page up-to-date. Please ask if you need help on how this can be done.

Future U3A Speakers and their Topics2019

April 11th Philip Caine Barrow to Baghdad and Back. May 9th Mike Pickwell Orchid Hunting in FranceJune 13th Steve Lovell Beyond the Golden Triangle. Tigers,Temples, Turbans

and The TajJuly 11th Steve Short Morecambe and Wise.August 8th David Tattersall Mission Aviation Fellowship,Flying for Life.September 12th Mark Walsh There’s a Funny Thing (life in Music Halls).October 10th David Templeman Sheffield Castle and Sheffield Manor LodgeNovember 14th Special Edition

ChocolateSpecial Edition Chocolate

December 12th John Nowell A Day above the Canary Islands.2020

January 9th Adrian Gray Mystery and Mayhem in Darkest Lincolnshire.February 13th Peta Steadman Bee Road Smart. Institute of Advanced MotoristsMarch 12th AGM

Brain teasers1. Which is Shakespeare’s shortest play?2. In which game must the skittles not be knocked down?3. Which war hero gave his name to a type of footwear?4. At 12noon on Christmas day in London, what time is it in

Paris?5. Which member of the camel family has no hump?

Answers on page 22

Group List

Please contact convenors when you have booked to go on a trip and can no longer do so. This prevents losing time on a “no-show”.

Your GroupsArt

GROUP CONVENOR MEETING TIMEArt Jayne Fisher Alternate Tuesday amArt Appreciation Susan Layland Third Thursday pmBridge Chris Wrench Every Wednesday amBuccaneers Pam Chapman 1st Tuesday middayCanasta Convener needed Group frozen at presentChurch visits Margaret Forster As arranged

Croquet Convenor needed Approx. 2nd & last Wed pm May-Oct

Cycling Hilary Harris Wednesday morningsDiscussion Margaret Forster Fourth Friday pmGardening Mary Flynn First Friday am

Kurling Anthony Chapman Mondays amLocal history Hilary Foottit 3rd Wednesday amLunch (Thursday) Joan Spencer First ThursdayMusic appreciation Mary Flynn Fourth Thursday pm

Photography Anthony Chapman First Monday pm

Poetry/play-reading Margaret Forster Third Tuesday pmReading group 1 Brenda Mottram Second Tuesday pmReading group 2 Judith Blow Fourth Thursday am

Reading group 3 Pam Chapman Third Friday amScrabble Mary Flynn Third Tuesday amStrollers Lyn & Graham

VlachoThird Friday am

Sunday lunch Gwyneth Finley Alternate Sundays2nd Sunday Lunch Anthony Chapman Last Sunday in monthTheatre group Margaret Forster As arrangedVisits Carol Dutton As arrangedWalking Joan Spencer Tuesday, every 4 weeksYoga Susan Greenall

We still meet every other Tuesday at Beckingham Village Hall, and welcome anyone who is interested in drawing/painting to join us. We are a sociable group, with differing levels of expertise: offering help, advice and suggestions when asked.

We all use different media - oils, acrylics, watercolours, pastels and pencils - so please if you would like to join us (even if you have never tried before but would like to try), do come - we have some beginners, and some who have been artists for a long time (and everything in between). We would like to increase our group size. Either just come along to a meeting (10 - 12 noon) or contact Jayne on 07484610269, or Dave on 01427 718854. Jayne

Art AppreciationAutumn began with a talk on Art and Artists in Yorkshire by Joy Woods, beautifully illustrated with examples of the work of the artists covered. In October the topic chosen by Sandra Indge was Chardin, again with examples of his work.  In November we had our annual visit to the open art exhibition in Doncaster and December was our Christmas Luncheon.  This however was a strange if entertaining event as some of the diners had odd combinations of dishes ie fish with gravy!

