St. Michael's College Magazine HITCHIN.

VOLUME XII. No. 1. EASTER, 1934.

EDITOR:REV. HUGH HOWITT, A.A., B.A.

EDITORIAL.

Father d'Alzon, whose portrait you will see at the beginning of this magazine was a man of burning faith and profound foresight. At a time when the Faith in France was burning low ;'at a time when the priest was told to keep his sacristy and to mind his business, Father d'Alzon founded a congregation and planned a great scheme of Catholic Action. He dreamt of priests who would lead stirring public pilgrimages to the great shrines ; of priests directing a press organisation whose publications would penetrate into millions of homes ; of numerous colleges where Catholic youth would be educated as militant Christians, to withstand all the onslaughts of modern paganism.

His dream has come true. Our own St. Michael's College is but one of the many throughout the world which are directed by his sons. Their work is not only the teaching of the Arts and the Sciences—which could be done by any competent layman—but, above all, the formation of good Catholics, active members of the Church Militant. The rising generation cannot be only " passengers" in the Church In our time Communist youth, grounded in the doctrines of Marx is formed into Shock Brigades for the carry-on of an Anti-God campaign. Our boys must be inspired with a deep devotion and love for Our Lord, for His Blessed Mother and for the Church, His Spouse. This love will be the source of all the activity demanded of Catholic laymen today. The world is sinking into a slough of religious indifference ; we must no longer be on the defensive, but must carry the attack into the enemy's camp. Our boys must go out into the world ready to look a carking neighbour in the face and say " Of course I am a Catholic ; why aren't you ?" They must he ready to take an active part in social organisations, realising that the well-being of the working classes or the relief of the indigent is not merely an economic or humitarian question, but one that is intimately connected with the all-embracing Love of Christ.

The Church is God's Kingdom on this earth. In its extension lies the only hope for a world whose social and economic system is riddled with avarice, egotism and pride. The device of the Assump-tion, Adveniat Regnum Tuum, can be. realised in some measure in this England of ours by the boys who have worked and played within the walls of our College,

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A member of the Staff was present in Rome last year at the opening of the Holy Door ; Father Superior and Father Wilfrid will he there when it is closed by Pius XI, that great Pope of Catholic Action. May this Holy Anniversary of Our Lord not have been without its graces for all of us at St. Michael's, that we may all be active in futhering the coming of His Reign.

SCHOOL CHRONICLE.

Jan. 15th The Boarders return, but some, disgusted at being torn so rapidly from Home and Beauty manage to develop various distempers and go home again by the next train. The remainder, possessed with that staunch, British, bull-dog spirit, nerved themselves to the prospect of eleven weeks at School There is no lack of conversation at table, several boys proudly claiming the glory of having seen the Loch Ness Monster during the holidays.

>7 16th The VIth are shaken to the bottom of their souls to see that the sweet contiguity of their places in the Study Hall is to be disturbed by the unwelcome intervention of base Vth Form desks. This appears to be one of the Supervisor's New Year resolutions.

73 18th Two minute speeches were the order of the day in the Vth Form during English class this morning. It appears that Blakiston successfully turned a motor car inside out in that period.

)3 19th The perennial game of Marbles begins to come into favour again with the small boys. Several small capitalists are showing signs of a great future on the Stock Exchange. It is expected that one small boy will make a corner in marbles before tomorrow night.

„ 20th The new tennis court is officially opened and blessed by Father Superior, although it appears that Brother Frederick, graced, if not blessed it with his presence on Christmas Day. Teams of rollers are ardently sought but in vain, so the fee for a game is to he half an hour's rolling (This is pure fiction.—Ed.)

Owing to N. Murphy having left us at the end of last term, members of the first and second elevens met to elect their new Captain. G. Cheyne obtained this honour by a good majority.

21st Father James's Magical Silver Screen, having cast its smell before it, comes into use tonight with the resumption of the fortnightly Cinema.

„ 23rd We hear that we will probably have a display of gymnastics on Sports Day ; there may be pyramids and massed drill under the supervision of Mr. Barber, our Instructor.

3 Jan.

25th

The first rumblings of rumour concerning the School Concert are heard in various class-rooms during Study, when various parts are alloted to the School histrionic talent. Heath is very enthusiastic about his singing, and he intends to put his yodel through a special course of training before the " Great Day."

,, 28th We are pleased to see Father Wilfrid again after his long illness and hope that he will soon regain all his former strength and vigour.

,, 31st "The Under 14's " day has arrived. They are to play Luton Modern Under 14 eleven today. The two matches played during the term against Luton are regarded as very important by the Juniors for they are the first steps to a position in the Under 15.

Feb. 2nd

The Feast of the Purification is celebrated with due solemnity. There is High Mass and the ceremony of the distribution of the Candles in the School Chapel. In the evening the VIth hear a reconstruction of

"The Trial of Charles I" on the wireless and although this is regarded as a treat they take more notes and with more ardour than they eyer do in class. It is said that as the next item, a musical one, came on at the end, the History Master was heard to mutter, as if in pain, " Take away that bauble." ,, 3rd The Under 15 eleven vainly tried to find their opponents amidst a slow, cold, drizzle but having seen that there was evidently no team to play they went to help the First Eleven play Letchworth Boys' Club.

,, 6th We did not object when a member of St. Augustine's Dormitory tried to train his unruly locks by sleeping in a beret but we really draw the line when he begins to anoint his legs with Woolworth's Hair Oil. ,, 9th The Staff were not flattered on hearing that a young Third Former had averred in Catechism Class that besides obeying his parents he was also bound to obey

"his awful superiors." ,, 12th In the evening we were very much gratified by the presence of Mr. R. A. Sinfield of the Gloucester C.C.C.

We were greatly interested in his personal reminis-cences recounted in a very humorous vein, and in his demonstrations of batting and bowling.

,, 13th Half-term holiday. The day was spent in patronis-ing the new tennis court and in football. ,, 14th We were presented with the "Kill the Dragon" Poster and collection cards for the Crusade of Rescue Fund. We were greatly encouraged to hear that last year we collected Five Pounds, a sum far greater than any previous effort.

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Feb.

20th

Rehearsals for the Concert are in full swing, so much so that an ardent Pirate managed to get himself thrown through a large window pane during the proceedings.

„

28th

The first snow of the year, with all its attendant delights, but alas! its joy is but brief, for a quick thaw came on in the afternoon.

Mar.

1st

A great match was played today by the Under 15 against Wilshere-Dacre, the leaders of the Hitchin and District League. The result was a victory for us, the score being seven goals to nil. The Under 15 have great hopes of gaining both the League Championship and the Hitchin and District Charity Cup this season. ,, 4th We were honoured by a visit from His Lordship Bishop Butt who had been visiting the Parish for the purpose of administering the Sacrament of Confirmation He very kindly requested a holiday for us which was readily granted. ,, 9th The "Great Day." The School Concert takes place tonight. The enormous amount of "rum" and

"sack" consumed during the plays made the Green Room Supper at 11.30 p.m. almost bacchanalian in its tumult.

,, 10th Whole holiday. Day of relaxation after yesterday's excitement. The Table Tennis Championship was played and won today by S. Roy who beat J. Heath and obtained the Cup; Heath receives a Medal. A very in-teresting Cinema show concluded a very pleasant day.

,, 15th The end of the term is becoming a reality when the Examination programme is posted up; this somewhat damps the joyful spirit of the School at the prospect of the holidays.

,, 18th We are deeply grieved to hear of the illness of Father Higley of Limehouse. We have many reasons to be grateful to Fr. Higley, in particular, for his many contributions to the boys' library.

,, 20th The term examinations begin to-morrow. The sound of "swotting" is heard in the land.

