February 2019 Newsletter

Please welcome our new therapist, Roy. He has been in practice for over 18 years and specializes in sports, deep tissue and relaxation massages.

Anyways, as I was drying my hands she looked over at me and stared straight into my eyes and said, "You know you're fat right?" I know you don't think so because you see yourself every day and it's hard to notice. I weigh like 118 and there's no way you way less than me." Can you believe this woman, she says all this right before dinner? I looked at her and said, "Dad just said I was skinny at Christmas and you do weigh more than me." Needless to say, I don't have her programmed on my phone as "Mom", it's actually labeled as "Queen Mafia" because she thinks she can still run all of our lives. Some of us even have Queen Mafia as our password.

We were all doing planks at the Christmas party since we don't drink and got bored after opening presents. It also made Queen Mafia very happy. She thinks everyone is overweight.

You know that when your mom says anything to you, it sticks. I went home and looked at myself in the mirror and weighed myself that night because she gave me such a complex. You see, Asian women are supposed to be like toothpicks and I mean pale toothpicks. She always tells me that I am too dark. I hate to say it, but Queen Mafia was right and wrong. She did weigh more than me but I did put on a few pounds since Christmas.

So, I started my cleanse not because of Queen Mafia. I did it because we just had our Lunar New Year, which by the way was the year of the pig (guess my mom was right), which is my year. So in case you guys wanted to celebrate the Lunar New Year with me, feel free to call us and ask about our Weight Loss Program. I made this salad myself for the cleanse and it was so edible.