2019 got off to a good start with a talk from Pam Floyd on the exhibits and architecture of the new V&A museum in Dundee.Our February meeting will be given by Marie Williams discussing the work of Gordon Benningfield so we are all looking forward to an interesting new year. SusanBridge When you have two finesse positions you must start by finessing the lower of the possible cards you can. When you pick up a

very distributional hand, it is often tempting to keep bidding. However, sometimes it is better to keep quiet, as your bidding may give the declarer the clues s/he needs to make their contract. Is a raise from 3NT to 4NT always a natural? Do you know what this means, no, well neither do I and I have been playing a number of years. It just shows you do not need to be a bridge expert to come along to our club on Wednesday mornings, nor do you need a partner as we always manage to play even with odd numbers of people. If you are a basic bridge player or just a bit rusty then come along and get back into the swing.  We have regular players and people who dip in and out, we don’t mind as long as everyone enjoys themselves. Chris

Buccaneers The Buccaneers have been fairly busy despite having a “Christmas Holiday.”In October 9 of us went to see “The three Musketeers” ballet in Nottingham. This is the second time our group has been to see The Northern Ballet. We had a really good afternoon because of the camaraderie of the group, the brilliant seats (3 rows from the front in the stalls) and the actual ballet. It really was impressive as there were sword fights with lots of action, stunning costumes and so much humour portrayed in the performance. We have now planned to go and see the ballet “Victoria”, in Sheffield. We went 10 pin bowling in Ashby and had a great deal of fun and, for some, a certain amount of frustration as what initially appeared to be a wonderfully straight bowl veered away from the pins at the last moment. Those of us who were winners last time kindly let the losers amongst us get to the top of the board.

Courtesy of Yeoville yoghurt, we have just had a “2 for 1 Afternoon Tea” at The Mount Pleasant Hotel. You wouldn’t believe the amount of yoghurt

we had to eat to get sufficient tokens for us all to go!! However it was well worth it.Bowling, Horse riding, pottery painting, a visit to the Wildlife Park and canoeing are all being considered for the next few months. PamChurch VisitsOur next visit will be in March, usually the third Thursday, with two visits in the morning. The first starting at 10.30am with a pub lunch at 1pm and the next visit at 2pm in the afternoon.We ask the Church warden if they want to tell us about the church, some do, some don't. I do my homework and am able to explain some things.  It is all very informal and enjoyable.  We do get offered coffee etc sometimes: at one church, tea and cakes, homemade!In March, I planned Broughton Church, near Scunthorpe (Anglo Saxon with a round tower) and Scawby (a Victorian Church)which has a nice pub and is near to Kirton Garden Centre and the Windmill. We finished at Messingham on way back to Gainsborough.All are always welcome to join us so you can see if it is for you. Margaret

CroquetWe enjoyed our croquet again this year, but with holidays and one thing and another, didn’t play as much as we would have liked. Numbers for this group are getting very low. If anyone would like to join us, they would be greeted with open arms when we start again in May. Tuition is given so beginners are welcome though we must admit after the 6 month break, we all feel like beginners again when we re-start!

Pam

Garden GroupI am afraid that there is not a lot to report regarding activities for the winter period. But we did make up for the lack of outings by having two meals. The first in December at The Hume at Torksey was well attended. The second was our

annual “planning” meeting in February at The Ingram Arms, again well attended. I was holding my breath the day before as this was during the few days when we did have some snow.

The visit last September to Barnsdale was mentioned in the previous newsletter, this was organised by Carol as an outing for everybody. Many thanks Carol. Please note Carol is arranging another outing for us in June to Breezy KneesLast October we paid a return visit to

Broadlea at East Drayton, we had previously visited in the Spring when it was water logged.November saw us in Lea Village Hall for a talk by Gail and John Summerfield, this had been postponed from last March when we had “The Beast from the East” March will see us back in Lea Village Hall with a talk by Pam Tatum.The programme for 2019 is almost complete and on the website.We will be having a plant Swop in Lea Village Hall in May. Please note for those who have nothing to swop there is a chance to buy plants at a nominal amount.