,, 21st The School field resembles a quagmire,and the hopes of completing the "Under15" league games and of playing the Cup Final before Easter are growing fainter

,, 22nd-27th Toiling all night and toiling all day. ,, 27th Examination results. It was better, perhaps, to draw a veil over the proceedings.

,, 28th Exeunt omnes. J. REDMOND,

Form VI.

SCHOOL NOTES.

The Easter term, this year, is the shortest of the three. This is unfortunate in more ways than one, for it happens to be also the most strenuous term. For those who are sitting for the public examinations during the summer it represents the most useful time of the whole school year. Boys usually devote the Christmas term to thinking vaguely about the enormous amount of work they are required to do during the year, while the summer term passes in vain regrets for the enormous amount of work they might have done. We trust, however, that there will be no regrets this year. The two upper Forms are to be congratulated on having studied really hard and intensively during the term.

* * * * *

Another disadvantage of the short term has been the difficulty experienced in fitting in all the football fixtures, and this applies more especially to the Under 15 XI. At the time of writing this team is concluding a very successful season, having obtained signal victories over many of its traditional "enemies" on several occasions. If all goes well, they should be fortunate enough, not only to head their League Table, but also to carry off the Challenge Cup. A later report, we devoutly hope, will be found among the sports pages.

* * * * *

The Easter Term is often a period of sneezing and coughing and choking in dormitory, class room and Chapel. The influenza germ with its attendant satellites rarely fails to pay us a visit. This year, however, we must congratulate ourselves ; neither the Members of the Staff nor the boys have suffered from more than occasional colds. * * * * *

The new hard tennis court has already proved a great success. The many mild and sunlit days with which we have been favoured have induced many enthusiasts to bring their racquets out from their winter seclusion. Certain Members of the Staff have also been assiduous. One at least, has not escaped altogether "rent free" It is said that they find tennis to have a considerable hygienic value.

* * * *

*

Our gratitude is due to Mr. R. A. Sinfield of Gloucester, C.C.C. who was kind enough to give us a lecture on Cricket. If our cricket next term is equal to the interest displayed in this fascinating talk, we should have a most successful season. * * * * *

The Summer Term begins on Monday, April 23rd. All Boarders must he hack on that date. Day Boys are required to return on the following day, April 24th.

6 On Sunday, March 4th, His Lordship, Bishop Butt conferred the

Sacrament of Confirmation on fifty-eight candidates from Hitchin and the surrounding parishes. The following twelve boys from the College were confirmed. The names they took in confirmation are contained in parentheses: MATTHEW LYNCH (Patrick Joseph), SUNIL ROY (Francis Xavier), FREDERICK JOHNSTON (Brendan), BERTRAM WELLS (Michael Andrew), TIMOTHY DALY (Benedict), MICHAEL REDMOND (Finbarr), CLIFFORD HARMER (Patrick), DENNIS TOOMBS (John), WILLIAM DALY (Benedict), JOHN REDMOND (Patrick), GEORGE TOSTEE (MICHAEL), DAVID STEPHENS (Michael).

After the Ceremony, Bishop Butt was pleased to pay a short visit to the College where he surprised the boys by an appearance in the Study Hall, and was kind enough to request a whole holiday for them. * * * * *

The multitudinous external activities of the Assumptionist Fathers haye already been made known to English readers in the little book—"The Augustinians of the Assumption" Assumptionist Spirituality " translated and adapted from the French by Father Andrew Beck, A.A., is a new and valuable addition. to Assumptionist literature. Written in a simple, vigorous style, it explains the spirit and the solid doctrines which underlie the active and successful apostolate of the Assumptionist Fathers throughout the world. The book may be obtained from Washbourne and Bogan, Ltd., or from the College, Price 1/-. * * * * *

This year occurs the Silver Jubilee of the Ordination to the Holy Priesthood of our Superior, Father Evariste Buytaers, and of Father Wilfred Manser, A.A. We hear that they are to celebrate this anniversary by going on a pilgrimage to Rome during Holy Week. We offer them both our heartfelt congratulations and feel sure that they will remember us all at the tomb of St. Peter. Ad multos annos. * * * *

* Brother Frederick wishes to express his gratitude to the

following, for gifts of flowers for the Altar:—Mrs. Thibaut, Mrs. Osborne, Mrs. Harmer, Mrs, Pyne, and also to Mrs. Foyster who has sent an Altar Cloth. * * * * *

Father Dunstan wishes to thank Rev. Father Higley of Limehouse and P. Wilkinson for gifts of books for the Library. * * * * *

The following obtained Rolls of Honour during the term: First Roll -

E. COOPER, P. EDMUNDS, B. ALDER-SMITH, R. PALMER. P. SMITH, J. BAILEY. , T. CARTER, L. FALLOWFIELD, N, JORDAN, D. TOOMBS.

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Second Roll— B. CLITHROE, J. REDMOND, A. BLAKISTON, J. DUNLOP,

P. FALLOWFIELD, D. GRIGGS, P. LEMMON, J. BARRY, H. LYNCH, S. ROY, D. SCOTT, F. SMITH, P. WILKINSON, E. WOODFORD, T. BOLDING, A. CUNNINGHAM, G. MATTHEWS, B. WELLS, H. BOURKE, J. DENNIS, C. GEARY, A. GRAINGE, E. KEEBLE, B. LEMMON, P. MURPHY, M. REDMOND, D. WOODWARD, J. BOLDING, J. REDMOND, D. STEPHENS.

The Editor acknowledges with thanks, the following exchanges. The Georgian, The Ratcliffian, St. John's Gazette, Hitchin

Grammar School Chronicle, Prior Park Magazine, The Raven, The Wonersh Magazine, St. Sacred Heart School Magazine, .St. Christopher Magazine, The Ushaw Magazine.

THE HUNTSMEN. We saddle all our horses,

For the joyous day has come ; The hounds are all awaiting,

The starting out from home.

Now we are all together, The master blows the horn ;

We all go galloping along, Beside the sprouting corn.

The hounds are all before us, The fox is not in sight,

So on and on we hasten, To the spinney on the right.

The cover does not hold him, The hounds are on his track,

The dogs give tongue ; away he goes For speed he does not lack.

Over the plough we chase him, Up to the little mound ;

Back through the tiny village, Where children's voices sound.

When everything has quietened, And Renard's gone to ground,

The golden sun is sinking, And we are homeward bound.

A, WILSON, Form III.

8

THE COMING OF CROMWELL.

Brother Anthony looked down the lane. " 'Tis they," he muttered, " they've come at last."

" Not Cromwell ?" said his companion. " No, it is too terrible Our Lady of Walsingham ! Not Cromwell, Brother Anthony."

" It is Cromwell." replied the younger monk. " Tbere can be no doubt. One of the Sisters from Linden was here this morning. She said they were there yesterday. Go and tell Brother Sebastian to prepare lodgings in the Guest-house. They may stay."

His companion disappeared into the house, and Anthony was left alone, watching the cloud of dust that marked the position of the approaching horsemen. Then he crossed himself, and went into the Chapel.

In a few minutes he was called again, by a plump little Brother whose face was aglow with unaccustomed exertion.

" They're nearing the gates now," cried this worthy. " Oh, Brother; do come out."

Anthony went back to the great iron gates, and looked out. They were just outside.

" From tbe King ?" asked Anthony. " Yes. I am Thomas Cromwell. We have a King's Order.

Open the gates, or we'll use force." The monk made a sign to the Porter, and he came forward with

the great keys, to open the gates. " Aha ! Open good St. Peter," jested the Men, but the Porter

damped their ardour with bis sturdy reply. " Tis not St. Peter who'll be letting' you in, I'm a fearing ! " " Will you come to the Chapel and then have something to cat ? "

asked Anthony. " No, eat first. No popish practices for us."

Brother Walter led the way to the great refectory where the soldiers were fed, and then to the lavatory where they washed.

