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今日課程 Chapter 6: Listening and Responding Chapter 8: Communication and Identity 下週: Chapter 10 & 11
Ch 6: Focus Questions
How do listening and hearing differ? How does effective listening differ when
listening for information and listening to support others?
How can we improve our listening skills? What are effective ways to express support
for others? How can you control obstacles to effective
listening?
聽聽看:傳說是客服專線…
語音版 Flash 版02:48
Listening and Responding
People tend to more focus on talking Studies show: Average person spends 45%-
53% of waking time on listening to others Total listening time may even greater (if
radio…, background…included) Listening as No. 1 quality of effective
manager (survey of 1,000 HR professionals)
Hearing & Listening
Hearing is a physiological activity Sound wave & ear
drum Other messages
received at the same time (sight)
Listening
The Listening Process Being mindful
Focus on what is happening in the moment An ethical commitment; Leaders must want to listen! Enhance communication
Increasing understanding of what others feel & think Promoting more complete communication by others
Physically receiving communication Women are more attuned to what is going on around Men tend to direct hearing in a specific way Women likely to notice contexts, details, themes in
interaction Average: 300 words/min understood; 100 in speaking
The Listening Process (2)
Selecting and organizing communication Perception & Attention Study: Teachers unintentionally give more attention to male
than female students… As we listen: categorize people→assess them →apply ster
eotype→choose a script Perceptions can be wrong. Be ready to revise them!
Interpreting communication Recognizing others’ viewpoint doesn’ t mean you agree wit
h them; it does mean you make an earnest effort to grasp what they think and feel.
The Listening Process (3)
Responding Signs of being involved in interaction
Remembering Recall of literal messages vs. Recall of
interpretation of them Memory fading
Remember less than half immediately after we hear it Recall 35% after 8 hours
Obstacles to Effective Listening
Situational obstacles Message overload Message complexity (next slide: sentence structure) Environmental distractions
Internal Obstacles Preoccupation Prejudgment Lack of effort Not recognizing diverse listening styles
e.g., Nepalese give little vocal feedback
Example of Heavy Sentencefrom University of Chicago, Writing Program
The dog, overcome with a sense of futility at the unfairness of life, and miserable at the inattention of her master, who had become so addicted to TV reality shows that he had not left his recliner in over three days, nevertheless chased the ball.
The dog chased the ball, even though she was both overcome with a sense of futility at the unfairness of life and miserable at the inattention of her master, who had become so addicted to TV reality shows that he had not left his recliner in over three days.
Forms of Ineffective Listening Pseudo-listening Monopolizing
Conversational rerouting Interrupting
Selective listening Defensive listening Ambushing
Politics: Gathering ammunition to use in attacking a speaker
Literal listening Content level vs. Relationship level of meaning
Guidelines for Effective Listening Informational & critical listening
Be mindful Control obstacles Ask questions Use aids to recall
Repeating (e.g., people’s names) Mnemonics
Organize information
Guidelines for Effective Listening
Relationship listening Be mindful
Total listening: more than words, also silence & meaning buried
Suspend judgment Strive to understand the other’s perspective
Minimal encouragers: “Really?” “Go on!” Paraphrasing: “It sounds as if..” “You seem to..” Asking questions
Express support See Father-Son conversation on page 170 ( 結尾的對話 )
Ch 8: Focus Questions
What is the self? How does communication influence personal
identity? How can you resist destructive patterns in
communication with yourself? What are values and risks of self-disclosing
communication? How can you foster your personal growth?
自我 Self : 網路書店搜尋結果 博客來網路書店
搜尋結果:前10本書 Amazon
搜尋結果:前10本書
Communication & Personal Identity
“Self” is a process. Continuously evolves and changes.
The self consists of perspectives: Views about ourselves, about others, and about social life that changes over time as we inte
ract with others.
自我發展量表 ( 民 80 :江南發 )
The self arises in communication with others Self is not innate but is acquired (Mead, 1934). Self-fulfilling prophesy: expectations, judgment of ourselves
(internalized labels) Particular others: parents, siblings, peers
Reflected appraisals: a process of seeing ourselves through the eyes of others
(Significant others) Generalized others: collection of rules, roles, attitudes
Communicated by people we interact with, By media, By institutions: Judicial system, marriage, education system
Communication with family members Direct definition: Explicitly told Identity scripts: Rules of living and identity of a family Attachment styles: Patterns of parenting; how to
approach relationship (next slide) Secure attachment: Consistent, attentive; self-worth Fearful attachment: Rejecting, abusive; unworthy of
love Dismissive attachment: Rejecting, abusive; dismissing
others as unworthy Anxious/ambivalent attachment: Inconsistent
parenting; assuming others right / self unworthy of love
Attachment Styles
Secure
Dismissive Fearful
Anxious/Ambivalent
Positive Negative
Positive
Negative
Views of self
Views of
others
Consistent, Consistent, attentive; attentive; self-worthself-worth
Rejecting, Rejecting, abusive; abusive; unworthy of unworthy of lovelove
Inconsistent parenting; Inconsistent parenting; assuming others right / assuming others right / self unworthy of loveself unworthy of love
Rejecting, Rejecting, abusive; abusive; dismissing dismissing others as others as unworthyunworthy
Communication with Peers
Playmates, classmates, friends, partners… Reflected appraisals Social comparisons
Judgment about talents, qualities, abilities…
Self-disclosure Revelation of personal information about ourselves Hopes, fears, experiences, perceptions… The Johari Window: four types of information (knowledge)
about us (p. 214)
The Johari Window
Open Area
Hidden Area Unknown Area
Blind Area
Known to self Unknown to self
Known to others
Unknown to others
Communication with society
Four aspects of identity Race Gender Sexual orientation Socioeconomic level
Other social values Intelligence, weight (slimness), height…
Challenges in Communicating with Ourselves
Reflecting critically on social perspectives Ethical obligation to promote positive social values and a fair social
world Individual & collective efforts to revise social meaning
Seeking personal growth as a communicator Set realistic goals Assess yourself fairly (reasonable social comparison) Self disclose appropriately: safe, gradual, reciprocal Creative a supportive climate for change
Uppers: who communicates positively about us Downers: who communicates negatively about us Vultures: an extreme form of downers; who attacks our self-concepts