Mary

KurlingOn the right, the group at rest.

The Kurling group continues to be a very successful group and we regularly have 16 or more members playing every Monday morning. You do not require any real skill play to play at our level but we can guarantee that you will have some fun.

Some of us who have been playing since day one still have bad days (quite often in fact) so don’t be afraid to come and join us.

We meet every Monday at Morton village hall at 10a.m. and play until 12 noon. Just come along and have a go, you won’t regret it. You could even say it’s a bit of exercise. Judith

Local HistoryThis group, led by Hilary, is still active with good outside visits frequently being organised.

Lunch (Thursday)We are a sociable group of about 14 people who enjoy eating out and a friendly chat whilst visiting pubs in the area. In March we are eating at the Eyre Arms at Rampton, a nice pub over the ‘border’ in Nottinghamshire. If you would like to join our group, but don’t have transport, contact me and I may be able to arrange for someone to pick you up.

Joan

Music AppreciationDue to the Xmas break we have had a long gap between meetings.In October Joan gave a presentation of “Pictures at an Exhibition” which we all enjoyed. At most of our other meetings we have “brought our own” which gives a very interesting mix of music.It is always a very enjoyable afternoon. MaryPhotographyWe have stalled a little over the last few months as one of our number has been unwell and we have had to move venue with a rather diminished quality of viewing our efforts – Oh, that we were all computer literate! However we have kept going and with our regular host available again, we hope to stride into the new year with renewed enthusiasm.

Our present topic is “Winter”, but what on earth has happened to that? Anthony

Poetry and Play Reading GroupWe do need  new members if we are to continue. We meet on the third Tuesday at 2.30 p.m., usually in Lea.  We have tried to have a Poetry Day for the first meeting of the year. This is for us to read our favourite poem/poems. It is also a time to talk about what we will be doing.  For the next two meetings it is play reading: something light, perhaps a comedy etc.  We do not do Shakespeare! It takes two meetings to get through a play.  Depending on our numbers we plan how to do the reading.  No-one is an actor; if you can act, that is great, but we just enjoy ourselves, and have a giggle when we are amused.  Do join us and see if it is for you!Car share can be arranged. Margaret

Reading Group 1 As usual we have had a varied selection of books. Our latest, which we haven’t discussed yet was by Sebastian Barry “Days Without End”. It was one of those books which on first glance suggested it would not be very popular but I liked it. Reading it was like watching an old Cavalry versus Indians film. It covered a range of subjects very topical today: a transgender, who was one of a gay couple fostering a young Indian (native American); the privations of the

American Civil War, including describing Andersonville one of the world’s worst prisoner of war camps. I hope the coming months bring us some good reads. Brenda.

Reading Group 2 After a month off for Christmas quite clearly we had pretty much forgotten our last book -

The Silent Tide by Rachel Hore. It was a jolly good read and although somewhat forgotten, we all said that we had thoroughly enjoyed the book. Consequently we have committed ourselves to spend much longer in discussing our next book - The Hoarder by Jess Kidd. We even plan to use the reader’s notes for our next meeting!On 28th February we had our annual celebratory meal at the Cross Keys at Stow along with some of the other reading groups and poetry reading group. By the time you are reading this the meal will have been consumed and hopefully a good time will have been had by all. Judith

Reading Group 3This session we have been a little disappointed with some of the books we have read. Two written by comediennes which were

supposed to be highly amusing left us cold – yet I know from our conversations that as a group we have a really good sense of humour.We had an excellent discussion about “The Trouble with Sheep and Goats” by Joanna Cannon and we would recommend that book. We were a bit worried about the new library system with little choice by us, yet the first

one they sent ”The Sealwoman’s Gift” by Sally Magnusson proved very popular. It was unusual and provoked a lively discussion. The next one, however is by another comedian!