" And now take me to the Abbot's Chamber." requested Cromwell. " We have a lot to do 'ere day is done, so hurry."

" So you won't be staying tonight ?" Umph, young Clerk, by tonight there will be nowhere to stay !

But enough. Lead on." -----

Sometime afterwards the door opened, and the two men came out. Cromwell was .very red, and was laughing, but the saintly old Abbot had tears rolling down his cheeks.

Anthony's heart sank. " Go and get the others together." bade the Abbot. Brother

Walter did so. " My children, it has suited God's purpose to allow us to be

turned from our house by these wicked men." (" Enough of that !" said Cromwell) " Let us accept His judgment with humility.

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Master Cromwell, who has a warrant from the King, tells me that we must leave before tonight. Weep not, for 'tis the Will of the Lord, and we must accept it. as did job."

Sonic of the older monks broke into tears, at the thought of leaving their old home. Then one of the soldiers began to push them out.

" Stay !" bade Cromwell. " They must not go yet. Let them stay and help us to sack the Chapel. Perchance they'll like the job." The soldier desisted.

Anthony's heart sank. So they were to sack the Chapel, The plate that was given by Henry Tudor, Richard and the Edwards. All was to go. And to Henry. Henry would use it to keep his wives in clothes--O God. He followed them across the Cloisters, and into the time-honoured Chapel, made by Henry II four hundred years before. He genuflected, and then stood to one side.

Piece by piece the valuables were taken out, one of the monks being forced to make an inventory.

Candlesticks vestments—crucifixes—monstrances- Suddenly they began to mount the altar steps. They were

opening the Tabernacle "No, no! I'll not witness it." cried Anthony suddenly, and in

another minute was gone, across the Cloisters, past the Noyice house, by the Guest-house through the gates and down the lane.

P. EDMUNDS, Form I V.

OLD BOYS' NOTES. There have been no activities this term. The dinner in London,

which it was tentatively suggested at the Annual Meeting might take place during February has had to be postponed owing to the incidence of Lent, and other minor difficulties. This dinner has now been definitely arranged to take place in London on Thursday, April 19th, at the Bedford Hotel, Bedford Street, Strand, W.C.2. It is hoped that Father Atthill, Headmaster of the School until 1925 and very well known to many of the older members, will be a guest on that occasion. Members will be further notified of the time of the dinner, and it is hoped that a record number will attend. Please book the date now. NEWS OF EVERYONE.

We have heard from F. C. DOUGHTY who after a somewhat peripatetic period seems to have come to rest in the City. He is engaged as a chemist with a firm which deals chiefly with mining chemicals. His address is:181 Gloucester Terrace, W.2.

L. COLE (Brother Edmund), writes from St. Augustine's Abbey, Ramsgate. He seems to be getting on very well indeed and seems to be worried only by a tendency to obesity. He says, " ' The Old Boys ' do not seem very anxious to write. I thought that some would have written to me for Christmas but—not so."

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A. FOYSTER. A new recruit is Alan Foyster, who is at present on the Training Ship Mercury, Hamble, Hants. He evidently gets on as well with Mars as with the Muses for he tells us that he obtained a prize for English and for Gunnery.

Our excellent and regretted Treasurer, Mr. GODFREY writes to say that he has been having a very busy time indeed, allied with heayy responsibility in his business, owing to the absence of his Chief. He pressingly asks if ladies are to be invited to the " do " Does this question, we wonder, emanate from Mr. Godfrey himself ?

A long lost Michaelean ARTHUR WARK, who was mentioned in these Notes last term, writes again from Boulder City, Western Australia. " It was a pleasant surprise to receive the Magazine from you. I do not remember either a School Mag. or an Old Boys' Association when I was at School. However, that is so far away now that my memory may be at fault. No doubt, they both filled a much needed place in the life of a big School. In looking through the pages, strange to relate, there are only two names I can remember, namely Father Atthill, and Father Andrew...... I should like to point out to the Editor of the Mag. that in his little paragraph on your humble servant, he made two mistakes, quite unwittingly, of course. It was my brother VICTOR who was the youngest boy in School at the time, and my name is spelt WARK although it is pronounced as he wrote it...... In Boulder here, just newly formed, is a Catholic Young Men's Club of which I am an active member....... Actually we have been in existence six months or so and of course will need to be going for a while yet before we Settle down into a good Club,. Our path has so far been strewn with success Our Club room was given to us by one of the business men in town. It is very spacious and contains a small billiards table, Ping Pong table, nine feet by fiye feet, a set of Carpet Bowls, Hookey Quoits and a Library. We haye got a good cricket team two as a matter of fact. . One team, the better, plays in the Goldfields Friendly Societies Association and as we couldn't get in as the B.C.Y.S. because we are not a Friendly Society, we got in as the Hibernians, being sanctioned by that Lodge Catholic action, we are pleased to observe is being carried by an Old Michaelean even to the remote parts of the Empire.

We are sorry to haye to announce that Mr. S. B. RIDLEY suffered a great loss by the death of his Mother on December 15th, 1933. In the name of all the Old Boys we offer our deepest sym-pathies to Mr. Ridley, and we feel sure that all will remember his intentions in their prayers,

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CLOUDS. Clouds like stately galleons,

Scud across the sky, Hustled on by boisterous winds

Above our heads so high. The sun peeps out 'twist fleecy folds

With radiance ever bright. While gradually the moon shows up,

Heralding the night. The clouds now darken slowly,

As the blood-red orb sinks down, And little stars peep shyly through,

Like jewels in a crown. D. GRIGGS,

Form V . NONSENSE.

The Concert made us thrill with fearful thrills ; The pirates and the scouts won loud applause. I wonder how poor Falstaff paid his bills. Outside the study there are new swing doors. Fal-staff drowned his shame (and beard !) in sack, And Joey lost his whiskers in the wars. The stool on which Poins sat had got no back. The hinges squeak on both the new swing doors. Table tennis gives us joy for long, The new hard court has seen our twos and fours. Both Heath and Roy can ping a deadly pong, But cannot swing so softly as those doors. The painters in the study paint with zeal, The runners hot perspire from all their pores. The doors are painted (imitation deal). I mean the front ones—not the new swing doors. The " Under 15 " are a deadly team, They pepper their opponents without pause, And only stop a while to get up steam. And then—to Study through the new swing doors. Lynch can fire a ball with deadly shot (The cake we get has broken many jaws). He once upon the ceiling shot a spot, Through swinging harder than the new swing doors. As summer comes we think of outdoor joys. We'ye had a talk on Cricket and its laws. We loye our French and Latin—such good boys ; And almost hate to pass the new swing doors. Poor Whisky's spirit sadly sped away, And Billy one drear day turned up his paws. No wonder that the Staff has seemed less gay, And silence reigns beyond the shut swing doors. The " Torture Chamber now is Room Eleven. From thence we sometimes come with aches and sores. I once had four—but think of six, or seyen ! He swings much harder than those new swing doors. The wireless fans have had their fill, I trow, The week-end music plays with scarce a pause. The Study sits and listens some—and how ! The sound is muffled by the new swing doors. I cannot keep this going all the time. Besides, both you and me the subject bores. I think that I've exhausted every rhyme. I'll shut me up—as do the new swing doors.

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THE CONFRATERNITY OF ST. MICHAEL.

In common with .all Confraternities or Sodalities we thought it expedient to give, this term, a short resume of the history of our Confraternity in so far as it concerns us, and to set forth in writing the few local Regulations it has been thought fit to impose upon Members.

The Confraternity was founded in Portugal, at the suggestion of St. Michael himself, by a devout Servant of God, Antonia of Astonac, to whom he appeared. He told her that he wished to be honoured by nine salutations, corresponding to the nine Choirs of Angels, consisting of one Pater and three Ayes in honour of each of the nine Angelic Choirs.

