A PowerPoint Presenting How to Avoid Wordy Sentence

Constructions in Your Own Writing in and out of Class

Get it?

What is “wordiness”?

Using too many words to express a thought.•The following sentence is wordy. What words could you take away without losing any of the meaning of the sentence?

•The reason why he came to Douglas College was because it was inexpensive in price.

•The words reason, why, and because all express the same idea. •Saying something is inexpensive includes the idea of price.

•A more concise version of the sentence might be: He came to Douglas College because it was inexpensive.

Now back to the warm-up…

Here’s another example of wordiness:

Despite the fact that she was feeling ill, she came to the conclusion that she would go to work.

Despite the fact that is really just a long way of saying despite.

Came to the conclusion that is a long way of saying decided.

A more concise version of the sentence is: Despite feeling ill, she decided to go to work.

Replacements for wordy expressions At this moment/point in

time

Due to the fact that

For the purpose of

It is clear/obvious that

Without a doubt

There is no question that

In this day and age

Now/today

Because

For

Clearly/obviously

Undoubtedly

Certainly

Today

Wordiness—Intensifiers (Camping involves intense fires…)

Really, very, extremely, completely, totally

Overuse causes the words to lose meaning. If you have a ton, it makes what your saying lame sauce.

It’s seriously annoying when really every single word is very important and a really big deal because it’s very counterproductive to place a lot of very intense, albeit really pointless words, in front of words that don’t really need very many intensifiers.

Avoid clichés

Better late than never Crushing blow Easier said than done Sad but true Sigh of relief Tried but true Ladder of success

Passive Voice

Extraneous words/phrases are inevitably included in sentences by using passive voice.

Ex:› The criminal was caught by the police, and

later the criminal was convicted by the courts.

› The police caught the criminal, and the court convicted him

Practice Time! Rewrite the following sentences

in a more concise way. The stegosaurus was very huge in size. The stegosaurus was huge. Very unencumbered by a real sense of responsibility, Jim

left his wife with forty-nine kids and a can of beans. Jim left his wife with forty-nine kids and a can of beans. On January 14, in the middle of winter, the weather was

really freezing cold. On January 14, the weather was freezing. Furthermore, Henry VIII also married six different

women. Henry VIII also married six women