ScrabbleWe continue to have some very enjoyable meetings, trying to invent new words that are acceptable for Scrabble! When you find an obscure word that is acceptable, it is forgotten by the next session. The most confusion is caused with two letter words.At least it keeps our brains working. Mary

Many shorter words have been added to the Scrabble dictionary which I am sure will help the group. In December according to the newspaper and permitted by Collins English Dictionary, the following are now allowed: BAE (noun short for before anyone else); UME (noun – yellow fleshy fruit); NDUJA (noun –Italian spicy sausage); PLUTO (verb to lose importance); YOWZA (exclamation to express approval). I personally find 2 difficulties with all these words. The first being that they are not part of my vocabulary and the second is that I would never remember them either.

StrollersOur walk is on the Friday of the week following the U3A monthly meeting. To arrange car sharing we meet up at Gainsborough Tesco for a 9.45am departure. The walks are between 3 – 4 miles and last one and a half to two hours maximum. A well -earned lunch (for those who would like it) just rounds it off nicely.Last October, Lyn and Graham took the group on a new walk in the Perlethorpe, Thoresby Hall area with lunch at the Bay Tree Cafe in the courtyard. We revisited Daneshill Nature Reserve in November for a pleasant, easy walk round the lakes and through woodland with lunch at the King and Miller. We had a break in December, but started afresh in January 2019, when Jeannie and Frank led another walk new to the group, along the River Trent from Torksey. In the next couple of months we shall be venturing out to Saundby, also along the canal at Hayton and hopefully will do a bluebell walk in April/May.New walkers are always welcome. For more information contact the convenors Lyn and Graham Vlacho.

Sunday Lunch

We know this group is still functioning as members of it share venue recommendations with the 2nd Sunday lunch group. 2nd Sunday LunchWe are still thoroughly enjoying our Sunday lunches out together. The choice of venue varies – but we do have our favourites. There is always a discussion about whether we are going to have a starter or a pudding, as well as our main course. This means that we often have to ask what the sweets are even before we choose our main.Last month’s meal was especially good as one of our members also showed us the fine art of how to keep a scarf in place. We can all successfully wear scarves now (even the men - should they want to) without them dangling in the gravy.

Pam Theatre GroupI am not sure whether this group is still meeting. They usually go to the Retford theatres.

Visits The visits group has been busy as you will see from some of the articles in “Out and About” further on. There is a visit planned to Breezy Knees Gardens near York. This will be run in conjunction with The Gardening Group.

Walking We walk every 4th Tuesday mainly in Lincolnshire and Nottinghamshire with sometimes a trip to Derbyshire. In December we have a short walk followed by a Christmas lunch at a pub which is always enjoyable. Our new programme began the year with a walk starting at Blyton Ice Cream parlour, walking over paths and woods to Laughton and back for a well-earned coffee. The March walk is our annual pilgrimage to see the primroses at Belton Church, Isle of Axholme. If you have not seen them then it is well worth a ride (or walk) as they are a wonderful sight. If the timing is

right there will also be violets and snowdrops. We have walks planned at Goucleby, Cresswell Craggs and Tetford to name but a few.

YogaYoga is going well. We have 8 regulars all with a great sense of humour. They are very positive in their feedback which is nice. The studio is moving to a larger room in the near future, when there will be room for more people. Watch this space . . . Sue

Some FunGetting FitI feel as if my body has got totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club. I decided to take aerobics for seniors.I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down and perspired for an hour. But by the time I got my leotard on, the class was over.

from “Seriously Grumpy and Senior”

AgeAge is like the newest version of software – it has a bunch of great new features but you lost all the cool features the original version had.