He promised that in return for this veneration, an Angel from each of the nine Choirs should accompany the communicant to the Holy Table ; continual assistance during life to all who recite the chaplet daily ; deliverance, of their souls and those of their relatives from the pains of Purgatory.

Generous indulgences were granted by Pope Pius IX (copies of the leaflet on which particulars relating to these indulgences and the method of gaining them are set forth, may be obtained, together with chaplets, medals, badges, etc., on making application to the Secretary, Confraternity of St. Michael, St Michael's College, Hitchin, Herts.)

The Confraternity of St. Michael was canonically erected at Hitchin by a Decree of Cardinal Bourne, Archdeacon of Westminster, on. December 3rd, 1907.

A branch of the Confraternity was established in the College by the Rev. Father Louis Deydier, A.A., for the purpose of encour-aging priestly vocations and for fostering the Catholic Spirit in the School. The first Meeting took place on October 13th, 1927. Unfortunately, however, the second object remained dormant until quite recently ; but we are glad to see that now a number of boys are seeking admission with a yiew to promoting it.

The Meetings themselves consist of the recitation of the Chaplet and of a lecture by the Rev. President.

The few local Regulatuions members are asked to observe are: A short postulancy prior to being duly enrolled Members of the Confraternity.

The obtaining of a certain percentage of the monthly marks, both for work and Conduct.

Attendance at the weekly recitation of the Chaplet. The offering of Holy Communion for benefactors. The contribution of a small weekly sum by each Member which

helps to cover the stipend of a monthly Mass. There haye been no special activities this term. The meetings

haye been well attended ; the monthly Masses have been said ;

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Holy Communion offered for Benefactors. We include this term an entirely new feature, namely: NEWS FROM FORMER MEMBERS.

BROTHER GABRIEL (E. Brayton Slater, A.A.) "I continue to find Philosophy extremely interesting, perhaps more so this year than last. I am preparing a lecture on 'Cardinal Newman's Philosophy.' "

BROTHER VINCENT PALMER, A.A. I was sent to Italy in August because Lorgues is too hot for me, a Northerner........Please say a prayer that I may get better quickly."

BROTHER JOHN MARY VASSALLO, A.A., "We have football here now. It is very amusing, especially when one receives the

kicks........ thanks to Fr. Andrew for the ball he sent out." BROTHER EDMUND COLE, O.S.B. "We have just emerged from

a wonderful annual Retreat .......Christmas now seems distant Most of the day here was spent in Choir, as all the Office was sung with full ceremonial -I hope to be able to enter the Noviciate soon."

ALBERT GOULD (White Fathers, Bishop's Waltham.) "It is a much harder life here than at St. Michael's ...... I am working hard."

DAVID G. HENNESSY, Secretary

WIRELESS. A BLESSING OR A CURSE ?

I am patiently awaiting the day when our English Master will give us an essay on the above subject. I have answers to whatever questions he may be pleased to propound, and I am longing for the occasion to deliver my views on the subject to the world. I may even be favoured enough to use the medium of the School Magazine. However it may be better that the pages of our family bulletin should be kept free from violent criticism, if I may call it so, for my entry would be both violent and abusive. What I object to chiefly is the intense torture from which we suffer on every Saturday evening when the usually calm atmosphere of the Study is rudely interrupted by the sounds which proceed from the Wireless. Could it be called Variety ? Yes ! Music ? No ! The true spirit of music would never deign to use these newfangled instruments, nor the crooning of the Fox-trot vocalist and the so-called humorous songs of the Variety Artist. Incredible to relate these hideous sounds seem to afford certain members of the School, and even of the Staff, open amusement. Perhaps they think it impossible to enjoy modern life without the products of modern life. Let me then register a plea ; let those who love music share the advantages of the Wireless as well as those whose cravings reach no higher than the ignoble summits of uninspired jazz tunes.

F. JOHNSTON, Form III .

14

ADVENTURE OF FINDITT HOUT.

(With apologies to Mr. F. C.Doughty.)

The Fishy Case of the Unbalanced Budget.

The face of the Chancellor of the Exchequer was covered with gloom so much so that his secretary had switched on the light in his study. The Chancellor had spent the previous ninety-six hours without sleep, trying to balance the Budget. He had juggled and cooked his accounts in as many ways as he could think of, but all to no satisfactory result. Finally he had called in as a last hope the services of the Minister for Weights and Measures to help in the balancing ; but nothing came of it.

At that moment Finditt Hout, the world famous detective, who had been lying in front of the fire, disguised as a Persian rug, rose to his feet and confronted the Minister. When the latter had got oyer his natural surprise, Hout quickly propounded a scheme for restoring equilibrium to the Budget. The Chancellor listened with rapt attention, wreathed in smiles and red tape. While be gaye instructions for the carrying out of the new scheme over the telephone, Hout taking advantage of his inattention, casually slipped a time bomb into the inkwell and rapidly filled in an Accident Insurance Policy. At his request, the Chancellor his head already full of tbe new scheme signed on the dotted line without demur, and Hout left by the window in his tame helicopter, highly satisfied with his day's work. Even detectives have to live. * * * * *

The next morning, all England sitting at its breakfast table learned that a heavy tax had been placed on all imports of the metal Nevranium, which is absolutely essential in the manufacture of doll's eyes, synthetic fruit pips for jam, toothpicks and debased currency. By this means, said the morning paper, the Chancellor of the Exchequer hoped not only to balance the Budget, but also to procure a substantial surplus.

Before a week had gone, however, it became evident to all that the originator of the scheme, the mighty Finditt Hout had for once been houtwitted sorry—outwitted. In spite of all the efforts of the police, Nevranium was still pouring into the country duty free. Men with specially skinned eyes were put on to watch all the ports and the Coast Guard Service was enormously increased from the ranks of the unemployed ; but all to no purpose. The customs whipped to frenzy examined all the goods that entered the country. Tchechoslovakian pencils were cut in half ; Danish butter melted clown ; Russian immigrants washed ; Spanish onions peeled by

specially recruited - teams of aspiring film stars; French, chalk pulverised and the bore of every stick of macaroni carefully probed An international incident was nearly caused when the two Ruri-

15

tanians who were left shivering in a cabinet at Dover while their clothes were being examined, were locked up and left for the night by an absent minded official. Yet in spite of all this activity Nevranium was still coming on the market in greater quantities than ever, while the Treasury chest grew ever emptier and emptier * * * * *

Finditt Hout despondently chewed his breakfast in. Butcher Street, his Daily Mail propped up before him against the Veronal bottle. He rarely paid any attention to what he was eating—his sulphuric acid cum absinthe cocktails had long ago dulled his palate —but on this particular morning he did notice that the tail of his matutinal bloater seemed extraordinarily sticky. Apathetically he let his eye roam over the Fat Stock Prices column. Suddenly his left ear began to oscillate violently—a sure sign of awakened attention. He had noticed that the Fish Prices showed a very erratic state of affairs. All the wholesale fish dealers reported an unprecedented failure of the herring crop. Even the newly formed Deep North Sea Fishery Co., Ltd., which specialised in herrings and which could usually be relied on, reported empty boats, and were unable to supply the demand. Hout mused and pondered, what time his specially doped tea grew colder and colder. As he pondered and mused his gimlet eyes met the glassy stare of his bloater. With a convulsive shudder he tore his gaze away and let it wander down to the tail. Its stickiness began to intrigue him. Why was it sticky ? Suddenly he started—and then stopped again. What did he see A hole in the tail of the bloater; two holes in fact, one in each segment Hout was now thoroughly aroused; a close listener might have heard a low hum, which signified that he was in full working order. He determined to pursue the investigation. He ordered another bloater:same phenomena; glassy eye, sticky tail and two neat round holes in the tail. But still the great detective was taking no chances. Seizing the tea cosy and clapping it on his head, he rushed off to the British Museum where he checked up in the Encyclopaedia Brittanica, the manner of curing herrings into bloaters. He wanted to know if the poor fish were suspended by their tails. No, said the Encyclopaedia Brit.--by their gills. !

