Explain the importance of consistency in guiding children.

Apply effective techniques for encouraging appropriate behavior.

Explain how and why to set limits. Identify effective ways of dealing with

misbehavior.

3-2 Objectives

Guiding behavior is disciplining children when they do something wrong.

Punishment is is part of guidance, BUT just a small part.Guidance doesn’t mean “making children behave.”

Understanding Guidance

Guidance – using firmness and understanding to help children learn to control their own behavior

Self-discipline – the ability to control your own behavior

Emotional/Social Children learn to get along with

others Children learn how to handle their

feelings in acceptable ways

Understanding Guidance

Understanding Guidance

Moral DevelopmentVery young children understand right and wrong only in terms of being praised or scoldedConscience – inner sense of what is right

It is key to guiding children’s behavior.Clearly making rules and applying them

in the same way in all situations. Children lose trust and confidence in a

caregiver who constantly changes rules or fails to enforce them in a consist way.

Caregivers need to agree in advance on rules and ways to enforce them.

Consistency

3 Ways Adults Can Guide Children Behavior Appropriately:Encourage appropriate behaviorSet and enforce limitsDeal with inappropriate behavior in effective ways.

Understanding Guidance

Setting a Good Example Children learn best by being shown what

to do rather than just by being told. Telling What Is Expected

Children need to be told what is expected of them in ways they can understand.

Praising Appropriate Behavior Positive reinforcement – response

that encourages a particular behavior

Encouraging Appropriate Behavior

Guidelines to Encourage Appropriate Behavior Be SpecificNotice the behavior a soon as possible Recognize Small StepsHelp the child take pride in his/her actionsTailor the encouragement to the needs of the child.

Encouraging Appropriate Behavior

Suggest choices that a caregiver might offer to encourage appropriate behavior:

1.A two year old refuses to get into the bathtub.

2.A three-year-old refuses to leave the park.3.A three-year-old is throwing food onto the

floor.4.A five-year-old does not want to help set the

table.5.A six-year-old wants to splash through deep

puddles.

Group Activity:Management/Leadership Skills

Offering Choices

As children become more mature, they can be allowed to make some decisions for themselves.

This helps them learn that they are responsible for their actions.

Limits include physical restrictionsExample - preventing a child from crossing the street

A rule of behavior“We don’t hit other people.”

Setting Limits

Limits should keep children from hurting themselves, other people, or property.

Children will respect and follow limits if they are few and reasonable.

What Should Limits Be?

When setting limits keep these questions in mind:Does the limit allow the child to learn, explore and grow?Is the limit fair an appropriate for the child’ age?Does the limit benefit the child, or is it merely for the adult’s convenience?

What Should Limits Be?

State limits simply and briefly.

Limits must be clear.Use a calm direct tone of voice when setting limits.

Making Clear Limits

Four Steps in Setting LimitsShow understanding of the child’s desires.Set the limit and explain it.Acknowledge the child’s feelings.Give alternatives.

Once established and explained, limits should be firmly and consistently enforced.

Making Limits Clear

What happens when two parents set different limits?

Could divorce make this more likely to happen? How?

How can communication help people in all these situations?

Discussion Activity:

A caregiver should ask themselves these questions when responding to a child’s misbehavior:Is the expected behavior appropriate, given the child’s development?Does the child understand that the behavior is wrong?Was the behavior done knowingly and deliberately, or was it beyond the child’s control?

Dealing with Inappropriate Behavior

Shouldn’t be punished.Misbehavior is also unintentional if the child has no way of knowing it was wrong.

Unintentional Behavior

Negative reinforcement – response aimed at discouraging a child from repeating a behavior

In punishing, the parent should make clear that he/she disapproves the behavior, but she still loves the child.

First Offense Give warning rather than punishment Second Offense

Punishment is an order

Using Punishment Effectively

Useful TechniquesNatural ConsequencesLoss of privilegesGiving time-out

Time-out – short period of time in which a child sits away from other people and/or the activity

Using Punishment Effectively

BribingMaking the children promise to

behaveShouting or yellingShaming or belittlingThreating to withhold love

Poor Disciplinary Measures

Using WordsNo hitting or lashing out

Speaking calmlyCounting to tenHelps control emotions

Handling Conflict