Carrie LatetOut and About

Thursford Visit 11th

November 2018

For once, Kettlewells coach was on time - 8a.m.!!! The crack of sparrows as far as I’m concerned but it was a long

journey, lengthened by the fact that we had to go to Retford, to pick up another group. We stopped off half-way to call at that well-known cafe whose name I can’t remember but only a 45 minute break and a queue a mile long both for the toilet and the food so some of us slow ones (well, me) only had time to pick up sandwiches and have a quick cup of tea.I had no idea what to expect at Thursford, I know some had been before, but hey up Carol, this was once more one of your great ideas! First of all, at the entrance, instead of the usual display of animated stuffed polar bears in a glass case, there were wolves in a snow-filled case, twitching their tails and moving their heads, and wonders of wonders, the Christmas music playing SOFTLY from the trees. This was not your usual tacky stuff but sung in proper 3 part harmony accompanied by orchestra. Real class. Being a chorister myself, I appreciated the quality. There were Christmas gift shops done out a bit like the old “Dickensian period” shops. All good Christmas “tack” though I did manage to buy a packet of chocolate brussels, which I shall give to my grandson on Christmas Day. He hates the real thing.There was plenty of time to join the “football melee” in the shops or eat something and drink Gluwein in the marvellous catering marquee outside. There were of course quite a few other coaches attending which is why there were huge crowds in the shops but there was a lovely friendly atmosphere about, obviously all U3A members! The show started at 2pm all on one level in this huge “arena/hall”. The floor was raked so you could all see and the stage was about 60 feet across. At one time I counted 33 chorus men going off one side and there would be 33 ladies the other. It was a fantastic show, easily at West End standard. The singing was spectacular, so were the costumes. I would be quite happy to go again, but of course you do have to like musicals. I’ll sign off with one joke from the comedian. “I booked a taxi the other day and during the trip, leaned forward and tapped him on

the shoulder. He jumped and swerved violently, nearly ran into a bus. I said, “Hey up mate, you’re jumpy.” “Well”, he said, “this is my first day driving a taxi, I’ve been driving a hearse for 20 years.” Thank you Carol, it was a long journey but well worth the effort.

Janet

Castle Howard at ChristmasThis was another popular visit, following from our previous years’ Christmas visits to Hardwick Hall and Chatsworth House. These visits have all been very different and they certainly do get us into the festive season.Pictures of this visit are on the back cover – don’t miss them. Blockbusters1. What R is a colony of penguins or seals?2. What A is a wind activated harp?3. What F is a stuffy atmosphere? Answers on page 22

A Question of SportI am not at all interested in watching sport – nor do I recognise many “celebrities” sporting or otherwise, so for me to be queuing outside Dock 2 of the BBC building in Media City, Salford, was somewhat out of the ordinary.We had been told to arrive for 1.30pm to have our tickets verified and that the doors would open at 2.30pm ready for recording at 3.0pmOur tickets were an extra birthday present for my husband and we were keen to do everything correctly – especially as more tickets are given out than seats available.

We arrived in Salford too early, but spoke to people to check all was ok and then went for coffee and a shop at the Lowry Outlet (which wasn’t on my husband’s birthday list!)Arriving back at the BBC a good 15 minutes before the ticket

verification process, we were staggered to see a queue of about 100 people already there. We joined the back and were buffeted by the wind. More and more people joined the queue behind

us. The process of verifying us was slow – though security was quick - and then we hung around for about another 30 minutes until we were called in by number. It was obvious then why people queued so early: the first 50 were seated behind Sue Barker and the teams, so would be on the television quite a lot. We could see really well from where we were seated – until the tallest man in the world sat in front of me causing good natured laughter from all those near me. I was quite happy not to be filmed but should I be, it looks as if I am resting my head on the young lady next to me, just to try to see the stage.Was it all worth it? A resounding “Yes” is the answer. Just being in the studio was amazing. There were so many cameras and, as for all the lights, I have never seen anything like it.We were “warmed up”, and practised our different types of applause so that it could be recorded. The programme then started and I was totally enrapt. The good humour of the show; the off-sides by the teams; and the slickness of the film crew, meant that at times I didn’t know where to look– bearing in mind I still couldn’t look ahead! They say that laughter is the best medicine – if that is the case we should be very healthy, we seemed to do nothing but laugh for just over an hour. The time rushed by. Would I recommend it? – yes, I’d happily go to another show. I think I would prefer to queue in better weather!