Hout awoke all the readers in the Library by his loud shout of " Eureka " as he dashed for the door, joyously throwing a tear bomb at the Curator in passing.

* * * * *

Twenty four hours later the doorkeeper at Scotland Yard was confronted by a nondescript indiyidual dressed in thigh boots and a rough jersey, soaked to the skin and smelling strongly of fish.

" I am Finditt Hout and I want to see the Commissioner " said this person.

" Yeah " replied the constable on duty " and I'm Jim Mollison and that's Amy" pointing to a sergeant who came hurrying up.

16

Hout wasted no more time on these minions of the law. Drawing two jellyfish from his pockets, he thrust them into the faces of the policemen and dashed up the stairs to the Commissioner's office. Five minutes later be was leading a detachment of tbe Flying Squad to the warehouses of the Deep North Sea Fishery Co., Ltd., where he was joined by the Chancellor of the Exchequer.

When they had broken in the doors and arrested the caretaker, they found the largest room full of fish; some still squirming, others beginning to give off a dull phosphorescent glow. Donning their gas masks, the policemen fought their way to the back of the prem-ises where Hout who was keeping bis strength by chewing hemp directed them to break in a strong iron-bound door. As it fell it revealed a room filled to the top with innumerable rings of metal The Chancellor gaye one look. " Nevranium " he cried and swooned with joy.

When he had come to himself again he requested I lout to come to his office and give an account of his triumph. " No " said flout, a trifle neryously it seemed " I'd rather you come round to Butcher Street."

Ensconced in a comfortable armchair with a phial of liquid Aspirin by his side Finditt Hout explained to the Chancellor the details of the deep-laid and sinister plot.

"It was elementary, My Dear Potson " he murmured "The Deep North Sea Fishery Co., Ltd., sent its boats out every day to the Dogger Bank as usual. When they had made a good catch they transferred it to a large trawler lying about fifty miles off the East Coast. Once on the trawler a ring of Nevranium was passed through the tail of each fish ..."

"One ring ? " put in the Chancellor. "Oh Yes don't interrupt," snapped Flout, "The tail of each fish was then dipped into shellac varnish to stiffen it and the fish still alive passed out into the sea, with its head facing a river in Norfolk. You see, since the fish were unable to use their rudders, they were bound to arrive finally in this river where confederates were waiting to net them in the deserted upper reaches." Hout sighed and took a long pull at his Aspirin. " Quite " said the Chancellor "but why the second hole in the tail ?"

"Oh, that was to attach the cork " said Hout. "The cork ?"

"Yes. The metal ring of course, made the fish far too heavy at the tail end, so a cork was attached above the ring to buoy it up."

The Chancellor astonished at Holies marvellous powers of deduction arose to go, when suddenly a terrifying crash was heard some distance away, followed by a dull rumbling.

Good Lord ! What was that?' said the Chancellor. Hout leaped to his feet, snatched a long envelope from behind

the stuffed fruit on the mantel-piece and ran downstairs into the street where he caught a passing taxi. "Impenetrable Assurance Co, and quick about it," he directed

the driyen

17 THINGS WE SHOULD LIKE TO KNOW.

Who was it that slit Bill's gizzard—and did he feel the pain ? Who is it who comes in with a Lamb and goes out like a roaring

lion Who was the boy who resigned his legs in the French class

and if that was the reason White fattened his calves ? Whether a member of the Under XV really said "Thank you

Mama " on receiving his hot lemonade. ? Why the old song "After the ball was over" has become. so

popular? Was it really rum where the wine went to ? Whether the blue shirt in the Refectory has any political

significance? Who's Bobby ?

CHAPEL NOTES.

Circumstances have prevented us from singing Mass on Sundays during the term, but the chanting of Vespers has been kept up. By way of variety the Choir has begun to conclude the psalms with the Gloria Patri in barmony. Another innovation has been the singing of the Pater Noster at night prayers. This links us up with the other houses and schools of the Assumptionist Order.

The ceremonies of Candlemas and Ash Wednesday were carried out with great solemnity.

Altar Servers have improved very much this term. The Servers at High Mass and at other ceremonies have been G. Cheyne, M.C.; J. Foyster, Thurifer; J. Dunlop, and E. Cooper Acolytes. F. White has also acted as Thurifer.

J. LAWLESS, Form III.

THE THINGS SOME MASTERS KNOW ABOUT. With apologies to H. D. C. Pepler.

The things some masters know about, Are tasks and impositions, But all about the work we do, Lessons . they asked not when we knew, The reason why we're sometimes slow, Arid why we walk with head kept low O'er lesson books, with eyes a blur, And why we're dumb, and why we err And why, when work is done, we sigh Instead of play, with hue - and cry, They do not understand.

T. C. MACNAMARA, Form VI.

THE STRANGER.

It was quite a cheerful group round the glowing fire that dark winter's evening. Outside, racing clouds obscured a watery moon; anon, sharp gusts of wind rattled the windows and presaged a stormy night. Within, however, everything was warm and bright. The four of us reclined at our case, with our feet towards the dancing flames in the grate. We had just finished dinner and were enjoying our host's fine cigars in the smoke-room. United by bonds of more than common friendship, we had hit on the idea of an annual re-union, each of us playing the part of host in turn. Pat Simmonds, who was entertaining us this evening, was a bluff, hearty stock-broker of good standing. Jock Drummond, a long, lean Scot, was a marine engineer. Peter Harris, from Yorkshire, with his piercing grey eyes and aquiline features, looked what he was—a barrister whom many had learned to their cost to be a demon at cross-examination. I, Arthur Wakefield, am a retired Civil Servant. I mention our callings to sbow that we were more or less serious minded and not given to flights of the imagination.

Pat and I had beaten the other pair on the fifteenth green that afternoon and the conversation had veered from golf remin-iscences to the prospects of the weather for the return match next day. "I'm afraid we're in for a dirty spell." Jock said, gloomily

shaking his head, "What do you think, Pat ?" "Strangely enough, I was not thinking much about it." the

latter replied. "A night like this always reminds me of a queer experience I had some years ago. Would you fellows care to hear about it ?"

We signified our willingness and settled down comfortably to listen. , "Mind you, I am able to offer nc explanation at all for what

happened. I can only relate the bald facts of the occurrence. Perhaps one of you may offer a solution when I have finished. Some years ago I had occasion to visit a small country town in Ireland,—its name isn't of any moment. As you know, my Mother was Irish and I have often gone across for a holiday. This time I was combining business with pleasure. One of my best clients had a manor some few miles outside—well, let us call it X. Arrived in X, I put up at a homely little hotel and next day I 'phoned my client and was inyited cordially to dinner—we could discuss business before it, he suggested. This arrangement suited me admirably. My host sent bis car in for me about six o'clock; the manor was over three miles outside the town. I got a typically Irish welcome. His wife was charming and he had two daughters,— well,—if I hadn't been a confirmed old bachelor by that time, I 'd have been tempted to linger in the district

19

"It was just after half past eleven when I said good-night to them. The genial old fellow wanted to send me back in the car, but I refused, for it was a calm night, although there was no moon. However, I knew the district fairly well, and, as I'm fond of walking, the prospect of a brisk three miles appealed to me. He accom-panied me for half a mile or so and then we parted. The thought of anything untoward was far from my thoughts as I stepped jauntily along, humming a marching tune under my breath. But gradually there dawned on me a queer feeling,—some inner sense seemed to he warning me, —I do not know how to express it,—I didn't seem to expect physical danger, yet my every nerve was tense, on the alert. The wind had risen and the rustling of the leaves seemed like the whispering of watching people. There was no moon, as I've mentioned, and the darkness was almost tangible. The narrow road was only faintly visible to me and in places where it was bor-dered by high trees I could only see it for about thirty yards ahead like a dark grey ribbon stretching from my feet. I had met no one during the first two miles and when at intervals the wind died away, the sound of my footfalls on the metalled surface rang out clearly. I should say it was a few minutes after midnight when I came to a place where my road passed through a belt of trees meeting overhead. I was walking rather quickly in the middle of the lane, for the silence in some unaccountable way had begun to get on my nerves. Just a few moments later 1 got the biggest shock of my life."