However we don’t have to travel far to see good things.

The Trinity Centre – Live StreamingI do love going to the theatre, nothing is quite the same as attending a live performance. We occasionally go to Nottingham, Hull or London but it is expensive as we have to build in travel (often costly) and travel time. Travelling back at night is tiring and takes the edge off the outing. Also theatre tickets at well-known venues are incredibly expensive.This is why I think the facility of Live Streaming is one of the best of the recent “inventions” and I am so grateful that our local centre participates. I regularly go to the streamings from The Bolshoi Ballet and it’s as if I have a seat in the stalls as I can see the dancers’ faces and facial expressions. Admittedly the downside is that I cannot always see all the stage and I have to listen to that very talented translator rattle on before and during the interval whether I want to or not, yet that is a small price to pay and I can learn an awful lot – except I usually “zone her out”.Plays from the National Theatre and from the Royal Shakespeare Company are another bonus. It is wonderful to go just 10 minutes down the road and be entertained by some of the best actors our country has to offer. We are not fighting huge crowds at the bar, parking is free, you can meet up with loads of friends who also happen to be there and it is a safe environment for me to feel I can go to on my own (husband isn’t a fan of ballet!)So, if you haven’t tried it, do. Yes the tickets are more expensive than those to a film at this venue but a fraction of the price of a West End Ticket. See you there next time.The Trinity Centre evening times have changed and start later so finish later, which means that some of our members without

transport feel they can no longer go. If you have transport and attend some films at the Trinity, could you offer to give a lift home to those who may need one.

Confessions of some TravellersIf I told you that Pam and I went on a 12 day long bus tour in November you would all know what we were likely to encounter. A whistle stop tour on a bus, without a loo, with lots of people you didn’t know. Yeah,… well, OK!BUT the people were really very nice, a very mixed bunch and some of the poor so-and-sos were young enough to still have to work! We travelled about 1500 miles in 12 days and it was in INDIA!! What! – you must be bonkers!!! Talk about doing ‘firsts’ – although, to be fair, not many were on our wish list:

Driving up a dual carriageway the wrong way; Sharing a toilet with a rat; Witnessing an elephant traffic jam; Seeing the biggest Sun Dial in the world – at least 3 stories

high – amongst several other 18th Century versions of varying degrees of accuracy;

Staying in a vegan hotel, which, to put the tin hat on it, was dry as well;

Being taken to a BBQ in the desert on a camel drawn cart – one of our ‘cart mates’ looked like a MASH casualty being brought to the helicopter;

The Taj Mahal – I mean the TAJ MAHAL, the real one, not the café down the road. It was worth the price alone, it was magnificent and, as they knew we were coming, they had cleaned it all up and cleared away the scaffolding before our visit. ‘Twas magnificent, not just the buildings, but also the gardens and lakes which add such natural beauty to the

skill of the architect. They had even remembered to sort out the toilets, can I say more.