Here, Pat paused and looked at us. He was unusually serious, and his eyes lacked their customary twinkle as they wandered from one to another of his listeners.

"As you have on most roads now," he continued, "there was a grassy border on either side, and then hedgerows about five feet high separated it from the fields. I had by this time passed almost out of the intense darkness of the belt when, just a few paces ahead of me, a figure stepped out of the shadows and stood on the grass border. To say I was surprised is to put it mildly; it was so unex-pected, so silent in its movements. The wind had died down, and if it hadn't been for the evidence of my eyes, I should have wagered there wasn't another living being within a quarter of a mile's radius. To the present day I cannot understand why I did not falter,—I seemed to have lost all volition,—I became a mere automaton striding towards and past that motionless, silent figure. I passed him and murmured "Good-night," though the hair was standing on my head. I could feel my flesh tingling and an icy trickling down my spine. I say it in all seriousness, gentle-men, I was mortally afraid. It seemed to be . the figure of a young man dressed completely iii dark clothes, with a soft felt hat on its head. But, more than anything else,—more than its unexpected-ness, and its silence, and its completely motionless, watching

20

attitude—what caused my nerves to tauten was the fact that, though I passed it at less than a yard's distance, I couldn't see its face ! No matter how dark it was, I realised that I should have seen at least a white blur,—something distinguishable from the rest of the figure,—where its face should have been. But there was nothing, —nothing, unless you call blackness anything. I got the impression that the figure standing so motionless and watching my approach so keenly was staring at me out of a place where its face was not,—in fact, that it hadn't any face at all ! Oh, I know it sounds utterly ridiculous, but on that night and on that lonely road, I tell you it was anything but ridiculous. I did not look back; I strode past and away from that figure with the sure knowledge that, still standing on the grass border, it was staring after me.

"My sleep that night was disturbed. I couldn't get that figure out of my head, wondering why it had stood there, how I could explain its appearance. I couldn't. I thought it might have been some fellow with a black mask trying to frighten me, but no, I just knew it wasn't. And next day something came out that made it even more mysterious. The body of a young man was found in the field behind the spot where I had met the figure. He was dressed in a dark grey lounge suit and wore a black overcoat and a felt hat. The post-mortem examination proved at the inquest that he had been killed somewhere else between ten and eleven o'clock the previous evening and his body had been dumped there to confuse the evidence. And it was about five minutes after midnight that I saw whatever it was. I have often wondered if it was mutely endeavouring to attract my attention to its dead counterpart lying so silently in the meadow just a few ,yards away. But I'll never know,—though shall always wonder."

Pat got up, filled his pipe and waited for our comments. We had none to make. What was there to say ? We couldn't doubt the truth of his story,—and yet, could we agree that he had seen a

visitor from beyond the Veil ? A. P. HALL,

A SLIGHT MISUNDERSTANDING.

Two men handed their tickets to the official at the barrier, and walked down the platform. The one was a huge, blustering man, with a very rude manner. The other was exactly the opposite, small, meek and nervous.

The latter manifested some surprise when the former entered the same compartment as himself. He cleared his throat : and began to speak.

" Er.........excuse me.'' He was rewarded with a scowl. After a few minutes he again

interrupted the silence: " Er.........excuse me."

21

Very deliberately the other lowered the newspaper that he had been reading and said:

"Look here, I don't know you do I? "Er............no!" "No! I don't, and what is more I don't want to."

As the train began to move, the smaller man attempted to interrupt, but was silenced by a gesture and : "Please let me finish. I have managed to survive without you so far, and I think there is every prospect of my doing so in the future. Moreover, I have made it a habit not to enter into idle and profitless conversation with a...a man, just because I happen to be travelling with him. That is enough I think."

"Not quite," said the other, "I believe that you took a ticket for Hertford. Might I point out that this train is going to Cambridge, first stop, Hitchin? That I think is enough."

JOHN FOYSTER, Form VI.

LIFE.

Our life is like a country full of many trails, Leading over mountains, through woodlands and through vales.

Some choose the best way, others choose the worst. Some choose the wrong way, for it's easier at first. Others haven't started, for they know not which to choose. And while some go hurrying onwards, others watch the views.

Some search for happiness, others search for fame. Some search for neither, but find them just the same. Some find happiness in the content that helping gives; Rut each will he rewarded by the way be thinks and lives,

P. FALLOWFIELD, Form V .

THE ENTERTAINMENT,

The Entertainment took part this year on March 8th. It had been preceded by innumerable rehearsals; a much furtive scurrying to and fro of scene Painters, and stage property Men. The Great Day dawned at last, with a frantic conning of our cues and last minute preparations; but space forbids any long description.

The Pirate Play was certainly the star piece. The producer, Father Walter, had spared no pains in drilling his actors, with a result that we were all treated to a delightful burlesque. Captain Cutlass played his part of Pirate Captain with an abandon and verve remarkable for a School stage, ably seconded by a villainous Slit-

22

Gizzard Bill who revealed an unexpected talent in his performance of the Hornpipe. The whole Cast richly deserved the applause which greeted nearly every line.

The traditional Shakespearian play found the Bard in humorous vein this year. Falstaff is admittedly one of the most difficult characters to render, and it cannot be expected to find any subtle interpretation in a School Play; nevertheless, White saved the character from any charge of pure buffoonery by ably portraying the broader lines of the fat knight's personality; his self confessed talent for "Causing wit in otber men;" his laughable, and one feels, innocuous exaggerations, and the hidden pathos which lies beneatb his grossness. Prince Hal played ably to his lead, though perhaps a little too restrained, while Poins, whose diction was excellent, though perhaps a little too explosive on occasion, got well into the character. The Thread of Scarlet provided the tragedy. The younger boys who made up the Cast, by their good acting held the attention of the audience right through to the thrilling climax. The emotional acting was perhaps a little shallow, but this is certainly not to be attributed as a fault to the boys for they cannot have experienced .

in themselves the poignant side of life, which would have made the expression of their feelings more profound.

Mr. Shrive is to be congratulate on the tasteful variety, and the exceptionally good quality of execution, of the musical pro-gramme. A pleasing simplicity was perhaps the dominant note in the different items. Those who always like to hear the words of a song, were not without some cause for complaint, but those who can enjoy rhythm, melody and sweetness of tone by themselves were fully satisfied.

Lemmon opened the Entertainment with a "Caprice" by Coleridge-Taylor and was rewarded with generous applause.

The Choir sang two songs with remarkably sure and perfectly blended voices. Purcell's three part setting to "Britons, strike home" was beautifully sung by Toombs, -Stephens and Newman who had completely mastered the none too easy interyals and elusiye harmony of that delightful song.

More homely in tone, but not less charmingly rendered was Thomas Moore's " The Meeting of the Waters " sung by Woodford with feeling and with a richness of tone which was a revelation to many. A simple descant woven round the melody had been learnt at short notice by Wilcocks and the two voices—the higher one a little too tremulous gave freshness to the old melody.

Our special thanks are due to Mr. Shrive for bis kindness in writing the music for the Pirate Play.

The composer had fully anticipated—and indeed, did much to create—the required atmosphere. The Pirate Crew marched to a swinging tune which had the flayour of the open sea and of bois-

terous freedom. They drank their rum to a more restful melody and finally uttered thier seditious rimes in a rollicking song of which, the tone and movement were as determined as the threats tbey hurled at the head of the bullying Captain.