So there we are, end of story. . . . . .Not really.It was a visit of 14 days seeing 6 UNESCO World Heritage Sights with Palaces, Forts and Temples. It was unforgettable and quite tiring.Our first day and night was spent on the trail of the Silk Route and we stayed in a magnificent hotel which had been a ‘haveli’. These were merchant houses which had been built to palatial proportions on the back of the profits made from this commerce. We spent another morning wandering round the town of Mandawa, a previously very important town on the route. We went inside a number of these havelis, some of which had fallen into disrepair – it reminded me very much of Pompey. Throughout our morning tour we were accompanied by ‘traders’ trying to sell us anything. It was a forerunner to all our stops.The religious places were probably the least impressive. The exception to this was a wonderful Jain Temple in Ranakpur which was made of marble, had too many columns to count, was symmetrical in design to the nth degree and was simply staggering. Coupled to the fact that the visit was completed by a lunch stop in an equally beautiful hotel and you will see that the Jains had a winner.To be fair the 73m 12th Century minaret in Delhi was rather good, but the Sikh Temple in Udaipur and the largest mosque in India in Old Delhi were not anything special. It was in this last temple when we had our only ‘incident’. On entry all our ladies were asked to don extra clothing despite being well covered. As they wandered about a number chatted to the locals who were very similarly attired, but had not been required to add an additional “surgical” gown. Even the local ladies felt this was odd and unfair.When is a fort not a fort?The answer, clearly is in India, where many of the forts are really quite unbelievable palaces. I suppose we visited 6 such buildings and they are all built on a similar pattern, but from that basic

standpoint the various

designers have then gone to town with dazzling decoration and priceless artifacts. Many of these buildings do have huge flat walls as a deterrent to would-be attackers. These walls were often much higher than the ruins we see around Britain; also they were intact and they had the odd battlement at the top. They had enormous doors usually studded with iron stakes to prevent elephants charging to batter them down. One designer had even sneakily hid the huge gate round the corner so that the elephants couldn’t take a run up at the job. It didn’t stop him putting stakes there as well – belt and braces job.

Behind these walls the princes had established palaces to proclaim their wealth, run their part of the country, and the whole of their family. There were just so many exquisite rooms in each palace each adorned with jewels and precious metals. It is impossible to do them justice and some of the views of the surrounding countryside were… epic. Each palace had sections where only the men

were allowed and the ladies were kept behind closed doors and windows in the harem. The treatment meted out by the rajah, or maharajah, to the ladies of his family does not make good reading.We visited one palace near Agra which was 16th Century and perfectly preserved, because 2 or 3 years after being built they discovered it was no longer sustainable because the water supply was lacking. In consequence the whole palace was cleared of anything of value. Now you can see all the buildings in place, but none of the decoration as a distraction. It gave a clear sense of how the palaces were designed and the mix of architectural styles which were available in India at

that time. And then we went to a sweet little spot call the Taj Mahal . . . Wow!

What have we learned?A country of contrasts – the wealth gap may be big here in Britain, but the rich over there are on a different planet. Oddly they are not footballers. Perhaps the odd cricketer, but the wealth does seem to be in the hands of the former rulers. They have opened their palaces to the people and have not always moved out, but many have - to new palaces/hotels to maintain their wealth.We couldn’t get our heads round the caste system – now officially banned, but still fully in force in the towns and villages around the country.In the cities there is great poverty and much filth. How could there not be when cows wander freely about and have to be given food and protection. People are always using brooms to clear round their shop/house, but their piles of rubbish are not cleared away and simply return. In some cities we did see great efforts at keeping the place clean – Udaipur was an example of this and the boat trip on the Lake, here, to the lovely, small palace in the middle was a highlight of the tour.So we feel lucky we have seen these wonderful places, but the memories are slightly tarnished by the state of the poor people who exist nearby. Anthony

Joke:The neighbours thought it was rather odd, but 93 year old Patrick was dating again. One Monday morning Patrick woke up with a funny feeling that something important had happened last night. It was during breakfast that he finally remembered what it was. He had proposed to his date Anthea. But what she answered he just couldn’t seem to remember. Patrick picked up the phone and dialled. “Hi, Anthea”, said Patrick, “I have a funny question for you. Do you remember last nigh,t when I proposed?” “Oh, my gosh!” gushed Anthea. “I’m so glad you called, I knew I said yes to somebody but I just could not recall who it was!”

Answers to the Brain Teasers1. Macbeth2. Bar billiards3. Wellington4. 12 noon5. Llama

Answers to the Blockbusters1. Rookery 2. Aeolian 3.Fug