The programme was as follows :-

Part I.

1. Piano Solo Caprices de Nanette '

(Coleridge-Taylor) P. Lemmon. THE ADVENTURE ON GADSHILL Shakespeare

(Three Scenes:Excerpts from Henry I V. Part I.) 2. Scene I. In an Eastcheap Tavern. Boys of the

VIth., Vth., & IVth Forms. 3. By the Choir The Jovial Beggar ' Unison.

' Sea Lullaby ' Part Song. 4. Scene II. On the roadside at Gadshill 5. Recitation ' The Night Wind ' W. Daly. 6. Song The Meeting of the Waters ' E. Woodford

& P. Wilcocks. 7. Scene III. In an Eastcheap Tavern.

Part IL

1. Trio ' Britons, strike home ' and The Rising of the Lark D. Toombs, A. Newman, ,R. Stevens,

2. THREAD O' SCARLET (A Play in One Act.) Boys of VIth., & IVth. Forms.

3. Recitation 'The Tower' (R. Nichols) B. Alder Smith. 4. Piano Selection Mr. L. G. Shrive, 5. 'UNDER THE SKULL AND BONES' A Pirate Play by Reginald Gow

Boys of the Va., VIth., IIIrd., & IInd., Forms. Scene I. On the Quayside.

6. Recitation 'The Elfin Artist' ( A. Noyes) G. Matthews, 7.Scene II.

On board the Pirate Ship. 8.

Sonnet

Vision at Jerusalem ' (G. K. Chesterton) A . Cunningham,

9. Scene III. On the Quayside.

GOD SAVE THE KING.

24

ST. MICHAEL'S COLLEGE CHARITY TABLE TENNIS CUP.

As we announced in the last number of the Magazine, Father Evariste has kindly offered a Cup to he competed for annually. This year there were twenty-seven entries. The tournament started on the second Sunday of February when all the first round was played. The best games of this were Redmond's and Roy's, both of whom won only after a hard struggle, while Broom, Lynch ii and Cunningham played well. In the second round the hardest game was between Cheyne and Smith, while Redmond again had a struggle to win. The third round was not a difficult one, Pyne having the hardest game. In the semi-final Cheyne lost to Heath by frittering away a big lead by driving too hard, while Pyne only just lost to Roy There was an excuse here however, because Pyne had just recovered from an illness. The final took place on the 9th March, when Roy who had a better sense of judgement, beat Heath who drove a little too hard.

We would like to thank Father James for his assistance in the tournament, and also the Members of the VIth Form, and in particular, B. Clithroe, who refereed. The finalists both receive a medal.

Everybody stood too near the table. 1st ROUND:

Bourke i beat Hallas (21:15) (21:9); Wortham beat Broom (21:11) (21:10); Willcocks beat Wilkinson (21:15) (21:9); Heath beat McNamara (21:6 21:6); Cooper beat Blakiston (19:21 21:10

21:3); Lynch i beat Wells (21:5) (21:7); Fallowfield beat Cunningham (11:21 21: 14 21:15); Redmond ii beat Daly i (13:21 21:14 21:18); Pyne beat Lynch ii (27:25) (21:14); Johnstone beat Dunlop (21:7) (21:14); Smith i beat Newman i (21:14 19:21 21:13); Cheyne beat Matthews (21:11) (21:15); Roy beat de Bony (21:19) (21:15); White—Bye.

2nd ROUND

Roy beat Lynch i (21:9) (21:8); Cheyne beat Smith (24:22) (21:17); Pyne beat White (21:9) (21:7); Willcocks beat Bourke (21:16) (21:13); Redmond beat Johnstone (14:21 21:18 21:17); Heath beat Cooper (21:19) (21:14); Fallowfield beat Wortham (21:8) ( 21:14).

3rd ROUND

Pyne beat Redmond (21:17) (21:17); Cheyne beat Fallowfield (21:19) (21:4); Heath beat Willcocks (21:13) (21:12); Roy—Bye.

SEMI-FINAL

Heath beat Cheyne (21:19) (21:19); Roy beat Pyne (21:14) (21:10).

FINAL ROY beat HEATH (21:16 21:13 21:14). G. CHEYNE,

Form VI.

25

IMPARTIAL PONDERINGS.

Owing to circumstances, beyond my control, I attended St. Michael's Mid-Lent Concert. I am bound to admit it was a grand affair. Now, I am no critic, but since there is sure to be a biased account of this function elsewhere in the Magazine, I think it would be as well if. I gave the reactions of an impartial onlooker.

The actors were wonderful, sublime! Even Falstaff, had he not been impeded by a great deal of surplus underwear might have risen to great heights.

The Pirates were typically piratical. The audience may have thought that the villanous appearance of the pirates was due to their " make up." Personally I am inclined to believe that it would have been more effective to have left some of the players au naturel. Bloodthirsty they certainly were—which reminds me, speaking of thirst—that the main theme of the evening seemed to be an orgy of tippling. I did not quite follow this. Constant calls for tankards of sack may pass at a pinch, but when two actors deliberately swallow their whiskers, any diet seems possible on the stage. Another bemused individual stumbled into the private bar, demanding in truculent tones, a bottle of poison for the judge and a bottle of whiskey for himself. This is all very confusing. Till then we had no intimation that the village "pub" was also the chemist's dispensary. But to return to our muttons; the Pirates—lambs in lions' clothing —appeared to enjoy themselves thoroughly. Of course, they had the true spirit in them; due no doubt, to frequent visits to the Rum Barrel, labelled for some unfathomable reason "Fyne Sack" Very ; very misleading.

Thanks to the announcer, however, who explained beforehand where each scene was taking place, we could usually distinguish a tavern from a road-side, or a pirate ship While visiting on another occasion the School Art Gallery, I have noticed that this explana-tory method is very helpful. An obscure daub, bearing the title "This is the cat," does appear thereby to resemble, vaguely at least, some species of quadruped. Littered with barrels and kegs, the stage did seem to resemble something of a public house.

The Mystery Play was mysterious throughout:in fact, we were still very much in the dark when the curtain came down—thanks to the electricians. And this brings me to the not unimpor-tant matter. of off-stage effects. The hail sounded real enough, but the effects-men seemed to miss their cues and, consequently, their peas whichclattered on the tea tray somewhat to much a propos. Their wind performance, although somewhat overdone was effective in raising a storm of protest in some quarters. The rain—like the drinks—appeared to be on tap and poured down to order.

Laughter may not have brought down the house, but the uproar may have had something to do with the fall of the side curtains during the scene on the hillside ; or was this another stage effect—rather subtle—to represent the rustling of the " wings " in the solitary, dubious, anaemic-looking tree that did yeoman service as a wood. I should not be surprised that this symbolism escaped many.

The entry of the pirates was splendidly staged. They appeared from everywhere ; popped out of innocent looking barrels, clambered over sea walls ; a huge number appearing from nowhere in particular. Being accustomed to the staging of crowd scenes for the films, I was very suspicious of the apparent size of the multitude ; but watch as I might, I could detect no early arrivals slipping out and re-appearing as new-comers. Very cleverly done. Everything was most unfaked ; drinks and money. By the way, the Procurator tells me that he is minus one penny on the petty cash loaned for the robber scenes.

The Pirate Play (I'm sorry, but I feel I must come back to it) was the hit of the evening—it would have been a real smash had the effects man dropped his brick into the bucket when the Captain was thrown to a presumbably watery grave.

Whiskers, as I haye already remarked, were either thrown away or eaten neat ; but the appearance of a bearded lady in answer to " Hostess, another cup of sack !" was perhaps a miscue. But then so many incomprehensible things occurred, particularly in the Pirate Play that there appeared to be a succession of red herrings drawn across the stage to giye a genuine marine atmospbere. The wharf-side lamp cast very little light on the subject, it is true, but how, and why it yanished and reappeared, post and all, like Alladin's lamp, was too hard to follow.

Nevertheless, a very enjoyable though somewhat mystifying performance.

SWANNEN HAFFER.

FOOTBALL NOTES. FIRST ELEVEN.

If football is to be judged merely by results we haye had a poor term, and the season as a whole has had little brilliance. For the 1st XI there has been less football this term than last, while the junior fixture list has been oyercrowded.

We were unfortunate in losing Murphy at Christmas, and his absence has been felt particularly by the attack. Huet has, however, very ably filled his place, and is a most tenacious defender. His constructive play and passing are, however, weak, Heath and Cooper have made most notable progress and are now a pair of reliable backs. Cooper especially has evidently found a position which suits him, and with more judicious positioning promises great things for next season. The wing halves have both been slow in

27 making openings and poor in recovery. The absence of Smith and Fallowfield greatly reduced the efficiency of the forwards where White has been the most consistent and successful trier of a very ragged line. Cheyne has captained the eleven conscientiously and well.

Following are the fixtures and results

Jan.

27th

H. C. A. C. Home Won 4-3 ,, 31st

Luton Modern School

Home

Lost 3-9 Feb.

3rd

Letchworth Boys' Club

Away Lost 3-4 ,, 17th

Stotfold Junior F. C. Away

Lost 1-5 ,, 21st

Luton Modern School

Away Lost 0-1 ,, 21st

H.C.A.C.

Home Lost 4-5

" UNDER 15 " NOTES.

The "Under

15 XI" has had a very successful season, and, in some games, play has reached a very high standard. No doubt much of this success is due to the enthusiasm and support shown by the rest of the College. This was very pronounced in two important games, the first was against Westbury in the first round of the Hitchin and District Charity Cup; the second, against Wilshere-Dacre in our race for the League Championship.

Midway during the season, our goal record looked very poor. In four games we had scored 16 goals and conceded 14. This denoted a weakness in the defence that demanded immediate attention. This defect was eventually remedied by putting Smith centre half and bringing the outside-left (Fallowfield) into the centre forward position. The success of this experiment is clearly seen by the following figures. In live games we have scored 35 goals and con-ceded only three. Furthermore it is a strong proof that we have had a well balanced forward line who could get the goals on condition that they got the right kind of support from the half-backs.

At the present moment we have hopes of winning both the League Championship 'and the Hitchin and District Charity Cup. In the league we need but four points, with three games in hand. We are awaiting with impatience the result of the Semi-final between Pixmore and Wilshere-Dacre to know whom we are to meet in the Cup Final. Our Semi-final was played at Knebworth, where we won 3-1.

" Under 15 " XL Record to date. League Results.

Won Oct.

4th 1933

Home v. St. Mary's

4-2 Lost „

21st

1933

Away v. Westbury

5-6 Won Nov.

18th

1933

Away v. Wilshere-Dacre 2-1 Drawn

Jan.

27th

1934

Away v. Pixmore

5-5

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Won -

Feb.

10th

1934

Home v. Westbury 10-2 Won

Feb.

24th

1934

Home v. Wilshere-Dacre 7-0 Won

March

3rd

1934

Home v. Knebworth 9-1 Won ,, 9th 1934 Away v. St. Mary's 7-0 Won „

14th

1934

Home v. Pixmore 2-0

Hitchin and District Charity Cup. Won Dec. 2nd

1933

v. Westbury . 5-1 Won

March

6th

1934

Semi-final y. Knebworth

3-1 1ST ROUND CHARITY CUP v. WESTBURY (Home).

WON 5-1. The College won the toss and kicked up the slope. The team

showed a good combination. However, the shooting was very erratic and our first goal was a very lucky one as it was a mistake by Westbury's right-back that confused the goal-keeper. No sooner was the ball centred than Sutton of Westbury rushed between the backs to intercept a long pass and scored an easy goal. The ball, for the rest of the half, was always at Westbury end, but the College failed to score. At half-time the score was 1-1 On the restart two goals were scored in quick succession by Smith. However, the most spectacular goal was the fourth. This came from a very neat move by Woodford. The inside-right took up a good position within the goal area, met a high lob from the left-half-back and tapped back to Smith, who was standing on the penalty line. The centre's first time drive went into the top right hand corner, giving the goal-keeper no chance. From now onwards, Westbury played like a well beaten team and they concentrated on packing their goal. When the final whistle blew the score was 5-1.

SEMI-FINAL V. KNEBWORTH (Away). 3 - 1

Owing to weather and circumstances, this game was played very late in the season. The Wednesday chosen for play was marred by a heavy snow-storm. Consequently we played on the following Tuesday evening, March 6th. Though rain had fallen heayily all day, there was a break in the weather which enabled us to play, hut the ground was in a bad condition. Perhaps - that could explain the ragged display given by both teams. In the first half we had the advantage of slope and wind, yet we could only score two goals. The first goal scored by Woodford, was the finishing touch to good work done by Lynch and Daly. Lynch sent over a very hard centre and Daly tried to head it but the goalkeeper just managed to scramble it out ; yet not sufficiently, for Woodford simply tapped it into the net.

In the second half we were treated to an exciting quarter of an hour. It was provoked in a peculiar manner. Daly was working towards Knebworth's goal when he was badly fouled. Smith then

29

missed a penalty for the first time this season. After that our defence simply fell to pieces. Smith mis-kicked and their hard working little centre forward sent a long pass out to the left wing. Blakiston once more used his old had habit of making a blind kick. Kneb-worth 's left wing ran on but when he tried to centre, the greasy ball sailed into the net just a few inches too high for our diminutiye goalkeeper. This was sufficient to excite Knebworth but Woodford decided the issue with an easy goal, five minutes from the end.

LEAGUE GAME V. WILSHERE-DACRE (Home). Won 7-0.

Perhaps this was the best display ever given by the College. Our opponents opened it in very dashing style and Smith had to save a very awkward situation. In this half we were kicking up the slope, yet the College soon settled down. Eyery player seemed to be in form for very few mistakes were made in this half. Perhaps we must thank all those junior day-boys who came to lend their vocal support. Some had come even from Biggleswade and Baldock. They were well rewarded, for they saw Fallowfield score a beautiful goal after working his way into a good shooting position. Then there came a second. Although Lynch scored it, Fallowfield was there to steer it home definitely. Woodford scored the third from a high pass sent in by Hunt who was replacing Pyne at right half. The fourth was a drive from the centre-half who was standing well outside the penalty area. Though many goals in arrears, Wilshere Dacre showed determination which was time after time repelled by our defence. Wilkinson was a clean safe kicker, whilst Blakiston was tenacious and proved an obstacle to many dangerous raids.

On the restart, the visitors rarely entered our half but Wilkinson marred an excellent display by dribbling down the field. From a corner, Jolliffe scored directly and the inside forward added two more. The outstanding feature of this game was the good foraging and judicious distributing of the ball by Woodford and Daly. The match was very fast and play reached a high standard. The final score was 7- 0.

Team:Willcocks, Blakiston, Wilkinson, Hunt, Smith, Bourke i, Jolliffe, Daly, Fallowfield, Woodford, Lynch i.

League Table.

P. W. D. L. F.

A. P. St. Michael's College

9 7 1 1 51

17 15 Wilshere-Dacre 9 5 2 2 26

14 12 Pixmore 10 5 1 4 38

32 11 Westbury 10 4 3 3 33

39 11 Knebworth 9 3 0 6 13

30 6 St. Mary's 7 0 3 4 16

31 3 Norton Road 4 1 0 3 16

29 2 Games in hand . . Two v. Norton Road ; 1 v. Knebworth,